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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.14851701 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Start dating fat ca/tg/irl that I met.
>She's probably around 280lbs at a height of 5'1" so REALLY big.
>We're both virgins
>Pull down her boxers since I'm about to give her oral sex for the first time.
>Huge bush of pubic hair covering her thighs and all around her vagina
>The mound of fat has these little valleys between the vagina and her thighs and they're coated with this thick cheesy crust (don't know what that was) and it tastes really weird.
>See bits of hair growing underneath her lowest fat roll
>That same cheesy crust is under there too
>Hear her crying and apologizing, mentions that she has trouble cleaning herself

;_; I love her so much but that was really hard for me.

ITT stories about ca/tg/irls

>> No.14851716

Jesus....

>> No.14851718

Help her wash and shave before you guys try again, could be hot, could be disgusting, Who knows.

>> No.14851721

shower sex dude, trust me on this.

also, encourage her to shave.

nobump

>> No.14851729

SQUAD BROKEN

>> No.14851731

nice copy pasta. now get the fuck out

>> No.14851734

Do we really need two threads like this going at once? Honestly?

>> No.14851741

I!
WAS!
EATING!

...Fuck.
Captcha: Reject outcat.

>> No.14851753

>thick cheesy crust
...FUCK YOU OP I WAS EATING PIZZA.
WHAT THE HELL.

>> No.14851760

>>14851701
Mother of God...

How? Why? But...

YOU ATE IT?! WHO SEES A WIERD CRUSTY SUBSTANCE ON ANOTHER PERSON AND FUCKING EATS IT?!?

>> No.14851764

>Pull down her boxers since I'm about to give her oral sex for the first time.
>Pull down her boxers
>her boxers

>> No.14851773

Goddamn it OP you made me vomit. Fuck. Please for the love of God tell me this is copypasta.

>> No.14851779

>>14851764
boxers are for fatties

and boxers

us /fit//tg/uys wear boxerbriefs

>> No.14851780

...I don't think I'll be eating pizza for the next couple of days.

>> No.14851787

>>14851773
no :(

my mucus has been thick and waxy ever since I ate her out.

i hope i dont have whatever she has

>> No.14851788

Jesus fucking Christ.

>> No.14851805

>>14851787
You have terribly low standards. I mean, 280 5'1? There's no way you're that ugly.

>> No.14851808

WHY IS THIS THREAD STILL ALIVE THIS ISN'T /TG/ RELATED. JESUS CHRIST INITIATE EXTERMINATUS.

>> No.14851819

WHY
WHY
WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY WHY
WHY.
WHY WOULD YOU TELL US THIS?

>> No.14851820

...is anyone else aroused by this?

>> No.14851834

....is anyone else aroused by this?

>> No.14851840

>why

>> No.14851841

>>14851701

>> No.14851864

>> No.14851870

God dammit OP, I was just about to go to sleep

>> No.14851887

>>14851805
this is /tg/ bub

>> No.14851889

So how can we make a gaming system out of this?

>> No.14851892

>>14851834
>>14851820
This is the more incredible part...

Fuck you, /tg/.

>> No.14851895

>>14851887
I know, but that's just...terrible.

>> No.14851909

>>14851889
You figure it out. I'm going to bed now.

>> No.14851910

>>14851701
ohlookitsthisthreadagain.jaypeg

>> No.14851941

>>14851909
Have fun dreaming about having sex with a ball of fat and cheese.

>> No.14851947

>pic

>> No.14851949

>why

>> No.14851950

>>14851701

>> No.14851953

This is something I could never wrap my head around.

I guess I have a really sensitive nose or something, helps with my job actually, but also has drawbacks (garbage, rotting meat/veg)

I was a fatass for the better part of 20 years, but one thing I never personally had a problem with, and never understood about the grotesquely obese, is how they could smell so bad.

WHY do fatties smell so goddamn bad?
Have trouble cleaning yourself? TAKE YOUR FUCKING TIME THEN.
If it takes you and extra 5 minutes in the shower to clean each and every crevice, DO IT.

Christ, you're just being inconsiderate to everyone else

>> No.14851965

>>14851953
This is why I'm glad I only weight 125lbs.

Rather be skinny underweight weakling than a neckbeard.

