Quantcast
[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!

/tg/ - Traditional Games


View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
[ERROR] No.13833567 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

A cultist of Chaos Undivided makes up an incredibly convoluted plan to manipulate and bring an innocent imperial to chaos. The final stage of this plan is to get said said imperial into a threesome with another cultist. Everything goes exactly as planned, a great time is had by all, and the imperial is turned to chaos and chooses to follow Slaanesh. Which chaos god is more pleased; Tzeentch or Slaanesh?

>> No.13833623

Tzeentch is always more pleased than the other Gods. Allow me to quote:

"Don't you see? My Master Tzeentch cares not which of the Great Powers of Chaos you serve.


In the end, aren't the followers of the Blood God changing valiant warriors into headless corpses?
Aren't the worshippers of the Lord of Flies changing strong, healthy bodies into rotting, diseased carcasses?
Aren't the disciples of the Dark Prince changing stern, steadfast heroes into slaves to their own senses?

Chaos is a struggle to change, you must agree. Change rules all."


Tzeentch is the essence of Chaos. :P So Tzeentch is always pleased.

"JUST AS PLANNED," and all that.

>> No.13833653

>>13833623
Yeah, but he *feeds* on hope.

So, is no hope produced? Then not really.

>> No.13833672

>>13833653

Don't all servants of the Gods hope for success, hope for greater power, hope to bring glory to their gods?

>> No.13833677

>>13833623
Then that kind of means that all Chaos Champions are Champions of Tzeentch... Thinking of Kharn that way kind of makes my brain hurt.

>> No.13833719

while we're on the subject of chaos gods, i've got a question: why does slaanesh have warriors? i know that her followers do everything in excess, and if fighting gives them the greatest pleasure, then that's pretty much all they'll do. but if that's the case, why wouldn't they just devote themselves to khorne? khorne is completely devoted to fighting, slaanesh not so much.

>> No.13833732

>>13833653
One would think there would be a great amount hope from the cultist whose plan it was, considering the personal gratification as well as bringing another into the fold for their gods.

>> No.13833734

>>13833677

And now, child, you begin to see. Embrace this pain, it is the pain of enlightenment!

Pic related to Tzeentch's reaction.

>> No.13833752

>>13833719
My guess is because they engage in battle for pleasure. Khornate followers don't necessarily gain pleasure from fighting, but simply fight and kill for the sake of fighting and killing.

>> No.13833757

>>13833719
Slanneshi warriors strive to be perfect.
Khornate warriors strive to be the BEST!

There is a subtle difference.

>> No.13833782

Its a trick. The cultists have a STD's from the Imperial. Grandfather Nurgle is a happy Grandfather.

>> No.13833801

>>13833782

Then they plotted and planned to bring this about. Tzeentch is still pleased.

>> No.13833811

>>13833719
My... less civilized colleague does not see battle the same way as me and my followers do.

To my followers, combat is a way to get an adrenaline rush, and pitch your skill against another, improving yourself and gaining the spoils of war.

To my colleague, battle is battle. They fight for the sake of fighting.

>>13833677
You know, by this logic.
Followers of Nurgle are happy with their God's love.
Tzeentch followers seek to improve themselves, and make themselves happier.
Followers of Khorne love battle, save for the ones that have completely lost their minds.
All men then serve me in the end.

Nurgle can make a similar argument, what with all men eventually dying.
Though he should run that by my friend Lucius.
Lucius the -Eternal-

>> No.13833830

do women's periods feed khorne's power?

>> No.13833842

>>13833811

People hope to be happy before they are happy, stripling. They hope to find a way to escape death, they hope to become a better warrior, a better scholar, a better lover, a better scientist.

They hope for peace and they hope for war. They hope their plans come to fruition, and they hope their enemies' plans falter and fail.

In the end, I am served, most of all.
Oh, and that thing you did, giving the Chalice to Khorne? Hilarious, brother. Simply hilarious. How did you -plan- that one?

>> No.13833864

>>13833801

They planned to get an STD? Circular logic is quite misleading.

>> No.13833865

>>13833842
I just kinda threw it together and -hoped- for the best.

Did you -enjoy- it?

>> No.13833880

>>13833842

I enjoyed it and I hated it in equal measure. I am a being of eternal contradictions. You should know that, young Prince. Remember last night?

>> No.13833905

>>13833880
You of all people should know time has know meaning to us. What do you mean "last night"?

>> No.13833925

>>13833905

What do you mean by "people?" This public forum is greatly limiting when it comes to vocabulary.

>> No.13833930

>>13833925
>one manifestation of my face when this whole discussion.

>> No.13833944

BUT WHO WAS CULTIST?
...
....
.....
......
ME. I WAS CULTIST. CHAOS WAS NOT SERVED.

>> No.13833949

>>13833757
I WANNA BE THE BEST
LIKE NO ONE EVER WAS
TO DECAPITATE THEM IS MY TEST
TO SLAUGHTER THEM IS MY CAUSE
I WILL TRAVEL THE GALAXY
SEARCHING FAR AND WIDE
EACH CHAMPION TO UNDERSTAND
THE BLOODLUST THAT'S INSIDE
BESERKERS
ITS YOU AND ME
I KNOW ITS MY DESTINY
OOH YOU'RE MY BEST FIGHT
IN A WORLD I MUST RAVAGE
BESERKERS
A HEART SO LOST
OUR BLOODLUST WILL PULL IS THROUGH
YOU CHARGE ME AND I'LL CHARGE YOU
BESERKERS
EVERY CHALLENGE ALONG THE WAY
WITH BRAVADO I WILL FACE
I WILL BATTLE EVERYDAY
TO CLAIM MY RIGHTFUL PLACE
COME WITH ME THE TIME IS RIGHT
THERE'S NO BETTER HATE
ARM OR ARMLESS WE'LL WIN THE FIGHT
KHORNE CARES NOT WHERE THE BLOOD FLOOOOOOOWWWWWWWS
BESERKERS
ITS YOU AND ME
I KNOW ITS MY DESTINY
BESERKERS
OOH YOU'RE MY BEST FIGHT
IN A WORLD I MUST RAVAGE
BESERKERS
A HEART SO LOST
OUR BLOODLUST WILL PULL US THROUGH
YOU CHARGE ME AND I'LL CHARGE YOU
BESERKERS

BESERKERS
ITS YOU AND ME
I KNOW ITS MY DESTINY
BESERKERS
OOH YOU'RE MY BEST FOE
IN A WORLD I MUST RAVAGE
BESERKERS
A HEART SO LOST
OUR BLOODLUST WILL PULL US THROUGH
YOU CHARGE ME AND I'LL CHARGE YOU
BLOOD
FOR
THE BLOOD
GOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOD

>> No.13833951

Inb4 Malal

>> No.13833960

Malal. Just look at this thread.

>>13833951
Get out of here, Malal.

>> No.13833963

>>13833811
Khorne's greatest champions do not fight merely for the sake of fighting and killing. The hallmarks of Khorne are violence, killing, and MARTIAL PRIDE. Khornate champions like Kharn the Betrayer find the greatest satisfaction in finding and defeating the strongest enemies they can in a straight up, fair match in hand to hand, where only the strongest and best warrior can win.

While we typically see the "virtues" of each Chaos God taken to the extreme in their followers, be under no illusions - the qualities of the gods of Chaos are all HUMAN VIRTUES, not vices.

Khorne feeds on the emotions of martial pride, honor, and the determination of warriors to prove their prowess and superiority on the field of battle.

Tzeentch feeds on the human emotions of planning, ambition, evolution, and desire for change and power.

Slaanesh feeds on the human desire to enjoy life - the appreciation of art, music, sound, pleasure, and perfection.

Nurgle feeds on death - the one universal rule of the universe. Everything must die. His gift is nothing more than nature. He feeds on the desire of all living things to AVOID that death - which is a virtue of its own.

>> No.13833978

>>13833623

You're telling me that Tzeench is more pleased

than the Dark God of Pleasure?

By sheer virtue of Tzeench's pleasure

would Slaanesh grow more powerful.

Therefore I humbly submit that such an idea

would be impossible.

He is by definition the most pleased God of all.

>> No.13833984

>>13833978
This pleases me.

