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14332793 No.14332793 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Greentext Rogue Trader stories GO!

A friend's Rogue Trader character, a sharpshooter sniper named Mr. Radcliffe, convinced my ork to stand still with a box on his head.

> Sharpshooter runs down a hall and draws his gun.
> My ork sees this.
> Ork draws his shoota.
> "Hm." Mr. Radcliffe hums, "It seems we're at a standoff."
> "If yew even fink about shootin' me, I'mma come over dere an krump you 'arder dan a grot under a stompa's foot."
> "I wasn't going to shoot you, Ork. I was going to shoot the target off your head."
> Ork thinks about this for a second.
> I allow Sharpshooter's player to roll a fellowship test to convince me that he won't hit me.
> "I'm a very good shot, Ork. You've seen me."
> I have, actually. He is good.
> He convinces me. "Awroight, but if yew miss... I swar by Gork I will 'ave yer head on a pointy stik. Oy don't 'ave a pointy stik yet but I kin find one eazy."
> Sharpshooter fires. The dice hit the table. His ballistic skill is 57.
> He rolls a 94.
> DM looks at me, "The bullet hits you in the face." * DM Rolls for damage...* "... God damnit, no damage to the ork."
> MFW I glare at Sharpshooter's player and suddenly launch into this huge tirade of orky insults.
> I still can't remember half of them.
> Ork starts chasing Sharpshooter all over the ship and continue screaming orky insults.
> "What's your run speed, anon?" Sharpshooter's player asks me.
> 24.
> His is also 24.
> Since we can neither outrun nor overtake one another, DM starts playing Benny Hill music.

And before you ask, yeah. My ork has a name, but none of the players have bothered to ask, so they all just call me Ork.

>> No.14332859
File: 25 KB, 216x282, WOT_DA_ZOG.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Da zog, no one plays Rogue trader here?

>> No.14332891


I do, but I just woke up from a rather wonderful nap, and don't feel like greentexting the most recent session, when my group went to the Black Library.

>> No.14332924
File: 23 KB, 296x296, FONZ.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

To be honest it's kinda late and /tg/ is a slow board. Don't worry, we ARE reading and PROCESING your post, and it'll get answered.
Just...lemme have a few hours of sleep first, i'm bloody tired
Also, >Genuinely cool story bro.

>> No.14332931

I am kinda jealous of the adventures of your group in Commoragh. Did the Rogue Trader die in the meantime actually?

>> No.14332964

And I also confirm that the OP story is indeed very nice

>> No.14332965

That's hilarious, OP. What happened after that?

>> No.14332968


>> No.14332975
File: 36 KB, 150x219, .....png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Then don't green text it.

Oy, da fonz. Wot yew doin' 'ere.

If dis doesn't pick up, I'll try again tomorra.


... Wait. The black library. Da frag?

>> No.14332989

>Ag is 24 for both
...Wow. I can understand the Ork making it his dump stat since he's tough and can eat wounds like nobody's business, but why's the sniper character so slow?

>> No.14333004
File: 26 KB, 400x450, ObamaSmug.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Setting the stage.

My character, a missionary. Our RT is currently suffering from some IP fallout and has a very short temper.

>Self-important doorkeeper won't allow us access to the local underhive gang boss.
>No one gets in to see the great Oz, not nobody not no how!
>RT: "That's it, I'm gonna shoot this upstart bastard in the face!
>Me: Hold a second, Lord Captain.
>Me: GM, I knock on the door again.
>GM: The peepslide opens, he's looking at you with the same sense of disdain.
>Me: Won't you please reconsider, sir, for the good of your soul?
>Guard: "No body gets in to see th..."
>Me: I poke the discharge tip of my power maul into his face. It's on low setting so it's essentially a shock prod.
>GM: ...okay, roll it
>Rollan, success!
>Door guard folds like the Flash on laundry day.
>RT and retinue: "Dammit, now we're going to have to fight our way in there!"
>Me: *to new guard looking through grating* "You! What was that one's name?"
>Him: "Ummm...Whill"
>Me: Will you allow us entry to continue upon our holy work, or shall we discourse somewhat more on the follies of William the foolhardy? *shock prod crackles*
>Guard: "Go right ahead sir."


>> No.14333080

Well, if someone sees the sniper, he already failed.

>... Wait. The black library. Da frag?
See also >>14332931 The Rogue Trader promised a Dark Eldar a favour, to be stated by the Dark Eldar at any moment he wants. Not that ANYTHING could go awry here. As the RT ship was fleeing from half a galaxy once again, they met the DE again, and he offered to them to take them to a safe place to fulfil the promised favour. Well, it came out the safe place was Commoragh and the favour was killing most of the enemies of the DE. Hilarity supposedly ensued.

>> No.14333081
File: 45 KB, 269x175, wat.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Yew stupid git, da sharpshoota asked me fer me run speed, not me AG stat.


After dat? Err... well.

>Three days later, Ork is still chasing the sharpshooter around the ship.
> They both stop to take a break because we're tired of running around and not getting anywhere.
> So we decide to sit down together for lunch.
> We both have tea with our lunch. He has meatloaf.
> I eat a squig sandwich that was in me pocket.

Dat wuz it really. Oy 'ad ta stay on da krooza cuz da kapin' was goin ta a forge world an dey didn't want me along.

I unnerstan' 'avin an ork in yer krew kin be a bit too much fer some 'umies, hurhur.

>> No.14333133
File: 111 KB, 647x599, Pursuits, mothafuckas.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


That's not actually how it works. Here's a friendly abstraction of the chase rules.

Basically, you can still catch and/or escape from someone with equal speed. You just need to make some tests.

>> No.14333140
File: 6 KB, 184x193, 1218767118469.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This is a DH game that's eventually going into RT territory, but I am kind of enjoying this.
>>players, after having been set up several times, start getting serious about being investigators. they actually do a halfway decent job.
>>make several important connections and manage to convince their inquisitor that they are not just fucking around and have a solid link on this tyrant star bullshit.
>>mfw they still haven't realized that their crucial friendly rogue trader ally's name is an anagram for 'haarlock'.

>> No.14333204

Please tell me his name is Kcolraah, please!

>> No.14333226
File: 96 KB, 295x317, grin.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

We didn't really care. We knew, but it was funnier if we did it through pure narration rather than rolling.

Also, Benny Hill, yew git.


Err. actually wait, dere was a bit more.

> As we're eating, Ork looks over to the sharpshooter, "Wot were we runnin around fer again? Oy ferget."
> Mr. Radcliffe looks anxious for a moment, "Err... We were chasing your pet squig."
> "No. No, oy wuz chasin' yew cuz yew shot me in da face, YA ONE EYED GIT."
> Mr. Radcliffe immediately stands to start running away.
> "Ahh sit yer arse down. Oy dun give arf a frag about it anymore."
> We eat again. A minute of awkward silence.
> "Yew know." Oy sez as oy chew me squig sammich, "Oy get ta tell yew from 'ere on out dat yew shoot like an ork. An I know yew 'umies, wot wif yer fancy dakka an fings moight take dat fer an insult..."
> Sharpshooter's player looks at me, he is clearly insulted, I continue with a grin.
> MFW I say, "But we kin fix dat wif moar dakka on yer shoota an yewd be shooty proper, eh? Hur hur!"
> Our Rogue Trader says, "You have been simultaneously insulted and complimented by an ork! Haha!"
> Sharpshooter's player is confused, "...I have. I... I don't... know how to react to that."

>> No.14333241


Yes, the Rogue Trader died in the black library, and had to burn his last fate.

He met Force Weapon from a Chaos Sorceror who teleported in.

That sorceror was just as confused as the rest of the party. He didn't even want to be there. He was just trying to go to Chaos Wal-mart for food for the annual Eye of Terror Barbecue. A complete accident.

Overall, the Rogue Trader still does not realize charging is dangerous, because they get their multiple attacks, and the charger doesn't.

That said, regarding multiple attacks, does a staff count as one weapon or two weapons in close combat?

>> No.14333298

Cool, so the idiot probably dies next time.

And regarding the staff: I think it counts as one weapon, but I don't know a lot about the rules.

>> No.14333321

An intriguing variant to try would be a "rags-to-riches" Rogue Trader campaign. That is, the players start out with a crew of poor craftsmanship servitors and a transport that is so bare and ruined that it should have gone to the wrecking heap, but was given to them instead as a "gift". The Lord-Captain (if you can call him that without smirking) is a piss-broke bottom-of-the-heap nobody who won the Warrant in a bet from an aging failed Rogue Trader with no ship.

The players start at Dark Heresy level (dreg, conscript, archivist, initiate, and other humble roles) and must use their limited resources to build up a lasting dynasty of their own.

>> No.14333329
File: 44 KB, 320x435, Troll Trader.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


He pulled rank to get an Eldar Force Shield that was gifted to the group as thanks for the Harlequins. Now he thinks he's invincible.

>mon visage quand Warscythes next session

That said, I could put up the full stories from when they were in Commorragh and the Black Library, but there will be a fair bit of wait between Black Library story updates.

