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14073304 No.14073304 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Hey guys. I was wondering what you all thought of the embryonic stages of my work-in-progress set.
I apologise for the lack of artin the ics, but I'm trying to draw them and replacements for the existing ones and have no scanner atm.

Oh, and don't worry. I'm not Latias !!6Yt1vvHfdEj. I can take a hit to my pride when it comes to my supar speshul snowflake cards.
If you want background I'm happy to give it to you all, but only if you ask. I'll not bore you with unnecessary deatils if you wish it not to happen.

>> No.14073334
File: 775 KB, 1128x1572, Set part 1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Continuan with secon half of this bit

>> No.14073360

vampiric mastery should read "When a creature you control deals combat damage to an opponent, you gain that much life." or something.

the locust warriors if it was kicked at all it gets +0/+1 thing is kinda cramming it on. Plus, it makes the math of the card more complicated than it needs to be.

Same thing with worlds apart.

>> No.14073398
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y u so bad at magic /tg/

>> No.14073417

that osmdu land card is broken for two reasons.
first and foremost, it can be used as a channel. Any card that can convert life directly into mana repeatedly is going to be crazy, but putting it on a land? oof.
Secondly, the effect, as you don't need to tap it to pay 1 life can be used as soon as the land is down. this means that, turn 0, you have 19 mana.
combined with a drain life spell or two, and this would make a reliable turn 0 kill.

>> No.14073418

So, with Worlds apart, how to fix?
Remove the choice of +1/+0 and +0/+1, replacing it with +0/+1, probably.
And the multikicker is changed, thanks!

>> No.14073437

What an oversight!

I deeply apologise for this shit-heap of a broken ruling. Limit it to one time per turn? Steepen the cost? Remove secondary? I think you're gonna suggest to remove the secondary and make it essentially like an Esper land, but in the hopes of something else...

>> No.14073586
File: 39 KB, 375x523, Osmdu.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Well, with Osmdu, I plan to make it such now:
Pay 1 life, T: Add W, U, or B to your mana pool.
Sacrifice a basic land as you play Osmdu or Sacrifice Osmdu.

Also, just for quality control... pic

>> No.14073601
File: 24 KB, 632x467, 1294149543679.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>cards made up with no real cohesion
>colours added slap-dash to cards
>Massive broken loopholes

>> No.14073604

>Oh, and don't worry. I'm not Latias !!6Yt1vvHfdEj. I can take a hit to my pride when it comes to my supar speshul snowflake cards.

Hmm? I've changed my cards multiple times based on constructive criticism, and I admitted they were flawed. What are you talking about?

>> No.14073609
File: 40 KB, 375x523, Sandro Vannus the Mercy killer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Also, a new planeswalker (again).
Just in the hopes of some opinions on him. Wanna make him... well... so you would play it.

>> No.14073635

Oh my god these cards...
lrn2balance and make cards, then get back to us.

>> No.14073642

I did kinda think they needed an overhaul, but not sure where...
Let's see, where are the BIGGEST problems? I can guess you say there's too many to mention, so just the big ones and I'll attempt to go from there, k?

>> No.14073671


First of all, your wording needs work [ex; vampiric mastery]. Second of all, what is with the seemingly random mana costs? Lots of hybrid/multicolor [not to mention really hard to cast] costs.
Finally, some of this shit is totally broken. Ashen Wastes would see some serious, serious play. The asdf Infiltrator would see some Legacy play in some Ninjutsu builds and maybe in Vintage in fish. Osmundu is the most broken land I have ever, ever seen. Just make it an esper painland or something.

>> No.14073681

Gotcha. Back to the drawing board.
Cheers for that much, and I'll hopefully have better stuff next time I waste your time! :D

>> No.14073730


Attempting proper formatting, grammar, and wording helps significantly with the appearance of your cards and make it look better. You don't have to have the wording 100% perfect from the start, but it's good to try for clean wording that's similar to precedents set by existing MtG cards. You can often find how precedents are worded by doing a text search in the Gatherer.

Tip: Keywords come before all other abilities.

I would recommend not using custom mana symbols, it simply makes them harder to read at a glance.

Ashen Wastes is a useless card. It taps and then taps another land to make... mana that any land can make. Any two normal lands would do the same thing, but also make coloured mana if you needed it.

Named as Calai is very clunky and doesn't need a drawback given its cost compared with other "you control enchanted creature" auras, it might as well just be "you control enchanted creature".

Osmdu would be the best land card ever printed, if it were printed. I recommend making it only tap for one type of mana, and the pay life ability because pay 1 life, tap, add one of these 3 colours.

There's more, but I'll get around to it in a little while.

