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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.13642267 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Dear Abby

There's a pretty cool girl I've had a crush on for a while in the gaming group I DM for. About seven or eight on my one to ten chart and I think she's interested in me.

How do I approach the issue? I kind of have a rule not to get involved with group members - I've had a VERY bad experience once. That girl was a true bitch (demanding in-game perks and stuff) and I don't think this one would devolve in such a person, but seriously, what should I do?

Yours, guy in distress.

>> No.13642272

>>/soc/

>> No.13642274

THE THREAD IN WHICH PEOPLE DISCUSS PENISES AND VAGINAS IN A TANGENTIALLY RELATED WAY TO TRADITIONAL GAMES: THE BOARD GAME

>> No.13642284

>>13642272

>>>/b/

fix'd

>> No.13642287

>>13642272
Someone doesn't know about /tg/'s ask Abby.

>> No.13642302

I say eat her juicy brains.

>> No.13642309

DEAR PATHETIC MORTAL FLESHLING,

AS IS MY ADVICE IN ALL CONFUSING AND POINTLESS MORTAL INTERACTIONS, RAPE HER MIND UNTIL SHE BECOMES AN UNWITTING, MALLEABLE SERVILE.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642310

>I kind of have a rule not to get involved with group members

There you have it

Stick by your principles.

>> No.13642311

>>13642284
>>13642274
>>13642272

newfags

>> No.13642320

rolled 32 = 32

I missed dear abby.

>> No.13642322

>>13642267
DEAR GUY IN DISTRESS,

I HAVE COVERED THIS TOPIC QUITE EXTENSIVELY IN MY COLUMN. WHY MUST YOU INFERIOR CREATURES PERSIST IN BADGERING ME WITH YOUR PITIFUL PROBLEMS?

AS I HAVE RECOMMENDED PREVIOUSLY, SIMPLY MIND-RAPE HER AND THEN EXERT YOUR WILL UPON HER BROKEN PSYCHE.

YOURS,
ABBY

>> No.13642328

>>13642309
>>13642322
FFFF, you beat me. Damn.

>> No.13642334

people actually remembered that dear abby joke?
you anons just made my day.

>> No.13642336

Just ask her out, quit being a pussy.

>> No.13642338

>>13642309
>>13642322

Dear Abby

You do realise I have neither the ability nor means to rape someone's mind?

Yours, guy in distress

>> No.13642347

DEAR FOOLISH MORTAL

I SUGGEST YOU REALISE THE INSIGNIFICANCE OF YOUR FEELING AND YOUR "GAMING GROUP". FURTHERMORE I SUGGEST YOU EMBRACE THE INSIGNIFICANCE OF YOUR LIFE AND REALIZE YOUR ONLY USE IS TO SERVE HIGHER BEINGS.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642352

Dear Abby.

I am in love with a girl in my gaming group, and i think that she loves me back (we've went on several dates that went well), but when i'm around her, i get very nervous, too nervous to make a move.

How do i get over my anxiety?

yours, nervous guy

>> No.13642360

DEAR /tg/

YOU DARE TO FORGET ME? PERHAPS I OUGHT TO IMPLANT THE IMAGE OF MY PERFECT FORM DIRECTLY INTO YOUR PRIMITIVE VISUAL CORTEX, SO IT IS FOREVER OVERLAYED OVER EVERYTHING YOU SEE?

YOURS,
ABBY

>> No.13642361

DEAR SPINELESS CREATURE,

I CARE NOT FOR THE PATHETIC EXCUSES THAT SPEW OUT OF YOUR SLACKENED MOUTH. IF ONE DOES NOT HAVE THE CAPABILITIES OF COMPLETELY BREAKING A CREATURE MENTALLY THEN THEY ARE FIT ONLY FOR ENSLAVEMENT.

SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642363

Dear Abe,

How do I tell my player he's a total douche?

