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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.13097384 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

You encounter this at 1am in the woods of Louisiana.
You are alone and the nearest house is 5miles away.

How do you survive?

>> No.13097394

Pull out my penis and make sweet sweet love with its face.

>> No.13097404

rolled 6 = 6

i shall smite this evil for god!

>> No.13097406

>>13097384
I use Malediction to send it back to the warp.

>> No.13097407

It doesn't look very physically impressive. I kick it in the nuts and apply my fists liberally to its misshapen face.

>> No.13097412

Pull out my penis and make just half sweet love with its face.

>> No.13097419

Get a stick and beat the fuck out of it. A common problem with horro movies and stories is that people just have no balls. If I'm trapped in a life or death situation I'm not going out without a fight, a really violent adrenaline driven fight.

>> No.13097425

looks like a fucking weakling

I bet it's no stronger than your 2nd sterotype greasy thin nerd with acne all over their face.

>> No.13097428

I take my steel-toed workboots to its ugly face.

Little white turd doesn't have any muscle mass.

>> No.13097429

As myself right? Then I pull out my gun and shoot it or if it's too close I beat it to death with it.
So what the fuck is it anyway?

>> No.13097435

It does look kind of weak. I would beat it to death with the nearest rock.

>> No.13097440

I shoot it dead

Because

A: I am in the woods
B: It's 1am
C: If I'm in the woods I'm probably killing something
D: Jesus Christ if I'll let something like that live

>> No.13097444

>>13097384
I put on my robe and wizard hat.

>> No.13097445

Unfortunately, 7.62x39 hits like a lance battery. Thank God I have my sword.

This, of course, assumes hostility. Is it safe to assume hostility?

>153 Vidyin

>> No.13097447

>At 1am
But it's 1:44am.

>> No.13097450

I take my knife out, toss it aside, and wrestle it.

>> No.13097451

>>13097429
Some guys automatic camera took this picture.
The camera was for photographing wildlife or someshit. I don't know.
Anyhow the camera was find smashed but the memorycard was intact and this was on it.

/x/ is all over this shit and I'm guessing OP just came from there.

>> No.13097476

>>13097451
Right then. /v/ said it's a Bloodsucker. I still think it look like Mudmen from Left 4 Dead 2.

>> No.13097485

>>13097451
I just like how /x/ is shitting brix, but /tg/ is all for the unsubtle slaying of the beast.

It looks weak, but I could use the xp

>> No.13097488

>>13097476

Granting this; Grenade Launcher.

First time I played that level, I didn't see a single one of those fuckers.

>> No.13097491

>>13097476
I'd much rather it be a mudman because that would mean they die from three shoves to the face.

>> No.13097495

>>13097451
>>13097476
Looks like exp. to me, adventurers.

>> No.13097503

>>13097451
Looks fake, bro.

>> No.13097505

>>13097476

If it was a bloodsucker, you'd already be dead.

>prexed Staminate

>> No.13097507

>>13097485

/tg/; And not a single fuck was given that night.

>anthew priestley

Captcha plays a priest named Anthew.

I assume he turns undead.

>> No.13097547

>>13097503

>We know.
>Stop spoiling the fun.

>volligh command

>> No.13097552

COME AND HAVE A GO IF YOU THINK YOU'RE HARD ENOUGH
Really, I think I'd have my rifle with me if I was out 5 miles into some unknown deathforest.

>> No.13097554

Those gits serious?

>> No.13097574

>Go to /x/
>See thread about this thing
>Anons shitting their pants left and right
What a bunch of pussies.

>> No.13097575

Was just in /x/. Confirmed for a prank.

They are also impressed by our confidence in being able to beat the crap out of it.

>> No.13097578

After going through the /v/, /x/ and /tg/ threads on this subject I have come up with this conclusion

/x/: EVERYBODY PANIC
/v/: FUCK, I'M SLEEPING WITH MY LIGHTS ON
/tg/: Well this looks like a weak one but I could use the exp.

