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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.14240700 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Gentlemen, how do we destroy the drow?

>> No.14240718


>> No.14240730


>> No.14240734

Provide them a lack of enemies. Their society will crumble without an exterior antagonistic force.

>> No.14240736


>> No.14240790

Well it won't wipe out the species from a genetic standpoint... But...

Rape "LoL"th, Put the men in charge. At least it'll be a normal, if still somewhat evil, civilization again, but less of a derpy backstabfest that reminds me of the average Vampire LARP.

>> No.14240813

Friendship is the only magic that can obliterate those dark beings.

I should probably stay away from /co/ for a while.

>> No.14240869


This man must be a politologist

Also, this thread is sure necrorehashed.

>> No.14240885


Send in the Ponies!

>> No.14240895


We locate a series of wide open caves close enough to the drow nation(s).

Then we exile the most creative, brilliant malcontents to our empire there and let them build a vast nation of cavedwellers. In addition, we will continue to send people who disagree with our policies, who have too many eccentricities, or those who just ended up on the wrong side of a power struggle there.

Eventually, this rogue nation will grow strong and come into conflict with the drow.

When everything's done, we will built immense teleporters to funnel troops down underground and clean up whoever's left.

There is no way this plan will go wrong.

>> No.14240907

They live in underground tunnels right?
Just flood their tunnels.and stab the ones trying to flee to the surface.

>> No.14240917

What did they do in Gears of War?

>> No.14240956


Friendship you say?

>> No.14240964

The tunnels go down further than you can possibly comprehend. All the water in the world, all the oceans and lakes and streams, would be but a drop into the underdark. And there are worse things than drow living in the shadowy depths, do you really want to awake them to?

>> No.14241010

Drill a hole from the bottom of an ocean to underdark.

>> No.14241038

Still not enough water.

>> No.14241054

Why not just stab them in the first place?

>> No.14241062

Just go in and fucking murder them, You'll get night vision eventually.

>> No.14241069

Dwarven tactical teams, set up the bomb to bring the rocky ceilings down on their big cities. Instigate a war between what remains, and the Flayers.

>> No.14241078

Well, for that you need to go to the underdark.

And you really don't want to go to the underdark.

>> No.14241079

Because they are supa speshul, magical, unbeatable snowflakes.

>> No.14241087

i dont know how your settings geology works, but if its anything like earths as long as the area is below sea level you'll be able to flood it. the ocean is pretty damn huge and the volume of caves is never going to even match it.

>> No.14241093

swarms of humans


>> No.14241094

Fine. Get a bunch of Decanters of Endless Water (3rd edition style), set them on Gyser at every major opening to the underdark and have guards stab anything that tries to get to them.

Just dump straight from the elemental plane of water until you fill it up.

>> No.14241102

The underdark in FR extends well into what we would call "the mantel"

>> No.14241124

If you really want to be a dick, open up from the spot between the elemental planes of fire and earth. Fill the Underdark with DELICIOUS MAGMA.

>> No.14241126

Honestly? Drow have canonically had really low birth rates in every setting, as far as I know. Get a necromancer to create a plague dropping their fertility even more, or outright sterilizing them. Wouldn't be hard.

>> No.14241182

What kind of fucking pussy are you?
My party and I have led entire armies into the under dark and come out alive. Hell right now the Dwarves are waging a under ground trench war against the Drow.

>> No.14241187

Force them into a xenophobic or ethnocentric isolation then allow the rest of the world to advance technologically while they stagnate, eventually we will out tech them and burn their cities.

>> No.14241199

Why bother? Not even their own novels paint them as anything other than a threat to their own kind. They're mildly annoying to all other races - in fact, less annoying than orcs, goblins, and hobgoblins. They raid the upper world on occasion, but what the hell doesn't? They don't have any successful plots that occur in any of the books, tomes, or descriptions, and they're just....one more bad thing in the underdark.

The illithids are a threat. The aboleths are more of a threat than the drow, and they barely do anything! Don't waste your time with the drow. They're meaningless. And that very fact will destroy them in worse manners than anything you can possible do to them.

>> No.14241212

okay, well you can still flood it, it not like it has an infinite volume. if you dug into the underdark at strategic point you'd probably end draining most of the oceans to fill at least the lower parts up. horrors would then ascend into the inhabited parts of the underdark and rape stuff.
Also the whole geology of the underdark sounds like it makes no sense. the pressure of the rock above would easily collapse most any cave that extended 'into the mantle'. any caves that extended that far would naturally fill up with water anyway, since caves are gennerally produced by flowing water.....which doesnt make sense, if water flows down into the mantle to produce caves where does it go?

>> No.14241217


>> No.14241236

>trench war


>> No.14241244

To the pools of the aboleth, and from there....into places you truly don't want to go. Common theory is that there are portals reaching back to the elemental plane of water, creating a circuit....other theories suggest that the aboleth have created a shunt into a strange deeper cavern, filled with murky, sludge-like water, the substance they used to exist in millenia ago. And this slow addition of normal, clean water to the sludge is a plan to allow them to acclimate themselves to the current waters of the world....

>> No.14241267

Caves are huge and shit, and they kept flinging magic at the dwarves like giant faggots. So the Dorfs dug into the dirt and made trenches.

>> No.14241269

What... like the Drowtales drow?
Kill five random noble children, tadah they will all get possessed by demons within a week and die without the main characters.

Regular drow? Fuck if i know.
I don't really dislike drow though, i even read some of drowtales once and it wasn't that bad in comparison to a lot of things.

>> No.14241291

That's why flooding with magma is a better plan. When the magma gets all the way down to the bottom it'll just form an obsidian cap on all them aboleth puddles.

Sure there might be a few 'environmental side-effects' of pumping molten hot rock into cave systems all across the continent, but at least we won't have to deal with any more whiny drow renegades.

>> No.14241303

ah fuck it, use a ring of wish to get a block of infintie lava from minecraft / create a portal to the plane of fire and just flood the fucker minecraft style. That or wish yourself unlimited tnt and just fill the place with it, then set it off and run for cover.

>> No.14241309

Tell these guys that the Drow think they look stupid and smell.

>> No.14241391

On that note, a trio of low-yield nuclear devices initiated inside Menzoberranzen would probably level a sizeable chunk of the underdark.

>> No.14241429

Teach those fuckers not to live below sea level by using a Locate City nuke to open up a hole to the Underdark in the bottom of the ocean. Let gravity do the rest.

>> No.14241461

<Please do not worry dear humans. The illithids are your friends. We only wish to bring you happiness>

>> No.14241479



>> No.14241483

Is it just me or is that one seriously handsome illithid? Goddamn.

>> No.14241490

You know, just once I'd like to parade a party through a nightmarescape based on bad webcomics.
We'd start by meeting an obnoxious seer and his abused, snaggletoothed girlfriend in a world where Orcs eat fruit. Then move onto a semi-futuristic world headed up by a bespectacled nerd and his idiot friend along with their underaged sexbot. Then we top it all off by rallying a group of human slaves to rebellion against a bunch of obnoxious loli drow nobles.
I predict total genocide, with the right players.

>> No.14241495

Is that your spine or are you just happy to see me?

>> No.14241507


...if you're doing this online, could you let me participate? This sounds fun.

>> No.14241514

>Drowtales drow

As has been repeated...MANY times now: You can NOT defeat the Drowtales drow. They have been given uber leet magical bullshit hax powers by their creator to ensure that no strategy, tactic, weapon, or plot can overcome them. For example, try to flood their caves? They'll water-sorcery that shit so it floods back up in their attacker's face. They are fucking invincible Mary Sue faggotry. I have learned to deal with it. I suggest you do the same.

>> No.14241562


They don't have an absolute Desu Ex Machina.

We send in Freeman. The Gman ensures he can't actually die, so no matter what the drow do, they'll just get mowed down by The One Free Man.

So they somehow found a way to beat him? Too bad. Gman stops time, yanks Gordon out of there, and puts him back in when the time is right.