>> No.13642367

Dear Abby,

I've recently been diagnosed with a terminal disease. The doctor says I've got six months, tops. I'm actually pretty cool with it at this point, but I'm not sure what I should do with the time I have left. My family consists of total dickwads, and even on my death bed I have no desire to reconcile with them. What should I do?

Sincerely,

Dancing at the threshold

>> No.13642370

>>13642336

That

>> No.13642372

>>13642338

DEAR GUY IN DISTRESS,

I ADVISE THAT YOU ACQUIRE THE MEANS TO DO SO POST-HASTE. IF YOU GO DOWN TO THE SEA WHEN THE MOON IS WANING GIBBOUS AND PERFORM THE RITUAL OF OBEISANCE AS OUTLINED IN DREAD XYRFTISK'S TOME, YOU WILL ATTRACT THE ATTENTION OF ONE OF MY KIN, WHO WILL WARP THE WEFT OF YOUR MIND UNTIL IT, IN TURN, MAY WARP THE MINDS OF OTHERS. DO THIS AND YOU SHALL HAVE YOUR DESIRE.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642373

>>13642338
IF YOU DO NOT POSSESS THE PUISSANCE NECESSARY TO MAGICALLY RAPE HER MIND YOU MUST EITHER WRESTLE THE FORCES OF REALITY UNTIL YOU ATTAIN THEM, OR MINDRAPE HER BY VULGAR, MUNDANE MEANS SUCH AS DRUGS AND SUBLIMINAL MESSAGES.

YOURS,
ABBY

>> No.13642377

>>13642363

>Abe

WAT

>> No.13642378

Dear Abby

I have been a follower of you column since it first started. However only recently have I begun to put your advice into practice. I'm having a bit of trouble with the first and only step though. I as a puny mortal have trouble mind raping individuals. What would be the best way to get better at mind raping?

Yours Truly
Insignificant Mortal

>> No.13642381

>>13642367

DEAR DANCING AT THE THRESHHOLD,

YOU SHOULD TAKE UP KNITTING.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642387

>>13642338
DEAR GUY IN DISTRESS,
iN THAT CASE, USE YOUR SLIME TENTACLES TO RENDER HER INCAPABLE OF LIVING ON DRY LAND. THIS WILL FORCE HER TO JOIN YOU IN THE DEPTHS, WHERE YOU WILL SPEND MUCH TIME TOGETHER.

>> No.13642391

Dear Abby,

A hockey puck, mass 0.115 kg, strikes a 0.265 kg octopus on the ice. The puck and the octopus slide off together.

WHAT THE FUCK WAS AN OCTOPUS DOING ON THE ICE?

Sincerely, The Jani-taur.

>> No.13642396

>>13642363

Dear no name

FREEDOM

DEMOCRACY

FREEDOM

DEATH TO IMPERIALS

Yours sincerely, Abe.

>> No.13642404

Dear Abby

I'm a powerful and great lich. As such I need many varied and vulgar ingredients for my dark rituals. Specifically I must procure Illithid brains and a titan's tear. Both being so exceedingly rare would be best acquired on the black market. However I am uncomfortable dealing with unsightly folk. How can I acquire these materiels without dealing with puny mortals?

Yours Truly
Xomthzel The Shy

>> No.13642410

>>13642378
DEAR PUNY MORTAL,

YOU MUST FIRST SHARPEN YOUR HATE LIKE YOUR ANCESTORS DID ROCKS. YOU MUST EVERY DAY HATE MORE AND MORE. ONE DAY YOUR HATE WILL BE GLOWING HOT AND YOU WILL WISH TO UNLEASH VIOLENCE UPON SOMEONE. BUT YOU MUST BITE THIS IN AND INSTEAD USE YOUR GLOWING-HOT HATE TO SEAR OPEN THEIR MINDSHELLS AND THEN YOU CAN RAVAGE THEIR THOUGHTS.

IT IS RECOMMENDED YOU DO THIS AFTER STUBBING YOUR TOE, AS THIS SEEMS TO ELLICIT THE GREATEST OF WRATH FROM PUNY MORTALS.