>> No.13833985

>>13833963
you're an idiot trying to cling to any sort of happy thing in a setting designed to just be absolutely depressive and grim.
even the prices are trying to warn you

>> No.13833990

>>13833944

*kicks a ball of Warp at the Deceiver*

Go away.

>>13833930

Picture related.

>> No.13834006

>>13833990
We should totally find a marine legion to follow both of us and make them use that as their emblem.

I hear there's some psyker chapter having issues with a Nurgle Daemon. Maybe we can capitalize on that.

>> No.13834011

>>13833944
mfw when Tzeentch was the Deceiver all along.

>> No.13834026

>>13833978

My brothers are still just a bit stung by the fact that it took the three of them to break my staff.

>> No.13834036

>>13834026
That was bullshit and you know it.

>> No.13834037

>>13833960
Speaking of, how are Malal cultists treated by the Imperium?

I mean, all they do is kill other chaos followers after all, right?

>> No.13834041

>>13833978
Mind=blown

>> No.13834043

>>13834006

I believe that I am okay with this.

Especially because it spits in Nurgle's...eye socket. Or whatever he has.

>> No.13834044

>>13834037
Malal doesn't really exist.
Ask him yourself.
He doesn't have any cultists either. You can even ask them.

>> No.13834048

>>13834037

The Emperor is Malal.

>> No.13834054

>>13834043
You can find his eyes?
I recognized a lump that might have been his head... but I saw nothing that resembled eyes in that mess.

Wish he'd let that poor Isha girl go. She looks so sad, I just want to cheer her up.

>> No.13834055

>>>13834036

It's okay, dear brother. It annoyed Khorne to no end.

I still remind him sometimes, just for the reaction. I can hear him from all the way in my library.

>> No.13834056

>>13834037
No, they fuck with everyone. Malal is chaos for the sake of chaos. (Note that I don't capitalize the word chaos.) If Malal had an alignment it would be chaotic chaotic.

>> No.13834062

>>13833830

Menstrual blood for the Period God?

>> No.13834071

>>13834054

No. You just want to devour her like you did most of her brethren. Good show and all that. Good way to make an "entrance", in terms of the Materium.

Of course, this being the Immaterium, you've been here all along, but still. I do so love watching the mortals.

>> No.13834078

>>13834062
Well I certainly don't think it pleases Slaanesh. Nurgle, maybe. OH GOD WHY AM I ACTUALLY ANALYZING THIS

>> No.13834092

>>13834048
The Emperor is the Deciever.

>> No.13834103

>>13834092
More like the Deceiver is the Emperor, the Deceiver is Malal and Malal is Tzeentch.

>> No.13834106

>>13834103

I like you. Are you me?

>> No.13834115

>>13834071
You think me so callous? Have you seen the poor girl? I know you can't stand the big guy, but she is beautiful. A work of art, flawless.

Oh dear me I'm salivating just thinking about it.

>>13834078
Well, considering it's necessary for pregnancy, I think Nurgle would approve, being the Chaos god of Life and all.
Of course it is blood.
And it makes girls RANDY.

So I think Tzeentch is the only one of that doesn't get something out of a girl on the rag.

>> No.13834127

>>13834106
But m'lord, aren't you everyone?

>> No.13834129

>>13834115

Women plot and scheme with such viciousness and such skill that surely Tzeentch himself shaped them.

>> No.13834138

>>13834127

Then who was Alpharius?

>> No.13834143

>>13834115

As far as Isha goes, dear brother, your infatuations never last.

As far as menstrual blood, it certainly changes the mood of the woman, as well as those around her. Indeed, the more tactful mortal males seem to plan their months around that week.


A thought occurs - all human women bleed once a month, for about one terran week. Do you think our rather simple brother Khorne's anger can be derived from this portion of the bloodflow? It is certainly reflected in the females.

>> No.13834150

>>13834127

You're definitely me. Or I'm you. We'll settle for we are we. Hello, me.

>> No.13834162

Don't be ridiculous. There's no such thing as a "god".

>> No.13834171

>>13834143
You think Khorne's just constantly on the rag?

I never considered that before.

I'll see if I can get Nurgle to ask him(her?) about it.

Not because I expect an answer mind you, but I want to see what he does and you're certainly not going to do it.

>> No.13834173

I've just realized something.

The Warhammer 40K setting...
...It's Pantheistic Solipsism.

>> No.13834180

>>13834143
Once a month all human females gain 1d10 corruption points and 2d10 insanity points.

>> No.13834182

>>13834162
Really now?

Well then, by all means, stow away on an imperial ship going into the warp, and hit the off switch to the Gellar field.

I'll show you, personally, what it means to be a God(dess).

>> No.13834183

>>13834171

What, ask Nurgle.

Fuck that guy. He's a jerk. As far as asking Khorne, I could always send the Changeling, disguised as, I don't know, a skull or something.

>> No.13834193

>>13834183
Or we could get Nurgle to do it and see how far Khorne can make his innards fly.

Don't tell me that wouldn't entertain you.

>> No.13834197

>>13834182

Oh, such an idea. You can be decidedly devious at times.

>> No.13834201

>>13834182
Ah, yes "the Warp". A realm of "daemons" that feed on emotion allegedly outside of reality. I have dismissed such claims.

>> No.13834203

>>13834150
Hello we

>> No.13834207

>>13834162
Shut up, Necoho, you don't even make any sense.

>> No.13834209

>>13834197
We're spending entirely too much time together for my own good. You're rubbing off on me.

I grow weary of it, actually. And now I take my leave of it.

>> No.13834213

>>13834193

It would amuse me, yes, to no end, in fact...but another thought occurs, Slaanesh. What happens if our suppositions are correct?

>> No.13834219

>>13834209
>You're rubbing off on me.
I just realized what I said and it pleases me.

>>13834201
Go ahead and test them, then, since there is no danger in it.

>> No.13834221

>>13834182
Ah, Prince of Pleasure, he's a god, too. Of a sort. Ish.
He's god of atheism. How that works, I have no idea.

>> No.13834224

>>13834209

Do come again, dear brother, whenever you wish to talk. I'll be staring into eternity.

>> No.13834231

>>13834201
Everyone knows who you are, and frankly, this seems counterproductive. You're the chaos god of atheism, and a quick google search will reveal that. Frankly, you really shouldn't be posting, as your power increases the less people know of you.

>> No.13834232

>>13834213
It would explain Khorne's tsundere-ness for me, at any rate.

However, for the second time, Adieu.

>> No.13834233

>>13834219
Utter silence and deadness.
Doesn't seem very dangerous to me.

>> No.13834239

>>13834231
You mean you believe such claptrap? Don't be ridiculous.

>> No.13834243

>>13834239

You're such an amusing little thing.

>> No.13834246

I love this thread so much.

>> No.13834254

>>13834246

It loves you, little soul.

>> No.13834260

>>13834243
Hmph. You expect me to believe you are a "god", too?

>> No.13834261

>>13834260

There you go again. So funny!

>> No.13834263

No matter which chaos god is pleased, Malal gets stronger from it

You mad other chaos gods?

>> No.13834271

>>13834263

Oh hi, Malal. How's the whole "being weak enough to manifest completely on the physical plane" thing working out for you, dear boy?

>> No.13834279

>>13834271
Off you go with your "manifestations" and "planes".
You people are insane.

>> No.13834286

>>13834279

Oh, stop! It's just too funny!

>> No.13834308

>>13834286
It's always the same with you absurd so-called "gods". Always pretending common sense is funny. Pah.

>> No.13834313

>>13834308

I am crying in mirth. Good show, my boy. Good show.

>> No.13834322

>>13834313
And I as well, Tzeentch old chap. And I as well.

>> No.13834331

Hmm...

If someone knows that the 'Chaos Gods' exists, but believes them to be simply very powerful (but nondivine) entities, does necoho gain or lose power?

>> No.13834338

>>13834331
He gains power from any kind of disbelief. That counts, I think.

>> No.13834340

>>13834322

Ah, but that's no surprise, coming from you.

>> No.13834346

>>13834322
Nobody likes you, Zuvassin.

>> No.13834358

necoho is just Malal's left testicle

>> No.13834371

>>13834340
Oh, but you bring me no end of enjoyment. All your ridiculous plans, it's just too much fun to derail them.
Like those Thousand Sons, constantly having their plans go awry.