>> No.14241568

Oh, there's always a way to defeat anyone, given sufficient creative thinking.

>> No.14241577

>We see humans as weak-minded barbaric animals, consuming and burning everything around them.
Okay, fair enough... Except humans do that for survival and racial expansion/development; whereas Drow do the exact same things for fun, then rape each other with whips, spikes, and chains for the next few hours.

>> No.14241578

>Desu Ex Machina

>> No.14241580

The only solution is to respond with stronger Mary Sue faggotry.
By which I mean subsuming their kingdom into Commorragh.
>What's that little girl? Your magic doesn't work here? How sad. Let me make you feel better.

>> No.14241593


DAMMIT. I meant Deus Ex Machina.

Seriously though, Freeman can't possibly fail.

>> No.14241597

Where's Chink? I need a picture of Vect balancing btichslut on the end of his "look ma no hands!"

>> No.14241605

Heh, I would have said point Malekith/The Council of Thirteen at the tasty slaves-to-be, but Commoragh works better.

>> No.14241611

Isn't it obvious?

>> No.14241617



>> No.14241620

The only one I recognize there is Drow tales.

>> No.14241629

The answer is by countering with a force even more evil than them.

>> No.14241638

Pretty sure the second one is Megatokyo. Not sure about the first.

>> No.14241640

>Implying that consuming and burning everything around you, and then raping the survivors with what usually passes as weapons in other cultures, all for fun and personal enjoyment, is inherently evil
Seriously though, that's really annoying writing in OP's pic.

>> No.14241657

Sauce ? I tried to read about the underdark some time ago to find a way to make sense of why it didn't work like a mundane well, and I never read something like that. Actually, if I trust my memory on that, toril's crust does not heat the deeper you go.

>> No.14241658

What about that writefaggotry series about the ground of badass Spetsnasz soldiers that get teleported to the Underdark? Anyone else remember that?

I vote we send them in.

>> No.14241661


is it sad that I recognize all of those?

>> No.14241668

Dominic Deegan.
It would require a hell of a lot of writing just to pull off well, but the results--especially with established PCs--could be glorious.

>> No.14241670

I got Dominic Deegan and Drow Tales. What's the third?

Also, you forgot "A teenaged witch with red hair torments the local populace with haphazard use of transformative magic. She is dense as a stone, and her close friends are able to manipulate her abilities for their own sexual perversion."

>> No.14241679

Trust me when I say we tried to go Dorf Fortress on their RP, but they wouldn't have any of it, and did not respond to join requests last I checked. The humans in the setting have inferior armor (lol bronze) and only fey (such as the drow) can cast magic. Dwarves have the advantage of gunpowder, but lack a means to employ it short of close-ish range hand cannons and presumably explosives.

The humans haven't been entirely wiped out because they are mostly enslaved by the drow (where they, get this, start enjoying their servitude) and the dwarven lands are covered in a poisonous vapor the drow can't stomach but the Dwarves can breathe. Honestly, if those asses in the forums were more responsive, we'd have an interesting roleplay spinning around there.

>> No.14241689


We have to think. There has to be a way. I hate those drowtales faggots. i hatethem so much.

I was in Project Dwarftales, man. I was a survivor. I slogged through all the horseshit; their forums, their players, their people. I read their comics. The things i seen, man, the things I seen...!

Worst of all, I was there when my comrades began turning. They went native, man, starting to say how Drowtales "wasn't that bad" and how we should "make drow characters to fit in." They started agreeing with the forumites, leaking our plans, and before I knew it half of them were sucking drow cock like the rest of those faggots.

It's been burned into my brain. Burned into my SOUL. When I was over there, all I could think about was coming home. Now that I'm home, all I can think about is going back and burning them all.

They have to burn, man. They have to burn for what they did, for what they are. There ain't no other solution man.THEY TOOK RICO! WE WERE GONNA GO CRUISIN' IN HIS SOLARA, MAN!


...we were gonna go cruisin'.

>> No.14241706

I don't recognize yours, oddly.

>> No.14241708

>and presumably explosives.
There is no problem in the world that cannot be fixed by appropriately creative usage of sufficient explosives.

>> No.14241711

But yeah, my bawww aside, I would still be interested in wasting time trying to outgun them, even if it is hopeless. It's half the fun.

>> No.14241713

Weapons that eat mana. Hunger for Fae souls.

>>"Our shields! They're fading!"
>>"Correction, they're tastey."

>> No.14241714

mg 42s should work just fine. where's your goddess now?

>> No.14241729

The problem is their concept of a threat to them. Someone on /tg/ made a dwarven character who could go frothing mad berserk (a la Viking berserkers). The staff declared that such a rage was 'not realistic/possible'.

>> No.14241732

We could just, y'know... send in Guts.

He kills hundreds of enemies on a daily basis, even after the loss of an arm and an eye.

>> No.14241745

His is the Wotch, a complete trainwreck.
Luckly it hasn't updated in a rather long time

>> No.14241755


Seems to me the more invincible the foe the more likely it is that Guts will just slaughter it wholesale.

So Guts is a good option I think.

>> No.14241756

So, about those toxic vapours that dwarves can breath and drow can't...

>> No.14241758

I can't tell you guys how badly I want to have artistic talent so I could write a Dwarftales webcomic that exists for the sole purpose of murdering drow.

I just wanna see the looks on their faces.

>> No.14241759

Too cramped.

>> No.14241778


He'd make room. By cutting the rocks with his sword.

IIRC he's done it before, but that might've been with pillars rather than a cave.

>> No.14241794

I don't think you're actually childish enough to waste your time and would-be talent doing that.

>> No.14241806


Oh no, forget about it. The Drow have gas masks that they wear when they need to go into those areas. It's been implied on the forums that if they really wanted to they could just magic the gas away forever, but don't for some unknown reason.

The presence of the gas is literally a buffer to explain why the superior-in-every-way-to-everyone drow haven't just exterminated the dwarves to the last man.

>> No.14241815

Filling a cramped cave with rubble doesn't help.

>> No.14241827

You strike the earth.

Also, how about earthquakes?

>> No.14241833

tons and tons of rape

>> No.14241834


He kills multiple enemies with each swing of his blade. Something as frail as rock won't stop him.

When the Berserker Armor takes control, though... NOTHING CAN STOP HIM.

>> No.14241835


Then he'd use the knives, the crossbow and the cannon.

The Dragon's his main weapon but it's hardly his only one.

>> No.14241842

I suppose the drows have mg42 sorcery or some similar shit to counter that.

>> No.14241866

Let's say the drow really are superior in every way, barring non-magical technology, regardless of their legitimacy to be so.
How should the inferior races act on the fact that they can't compete or resist in non-individual scale ?

>> No.14241876

So, if we trick them into thinking it's that gas, they laugh and put on gas masks, then fall down screaming and writhing in pain (and possibly being turned-on, creeps being creeps) as the modified gas you released eats them?

Life-eater, fuck yeah.

>k-form typtorse
I think Captcha is giving hints on developing the weapon, though I'm not sure I understand...

>> No.14241888

Become mass slaves, at pre-arranged time turn on bitches and kill them all.

>> No.14241892


As servants kill the nobility in their sleep? The ensuing power struggle should collapse Drow Society.

I'd also accept act on a non-individual scale.

>> No.14241894

The problem is is that supposedly everythign the inferior races learned they learned from the drow, so technically there wouldn't BE any inferior races. Reverse engineering is easy.

>> No.14241898


>> No.14241907

Thaty didn't help the first thousands times.

>> No.14241908


But only the Drow can use magic, which gives them an edge because everyone else is too stupid to do anything without them

>> No.14241929

Then they're not drow, they're some weird race that has nothing to do with D&D.

>> No.14241933

just rape them?
rape always works

>> No.14241941

Good lord I forgot how horrible Pathfinder's outfit/ costume/ armor designs were.

>> No.14241945

Seriously. Use Guts. He doesn't even exist completely in the physical world, so wounds that would kill a normal person are but minor hindrances to him.