>> No.14333335


My group started with nothing but an Arvus Lighter, and stole a ship from an Inquisitorial station first session. Thus starting the tantrum spiral.

>> No.14333359

I would be very happy to hear the Commoragh stories. And what happened afterwards, too, if you don't mind.

>> No.14333388


Very well. Momentarily.

>> No.14333423

I am waiting eagerly.

>> No.14333425
File: 267 KB, 724x970, Dark Eldar Kabal I am Disappoint.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

When we last left our merry band of failures, they were just stepping onto the fortress of Khodexus, the Dark Eldar Archon the Rogue Trader made a deal with. For those not in the know, the Rogue Trader made a deal months ago - a good quality Agonizer for a future condition-free favor. That favor led them here. Archon Khodexus turns to the party (Rogue Trader, Arch Militant, Voidmaster, Seneschal, and Explorator) and the two NPCs (Korst'la the Tau Commander and Jamal the Techmarine), and explains that quarters have been prepared for them. They would be briefed the following day.

>> No.14333435

i remember you mentioning that before Shas'o.

any other interesting developments since you last filled us in on the general happenings? i remember the party were still failing their checks to realize the juggernaut was a warp beast but they had sort of caught on that it wasn't natural

>> No.14333440
File: 18 KB, 444x361, Beavis and Butthead do Horror.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

That night, the Voidmaster's paranoia goes off. She wakes up to two pairs of glowing green eyes staring at her.
"Hurr hurr...you're hot."
She immediately screams, and grabs her melta gun.
"Huh huh, huh huh, great job dipshit, you woke her up."
"Wait, is that bad?"
Voidmaster fires her meltagun, and misses.
"We were supposed to kill her while she was asleep, asshole."
"But she's awake now. Hurr, hurr, what do we do now, jackass?"
Voidmaster fires her meltagun, and misses.
"Huh huh, huh huh, I don't know."
"Hurr hurr, let's go to the Wych Middens. Maybe we can score."
Voidmaster fires her meltagun, and misses.
"Huh huh, huh huh, score."
The eyes fade into the inky blackness. Voidmaster is left afraid to go back to sleep.

>> No.14333452
File: 681 KB, 916x740, Dark Eldar.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


They now realize it is a full Juggernaut of Khorne. The Seneschal even rides it. He feeds it Grox Jerky.
The following day, they are escorted to Khodexus's office by a team of Incubi. Khodexus turns to face the two teams.
"You're all here to help me with a thorn in my side. My Kabal has been engaged against the nearby Kabals for many reasons. Our rivalry goes back millenia. It ends now. You all are going to be the strike teams to take down the Archons of the Kabals who have now allied against me. The full force of my Kabal will be deployed on this operation. I have a lot vested in this. If you all fail, death will be far too boring. You have full access to my Fortress, though I cannot guarantee your safety if you go outside." Khodexus smiles.
"You're coming with us, right?" demanded the Rogue Trader.
Khodexus smirks. "That's the question, isn't it? You are free to go about your business. Korst'la, Jamal, stay here."

The party heads to their quarters again, predictably covered in spikes. At this point, nothing much happens to the Voidmaster (since I don't pick on my players), nor the Arch Militant (he decided to chill in his room). The Rogue Trader was going to risk the outside to find the Merchant, but the Voidmaster (who read the Dark Eldar codex) was deathly afraid. He decided not to. He went back to Khodexus when he was in a meeting with his advisers.

"Hey, mon. You got any place to train?"
"Ugh. The Halls of Blood can be found four levels up, and the Wych Arenas are just outside."
"No no no, I mean non-lethal."

I lost it. I started laughing. The other players started laughing. While laughing, I stated Khodexus and damn near the entire fortress started laughing.

"Fine. It's not fair." The Rogue Trader said.
"Welcome to Commorragh." replied the Archon.

>> No.14333460


>> No.14333470
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The Seneschal decides to find a bar. After barely making inquiry, where he was berated by a Kabalite Warrior, he finds a bar. Heading in, he orders some Midnight Hobo. The barkeep, a rather gruff looking Dark Eldar, is not too enthused to serve a human, but follows the wishes of his Archon for now. He asks if the Harlequins are coming soon (you see, he medically desires a flip belt). The barkeep states that in another week they will be around to perform the Fall. Seneschal is not too enthused about waiting, and so goes to order a second drink. A voice yells, "Make that two." Korst'la pulls up a seat next to the Seneschal.

"You know, I never thought I'd end up here." Korst'la says.
"Likewise. Our captain has a strange way of making deals." responds the Seneschal.
"Your drinks are ready." the bartender notes. "You want the house special?"
"Sure, why not." the seneschal says.

The bartender pours some strange purple stuff into the drinks. The Seneschal and the Tau both drink up. The concoction has a distinctive taste, light and airy yet filled with excitement of the future.
"Nice stuff." compliments the Seneschal.
"We just got it in. One of the Dracons brought a unique prize to the haemonculi. They made sure to squeeze every bit of essence out of her."

At this point, the seneschal's eyes go wide.
>You see, months ago, he gave a captured Farseer to a Dracon on the condition that they would not hurt her. The Dracon gave his word that neither him, his Archon, nor anyone present at that moment would hurt her. He kept his word, you know.
"Love it. I'll have another!" says the Tau.
"...me too." Says the seneschal.

>> No.14333485
File: 16 KB, 287x416, Bubba.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Mandrakes. Everyone's problem.
The Explorator pipes in. He wants to visit the CLOSEST bar. So I say okay, he surprisingly makes his Inquiry, and finds a bar. He asks what it's called.



He walks in, and he asks what the bar looks like. I tell him there's a counter, a number of Dark Eldar dancing, and a barkeep in rather curious looking clothes. He asks me to elaborate on curious. "Colorful," I reply. At this point, the explorator has a nagging suspicion.

"Da, I would like drink, comrade."
"Sure thing, big boy! What can I get ya?"

>"Oh god, you found the gay bar!" yells the Arch-Militant!"

"Er...da, let me get strongest thing you got."
"No problem! We don't get many like you around!"
"I'm sure..."
"Fabulous! Your drink is ready! Enjoy!"
"Da...I think I will be leaving..."
"Aww, you sure you won't stay a while?"
"Da...I'm sure."
At this point, he sees a large hand covered in tattoos grab his ass.
The explorator goes pale. He knows that voice. OPPOSED STRENGTH! OPPOSED STRENGTH! he starts yelling as he rolls 10 degrees of success. Unfortunately for him, Bubba got 11. Bubba begins carrying him to a back room.
"Oh my! Leave some for the rest of us!"
The explorator is shitscared now. Luminen shock! He rolls 2 damage.
The last thing the bar heard was the explorator crying and a loud voice yell, "PREPARE YOUR ANUS" as Bubba closed the door.
The explorator walks out a few hours later, ass sore and bow-legged. He walks to the door.
"You come back now! Have fun!"

>> No.14333501
File: 10 KB, 303x305, MINE.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The following morning, the Seneschal wakes up with a rockin' hangover. He then struggles to inquiry to find a Dark Eldar pharmacy. He eventually does find one, and buys a shitton of coffee.

The cashier says, "Wanna know what will really help?"
The seneschal replies, "I'm listening."
The cashier takes out a small blade, cuts his wrist, and lets some of what comes out go into the coffee.
"Try it now." snickers the cashier.

About 12 hours later, when the colors finally subsided, the seneschal awakens to the sky.

This is bad.

Then a head pops out. A vaguely birdlike head. Followed by another.


The seneschal starts backing away as the Scourge aeries begin gathering.


The seneschal breaks into a full run.

"Mine? Mine? Mine? Mine? Mine?"

The seneschal runs down the side of the fortress, Scourges at his tail, escaping only due to a nearby window and a godlike concealment.

He finally decides he's had enough, and heads back to his quarters.

>> No.14333520
File: 70 KB, 499x360, kfc tortures chickens.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The following "day," an Incubi team heads to their quarters to collect the party. Apparently, Khodexus has something he wishes the players to see. The players ask where.

"Oh, just past the Soul Cages. It's waiting in the Haemonculus labs."
"I'm scared." says the Seneschal.
Passing the Foundries, delving deeper into the catacombs of the Fortress, they pass the Soul Cages and head into the Haemonculus labs. The halls echo with screaming, and the walls bled deep.
Entering the a small hallway, the air became thick with the smell of soul essence.
Entering a small room, the players see Khodexus standing over a guy in a chair.
"Who's this?" Asked the Seneschal.
"He worked for Farotek and Draze..." hissed a new voice.
"Indeed. This is Haemonculus Kastoram - he will be assisting in this interrogation. I have asked everything I need to know. Farotek struck at me as well, so I offer the opportunity for your own answers."