>> No.13834377

>>13834371
You mean EXACTLY AS HE PLANS?

Seriously, the entity is immune to your meddling, because the plan failing is also a win condition.

Tzeentch only plays games that he cannot lose.

>> No.13834379

>>13834371

How do you enjoy being a paradox, little god? Having to plan to derail my own plans? You are an amusement, and nothing more. You hold no place in the Great Game. Fortunate for you, I think, for you would be destroyed entirely.

>> No.13834383

>>13834377

I play all the games.

I just play them from both sides, child.

>> No.13834387

>>13834377
My boy, he cannot plan for MY eventuality. That is the point behind my entire existence. I can fuck up anything, including the best laid plans there are.

>> No.13834388

Zuvassin is best tier.

How does it feel having a god dedicated to pwning you Tzeentch?

>> No.13834395

>>13834379
I don't plan. I just do. It is a subconscious act of mine to constantly destroy plots.
I may be a minor god, but you cannot touch me.

>> No.13834406

>>13834395

And you think you can tough me, little one? Your existence is dedicated to an act that I am far more capable of than you - I plot, and I plan, and I scheme...and then I plot and plan and scheme against those former plots, plans, and schemes.

Your existence is useless. You, as I said, are nothing but an amusement.

>> No.13834432

>>13834406
And yet your constant plans go utterly awry by my very presence. This upsets you SO much and there is nothing you can do about it.

>> No.13834435

All youz gits iz wrong! Allz ya need iz MOAR DAKKA! Ain't no plannin' needed for that, an' no way ter screw it up neither. If it blows up, den you've got a bomb!

>> No.13834454

>>13834432

But it doesn't. It brings about Change, it opens up ever more opportunities for more planning - and those few plans that you do interrupt, open up even more! In saecula saeculorum!

>> No.13834457

Yes ladies, gentlemen, and vermin... it's that time again... chchuffchuffchSCREEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!

>giewe coupling

>> No.13834460

>>13834435
MORK IS DA BIGGEST AND DA STRONGEST

>> No.13834464

ONE DAY I WILL KILL YOU ALL. EXCEPT FOR NURGLE. THAT GUY'S ALRIGHT.

>> No.13834465

>>13834435

*sigh*

Hello, Gork. How's Mork?

>> No.13834479

>>13834460

Nevermind, here he is. Still loud and annoying.

>>13834464

Oh look, another pretender to godhood. Must I sneeze warp at you as well?

>> No.13834485

>>13834464
Not if get them first

>> No.13834497

>>13834454
Opening up MORE plans for me to derail! Isn't this a fun game we play?

>> No.13834501

>>13834479
JUST SHUT UP AND GIMME MY SCYTHE BACK YOU WARP-SPAWNED ASSHOLES! I ONLY HAVE THREE MORE FAMILY MEMBERS TO EAT AND I NEED IT TO CARVE UP THE DRAGON AND CRACK THE OUTSIDER'S SHELL TO GET TO THE GOOEY FILLING.

>> No.13834504

Attn: Douchefags

As soon as the batteries on this thing run out you're all fucked

Signed:
The God Emperor of Mankind

>> No.13834507

>>13834501

Sure. Come and get it, I put it in the Eye of Terror.

>>13834497

Oh, it is. It truly is.

>> No.13834516

>>13834504
HMM MAYBE I'LL LET BROTHER DRAGON LIVE A LITTLE WHILE. YOU'D MAKE A NICE JUICY SOUL FILLING.

>> No.13834523

>>13834504

I will so enjoy having a fifth brother to play The Game with.

>> No.13834537

>>13834523
speaking of playing...

>> No.13834547

>>13834460
Dat's great, an yous can haz it, ya grot! It don't matter none how loud er strong ya are, if yer arready chopped ter bits by me big gunz!

MOAR DAKKA!!!

>>13834464
Who's you, ya git? Nightbringa? Never heard of ya! Yer wearin black, iz you wiff dem necron boyz? Clear out or I'll feed ya to mah squiggoth
, da REAL gods iz talkin!

>>13834479
Oi! Juss cuz youz got da big words don't mean none! Yar chaos boyz just iz more 'eads for me pointy stick. Da one that shootz MOAR DAKKA!!!

>> No.13834548

>>13834537

Hello, Deceiver. Or Cegorach. Or whatever you wish to be called.

>> No.13834554

Why is Tzeench talking to himself?

>> No.13834562

>>13834547

Oh Gork, I hear Mork called you something like, "An unkrumpin' no-dakka git wit' squigz fer brainz."

>> No.13834564

>>13834554

I do it all the time, child.

>> No.13834568

>>13834548
dude please.
when i manifest as in my physical form at least do me the curtesy of not confusing that incompetant star demon with me.

>> No.13834571

>>13834547
BRING IT YOUNG ONE. IN THE WORDS OF YOUR FOLLOWERS, I'LL SHOW YOU WHO'S THE CHOPPIEST.

>> No.13834576

>>13834501
B---ZZaaaitch come[come]{come} h-h-hhahahahahere and say to, to my factxzzzzzz! Ordoyou oooor dooo you wish to greet your brothers... in, in, in the interior universe I-i-aye- fashioned... for... for my SUSTENANCE!

>> No.13834583

>>13834568

If that's the way you want to play it.

>>13834571

Aren't you going to come get your Scythe, first? Right here, in the Eye of Terror. So close. You can do it. I -believe- in you.

>> No.13834608

WHY SHOULD I DO IT MYSELF WHEN I HAVE PARIAHS TO DO IT FOR ME? I KNOW HOW MUCH YOU CHAOS BOYS LOVE THEM.
>>13834576
WHAT, TOO MUCH OF A PUSSY TO LEAVE YOUR BALL, BUBBLE BOY?

>> No.13834613

>>13834562
Wot?!?!? I'll show 'im, dat no-good humie-lovin-

Wait a minute! Youz must tink I'z stupid or summin! Well I ain't! I knowz how you does it, ya slippery grot! Well I ain't fallin for it! My boyz are comin for ya! WAAGH!!!

>>13834571
Yah, it'z me! I'z da shootiest and da choppiest around! You'z gonna be hurtin aftah dis! WAAGH!!!

>> No.13834620

>>13834608

Oh yes, please, send them in. Let us pit Warp against un-Warp. Such an idea is fascinating.

>> No.13834629

Food.

>> No.13834636

>>13834620
THEY'LL BE RINGING THE DOORBELL SHORTLY.

>> No.13834637

>>13834613
OI! WHYS DER NO KILLIN! GORK YOU SLIMEY GIT GET TO THE FIGHTING! WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!

>> No.13834638

>>13834613

No, no lies. He said so. Then he said he was both, "Kunnin' but strong AN' strong but kunnin'! Dun' need dat grot-t'umbed git no more!"

Forgive me if the translation is not perfect. The complexities of your language sometimes elude me.

>> No.13834646

Fffffffffffffffuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu
I will kill all of you

>> No.13834656

>>13834629

Come here! Come here, boy! Come here! See the metal-skeletons with bits of meat beneath them! They've got some powerful food! GO GET'EM! Good boy!

>> No.13834664

>>13834646

Subtle as always, dear brother.

>> No.13834667

>>13834638
YOU SMARMY GIT! I IS CUNNINGLY BRUTAL! AND I IS GONNA SMAK YOU UPSIDE YOUR WARPING HEAD!!!

>> No.13834679

>>13834637
Youz be gettin to da fightin! Dey's ter far away, in da immuh-immateh-imetre-

DEYS OUTTA RANGE!!!

>>13834638
No chance! Let'z get 'im Mork! Ter da eye o' terrah!

>> No.13834681

>>13834667

I'm shaking in fear. But fine. Don't listen to me. When Mork turns on you, remember this.

>> No.13834689

>>13834646
>>13834664
what is this? are you two inciting more of your silly little wars again?

>> No.13834697

Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzzz.........Zzzzzzzzzzzzzzz...........Zzzzzzzzz...........

>> No.13834703

In a manner of speaking. Little brother Slaanesh was here earlier. He wanted you to ask Khorne - nevermind. I'm sure he'll tell you.