>> No.13097593

Somebody needs to screencap all the threads and set them side-by-side

>> No.13097594

>>13097578
I mean obviously, it's a runty git.

Be a different matter if it was bipeda...

TWO FEET! TWO FEET!

>> No.13097595

>>13097578
/k/: Don't look like it can outsmart bullet. Lets go hunt it.
>>13097488
>>13097491
Yes. It would easy mode. Just a few punch would kill it.
>>13097505
Nope. I would knife'd it if it get close.

>> No.13097604

>>13097578

I'd chalk these reactions up to /tg/ being neither a bunch of high school faggots, nor a clusterfuck of tin-hatters.

Oh, and we play Call of Cthulhu for fun. So yeah.

>> No.13097609

>>13097578
WE HAVE XENOS IN THE SOUTH! WE GOTTA STOMP OUT THIS HERSEY!

>> No.13097611

>>13097578
I'm still sleeping with the lights on, but that's because I don't have darkvision. I want to see this thing coming.

>> No.13097616

>>13097574
/tg/ talks about roleplaying. /x/ is roleplaying.

>> No.13097622

>>13097595

Whatever works. I'd prefer my sword though. Better range, and sharper.

>Offlown according

>> No.13097628

>>13097575

It's /x/.

/x/ loves us.

>> No.13097638

Tell Steve that his costume looks retarded

>> No.13097642

>>13097616
/x/ plays the game; /tg/ plays the metagame

>> No.13097645

I have seen scarier stuff in the desert. I have a knife that would handle that thing nicely that I usually carry on me, hell if I am in the woods that late I would just use my freaking mag light, it's heavy enough. Then again I have the hillbilly deluxe night stick.

>> No.13097646

>>13097622
You would carry a sword around everywhere instead of a knife?
>>13097628
I thought /x/ loved /k/?

>> No.13097650

>>13097384
I turn away from the mirror and continue my hunt.

>> No.13097659

>>13097646

God damn. /x/ is such a whore.

>> No.13097670

>>13097646

The reason I bought my sword was as a hunting side weapon to complement my shotgun and rifle. I don't buy a weapon unless I intend on using it.

>Reetiond Bejebe

>> No.13097671

>>13097659
I am so sad right now...

>> No.13097674

rolled 88 = 88

>>13097384
Why the fuck is there a mirror in the woods?
Did someone really think I'd be scared away by my own reflection?

>> No.13097676

We're white-knightan for /x/-tan. Of course we'd play tough guy.

>> No.13097679

>>13097646
Nah, /x/ has always been /tg/'s girl.

/an/ is the one who loves /k/, though why that is, I have no idea

>> No.13097699

>>13097679
Mecha.

Even though everyone on /k/ thinks they're retarded except for trolls and newfags.

But yes, as a /k/ommando and a fa/tg/uy, I say I pull out my M&P9 and shoot the fucker.

Just one doesn't look too dangerous. A pack would be bad news bears.

>> No.13097704

>>13097659
According to /x/ itself. /x/-tan fuck with every board.
>>13097670
Oh wow.
>>13097679
That's not what /k/ saaid.

>> No.13097707

well, clearly she's upset I was late for our date, as I lost sight of the path in the dark, but I remembered to bring chocolate. That'll calm her down.

>> No.13097716

>>13097646
/d/ tried to start some shit a while back about /k/ stealing /x/ from us. By our powers combined, we banished the /d/emon.

>> No.13097723

>>13097384
I would probably run at it screaming, and show it everything that went wrong with my life.

With my fists.

>> No.13097737

>>13097704

If you must know, I do carry a knife as well as my shotgun / rifle and sword when I head out. I'll also have a good hunting cuirass by January.

Just because I can is a perfect reason to do stuff.

>vessiell incessant

>> No.13097751

Any recommendations for helping me get to sleep with this non-threatening yet disturbing image on my mind?

Also, shank it with a screwdriver or bludgeon it with a crowbar?