>> No.14073777

>and the pay life ability because pay 1 life, tap, add one of these 3 colours.

Becomes, not because.

Oh, and keep in mind the color chart when assigning mana costs. For example, Named as Calai is a bit strange, as stealing creatures is a distinctly red/blue effect, not white/black. Consider changing it to 2UR, perhaps. You might have flavour/set design reasons for the mana costs I might be unaware of though, in which case nevermind everything.

>> No.14073807


this is me

Your color pie is a bit off, with the dragons and dragon-riders being in blue/white, as well as vigilance on that b/u card. Vigilance is a white mechanic that occasionally splashes to green, and dragons are very red and tend to stay red for the most part.

Adaptation is a pretty neat mechanic, but you may have to increase its costs, as it turns mirror-matches into races if it is priced too low.

Mount is a neat idea that i've seen a few people try to do, but i think that it causes a few problems with the gamestate. What happens if the creature is destroyed or bounced out from under the mount? As a creature, there is no rule forcing it to go to the graveyard if its target dies.

i think that the "mount" idea could be done differently by putting reinforce and a "until end of turn" ability on the card. For instance, reinforce X (rules text)-linebreak-when CARDNAME reinforces a creature, that creature gains (ability) until end of turn.

>> No.14073973

I'll clarify that mounts paid for as such are killed too then. There is ONE mount which can be used as a mount, then paid for again to be a separate creature for the same mana, but less a turn and over a couple... But the others are fused forever, I'll just say that it's an Aura instead when it gets played; not a creature, ya?

And Copper dragons were always about the trickery, weren't they? Also island hopping and near water a lot anyway?
I only added the white as a little nod to ValTen. Being the God of the people and a divine influence, the Dragons they tame are mainly tamed by the priests.

Will make it a bit clearer for the next set and not so disco-ball in colours.

>> No.14074103


Latias here, just checking to see if you have me on an ignore list perhaps? I've provided advice that you seemed to ignore, and you seem to have something against me for some reason I'm not sure of.

>> No.14074139

No, not ignoring you. Simply busy for a bit there.
Your proposals DO make sense, but the Osmdu thing was addressed, I was not aware of any custom mana symbols, Named as Calai was (after your mention) chucked out as there was no way I could effectively portray what was in mind, and stuff.

>> No.14074173
File: 40 KB, 375x523, UthAkrean shores.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Oh, and what if this one?

>> No.14074182


I am aware that Omsdu was addressed, but I still wanted to provide my own suggestion as to what it should be, that would make it a good land card while still keeping similar functionality to the original version.

I was going to provide more advice but you said you'll be going back to the drawing board, so I'll wait until you post some new/updated cards for that.

>> No.14074198


It would make a viable sideboard card in a metagame with a strong deck featuring islandwalk. It would probably be underpowered outside of that, though.

>> No.14074228

Good. Too powerful = bad, yeah?
Thus I shall try and make the cards as far beneath the new canon cards as possible while still playable.
By gimping myself, I will reach a consensus!
I say this with a smile, btw.

And the drawing board actually includes killing the old ones and re-making them from scratch aaaaaall over again. Don't hold your breath.

>> No.14074247


Honestly, I think you could get away with making it come into play untapped while still being balanced. It's not a particularly powerful effect, and it's still not strictly better than an Island because it's not basic land - island, meaning it doesn't have the interaction with other cards Islands do. Plus, you can only have 4 of them.

>> No.14074297

Well then, are there any troubles with the two planeswalkers? This is asked with honest desire to make them playable.

>> No.14074358

Sandro is very much white and not very much green, if you're going to keep him multicoloured at all, remove the hybrid making it 1GWW. Wording could use some work.

+2: Gain 2 life. You may remove a poison counter.

No precedents here as this would be the first card to be able to remove poison to my knowledge, but this wording is better than what you had.

-2: Put target creature from your graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. It gains shroud. At the beginning of your upkeep, place a mandate counter on each creature put onto the battlefield this way.

First two lines have precedent, third doesn't. Made a best guess to wording.

-5: Creatures you control get +2/+2 and gain vigilance until end of turn.

Very obvious precedent; just swapping +3/+3 with +2/+2 and trample with vigilance from Overrun and Overrun abilities.

I'll do your other planeswalker in a bit, bouncing back and forth between this thread and my thread.

>> No.14074363

or even add some other extremely minor penalty... something like pay 1 life unless you control an island, or tapped unless you control an island. Just as a slight nudge in the direction of "basic lands are good!"

>> No.14074407

Eventually, these 'mandated' creatures are to leave the battlefield forever, no longer castable or recalled. Hence the "when a creature has as many mandate counters as its current toughness, exile it".

