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15012331 No.15012331 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Your boyfriend has been kidnapped by the Matron.

Are you a bad enough chick to get your fucktoy back?

>> No.15012346

Now why would you do something as silly as that? Just go and get a new one, it's not that hard. Not like they can refuse you or anything.

>> No.15012347

Reverse gender /tg/ thread?

>> No.15012351

Nah. She's the Matron, Llolthdammit. He's not worth the risk.

>> No.15012354

>Are you a bad enough chick to get your fucktoy back?

No.

>> No.15012364

>playing a female
NOPE
>with a male significant other
Nigga you gay

>> No.15012381

>Are you a bad enough chick to get your fucktoy back?
>get your fucktoy back
>fucktoy
>toy

The hell i wanna risk my neck. I'll just go get a fresh replacement, thank you. Lrn2drow

>> No.15012401

>>15012381

>tells lrn2drow
>implying a drow WOULDN'T take offense to someone fucking with their property

Matrons have probably been killed over less.

>> No.15012412
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15012412

>> No.15012439

>female drow horny enough to go save her dick

this summerfag crop sure is gay

>> No.15012444

What, waste my life for one male?

Have I put in some particular time and magical effort sculpting him to hit the right spots? A +5 Ribbed Dong of Clit-Tickling might be worth a bit of peril...

>> No.15012459

>>15012444
He's your very favourite that your mum gave you for your 201st birthday (which orders to kill you, but you talked him out of it). He's well trained and perfectly submissive.

>> No.15012551

>>15012459

He's also got a +6 tongue of cunt flooding.

>> No.15012571

I think it's more of a matter of principle.

He's YOURS, damnit.

Having said that, Matron.

Hell, as far as I know, this is some sort of prearranged thing to keep him tame. Give him a bit of loose reign every once in a while.

>> No.15012590

>>15012571
>He doesn't understand mind-breaking.

>> No.15012598

a drow will kill another drow that pities her, i'm pretty sure outright theft will lead to someone dying

>> No.15012602

>Drow Females
>Caring about Males

>Nope

>> No.15012623

>>15012602
Are you even reading the thread? It's not about the male, it's about the fact that that bitch Matron had the nerve to steal him. FROM YOU.
HE'S YOUR FUCKING PROPERTY. SOMEONE IS GOING TO BLEED, AND IT'S PROBABLY GONNA BE HIM, BUT ONLY AFTER YOU KICK MATRON'S ASS.

>> No.15012660

>>15012590

>he doesn't understand giving the stockholm effect a bit of encouragement.

>> No.15012662

>>15012623

easy freak. Go push your fetishes in /d/ or something.

>> No.15012679

>>15012662

I thought it was a thread about protecting your private affections despite significant sociological obstacles in your path.

>> No.15012691

Your giant slug has been kidnapped by the Owlbear hoodlums.

Are you a bad enough druid to get your gastropod back?

>> No.15012712

reported

fetish sex shit should stay out of SFW boards

>> No.15012714

>>15012691
See, now THERE'S a situation I'd actually believe in.

And hell yes I would be a bad enough druid. That slug's been my best friend for years. We've killed countless orcs that have threatened this forest.

A conglomerate of Owlbears won't stand in my way.

That said, what does one call a bushel of Owlbears? A "Group" just doesn't sound right.

A gaggle of owlbears?

>> No.15012739

>>15012714
A murder. A murder of owlbears.

>> No.15012757

>>15012739
Yeah well it'll be a slaughter of owlbears soon enough. I need my slug.

>> No.15012794

Your magic ring has been stolen by the sneaky hobbitses.

Are you a bad enough freak thing to go get your precious back?

>> No.15012815
File: 62 KB, 580x750, FATAL supplementary.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15012815

>>15012712
Sooooo... FATAL is not /tg/ related?
They're not posting porn pictures, and language has never been work safe here, so let them have their fun.

>> No.15012820

Your d10 has been kidnapped by the teenyboppers down the street.

Are you a bad enough neckbear to get your decision-maker back?

>> No.15012846

>>15012820
>neckbear

>> No.15012856

>>15012820
Which one? The crappy pastel blue one? Or the hand crafted, polished uranium, glow in the dark one with dwarven runes...?