>> No.14851980

>>14851953
Being fat is just inconsiderate to everyone else. A change in diet can work wonders. True, some people are genetically predisposed to be large. I've seen some fat Japanese women before. But diet and self care really does play a huge part.

>> No.14851983

>>14851953
It's not that they're worse at cleaning themselves, they're just fat. More fat more sweat, more sweat more smell, especially if it's in a crevice

>> No.14851984

>>14851965

keep telling yourself that you worthless twig

>> No.14851994

>>14851909
Okay, so what if we made a game based off the different fungi and grease that accumulates in a fat persons skin?

We could do an Ozmosis Jones sort of thing, where the players are various cleaning substances.

>> No.14852005

>>14851953
As a rule, fat people are lazy. Fat women especially. This includes hygiene...

>> No.14852019

>>14851984
Come and say that to my face tough guy.

>> No.14852021

I saw something like this on /jp/, so just going to do my civic duty.

>> No.14852039

>>14852021
You saw this on /jp/?

>> No.14852043

>>14851984

肥満の男 確認。

おしりの痛い多すぎる。

>> No.14852056

>>14851983
I've never had problems with my smell as a 300lb 6 foot man. Well, not unless I've done something to make me stink, like mow an acre of grass or what have you, but that's not really anymore stinky than normal people.

Then again, what >>14852005 said is true: Fat people are universally lazy.

>> No.14852060

>>14852005

I'm terrified at the notion of going a day without showering. I just can't fathom it. I feel disgustingly grimy and grody and shit if I don't shower after I wake up.

I mean in a situation like combat or camping or shit it makes sense but for the average person living in a first world country I just can't fathom it. At the very least hop into the water.

>> No.14852070

>>14852043
ワロタ

>> No.14852077

>> No.14852096

Holy shit, are you dating some kind of cultist of Nurgle or something?

I don't think I'm going to be able to sleep tonight, I can't get the image out of my fucking head.

>> No.14852107

>>14852039

Not exactly, something similar, about this 260 pound chick, and the desperate sap trying to screw her

No bump

>> No.14852109

>>14851834
Good to know I'm not the only one fapping to this

>> No.14852116

>>14852060
Well if an attractive girl doesn't clean herself it's kind of hot. I mean there are pheromones in body oder, you know.

But to be fair an attractive-looking girl can make anything seem pretty kinky.

>> No.14852135

>>14852107
Sage sage sage

>> No.14852166

It's like she's never heard of soap or something...

>> No.14852201

>>14851980
>A change in diet can work wonders

So true. I got sick of me and my friends being ronery fatasses and we decided to do something about it. 2 years later I'm 90 lbs. lighter. Wasn't even that hard, just started TRYING.

my 2 friends gave up though, 1st one lost 40lbs and the other gave up after only 15lbs.

motivation really is the key.

>>14852005
This is my one friend to a T. He perpetually smells like B.O. and dresses like a 75 year old man, despite being 32. He just gave up at some point.

>>14852116
>Well if an attractive girl doesn't clean herself it's kind of hot. I mean there are pheromones in body oder, you know.
>But to be fair an attractive-looking girl can make anything seem pretty kinky.

I worked with a hot scene chick, back before this "scene" shit really took off. Started hitting it off really well with her, thought I stood a chance...

...then I found out she only bathes once a week.

MISSION ABORTED

>> No.14852203

>>14852116
Even then it's more disgusting than attractive

>> No.14852208

>>14851701
>ALL OF IT

>> No.14852221

Why is she wearing boxers instead of a thong?

>> No.14852226

>>14852201
You're supposed to only bath once a week, normally anything more will cause skin and hair damage.

No, seriously, Med student here.

>> No.14852238

>>14851701
Oh, and I guess she's never heard of a brush. And yes, there are brushes that are long enough to reach down there, no excuse.

>> No.14852244

>>14852226
If there's crusted cheese-subsitute in your crotch, I'm pretty sure that you should be allowed to bathe more. In fact, for the love of the Empra you should bathe more.

>> No.14852252

>>14852221
Because it's really a guy that OP is doing oral with.

>> No.14852255

>>14852226
Yeah, but that's because body odor isn't a bad thing in nature.

