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15309762 No.15309762 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

/tg/, You're walking down a back alley in a city, when a 6 def marauding bandits jump out and pull on you.
If you're a magician of some sort, you're out of spells. If you're a bard, they're def, so you can't talk to them.
You draw your weapon to fight them, What is it?
Pic related, 2104.

>> No.15309773

I run?

>> No.15309776

>>15309773
They're surrounding you.

>> No.15309778
File: 79 KB, 527x702, 1290558837193.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309778

>> No.15309794

>>15309776

I climb?

>> No.15309798
File: 73 KB, 749x540, chaingun.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309798

rolled 3 = 3

>> No.15309804

>>15309794
They have a bear flying above you.
And a bear under the ground.
Only way out is with a bloodied blade.

>> No.15309805
File: 34 KB, 800x993, EvolutionOfPolearms.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309805

>> No.15309812

Lightsaber.

>> No.15309820

I shit my pants.
They might kill me, but cholera will get them eventually.

>> No.15309823
File: 300 KB, 850x1164, weapons.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309823

>You draw your weapon to fight them, What is it?

In one hand I hold my fanged keen vorpal +4 bastard sword (read: chainsaw) and my trusty quad-barrelled boomstick (read: rocket launcher).

>> No.15309824

>def

weapon of choice is spell check, unless those is some mad def bandits, dog.

>> No.15309829
File: 26 KB, 532x800, G26810 17th.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309829

While it might be nice with a twohander, or somethign with mroe hand protection, or a polearm or whatever such once the fight begins, but when it comes to "daily carry" weapons you bring along just on case there is the bit where you do have to carry them around al fucking day. And thus...

>> No.15309834

>>15309805
Kinda dumb and wrong scheme.

>> No.15309838

>>15309829
i like

>> No.15309847

A good ole' sword

>> No.15309852

>>15309834
haha

>> No.15309856

>>15309829
What is that beauty? Some sort of Falchion?
It looks like a Katana cross-bred with a 1200s era English longsword.

>> No.15309857
File: 780 KB, 2000x1133, BareHands.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309857

rolled 8 = 8

I take them all bare handed.
Bears included.

>> No.15309868

>Fuck this
>Pull out revolver
>Shoot them
>Stroll down motherfucking street.

>> No.15309871
File: 217 KB, 700x525, weapon for d20 modern.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309871

>> No.15309876
File: 15 KB, 241x400, mShestoperIAlebard.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309876

a Mezoa-pattern thunder hammer like the mace in pic, and a mono-groxwhip. Did I tell you that I have synthetic muscle grafts ?

>come_at_me_bros.gif

>> No.15309877
File: 22 KB, 800x600, m1-garand.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309877

Picking picture from my "Weapons" folder at random.

>> No.15309880

>>15309868
The bear follows you, floating.
The wind kicks up and the bear flies away like a balloon.
You hear a fading "RRRRRRRRRRAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUGH!" as the bear flies away.

>> No.15309881
File: 58 KB, 614x600, 6x3 shot.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309881

>> No.15309893
File: 16 KB, 500x188, 1281692059022.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309893

6 people is quite a lot to take on by myself, and so there is only one weapon I could use to win, and live.

Image.
Related.

>> No.15309895
File: 25 KB, 540x416, axegun.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309895

>> No.15309900

>>15309893
You are a horrible person.

>> No.15309901

Frying pan, Flynn Rider style.

>> No.15309906
File: 8 KB, 800x200, lut_10006a.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309906

>>15309856 It looks like a Katana cross-bred with a 1200s era English longsword.

For that you need a kriegsmesser.

Bonus; the balance is near identical as well.

>> No.15309909
File: 46 KB, 576x768, big macuahuitl.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309909

My favorite.

>> No.15309919
File: 37 KB, 480x342, Arm tear.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309919

My left arm. Never use it anyway.

>This post brought to you having just beat a Bandit Leader to death with my left arm after he chopped it off in DF.

>> No.15309921
File: 70 KB, 640x426, sibert_long_lg.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309921

It's Tomahawk Time.

>> No.15309923

Just to stop DM's pulling this sort of crap, I always keep all my valuables in a portable hole rolled up in a tube shoved up my ass, and then I dress as the filthiest, most lice-infested shit-smeared beggar in all of Fantasyland.