>> No.14333526
File: 43 KB, 295x186, bloody mess.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The players begin questioning the guy.
"What did you do for Farotek and Draze?"
"I was just a voidman. Draze was searching for crew. But he selected only certain people. People nobody liked for no reason."
"How did Farotek ally with Draze?"
"Draze was smart. He knew when to cash in. When Farotek found him, he suggested an alliance. No doubt both parties were going to batray the other."
"Why didn't they?"
"Farotek found something. He claimed to be visited by a golden vision of the Omnissiah. It said to go far beyond the border stars of the galaxy."
"But nothing comes back from there."
"Farotek and Draze did. They found something there. That...thing..."
>At this point the Haemonculus jams a tool into his neck.
"What is that thing?"
"They called it the Aeonic Forge. Farotek was ecstatic. 'The Omnissiah had led him to this glorious Gift of the Dragon,' he said."
"And what did he do?"
"He started messing with the crew. They walked in, they came out changed."
>At this point the Haemonculus jams a different tool into his neck.
"What changes?"
"I...I don't know. But they were different. And then Farotek had his army and that Forge, and he began his purge of 'undesirables.'"
"I see. That is all."
"Haa...watch this." the Haemonculus states as he raises a small orb to the prisoner's head.
The Haemonculus smiles. Then raises his eyebrow in confusion. Then shifts to liquid rage. Every arm in his withered frame extended, blade in hand, and vivisected the prisoner. "HE HAS NO SOUL!" the haemonculus screamed. "NO SOUL!" The haemonculus angrily hovered away.

>> No.14333538
File: 484 KB, 490x570, Necron Fisherman.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Khodexus turns. "Well, that was interesting. Weapons of the Ancient Enemy and soulless soldiers."
"What do you mean ancient enemy?" Asked the Rogue Trader.
"Ancient enemy. Our...progenitors fought their progenitors."
"Then why are they still around?"
"They won."
"Masters of the Materium versus masters of the Warp. The solution to throw Warp at the problem did not turn out well."
"Why not?"
"I tire of this conversation. Few know this knowledge. Maybe you will learn it one day. Ready yourselves. for tomorrow you ride."

>> No.14333544
File: 498 KB, 1000x1300, Archon.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The following day, the familiar Incubi summon the players. They take them to the Forges. Khodexus stands ready in full regalia of office, and turns to face the players.

"I hope you are ready. Today we spill much blood."
"This is some favor you asked." states the Rogue Trader.
"This is some favor you agreed to." quips Khodexus.
"I agreed to this?" retorts the Rogue Trader.
"You always have a choice. The question becomes whether or not it has been made for you." notes Khodexus. "My men will make a frontal attack. You will be dropped off on the uppermost landing pad, to which you will beeline for the Archons. We will strike hard and fast. They will be caught by surprise. Jamal and Korst'la, you will support them from on high."

Jamal the techmarine walks out in his power armor with his thunder hammer (actually a lump of concrete attached to a rebar) and Korst'la waddles out in his refurbished Commander-class XV-9. The players climb onto Khodexus's Ravager, the two NPCs into a separate one, and all take off.

On approach, it begins raining. I call for Awareness. It's quite funny. In my games passing awareness means things you probably didn't want to see or hear. Two of the players fail - it's raining. Three pass - that's not water.
"Ah, the Blood Rains! Remnants of the victims of the Scourge Aeries! Truly, this raid is blessed!" Khodexus observes.

The players are treated to a formation of Voidraven bombers using their Implosion missiles to open a hole in the Fortress defenses. The Ravager drops the players off on a nearby balcony, then takes off.

>> No.14333562
File: 38 KB, 444x319, Wyches.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


The battle begins as the players are charged by a team of Wyches. It was during this battle I tested out a rather fascinating tool that calculates damage and armor for me.
>Okay, Rogue Trader, you take 3 wounds.
"HAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA. (He actually does this wierd-ass half laugh half breathing thing) NOTHING."
>That was after wounds and toughness taken into account.
His eyes go predictably wide and he mutters about how he's going to die.

The wyches are predictably hard to hit, with their dodges and agonizers. The players barely get through that fight. An implosion missile strikes the far wall, and the way is now open.

>> No.14333577
File: 364 KB, 493x702, Hug Time.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


As the players charge in, a number of wracks and Grotesques jump the walls. The players predictably charge in. The wracks absorb the early hits and die quickly. That was their point. It opened up the players to get charged from the Grotesques, who I gave breacher drills. The Techpriest with 17 armor on his body and 6 toughness was screaming after getting hit once. Midway through the fight with the grotesques, something bigger hopped over.


The pair of Talos hovered over the wall, but one got drawn away by XV-9 and Bolter fire, leaving one for the PCs. The Seneschal (now at 55 insanity up from 30) decides to charge it. He does a fair bit of damage before predictably dying and burning fate. The Talos does a fair bit of damage, with its stinger pods and chain flails ensuring it gets its attacks, but the players pull through and stop the Talos and Grotesques. By this time the second Talos crashes to the ground, and Korst'la and Jamal cover the flanks. Khodexus's ravager lands, lances the doors, and he disembarks.

"What are you waiting for? You take point.

>> No.14333595
File: 187 KB, 1000x728, Meanwhile in Commoragh.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>I've been waiting a while to use this song. I wrote Commorragh to Celldweller, specifically this song. But I digress.

The three Archons, their Haemonculus, and a quartet of Incubi stand ready. The battle opens up with the Haemonculus flashing a strange crystal. Luckily, the players make their toughness tests. They fight through the strange weapons, while the two parties whittle each other down.

I must say, the most hilarious part was what happened to the voidmaster. The haemonculus tosses a strange box at her feet. Immediately, a webway portal opens, and a mass of tentacles and pseudopods swarm out. They grapple the Voidmaster.

"What the hell is it doing to me?"
>Voidmaster, I could fully describe what it is doing, but I am confident neither you nor myself wish to hear a description like that at the gaming table.
"Oh god."
>Suffice it to say, you take 3 wounds.

The Archons were by far the hardest to take out. Fast, hard-hitting, and damn near impossible to hit. But try as they might, the PCs did take them down, Archon Khodexus backing them up with a blaster.

As the last Archon fell, the PCs suddenly hear a clanging getting louder. In run Korst'la and Jamal.

"We're helping! We're helping! We're helping! We're he-...oh."

>> No.14333601

You put Finding Nemo in Warhammer. FINDING NEMO. IN WARHAMMER.
What's the expression again? "I want to have your babies", was it?

>> No.14333608
File: 81 KB, 550x475, Dark Eldar Slave Park.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The Explorator grabs a blaster, the Arch-Militant grabs a klaive, and the Seneschal grabs the Haemonculus' destructor. I give them plenty of time to decide who wants what. I then announce that Khodexus takes out his own destructor, and atomizes everything so they can't grow back.

At this point the Rogue Trader announces he grabs a klaive.
>You can't. He atomized them all.
"I would have grabbed one when everyone else was grabbing one.
>You should have said that in the 5 minutes I gave everyone to loot souveniers instead of listening to music.
"That's not fair."
>Welcome to Commorragh.
He then turns to the Arch Militant.
"Give me the Klaive."
"No." The Arch Militant says.
"As your captain, I order you to give me the klaive!"
"Screw you, it's going on my wall of trophies!"

The Rogue Trader then sulks for the rest of the session.

"We're leaving." Khodexus announces, "I will debrief you when we get back to the Fortress."

And we ended it there, leaving the smoking tower of a rival Kabal in a customized Ravager.

>> No.14333623

I will now start typing out the fun times in the Black Library. But this will take a while.

>> No.14333650

Thank you! I always enjoy your storytiems, and today you are in particularly good shape.

>> No.14333687

After reading it all...please inform your players that they are fucking retarded for me. So very many idiotic moves...they are fucked...

>> No.14333692
File: 10 KB, 304x248, frog.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The players are escorted back to their rooms by the incubi. The Seneschal at this point has acquired a minor mental disorder we all have dubbed "Eduardo the Singing Penis."

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4HAjhtPZGDY comes from his pants when he's alone.

That said, he has been searching for Harlequins for a while now, as he wants their flip belt. Only one member of the party has a flip belt (The voidmaster, and she tricked me into giving it to her when I was half asleep). However, over the few days, he sees no harlequins. The Explorator turns his room into a brewery, and begins brewing meltawasser, three parts water to one part melta gel.

The Voidmaster just faces the door in her room. She hears sounds coming out of the vents.

"Okay ladies, my body is ready."
Ten minutes later...

The Voidmaster decides to walk out and investigate after an hour or so. Down the hall walks Korst'la, covered in bandages and using crutches.

"Totally worth it." He gurgles.
"Totally useless." She exclaims.

>> No.14333713

wow, how tough is an orc that he can totally shrug off a bullet to the face?

that said I am used to DH

>> No.14333725

Ork with a K. That's how he can shrug off a bullet to the face.

>> No.14333736

Toughness of 40-50 or higher, Unnatural Toughness x2, possibly an Iron Gob or other helmet.

>> No.14333751
File: 116 KB, 150x100, The Sphere.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The all too familiar Incubi appear at their doors.

"Khodexus wishes to see you."
The Seneschal runs up to him.
"Khodexus wishes to see you."
"Khodexus wishes to see you."