>> No.14852256

>>14852226
>mfw

>> No.14852259

>>14852226
I bathe twice a day, minimum. Mostly because of my job (cook). Dirty fuckin job, man.

Sometimes I'll take a 3rd shower on my lunch break because I spent the morning butchering meat.

>> No.14852260

ITT: l2sage

>> No.14852272

>>14852226
Another Med student chiming in. This fa/tg/uy speaks the truth.

While we're at it, using toilet paper on your ass is a bad idea. It causes small scratches around and inside the anus which can lead to infection. Not to mention all the chemicals they use to process and treat that paper. There's no mucus lining in the rectum, meaning foreign substances have a much easier time getting into the body via your ass.

Don't wipe; use your fingers instead. Much safer.

>> No.14852273

>>14852226
Not sure if troll.

Can you give me a medical source on what you said? I'm not directly calling you a liar, I would really like to know if that's actually recommended.

>> No.14852290

>>14852226
DIFFERENT MED STUDENT HERE.

No.
Shower erry day guys.
The damage is so fucking negligible it'll more than be made up for by the fact that people will now not shun you.

>> No.14852303

>>14851701

>> No.14852320

>>14852272
1/10.

>> No.14852341

>>14852226

Your classmates must fucking LOVE you.

>> No.14852342

Fourth med student here, don't wear clothes. Clothes have an adverse reaction with your skin, causing you to spontaneously combust when worn for too long.

>> No.14852346

ITT: some samefag pretending to be med students

I'm a RN student, and even the nurse's aids know that regular hygen can prevent disease, learn2med

>> No.14852350

>>14852226
Eh, that depends on a lot of factors, really. Water temperature, type of soap you're using, how you're applying the soap (rough vs smooth washcloth or whatever), etc.

Hot water causes more damage than cooler water, and harsher soap more than the milder stuff. If you shower in cool/lukewarm water every day, only use soap every 2 or 3 days, and keep to mild soap without scrubbing hard or using a rough washcloth, you can maintain perfectly acceptable levels of personal hygiene without significant damage to skin or hair. Assuming you're like most people in the western world and don't do much that gets you very dirty, that is. Even working out at the gym won't necessitate much of a change to this routine -- sweat washes off pretty well with just water alone.

>> No.14852354

>>14852272
ill go with a bidet before my hand

>> No.14852366

Another medfag chiming in. Don't drink distilled water. Your body can't handle after years of buildup from what comes from tapwater. You'll go into mineral lack shock and probably die or end up in a wheelchair rest of your short life.

>> No.14852372

>>14852226
Fifth med student here. Ad Mech is getting its own codex next February.

>> No.14852379

Solutions Op:

Buy an oversized bath tub.
Offer to have a "sexy bath" with her.
Clean her undersides... sexually.
Slap her face with your dick playfully, tease her.
Then make a fatroll cheese shake from the left over water; be sure to collect the hair and crust in the drain.

>> No.14852398

Another med student here. Don't eat food. It causes your arteries to become clogged and it will lead to heart attack.

>> No.14852402

Never change, /tg/.

>> No.14852408

>>14852354
Enjoy your inflated water bill, not to mention the waste of perfectly good drinking water. You're killing whole villages out there.

And how are you going to dry your asscrack off then? Towels are just as harmful in the long run you know.

>> No.14852422

>>14852398
>>14852372
>>14852366
>>14852350
>>14852342
>>14852272
>>14852226
I love you guys....

>> No.14852426

If I may offer my opinion as a well established doctor and medfag, I'd say that doing >>14851701 is much more dangerous to your health than bathing regularly.

>> No.14852428

>>14852379
>>14852379
>>14852379
>>14852379
Fucking this

>> No.14852437

I met an attractive woman in my new gaming group, we got along well, I asked her out and we spent time together and eventually had sex. True story.

We're both mature enough to keep our relationship separate from gaming too, so the rest of the group gives zero fucks.

>> No.14852445

>>14852226
This is true, I'm no Med student, but it was proven on Cracked via a study they found.