>> No.15309925
File: 25 KB, 532x800, G26665 16th.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309925

>>15309856
17th century, European, I'm not sure about what to call it, falchion, storta and perhaps even dussack probably all fit reasonably at least if you really want a special term, but "infantry sabre" or just plain "shortsword" probably work just as well.hand it to a sailor and "cutlass" might be mentioned.

Can't say I see where the katana bit came from though.

Pic: same general idea, 16th century. The pommel might suggest Germany.

>> No.15309935

>>15309923
What happens if you into an Ogre with a scat fetish?

>> No.15309936

>Fantasy Craft Magican

>Combat Just Started

>Out of Spells

>> No.15309942

>>15309906
Mmmm.
Fuck I do love German blades.
I'm planning on buying a Cold Steel Grossemesser.

>> No.15309947
File: 29 KB, 425x344, hammer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309947

I pull out my Large Goliath Greathammer and start knocking heads off.

>> No.15309955

>>15309947
Sup, Thor junior.

>> No.15309973
File: 392 KB, 1150x867, 1277247022191.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309973

rolled 90 = 90

WHEN I OPERATE I ALWAYS USE A TACTICAL BATTLE AXE TO FIGHT

BUT SOMETIMES AN AXE IS TO BIG TO SWING IN A DARK ALLEY, AND AT THOSE TIMES I USE THE TACTICAL SPATHA(TM)!

YES THAT'S RIGHT, FROM THE MAKERS OF SUCH PRODUCTS AS THE TACTICAL BROADSWORD(TM), AND THE TACTICAL CROSSBOW(TM), THE TACTICAL SPATHA(TM) HOLDS ALL OF THE CUTTING EDGE AND EDGE CUTTING TECH AVAILABLE.

THE TACTICAL SPATHA, COMPACT, STRONG, RELIABLE!

>> No.15309979

rolled 3 = 3

>>15309973
Take all of my money.

>> No.15309985
File: 20 KB, 500x541, midisword.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15309985

>If you're a bard, they're def, so you can't talk to them.
You draw your weapon to fight them, What is it?

>> No.15310016

my wand of sleep?

>> No.15310037

>>15309942 Cold Steel Grossemesser.
Heavy, poor historical accuracy, and with a nasty tendency to self-destruct which may or may not have been fixed nowadays.

http://www.myarmoury.com/talk/viewtopic.php?t=2652
http://www.myarmoury.com/talk/viewtopic.php?t=6573

>> No.15310050

>>15309877

Sir, you win the thread. Just cap it with a bayonette and the glory is beyond words.

>> No.15310053
File: 14 KB, 400x400, wood.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310053

A well crafted club will serve me well.

>> No.15310055

>>15310037

Was that the one that fell apart and nearly castrated a cameraman on Tosh.0?

The only thing Cold Steel is good for are unintentionally hilarious ad videos.

>> No.15310063

Some kind of submachine gun would be good. Or failing that, a shotgun of some kind.

>> No.15310078
File: 34 KB, 419x1119, Pallasch.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310078

A Pallasch. FOR POLAND HERSELF HAS NOT YET FALLEN. (Except those eight times.)
Are they Swedes? I think I get a bonus against Swedes. It's in the anthem.

>> No.15310085
File: 446 KB, 200x138, knivesowned.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310085

>>15310055
Nah, that was their twohander.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ofMnvrMRpjM

>> No.15310094

Close combat fighting? Scimitar, held close to the body, Whirling Dervish style.

>> No.15310108

>>15310037
Aw...
What are the best alternatives? It's hard to find anything on Grossemessers or Langemessers.

>> No.15310125
File: 372 KB, 1241x939, DSCN0540.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310125

>>15310078 I think I get a bonus against Swedes.
Considering how it went Karl X dropped by, or when Karl XII dropped by, I'd rather expect the opposite.

Pic: Swedish pallasches, from a pair of the monstrous (well, absurd might be a better word) m/1761 top to the m/1775-78

>> No.15310135
File: 51 KB, 800x530, 1304456410083.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310135

so it's a civil defending scenario? Luckily I have my lanternshield!

>> No.15310138

>>15310125

The really stupidly big ones are most likely parade swords, not intended for actual combat. No sword weighing more than a couple of pounds would be usable in an actual fight.

>> No.15310141

>>15310125
FUCK THE SWEDES
With love - The Vikings

>> No.15310143
File: 59 KB, 560x750, 1301894451463.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310143

This

>> No.15310159

>>15310141

Varangians >>>> Vikings. You're just jelly.