>> No.13834707

Chaos undivided is best chaos, pic related

>> No.13834714

This is making me ANGRY aaaarrrrgggghhh
I will destroy you and feed your skulls to my bloodcrushers

>> No.13834715

Hey, you kids keep it down in here. The game's on.

>> No.13834716

>>13834707

And who brokers the peace between my brothers?

Well, I don't mean to boast...but I do.

>> No.13834721

I just had a horrible thought. What would happen if orks looted warscythes?

>> No.13834723

>>13834681
I IS MORK YOU ZOGGING GROT!
HERE WE GO!, HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO!
TO DA CHAOS BOYS WARPY THING!
HERE WE GO!, HERE WE GO! HERE WE GO!
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH!!!!!!!!!!

>> No.13834730

>>13834715

Shut up, Sigmar. We all know you're "the Emperor" anyway.

>> No.13834731

>>13834714
Oi! Dose are my skullz fer me stick! I'll take yer bloodcrushaz skullz too, fer good measure!

>> No.13834735

>>13834721
CHAAAAAOSSSSSS GLORIOUUUUUUUS CHAAAAAOSSSSSSS

>> No.13834738

>>13834721
Necron Tech, even when seperated fades out too, most of the time.

Also, necron weapons don't have triggers. They usually just go off when the necron holding them wants them to.

>> No.13834739

>>13834723
>>13834731

I'm sorry, you two look so alike. Though your brother said he could drink more grog than you and stay standing.

>> No.13834752

I CAN FEEL THE WARP OVERTAKING ME, IT IS A GOOD PAIN

>> No.13834754

>>13834739
Don' listn ter 'im! 'Eez da git! Letz get dem Chaos boyz!! Skullz fer da stickz!

WAAAAGH!!!!!

WAAAAGH!!!!!

WAAAAGH!!!!!

>> No.13834755

FUCK FUCK FUCK COCKS SHIT BALLS FUCK CUNTS SHIT FUCK SHIT SHIT TITS BADGERCUNTLASERS.

>> No.13834758

Gentle-vermin, for too long I have been ignored by stupid-silly manling gods behold a Warpstone Powered, Mechanical Satan... or was that mechanical C'tan?

I cannot now actually remember at this moment but techy-techs assure me difference be marginal-little anyhow.

>Mundi assenta

>> No.13834762

>>13834755
and you wonder why we keep you outside.

>> No.13834763

>>13834755
OH GODD HE'S MORE INSANE THEN US MASTERRRRRRRRRR

>> No.13834766

>>13834738
I wasn't talking about the the built in gauss blaster, (though any ork would love a choppa with a good shoota that shoots green lightning) but the fact that IT FUCKING CUTS THROUGH EVERYTHING. IT'S DA CHOPPIEST.

>> No.13834780

If gork and Mork want a fight I'll kill the with all my limbs tied behind my back

>> No.13834783

>>13834758
erh... uhm.. one moment pleaseplease... techyproble- no I don't care just... yes send it out... erh yesyes... Now... BEHOLD!

>from vollea

>> No.13834784

>>13833677

>This entire thread.

Just as planned.

>> No.13834794

>>13834766
scarier thought.
when an ork mek sees something, he instantly knows how to make an ork equivilent.

>> No.13834803

MASTERRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR
RRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRRR

just as planned

>> No.13834804

>>13834730
Your mother and I don't appreciate you using her pet name for me in front of your friends, Tzeentch, even if it is 'totes hardcore'.

>> No.13834818

>>13834794
Now my brain says "Hey, what if a mek under Ghazgull Thraka saw a warscythe, then made one. Thraka sees it, then has his power klaw made out of warscythes..."

>> No.13834820

>>13834804

Your wit is almost as sharp as the spear-tips of your Empire's infantrymen.

>> No.13834838

I Awaken.

>> No.13834857

>>13834820
Ha ha! Yeah. I've been trying to get the little idiots to discover the Bessimer process for a while now, somehow they got the idea that they should pretend the Skaven don't exist instead.

So does Asuryan know about Isha and Nurgle's little, uh...what would you even call it anyway. An arrangement?

>> No.13834858

>>13834838

No you don't, most of the Eldar are still alive.

Go back to sleep.

>> No.13834866

>>13834857

I hear he's into that sort of thing.

>> No.13834879

>>13834858
I Stir. It Will Be Some Time Before I Can Destroy You All. The Day Is Ever Darker. I Am Closer Every Second.

>> No.13834885

>>13834879

Actually, it's just Slaanesh you think you'll destroy.

>> No.13834892

>>13834866
Gosh, a stand up guy like Asuryan? You think you know a guy.

Speaking of which, are Khorne and Girl-Type Slannesh still doing the whole 'will they, won't they' dance? Griminir insists he's going to win the bet this year.

>> No.13834904

>>13834885
I Will Claim All Those Who Reside In The Warp.
Your Fate Is Sealed

>> No.13834907

>>13834879
AND I THOUGHT MY BROTHERS WERE HEAVY SLEEPERS.

>> No.13834909

>>13834892

Well, Slaanesh gave us all a Chalice. Khorne broke his...but then he put it back together...then he broke it again...ad infinitum.

Rather kind of sad. I don't think Khorne really understands emotions.

>> No.13834924

No calculus.

Tzeentch doesn't care if the plan doesn't involve rates of change.

>> No.13834937

>>13834907
Do Not Jest.
The C'Tan Will Be Consumed Once The Warp Has Been Exstinguised.
I Will Travel Every Plane.
Every Being Who Should Not Be Will End.

>> No.13834947

>>13834909
Guy just needs a hobby. I had some...anger issues...for a while, then seeing what a fruitcake Nagash let himself become helped snap me out of it.

>> No.13834948

>>13834937

You would live in the warp, the same as the other gods of the Eldar did.

You poor, poor little fool.

>> No.13834963

>>13834937
TINY ELDAR GOD YOU AMUSE ME. YOU THINK YOU CAN BEST THOSE WHO SHATTERED KHAINE? YOU THINK YOU CAN BEST THE ONE WHO CORRUPTED HIM. YOU MAKE ME LAUGH, SLEEPTALKER.

>> No.13834967

Oi! Chaos!

Weez in yer eye, wreakin' yer shit.

>> No.13834969

>>13834947

Oh, that was hilarious.

I wonder if our mortals will ever find out that we just use them as game pieces in The Great Game?

>> No.13834988

>>13834967

That's not the Eye of Terror, that's The Storm of the Emperor's Wrath. Don't know why they called it that...that Enthroned Lazybones just called in a favor, so I opened up the warp on a few mortals. Was pretty funny, really.

>> No.13834990

>>13834948
>>13834963
Whence I Am Complete No Plane Nor Reality Will Not Feel My Presence.
I Will Claim All That Is Not Mortal.
To Doubt Me Is Your Undoing,

>> No.13835127

>>13834990
Whence means 'where from' not 'when' you oaf.

>> No.13835210

Hey what's going on here guys?

>> No.13835259

>>13835210

We all know you were just the Emperor guiding humanity down a certain path.

>> No.13835281

So, for the longest time I've been meaning to ask.
Does anyone know why chaos' symbol is pretty much the same as Buddhism's?

>> No.13835516

Archive this!

>> No.13835525

http://suptg.thisisnotatrueending.com/archive/13833567/

>> No.13835568

Anyone remember Tzeentchammer?

It was a theory that all the other chaos gods were actually parts of Tzeentch's mind, splintered around the warp (Which, in fact, IS Tzeentch's mind) and trying to claim dominance over the others.

This forced Tzeentch to retreat into his library to keep the last bit of his sanity alive. To keep hope alive.

Now he's planning day and night, not to achieve something nefarious, but to regain his sanity and banish the other "gods".

>> No.13835579

>>13835568

Maybe that is true. I don't remember. It could be. It could very well not be, however.

(( That's actually a cool idea. I will remember that. ))

>> No.13835600

HEY TZEENTCH.
THINK YOU CAN FACE A REAL MAN WITHOUT YOUR PUSSY FAGGOT MAGIC FOR QUEERS AND WOMEN?

>> No.13835605

>>13835568
I remember that thread.

Didn't we conclude that Tzeentch is also running out of time, as he had to somehow gain control again before Ynnead is born?

