Quantcast
[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!

/tg/ - Traditional Games


View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
[ERROR] No.14459999 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

I'm a Space Marine, I have a problem with my´╗┐ girlfriend who's in the Sisterhood, she always say I cheat on her and should be put to the torch. Could anyone help me?

Please warp mail me to [email protected]

>> No.14460004

Just kill her.

Not like anyone will care.

>> No.14460014

Go to bed, Guardsman, nobody believes you.

The only Marines that still have a sexdrive to speak of are Wolves, Salamanders, and Chaos. Holopics or GTFO.

>> No.14460042

>>14459999
>implying a sister would have anything to do with a blue baffoon like you when there are still plenty of Wolves to go around.
>implying you are not most likely just an abomination out to do evil and turn citizens of the Empire of Man confused about the glorious warriors defending it.
>Implying Im not going to call heresy and report your Inter Galatic Internet Protocol (IGIP) to the Inquisition.

Have fun being burned for heresy, heretic

>> No.14460050

> blood raven
Stop stealing her condoms and she'll stop catching you.

>> No.14460059

Hello fellow Tau.
Anyone know of any attack on Imperium territory soon? I wish to help you in our glorious conquest for the Emp- I mean Greator Good or something.

>> No.14460306

>>14459999

Perhaps she's just trying to be kinky? She may be trying to see if you're submissive or not.

>> No.14460436

Wot are you finking?! 'u shouldn't be worryin' 'bout wot some stupid gitz fink! 'u should drop the sorry git and get back to the WAAAAUUUUUGG

-Madluv Heartcrusha

>> No.14460451

>>14460059
The Greater Good is overrated bullshit, sis.

>> No.14460460

[email protected]
Contact me. I can't send out emails unless I get them first, the server on my end is dumb.

>> No.14460506

>>14460059

nice try, Callidus

>> No.14460518

>>14459999
>magpies all up in our /tg/ stealing our 9s.

Traitor Guard scout here, looking for love connection with mutant girl, shapeshifters preferred, will accept stocky tau-gurl poon as well.

suck-it inquisition!
keep worshiping your nurgleing emperor.

>> No.14460555

>>14460436

you saved a picture of my Snikrot :D

oh wow :D

>> No.14460572

>>14460518
Uh... I'm not exactly what you'd call "stocky" but... Is a taucron fine too? What do you want it for exactly by the way? I do't know much about male Gue'las, you know.

>dirti institute
Captcha is trying to tell me something

>> No.14460600

>>14459999
Well maybe you should just come clean about your boyfriend and stop fucking guys behind her back.

>> No.14460676

>>14460572
I just realized that her skin is pretty much the same shade of blue as the burichan background color (SFW boards)

>> No.14460678

>>14460572
You are not a tau, you are a horrendous xeno abomination. The c'tan wont get my soul so easily!

>but if you really are looking for love and this isnt some crazy necron trick, try a dreadnaught, buggering a cron would be the territory of space marine veterans.

>> No.14460712

>>14460600
It's not that he's gay, it's just that he has. . . more exotic tastes in women, rather than boring sisterhood girls.

>> No.14460730

>>14460719
Forget the Dreads, and come take a ride on my Hammerhead.
...
The Hammerhead is my dick.

>> No.14460736

>>14460678
>You are not a tau, you are a horrendous xeno abomination
Yeah, that's my name. Xeno Abawmeenayshun, sounds cute, huh?

> try a dreadnaught, buggering a cron would be the territory of space marine veterans.

But your dreeadnoughts are so... Big...

>> No.14460747

>>14460730
what's a "dick"?
You know, I've been brainwashed, and they didn't teach me much in the Empire apart from ship maintenance

>> No.14460756

The tau guy reminds me of that asian kid from shortpacked

>> No.14460777

>>14459999
FUCKER STOLE ALL OUR QUADS!

>> No.14460782

>>14460777
Well, hey, at least you guys still have your trips.