They pass through the halls. I call for one last WP test. Everyone fails.

"That's not Smuckers Jam..."

Passing through the Fortress, they begin taking paths to the upper levels. They pass through what appears to be Khodexus's trophy room. Among the things they see in stasis are:

>A pale severed head
>A glowing green crystal
>A gun that uses metal spikes as ammo
>A pulsing yellow-green sphere

Bonus points to those that can identify where they are from.

Finally, they reach Khodexus's office.

>> No.14333756

>It was during this battle I tested out a rather fascinating tool that calculates damage and armor for me.

Oh that sounds handy, care to share it?

>> No.14333772

Heavy Metal?

>> No.14333816
File: 56 KB, 323x480, mask.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Khodexus appears to be staring off into space, breathing heavily.

"I must...congratulate you...on a job...well done."
"Yeah, mon," replies the Rogue Trader.
"Of course...nobody...will ever know...you helped...Such is the...way of things."
"So what's next?" asks the Seneschal.
"The...next phase."
"What next phase?" inquires the Rogue Trader.
At this point, a head appears from under the desk. "Is it time yet?"
"No, no, no, girl. Not yet." Khodexus pushes her down.
"Was she a..." begins the Seneschal?
"Harlequin? Yes...one moment...there we go."
"Oh wow," states the Voidmaster.
"This Farotek has struck at our own holdings as well. I am thus extending you the courtesy we are extending to Korst'la and Jamal as well."
The Harlequin stands up. "You can call me Illiana. Khodexus and I used to..."
"Enough." He states.
"Anyway, he told us about a particular problem you were having. Something about the Ancient Enemy?"
"Farotek has Necron technology. We have no idea how he got it or how to fight it."
"Well, the Black Library has that information. But we can't just let anyone in. There are procedu-"

At this point the wall explodes.

>> No.14333858

>At this point the wall explodes

>GM = Tzeentch

>> No.14333880
File: 436 KB, 603x600, Fluffles 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


After Storytime.
A warp beast is tossed out, and then a flash of flesh and machine is upon it. Blood and warp essence is flung everywhere. Then it stops. Glowing eyes see the Seneschal. Fluffles grabs the warp beast, drops it at the Seneschal's feet, and begins panting.

"GOOD BOY!" says the seneschal as he feeds Fluffles some grox jerky.

Fluffles then starts vomiting. The first thing out is a skull.
"Uh oh." says the Explorator.
The skull's eyes glow blue, and then it hovers to the Voidmaster.
"It is good to see you again, my Princeps."
"Oh thank the God Emperor you're here!"
"Indeed. I destroyed many of the beings that were on the ship in your name, until your Technical Specialist Uzgob stated that 'the panzees was our boyz.' However, your Hall Monitor Fluffles felt it prudent to bring you ammunition and other vital supplies."

Fluffles vomits up a small pile of ammunition.

"We would have gotten here sooner, but when Hall Monitor Fluffles jumped from the Windu's Saber to Studio 69, he missed. We needed to let gravity take us."

"That's our Fluffles!" Exclaimed the Seneschal.

"Well! For one to master a Juggernaut of Khorne and not fall to chaos must take incredible will! It seems you may not need to take the tests after all!" said Illiana.

"Yeah, that." said the Seneschal.

"It needs to go. NOW." said Khodexus. Fluffles and Asterales Lux bumble off.

"Well, we're ready to go." said the Explorator.

>> No.14333973
File: 17 KB, 460x217, Craftworld.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

The party heads to the Dark Foundries, where there are a pair of Venoms waiting - one for the Party, and one for Korst'la, Khodexus, and Jamal. The party gets into one Venom, and they take off into a nearby webway gate.

Illiana turns to the party.

"Ready yourselves. Not many mon'keigh get to see this."

They pop out of the Webway, as a gigantic craftworld in the warp faces them."

"The Black Library. Depository of all knowledge in the universe."

They land the Venom, as they begin walking toward the front doors. Following Illiana, they pass by a line of beings.

>You pass by a number of beings, some Eldar, some Harlequin, even the occasional Inquisitor-
"INQUISITORS? GUYS, WE NEED TO LEAVE." screams the Rogue Trader.
"Stop being a pussy. This place has what we need. Besides, we're guests. They can't touch us."

They enter the lobby, and at this point Illiana leaves them.

"I can only offer you one more bit of advice."
"Yes?" asks the voidmaster.
"Look only for what you need, and take only what you can hold in your mind."
"Okay..." says the Seneschal, "You guys look for the knowledge, I'm not leaving this place without a flip belt."

>> No.14333974

>Building ship when we start game.
>GM says anything goes, don't worry about ship points, just keep it within about ~5 over Power and Space.
>Sword-class Frigate, teleportarium, shittons of archaeotech, etc.
>First space combat, 5 Wolfpack Raider equivalents and another Sword-class as we free ourselves from the Warp
>Enemy Rogue Trader talks the talk
>Proceed to rape 4/5 of his Raiders within the first few turns, two hulked, one astropath-less, the other powerless
>Roll 01 on a Command to stand down, accompanied by the most serious and grim tone I can muster, "lest we sent you screaming into the Warp without the sanctity of your Gellar Field."
>brix are shat, he surrenders a fuckton of cargo to us
>like 10-20 sessions later

>> No.14333981

I would like to know how you tamed a Juggernaught of Khorne, and did your ignorance of it's true nature hinder or help the process.

>> No.14334020

Well, there's quite a bit of fluff-rape, but it seems fun, so meh.

>> No.14334047
File: 103 KB, 750x600, Eldar Taste the Rainbow.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Well, the second session, they found it in their ship as a baby, and as they slaughtered and killed their way through the campaign, it..."grew up." It bonded to the Seneschal because he fed it grox jerky.
The seneschal goes to look for the higher-ups, the High Avatars. He finally finds a door with a set of stairs flanked by a pair of Shadowseers. He tries to go up, but they block his way.

"I really need to see your boss."
"We know why you're here."
"Then you know what I want."
At this point, I call for opposed WP. He fails.
>You feel a sudden sense of calm overtake you.
"We know that in time you will find what you seek."
"Ah. Okay. Good to know."

He then runs off to find the rest of the party.

>> No.14334097

Damn it, I want him to have one, now.

>> No.14334100
File: 48 KB, 640x337, jack_sparrow_03[1].jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Smuggling contraband across warzones, banking off of a world rebelling against the Imperium
>Stocked full of antiaircraft and tank munitions that the losing side bought, but decided to take them to the Imperium because they just contacted us mid-run and paid us double to have them
>"Oh shit... hey skip, that transmission was intercepted..."
>Incoming comms: "You slimy traitorous curs, we trusted you... power down your shields and defenses, you are being boarded. Fail to comply and be destroyed."
>The rebels ambushed us with a warship we can't hope to outgun or outrun
>they pull right along side us to attach docking ports and board us
>Lock down every blast door, disable our engines and guns, and instruct everyone to don zero-atmo suits and meet up on the outter hull of the ship. Servitors meet us outside.
>The enemy vessel's crew fully unload into ours, hoping to rape the bastards who double crossed them.
>Float across the void from one ship to another, while they're busy trying to cut through all the doors
>Easily take the bridge and remaining skeleton crew
>Open comms
>"Thank you, Captain, for the lovely ship. Oh, I shant be needing your munitions anymore. I'd like to return them, no harm no foul."
>Close comms
>Remote detonate munition stores as we blast away from the rebels
>Receive Imperial commendation and big ass medal for helping put down the rebellion
>Sell the medal at our next port and use money for a back alley blowjob

>> No.14334101
File: 583 KB, 853x480, Library.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I usually have tried to keep to the fluff as close as possible outside of the obvious jokes, but to get to the Black Library, inevitably something had to bend.

The Black Library has everything. Every piece of knowledge ever to exist. Its books stretch endlessly into the darkness, and its shelves reach the roof.

The Explorator looks for information on the Void Dragon.
The Rogue Trader looks for information on the Aeonic Forge.
The Voidmaster looks for information on Necron Warriors and Leadership.
The Seneschal looks for information on the "War in Heaven."

Only the Voidmaster makes WP. The rest, well..."What an interesting book! What's in the next one?"

12 in game hours later, the Voidmaster is struggling to get everyone together. Everyone learns exactly what they searched for. Much insanity was made, despite the whining of the Rogue Trader.

She finally gets everyone together. She notes that it's been 12 hours, and that maybe it's time to head to the Black Library Food Court.

At that point, lightning fills the air and smoke spreads on the floor.

>> No.14334134

So wait, two PCs got raped?

>> No.14334175

That is something I've always wondered. Half the time, it seems every inquisitor and their brother has a library card with the Black Library, you'd think the Mechanicus would be scouring the galaxy for the Black Library's STC section.

>> No.14334180
File: 1.29 MB, 1350x1148, Champion Tzeentch.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

"Okay, you know what to do. You get the fresh produce, you get the meat products, I'll get the ethnic fo-"
"This isn't Walmart."
"No, mon." states the Rogue Trader.
"...wow, this is awkward.
"Yeah, mon."
"Uh...woa, um...FOR THE CHANGER OF WAYS!"