-Dragon. Made of crystals. [SEVERELY WOUNDED]
-Tower of demons. He didn't even have his sword for this one. [KILLED MANY OF THEM]
-3 giant squid, each the size of a large office bilding. At the same time. [ALL DEAD IN UNDER 2 MINUTES]
-An avatar of the goddess of seduction. [IMPALED]
-About a dozen zombie-squid, each about the size of a large office building. [ALL DEAD, < 5 MINUTES]
-A corrupted angel, with a body made of feathers tougher than diamonds. Also, it can breathe fire. [IMPALED. TWICE.]

>> No.14241954

For you people still suggesting rape, they are Drow. DROW. DROW ARE ELVES.
See: It's not rape if it's an elf.
It's even less like rape if it's a Drow, because they are creepy like that.

>> No.14241964

What's that? he Drowtales hate-thread has been overtaken by the Fanboy Express? Well if that isn't Ironic, I don't know.

>> No.14241967

That's okay if it's a sorcerer.

>> No.14241968



>> No.14241970

The mary sues in Drow Tales most likely have Guts sorcery. Anything you can up with they will counter with sorcery.

>> No.14241979


A weird race that has nothing to do with D&D that are still called Drow.

>> No.14241988


First one's Dominic Deegan

Heheh snaggletoothed

>> No.14242005

Oh i forget so easily! haha!
humm...what do you call it then when youre forcing an elf to roll for anal circumfence? we need a name for itst frame is MFW

>> No.14242011


It is a car analogy.

>> No.14242035

Trains, actually.

>> No.14242036

Fight mary-sues with a bigger mary-sue ? That just might work.

>> No.14242072

I for one, am in full support of sending in the Black Swordsman. But would he go in with his Nakama or without?

>> No.14242092



That was one of the things I attempted to discuss on the forums during Project Dwarftales and was subsequently bitched at all to high holy hell.

Nobody but drow can use drow technology. You can't reverse engineer it because everyone is too stupid. You can't even look at their tech and then make something similar. That's how inept everyone that isn't a drow is.

Also, despite the fact that dwarves have gunpowder and explosives, they're not smart enough to make guns... or even cannons that aren't strapped to your fucking chest. Advanced explosives are right out of the question, as well; their bombs are literally bags stuffed with gunpowder with a fuse in it, which begs the question as to how they were able to come up with fucking EXPLODING CANNONBALLS.

Also, it's been explicitly stated that any technological advancement would be pointless anyway because if any non-drow race ever invented something, that means that the drow would automatically make the same thing and it would be ten thousand times better because it was made by drow with magic.

I shit you not, these are things that were said to me on their forums. Talking with them with any amount of logic or reason is a terrifyingly futile endeavor.

>> No.14242097

Problem, barbarians?

>> No.14242160

Guts isn't a mary-sue - he's a main character and he's suffered setbacks and injuries and been tormented. The Drowstales drow don't have main character status - they're all side characters, but they're all utterly invincible, making them mary-sues because they're fap fodder and self inserts for the forumgoers.

>> No.14242162

Cannot look away from boob light...

>> No.14242169

>Talking with them with any amount of logic or reason is a terrifyingly futile endeavor.

Make a drow character, use conversation magic to convince them in-game.

>> No.14242182

whatever they eat,release predators or bacterial to destroy their food supply

>> No.14242184

Send in the Asgardian Destroyer.

It can EASILY tank planet busting attacks, has equivalent magical resistance, and it can even beat Thor to death (Thor can take repeated punches from Thanos without getting knocked out, and Thanos is strong enough to accidentally break planets with his punches).

>> No.14242200

Then I suppose the path is clear.

Someone must write vast qualities of crossover fanfic depicting just how much damage would result in Fuklaw encountering their pathetic heretical Xenos mockery of a civilisation. Bonus points: Introduce the poor little noobs to Blanks.

Then, post the results all over their forums.

Of course, it'll never work with their faggy mods, but meh. WE CAN DREAM, DAMNIT.

>> No.14242206

Ok so here's the plan.
>get Guts
>drop Guts into the underdark
>witness drow rape a girl that vaguely resembles Casca

>> No.14242209

>Project Dwarftales
>Choose one of the available playable races
>There's very little information on it, so I ask people already playing that race for tips and data stockpiles
>End up forced to fill in the gaps here and there
>Character rejected
>"You're not allowed to fill in gaps."

>> No.14242212

He murders everything, doesn't he? Things he as a human has no bussiness killing? Sure, he isn't a Mary Sue, but you can't deny that he is a tad overpowered in setting.

>> No.14242217

This brings to mind the question of whether or not drow are weaker than dragons. They certainly have total control over demons and devils, it's been shown (again and again and again....).

Fuck it. They're not worth the trouble. Like I said, they aren't a threat to anyone.

>> No.14242221

Like this idea... (heck, a drawfag on this would be cool)
The whole thing (the topic of this thread) seems utterly pointless. I've seen this discussion come up a ton of times, and the result is always the same. We talk about how we could beat them, we plan something (invade their forums, write up counter stories, etc etc) but nothing significant happens.

And here's why; One: The story is ultimately in the hands of the author who: A; Has a raging hard on for his special little Original the race, do not steal, and B; Can't take criticism for shit.

Mix that in with forum mods (from what Ive been reading here) that rule with an iron fist, and fanboys that are almost as bad as furries and twilight fangirls, and it's just a recipe for disappointment.

The best bet would be to just ignore it all. It's like dealing with elder gods; The only way to truly beat them is to forget them and make sure nobody else bothers to dig up traces of them.

>> No.14242236

>implying Guts doesn't kill monsters for a reason

>> No.14242266


Always makes me smile when i see something i created back in /new/ being used on other boards.

>> No.14242273

That's not what I was implying. Learn to implications. I was implying that he should maybe have been killed by one of the many Shogoths he faces.

>> No.14242280

>implying Guts wouldn't HACK AND SLASH his way through so many soldiers that they would flee
>implying magic would scare him in the least
>implying he wouldn't have at least 2 of his companions with him

Schierke, to guid his rage, and Serpico. He makes for a fucking awesome backup.

>> No.14242283


>> No.14242297

>implying Guts wouldn't HACK AND SLASH his way through so many soldiers that they would flee
>implying magic would scare him in the least
>implying he wouldn't have at least 2 of his companions with him

Schierke, to guide his rage, and Serpico. He makes for a fucking awesome backup.

>> No.14242316


Drowtales is like that fully-functioning autistic kid in your class. He's not dumb, he's not some spastic. But if you say something that goes just a little bit against his worldview or whatever, he gets in your face with hands over his ears and just screams "NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE! NOPE!" at the top of his lungs.

If you don't agree with him, he won't ever shut up. You can't hit him, because he's still technically a retard and everyone would come down on you for it.

The only way to come out even is to sit there quietly, simmering in your own rage.

>> No.14242326


The Fanboyism, double posting and misunderstanding implications makes me think you are new here. And 12.

>> No.14242337


and everyone else in the class sees you argue every day with him.

>> No.14242346

That, or do what people did to one of the annoying guys at my school: find their anger-phrase, then say it a few times every time you walk past them.

Man, and people say kids are all innocent and shit.

>> No.14242355

Were any of you gentlemen part of the original dorf tale movement? No? Go fuck yourselves then.

>> No.14242367

>get upwards of ten people to rp drows claiming that they are drow that have combined to create a new family house.
>this new house raises humans and teaches them how to tap into the magical weave of the universe in an attempt to raise them from "base creatures" to creatures that could contend with the drow for power in order to lift the boredom of drow society (constantly ruled by drow so there is no true thrill in battle or any other facet of life because only drow hold power/high positions)
>Drow decide, in typical dick drow fashion, to use their humans as a military force in an effort to destroy a rival house in order to take their slaves and raise a greater army
>human soldiers turn on drow and kill them creating humans into new faction that teaches humans to tap into the magical weave.
>suddenly new faction

ever tried anything like this instead of using dwarfs?

