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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.14514565 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>> No.14514571

it's not in cake form
i don't care
fuck off

>> No.14514577

;_;

>> No.14514586

Massive Damage!
nb404

>> No.14514597

Crab pinches Hand
Hand holds Scissors
Scissors holds Crab

>>>/v/91704205

>> No.14514618

There's a kind of vicious symmetry here, I'll give you that.

>> No.14514644

Let's meet the meat!
>Plz, I have 10000 children!
>I'm sure they'll be delicious also.
I can't wait until we uplift cattle...

>> No.14514670

>> No.14514681

>>14514565

not so fast, shears

>> No.14514692

>>14514565
The saddest crab

>> No.14514706

>>14514692
Happy crab time

>> No.14514733

>> No.14514743

>>14514565
Who taught you how to cook?

You toss crabs in the pot while they're still alive. Just like lobsters and crawdads.

>> No.14514745

Sure is /b/ in here.

>> No.14514766

Personally I just pull off all the bits I wanna eat then turn them loose. It's less cruel that way.

>> No.14514794

Jack Nicholson Crab Battle!

>> No.14514805

And now I'm hungry.

>> No.14514818

We need drawfaggotry of a Nid or a Daemonette doing this to a... I going to go with a Guardsman? They're similarly disposable.

>> No.14514827

>>14514818
I know Daemonettes have the claws for it, but Nids are more crustacean in appearance so you get a nice symmetry there.

>> No.14514848

take all your crabs and tie them together with turkey ties, leaving a significant distance to hold them by. soak them in ice water for about fifteen minutes, cover up the bowl so they can't climb out. now's a good time to get the water boiling. put some sage (pictured right) in the water for flavor. when they've been soaking long enough to be cold on the inside, cut off that excess string and drop them in the boiling water. it usually takes a crane to get them out.

>> No.14514862

25 Minutes later...
>modsaresleeping.avi

>> No.14514872

>>14514848
FUUUUUUUUUUUUU I was gonna sage with that post! I would've luld so hard

>> No.14514885

As somebody of /v/ pointed out, one of the few things a crab is fully and inherently capable of comprehending is the nature of scissors.

>> No.14514899

>>14514743
Enjoy your waterlogged, not-as-sweet-as-mine crabs faggot.

>> No.14514902

>>14514885

>> No.14514911

>>14514848
>Pictured right
>Right
>It's on the left

>> No.14514914

Pretty much why I hate meat eaters. The majority of them are such cowards they couldn't' even get their own flesh to eat.

>> No.14514918

they can't feel pain, ya know...

>> No.14514953

>>14514914
Crabs: not that difficult to catch.

>> No.14514954

>> No.14514981

>>14514914
I raise cattle.
I give the newborn calves names.
Like Chuck
Or Roast
When a bred cow starts showing I'll give her some oats, and while she eats them from my palm I'll tell her, "I'm going to eat your baby". She looks up at me with those soft, dull eyes as she chews I can know that she knows.
Sometimes I'll plan on eating lunch out in the pasture. Naturally, I eat a lot of red meat, and I can imagine them catching the scent of my roast beef sandwich. They think, "That's so familiar. Chuck?"
Also I use tons of chemicals and hormones.

>> No.14515002

>>14514981
Lawful or Neutral Evil?

>> No.14515006

The crab is D&D 3.5.

The scissors are 4th Edition.

>> No.14515054

I only ate crab once in my entire life, I recall it was quite nice.


Why am I posting this?

>> No.14515066

>>14515054
>>14514706

>> No.14515074

>>14515006
The truth just makes me sad.

>> No.14515081

>>14515006
So you're saying that Real D&D is Lobster.

>> No.14515100

>>14515054
Because Crab Hairdressers are love.

>> No.14515110

>>14515100
Wait, you actually got the full set? Can you post it with spoilers or something?

I just want it for artistic reasons.

>> No.14515128

>>14515110

I WANT TO BREAK HER SHELL WITH MY GREAT SWORD

>> No.14515130

>>14515110
No spoilers on /tg/, but it looks like an anthro version of the Shogun Ceanataur from Monster Hunter.

>> No.14515143

>>14515110

There's nothing explicit of her, to my knowledge.

>> No.14515150

>>14515130
I know, I just want to cause some fighting at MH Generals in that other board.

>> No.14515163

would you be interested in MH tabletop?

>> No.14515174

When I used to live near the shore I'd put out crab pots every two or three days and bring home a bushel of those fuckers I had to clean by hand. The way I learned was to rip off the claws first, rip off the top shell, tear out the gills, clean out the organs with a spray from the hose and toss the good parts in a bowl and the leftover crap in a bucket which got dumped back in the bay. Circle of life, baby. None of this pussy ass scissors nonsense. We used bare hands.

>> No.14515194

>But the problem with the knife method is basic biology: Lobsters' [and crabs'] nervous systems operate off not one but several ganglia, a.k.a. nerve bundles, which are sort of wired in series and distributed all along the lobster's [crab's] underside, from stem to stern. And disabling only the frontal ganglion does not normally result in quick death or unconsciousness.

thanks DFW

>> No.14515196

>>14515174

isn't that the normal way to do it?

I dunno, I'm Chinese.

>> No.14515217

Step 1. Find concrete wall.
Step 2. Receive crab.
Step 3. Hit edge of crab shell by its eyes straight down on to the edge of the concrete wall.
Step 4. Top of crab pops off
Step 5. tear everything out of the middle
Step 6. Break in half and toss in pot.

Done and done.

>> No.14515225

MFW I'm expected to empathize with non-sapient creatures.
I barely empathize with other Humans.

>> No.14515234

>>14515143
Well, are you posting the rest?

>> No.14515248

>>14515163
Monster Hunter is way too fast paced and unforgiving for tabletop. And even then, the weapons themselves play differently with different speeds.

>> No.14515258

>>14515234

http://www.gelbooru.com/index.php?page=post&s=list&tags=tagane

Go nuts. Especially when you see what else he's drawn.

>> No.14515265

>>14515248

I'm workin' on it.
It's more a 'Capcom philosophy' sort of tabletop game though. check in maybe a week and I'll have the core down

>>
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