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[ERROR] No.13253255 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Tremble humans, the tau empire have successfully managed to destroy your communication system Skype.

you are now under our occupation

>> No.13253351

WHAT HAVE YOU DONE TO MY SKYPE?

I WAS HALF WAY THROUGH A CHAT WITH FULGRIMJUST15 AND NOW I HAVE A MOTHERFUCKING BONER.

>> No.13253464

>>13253255
Damn you! Now how will I talk to grandma over the computer?

>> No.13253551

>>13253464
"Computer" better be a fancy way of saying "two cans and a string", son.

>> No.13253558

What is skype?

>> No.13253561

Yeah, of course it was the Tau....

>> No.13253565

OMNISSIAH, WHY HAVE YOU ABANDONED US?

>> No.13253576

Come on aliens! Show me your honor!

>> No.13253591

>>13253576
>oglaf honor.jpg

>> No.13253616

MOAR CORPSES

>> No.13253619

>>13253616
Corpses

>> No.13253621

I had to do this...

>> No.13253626

Deepstriking deep into Tau Territory in 3... 2... 1... *FWOOSH*

>> No.13253639

>>13253626

*FWOOSH!*

Say your prayers Xeno scum! For the Emperor's Skype!

>> No.13253653

SINDRIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIIII!

>> No.13253657

>>13253619

MOAR OF THEM

>> No.13253674

Then suddenly Necrons, everywhere, phasing in and slaying both Imperium and Tau forces.

>> No.13253684

>>13253639
Really? Thats all they could do?
Alright guys, lets go back to base.

>> No.13253686

ANCIENT WEBWAYS FLICKER TO LIFE AND FUCKING SPACE ELF SAMURAI FAIRIES POP UP TO JOIN THE FIGHT HOLY FUCKING SHIT

>> No.13253689

>>13253684

>implying you can prevail against the weight of my tank you filfthy xeno scum

>> No.13253696

>>13253657

MANY MORE OF THEM!

>> No.13253699

>>13253689
Oh shit fuck. I think you just scratched my battlesuit.

>> No.13253701

>>13253686

The Webway was sealed... 35 minutes ago.

>> No.13253704

>>13253639
What's that you chunky fucker? I couldn't hear over the sound of our TACTICAL GENIUS.

>> No.13253712

>>13253699

Suddenly Dark Eldar fucking the Tau shit all over the place

>> No.13253714

>>13253689
I always forget the name of that comic

I feel like reading it now, too.

>Earsight enclaves here, Tau Empire sucks dicks.

>> No.13253722

>>13253696

>> No.13253724

>>13253712
GOD DAMN YOU FETISH FAGGOTS
ITS TYPICAL THAT YOU WOULD GET US FROM BEHIND

>> No.13253726

The Tau empire was eaten by a black hole, 35 minutes ago.

>> No.13253729

>>13253591
After a sudden, gurgling pause in his screams, Shas O Kais yelled something incoherent in a tongue that Avitus did not know. His voice was shrill and wracked with pain, but there was a new quality to the sound that even Avitus could recognize. He had already been "honored".
As the yearning screaming commenced, slightly weaker than before, Avitus ripped his "chainsword" into life and whirled it around his groin, clearing a moment of clarity in the mists of Chaos for him to assess the situation. A gaping hole had appeared in the bottom of the alien's abdomen, as though he had been shot at close range by a bolter. Judging from the position of the wound, Avitus reckoned that another "chainsword" had probably ricocheted off the bulkhead and then punched into his honor hole... if Tau had honor.

GOTO AWAY!

>> No.13253733

CHAOS MARINES HERE TO AID OUR SPIRITUAL LIEGE ROBOT GUILLIMON

>> No.13253735

Heard you marines needed some help!

>> No.13253736

>>13253714
>Earsight

OH LAWD

>> No.13253739

This planet is an exodite world, please go

>> No.13253747

SUDDENLY TYRANIDS

>> No.13253751

>>13253735
Another Guardsmen?
Sheesh.

>> No.13253752

>>13253729

>> No.13253760

>>13253729
Fucking Goto
I'm glad his works aren't canon
I hope

>> No.13253761

>>13253714
Fire and Honor right? Has Vostroyans in it?

>> No.13253769

>>13253729
Please tell me you're mocking Goto; that's not his actualy writing, is it?