>> No.14242368

Can somebody tell me why on 4chan, on /g/, without provocation anon will spontaneous burst into a thread plotting the downfall of a fetish website, begin scheming each other about how awesome it'd be, why they're wrong and how you've got an unbeatable plan to humiliate them all and circle jerk about it.

I mean, do you see what you're doing? Do you?

>> No.14242371

Why would even want to? Unless they're bothering you they aren't worth the effort. Just follow this fine fellow's plan >>14240734
and your problems with the Underdorks will clean themselves up.

>> No.14242383

You don't even need to rage, the difference is between a "special" kid in your class, and drow tales is that one you would have too possibly see every day at school, the other, is an entirely optional website filled with drivel that you yourself are visiting in order to fulfill some sort of sadomasochism.

Seriously, just keep this shit off /tg/. The author already said "Hurrdurr this isn't DnD, its completely different!"... okay, I know that last part is fucking stupid, sad bit its true (that he said it at least) and I'm just trying to use that as an excuse to just stop bothering with this bullshit.

It's a shitty setting, the characters suck, the art is pretty, and the porn is decent. It probably wont get any better than it is now, and only can get worse. Time to put the sick dog down and get on with our lives.

>> No.14242404


I thought that this was a sort of thought experiment to figure out a way to beat a titanic race of mary sues.


Was I wrong? Because I don't remember plotting to infiltrate Drowtales and unleash guns or Aboleths or plagues or anything in actuality.

>> No.14242406


>> No.14242413


>this new house raises humans and teaches them how to tap into the magical weave

Tried it. Humans cannot learn magic. They can't. Basically, it's because only drow have souls. It's not just limited to magic; you are expressly forbidden to teach humans anything without the written consent of the creator of the comic.

>> No.14242440

That was what it seemed to be originally, the problem was that all the suggestions were basically blocked by "nope, they won't let you do that," so yeah.

>> No.14242459

>only drow have souls
... what? are you serious?

I actually dont read the comic but it seems that the setting would be entirely stagnant with no major changes in the plot.

also... who lives on the surface in this setting? are they powerrful enough to defend themselves against the drow?

>> No.14242460

Teach them to Tech the fuck up.

>> No.14242463


Then why is everyone acting like we're sitting in a tavern's back room, in cloaks, scheming by the light of a single candle the downfall of this fucktarted setting full of mary sues?

>> No.14242474

I seem to recall that Mephistopheles did a good job of murdering the shit out of the Underdark a time ago.

>> No.14242475

I don't know anything about /g/ but what you've described is business as usual on /tg/.

>> No.14242488

Because, as noted, the Mary Sue-ness is protected by the setting, so it's rather difficult, indeed impossible, to seperate the two.

>> No.14242498


>> No.14242501

Mustard Gas is heavier than air. Pump enough of it into the underdark. It will flow downward through the tunnels exterminating everything that breathes.

>> No.14242507

The Drowtales world is nasty but honsetly not THAT powerful on the scale of Fantacy power. It's just every non-drow is retarded.

The Nanoha-verse would rape the crap out of the Drowtales one. They just act like UN peacekeepers most of the time rather than a military.

"We are finally sick of your shit are are going whole hog. The Arc en Ciel is a gun that tears a hole in reality itself to destroy the target. We have ships that jump dimentions at will, we have shield that railguns have shattered on and we can make life from nothing. Fuck your drow magic"

>> No.14242516

Would have to be a planet cracker, or lance/melta torpedo to the core job. As fun as the life eater virus is, it doesn't always work, see Tallarn

>> No.14242544

An excellent idea forms!
Look up 2000AD Shakara

>> No.14242547

Eh, even if some stuff doesn't get nommed, the firestorm when you set off the resulting bio-clouds should be enough to clear a lot of shit out. Of course, it's still /survivable,/ but it's going to seriously fuck up the development of civilisations that aren't already pretty damn developed.

>> No.14242574

Normally I'd agree with you, but this isn't a normal society we are dealing with. They seem to warp the nature of reality to benefit themselves

>> No.14242589

Ok first, figure out a way to free Torog from his eternal suffering. This could be accomplished by making deals with gods to let him out of the Underdark. Then go to Torog and tell him that you'll free him forever if he does one little thing. Exterminate all Drow. He would be a fool to turn down such an offer. The Drow are nothing to him as he has more power than most other gods while in the Underdark. It is his domain. Also, who's going to stop him? Lolth? AHAHAHAHA!

>> No.14242607

* Nerve gas.
* Take off and nuke the site from orbit.

>> No.14242613


>also... who lives on the surface in this setting? are they powerrful enough to defend themselves against the drow?

Humans and orcs live on the surface -and no, they're not. As reference, three -count them, three- mid-range drow were able to COMPLETELY LOCK DOWN AN ENTIRE HUMAN SETTLEMENT WITH ACCOMPANYING MILITARY FORTRESS AND MILITIA by themselves. By their fucking selves. With no support, and coming out of it totally unscathed.


You CAN'T teach them to tech the fuck up. They're too inept. Drow have magic-powered robot golem mech suits. Humans are still struggling with bronze, metalworking, and fucking MASONRY. And as was stated before, technological advancements are rendered null and void as it has been stated on the forums that at any point where by some miracle humans DO manage to make some sort of advancement, the drow would have made an even GREATER advancment in the same time that totally blows everything else out of the water.

I.e. humans invent the flintlock, drow invent magic-powered heatseeking chainsaw launchers.

>> No.14242630

So the entire drow powerbase is lolmagic?
Hmmm, we need planar allies for this boys, ones with anti-magic fields. Failing that, fuck it, set Phyrexia on them

>> No.14242645


Aye. Invent the anti-magic field and you win.

We should make some kind of White Dwarf equivalent for the setting. A Dwarf who can never die and will always be there in his peoples darkest hour.

>> No.14242652

that is fucking retarded logic

>> No.14242654


Heh. The TSAB would curbstomp the Drowtales Drow. And then they would make them all citizens and put them in therapy. The next season they would have a drow as a main character as she learns to ajust to society.

Would be perfectly in character for them too. They do concider themselves the be all and end all of magical law enforcement.

>> No.14242669

Well we must have a list of reality-distorting artifacts of ULTRA DEATH RAPE such that it would be impossible not to find one that ensures the total extinction of all drow, right?

In real life, we have so many ways to kill the entire world that we've had to create LAWS to prevent anyone from doing that sort of thing. How can we NOT think of a way to nuke the entire Underdark?

>> No.14242671

Why doesn't the Bad Webcomics Wiki have an entry of Drow Tales yet? The injustice is mindboggling.

>> No.14242700

I want to make a parody comic that centers on kobolds instead of the drow. And instead of being the super special mary sue snowflakes, they'd be pretty much the single least advanced, most inept race in the entire world, and every day is struggling to survive.

But I won't because I'm lazy.

>> No.14242701

the sanguinious of the dwarfs

>> No.14242703


Because everything we think up is responded with


I think there was an argument on their forums about how the Drow would beat the 40K universe. That the drow supporters were winning.

At least that's what I heard. Don't know if it's true.

>> No.14242721


I would rather see my world picked clean in the very gaping maw of undeath itself...

Than see it lorded over by these dark skinned mary sue sons of bitches.

>> No.14242723


Nay. We bring Grombrindal to the Drowtales universe.

It shall be glorious.

>> No.14242724

>>14242700But I won't because I'm lazy.

I've always wanted to have a long running story with a fan following :(

the most /tg/ can do is HORFDORF for a thread then we go back to... doing whatever it is we do

>> No.14242728

Problem: Due to crappy ass writing, all such weapons are in the hands of the drow.
This entire argument is like those "comic book character X versus comic character Y, who wins?", it all depends on the writer

>> No.14242731

You could throw 682 in the under dark and seal it off.

>> No.14242734

>>sending the wrong king of "Nuke"
Pic very related.

>>"but they made one mistake... they took our women"
Pic and Link very related

>> No.14242738

A humble suggestion...

>> No.14242743


Tell me about it.

During Project Dwarftales, I almost got banned from their forums for pointing out all the flaws in their logic.