>> No.13097759

>>13097751
Crowbar. If not its head, you can at least snap its spindly limbs.

>> No.13097777

I just wandered here from /k/...

I wonder if it will taste like chicken, me and my .357 security six will find out though.

>> No.13097794

>>13097751
Crowbar. You can get more striking potential with it. A screwdriver won't do much for you. The thing looks like it will fall to a few good hits.

>> No.13097803

>>13097777
Hehehe....I think you will know.
Nice quads, BTW

>> No.13097804

>>13097505

I had to look at the second frame of "looking through the binoculars" for a long while to see it.

PANTS

SHAT

>> No.13097828

Call for my Battle Brothers, and kill the xenos scum.

>> No.13097830

>>13097751

Crowbar. I always wanted to hit someone with a crowbar, and this is a close second.

>> No.13097843

>>13097751
If you are not a little girl (or a 20something skinny nerd) you should be able to take this out with just about everything.

It looks like a 14 year old male (tops) in size.
It has thin limbs which means not alot of strenght.
It has two hueg eyes meaning you can just jam a finger in there to cause massive pain.

However it looks like it has alot of muscles in the shoulder area meaning they can probobly throw a punch or two.

Still, if it crawls into your room at night you should have the odds in your favour.

However if it has the element of suprise your chances would be slimmer (but still over 50%)

>> No.13097845

>>13097751

Go to sleep confident that you are the most badass, highly evolved killing machine that swings his dick around on this god-forsaken planet. You are cruelty. You are wrath. You kill for your pleasure. More frightening still, you enjoy the suffering you inflict.

Right now, cold and huddled in some pathetic bedding of leaves and dirt, that thing... no, that mistake, tosses, turns, and finds no respite from the raking talons of fear. Fear of you.

>> No.13097846

>How do you survive?

>> No.13097852

>>13097575

Assuming it's would just be some kind of monster beasty and not some bullshit supernatural thing, it's built like a runty human. You don't have to be that STRONG to kick sand in it's face at the beach.

>> No.13097855

RUN
LIKE
HELL

>> No.13097858

Pet it.

>> No.13097864

>>13097828
Hehehe...

It's been a while since I opened up my /tg/ folder. It's smaller than I remember.

>> No.13097869

>>13097419
This. If it somehow gets in my face, it's losing it's eyes, and then getting it's head smashed in after I get disentangled.

If I can't get a stick, I bum rush that fuck and stomp it to death.

I outweigh that thing by a bunch, which helps. It probably doesn't have any more muscle mass than I do either.

>> No.13097885

I carry 3 knives on me at all times. Wait for it to rush, counter and go for the eyes and/or throat. Don't let it get to my vitals.

>Captcha: Helene Vanues
Is that who this is/used to be?

>> No.13097941

Five miles away from the nearest house? Good, I keep running. If I can outrun this scrawny hairless thing maybe the one I'm really running away from will stop to slaughter it first before continuing the hunt.

>> No.13097954

take my k-bar and stab it on the neck..... it has to be worth something on ebay, right?

>> No.13097960

1am? Good, we've got plenty of time left.

>> No.13097970

Can I be what goes bump in the night /tg/?

>> No.13097972

Here is wha--

FACE YOUR DOOOOOOOOOOM!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

My fate is now up to the warp...

>> No.13097979

>>13097972

"I cast Weaken Veil."

>1927 unditlba

>> No.13097995

>>13097845
By the way, my friend.

Brofist. I will remember your words.

>> No.13098006

Set my pet bear on it.

>> No.13098007

>>13097979

It's good that I am an Astropath!
This soul bounding better be worth it?

(My sense of smell and hearing are really good--that's how I know what I face)

>> No.13098009

It's runty and malnourished.
Punch it in the face with my foot and leave.

>however, trivial.