>> No.14074441


Aye, yeah, that was my mistake. I meant to to put it in but thought I did without actually doing it at some point.

-2: Put target creature from your graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. It gains shroud. At the beginning of your upkeep, place a mandate counter on each creature put onto the battlefield this way. A creature gets -0/-1 for each mandate counter on it. When a creature with a mandate counter would leave the battlefield, exile it instead.

A bit clunky, I think, but it works.

>> No.14074502

-2: Put target creature from your graveyard onto the battlefield under your control. It gains shroud. At the beginning of your upkeep, place a mandate counter on each creature put onto the battlefield this way. A creature gets -0/-1 for each mandate counter on it. When a creature with a mandate counter would leave the battlefield, exile it instead.

I see your point, but with that in mind, the need to place a counter on each mandated creature in each upkeep is redundant. Perhaps, just like this?
>-2: Put target creature from your graveyard onto the battlefield under your control with a mandate counter on it. A creature gets a cumulative -0/-1 for each mandate counter on it every upkeep, and has Shroud. When a creature with a mandate counter would leave the battlefield, exile it instead.

How's that?

>> No.14074517


That'll work, yeah.

>> No.14074551

Alright, time for the other planeswalker. First ability and second ability could probably be swapped for loyalty counters gained/lost. Alternatively, first ability could be put to +1 and starting loyalty could be put down to 3. Second ability needs better wording. Third ability is ridiculous, but is easily salvageable. Simply change it to play one creature instead of every creature of that CMC. Needs rewording too. Let me know if you need help with rewording those two abilities.

>> No.14074574


Oh, and I forgot to mention. I'd remove the hybrid blue from the mana cost. and replace it with either b and w or more b/w b/w hybrids.

>> No.14074597

Well, how's...
>+1 Target player loses 2 life and you gain 2 life.
>-2 You gain control of target enchantment. If the enchantment is an Aura, you may place it on another target.
>-X Search your library for a Mochtahr creature with converted mana cost of X, play it without paying its mana cost. Shuffle your library afterwards.
Basically, the aura jacking is meant to be like "Oh, well, nice Lifelink-MINE! AND ON /THIS/ GUY INSTEAD!"
How would you suggest I word that feel? I think this is a better portrayal.

>> No.14074611

OR just 3 B/U?
I've a mind to remake the mochtahr as a colourless army with a touch of Black/Blue. But one or two legendaries with a bit of white thanks to their history.

ValTen is there for the Mochtahr, but he's wandered the earth for eons before he made them. He'll help anyone convincing enough.

>> No.14074637


>-X: Search your library for a Mochtahr creature card with a converted mana cost of X and put it onto the battlefield. Then shuffle your library.

My comments about the mana cost were just considering the colour wheel, however exceptions can be made to the colour wheel when you're doing fluffy flavourful stuff like that. I simply had no knowledge of what you were planning there.

>> No.14074697

Think like Sarkhan the Mad, but not with Dragons. I've seen a few dragons of all colours, shapes, and sizes. ValTen summons and brings Mochtahr forth in a similar fashion.

Also, how about a Sorcery along the lines of:
>ValTen's wish
>Sorcery, costs 2U
>Exile target equipment. Place a 0/0 Blue Fish creature token under that Equipment's controller;s control.
Or just, y'know... Target equipment is a fish.

>> No.14074736


Toughness zero creatures automatically die, so it'd have to be 0/1, you know. Honestly you could have that card cost 1 or U and an instant, when you compare it with other artifact hate like Naturalize, which is an instant that goes for all artifacts as well as enchantments at 1G. Doesn't exile them but exiling equipment is considerably less useful than exiling creatures.

Look up Pongify and use that card's wording, except with exile and your token in place of destroy, can't be regenerated, and ape token.

>> No.14074746

I know that toughness 0 creatures die. I want the fish to die. Picture an emaciated and bewildered Magikarp and you will understand.

>> No.14074752


Well, it's not like Magikarps just die from being around. They flop around being useless, which is basically what a 0/1 fis token does. Add a clause stating that it can't block if you want to make it even more useless.

>> No.14074770

Nah, I pictured this epic hero wave about his epic sword like an ultrabro at ValTen and he just pulls the Metatron line from Dogma, "What, are you going to hit me with that.... fish?"
And then the epic sword becomes a trout, a dying one because there's no water around.
And it dies, along with herobro's hopes and dreams, sort of.

>> No.14074774


Alright, I gotcha.

>> No.14074800

By the way, feel free to contact me via e-mail in the future for anything related to working on magic cards. I enjoy working with other people on cards (hence my gigantic PokeMTG project).

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