>> No.13835627

THIS THREAD IS DILDOS

>> No.13835635

>>13835600

That depends, dear brother. Can you face me without being angry? Maybe talking at an inside level?

>> No.13835645

>>13835568
>mfw Tzeentch was schizophrenic, and there were no other gods that demanded him to shatter his staff

>> No.13835676

>>13835645

>> No.13835696

>>13835635
THE FUCK IS THAT SHIT, YOU WANT ME TO BE A PUSSY LIKE THAT? WHY THE FUCK ARE YOU SO FUCKING QUIET AL THE FUCKING TIME, ASS LICKER? SHIT FUCK I KNEW YOU WERE A COCK SUCKER.

>> No.13835700

>>13835568
So it's basically the Elder Scrolls cosmology?

>> No.13835713

FUCKING SLAANESH
YOUR GODDAM PARTY NEXT DOOR HAS GONE ON LONG ENOUGH
I HAVEN'T HAD A SINGLE NIGHT'S SLEEP IN 500 YEARS, AND YOUR GUESTS SEEM TO HAVE TAKEN UP PERMANENT RESIDENCE IN MY DRIVEWAY
I WOULD REPORT YOU TO THE HOMEOWNERS ASSOCIATION IF I HADN'T SLAUGHTERED THEM ALREADY, AND SO HELP ME IF I HEAR 'AROUND THE WORLD' BY DAFT PUNK ONE MORE TIME I'M SHOVING THIS CHAINAXE SO FAR UP YOUR TRANSVESTITE WHORE ASS SO HARD THAT NOT EVEN YOU COULD ENJOY IT

>> No.13835748

>>13835645
>>13835605
>>13835568

These guys are under a lot of pressure then.

>> No.13835771

>>13835748
They are Tzeentch's last chance. They are literally the couriers of hope. If they fail, so will Tzeentch.

Everything Tzeentch does is to keep attention away from them.

>> No.13835814

>>13835713
Oh do keep your voice down, we're trying to do some karaoke here! Now sing along everybody! "One more time..."

>> No.13835825

>>13835814
SHUT THE FUCK UP YOU FUCKING JIZZGARGLING RUMPWRANGLING DONUT PUNCHING COCKSUCKING RECTUM RANGER. I AM GOING TO BURN YOUR FUCKING REALM TO THE CUNTING GROUND.

>> No.13835839

>>13835825
"the cunting ground"... Wow! Thanks! I hadn't thought of that one yet! We'll do that next, but I see the Electric Six is next on the karaoke playlist so it'll have to wait a bit...

>> No.13835848

>>13835825
Calm down, dear friend. I don't particularly like Slaanesh' parties either. The Nurglings can't sleep in the racket.

But I have a way to make them go silent. A wonderful disease that rots their tongues and makes them mute.

>> No.13835849

>>13835814
AAAAWWW SHIT NO YOU FUCKING DIDNT DIPSHIT
I KNOW THE CONCEPT OF COMBAT MIGHT BE FOREIGN TO YOUR PANSY FAGGOT ASS, BUT THAT BIT ABOUT THE CHAINAXE WAS NOT A CHALLENGE
I WILL FUCKING MURDER YOU AND TURN YOU ENTRAILS TO CONFETTI

>> No.13835850

Ah, brotherly love. So sweet.

Khorne, old boy, how goes the putting back together/smashing of the chalice Slaanesh gave you?

>> No.13835868

>Wish he'd let that poor Isha girl go. She looks so sad, I just want to cheer her up.

Hear me Slaanesh, I took dear Isha from you, not because of lust, but because we are meant to be together. You had your chance, and even as you inflect pleasure unending upon her body in those dark days after The Fall, her heart belongs to me.

It is after all the way of all things, without me, my dear Isha will be devoid of purpose; without her, my existence will be without joy. Together we are the eternal struggle for survival in all living things. Is there a more pure form of love?

Isha is mine, as it should be.

>> No.13835870

>>13835848
NO
NO
FUCK YOU NURGLE
I CANT GET MY CAR OUT OF THE FUCKING DRIVEWAY TO GO TO WORK
I CAN'T SLEEP
I KNOW IT'S PROBABLY DIFFERENT WHEN YOUR BODY IS A FUCKED TO DEATH PIECE OF SHIT THAT PASSES OUT ON YOU EVERY FIVE MINUTES, BUT THIS SHIT IS NOT TOLERABLE FOR EVERYONE ELSE

>> No.13835871

>>13835850
SH-SHUT UP, FAGGOTRON. I-I DON'T LIKE HIR OR ANYTHING, IT'S JUST THAT S/HE F-FORCED ME TO LIKE IT. YEAH.

>> No.13835876

>>13835850
THE CHALICE IS GONE
FOREVER
I WON'T BOTHER WITH THE DETAILS BUT TRUST ME, IT IS GOING TO BE SEEN AGAIN

>> No.13835877

>>13833567
Khorne is the pleased one....don't ask me how.

>> No.13835880

>>13835839
FFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFFF-
THAT'S FUCKING IT. I'M SENDING THE BLOODTHIRSTERS.
BRING ME THEIR SKULLS, BOYS.

>> No.13835881

>>13835871

Of COURSE s/he did. Of course. It's alright, brother. I imagine that most emotions are probably confusing to you, and that's fine! We all have to confront these things at one time or another.

>> No.13835888

Hey guys can I play too?

>> No.13835889

>>13835876
CORRECTION: NEVER GOING TO BE SEEN AGAIN
FUCKING INTERNET

>> No.13835891

>>13835771
>>13835748

HOPE RIDES ALONE

>> No.13835902

>>13835888

Sure, Malice. Or Malal. You done with your rebellious phase yet?

>> No.13835903

>>13835871
Oh you made a jigsaw puzzle out of it! I do so enjoy puzzles, they're like cocaine except that when you snort puzzles it takes forever to get high on them... The sensation of the pieces jammed up your nose is quite exquisite though.

>>13835868
Love is a fine thing, the feeling of falling in love is hard to replicate. I've got a Keeper of Secrets working on synthesising it, but little success so far.

>> No.13835905

>>13835881
ARE YOU SAYING I LIKE THAT FAGGOTSLUT? DO YOU WANT AN AX UP YOUR ASS?
BECAUSE I DON'T.

>> No.13835914

Pffft, you're all smalltime.

>> No.13835916

>>13835902
*hides a piece belonging to tzeentchs staff*
maybe....
If I give you the key to the cage of Nurgles waifu can I join?

>> No.13835922

>>13835903

You always were the quirky one, brother. Though I suppose I am one to talk...

>>13835905

Oh, I would never -dare- imply such a thing, glorious and powerful brother. Not at all.

>> No.13835930

>>13835914
AT LEAST I AM NOT DEAD
HEY, HOW'S THAT BRAT OF YOURS DOING, FAGGOT?

>> No.13835933

>>13835914

When are you going to finish forming and become my fifth brother? Four is too easy. Too boring. We need a fifth. The Game need to be shaken up.

>>13835916

Now why would I want the key to Isha's cage? Mayhaps Slaanesh will.

>> No.13835934

OI! Gess Wot?

YOU LOT AINT ORKY!

HAHAHAHAHAHA!

>> No.13835941

>>13835933
...plans?

>> No.13835951

>>13835922
GOOD. BECAUSE YOU'D BETTER NOT.
FUCKING QUEER ASS WEAKLING SLAANESH WITH HIR LOVE AND PLEASURE BULLSHIT.

>> No.13835952

>>13835941

I am quite content letting Slaanesh do the planning, and having me sit back and watch.

After all, it spreads my influence.

You are rather translucent, little god.

>> No.13835953

>>13835930
My physical form might be dead, but I can still single hande- errr... single-mindedly keep you faggots stuck in the warp.

So kneel and suck my psychic manhood.

>> No.13835963

>>13835953

It's rather small, isn't it?

>>13835951

*a psychic sigh is heard* Of course, dear brother. Of course.

>> No.13835964

>>13835934
THAT IS ONE OF THE FEW THINGS I AM THANKFUL FOR, AS I CANNOT FATHOM WHY ANYONE WOULD ACTUALLY WANT TO HAVE AUTISM

>> No.13835967

>>13835941
I have plans, plans of what I'm going to do to that lovely girl Isha... But I think your innocent young mind couldn't cope with the... intricate details of it. Mine is a bit of an acquired taste.