Link:
http://www.cracked.com/article_19121_7-basic-things-you-wont-believe-youre-all-doing-wrong.html

>> No.14852458

>>14852445
>This is true, I'm no Med student, but it was proven on Cracked via a study they found.
>proven on Cracked
>MFW

>> No.14852503

another med student.
no seriously, I mean it
Try not to breathe too much, it causes you to have lung cancer

>> No.14852520

>>14852503

This is actually true, air has a lot of nasty shit in it nowadays, if you live in a city then you might want to hold your breath

>> No.14852529

>>14852445
>squat

I've been doing that for years. Swift 15 second shits with less cleanup because they're not plastered over your squished-together ass cheeks. Call me a savage but I'm not going back to the uncomfortable and stupid sitting method.

>> No.14852559

>>14852529
What, you mean that most people DON'T shit in the squatting position? I tried the sitting position and it was like going from a Ferrari to a busted up Opel.

>> No.14852571

OP, you are a desperate individual. I understand this. But you still need to be savagely beaten for scraping the crusty bottom of the barrel. You shame us all.

>> No.14852594

>>14852529
>>14852559
>mfw I don't feel like some kind of freak now

>> No.14852635

>lbs
Why you people can´t use the superior kilogram system?

>> No.14852655

>>14852635
Why not measure in centimeters while you're at it?

>> No.14852662

>>14852635

Because we're not pussy-whipped by a crusty old lady and her inbred family.

>> No.14852689

>>14852635
Next thing you know he'll tell us to convert from Fahrenheit to Celsius

>> No.14852692

>>14852635
THIS IS AMERICA, DAMNIT.

.ORG, NOT .UK

>> No.14852709

>>14852662
>>14852662

>Imperial Measurements

>Sciences gurodun

Yes Captcha, the imperial system does make guro of the sciences.

>> No.14852737

>>14852692

>Implying UK is the only country that uses the Metric System, not everywhere except USA

>Implying .org has any connection at all to USA and doesn't stand for organisation.

Derp, another retarded Namefag.

>> No.14852738

Morale restored.

>> No.14852739

Suddenly I'm glad I don't understand the lbs and inches system^^

>> No.14852766

Sage

>> No.14852768

Fucking hell dude.

>> No.14852783

Reported.

This does not belong here.

>> No.14852789

>> No.14852793

>>14852783
This doesn't belong anywhere.

>> No.14852801

FUCK I GET IT /FIT/ I GET IT CHRIST.
Fuck.
Up on my ass and away to my fucking morning run.

Fucking greater daemon of nurge in this thread

>> No.14852811

Jesus christ, /tg/ is awful tonight. This is what happens when we allow people to take a shit on the front page--everyone else who feels like taking a shit promptly does the same.

Get out. Get out, and never fucking return. /tg/ - Traditional Games. Not /tg/ - Whatever Shit I Feel Like Vomiting Onto An Imageboard.

>> No.14852818

>>14852737
Herp derp, I'm a TRIPfag, not a namefag.

But yes, I am somewhat retarded. Don't you know how retarded Anonymous is?

>> No.14852824

>>14852811
>>14852783
>>14852766
>samefag

>> No.14852835

>>14852789
what game is this?
because that right there is reason enough to play.

>> No.14852857

>>14852835
I think it's Just Cause 2.

>> No.14852865

>>14852811
why don't you just report and hide then move on, instead of whining about it and inciting people like me to whine back and bump the shitty thread?

>> No.14852870

Another med student here...

Don't go outside and do anything, like EVER. You could get all hurt or dead or some shit.

>> No.14852904

>>14852870
You need to be a med student to know that? Even Ivan Drago know that if people die they die.

>> No.14853014

Don't feel bad, OP, oral sex is pretty difficult to stomach even with the best of girls.

I mean, jesus, those things are like goddamn lovecraftian sea monsters, and you have no way of even knowing horrific form they'll take until you've actually got her knickers down.

In fairness, of course, I imagine it isn't much more pleasant for her to put my cock in her mouth, but still.

>> No.14853068

>>14853014
Dated a bi girl who said she'd rather go down on a guy than a girl as a guy tends to be cleaner.

Then again, I think she just wanted to have sex, so take that for what you will.

>> No.14853148

>>14852737
.org stands for ORGMERICA. What are you, a commie?