>> No.14460795

>>14459999
Hey Faggots,

My name is Ragnar, and I hate every single one of you. All of you are fat, retarded, no-lifes who spend every second of their day looking at stupid ass pictures. You are everything bad in the world. Honestly, have any of you ever gotten any pussy? I mean, I guess it's fun making fun of people because of your own insecurities, but you all take to a whole new level. This is even worse than jerking off to pictures on VisageTome.

Don't be a stranger. Just hit me with your best shot. I'm pretty much perfect. I was captain of the Wolf Guard, and starter on my Deathwatch Kill Team. What force organization slot are you, other than "meat shield"? I also get straight headshots, and have a banging hot girlfriend (She just blew me; Shit was SO cash). You are all faggots who should just kill yourselves. Thanks for listening.

Pic Related: It's me and your ex-bitch .

>> No.14460797

>>14459999
Not your personal chapter.

>> No.14460808

>>14460777
>trips
Goddammit!

>> No.14460842

>>14460795
Fuck off, Space Yiff.

>> No.14460866

>>14460795

I didn't know they let Asian chicks into the Sisterhood.

>> No.14460879

Y all Salamanders posting in a Zuvassin thread

>> No.14460919

>>14460866
They let all kinds of chicks into the Sisters. And probably some trannies too.

>> No.14460952

This thread is reaching epic win levels. Continue.

>> No.14461136

Dear Deidre the Understanding Purgerator, I need some advice. I started dating this hot xenos chick a few months ago, our relationship is getting serious but my parents are very conservative. My father is a Confessor at the Cathedral of Rabid Hatred on Xenon Prime, he won't understand how our relationship is even possible let alone accept that we love each other. How do I break the news to them?

>> No.14461180

You're all faggots.

>> No.14461209

>>14461180
Sorry man, I'm all about the ladies. But hey, if thinking that helps you get off, then keep on thinking it. Now where the fuck if Doom Rider? This beer won't drink itself.

>> No.14461218

>>14461209
Oh, you mean this bunch of drinks here?

>> No.14461247

>> No.14461266

>>14461247
This made me laugh. Good job sir.

>> No.14461333

>>14461218
...
You have no honor, like a woman. Now, show me your honor.

>> No.14461367

>>14461333
FOR THE LOVE OF GOD!

No one post the fag-penis-duel of Oglaf.

No one!

>> No.14461384

>>14461367
Are you challenging my honor?

>> No.14461391

>>14461367

His OTHER honor is hurt.

>> No.14461398

>>14461247

So, is it heresy?

>> No.14461406

>>14461384
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu-----------------------

>> No.14461433

THIS THREAD IS REACHING KUHRAZEEE LEVELS OF HERESY

>> No.14461454

>>14461433
postan delicious heresy to combat the fail heresy

>> No.14461464

>>14461454
You have to pay 10$ to access the online heresy function.

>> No.14461485

>>14461464

FFFUUUUUUU

>> No.14461488

I smell heresy!

WHY AM I POORLY EQUIPPED FOR COMBAT WITH A STORM SHIELD AND BOLT PISTOL, FUCK.

>> No.14461489

>> No.14461493

>>14461489
Something is not right here...

>> No.14461524

>>14461488
that's no use, lad, she'll be back, no matter how hard you hit it.

>> No.14461585

Man, now I want to get a bunch of Flayed Ones and paint the skins/blood up as Tau.

>> No.14461601

>>14461488
I'd say that's a combat shield.
It's not heug enough to be a storm shield.

>> No.14461616

>> No.14461617

>>14461585

THE HORROR
THE HORROR

And Xeno isn't a flayed one

>> No.14461653

>>14461601

I have stormshields that look just like that/aren't fuckhuge.

Honestly, the only super fuckhuge stormshields are Lysander's and the one on that Master of the Fleet model.

>> No.14461669

>>14461653
that's because they are supposed to be combat shields, not storm shields

>> No.14461712

>>14461669

They're terminator SSs from the old dark angels upgrade sprue/battle force they don't make anymore.

It came with combat shields, too- they don't look the same.