>> No.13835976

>>13835951

OI Korn!

Ya no wot yeh could do ta get dat Slaneesh git? Paint yerself GREEN!

Youz ded killy enuf, but you'z red roit now, and reds not da best. Green is da best, so if youz was green, you'd be da best!

>> No.13835984

>>13835903
You and your minion will never understand the way of love. Love is not the same as pleasure, love is treasured as the greatest emotion by my children because they understand that it will wither and die with the passage of time. Thus love is treasured because of its very fragility, thus why man and woman proclaim their eternal love to each other and treasure that moment despite knowing in their heart that sooner or later all will be dust.

Eternal pleasure is as alien to love as is bloodlust.

>> No.13835986

>>13835976

Doesn't red make him faster, though?

>> No.13835987

>>13835952
or maybe there is something I'm not telling you.
Maybe this is all according to my plan, maybe my plan is to have no plan at all, but if I have no plan then how am I planning the plan.

>> No.13835989

>>13835953
Can I, oh can I!? I can do this thing with my seven tongues, it'll blow your... well let's not get too graphic and keep it at mind. Did I mention the tongue piercings?

>> No.13835994

>>13835953
GOTTEN SENILE, MAGGOT-BAIT?
YOUR "MANHOOD", IF YOU COULD EVER REALLY CALL IT THAT, ROTTED OFF BACK WHEN I COULD STILL LEAVE MY DRIVEWAY WITHOUT HAVING A COW-CATCHER INSTALLED ON THE FRONT OF MY VEHICLE

>> No.13835996

>>13835963
You wish to test your might against mine?

I could send your sorcerous ass to the beginning of time and undo you there while I played pong with the rest of my psychic power.

>> No.13836002

>>13835976
I ALWAYS LIKED YOU ORKS. ESPECIALLY BECAUSE YOUR KIND IS MORE LIKELY TO WORSHIP ME THAN THOSE FAGGOTS.
NOT WHERE WAS I... OH YEAH. WELL, YOU KNOW HOW RED ONES GO FASTER? WELL I KILL FASTER THIS WAY.

>> No.13836003

>>13835989

You've gone and gotten him started now, "Emperor." He won't shut up for weeks, now.

>> No.13836004

>>13835989
Whoops I dropped the key to Isha's cage between Slaanesh and Nurgle, how clumsy. Well no sense in looking for it.

>> No.13836015

>>13835996

There you go, being all righteous again. Come off it, soon-to-be-brother. We all know you wish to attain Godhood. I was intrigued by the possibility - why do you think I had the others agree to help you?

I also foresaw you "betraying" us. Even more intrigue! More deceit! It's delectable, really.

So come off it. Admit you want to be brought into the fold. The Great Game awaits its fifth player.

>> No.13836021

>>13835996
Don't be too hard on him guys, he's not that bad once you get used to the idea that without him I would be more powerful than all three of you.

>> No.13836024

>>13836021


That's why you're the only God weak enough to manifest completely on the physical plane, yes?

>> No.13836029

>>13836004
What, that thing? That thing's ugly as sin! And I like sin! Where's the style? Where's the sense of aesthetics? Where is the eye-pleasing elegance? Where... what were we talking about again?

Oh yeah, and I can unhinge my jaw too, well, at least at some of the joints. Believe me little man on your golden chair, a very nice chair too by the way I like all that gold, gives it a very pimpin' sense of style. But I digress. Believe me little man, it will rock your world, both the material and the immaterial one!

>> No.13836035

All youz talkin and muckin about is borin.

Cmon Gork, we'z goin ta Armergedden agin.

WAAAAAAGH!!!

>> No.13836039

>>13836029

Oh, damn it. Oh, Slaanesh? I think I lost a Flamer somewhere over there. They shoot completely random things from their mouths.

>> No.13836041

>>13836035
YEH! And dis time da boyz is gonna krump ALL da 'umies!

WAAAAAAAGH!

>> No.13836042

>>13836024
Its not the size of your warp displation in the physical world that matters its the motion of the ocean...I'm so insignificant...*sniff*

>> No.13836047

>>13836042

There, there. At least you have your own Renegade Chapter!

What were they called again? The Sons of Malaise? Brothers of...Bad or something?

>> No.13836052

>>13836041
YOU ARE ONE OF THE REASONS I COULD KICK ANY ONE OF THESE NIGGERS' ASSES WITH BOTH HANDS TIED BEHIND MY BACK. ENJOY.

>> No.13836056

>>13836042
OH BOO FUCKING HOO
TELL YOU WHAT, I'LL GIVE YOU A MELTABOMB AND YOU CAN GO KILL YOURSELF WITH IT OVER AT SLAANESH'S HOUSE

>> No.13836060

>>13836047
More like Brothers of Mayonaise, am i rite? Oh humour, I do enjoy humour. Of course some fail to see the joke sometimes, but that's to be expected of the puritanical mindset some of you guys have. You all really need to get out more, party some more, enjoy some new experiences.

>> No.13836062

>>13836047
You're right...at least I'm referenced unlike the squa-
[GW FLUFF CHANGE MALLAL NO LONGER EXISTS]

>> No.13836066

>>13836060

Dear brother, I -am- new experiences.

>> No.13836069

>>13836062
I WARNED YOU BRO!
I WARNED YOU ABOUT THE FUCKING SQUATS!

>> No.13836072

>>13836066
But you never -enjoy- them! What's the point in inventing new and exciting things if you can't kick back and appreciate them?

>> No.13836074

>>13836060
DO YOU EVER FUCKING SHUT THE FUCK UP, ELFSPAWN?

>> No.13836077

I wonder, hemorrhagic fevers like Ebola causes people to bleed to death. Which chaos god is more pleased by such disease: Nurgle or Khorne?

>> No.13836080

>>13836072

I both enjoy and hate every experience imaginable.

Do you know what it is like to hear every whisper, prayer, hope, and dream of every mortal in the universe?

You don't, but I am quite sure it is a more exquisite feeling than any drug or act of physical consummation.

>> No.13836088

>>13836074
Oh cry me a river mister brasspants. You're just acting sore over that one time me and a couple of daemonettes got really drunk, rang your doorbell rooted through fiftheen amps and ran...

>> No.13836092

do any of you 40k fags realize how little sense chaos marines make?? they should all be dead by now. a thousand times over. they can't make more marines. so you mean to tell me that all the chaos marines are from the 50/50 split during the Horus Heresy?? its the biggest fucking loophole in all the lore. the real chaos armys would be composed of 99% of weak gibbering inbred mutants.

>> No.13836098

>>13836077
THERE'S NO HATE, RAGE OR VIOLENCE INVOLVED.
I'M NOT JUST ABOUT FUCKING BLOOD, SHIT FOR BRAINS.
>>13836088
AND THAT THING YOU DID WITH THE FUCKING ANATHEMA, OR SHOULD I SAY THE ANATHEMA DID TO YOU?
YEAH, WE ALL HAVE SHIT TO BE PISSED ABOUT, DON'T WE? THAT'S WHY I'M THE STRONGEST.

>> No.13836100

Okay now that we have removed that dribble whats next on the agenda?
Peon: We have been receiving complaints from soccer moms about a god named Slaanesh.
hmm Slaanesh plead your case.

>> No.13836101

>>13836092

Of course our minions can make more Marines. They do it quite a lot. Fabius Bile is a rather famous example. They can also bring their marines back from the dead.

>> No.13836105

>>13836092
Wrong on every level. The Chaos Legions can and do create new Marines.

>> No.13836106

>>13836092
Resurrections, time dilation, and the fact that they totally fucking can and do make more marines.

>> No.13836108

>>13836101
THAT FABIUS IS A PRICK, HE IS.
THE FUCK DID HE EVER DO FOR ME?

>> No.13836117

>>13836098
But Khorne, what if it was weaponized Ebola for biological warfare?

>> No.13836119

>>13836108

Well, he does experiment on our little minions, resulting in very angry, very powerful - if unstable - killing machines.