Also, try talking to them about slave revolts. According to them, slaves can not and will not ever revolt within a drow city because they're a) too happy or b) too scared. Option A far outweighs option B, despite the fact that most slave races are openly used as FOOD AND CLOTHING. And there's no fucking mind control or anything going on!

>> No.14242747

>I think there was an argument on their forums about how the Drow would beat the 40K universe. That the drow supporters were winning.

Well obviously they would.

The first thing that finds them is the human explorers, checking out this new interesting planet, which are promptly ambushed and killed, their technology taken from them for reverse-engineering. By the time the humans figure out what's going on and Imperial Guard gets in, the drow have better shit than the Imperium has, and will curb-stomp them, taking their technology as well.

Then the conquest of the universe can begin.

>> No.14242754

Have we tried elder gods yet? Or at the very least, anything similar to a super-dimensional being that exists in all points in time and feeds on the forces that binds atoms together?

>> No.14242757


so you joined their forum to roleplay with them because you think they're faggots?

>> No.14242762


Wait, what? If there is one thing the 40k univers counters well it's magic. The Sisters of Battle have the shield of faith and excellent weapon loadouts og tunnel fighting.

And that's just one group.

>> No.14242779


The point of Dwarftales was to mess up their shit.

>> No.14242789


I don't even know how that begins to make sense. If B) was bigger than A) then maybe, MAYBE I could see it.

Then again. Humans in this setting are fucking retarded, so there's that.

>> No.14242802


did it work, or was the coalition of dorfs and fatguys defeated by Drowtales posters.

>> No.14242807

Hang on, we've been doing this all wrong.
We've been looking for single shot solutions, fire and forget apocalypses. Why not combine ideas?
Imagine dwarves fighting alongside Phyrexian hordes while nukes rain down from Imperial battleships to support the advance of the Eldrazi.
Fuck, this might work

>> No.14242809


Ask the Dwarftales veteran.

>> No.14242810


...you have absolutely no idea what the fuck Project Dwarftales was, do you, faggot?

Why don't you sit down and keep your fucking cockhole shut, son? Adults are talking.

>> No.14242830

Duke and Guts vs Drowtales
Duke, raiding an alien ship on its way to earth, is accidentally warped into the drowtales world by some experimental aliens weapon tech. Likewise, Guts, was thrown to the same world as a result of the forces that be, being unable to deal with him in traditional methods, sought to just move him "elsewhere".

Now the two must fight their way through the hordes of overpowered darklings to their high priests in order for the thin chance of finding a way back to their own worlds, in order to save them.

>>horrible writefaggotry, but I smirked at the idea, so whatever.

>> No.14242837

Fuck this I'm going to play Morrowind and slaughter the entire dark elf population

>> No.14242838

Fight Mary Sue with Mary Sue.

Send in the wraeththu.

>> No.14242839

Personally i'd Imagine the Skaven could give the Drowtale whores a run for their money.

The little fuckers just cannot be beat when it comes to creative ways to kill someone. Also for each Skaven killed thirty take his place.

If nothing else the skaven will DROWN the Drow under a tsunami of corpses.

>> No.14242848

Need to bust a world apart?

We can help you there.

>> No.14242855


I don't even see how the Drow are supposed to deal with the Eldrazi, let alone any of those other things.

But that might be a bad idea in the long term, because then the Phyrexians might be able to assimilate the Drow AND the Eldrazi.

>> No.14242859


what reason would Guts have to fight in drowtales though?

>> No.14242868

But Dunmer are awesome.

Hell, put em next to Drowtales and the Telvanni would probably have the drow slaving in kwama mines within a week.

>> No.14242884


Cats are lazy as fuck and, as such, are fairly predictable. If anyone's chaotic its dogs.

>> No.14242887


Oh gods yes. House Telvanni transplanted to the Drowtales verse. They all just suddenly appear there.

Within the week they've made some new towers and are wrecking shit.

>> No.14242892

You the guys who run the Ishimura? 'Cos we might as well make a profit on this, and there's probably a market for powdered mary sue.
Side effects include the inability to write well and unwarranted self importance

>> No.14242900


They tried to enslave him. Alternately they have a way to get him back home that they wouldn't let him use.

>> No.14242901


you sound drowhurt

>> No.14242902


>> No.14242903

Dark cramped tunnels? Strange enemies? The powers of Darkness?

You rang?

>> No.14242907


We lost a lot of men to naturalization. Many more got frustrated by the horrible black hole that is the fan base, swallowing logic and reason whole.

The rest were felled by time.

You see, this was the greatest tactic of Drowtales: in the end, they simply refused to review our character submissions. They waited... god, I don't know? Two, three months? Until we all stopped posting on the forums to get around to the reviews and rejected. Every. Single. Character. And some of them were absolutely brilliantly crafted; like comparing a Dwarf version of Bill Shakespeare to a drow Natruto fapfiction.

They didn't want us to play with them, legitimately or otherwise, so they just shot us down right out of the gate.

>> No.14242921

The Ishimura was a very... outdated ship.

You'll find our latest starships are much more efficient and effective.

>> No.14242922

I never said it was a good plan, just a plan. Besides, thats the idea, overwhelm with things they can't defeat. Eventually something will stick.
Hopefully Phyrexia, would love to see them cry as they get turned into degenerate bio-machines.

>> No.14242923

Read "Underdark"
In the forgotten realms the underdark expands into infinity.
By that I mean it goes to where the equivalent of the mantle should be then it eventually crosses over into the plane of shadows, which is crosses over into every plane of existence and alternate reality.

The only way to flood the underdark is to do as the ancient Netherese did (Netheril, AD&D book) use epic magics to separate entire sections of the underdark from the rest of it, then reroute oceans into the separated section, hoping that there aren't any portals at the bottom.

Of course the Netherese did this to fend off the Phaerimm who regularly enslave aboleths, beholders, and are responsible for creating the Anauroch desert.

The only other desert comparable to the Anauroch being created from when the egyptian gods (no really) waged war against one of the most powerful (if not the most powerful) human sub-races in existence.

And that was your random fluff for the day.

>> No.14242929


Why not make Drow. Get the characters approved.

Then have your characters develop a conscience.

>> No.14242936

Go away.

WE rule the tunnels man-thing.

>> No.14242942

Build a Black Marker somewhere in range but beyond their reach.

>> No.14242948

Send in niggers and kikes to be enslaved.

Soon Drow society will collapse as the subhuman filth destroys them from within with insidious jewry and nigra crime and violence.


>> No.14242955

Pretty much correct. ;)
Oh it did originate in D&D and some RP sessions between friends, but then it sort of grew away from that.
It's not that Drowtales is completely different from it's D&D origins. There are still some elements here and there. But neither is it a ripoff of D&D.
A bit like branching away from the same tree maybe?
The same way Warcraft originally was intended to be a Warhammer game and gradually grew into something else.

I haven't followed the RP section for a time, but as I recall since the revamps in 2002 and 200...7 I think it was, things got more restricted in what you were allowed to do.
Before, people were allowed to evolve and invent things, but the RP threads usually turned into arms races and huge battles.
Thus things were restricted so you couldn't invent anything (this goes for drow characters too) to get the focus on a more social RP instead of just battles.
Also, since the setting have the drow deliberately over-powered from a game perspective, it's not very suited to roleplay competitively or fight much.

The majority of "goblins" on the surface (humans, orcs, etc) see the drow as something akin to devils or eldritch abominations (indeed, they call them 'black devils').
The comic (ignore the RP forum for a moment) is basically asking "what if the devils are people too? what are their lives like? what is their story?" and then showing just that.

Not quite right. It hasn't been stated whether the "goblins" have souls or not.
However, the drow (and light elves and other fae creatures) have auras, while the goblins do not.
Drow calls the aura their soul, and unlike the more metaphysical concept of soul IRL, theirs are souls they can see and even use (mana/aura manipulation).
They can see that the goblin races do not have auras, thus in the eyes of the drow they have no souls.
See the difference? :)

>> No.14242965


>Disublet field
That's an... Interesting contribution, Captcha.