>> No.14461733

>>14461712
What are you talking about, citizen?

Is this some kind of foul warp ritual that involves the allegoric annihilation of miniature effigies of the Imperium's Warriors?

>> No.14461867

>>14461733

AHHH,

>> No.14461925

resuming heretical activity

Inb4 delicious shiny metal

>> No.14461968

in during delicious shiny metal

>> No.14462043

Yeah, I know what you're talking 'bout bro. Us 'nids got a bad rep with ladies, ya know? They think we only like them for their bodies just because we eat biomass an' shit. Women, man I just can't understand them sometimes

>> No.14462148

>>14461617
I'm aware of that, I just want to be able to say "u mad, taufag?" every time I play a tau army with my Necrons.

>> No.14462242

>>14461616
Midori Blams? Sigh... why must they ruin everything?

>> No.14462253

>he still uses warpmale

I've got a high speed astropathic relay. u jelly?

>> No.14462264

Former Bad Moonz Warboss lookin for grechin' servents.
Must be clean, must be shooty (not so much choppy), time wif a mekboy is a plus. NO GITZ! Dere is no mukkin about in dis clan. When you join us, you join a fa-famu-famuley, and i'm da biggest, so you'ze gotta listen to me.

>> No.14462297

>>14462242

Hey that series was hilarious! I think they did the "bolter cleaning" bit too much though, we get it, it's a masturbation joke, enough already!

>> No.14462437

Noble sister of the Adeptus Sororitas seeking untainted servant of the emperor to assist in checking for boils, birthmarks, and/or other signs of genetic impurity in my subordinate squad.

Assistant inspectors must be polite, clean, and pure in the eyes of the Emperor, service with the Adeptus Astartes* a plus.

As we are a full squad of battle sisters (myself and 19 subordinates) we cannot fit in a transport, and will serve as host for all proceedings.

*Grey Knights need not apply.

>> No.14462620 [DELETED] 

>>14462437
Need assistance, fellow Sister?

>> No.14462670

I shall also assist!

>> No.14462723

What the fluggity...wha!?

CEASE THINE BULLSHITTARY!

>> No.14462819

Thousand Sons Sorcerer looking for a fellow servant of Tzeentch for maniacal plotting and long walks on the beach.

Likes: Plotting, scheming, obliterating the servants of the False Emperor with my mind, commanding my Rubric brethren, plotting.

Dislikes: Mindless Khornates, dull Nurglites, hedonistic Slaaneshis.

>> No.14463049

>>14462437
>>Username: Ikillu

Holy Terra guys. The sisters of battle are all getting together, getting naked, and just TOUCHING EACHOTHER. Jesus this armor is not good to pop a boner in.

FML.

>> No.14463225 [DELETED] 

>>14463049
Errr. . Um. .
>>14462437
Is this true, Sister? Or is male rabbling on about his fantasies?

>> No.14463362

>>14463049
>Jesus this armor is not good to pop a boner in.

See, this is why I feel sorry for Space Wolves, I mean they're expected to be the feral barbarian stereotype like their primarch did, but how the hell are they supposed to ravish anyone with power armour on? It's not like they could get the damn thing off with any kind of speed without the AdMech (or machine spirits for that matter) having a hissy fit.

Now that I think about it though, I would watch a TV series about a Space Wolf and the machine spirit of his power armour, if the machine spirit was snarky and sarcastic.

>> No.14463499

>>14462819

>Dislikes: hedonistic Slaaneshis.

Virgin detected! stay beta 1k sons

>> No.14463612

I'M TAU
SON OF A BITCH IMPERIUM
IMPERIUM IS PIG
DO YOU WANT A CRUSADE?
DO YOU WANT A WAR?
IMPERIUM IS PIG DISGUSTING
THE EMPEROR OF MANKIND IS A MURDERER
FUCKING IMPERIUM

>> No.14464105

Silly Tau, you shall soon feel the might of the Imperium.

>> No.14464182

>>14463612
So does a Disk like go into your face or something?

>>
Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.
Captcha
Action