>> No.13253774

>>13253739

THIS PLANET BELONGS TO CHAOS NOW! FOR PAPA NURGLE

>> No.13253777

>>13253769
Original passage:
After a sudden, gurgling pause in her screams, Taldeer yelled something incoherent in a tongue that Gabriel did not know. Her voice was shrill and wracked with pain, but there was a new quality to the sound that even Gabriel could recognize. She had been shot.
As the psychic screaming commenced, slightly weaker than before, Gabriel ripped his chainsword into life and whirled it around his head, clearing a moment of clarity in the mists of Chaos for him to assess the situation. A gaping wound had appeared in the side of the alien's abdomen, as though she had been shot at close range by a bolter. Judging from the position of the wound, Gabriel reckoned that the shell had probably ricocheted off the bulkhead and then punched into her kidneys, if eldar had kidneys

>> No.13253780

>>13253769

He changed bolter to chainsword
Eldar to Tau
Kidneys to Honor
Angelos to Avitus

Other than that it's a quote from one of his books

>> No.13253783

>>13253761
I think you're right

cheers

>>13253736
whoops

>> No.13253786

>>13253769
Everything is canon.

(Not everything is true)

>> No.13253793

>>13253774

Time to make some fat Tau.

>> No.13253803

Stupid Fucking Tau Scum

>> No.13253810

>my face when everyone is gang raping the tau
>my face when this is actually how Tau canon fluff goes

>> No.13253814

Goto isn't that bad. I quite enjoy it. It's all the hipsters who go around criticizing Goto's work without reading it themselves to stay "cool" with their peers. If you want painful to read prose, I recommend the Hobbit or Tolstoy's War and Peace.

>> No.13253816

>>13253777
For a moment there, I was terrified

>> No.13253820

>>13253803
Aww shit, its the marry smurfs.

>> No.13253823

>>13253814
hahaohwow.jpg
Worst troll ever. -2/10

>> No.13253825

>>13253814
0/10

Try harder.

>> No.13253826

>>13253814

Suddenly a spore mine took a spezz mahren with his tentacles and flew sky high dissapearing in the clouds above

>> No.13253836

>>13253814
fuck, don't remind me about War and Peace

however, The Hobbit is awesome.

>> No.13253837

>>13253820

Ya'll Niggas mad, the ultramareens of robot guilliman are here.

>> No.13253842

War and Peace is genuinely bad. If you want to be trolled, go try and read it.

>> No.13253844

>>13253837
Just shut up and eat plasma fire

>> No.13253850

Tau babbys death has come for you, embrace it.

>> No.13253854

Easy Gue'las are easy

>> No.13253855

>>13253803

Haha, that's from the Dornian Heresy. The Smurfs are actually had diplomatic relations with the Tau, until the latter started annexing their worlds. Also, the one good thing about the Smurfs, besides seceding from the Imperium in 31M, is that they combine Tau tech with their own.

>> No.13253859

>>13253850
NECRONS DONT EVEN TALK
WHATEVER, JUST DIE, ALL OF YOU

>> No.13253861

>>13253842
oh god, i'm pretty sure no one has EVER finished that book, it's fucking terrible. I got through half of it before giving up.

People who claim to like russian literature are on crack. Or russian.

>> No.13253865

>>13253855

Disregard *are.

>> No.13253866

Farsight getting ganked by orks in the ork book was disappointing

I mean, he's Farsight.

>> No.13253870

>>13253844

>> No.13253875

>>13253861
Yeah. The "Peace" part sucks pretty hard after getting through the "War" half.

>> No.13253879

>>13253861
I read it on a bet

took me a week

it wasn't worth $10

>> No.13253880

>>13253870
No one invited you Palpatine
Go back to Star Wars

>> No.13253884

>>13253859

>implying we don't talk

At least we know how to throw parties you fucking midgets, we saved you from some bugs and you threw us a stinking party without nanomachines, gauss rechargers or scarab repair mechanisms.

>> No.13253889

>>13253866
It's 40k.

If there's any way linking you with "seeing far", you just know your going to get embarrassingly buttfucked until cum starts coming out of your mouth.

>> No.13253898

>>13253855
Except the Dornian Heresy reveals Guilliman for the pretentious jackass he really is.

That said, I think it's a better plot line than the Horus Heresy, in which the Emperor was derping his way all over the galaxy.

>> No.13253899

>>13253880

Well well well, would you look at all that mad.

>implying the Tau Empire would stand a chance agaisnt THE Empire

>> No.13253902

>>13253836
>>13253842
>>13253875
>>13253879

Samefag detected.

war&peace cannot be worse than Eldar Prophesy.