>> No.15012883

>>15012856
>Or the hand crafted, polished uranium, glow in the dark one with dwarven runes...

That one.

>> No.15012895

>>15012883
THOSE BASTARDS WILL RUE THE DAY!

>> No.15012934
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15012934

>>15012846
Fly you fools!

>> No.15012956

>>15012895
HOWEVER! A d20 appears, showing off its seductive nat twenties, and promises that if you drop that d10 as your decision-maker, you'll get too see higher results that hag of a d10 could ever roll....

>> No.15012988

>>15012956

I kill myself

The End

>> No.15013047

>>15012714

I believe the correct collective noun for Owlbears is 'Loaf'.

>> No.15013076

>>15012714
>>15012739
>>15013047

>Owlbear hoodlums
>Hoodlums

I think it's a gang. With switchblades and possibly easily-concealed handguns.

>> No.15013108

>>15012714

A group of bears is called a sloth, and since owlbears are more like bears than owls I would say it is a sloth of owlbears.

>> No.15013120

>>15013108

A group of owls, by the way, is called a parliment.

>> No.15013172
File: 38 KB, 400x320, Paladin3.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
15013172

NnnnnnnnnnOpe... Still A Male Paladin... However I go to address the Matron herself and address the matter of stolen property and that as a Matron of her house she should abide by her own rules.
Charisma Paladins awwww yeah

>> No.15013183

you expect to find a chick here?

Reality called, asked if you were coming back anytime

>> No.15013197

>>15013172
I have the feeling your quest won't be as easy as you think it'll be.

>> No.15013217

>>15013108
Just use the Aussie method: a group of any animal is called a mob.

>> No.15013230

>>15013197
It NEVER is.... you have to go about threats and cater to SO MANY egos.... Ultimately it boils down to, how much are you willing to risk making yourself a suicide missile to take out the Matron? Because I can GUARANTEE she doesn't want to die. Once you get a good intimidation going through Matrons Generally start listening.

I can almost Guaren-damn-tee as soon as you leave, she takes the fucker back.... Do what good you can while you can. Some people just can't change.

>> No.15013246

>>15013230
actually I was implying that you'd be captured, raped and then eventually tortured to death.

but I like your response better, so I'll retcon the meaning of my question into something that can be answered by that.

>> No.15013248

>>15013217

The aussie method is that any grouping of animals is either a "swarm" or a "rolling cloud of death laying waste to all that lives, leaving only despair in its wake".

>> No.15013275

>>15013248
>a rolling cloud of death laying waste to all that lives, leaving only despair in its wake, of owlbears.
That's a bit of a mouthfull.

>> No.15013279

>>15013172
Male Paladin?

Did you get that boobplate from your mother?

>> No.15013311

>>15013246
Yeah I like to gordian knot my way through campaigns. Do what is entirely not expected. You learn to do so playing paladins.
DM says your church ordered you to kill a small boy the prophets say will become evil? Your church is possesed by demons and must be cleansed. Raise the boy to know right and wrong.
A Man killed a man long ago and now devotes his life to improving the quality of life but the law dictates he die?
You only HONOR laws, you don't have to obey them. Clear the man of any charges. He has atoned for his sins in the gods eyes.
BBEG Has your lover in some rube goldberg device and the only way to save her is to pull a lever that destroys a town? No, You do not tear things apart and spread your own misery across the land then ask me to abide by your rules and options! That is not how I play your fucking game!
Throw something into the gears of the machine stopping it and charge the BBEG in a suicide attack. You won't live, but neither will he.

>> No.15013329

>>15013275
You misspelt "dropbear".

>> No.15013352

>>15013279
Just like Hiccup!

>> No.15013358

>>15013275

>rolling cloud of death

Honestly, most Australian wildlife murders are more along the lines of "Oh shit, I'm pretty certain those ones are BAgaoidgkjdfnglijdfgnlkjndfgfraaaaaaaaaa".

>> No.15014327

>>15013108
Then... what is a group of sloths?

>> No.15014411

>>15014327
A siesta.

>>
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