At this point initiative was rolled.

Voidmaster, Rogue Trader, Seneschal, and Explorator vs. a pair of Chaos Mehreens, A Sorceror Mehreen, an Obliterator, and a Magnitude 20 Horde of Guys.

Rogue Trader charges, gets smacked by Force Weapon, dies, burns fate, goes to sleep on my couch. Seneschal gets hit by Bolt of Change, I roll a 2, end up doing almost no damage. Explorator takes 5 rounds to cleave through the horde of guys while they left the Voidmaster to deal with the Obliterator.

After the fight, which is probably their toughest yet, the Seneschal punches out the sorceror with his Power Klaw.

"I was just...trying to get to a barbecue..." gurgles the Sorceror.
"Well you should have asked for directions!" yells the Seneschal.

At this point, they see Korst'la being chased by a different horde of guys while the horde of guys is being chased by Jamal. Seneschal begins chasing Jamal, Explorator begins chasing Seneschal.


>> No.14334189

Are the rest of these stories from Shas'o archived somewhere? I'm not finding them anywhere on sup/tg/ and really would like to get caught up to where we are.

>> No.14334196

theres nothing on the void dragon in the BL ive checked

>> No.14334238

Try Mechanicum.

>> No.14334291
File: 320 KB, 794x798, Techpriest merchant.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

When everyone finally gets together, the High Avatar is standing there, flanked by the pair of Shadowseers. One holds out a Flip Belt, the other an Eldar Force Shield. Seneschal gets the biggest smile on his face. As he goes to grab them, they hover away to the ceiling.

"I'm so sad right now." Seneschal says.
"Ha ha ha, even I need to have a laugh in a while." says the High Avatar. The Shadowseers hover back, and present the party with their gifts.
"Thank you for your service to our institution."
"Hey, you guys were right!" the Seneschal says to the Shadowseers.
They walk away.

They finally head to the Black Library Food Court. After a hearty dinner, Korst'la stands up.

"All right guys, I'm gonna try and score with the librarian. I'll be back."

The Party decides to go to the Black Library Gift Shop, where among the baubles, novelty T-shirts, and books, is the Merchant.

"Wait, how did you get here?"
"I get around, stranger."

The players cried tears of happiness that they could finally buy stuff.

At this point, the Rogue Trader announces that he's taking the Eldar Force Shield.
"No, we need to figure this out democratically."
"Then I'm pulling rank." says the Rogue Trader.
The rest of the crew is pretty upset now.
>Even though he technically can't pull rank because it was HIM who said he didn't want to use ranks.
>Wait until I remind him.

>> No.14334390
File: 225 KB, 800x800, Groove Tau.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

As the party leaves the Black Library, Khodexus approaches.

"Korst'la insisted I help you out."


At this point, their two ships pop out above the Black Library.

"Against my better judgement, his men, as well as mine, have restored your ships to full operating condition. Any crew you lost have been replaced from my own slave pens. I am fully confident they will acquiesce to your demands."
"Wow, thanks." Says the Voidmaster.
"You're going to need every advantage you can get when you go after Farotek. Our own ships are in drydock at the moment. You have his location and you have the knowledge you need to beat him. The rest is up to y-"

"OH AUN THE PAIN!" Korst'la yells as he runs out of the Black Library, wearing nothing but a towel. Following him are a pair of Harlequins, also wearing nothing but towels. The air is filled with razor wire.

"...Why does he do this..." as Khodexus walks off.

At this point we ended the session - the players are ready for their final standoff with Farotek, the guy hunting them for being criminals since the beginning of the game.

>> No.14334424


And as I promised, the Damage Calculator that I now use. You simply need your players' armor and toughness values, and then the rest is simply plug and chug. It makes combat go so much faster.

>> No.14334457
File: 74 KB, 266x274, Yoda what.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>this game

>> No.14334465

Shas'o R'myr
do you archive your stories?

>> No.14334482

>ueshatt stiemke
Damn captcha, get your mind out of the gutter

>> No.14334493
File: 294 KB, 1000x657, Titan Rockoff.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


No, I don't. I do, however, keep notepad files of the important ones, like when they got their Titan, their Starship, fought a Biotitan, had a rock-off against a Slaaneshi Subjugator, etc...

>> No.14334508


You ought to calculate up moveing the fcg to it's proper place on your saiga.

>> No.14334515
File: 44 KB, 444x544, Fuck son I'm high.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Shas'o's games are like watching Cirque De Soleil on PCP while strobe-covered ten thousand dollar a night hookers are doing flips in zero-gravity.

>> No.14334529


Few more months.

>> No.14334556


Works for DH and RT the same right?

>> No.14334565

>Boarding Dark Age of Technology Station that's just coming online.
>Suddenly a pair of attack drones Drones
>Archmilitant takes one down with a bow, the Ork Smashes one with a choppa.
>Return to trying to reach the core.
>Combat robot as big as a crisis Suit.
>Ork and Archmilitant take it down, the Archmilitant using a longsaber and the Ork his choppa again.

Our low-tech Arch-mil and Ork are currently unimpressbed by these supposeded 'Wonders of the Dark Age of Technology'

Though, managing a 3d10 tearing hit on a drone was probebly more than the GM expected from a bow, mono arrows or not.

>> No.14334566
File: 7 KB, 228x221, sadfrog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>my game will never be as awesome as this

>> No.14334569

This campaign rapes the canon so much, it makes me want to GM a game of Rogue Trader inspired by Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas, but I'd need a play who can do a good hunter thompson.

>> No.14334599
File: 482 KB, 467x457, Fidel Castro Smoking.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Should. As I said, all you need is your players' toughness and armor, and the program is self-explanatory.

Now comes an interesting conondrum. All of the players now are complaining about the Rogue Trader.

Seneschal: Rogue Trader whines because he's never been in a game where actions have consequences. He thinks you're picking on him. He felt you finally went easy on him this session, but I know the truth. You don't see him as a threat anymore. Make him cry.

Arch-Militant: Rogue Trader whines because he's overworked and can't reconcile work, four campaigns, and the fact that in Rogue Trader no matter how powerful you are, you can still die. It's getting annoying because he keeps comparing it to DnD.

Voidmaster: Rogue Trader is changing because of his girlfriend. He used to be a good roleplayer, now he just whines. He thought the game revolved around him, but but then he missed a few sessions, and when the group didn't fall apart without him, he gave up. Watch out for him.

Explorator: Rogue Trader is being a little bitch. I see Seneschal as my captain, and would support him if Rogue Trader went crazy. And now he's pulling rank. I'm going to kill him.

When I first read the portents for this game, I saw one person would endanger the group. I thought it would be Explorator, quite frankly, but it seems the trouble lies with Rogue Trader. I will be watching him closely over the next few sessions. There are only two left. I wonder if he will make it through the end.

>> No.14334627

note to self: introduce RT npc based on hunter thompson in next DH campaign.

>> No.14334632

In your honor I started a new map in minecraft with the seedgen "shas'o r'myr"
Most interesting map I've had yet. Gargantuan cavern open right behind me and caves everywhere. Highly recommend it.

>> No.14334658


So why do you keep him around?

>> No.14334694

You've talked to him about his playing before, right?
I love a good "Stupid shit the PCs do" story, but when stuff starts spilling OOC, that doesn't sound like a happy group.
Though if he "died" and had to burn a fate point, I'd imagine he'd need to spend some time in the medicae-bay? Maybe this would be a good time for him to start RP as a Rogue Trader, captain of a fleet, rather then a bezerker?

>> No.14334696
File: 207 KB, 1098x634, Lazy marine.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I want to play Minecraft. But Minecraft hates all 3 of my cards. It won't let me buy it.


Because in return for small amounts of XP for the group, he does menial tasks around my apartment, like cleaning the walls, washing the dishes, and patching up the hole I punched in the wall when I got angry.

However, it has always been my position that character conflict must be resolved between the players. I will mediate if it helps, but what the players do is not my concern.

>> No.14334715

Wait I thought in Rogue Trader you had to have one person playing the Rogue Trader class.

That's why my group hasn't touched it, no one really wants to play the Rogue Trader

>> No.14334723


>> No.14334728


Well, the group gets shit done, until he tries to take matters into his own hands. I've tried explaining to him stuff, but he just doesn't get it. He doesn't play 40k, he doesn't try to learn why he's dying so often (trends show he tends to die when he charges in), he just whines.

As I said, he can be a bit of a whiner. I suppose it all went downhill for him when he realized being Rogue Trader does not automatically make him Center of Attention, the rest of the group gets equal face time, and the rest of the group can survive without him. Combined with the other extenuating circumstances, he just kinda gave up.

>> No.14334733


Sotra. You generally have to but it's not absolutely essential.

Especially if you kill the guy off.

Sounds like there are heretical enough as it is, operating without a RT shouldn't be much of a step.