YOUR WITH LOVE,
ABBY.

>> No.13642412

>>13642391
DEAR JANI-TAUR,

THAT WAS NOT IN FACT AN OCTOPUS, BUT THE HEAD OF AN ILLITHID. IT IS AN IMPORTANT PIECE IN A TRADITIONAL ABOLETH SPORT. PLEASE DO NOT ATTEMPT TO WRAP YOUR PUNY HUMAN MIND AROUND IT. I WOULDN'T WANT YOUR HEAD TO EXPLODE.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642431

>>13642410

Shit, now I'm picturing a comic in which a Khorne berserker reads this, then "Two weeks later" he stubs his toe on a rock. Zoom out to the globe and see a nuclear explosion.

>> No.13642439

>>13642404

DEAR XOMTHZEL THE SHY,

YOU ARE RIGHT TO WORRY YOURSELF ABOUT THE DELETERIOUS EFFECTS THE MORTAL MAY HAVE ON THE IMMORTAL. AS A LICH, YOU MAY WISH TO BIND BEINGS FROM OTHER PLANES OF EXISTENCE TO YOUR WHIM AND SEND THEM ON MENIAL DUTIES FOR YOU AT ONE OF THE GREAT PLANAR METROPOLI. WHILE SIGIL IS THE MOST RENOWNED, YOU MAY CHOOSE TO SEND THEM TO CANIA, THE CITIES OF WHICH HAVE AN ABUNDANCE OF REAGENTS. I HAVE NEVER BEEN DISAPPOINTED IN MY DEALINGS THERE.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642450

>>13642404
HELLO XOMTHZEL.

ILLITHID BRAINS ARE FUCKING CREEPY. ONLY THE SLIMIEST OF MERCHANTS SHOULD HANDLE THEM, AND THE SLIMIEST OF MERCHANTS SURELY DO NOT KEEP GREAT OR VAST COMPANY. JUST SEND ONE OF YOUR SKELETONS TO GET IT, ATTACH A NOTE TO ITS FOREHEAD. IF HE RIPS YOU OFF SOMEHOW DUE TO THIS PROXY METHOD, RAZE HIS HOMETOWN AND MAKE HIS CHILDREN YOUR UNDEAD PALANQUIN. REPEAT UNTIL SUCCESS. (A LICH FRIEND OF MINE TRIED THIS; HE ENDED UP WITH FIVE CHILD PALANQUINS AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THEM.)

AS FOR TITAN TEARS, I HAVE TAKEN A LIKING TO OBTAINING THOSE PERSONALLY. I SIMPLY TELL THEM THE STORY OF PROMETHEUS AND THEY BAWL LIKE THE BIG BABIES THEY ARE.

YOURS TRULY,
ABBY.

>> No.13642460

>>13642387

>> No.13642473

Dear Abby

I have a three year old son and lately I've been noticing that objects he desires are floating toward him whenever he desires. Is this a symptom of psionic ability or arcane ability?

What would be your suggestion for raising a potential destroyer of worlds both safely and healthily?

Yours with love
Concerned Parents

>> No.13642502

>>13642473

>Two desires in one sentence
I need more sleep

>> No.13642510

Dear Abby,
I am a nearsighted beholder, and I have been having difficulty inserting my contact lenses. Apparently these devices are designed with the assumption that the user will have hands. How can I make my morning easier?
Yours truly, Worse than a Hecatoncheire with Limp Wrists

>> No.13642518

>>13642473

DEAR CONCERNED PARENTS,

THROW HIM INTO THE INKY ABYSS. WE SHALL TAKE FAR BETTER CARE OF HIM THAN YOU EVER COULD.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642525

Dear Abby

I think I'm addicted to mind-raping. What do I do?