>> No.13098017

Magic Missile spam

>> No.13098024

1. Capture it.
2. Train it.
3. Make it wear a suit.
4. Bring it to corporate meetings for obvious advantages.
5. ????
6. Profit

>> No.13098033

Rip it apart with my bare fingers and teeth.

Eat its corpse.

Wear its skin as a hat.

>> No.13098047

I run away, crouch in some area lacking light, waiting for the music to fade.

>> No.13098053

>>13098007

You rolled three nines.

>> No.13098084

What would I do?

1) Die from gaze attack.
2) Rise as Bodak 24 hours later

>> No.13098085

I headbutt the everliving fuck out of it.
Also it looks like it was once humanoid. I know its weak spot.

>> No.13098090

>>13098085
its braincase?

>> No.13098112

>>13098090
Yeah, let's keep it at that.

I simply have one philosophy during the act of fisticuffs: You could fight fair, our you could win.

>> No.13098141

kill it with dakka!

>> No.13098181

>>13098112
There are people who fight fair?

....

Why?

>> No.13098196

It has eyes.
It can be blinded.

It has limbs.
It can be broken.

It has a mouth.
It can scream.

I am human and will not suffer the alien.

>> No.13098199

>>13097970
HIS NAME IS MR. BUMPY

HE GOES BUMP IN THE NIGHT

>> No.13098215

>>13097384
Recognize it as my own character.
Offer him a book and a ride to the nearest dumpster.

>> No.13098314

>>13098181

Brainwashing my people who fight normally (unfair) duu!

>> No.13098346

>>13098314
Ok, I can accept that

So long as it's not something silly like "morals", any moral code that tells you to fight fairly isn't worth the breath it takes to relay it.

>streelle aimoinus
What?

>> No.13098361

Shout "I'M MAD" and then beat the shit out of it. Look at its feeble arms, look at its decrepit shoulders and legs. Not enough squatz and oatz on that one.

>> No.13098363

I wouldn't be that far into the woods without my kukri machete, I think you can see where I'm going with this.

>> No.13098600

>flex
>he jelly

>> No.13098631

I don't go into the woods without my walking staff and my Ka-Bar bayonet knife. If I break the staff on it's skull before it dies, I draw the knife and fight my best. If I die, at least I don't go out like a bitch.

>> No.13098656

I'd summon up my courage by shouting some phrase like "THIS HAND OF MINE IS BURNING RED!" then proceed to beat the living shit out of it with a stick, or my fists if I have no weapon available. I might end up dying, but damn it I will not go down without a fight.

>> No.13098717

>>13097593

THIS.

>> No.13098765

if innawoods, id be ok, because if im innawoods, id have a little something with me...

>> No.13098808

>>13097384

That's some /x/ shit right there. Take it to them, and they'll have a massive orgy over your question.

>> No.13098832

>>13098765

Britain cannot into SKS.

I recommend the INNAWOODS Lee Enfield Rifle.
Guaranteed to work for a few hundred years.

>> No.13098842

I think most of us are forgetting that we have a flashlight. Grab this thing by it's throat so it can't chew at ours and bludgeon its skull in with the flashlight. A good smack to the head as it tries to pathetically bite you will daze it enough to whack it more.

I personally don't think I'd have time to draw my knife/gun against something like that. It may be retarded as fuck to not sneak up on you but it still looks fast.

>> No.13098909

kill it and take its stuff!

>> No.13098935

>>13097384
hey OP, give us the vid link eh

>> No.13101204

I would use this. Pic related, it's mine.

>> No.13101211

or maybe this

>> No.13101221

>>13097384
PUPPY!!!!

>> No.13101226

beat it with a stick rip its head off and then shit down its throat

>> No.13101231

Made it through the night.

Weakass encounter is weakass.

>> No.13101236

>>13101226
Nah man, use a crowbar. Break those spindly limbs and then bash its head open.

>> No.13101270

it kinda looks like the grims from resistence 2. maybe chimeran invasion

>> No.13101328

I'd take off my coat and fight it sportsman like.

>>
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