>> No.14242967

Drow and Skaven expeditionists burrow into each other. What now?

>> No.14242969

Dude, do you really need a reason? I'm having a blast just imagining the wholesale ass kickings that would be going about. Hell, it'd be a fairly balanced duo. One being awesome at melee range, the other a damn good ranged fighter, both can fill in each others roles respectively, but together, their strengths are friggin awesome.

I can just see guts, sword in mid cleave through a rank of forces, while duke boot firmly lodged in the face of an enemy, pipebomb in hand and trusty pistol in the other.

Only good can come of this.

>> No.14242971

What the drow need is the EMBODIMENT OF MAN to get them to start sucking less.


>> No.14242975

I must confess to being interested in your offer.
Tell me, how fast could you get a ship in orbit, and how long it would take to finish operations?

>> No.14242976

Warpstone everywhere.

>> No.14243010

>"what if the devils are people too? what are their lives like? what is their story?"

It's really not very interesting to show us the lives of the devils and eldritch abominations. I think you're just trying to justify the wish fulfillment mary sue story of the writer.

>> No.14243016




>> No.14243019

In the FR Underdark there's a stone that the Drow have used to mutate monsters into much more powerful versions, as well as to summon greater magics than normally allowed, the only issue is that when shit goes wrong it gives people the equivalent of the worst cancer possible.

Would that be the Drow way of using warpstone?
If so, does either side really get an advantage for it?

>> No.14243033

Skaven get the advantage, due to much deeper understanding of it. And they use it a hell of a lot more. Nearly all their big weapons use it

>> No.14243034

Planet Cracking tends to take a few years, as we like to be careful about it to ensure an optimal harvest and avoid destroying the planet itself until we've exhausted all resources on it.

But for a demolition job? A day to get there, perhaps an hour to rip the world apart.

>> No.14243037

>>14242969Dude, do you really need a reason?

Yeah, I don't really see Guts getting involved in HumanityFukkYer

>> No.14243056

I think you're all going about this incorrectly.
Use D&D logic and rules to beat (although poorly imitated) D&D societies.
Set loose Pun-Pun the Kobold.
His saves are too high for any magic to get through, his HP is too high for any amount of bullshittery to affect, his AC is so high because of his Dex that Goku, instantaneously teleporting his fist into Pun-Pun's face couldn't actually make contact.

Pun-Pun is the ultimate answer to any D&D Mary-Sue.

>> No.14243066

Yes. Skaven fucking /eat/ that shit. They use it as currency, they use it to create monsters, they use it to power tech, they use it to power their magic, hell, their race was basically created by it. If it is there, they will come for it, in endless hordes the likes of which you have never seen.

Oh, and it's basically solid chaos, so LolDaemons/Mutations/Corruption.

>> No.14243074


>"what if the devils are people too? what are their lives like? what is their story?"

The problem arises that instead of answering these questions in an interesting, engrossing way, the creator instead opted to make a shitty Mary Sue cocksucking contest with no depth or substance. It's literally "oh my god everybody look at how awesome my drow are oh they're so perfect and cool don't you love them here's some shitty storywriting if you tell me how good i am i'll let you suck my cock and maybe draw some lumpy titties (but probably not)."

>> No.14243078

Hmmm, quick and fast is the just the way we like it, but could you give us a rough profit estimate if you did mine the planet?

>> No.14243081

Bad idea. Bad, bad idea.
Sure, in the short term you get to watch them writhe in helpless agony as their civilization crumbles around them, but in the long term you're going to have to find a way to deal with Phyrexian Drow.

>> No.14243085

maybe a tribe of human barbarians (or a large group of unified races) using weapons crafted by the surface elves that have magical properties activated by certain phrases. This way we could get around the whole "humans can't use magic" law by saying that they aren't using magic but that the trigger phrase merely activates the latent magic within the object which was initially created by the magical surface elves. Major sorcerers within the battle groups would be made up of the surface elves while magical weaponry given to the humans by surface elves would put their foot soldiers on par with the superior metal working of the drow.

should be feasible since the drow dont rule the overworld (they dont Im assuming) and due to this they can't cow all of the races into foming large enough militaries to form a threat (imagine all goblin races, humans, surface elves and dwarves uniting to fight the drow at once.)

the elves would of course defend against wholesale slaughter of their troops by drow sorcerers (think of the role that mages in eragon play where they are essentially shields against enemy mages) while incredibly large numbers of the baser races simply overwhelm drow numbers.


I guess i might need to ead the comic to fully understand the universe but from what i've gathered this is feasible.

>> No.14243096

Gave you one already.

Needs to get back home, Drow have the Lolmagic to do the task, but they don't like humans (IE enslavement is the usual result). Asskickings ensue. I know a slave rebellion thing wouldn't really be his character, but that isnt the point, just hacking through a horde to get to his goal is.

Whats not to get/like.

>> No.14243102

its funny you made this thread op, because i was thinking about the drowtales setting myself actualy

from what i understand, drow, elves in general, and other magical creatures are all 'fey', in that they generate, can manipulate, and are sensitive to mana.

my guess at to what 'mana' is, is a sort of fundamental quintessence of matter, which when ordered is experienced by other such ordered matter as quarks, electrons, and so forth.

at such a fundamental state mana can possibly exist in multiple times and dimentions simultaniously, which can expl;ain many of the stranger aspects of its depicted effects (e.g. summoning), and also lends a better appreciation for the complexities inherent to such practices. in its raw form mana is unuseable, existing everywhere and nowhere, everytime, and time out of mind. thus mana becomes more useable and controlable as it approaches its fundamental state as matter.
(speculation, summoning magic is also seen practiced by novices, the tainting ceremony for one, perhaps intelligent extradimentional entities serve to mediate the process?)


>> No.14243110

Then the Drowtales drow say that they mined up the largest piece of warpstone Ever found Ever. Because they're that aw-

Oh, they all mutated, went insane, and died, and the survivors are swarmed by endless skaven who want that stone.

>> No.14243119


that also brings me to spirits, demons, auras, and the 'soul' phenomina, i dont think its unreasonable to assume that a matrix of mana could form some sort of 'logic gate' phenomina in a more ordered state, capable of directing itself through the mana currents of this world, or in the wyrde locations of more fundamental mana (ie, the nethers). the intelligence of a spirit is a function of its power, the more massive the martix, the more nuanced its reasoning can be.

what this means for fey creatures in particular though, i speculate that their bodies have a capability to generate mana from materiels they consume, and the longevity afforded by mana is the body converting it back into ordered matter, it is likely a fey can also subconciously use mana to prevent afflictions such as disease or contamination, but its speculation.
as far as controling and utilizing magic is concerned, their personal mana matrix, or 'aura' is in a semi-ordered state and integral to their physical form, (this may also explain magical creatures increased intelligence compared to a non fey of similar brain capacity), which allows them to take in surrounding mana, and manipulate it for the desired effect.

does anyone who actualy frequent the drowtales forum, or the creator himself, give it this much though? i cant say for certain, but maby i could email it to him to help make his creation more consistent

>> No.14243126

why not have Touhou vs Drowtales?

>> No.14243131

Or worse, Phyrexian Eldrazi. I do not want to face Emrakul with phyresis this century, or any other for that matter.
Never thought I'd say it, but I wish Urza was around, he always had a plane destroying device somewhere.

>> No.14243135

its simple

throw in an expensive gem with the inscription "for the most beautiful of all drow"

Watch the chaos and sell popcorn

>> No.14243139

It varies depending on the composition of the planet and the state of the economy; suffice it to say, it is the single most profitable industry in our entire society.

A proper planet crack would be a far better venture for all parties involved, despite the increased time investment.

With an accompanying USM vessel in orbit and EarthGov marines on standby, the natives should pose no threat.

>> No.14243154

Tzeentch you be-feathered bastard! Is that you?

>> No.14243171

Instead of the total destruction of the drow, maybe we should seek to reform the entire population.