>> No.13836127

>>13836117
THAT'D BE FUCKING DIFFERENT, WOULDN'T IT? NURGLE AND I'D BOTH LOVE THAT SHIT, AND I DON'T MIND THE FAT OLD FUCK SO THAT'S FINE WITH ME.

>> No.13836135

>>13836092
My children are neither living or dead, they fight on in undeath to spread my blessing.

>> No.13836138

>>13836119
WELL APART FROM THAT SHIT AND THE PROCESS OF MAKING NEW MARINES AND THE PROCESS OF MAKING CULTISTS INTO AWESOME MUSCLEBOUND WARRIORS AND ALL THAT CRAP.

>> No.13836143

>>13836047
I believe you'll find that their colloquial name was simply Bad Motherfuckers.

>> No.13836146

>>13836138

That's pretty good though, isn't it?

>> No.13836147

>>13836100
I'll do more than plead me case! Also, I'd like to note that I hold this entire court in contempt, I do not recognise your authority and that you're all close minded shut ins, but that none of that is personal unless you -really- like being insulted in which case I'll see you after we're done here...

About the soccer moms, well, they are just misinterpreting my agenda and my repetoire. They focus solely on the sex, drugs and rock 'n roll part. And that does not represent me very well. For example, I am also a great fan of the culinary arts, something they should be able to relate to. *mumbles: considering their fat asses*
And I am also a great supporter of the arts, I donate generously to beginning artists and well known musea.
I'd also like to make an off the record note that the reason they are hyper-focussed on the sex, drugs, ect is because they're not getting any. If only they'd embrace my ways they'd be a lot happier and there'd be less complaints.

>> No.13836151

>>13836143

So they're bad at fucking their mothers?

I do believe that Slaanesh could help the poor souls.

>> No.13836162

>>13836151
Could I ever! But I'm trying to plea my case in front of GW so let's not get into the details...

>> No.13836163

>>13836146
WELL YEAH AND I GUESS THE COMBAT DRUGS AND SURGERIES AND...
WELL, YEAH, HE HAS DONE QUITE A LOT, BUT HE'S STILL A ME-DAMNED PRICK. DOESN'T EVEN RESPECT US.

>> No.13836168

Why are the fonts so small on most of these posts?
I can't even read what these people are saying, yet somehow the thread has gotten more than 200 replies. None of this makes any sense.
Who are you people talking to?

>> No.13836175

>>13836163

So, when he finally kicks the bucket, show him what you think about him. In the mean-time, enjoy the show and the general havoc his experiments wreak.

Patience, old boy, patience.

>> No.13836181

>>13836162
HEY BOSS IS NOW A GOOD TIME TO ASK YOU FOR SOME MORE COCAINE? I KIND OF NEED A LITTLE BIT MORE.... AND BY A LITTLE I MEAN A LOT.

>> No.13836182

>>13836168

It's okay, I'm sure you'll understand when your race develops a full connection to the warp.

(( In all seriousness, that made me lol. Good show. ))

>> No.13836188

>>13836175
I'VE BEEN WAITING FOR FUCKING CENTURIES. I AM NOT THE PATIENT TYPE.
>>13836168
SHOULDN'T HAVE DRAWN ATTENTION TO YOURSELF, TAU. ENJOY YOUR TAINT.

>> No.13836189

>>13836168
Oh hey there bluey! I really should thank you for those Kroot you gave me the other day. And if you'd just grow a soul I might be tempted to help you out with that shoddy eye sight too, there are so many beautiful/horrible things to see in this world!

>> No.13836208

>>13836182
>>13836188
>>13836189


OI YEH CHAOS GITZ! HANDS OFF DA BLUE BOYZ!

Demz blue so deyz lukky, and deyz got good Dakka for lootin! So deyz ours and yoo can't have em!

>> No.13836214

>>13836181
Hush now, let's not let these fine gentlemen in their suits and deadly powers of retcon know about our little "Columbian Connection" too much shall we?

Now if you'd just scoot off on that little moped of yours I'm sure you'll find an Imperial Bulkfreighter full of it about two thousand lightyears south east and thirty six thousand nine hundred and seven years from now in time and space... Regular shipment, premium quality, you'll just have to dry it yourself as it's still paste though.

>> No.13836219

>>13836208
THEIR "DAKKA" DOESN'T EVEN MAKE MUCH NOISE, GORK AND MORK. AND THEY'RE PUNY, AH, GITS. FOR SHAME.

>> No.13836220

>>13836188
Huh. How strange. Looking at this gibberish made me curl my hand into a fist.
Odd.

>> No.13836232

>>13836220

Yes, feel hate pour through you. Use it. Who needs those Gue'vasa anyway? Show them that yours is the only race with the right to own the stars.

>> No.13836250

((hi there, just finished reading thru this thread and...can someone archive this? i don't want this to dissappear, too much win in too many of the posts))

>> No.13836251

>>13836232
And there are soooo many sensations to be felt amongst the stars. Surely the, erm, Greater Good is best served if you try to broaden your horizons a bit more? Both spatially and sensory I mean.

Greater Good, I've gotta remember that one. Seems like a perfect nickname for my dick(s), erm... when I chose to have one or more that is.

>> No.13836255

>>13836219
Yeh dun know nuthin! Sure da blue boyz is weedy gitz, but da Kroot gots deh big lizard fings wots good at krumpin.

>> No.13836259

>>13836255
And der dakka isn't blasty because deyz not Orks! Dats why we loot it an make it blasty!

>> No.13836261

>>13836220
>>13836232
YOU ENJOY, COMBAT, DON'T YOU, TAU? YOU TRY TO HIDE IT.
THE LAST GASP OF A DYING OPPONENT, THE CRACK OF RAILGUNS, THE SMELL OF OZONE AND BURNING MEAT. YOU LOVE TO SHOW THOSE BRUTISH HUMANS THAT THE GREATER GOOD IS THE ONLY PATH. SHOW THEM, TAU. SPILL THEIR BLOOD. REVEL IN IT.
WHO NEEDS THOSE ETHEREALS? THEY'RE ONLY HOLDING YOU BACK, ANYWAYS.

>> No.13836279

>>13836259
>>13836255
THEIR GUNS DON'T LET YOU GET STUCK IN, DO THEY, THOUGH? TOO LONG.

>> No.13836280

I HAVE AWOKEN AT LAST!!!, feel my glo... wait, whats going on here?

>> No.13836287

>>13836261
>>13836220

My brother speaks the truth. Show your Ethereals the cut of the knife of a comrade. Embrace the chance to live forever, the hope to taste Godhood.

We are waiting for you, little ones. And we are very patient.

>> No.13836289

>>13836261
Hmm. I can't help but think how impressive that Ethereal's honor blade was.
...Perhaps I could use it more effectively?

>> No.13836303

>>13836289

Give it a shot. You'll never know until you try. Are you not of the Fire Caste? The Warriors, the Protectors, the Vanguard of your people? Should not the other castes, the Ethereals especially, show you more appreciation for your work? Don't you deserve more?

>> No.13836305

>>13836279
YEH DUN KNOW NUFFIN ABOUT LOOTIN DO YA YEH GIT?

DEYZ NOT CHOPPY, SO JUST STICK SUM CHOPPY BITZ ON EM. YEH JUS FIXT DA PROBLEM! JUS GOES TA SHOW YOUZ NOT DED KUNNIN LIKE DA ORKS!

>> No.13836309

>>13836280
GO TO BED, NAGASH.
>>13836289
GOOD, USE YOUR AGGRESSIVE FEELINGS, TAU. LET THE HATE FLOW THROUGH YOU, STRENGTHEN YOU. STRIKE HIM DOWN WITH ALL YOUR ANGER AND TAKE YOUR RIGHTFUL PLACE AS LEADER. ONLY THE STRONG DESERVE TO RULE.

>> No.13836312

>>13836287
Patience? Now there's something I haven't tried in a while... Good call, brother, I'm sure the sensation of patience will be quite refreshing after all those non-years.

>>13836289
Have you ever contemplated the artistry involved in the
pursuit of bladecraft? The thrill of having the blade become something like an extension of yourself, a means of expression. Surely the perfection of swordmanship is a job suit only for the Fire Warrior caste?