>> No.15310166
File: 8 KB, 300x69, 300px-Imperial_Chainsword.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310166

rolled 4 = 4

>Not using a chainsword
Foolish heretics.

>> No.15310179
File: 125 KB, 1009x481, rapeier.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310179

>>15310166

your chainsword is no match for may rapeier

>> No.15310185

Reading the text it seems like it was just poor design.

The text states that the design was a failure due to weight and length and was stored until they were ultimately thrashed.

>> No.15310193
File: 91 KB, 607x694, 1305305904241.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310193

>>15310055
>>15310085

Oh brother, here we go again.

Behold, the Cold Steel Throwing Shovel:
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=0McQ-cQmUZA

>> No.15310195

>>15310185

Damn, this was supposed to be in answer to this >>15310138

>> No.15310206
File: 103 KB, 1152x600, 0000172.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310206

>>15310108
Hell if I know actually, as you said, they're a bugger to find. Lutel had something for sale, but then they got buggered over by a management switch, split in two, and now both are supposedly best avoided (though the place that got the craftsmen will hopefully get their stuff together soon). Maybe Cervenka or some other Czech maker could work, otherwise I guess it's pretty much Albion or Custom that's the way...

>>15310138 The really stupidly big ones are most likely parade swords
Nope, they were intended for heavy cavalry troopers to actually used. Quite a bit of politics behind them though... Swedish cavalry wasn't doing very well in Pommern in the war of 1757-62, and their m/1739 sword (pic) became the scapegoat (I suspect due to someone wanting to replace the half a century old style with the latest fashion, ie pallasches). IIRC the complaints where that the m/1739 was to dainty and weak (sure, it might be over three pounds, but who cares), so the new pallach was made bigger. Considerably bigger. I don't have any data for the m/1761 directly, but the sign in the Army Museum says the m/1773 (middle in the above pic) was an entire kilogram lighter, and that one sits at around 1.6kg...

It's unclear if any of the m/1761 ever made it to the front before the war in question ended, but afterwards they were quickly hidden away in the armouries before being scrapped altogether.

So, yes, they made a 5.7lbs onehander for fighting. It just wasn't a good idea.

>> No.15310213 [DELETED] 
File: 154 KB, 400x507, 1278489974958.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310213

>>15310159
FUCK THE VARANGIANS, WE DISCOVERED AMAERICA.
WHAT'D THEY DISCOVER? NOTHIN.

>> No.15310216
File: 69 KB, 800x600, Shinken-sword.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310216

If they have chainmail, I'll just bash their heads in with a hammer of some sort. If they don't have any armor worth noting, or it has obvious attackable gaps, THEN MY BURNING WEEABOO SPIRIT WILL DESTROY THEM. GRORIOUS VICTOLY WEEL SOON BEE MINE!

>> No.15310224

>>15310159
FUCK THE VARANGIANS.
WE DISCOVERED AMERICA! WHAT'D THEY DISCOVER? NOTHIN', THAT'S WHAT.

>> No.15310226

>>15310213

Oh, only CREATE FUCKING RUSSIA! And what came of your visits to America? Iceland? Whoop de whoop.

>> No.15310230
File: 157 KB, 640x426, tumblr_lhbyss5ZK81qc604eo1_1280.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310230

>>15310224

WHARGARLBLR!!!

>> No.15310235

>>15310206
>>15310185
>It's unclear if any of the m/1761 ever made it to the front before the war in question ended, but afterwards they were quickly hidden away in the armouries before being scrapped altogether.

That was probably for the best. Hard to maintain a reputation as ferocious warriors when your cavalry collapse under the weight of their swords...

>> No.15310242
File: 148 KB, 1272x712, 1296943097228.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310242

I look at them, and then abuse the fact that speech is a free action.
My weapon is persusation, and my weapon of choice is my tounge of silver, and it shall slither their ears like a snake going down a mousehole to bite a mouse.
Even if I fail the first check, I can keep going until I roll high enough

>> No.15310244

>>15310226
OH, MAN. THAT'S IT.
GANG WAR TIME.
VIKINGS VS VARANGIANS, LET'S DO THIS SHIT.

>> No.15310259
File: 27 KB, 640x393, moc_rapier.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310259

Well, seeing as I am a wizard and therefor have all the strength of a wet noodle, I pull out my Keen Rapier.