Preferably by injecting 40 liters of distilled liquid MAN into their blood

>> No.14243178

Yesss, this would be the ideal solution for all involved, but I must insist military intervention on the surface be strictly limited to orbital and aerial attacks. The natives have.....proved difficult to subdue in the past, even with substantial military force

>> No.14243181

Infest the planet with Orks.

Let nature take it's course.

Ork's have better tech scaling then the Drow do, they literally gain any tech used against them the second they see it.

Add in the every Ork raid further infests the Underdark with spores, and that Orks are utterly incapable of being slaves for non Orks, And the Drowtales drow are basically given the eternal finger.

>> No.14243185

I still think convincing the Telvanni it's a good place to set up shop will end best, personally.

>> No.14243188

Heh, it says so right on the first and second page of the comic. ;)
Mind you, I can see how not everyone would like the concept. Most people prefer to read about the underdog valiantly fighting against the oppressors, not about the oppressors themselves.

>> No.14243190

Say doesn't Farnsworth have like 30 doomsday devices?

How the fuck are they supposed to deal with a black hole spawning on their planet. Or two.

>> No.14243198

Oh come now, surely not even they would be stupid enough to fall for that old trick. I mean, who really sets off a giant, self-destructive war just to satisfy their own vanity at the expense of their ri-

Hurmmm, good idea.

>> No.14243199


the incredible hulk is a weedy scientist with pent up anger caught in a terrible accident and pursued by a relentless, close minded human military force. No matter how many tanks or jets or men in berets they send after him Bruce Banner eludes them, or smashes his way out when cornered.

He fights the same kind of people DrowTales does, pick a better picture.

>> No.14243202

Liquid man? So either its that pureed human stuff you see in Mass Effect 2, or gallons of cum?

>> No.14243221

We have a suitable vehicle.

>> No.14243227

and how the heck will you get the telvanni to leave their mushroom homes?

just convince vivec the drow are a problem he'll retcon them out of existance

>> No.14243229

Is it too soon to declare this comic the Twilight of drow?

>> No.14243230


Anything that ends with more Telvanni mushroom towers is A-OK with me.

>> No.14243233

What about instead we make Underdark USA?

>> No.14243234


Scroll down.

Hello, /tg/!

>> No.14243243

Ah, excellent! I must say, I am very impressed. A very slick operation indeed. Now, what are you asking for, in terms of monetary outlay?

>> No.14243247

The older Telvanni will have some young, ambitious Telvanni set out to do it before granting them advancement in the House.

Incidentally those are the kind who're likely to be the most ruthless and aggressive.

>> No.14243258

I'll bring up the Asgardian Destroyer once more.

That suit of armour, while being animated only by the essence of a human, one-shotted the Hulk. The Hulk had a lot of time to get pissed off, and the Destroyer had merely grazed him with a normal energy blast. Getting hit with the very edge of that blast took the Hulk down and left him in a pool of his own blood.

That's with a regular human. If an Asgardian was powering it, then everybody would die even worse.

>> No.14243259

why don't you start illustrating a monthly comic about Dorfs being Dorfs?

>> No.14243267

Incite the slave force, then strike as they are recovering from the uprising.

>> No.14243268

Well, that makes that ending a fuckton creepier, thanks for that. 10,000 plus colonists, wanked to death.
I think 'too late' fits better personally

>> No.14243274


We need Drowberham Lincoln to emancipate the slaves and spark an interdrow civil war

>> No.14243277

All that this thread proves to me is that there is not a single fantasy setting that could not benefit from the awesomeness that is House Telvanni.

>> No.14243282

Financial compensation is only necessary for demolition, given the waste of resources in such an operation.

The world's resources are their own reward. Giving us the location of a resource-rich world before competitors learn of it is in itself a welcome service.

>> No.14243283

>The drow are like cats



>> No.14243297

I think everyone would benefit from people making opposite gender clones of themselves

>> No.14243307

>Giving us the location of a resource-rich world before competitors learn of it is in itself a welcome service.
Y'know, there's this moon...

>> No.14243311

Ah, than I am glad to of provided a service to you. Tell, is there a reward? I would gladly kill this planet for free, but as they say profit sweetens all things

>> No.14243315


The Draka Final Society.

My little Pony (and they're pissed)

A fully militarized GSV

>> No.14243316

>>but I wish Urza was around, he always had a plane destroying device somewhere.

I suddenly have the most awesome idea rumbling around in my head.......

>> No.14243325

We should do this.

>> No.14243341

Not sure thats a good idea friend, he was losing a little towards the end. And I think his spark is trapped in Karn, who's now the Father of Machines.
But fuck it, time travel shennigans ho!

>> No.14243346

Gentlemen, you are doing this all wrong.

If you can't outsmart them, you must outidiot them.

>> No.14243350

Won't work. Humans have no ability to learn magic.

A better idea would be to have players make a Drow house that is Weeaboo for human culture. That will troll them to an absurd degree.

>> No.14243359

Consult the Concordance prospecting charter for more information.

>> No.14243363


>> No.14243373

Thou art correct. Let us research TROLL MAGIC!

>> No.14243377

Troll science!

>> No.14243382

Thats the problem, these idiots exist in the underdark, thats how idiotic they are. Frankly, if we go deeper we'll either awaken some kind of idiotic Cthullu or go right around back to utter genius

>> No.14243395




A rebellion would be almost impossible to incite. If it did happen, the forums maintain that it would be squashed almost immeditaely.

>> No.14243401

god damn, it's like you're trolling yourselves over drowtales

That's the problem with /tg/ though, we care too much to really win in thigns like this

>> No.14243406

>put rock in vacuum
>shine flashlight on it
>light pushes flashlight because there's no friction
>rock hits Drow planet at the speed of light
>planet destroyed
Problem, Drow?

>> No.14243419

Okay, what bothers me the most about this isn't the author stealing a D&D idea and making it even lamer than what it already was.

What bothers me most isn't the awful mary-sue society and "what's bad is good" nerd power fulfillment combined with cutesey-kawaii shit that makes up the bottom tier of fanboy fantasy fulfillment.

What bothers me most is the statement "it's difficult to make green things without sunlight".

Green things don't grow underground, but not because you can't make green without sunlight. It's that chlorophyll is very expensive metabolically and it makes no sense to make it if there's no sunlight to absorb.

If you're a marysuevilization, you can fucking make magic green dye for chrissakes.

>> No.14243429

Can't you just kill the author?

>> No.14243434

I submit to you another way of dealing with them.

>> No.14243452

Create a character with a doorstopper description and backstory full of troll logic so insane you'll hurt your brain by writing it. (Alternatively, get really drunk/high before writing it)

Post it on their forum.

Challenge all rebuttals with an equal rebuttal based on their own idiot logic.

>> No.14243464

ignore them and they cease to exist in your world.

>> No.14243465




>> No.14243469

Call the Krogans

>> No.14243470

So, convince /v/ to go there?

>> No.14243494

Huggers produce xenomorphs based on their victims DNA, you'd just create slimy hissing mary sue drow

>> No.14243504

>at the speed of light
That means it is become light.
Which means you are effectively shining a flashlight at them. Good job.

>> No.14243507


I heard you need security.

>> No.14243524

Let's go with a Marker, so they can fight the reanimated, rotting corpses of their friends and lovers.

>> No.14243526

or magical xenomorphs

>> No.14243543

Get outta here, nerd!

>> No.14243551

To eradicate the Drow, contract a large number of Monks/Ninjas. Seriously. Their defensive abilities are the bane of all Dark Elf tactics: Poison? Disease? Stealth? Running away? Fuck em, they ain't got shit. You want to tell me their attack bonuses aren't enough? How many high-AC Drow have YOU ever seen?

This, too. A Krogan Monk built around charging would be lethal amounts of badass.

>> No.14243566


Intelligence is nothing to be ashamed of.