>> No.14334741


The book offers ways to get around not having a Rogue Trader. When I first wrote the campaign, there was no Rogue Trader, just a Seneschal, Ork, Arch Militant, and Explorator. The Ork dropped out, and the Rogue Trader and Voidmaster joined in.

>> No.14334743

That isn't necessarily true. Last game I played in, the GM just had the NPC RT off doing rogue-y and trade-y stuff while she sent the PCs on scouting/salvage/scamming/surveying missions.

>> No.14334770

Or with the right preservatives, you could Weekend at Bernie's your way through a campaign.

>> No.14334786


My group has actually suggested exactly that before.

>> No.14334807

You can also have someone be the nominal "Rogue Trader" without actually playing the class. The book covers the fact that any class (except Ork and Kroot obviously) can be the owner of the Warrant of Trade.

The Rogue Trader (as a class) is only there because it has all the skills necessary for running the ship at the macro level, and also being Jack Sparrow IN SPAAAAAAAACE.

TLDR: Anyone can be the "Rogue Trader". The class itself is not necessary.

>> No.14334820
File: 146 KB, 1014x2280, BEST WARBOSS EVER.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Unless the Ork Freeboota was the team's Warboss, or the Kroot the team's Shaper. I would allow those as a substitute RT in my games. Hell, that was the initial plan for my campaign.

>> No.14334849

> me and my kroot bro decide to become pirates
>decide to take over the breaking
> try and secure allies by raiding pirates, capture two ships with crews intact who pledge allegiance to us
>our charter is east Indian company in space requisition a guard regiment
>they're necromundans
>mfw rogue traders, pirates and gang scum are going to try and build an Empire


After this gonna try and get some kroot mercenaries

>> No.14334860

You don't have to have a player as the RT. You can have the GM fill in or have the warrant of trade shared by a council of pc's, there are plenty of alternatives.

>> No.14334868


You can't fix someone who just charges in and expects everything to fall around him because he's a PC.

He's playing RT with a DnD Mindset. Him dying is natural.

>> No.14334872

Shas'O, if I run my RT campaign but a quarter as hilariously as yours, I would consider it a success.

>> No.14334880

I love it. tell us more.

>> No.14334906


Some people may not like this, but I'll say it anyway because it's the truth, what I do.

My combats, especially against "boss" type enemies, tend to be very "vidya". There is often an easily exploitable weak point or pattern. My encounters are hard because they require thought. Sometimes it might be better to shoot, sometimes it might be better to punch. My combats are talked about for months after the fact. My players all realize this, and relish the challenge I provide over gunlines of guys or rushmobs of brutes.

All except the Rogue Trader, who whines when "charge" doesn't fix the problem.

>> No.14334946

Shas'o can you gift us a boon of these epic exploits in txt format? i would love to have these on hand to show my gaming groups what things could be like

>> No.14334950
File: 27 KB, 261x297, oh noes.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Wait, you use...tactics?


>> No.14334984
File: 91 KB, 434x361, Meta Ridley.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Maybe after the campaign. I expect it to end mid-April. And I'll be sure to talk about it. They'll be facing some interesting things...


The Seneschal shoots or charges when appropriate.
The Arch-Militant shoots or Rocket-jump charges when necessary.
The Voidmaster hides and shoots. She's often the quickest to notice weak spots or patterns.
The Explorator tanks like a boss.

But the Rogue Trader...no originality whatsoever.

>> No.14334987

>Freeboota as a Rogue Trader
Kaptin Katiklyzm.

>> No.14335081




>> No.14335088


That's about it we are about to attack the breakers and Fu k shit up. Were going to do it last session but I had the cold real bad.

I'm a voidmaster seeking to become legend of the expanse and basically preparing to become a space somalian

>> No.14335134
File: 48 KB, 239x290, Soldier.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Basically the Arch-Militant based his character around Soldier from TF2. So halfway through the campaign the Mekboy and the STC crafted him a set of "protekty plates." If he shoots a grenade at his feet, he essentially has AV20 on his boots. He rolls damage as normal. If he gets above this 20, he takes that damage. But he can fly equal to the damage dice.

For example, Arch-militant wishes to rocket jump. He fires a frag at his feet. He rolls an 8 and a 3. He can then move 8m or 3m, but the damage is 8+3+4 = 15 so he takes no damage.

Let's say he tries again. He gets an 8 and a 9. He can move 8m or 9m, but 8+9+4 = 21, so he takes 1 damage unmodded by further armor or toughness. It's quite hilarious.

>> No.14335159


holy fuck I want some protekty plates

>> No.14335267

Seneschal: Rogue Trader whines because he's never been in a game where actions have consequences. He thinks you're picking on him. He felt you finally went easy on him this session, but I know the truth. You don't see him as a threat anymore. Make him cry.

I like your seneschal.

>> No.14335272


DM of OP here.

This is the kind of thing that happens in my campaigns when I walk off to make tea.

>> No.14335296
File: 1.39 MB, 240x252, ohnoyoudidnt.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I'm GM
>party is meeting with an Ordo Xenos inquisitor to discuss the recent chaos activity in the expanse, specifically the chaos champion Karrad Vall
>Inquisitor comes on board, flanked by a rather intimidating pair of Deathwatch marines
>Rogue Trader and Arch-militant meet with Inquisitor in private room
>Meanwhile, in the ship's cathedral, the Missionary glances up at a statue of the God-Emperor of Mankind, and suddenly has an urge that he needs to be somewhere else
>Missionary enters ready room and immediately detects a demonic presence
>Inquisitor: Ah, yes, Missionary Hatoris. We've been expecting you.
>Arch-militant suddenly has violent hallucinations of fighting demons amongst the trenches of Krieg, his homeworld
>Rogue Trader clutches head, fighting off hellish visions and clawing at his mind
>Missionary finds himself amongst rolling green hills, staring at a roiling mass of blue and pink flesh, the sun shining hot and blindingly bright from over his right shoulder
>a voice echoes in his right ear
>Voice: This is a servant of the ruinous powers, the enemy of the Imperium of Mankind.
>the missionary feels a pressure on his right shoulder, looks over and sees a golden gauntlet resting here
>Voice: Purge them, in my name.
>vision ends, Missionary charges newly revealed Herald of Tzeentch, gets triple Righteous Fury and kills the demon in one hit
>mfw the climactic battle of the session is ended in one round

>> No.14335300
File: 5 KB, 119x120, Beaky.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

It's reading shit like this that saddens me so much. I wanna play an Ork with my RT friends, but that's too much heresy apparently... -sigh-

>> No.14335315

This is why you have some one set them up the bomb, for some emergency non-combat tension.

>> No.14335341


I considered some GM tomfoolery to extend the battle, but I have a personal rule when running the game; specifically, if something is cinematically awesome, I allow it.

In this case, I ruled that the Missionary had performed an Emperor-empowered purging, and simply moved onto the next encounter.

>> No.14335376

Yeah, I get you.
Still, I'm worried about the two sniper rifles in my cell ending everything too fast.
Dat Accurate errata man.

>> No.14335389


Then figure stuff out to make it interesting.

For example, make an enemy that wears some sort of armor plate, like a proto-Wardknight. Only the two snipers can pinpoint the bolts holding the armor plate on, and once they snipe that off, it reveals the enemy within for everyone else.

>> No.14335397


>Accurate errata

Fill me in here? I haven't heard of this, I think.

>> No.14335443

So what would I have to do to get you to run an online Deathwatch game at least vaguely like your RT game?

>> No.14335458


You'd need to wait for me to graduate university in a few months, then wait for me to get a job. Once I'm settled, then I was actually planning on running a Deathwatch game.

>> No.14335482
File: 79 KB, 463x462, MY BODY IS READY.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.14335487

Do remember this post. Months from now, I will say 'remember me?' and hope.

>> No.14335497

So will I.

>> No.14335499

Same GM as:

Since this seems the appropriate thread, I thought I'd tell the tale of my group's latest endeavour. It's a little over-the-top, but I figure that's the name of the game.

During a previous story arc, the explorers had come into possession of a mysterious red gem, just small enough to fit comfortably in the palm of a human hand. It had been found on the hulked vessel of a long-missing, and notoriously mad Rogue Trader. The captain's log referred to the gem as a "treasure map," but gave no clue as to how to read it.

The explorers were stumped until they showed it to a rather shady antiquities dealer on Footfall, who recognized it as nothing other than an Eldar spirit stone. Later on, they raided an Eldar maiden world, and, in the process, both royally pissed off the Biel'tan Craftworld, and incapacitated a number of wraith constructs, of which they kept one.

In the latest session, the explorers plugged the spirit stone into the wraith construct and communed, via Eldar hieroglyphics, with the soul inside. The Eldar entombed inside had been far along the road of the outcast when he died, and had, in his travels, learned the location of a warp gate which led to a long-dead, forgotten, and completely defenseless craftworld, ripe with ancient treasures. In return for providing the location, the rogue xenos required only the negotiation of his release to a local band of Eldar pirates, to whom he claimed to belong.

>> No.14335511
File: 19 KB, 250x291, Ahmadinejad thinks.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I'm actually not sure what I would do.