Crits on 15-20

>> No.15310314
File: 54 KB, 282x638, viking spear.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310314

Is this the point where I'm supposed to notify certain individuals above that the Swedes were fond of going viking (just like the Danes), and that the varangians were also vikings (mostly Swedes).

>>15310235
Most likely, yes, though had any cavalry trooper ever managed to drop his sword on an enemy...

>> No.15310319

>>15310244
>Implying there is any contest between heroic state-building Varangians and rampaging Viking savages

Shouldn't you be out murdering 60 year old monks and beating your wife?

>> No.15310378
File: 315 KB, 2038x2037, gun porn.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310378

this

>> No.15310394

>>15310319
Naw, man. We only beat OTHER peoples' wives.

>> No.15310395
File: 124 KB, 899x893, Jedi_Lightsaber_by_Bonez18B.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310395

None of them will leave this alley alive.

Or intact.

Or recognizably human.

>> No.15310400

>>15310394

Maybe if you learnt how to bathe, you could get wives of your own?

>> No.15310426

>>15310400
Ba-the?
Besides, the fact that we're giant, hairy and scary won't help with the lay-days.
So we take them! Free women! yay!

>> No.15310444

>>15310426

Protip: Those aren't ladies. Real women don't have hooves or fur, and don't moo when you sexually assault them.

>> No.15310447

>>15310395

"Padawan Hertoc, Your report regarding the ambush last night seems to suggest that after defeating the assailants you spent thirty minutes burning their remains to cinders with your lightsaber."

"Yes Master Bal-maris, that is correct."

"Why? By all merciful ancestors, why?"

"Well i did tell them that if they attacked me not even their mother would be able to recognize them afterwards, and then when it was all over i realized that the Jedi Code frowns upon lies, so... you know..."

>> No.15310468
File: 57 KB, 859x879, auwwwhhhhhhhlol.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310468

>>15310444

oh god my sides

>> No.15310474

I'm not out of spells because I'm not from a system with a retarded vancian magic system. Ta-da!

>> No.15310476
File: 596 KB, 214x143, 1274637744609.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310476

>>15310444
Wha... They aren't?

>> No.15310487

>>15310476

Sorry dude. It's better you learn these hard truths now, rather than go thru life thinking you have any hope of happiness.

>> No.15310495

>>15310487
Hope of happiness IS happiness.

>> No.15310508

>>15310474

Worse! This is happening in shadowrun where being 'out of spells' mean you're unconscious already!

>> No.15310510

>>15310495

So a prisoner who hopes for freedom is actually free? Wow, deep mang.

>> No.15310514

>>15310510
Who said anything about freedom? Do you need glasses or are you slow or something?

>> No.15310542

>>15310514

If hope of happiness IS happiness, then why isn't hope of freedom, freedom? Is it because you're an idiot who posts without thinking? Or is it because you're an idiot who posts without thinking, and who knows nothing at all about elementary logic or grammar?

>> No.15310544

>>15310510
>if you put the blade of a knife into a fire it becomes hot
>therefore, if you stick your knife into a tree the metal blade turns into wood

>> No.15310554

>>15310544

How is that remotely the same? He is claiming hoping for A == A, not that you become happy thru hoping for happiness.

>> No.15310570

>>15310542
>If hope of happiness IS happiness, then why isn't hope of freedom, freedom?

Because they're two different concepts? THey might be related, sure, but they're not the same. Are you able to grasp that?

See
>>15310544
for another example of such a situation.

>> No.15310571

>>15310554 ==
Been doing a lot of programming lately?

>> No.15310578

>>15310570

Since you've managed to turn on your computer, you clearly can't be as stupid as you're pretending to be. So yeah, IHBT I guess.

>> No.15310589
File: 429 KB, 213x201, 1274157178180.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15310589

Goin' to the angerdome, this is tough on me.
But, back to the topic.

>> No.15310612

>>15310578
You're the one who for some odd reason seems to think, mathematically:

a*x = x

therefore the following MUST be true

a*y = y

No. It's not.

5*0 = 0

5*10 =/= 0

You don't seem to be that stupid either, since you're capable of stringing words together into a sentence, so I'll just assume you're trolling.

>> No.15310645

>>15310612
actually 5^0=1

anything ^0 power = 1

>> No.15310669

>>15310645
So what? Thats a completely different logical case.

>> No.15312349

>>15310242
Kinda gotta know what this is from, sil vous plait.

>>
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