>> No.14853171

>>14853014
Well, it can go both ways. A nice, clean pussy is the best thing ever. Going down on a hairy cunt with meat curtains is like getting into a fist fight with an octopus wearing a wig, only less awesome and more horrifying. And the not knowing part is fucking terrifying.

>> No.14853172

>>14853068
It's true. Guys can clean down there. It's hard to clean out a pussy.

>> No.14853205

You guys missed some ca/tg/irl camwhoring

>> No.14853224

>>14853205

Where?

>> No.14853231

I wish my fellow nerds were less pathetic.

>> No.14853237

>>14851701
Stale pasta is stale. Also disgusting. Stop posting this shit on /v/ and /tg/.

>> No.14853253

>>14853172
Just be in shape. Though, shaving actually makes it indescribably easier. So that's a good thing to start with. Kind of difficult if you have... rolls, though.

>> No.14853258

>>14853224
>>14850980

>> No.14853276

>>14853258

Files are deleted!

FUCK!!!

>> No.14853283

>>14853014
Tossing in my two cents, I'd rather have a chick with a 'large' inner labium (gf has that, pretty fun to nibble on) than one with rough pubes (once dated a girl with it, feels bad [and beared] man).

>> No.14853301

>>14853258

Goddman! can someone repost? Help some bros out!

After posting on this thread I want to see some real ca/tg/irl goodness!

>> No.14853310

Lol troll thread

>> No.14853340

>>14853301

Seconding this!

>> No.14853358

You know what, no.
Whatever board it is we talk about your sex life, go there, not here.
I come here to chat about Warhammer, and make fun of Larpers and stupid people who are not as erudite as I am in some nerdy, obscure topic.

Need I repeat that this is not the "relationship board"? Not even if it involves relationships with people who post here. I don't need to hear about your personal life.

PLEASE. PLEASE restrict it to how player x is an asshole at the table, or whatever.

>> No.14853365

>>14853301
>>14853340
>>>/r/8371576

>> No.14853373

>>14853365

You rock!

>> No.14853377

>>14853365

danke

>> No.14853390

Here's a recent one for you guys. I was giving my girlfriend a rimjob. It tasted...interesting I guess. It wasn't bad, but it wasn't good. It was just like I was licking some sort of surface. So we're getting into it, and the position we are in is weird, because I just dove it without her permission. You see she always wanted a rimjob but was afraid to ask, so I just went for it and she was loving it. Anyway, due to my positioning and with my mouth open to lick lead to me sort of drool. So I paused for a sec to get a hand towel to wipe my face then come back to change position.

I wiped my face with the towel and as I was about to toss it aside I noticed a bunch of brown smeared on it. "That can't be good" I thought. So I checked the mirror and yeap, poop all over my tongue and some on my face. At first I was a bit surprised that poop didn't taste more noticeable, but then I tried to clean it up real quick as I didn't want her to be embarrassed. Well, she came over to ask what was wrong and she saw me cleaning poop out of my mouth. She freaked, and then we went back to the bed and realized that my drool had mixed with the poop and now there was poop drool all over the bed. She started getting really embarrassed and I burst out laughing because it was just too ridiculous of a situation for me to hold back. I then wiped my mouth more and rinsed it out with hard liquor and water, then got some mouth wash from a gas station nearby.

Oddly enough it brought us a lot closer. We've since tried another rimjob after she had more time to prepare and it went well. The whole situation actually wasn't so bad, and I wasn't really bothered by it. All it did was remind me that poop is always funny.

>> No.14853406

>>14851701
OP. Your post made me physically ill.

>>14851729
And whoever posted this made me feel less physically ill.

>> No.14853407

>>14853390
at least it was girl poop

>> No.14853411

>>14853390
I laughed heartily. Poop IS always funny, especially if you only use the word poop.

>> No.14853419

Hey Hey! Guess what Summerfag? Fuck off to a board that might be related to this shit.

Is there /tg/ content? fuck no! So gt the fuck out.

Saged, reported, hidden. Fuck off.

>> No.14853424

Dear OP: I almost vomited. Thanks.

>> No.14853433

>>14853419
yyeeesss, yyyyess, let the mad flow through you, specifically your butt. All we need now is to be allowed to post nudes again.