On the one hand, I could run a Deathwatch game.
On the other hand, I could run an all Ork Rogue Trader game, and you would be the DeffWotch.

Or I could combine the two and allow Spess Mehreens / Orks on the same party (nuffin a paper bag over da 'ead can't fix. Ded Kunnin').


>> No.14335542
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>> No.14335551
File: 334 KB, 576x800, 1298411562384.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

DeffWotch would be quite great
I would love to get in on that if it happened

>> No.14335559

Well, I've been dying to play an Emperor's Nightmare for a while now, but I don't think I'd be miserable coming up with an Ork.

How derpy would marines be in your Deathwatch?

>> No.14335570


Define derpy

>> No.14335575
File: 406 KB, 2288x849, 1211068199062.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Lured by the promise of boundless riches, the explorers delve deep into the expanse, to an unmapped system deep within the Alenic Depths. After avoiding nameless horrors and battling off waves of terrible xenos, the explorers finally make it to the system. An asteroid-filled area of space, dominated by a dead, almost lightless star, surrounded by a nebulous haze. A vague psychic signal is picked up by the astropaths, however, which gives away the location of a derelict Eldar cruiser, aboard which is, apparently, the warp gate.

Taking the Rogue Trader's personal Guncutter, as well as three Thunderhawks (looted from the late Inquisitor's vessel, see a few posts above) and several squads of Kriegers (the Arch Militant was in the DKoK prior to dynastic service), the explorers move into investigate.

In the core of the cruiser, the explorers find a series of warp gates, long inactive, arranged in vast open grotto deep within the xenos vessel. The Eldar outcast offers to activate the warp gate, as one last bit of service, to which the explorers agree. With the warp gate open, the small fleet moves into the unknown.

>> No.14335588

>my orks has a name, but none of the players bothered to ask and just call me Ork
I hope at one point they'll find out you have a name and all speak amongst themselves to the idea of "Orks have names?!"

>> No.14335592
File: 128 KB, 349x450, WarbossSam.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Shas'o, can I just leave my e-mail and have you let me know when/if Deff Wotch happens?

>> No.14335605

Well, given the nature of your games, some humor is 1: expected and 2: will be awesome, but it'd be nice to be able to play intelligent spacemans rather than PURGE KILL MAIM on to the next deployment.

...basically, I think I want to be able play Reasonable Marines.

>> No.14335607


Do whatever. If it happens, I'll be announcing it here first.

>> No.14335621
File: 10 KB, 318x391, 1297746252598.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Then I shall wait in anticipation

>> No.14335650


...my own custom Chapter is the Black Panthers.

It features such paragons of humanity as Augustus Brodysseus Cole (Assault Mehreen), Venerable Brother Fenix Koolaidius (Venerable Ironclad Dread), and Chapter Master Johnson. They are known for their exploits with civilians, who get MOTHERFUCKING BEFRIENDED.

Your spess mehreen (should I run Deathwatch or combined DeffWotch) would be whatever you bring to the table. If you want to KILL MAIM BURN, you can do that. If you want to make him super deep, you can do that. I don't tell my players how to run their dudes. In your example, a Reasonable Mehreen would be fine.

As long as you're not a whiner or an incompetent, you should be fine.

>> No.14335667

Sweet. Now I need to figure out what I'd do for deffwotch.

>> No.14335682

...Failing that, I just realized this reminds me of the NPC marines I cooked up for a game that unhappened. I could totally see Enginseer Forthwright, techmarine, professional troll, and worst Iron Hands ever getting thrown to DW to get him out of their bald.

>> No.14335687

shas'o, are you running this via IRC?

I've got dark heresy experience (was in a game with Wasteland Warrior), and I've love to get in on some DeffWotch.

[email protected]

>> No.14335712
File: 33 KB, 600x497, Black Templar Command Squad.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


We made an NPC named Brother Frink. He was a Black Templar. Basically, BT have that ability to force a group into cohesion. We mistook this as forcing into formation as well. Thus, no matter where Brother Frink was, if Squad Leader called for COHESION, Brother Frink would be pulled to the squad as if by fishing line. It did not matter if Frink was on the other side of the city, other side of the planet, other side of the solar system, he would be pulled into cohesion and take the straightest route possible toward the team.

Of course, this led to Brother Frink crashing through walls, diving through gas giants, and slamming through suns depending on where he was. Lots of pain.

But at least he was in cohesion now!

>> No.14335730

Forthwright trolls new recruits when fitting them into power armor ("uh oh." Whirrrr...), talks to/softly strokes his servo skull, and at one point autotuned his voxcaster.
There's actually a badass motherfucker in there somewhere, he just barely ever cares enough to act like it.

>> No.14335732
File: 224 KB, 504x504, 5353 World Eaters Escort_edit.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


On the other side of the warp gate, the explorers find themselves in an unimaginably vast and bountiful wraithbone construction which they can only assume to be a craftworld. Over the next few hours, they plunder a number of aspect shrines, the a serious portion of the craftworld armory, and - in a truly irreverent manner - steal a number of intricate and incredibly detailed wraithbone statues from the garden of crystal seers.

However, at this point, the wraith construct has (unknown to the explorers) activated the craftworld's communication systems and contacted it's foul xenos allies through the webway - in this case, the Biel'tan craftworld, which the explorers have managed to repeatedly cross over the decades. The Swordwind begins to pour into the abandoned craftworld in force through a newly activated warp gate, as the explorers watch.

At this point, aboard the Guncutter, within a few hundred feet of the freshly activated warp gate now spewing falcons, fire prisms, and wave serpents by the second, is the Arch Militant, the crew Explorator, and a representative leading a band of Kroot Mercenaries recently allied to the dynasty. In a flash, they devise a daring plan - equip the head Mercenary (played by one of our good friends who happened to be in town for the day) with a "dead man's switch," linked to a batch of several hundred demolition charges (which the explorers did indeed bring with them as a precaution), fly as close to the activated webway gate as possible, and then drop the kroot out the back hatch of the guncutter, on top of the gate, and hopefully destroy the device in one go.

>> No.14335738

can a servo skull be a rogue trader?

>> No.14335746

so, shas'o?

>> No.14335749

Ok, guys, what the hell does "gubbinz" mean? It's been driving my shit insane and I can't go on not knowing.

>> No.14335756

Before I go to sleep, a pair of questions:

1) The Charge action requires that only the last 4 meters be a straight line. This means my group and myself end up running loops, figure 8s, and all sorts of non-euclidean shapes to line up a charge. Is this legit, or are we doing it wrong?

2) What would happen if a Warscythe hits a power weapon? Would either break? Would the Warscythe cut through, or vice versa? Basically, who wins?

>> No.14335760

misc bits.

>> No.14335762


IRC assumably. Unknown. Deffwotch is sheerly conceptual at the moment. If there are better programs, I will find them.

>> No.14335768


Thank you.

>> No.14335771
File: 470 KB, 800x670, 1296452423805.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>mfw i wouldve tooken the soul stone out of the wraith construct along time ago

>> No.14335779

so, yeah, send me an email.
I really want to get back into DH/RT, and you seem to always have great stuff going on.
>[email protected]

>> No.14335781

can i put my name down>?

>> No.14335797

same for me.

even just as a backup would be cool, i haven't played any games in months because of study and the chance to do an IRC one would be perfect

>> No.14335799


>> No.14335805

I've got one.

>Playing a Sister of Battle who is decidedly on the SCOURGE AND PURGE end of militancy. Had a few decidedly lucky encounters through which I've escaped unscathed, leading the rest of the party to believe I'm blessed by the emperor/lucky as fuck, respectively.
>Ordered to retrieve an ancient, long-lost relic of the Ultramarines chapter, lots of boring fruitless hunting omitted.
>Find it on a world obscured by warp-storms, enshrined in a massive temple to some local war-deity.
>Armies of barbarian cultists assault us, covered in hideous tattoos and grotesque piercings, yowling and jabbering in a heathen tongue none of us recognize. We mow them down like chaff through the power of SUPERIOR IMPERIAL HARDWARE.
>We break into the main hall of the temple, and discover it is a shrine to the ruinous powers - blood sacrifices everywhere, flayed skins draped from the roof and screaming faces in tableaux on every wall.
>"Burn it. Burn it all."
>My Sister of battle is the first to breach the inner sanctum where the sword rests on a raised dais, impaled into the bedrock. It is surrounded by bloody glyphs daubed into circles around the dais. The sword, for its part, looks like a totally ordinary powersword.
>GM informs me that it looks like the glyphs were set up as wards to keep something in. I radio in to the psyker, who agrees that as the sword is a holy relic of the Ultramarines and this is a temple to Chaos, this is not too surprising.
>I step forwards and grasp the sword, GM has me roll willpower...
>I fail by 40.

Continued next post.

>> No.14335808


RAW the Non-Euclidean Charge works.