>> No.14243587

>get humans to settle on planet
> first settlers under constant harassment from drow, but lasguns and bolters keep them away
>drow get considered abhumans, but are allowed to be a part of the imperium
>things are going better than expected
> suddenly, call a black crusade on the planet
> troll the imperium so much they call down psi-titans
>planet covered in corpses of humans, super humans, and daemons.
>drow are crushed by the weight and drown underneath

>> No.14243591


They solved the rachni problem didn't they? And being damn ugly as they are, there is less chance for this to backfire and they become the next fanfic fagotry.

>> No.14243604

>choose to fight despite overwhelming odds
>human race is essentially extinct
>drow have no more human slaves because humanity decides to die rather than lose it's dignity

I believe this would actually happen with a majority of the population of earth. I know I would rather die than be enslaved.

>> No.14243611

Take Krogan. Give em RIGs adapted for Krogan use, with stasis and kinesis modules, then give 'em some fun stuff like Rippers, Flamethrowers, Pulse Rifles, etc.

Sit back and watch the fun.

>> No.14243622

History says you're wrong.

>> No.14243658

Rachni are basically outer space spiders, IE sci-fi followers of Llolth. So you've already got a plot hook.

>> No.14243663

There has been some discussions about mana and the fae auras, especially since demons/nether beings summoners get/call/persuade from portals opened to the Nether are etheral and feed on mana.
(Weaponized use of demons that got out of control was what made the dark elves flee underground and turn into drow.)

Some wonder if there is some connection there, between the nether beings and the fae, but I don't think I've seen such an in-depth hypothesis on the nature of mana itself.
Very interesting though.

To add to your info for further specualtion:
The fae auras produce mana (somewhat like body heat), but their bodies also need mana in order to stay young and healthy.
It's not that they produce excess mana, it's more that there's a constant bleedoff from their aura.
As a dow ages they need more and more mana to keep their youth and health. Being deprived of mana starts to age them much like a human would do (though at a somewhat slower rate).

If enough drow gather together, the bleedoff from their auras forms "pools" of mana large enough to sustain drow into much longer lives than if they had been on their own.
As such, there are dark elves still alive that lived through the cataclysm (when the weaponized nether beings went rogue and almost destroyed their ability to live on the surface for quite some time) that forced them underground.
The backside of this is that their auras are so large/dense by this point that they literally need a whole city to stay young and healthy.

>> No.14243720

Reply split in two. Part 1:

The exact number on how many drow are needed for a pool large enough to halt the aging is unknown, as is the exact number for a 'city' needed to uphold the youth of a milennia old fae.
Also, the numbers vary with individuals. Weaker and/or younger individuals might reach 'sustainable pool' numbers more quickly since their need of mana isn't as great, and vice versa.

Even with their age though, it's pretty rare that a drow live past 200. The statistics for plain old fatal accidents tend to kill people off before they get much older
Those that do become older (say 300-400 and up) often become quite powerful though.

>> No.14243755

Is it not obvious, my Comrades? We send in the Red Army!


>> No.14243771




>> No.14243778

We did this once, look for Spetznatz in the underdark on suptg

>> No.14243785

Agent Orange will fuck their shit


the fire that doesn't burn!

>> No.14243813

perhaps mana parasites?

>> No.14243822

Your tutor has arrived

>> No.14243897

fires all weapons

spare none

>> No.14243961

I would create a shitty Mary Sue character for their shitty Mary Sue setting. I would make it conform to all their shitty Mary Sue rules and be a good little drow. I would play it as loyal and trustworthy and capable, and have it be acepted into a position of trust. And then I would assassinate the leaders of the houses and plunge their society into chaos.

I would, but I'm too lazy.

>> No.14244008

rid their planet of it's atmosphere?

>> No.14244051


>> No.14244052

Not as much defending as providing info. I'm not Kern though. I'm the same guy who visited in the Drowtales thread back in november 2010. ;)

A krogan with biotic charge who favours unarmed combat...
I like it! :)

Actually, something like this is used as a tactic by one of the drow factions. They use nether summoning to bring over a bunch of low-intelligence* nether beings, have them possess a bunch of drow commoners and use the resulting demons as a combination of cannon fodder and psychological warfare against their enemies.

*There are nether beings with high intelligence too, but they usually have to be persuaded or bribed to cross over.
The low-intelligence ones can be forced to cross or mob rush through the gate to get to all that tasty food (mana and auras).

>> No.14244079

>>14244051god how horrible

>> No.14244134

You know, for the hatred the Fae of this setting get, they aren't that different from IRL humans. Humans have the highest intelligence of any known creature, and they have something others don't (sentience). Because of their hands, a human's ability to use tools is far superior to that of any other animal. Their medicine (a result of intelligence and tool use) makes them live freakishly long. And if Homo Sapiens are good at one thing, it's killing. Humans are weak, but they have weapons that can kill from a great distance giving the other animal no chance of retaliation or even even seeing the face of their predator. They've made entire other species cease to exist without even trying.

>> No.14244166


a hundred times yes

>> No.14244289


Except there's no other creature on Earth a human can hold an actual conversation with. No other creature on Earth has any notable intelligence beyond extremely basic tasks essential to their survival, with maybe a *little* else if they're domesticated.

Humans, as compared to Fae in DT are sentient, though not necessarily as intelligent, as accorded by the fucking retarded author.

He fails to understand something.

The pinnacle of humanity is a human at war. Almost all modern technology is something reverse-engineered from something developed for military purposes.

Think about it. We live on a planet populated by creatures stronger, faster, and larger than us. Thousands of diseases fester on this little ball of dust we call home. There has never truly been a time of peace between all human beings. Perhaps, from an alien's point of view, we're tough as shit creatures down to our bones.

Go read 'The Road Not Taken', by Harry Turtledove. It's not even a chapter long. You'll see what I mean.


>> No.14244290


that still begs the question of *where is it comming from*, it dosent realy make sense if they arnt the ones producing it, unless they are drawing it from another plane as a function of manas multi dimentional nature.

as for aging, they are still biological organisms, and the effects of oxidation can probably become too great past a certain point, needing more and more mana to reform the disrupted matter within their bodies.

>> No.14244350

fuck yeah

>> No.14244435

Its drow magic, I aint gotta explain shit

>> No.14244459


I'm not saying war is perfect, nor that it's desirable. Death is one of the direct products of war, and anyone who fails to understand that is mentally frail.

What I'm saying is that when war happens to come around, capitalize upon it. Put assloads into R&D. The more we can squeeze outta that, the more peacetime technology we'll have available to us. Heartless as it may seem, it's an absolutely indisputable fact. When have the greatest periods of scientific discovery occurred?

During and directly proceeding large-scale conflict.

>> No.14244599


you have no idea just how much that phrase upsets me, or the madness and retardation that is the result if it is taken to its logical conclusion (ex, almost any freeform rp ever)

>> No.14244708

Not even always war, just- conflict. Challenges. Problems. Things you can work directly to solve. Things that motivate you to strive to improve.
Give a man a fish, he'll eat for a day. Try to take a mans fish, he'll try to beat the shit out of you, and if he can't, he'll find another way of doing it. Hell, that's pretty much why we have tech, while all the species who can fucking shred us with their claws or eat us if we go swimming or what-not are stuck at a maximum tech level of "hey look, sticks!"

>> No.14244727

I didn't say it was a bad thing

>> No.14244745


>> No.14244966

>post picture of graveyard
>claiming he didn't imply that war is a bad thing

Sure timmy, now go sit in the corner, adults are talking.

>> No.14245043

>Enslaves human population
>Captives held abused under tyrant Drow boot
>Need a heroic leader to unite under and champion cause




ALL must die.

You and I, Mason... We are the same.


>> No.14245053

I was under the impression that the story was told from the Drow's perspective. OP's pic seems like something a drow would say, ignoring their own crimes. It seems Drowtales' forum-goers and perhaps even the series' goddamn author have started drinking the drow Kool-Aide.

>> No.14245082


...that's *it*? That's the explanation? No discussion of the mechanics of the magic? Just 'FUCKING MAGIC, THAT'S HOW IT WORKS'?

...how does this man continue to have an audience?

>> No.14245089




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