>> No.14853470

>> No.14853477

Unless that's your thing or it's spontaneous, everyone should wash up before performing sexual acts with the mouth or ass. Get one of those handheld shower things if you want to incorporate things regularly into the mix.

And the rest is just a matter of taste, sometimes literally, sometimes people just prefer not putting things in certain places. Trick is finding someone who likes the same things you do, or is at least curious enough to want it (girls want sex just as much as guys).

I just knocked up my wife, like two months ago. For a couple weeks after we tried the pregnancy test sometimes there was blood on my dick when I pulled out. Not from rough sex or anything, just some things...idunno, setting up for pregnancy. Like shit, blood happens. Specially if you want some during that time of the month.

>> No.14853486

sage goes in all fields

>> No.14853512

this shit needs to go elsewhere. 'Cause it's NOT your /tg/, and you DON'T decide what's related.

>> No.14853526

>>14853512
So move it.

>> No.14853544

>>/soc/

>> No.14853548

Why.

>> No.14853559

>>14853526
you just don't get it? do you? In what way, has this got ANYTHING AT ALL to do with Traditional Games?

I mean, shit, I wouldn't post this on /sci/ just because the girl in question happened to be a marine biologist.

So FUCK OFF.

>> No.14853565

OP loves horsecocks.

>> No.14853581

>/soc/
>/b/
>/adv/

any of these would be fine. /tg/? Nope.jpg

>> No.14853598

>>14853512
You don't get to enforce it. Stop trying to be a wannabe mod,

>> No.14853600

Report submitted! This window will close in 5 seconds...

>> No.14853606

>>Hosting a Student Radio program, have single fan.
>>Meet her, hang out, hit it off, cheat on then-girlfriend with her.
>>Then-Girlfriend dumps me, was cheating on me the whole time anyway.
>>Hook up with this girl.
>>5 years later, we roleplay regularly, she's starting to GM, and is getting into WB and 40k. We play Munchkin, Arkham Horror, Chrononauts and other games all the time.
>>She proposes to me.
>>nope.avi

>> No.14853610

I now demand photos of said fa/tg/irl.

>> No.14853618

>>14853606

Dude, is that werribee plaza?

>> No.14853623

>>14853618
>>GET OUT OF MY HEAD, CHARLES.

>> No.14853626

>>14853623

FFFFUUU HOW LONG HAS THERE BEEN A TABLETOP COMMUNITY HERE?!

>> No.14853627

Nerd girls don't exist.

You've all be glammered to be used as a food source in the future.

But I'll lead the revolution against the rupture farms, don't you worry.

>> No.14853650

>>14853626

A long while. Hell, there was an entire sharehouse full of them. Roleplaying and parties everywhere. Not even joking.

>> No.14853653

>>14853650

I was part of a very small group that played 4e over in Wyndham Vale last year, it didn't last long though.

>> No.14853654

copy paste taste delicious, to bad no janitor could be here to enjoy it.

then again, the janitor is probably the girl from the original pasta.

>> No.14853659

>>14853559
All saging does is not bump.

>> No.14853670

don't the guys of /soc/ worship these types of girls?

>> No.14853682

>>14853606
So you become her dream guy and then you turn her down, putting her into the friendzone? Looks like you are all the girls that the guys here hate. You are a bitches and whores.

>> No.14853699

>>14853512
you are aware that 99% of threads in /tg/ are about the lore of certain fantasy universes, yes many of them are based around traditional games but we are not talking about the actual game itself we are just essentially discussing the plot to a series of books based around a game, which not /tg/ related either.

>> No.14853709

itt: People who haven't realised this is a horror thread.

>> No.14853714

>Fucking fatties
WHY

I can understand delicious curvy chubbies, but thre's nothing appealing about a tub of lard.

>> No.14853715

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>> No.14853744

>>14853627

>rupture farms

THEY SAY IT'S THE BIGGEST MEAT PROCESSING PLANT ON ODDWORLD.

>> No.14853768

>>14853682
Nope. He didn't want to engage in a serious relationship, simple as that. It's fine when you do that to girls, and when they do that to you. And no, sex doesn't change that either.

>> No.14853810

>>14853768
That's what I was trying to get at through satire.

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