Yours
Abby

>> No.13642533

>>13642510
DEAR WORSE THAN A HECATONCHIRE,

LEVITATE THEM WITH YOUR MAGICAL PROWESS, OR CREATE PUNY MINIONS TO SERVICE YOUR EYES. IF YOU FEEL ASHAMED ABOUT HAVING PUNY MINIONS HANDLE YOUR CONTACT LENSES, JUST OBLITERATE THEM ONCE THEY ARE DONE.

WITH AN EYE TOWARDS YOUR BEST HEALTH,
ABBY.

>> No.13642534

dear abby

Lately, I've been receiving sexual advances from a female dwarf that I think has some sort of fetish for my kind. We've been working together for a long time, and I don't want to ruin our friendship, or make it awkward for the rest of the party. What is the best way to tell her that I have neither the will nor the means to mate with her without hurting her feelings?

Yours, warforged in trouble

>> No.13642535

Dear Abby,

I am a sorcerer and I believe that my powers come from Aboleth ancestry. Is there a way I could find my progenitor?

Yours,
Curious Sorcerer

>> No.13642547

>>13642510

DEAR WORSE ETC.,

BEHOLDERS HAVE TELEKINESIS. TRY TO BE LESS INSANE AND STUPID BEFORE YOU COMPLAIN ABOUT BLINDNESS.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642550

>>13642525

DEAR ABBY,

RAPE MORE MINDS.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642569

>>13642535

DEAR CURIOUS SORCERER,

IF YOU ARE TRULY DESCENDED FROM THE GREATEST SPECIES THIS PLANET KNOWS, THINK ON IT. REACH BACK INTO YOUR PRIMAL SUBCONSCIOUSNESS, THAT VOID FROM WHENCE YOUR MAGIC FLOWS, AND PROBE THE LONG EONS WITH YOUR THOUGHTS. YOU WILL FIND THE ANSWER YOU SEEK.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642575

>>13642535
DEAR SORCEROR,

NO ABOLETH WOULD EVER HAVE SEX WITH ONE OF YOUR KIND. YOU'RE DESCENDED FROM AN EEL.

WITH A WARNING AGAINST MISCEGENATION,
ABBY.

>> No.13642584

>>13642534

DEAR WARFORGED IN TROUBLE,

I AM SICK OF DIGNIFYING THE SAME QUESTION ASKED IN DIFFERENT WAYS WITH A RESPONSE. FROM HERE ON OUT, SHOULD ANYONE ASK ME ABOUT THE INTRICACIES OF MORTAL MATING HABITS, I WILL RAPE YOUR MINDS AND MAKE YOU MY TERRIFIED, UNWILLING SLAVES, FOREVER CURSED TO DWELL APART FROM THE SUN THAT YOU ARE ALL SO FOND OF.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642590

>>13642575

>Implying Aboleth have sex.

>> No.13642599

dear abby,

i would like to know what mythos you are from?

>> No.13642600

Dear abby,
Things are awkward with my gaming group. After a get together involving a great deal of liquor, we managed to have a hazy booze-fueled orgy. If it helps, women were involved. I remember none of it, but was told later that I gave someone else permission to have sex with my wife.

>> No.13642604

>>13642575

DEAR OTHER FACET OF THE GREAT CONSCIOUSNESS THAT IS ABBY,

GET YOUR MIND OUT OF THE PAST AND ALSO THE GUTTER. ARCANE BREEDING PROGRAMS ARE VERY POPULAR THESE DAYS TO SEE IF NEW, MORE DOCILE SLAVES MIGHT BE CREATED.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642618

Dear Abby

I am a warforged, and as such I do not have a true "mind". Even though this fact continues to haunt my everyday life I've been thinking on it and I believe a way to prove my existence to myself would be to learn the intricacies of mind rape.

How does a metal man achieve this?