Warscythe wins. Living Metal > Power Field

>> No.14335814
File: 27 KB, 475x249, 903518_big.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I get blown backwards through the door, still holding the sword. The blasphemous cathedral is suddenly filled with cackling as bloodletter-esque daemons begin to tear themselves free of the walls.
>I cannot drop the sword.
>HUGE FUCKING FIGHT, with me being forced to engage in single combat with several of the monsters using the powersword.
>We win with no casualties, although the Psyker nearly blows his own brains out in terror.
>Someone points out that my character has miraculously manage to avoid taking a single point of damage, despite closing to melee with the warp-beasts in every fight. I tell them I can't seem to let go of the sword, and everyone is now worried - legends about the sword state that sucks the life of whoever uses it or something.
>My character hears a quiet whispering, a sussurus of sibilant, slightly discordant voices that inexplicably cause her to break out in a cold sweat. "Oh no, not you... We could never hurt YOU, Anarette."
>"Did anyone else hear that?"
>"Hear what?"
>My face.

So far, they've actually been quite helpful.

>> No.14335838
File: 120 KB, 1280x1024, BFG_-_Imperial_Vessels.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


The guncutter jets forth, avoiding essentially all incoming attacks (forgot to mention the insanely skilled void master was on board). The guncutter swoops around, the Kroot launch out the back and the ship jets away as fast as it possibly can.

Good thing, because the resulting blast is nearly a kilometer in diameter.

They explorers don't wait to see if the warp gate is destroyed. They get the fuck out of dodge, making straight for the active warp gate that leads back to their vessel, the cruiser, Mortis Est. The guncutter weaves back through the innards of the Eldar cruiser, and escapes just in time for the crew of the larger vessel to annihilate the xenos cruiser, and removing any chance for the Eldar to pursue them into real space.

However, a massive subspace fluctuation signals the real-space arrival of a vessel far too large to be of Imperial make. In fact, it's the entire Biel'tan Craftworld, compete with accompanying fleet of several hundred vessels, materializing from the webway to fuck the explorers into oblivion.

>> No.14335851


I see.

Well then. It'z go (ta sleep) time.

>> No.14335863
File: 684 KB, 1440x900, smiley.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>the entire Biel'tan Craftworld

>> No.14335980

Shas'o, You've gone to sleep by now, but whatever you decide to run, I know it will be awesome. If you've got the inclination, I'd love to join the game. If there's no room or you just don't want me in there, then I wish you best of luck, brother. I know that the game won't be for a while, but I yeah. And best of luck in your future endeavors.

>> No.14336009
File: 129 KB, 828x560, john_blanche_battlefleet_gothic.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


The Mortis Est is hailed, as a veritable haze of Eldar cruisers, frigates, and raiders swarm forth from the massive craftworld, which is so large it blots out the sun. (At this point, a fairly scientifically minded person in the group laughs uncontrollably, as he often does during our sessions.) The explorer's cruiser still has a good five minutes of calibration before a warp jump is possible. The void master brings up the viewscreen, revealing an extremely pissed-looking xenos. (The following conversation is paraphrased, it went pretty smoothly in-game.)

Eldar: I am Autarch [insert flowery elvish name I made up on the spot] of the Biel'tan craftworld.

RT: HELLO! I am ROGUE TRADER Gaius TIBERIUS Aurelius, commander of the Mortis Est! I, uh... HOW ARE YOU?

Eldar: You've committed what my people would consider... hmm... what would you filthy mon-keigh call it? GRAVE ROBBING.

RT: Oh! Oh dear. I hadn't realized.

Eldar: Give me one reason why I shouldn't give the command to annihilate you right now.

At this point, the Mortis Est is surrounded by a swarm of countless Eldar vessels, outnumbered a thousand to one. Everyone at the table stares at me, horrified (I've never cut my group slack when they get into deep shit), then looks to the player who is the Rogue Trader, now deep in thought. Then, he looks up, a wild look in his eye.

RT: Tell me... have you ever heard... of a dead man's switch?

>> No.14336071

Bracing for epic.

>> No.14336104
File: 530 KB, 773x1000, Lure_of_the_Expanse_Art_01_by_wraithdt.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


The Biel'tan Autarch looks at him, squinting incredulously.

Autarch: Enlighten me.

RT: Decimus.

The Arch-Militant, Watchmaster Decimus of Krieg, walks over, and hands the rogue trader a detonator.

RT: (presses the detonator switch, holding it down) I have just activated the atomics which we planted on the deserted craftworld. If you blow up our ship, those atomics will detonate, destroying anything we left behind - which, honestly, should be most of it, considering the meager fleet we took with us.

The RT's player rolls a Fellowship test (I forget the exact skill) vs. the Autarchs perception, and rolls a fantastic number of successes. The xenos' eyes widen, and he waves at someone offscreen.

Autach: Wait! ...I see. No... no need to be hasty.

The RT player looks me in the eye for a solid 30 seconds, stalling for time.

RT: Odius, now.

The void master, Odius, slams his hand on the big red button on the dashboard, activating the gellar field, and the ship slips into the warp, where the Eldar cannot follow.

>and thus, the players made off with several farseers that had turned into wraithbone, along with countless eldar artifacts and weapons, and passed into legend

>> No.14336130

>, and the ship slips into the warp, where the Eldar cannot follow.
They actually can (Hello Warp Spiders)…
But I mean, they'd be scrambling around and have to figure shit out, so the crew would still escape. Sets up a good recurring antagonist though.
Can't imagine anything good coming from some Farseer statues though.

>> No.14336138

Hell the fuck yes.
I wish my RT game was still going. We didn't get far enough to get ridiculously good stuff.
Though I'm still pretty sure our rogue trader was half-eldar.

>> No.14336169



1) The Eldar use the webway to get around. Warp Spiders could conceivably be used to get onto the players ship, but the warp itself is the most dangerous place possible for an Eldar, even with a gellar field.
2) It was late, and I figured the explorers would be able to pawn the statues off before any serious ill came of them.

This adventure was more of a one-shot than anything else - I had recently moved out of town, and had just been back visiting for a week. Thus, any loose ends were, by necessity, tied up.

Also, by this point in time, the Biel'tan already WERE recurring antagonists... I think the explorers had already defiled two maiden worlds, and repelled a couple eldar fleets.

>> No.14336183


>warp is the most dangerous place for an eldar, even with a gellar field

I should note that this is part of our in-game lore. The eldar, in our games, have been house-ruled to not be able to follow the players into the warp. I'm not sure if this is actual canon or not.

>> No.14336197
File: 496 KB, 600x424, a-thousand-sons-poster.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

How about deathwatch greentext story?
>Librarian Black Shield in deathwatch group.
>Disgraced in original chapter, removed all markings from armor, party doesn't know my original chapter
>On mining planet, investigating strange artifacts
>magically enter big stone structure, meet a bunch of ghostly people inside.
>attack them with my avenger ability.
>Avenger sends the spirits of my chapter's fallen to burn my enemies
>removes the sorcery on the ghosts
>they are actually thousand sons marines putting up an illusion.
>I'm a thousand sons marine that had been in stasis essentially since around the heresy until recently.
>I think that the thousand sons marines are my avenger attack, they point out that these are thousand sons marines, and I get ready to fight my party
>my avenger is pre heresy thousand sons marine spirits that burn post-heresy thousand sons marines.
>MFW party still has NO clue.

>> No.14336206

The Warp Spiders were just an example that Eldar can into the Warp. I think that the "official" stance is that they have the tech to do it safely, but since the Webway is both nigh-foolproof and a lot faster, they just do that.
Though it isn't really that big of a deal. At least your players had the sense to bolt.

>> No.14336250


Agreed. At that point, I had essentially put them in the session's "worst case scenario," from which I had never planned an escape. The RT just pulled that shit out of his ass and rolled superbly.

>> No.14336267

Sure their warp spiders can go through the warp with special tech, but I don't think they'd equip their capital ships -- or their CRAFTWORLD with fucking warp-tech. That's just a disaster waiting to happen.

>> No.14336288

So what mark of power armor do you use?

>> No.14336567

holeee shiiiit

>> No.14336683


Hey Shas, glad to know that someone out there other than myself enjoys Celldweller/Circle of Dust/Klayton.

Greatly enjoyed the DE run, can't wait for the finale... but I'm really hoping that someone kills the fuck out of the RT.

>> No.14337187

I know that you're gone for now, but will it be possible to follow the game just to see how things work?

>> No.14337439

Cut off the hand holding the sword. Get a new hand. One that won't betray you.

>> No.14337683

Magpie alert! Magpie alert! All hands on deck, this is not a drill!

>> No.14338471

this is bumped kk?

>> No.14338559

itt: awesome

>> No.14338679
File: 58 KB, 230x253, stupidgit.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


OP 'ere.

Tell yer git GM ta quit bein' a panzy arsed eldar bootlikah and ta jus let yew play da role ov a S..saa...sankt.. zog it. Sankshuned zeenos.

Iz not dat 'ard really, yeh just gotta let da capin' kuff yer on da face wif a burney fing.

Look in page 107 o' Inta da Storm!

>> No.14340121
File: 10 KB, 283x237, whoa.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>these games

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