>> No.13836319

>>13836305
HOW DO YOU CHOP WITH A PLASTIC GUN? IT HAS NO WEIGHT. BELIEVE ME, I'VE BEEN TOLD.
BESIDES, EVEN IF MY MEN WERE TO KILL THE TAU, THEY WOULDN'T WANT THEIR SHITTY GAY GUNS ANYWAYS. WHY WOULD IT AFFECT YOU?

>> No.13836330

>>13836303
...AND YOU SAY I DON'T KNOW RESTRAINT, FAGGOT. I DON'T NEED YOUR GAYASS MAGIC TO CORRUPT.

>> No.13836341

>>13836330

Now now, it would not do to have our new friend see any contention between us, would it brothers? Let us put aside our differences, for the moment. The potential is staggering, were we able to open this one's eyes.

>> No.13836352

>>13836309
Ah ,not you faggots, again.

>> No.13836357

>>13836352

I think I saw Sigmar around here somewhere.

>> No.13836359

>>13836341
HEH. I ALREADY MANAGED THAT ONCE, IF YOU HAVEN'T FORGOTTEN THAT LITTLE INCIDENT WITH THE CHANGER OF WAYS AND SHAS'O KAIS.

>> No.13836367

>>13836353

Good! Good!
Yes, they will! Fame and recognition, renown and respect, all will be yours.

Of course, one last step needs to be taken. Your Ethereal needs to die. How else will they know you deserve to use the weapon, and not he? Show them. Give them the proof they need.

>> No.13836368

>>13836303
>>13836309

The Ethereal doesn't use it that often. Maybe he won't notice if I take it?
And if I use it, maybe everyone will see how much better I am in combat! Yes! All of Tau shall know of me wielding that blade!

>> No.13836374

>>13836353
WHY DON'T YOU... DECORATE IT FIRST?
GIVE IT SOME FLAIR. TRY THIS... DESIGN.

>> No.13836377

>>13836357
SIGAMR!

>> No.13836379

>>13836368
>>13836367

(( Redirect my post. ))

>> No.13836385

>>13836374
IS OF COURSE SPEAKING TO
>>13836368

FUCK.

>> No.13836388

Tzeentch! I have a grievance with you that I must air! All of Immaterium, even you, supposedly, are united in our disguest against the Necron for their soullessness. Yet you allow such automatons to exist among your own ranks! Why did you allow Ahriman to turn your children into such abominations?

>> No.13836393

>>13836374

Yes, do it. Adorn your blade. Of course, you will also need a symbol befitting your station. I believe that this would be proper. Does it not ooze power? A commanding aura of authority, of dominance?

You know it in your heart to be true.

>> No.13836401

>>13836388

Pfah, they are not soulless! That is all that they are, souls within armor.

>> No.13836422

>>13836388
NURGLE, YOUR "CHILDREN" ARE FAT UNDEAD SHITS THAT ARE BASICALLY IMMORTAL.
I HATE TZEENTCH BUT SPEAK FOR YOURSELF.

>> No.13836434

>>13836368
Yes, renown and fame will be yours! They will praise your name, hail you as their greatest warrior, their most glorious champion.
But it is not enough, for close as you are to this most just of fates, you must surely see now that the current state is unfair? Do others not deserve to know they too can try to excel in their chosen field? Does the Earth caste not deserve to try and create the best devices they can imagine, unbound by the the constricting judgement of others? Does not the Air caste deserve to fly free and dazzle the audience with new display aireal skills?
Spread the word, let the others know.

>> No.13836435

>>13836367

But what if he would notice and object to what I'm trying to do? I could punished!
Unless, unless I made sure he wouldn't be able to tell anybody. Yes, no one would miss him. He doesn't go on the front lines after all. All my fellow warriors would only see me.

>>13836374

If I had to get rid of the Ethereal, surely the Gue'vasa would rebel....They are afraid of those strange symbols. Maybe I could use them?

>> No.13836440

>>13836422

Hate is such a strong word, brother. Surely you know I look out only for our best interests?

>> No.13836454

>>13836401
Lies Tzeentch! Your Rubrics follow the command of your sorcerers absolutely the same way that Men of Iron followed their programming set by the Men of Stone. They are as unliving as Necrons.

>> No.13836466

>>13836435

Already you are learning. Planning. Plotting. You have great potential, little one.

Yes, show them. Bring together those that share your respect for our symbols. That know and recognize and RESPECT your power.

And, as I am sure you will find yourself to be -quite- skilled with the blade, I know there are those of your comrades who still revere your Farsight as a hero - use that to your advantage. Use your blade, Champion. Carve your way to glory and power with its keen edge.

>> No.13836468

>>13836440
HATE, "BROTHER". IT'S WHAT I DO. NOT AS MUCH AS SLAANESH, BUT HATE. FOR THE SIMPLE REASON THAT YOU ARE A COWARD THAT HIDES BEHIND MAGIC, LIKE A SISSY LITTLE GIRL. YOU LOVE MAGIC. YOU PUT IT IN EVERYTHING. YOU'RE BASICALLY THE FUCKING GOD OF MAGIC. I HATE MAGIC. THEREFORE, I HATE YOU.

>> No.13836474

>>13836468

But you can't argue with my results, surely?

>> No.13836481

>>13836435
BUT OF COURSE! YOU COULD WHIP THAT SORRY LOT INTO LINE EASILY WITH THESE HARMLESS SYMBOLS.
WHAT A COWARDLY, SUPERSTITIOUS LOT. THEY'LL BE EASY TO CRUSH UNDER YOUR HEEL.
A FEW MORE GLYPHS COULDN'T HURT, RIGHT?

>> No.13836488

>>13836454
You know NOTHING of undead, but... I could show you.

>> No.13836494

>>13836474
RESULTS?
IT DOESN'T COUNT AS RESULTS IF YOU CHEAT. YOU MIGHT AS WELL BE ATTACKING CHILDREN AND HELPLESS NONCOMBATANTS. MAGIC IS FOR THE WEAK. ITS ONLY USE IS BINDING GLYPHS OF PAIN AND HATE AND RAGE INTO ARMOR AND WEAPONS.

>> No.13836510

>>13836494

And allowing for our very existence, my brother. We are made of Warpstuff, as I'm sure you well know - all I do is manipulate that same fabric of creation. As your mighty sword can do.

>> No.13836536

>>13836466
>>13836434

Taking on the Ethereal could be dangerous. I'd need allies to help me, to fight with me, to know what they and I can do. Farsight would surely lead us all more greatly than the Ethereal could ever do.

>>13836481

Using those symbols wouldn't hurt anybody. Only they would be afraid, such a simple thing itself is perfectly harmless.

I'm going to do it.

>> No.13836544

>>13836510
WARPSTUFF IS NOT MAGIC. MAGIC MANIPULATES WARPSTUFF. WE MANIPULATE OUR REALMS BY SHEER WILL, BECAUSE WE ENCOMPASS COMMON EMOTIONS, WHICH THE WARP IS INFLUENCED BY.
MY AX, MY SWORD, MY ARMOR, ARE NOT PHYSICAL OBJECTS. THEY ARE EXTENSIONS OF MY WILL, PART OF MY [ONLY APPLICABLE WORD IS BODY]. MAGIC IS FOR FOOLS AND WEAKLINGS, USING POWER THEY HAVE NOT EARNED TO GAIN AN UNFAIR ADVANTAGE. LIKE YOU. I COULD KICK THE SHIT OUT OF YOU AT ANY TIME AND YOU KNOW IT, BUT YOUR PRECIOUS MAGIC WOULDN'T LET ME.

>> No.13836559

>>13836536
YES, THAT'S A GOOD TAU. YOU WILL BRING YOUR SPECIES TO GREATNESS WITH THE SEVERED HEADS OF THE ETHEREALS AS YOUR STANDARD!

>> No.13836580

>>13836536

Such potential. Such -promise-. You will go far, young one. Farther than you could have ever dreamed.

>> No.13836588

nagash...and nurgle...

what i would give to see that war of the gods happen.

and nagash IS a god. make no mistake.

Sigmar you would not have stood a chance had Nagash gotten his crown back...

>> No.13836617

>>13836536

And you will plunge staggering depths of excess as you revel in the glory and admiration of your people, as is only... just.

>>
Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.
Captcha
Action