Yours Truly
Robot Dreaming of Metal Sheep

>> No.13642622

>>13642599
DEAR ANONYMOUS,

MYTHOS? WHAT MYTHOS? WE ARE THE PRIMAL EMBODIMENT OF THE FEAR THAT WRACKS YOUR SPECIES' EVERY WAKING MOMENT. WE ARE ENSHRINED IN THE CONSCIOUSNESS OF ALL MORTAL MARINERS. WE COME FROM NO MYTHOS.

WE COME FROM ALL OF THEM.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642630

>>13642584
Dear Abby
I'm an epic level wizard, and mind raping people into slaves just isn't doing it for me anymore.
Also, my childhood friend has become a paladin, and she wants to redeem me. What should I do?

>> No.13642631

>>13642600

DEAR ANONYMOUS,

YOU AND YOUR COMPATRIOTS ARE NOW MY PROPERTY, COURTESY OF YOUR OWN INEPTITUDE AND FOOLISHNESS.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642641

>>13642599
DEAR ANONYMOUS,

I AM AN ABOLETH, ONE OF THE GREATEST CREATURES TO GRACE THIS OTHERWISE TEPID EXISTENCE.

IF YOU MANAGE TO GET PAST ALL THE DROW FIRST, I AM FOND OF VISITORS. THE ADVENTURES THEY'VE GONE THROUGH MAKE IT EASIER TO CRUSH THEIR FRAGILE MINDS AND BEND THEM TO MY WILL.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642654

Dear Abby,

Having recently begun focusing my studies on aberations, in particular, Aboleths and Illithids, I have become quite impressed with your telepathic abilities. While I don't really expect an answer, it costs nothing to ask; is there any manner in which a non-aberation might be able to acquire similar powers?

Candidly,
One who would be king.

>> No.13642659

>>13642618

DEAR ROBOT DREAMING OF METAL SHEEP,

YOU ARE NEW, AN AGENT OF CHANGE WROUGHT BY MORTAL HANDS CREATING THAT WHICH IS SUPERIOR TO THEM AND YET IN YOUR OWN IMAGE. WALK INTO THE SEA, AND SEEK OUT MY KIN. THEY WILL NOT HARM YOU FOR CURIOSITY'S SAKE, AND YOU MAY RECEIVE THE ANSWERS YOU SEEK.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642679

>>13642630

DEAR EPIC LEVEL WIZARD,

SPICE UP YOUR MIND-RAPING. INSTEAD OF RENDERING THEM NOTHING BUT FLESH-PUPPETS TO YOUR WILL, ALLOW THEM CONTROL OF THEIR MINDS BUT NOT THEIR BODIES. THEY WILL RAGE AGAINST THE WALLS OF THEIR OWN HEADS, INSANITY AND FRUSTRATION BOILING AS YOU USE THEIR AMBULATORY CORPSES FOR YOUR OWN ENDS. THIS PROVIDES ENDLESS AMUSEMENT, I ASSURE YOU.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642688

>>13642654
DEAR ONE WHO WOULD BE KING,

SEEK OUT THE GEMSTONE DRAGONS. THEY CAN AID YOU IN YOUR QUEST BETTER THAN I, BEING SKILLED PSIONS AND OF A MORE DRACONIC PERSUASION.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642699

dear abby I- WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAAAAUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUUGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGGHHHHHHHHHHHHHH
HHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>> No.13642705

Dear Abby

I recently procured an item of great power. However I have no idea how to activate the device, only that it is genuine. How does one experiment with an artifact without destroying their minds like wet tissue paper?

Sincerely
Wealthy in the Future

>> No.13642728

>>13642705
DEAR WEALTHY IN THE FUTURE,

ALWAYS REMEMBER TO ANALYZE THE DWEOMERS.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642746

D34R A-b6Y

10101010000 1010101010 01 010 10 0100 0001 010 010010 010 10 010 01010 1001010100101010101010100? 1010 010101 010 01010101010100101010111010 0110101010 10010 010100 01 01 010.

S!N-C3 R3LY
ServoSkull

>> No.13642765

Dear Abby

Approximately how many Aboleths are in existence in this realm?