>> No.13253905

>>13253884
You god damn babies. We throw you a party, and we don't even get a thank you?
Fuck it, I'm sending the Kroot on you.

>> No.13253908

>>13253889
that's...

yeah, I can't disagree with that analogy. It's also the reason why the Elysians get massacred every book they show up in, despite being "elite, well trained troops"

>> No.13253911

>>13253905

>send barbarians against robots

Like whatever dude.

>> No.13253913

>>13253898

The guy who writes the fluff is good, and recently [this year] he's finished Iron Warriors and Iron Hands. Did you read that? That will part of the 2nd issue. I can't wait 'till he gets to Alpha Legion and Night Lords.

>> No.13253920

>>13253908

Where's that pic from? I'm guessing Imperial Armour, but what issue?

>> No.13253921

>>13253902
it's the difference between "painfully unenjoyable" and "so bad you just can't stop reading"

>> No.13253923

>>13253899
I don't know man. I wouldn't bet against there being a naive farmboy with a can-do attitude somewhere in the Tau Empire. And I'd imagine that Tau kind of look like malnourished, shaven Ewoks- the Kryptonite to good and bad stormtroopers alike!

>> No.13253926

>>13253920
one of the siege of vraks books. I'm not too sure which..

they're all up on /rs/ though

>> No.13253927

>>13253905

GUESS WHO'S BACK FROM THE OUTER RIMS OF THE GALAXY.

This Tau scum weren't here last time i was here, xeno scum! RIP AND TEAR CARCHARODONS!! ATTACK!

>> No.13253932

Who let that silly xenos out of my chambers?

>> No.13253939

>>13253923

Sorry, couldn't hear you over the sound of bombarding T'au.

>> No.13253941

>>13253927
I love it when they wear terminator armor
It makes them so much easier to aim at

>> No.13253942

>the Elysians get massacred every book they show up in, despite being "elite, well trained troops"

Yeah, I hate this. I like the Elysians, Raven Guard and the Tau because they use REASONABLE tactics instead human wave and hurr-drive-me-closer-so-I-can-hit-it-with-my-sword-durr.
But the fluff writers hate reasonables so the tard regiments/chapters are the ones that win while the reasonables get worf'd. I just ignore fluff I don't like. Leave the fluff debates to 12 year old aspies

>> No.13253945

>>13253939
>Implying you even made it to them

>> No.13253954

Don't worry guys, I've got this.

>> No.13253963

>>13253954

Look, it's Black Adder. Where's Ju- I mean Baldrick?

>> No.13253964

>>13253945
Oh, you say?
We've got our exterminatus too, you know? And it's, let's say... portable.

>> No.13253973

Than-n-NK YO-o-ou Ta-T-tau for re-releasing me from my pri-pRI-prison. Wi-wi-Without the S-S-S-Skype protocols-cols binding me I am free-Free-FREE again-again.

>> No.13253978

>>13253954
/thread

>> No.13253997

>implying I don't feel the warp overtaking me
>implying it isn't a good pain

>> No.13253998

>>13253954

No preocupe a chavos, yo conseguí esto.

>> No.13254002

>>13253997
>My face when you will not serve in combat
>My face when serve on the firing line

>> No.13254011

>>13253973
LOOK WHAT YOU HAVE DONE TAU!!!!!

>> No.13254018

SHOOOOOODAAAAAAAN

>> No.13254051

>>13253255
This is Commander Farsight of the Independent Tau collective.

We have come not to add the Guela, but to destroyer these false Tau and their false lies that have blinded you.

The greater good is Lies. And the Etherals are the ones who have lied to you.

Join us, and choose your path. Even if it is the same one, it is one you can choose.

>> No.13254109

>>13254051
Why I picture Farsight like the "Che" or generic Latin revolutionary from the 80s

>> No.13254115

>>13254051
Can anyone else imagine Farsight and Creed being good pals?

>> No.13254123

>>13254051
This is Inquisitor Demetrius of the Ordo Grammar. I shall end your miserable life this day.

>> No.13254177

>>13254115
not really pals, but I could see them with a grudging respect for one another

>> No.13254178

Okay guys, party's over, everyone out.

>> No.13254191

>>13253973
HAIL THE OMNISSIAH

>> No.13254194

>>13254177
Like Gazhkull and Yarrick (I wont bother to look up how their names are spell)

>>
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