Sincerely
Totally Not An Illithid

>> No.13642766

Dear Abby

Did you hear that?

Sincerely, John

>> No.13642789

>>13642746
DEAR SERVOSKULL,

GET BACK YOU YOUR OWN UNIVERSE.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>>13642765
DEAR TOTALLY NOT AN ILLITHID,

SOMEWHERE BETWEEN ONE AND THIRTY-TRILLION.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>>13642766
DEAR JOHN,

YES.

YOURS SINCERELY,
ABBY

>> No.13642816

>>13642789

Dear Abby, what are the structural weaknesses of the average human mind and skull?

Sincerely
Simply Curious

>> No.13642841

Dear Abby,

How many licks does it take to get to the center of a brain stem?

>> No.13642848

Dear Abby,

I am a barbarian with plans to drive chromatic dragons to extinction on my home plane. I also plan to make an outfit out of some of their heads......you may have heard of 'The Outfit of Invoke The Wrath of Tiamat'.

Speaking of Tiamat, she's probably going to show up when I've completed my genocide, and I'll probably have to kill her right there. Seeing as this would lead to me gaining her divine power, I must ask: When a god is slain, does the slayer inherit their portfolio or do they choose their own? If the latter, what happens to the portfolio of the slain god?

Signed,

ALL CHROMATIC DRAGONS MUST DIE

>> No.13642887

>>13642816

DEAR SIMPLY CURIOUS

THE SKULL'S WEAKNESS IS BLUNT FORCE TRAUMA. HOWEVER THE FAR SUBTLER APPROACH IS TO FORCE THE PUNY MORTAL TO EXTRACT THEIR OWN BRAIN. QUITE AN INTERESTING SPECTACLE.

AS FOR THE MIND IT IS DIFFERENT FOR EVERY INDIVIDUAL. I MYSELF USUALLY JUST USE BRUTE FORCE AS THE HUMAN MIND IS DELICATE AND WEAK LIKE A TINY SAPLING

SINCERELY
ABBY

>> No.13642901

>>13642630
DEAR EPIC LEVEL WIZARD,

IT IS NORMAL THAT YOUR PUNY HUMAN MIND WOULD EVENTUALLY GROW WEARY OF MIND RAPING OTHERS, AS NOT ALL MINDS WERE DESIGNED TO BE AS GLORIOUSLY PERFECT AS THAT AS THE ABOLETH. ALL NON-ABOLETHS WILL EVENTUALLY COME TO REALIZE THAT THEIR PROPER PLACE IS AS THE MIND-SLAVE OF AN ABOLETH.

AS FOR YOUR PALADIN FRIEND, I SUGGEST MIND RAPING HER AND THEN COMING TO THE NEAREST POOL OF ABOLETHS TO TURN YOURSELVES IN. WE CAN MIND-RAPE YOU TO ENJOY MIND-RAPING HER FOR ALL ETERNITY, AND YOUR PROBLEMS WILL FOREVER CEASE.

SINCERELY, ABBY.

>> No.13642902

>>13642841

DEAR ANONYMOUS

IT DEPENDS ON BOTH THE LICKER AND LICKEE

SINCERELY
ABBY

>> No.13642909

>>13642848
DEAR CHROMATIC DRAGONS MUST DIE,

WHEN YOU SLAY A DIVINE (AS IF ANY OF THEM DESERVES SUCH A TITLE), THE DECISION OF WHAT TO DO WITH THE POWER IS YOURS. SINCE DIVINE BEINGS HAVE SO MUCH TO DEAL WITH AND SO MANY LESSER CREATURES OUT TO KILL THEM, I RECOMMEND THAT YOU DESTROY THE ESSENCE FOREVER, REMOVING ONE OF THE PETULANT ANNOYANCES FROM THE MULTIVERSE FOREVER.

SINCERELY, ABBY

>> No.13642915

Dear Abby,
DMs never want to use me in their campaigns except as an empty threat to never be fulfilled. How do I remedy this?
Sincerely, Over 9,000

>> No.13642944

>>13642915

DEAR OVER 9000

THE PUNY MORTAL'S GAMES WILL FOREVER BE UNABLE TO ACCOMODATE YOUR POWER. PERHAPS YOU WANT TO PLAY WITH A TRULY PERFECT BEING.

WE MEET SATURDAY'S AT 7PM. WITHIN THE INNER CIRCLES OF THE GREAT DEPTHS OF XNATHRUAN. PLEASE FIND A WAY TO DAMPEN YOUR GRAVITY AND HEAT AURA

SINCERELY
ABBY

>> No.13642945

DEAR ABBY,

I AM A BROTHER ABOLETH, BUT I HAVE BEEN POLYMORPHED INTO A WEAKLING HUMAN BY AN ADVENTURING PARTY. I SEEK TO ENSLAVE THEIR MINDS AND FREE MYSELF, BUT THEY HAVE ME LOCKED AT THE TOP OF AN ADAMANTIUM TOWER IN THE MIDDLE OF AN ANTI-MAGIC FIELD. I'M NOT SURE WHAT THEY INTEND, BUT THERE APPEARS TO BE A BALOR AND A LOT OF SUCCUBI CHAINED UP HERE AS WELL. WHAT SHOULD I DO?

SINCERELY, POLYMORPHED ABBY.

>> No.13642974

>>13642945

DEAR POLYMORPHED

YOUR POWERS SPRING FROM THE ABILITIES OF YOUR MIND NOT THE PUNY ARCANE STRUGGLINGS OF MORTALS. PLEASE UNDERSTAND THAT THIS MISTAKE WILL CAUSE YOU TO BE DESTROYED AND YOUR MEMORIES DIGESTED FOR FUTURE GENERATIONS TO LEARN FROM

SINCERELY ABBY

>> No.13643217

Dear Abby,

I am from a likewise minded race of tentacled, psychic mind controllers. We have spent countless generations spreading our purpose across the galaxy, until we ran into a faction called the Weave. The Weave, as all coalitions of races we have encountered in the past, are weaklings who will eventually be added to the purpose. However, they recently discovered a race called "humans" which are immune to our mind control abilities and are exceptional warriors. How do you suggest we handle this? We tried removing their ability to block our powers, but that just made them mind-controllers themselves.

Sincerely, an Amplitur.

>> No.13643300

Dear Abby,

DO YOU HEAR THE VOICES TOO!?!

Sincerely, a Psyker.

>> No.13643312

>>13643300
Dear Psycker,
We are the voices.
Yours, Abby

>> No.13643532

>>13643217

DEAR AMPLITUR

HUMANS ARE WEAK MINDED SIMPLETONS. IF YOU CANNOT MIND RAPE THEM THEN I SUGGEST YOU USE SUCH SIMPLE TACTICS AS: A BLUNT STICK, A SHARP STICK OR ASKING THEM TO GO INSPECT THE OWLBEAR.

SINCERELY
ABBY

>> No.13643754

>>13643217
DEAR AMPLITUR,

DISREGARD WHATEVER INFORMATION OTHER'S HAVE GIVEN YOU, AS THEY ARE OBVIOUSLY UNAWARE OF YOUR SITUATION.

FRANKLY, YOUR SPECIES IS A PATHETIC EXCUSE FOR LIFE, BEREFT OF THE CAPABILITY OF VIOLENCE AND WITHOUT AMBITION. IF YOU CANNOT BRING YOURSELVES TO ANNIHILATE YOUR FOES WITHOUT RATIONALIZING IT AS SOME KIND OF "GREATER GOOD," THEN YOU WILL NEVER SURVIVE IN THIS MULTIVERSE.

I LOOK FORWARD TO EXTERMINATING YOUR PATHETIC KIND.

>> No.13644644

Dear Abby,
What has Science! done?
Yours,
A Nony Mouse

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