Quantcast
[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / g / ic / jp / lit / sci / tg / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports / report a bug ] [ 4plebs / archived.moe / rbt ]

Due to resource constraints, /g/ and /tg/ will no longer be archived or available. Other archivers continue to archive these boards.Become a Patron!

/tg/ - Traditional Games


View post   

[ Toggle deleted replies ]
[ERROR] No.13086060 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Dear /tg/

Look at this image carefully.

Especially the brain.

THERE'S A SMALLER OCTOPUS INSIDE CONTROLLING EVERYTHING.

>> No.13086072

And inside that octopus?

>> No.13086083

What part of the octopus makes it rape Japanese school girls?

>> No.13086084

>>13086072
There must be a even smaller octopus inside controlling the smaller octopus inside the octopus.

>> No.13086090

>>13086083
Gonads.

>> No.13086094

>>13086060
>>13086084

So Octopi are the real world equivalent of TTGL?

>> No.13086100

>> No.13086107

>>13086094
Tentacles pierce the heavens.

>> No.13086117

>>13086084

But, those octopi must, logically, be controlled by other octopi, and so on and so on.

The building blocks of matter, atoms, make up octopi, which we've already established are made up of other octopi. Therefore, the building blocks of matter are octopi.

YOU ARE NOTHING BUT OCTOPI. And Cthulhu is thus pleased.

>> No.13086118

it is octopi all the way down

>> No.13086122

It's not a octopus.

It's a Dalek. Inside a octopus.

>> No.13086126

>>13086107

and underage girls' virginity

>> No.13086128

There must be something either funny or poetic about having the heart(s) right between the gonads and the anus, but I can't find it.

>> No.13086134

Does this mean that an octopus is really just a biomechanical battle suit?

>> No.13086144

>>13086134
>>13086134
They're planning to invade. Fuck

>> No.13086161 [DELETED] 

>>13086144

They're intelligent, but they have a terrible memory.

They'll plot to attack our cities, but by the next day they'll completely forget about what they were doing.

That is all that's protecting us.

>> No.13086165

WHAT IS THIS MU-TAATION?
MUST EXTERMINATE. EXTERMINAAAATE

>> No.13086166

And there is nothing you can do about it.

>> No.13086168

>>13086134
You can picture that movie.
The brave fighters of the Octo-Force-8 strike team rushing through the launch bay of their aquatic base, Tentacle Prime, their suits awaiting their entry.
>Octo-5, powering up!
>Octo-4, powering up!
>Octo-3, powering up!
>Octo-2, powering up!
>Octo-1 .. wait. We need three more guys! This doesn't make sense! We only have five pilots!

>> No.13086174

>>13086161
They're also psychic.
PAAAUUULLL

>> No.13086179

>>13086161

Unfortunately, they're also psychic. One of them blew his cover on that to profit off the humans, so his overlords offed him before he could tell anything important.

>> No.13086187

Fuck yes, Octo-Dendrobium

>> No.13086190

>>13086168

Then the three maverick octopus rangers show up in the nick of time, they power up, and save the day. The maverick octopi exchange their goodbyes with the team and leave, not coming back until the next episode.

>> No.13086210

>>13086190
Can you imagine how long it would take to animate the fucking high five (erk .. 'high eight') scene?

>> No.13086221

>>13086190

Hey, there are 3 maverick octopi, and octopi have 3 hearts each!

Surely that's not just a coincidence...

>> No.13086230

>>13086210

The animators could cheap out and do the scene off screen.

All you would hear is a several minutes of smacking, sucking, slipping, and popping.

>> No.13086238

>>13086230
for all you know there's tentacle sex going on

you just don't know it.

>> No.13086245

Fucking octopi.
That's how they work.

Now if only we could figure out those magnets...

>> No.13086253

TWO OCTOPUSES.

TWO OCTOPI.

AHAHAHAHAHahahAHAHAHAHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEHEE

>> No.13086261

>>13086221
This is why they could never make the Planeteers into octupi.
>Let our powers combine! Earth!
>Air!
>Fire!
>Water!
>Heart, heart, heart!
See? Throws off everything.

>> No.13086263

How many hearts does an octopus have? Also the anus is pointing straight to the mouth. Does it often eat it's own crap? Octopus is a stupid animal.

>> No.13086282

>>13086263

Three, apparently. And no, it isn't.

>> No.13086300

>>13086261

With your powers combined, I am CAPTAIN KRAKEN!

>Captain Kraken~
>He's a hero
>Gonna take those fishers down to sub-zero (sea level)

>> No.13086301

>>13086263
The vent is behind the head. The mouth is inside the mantle betweent the tentacles.

>> No.13086303

>>13086263

>Octopus is a stupid animal.

Bitch, there are octopi that can pick fucking locks. Can YOU pick a fucking lock? I don't think so.

>> No.13086312

i'd funnel fuck that octopus so hard

>> No.13086323

/tg/: Like /an/, but mostly about octupi.

>> No.13086327

So, apparently the octopus's heart stops when it's excited or scared.

>> No.13086332

>>13086263
bitch please, the anus is pointing away from the head.

get tentacle raped plx

>> No.13086339

>>13086327

>> No.13086347

This is Madness!

>> No.13086358

>>13086332
>get tentacle raped plx
I'd love to.

>> No.13086360

>>13086263

>Octopus is a stupid animal.

NO YOU ARE A STUPID ANIMAL!

No but seriously, Octopuses are some of the smarter animals on earth, look it up to see how devilish they are, they predict the future, they pick locks, shut down lights, shut down entire instalations, etc.

>> No.13086370

>>13086347
Madness?

>> No.13086372

>>13086360
In short: A badass animal.

>> No.13086374

>>13086360
>they predict the future, they pick locks, shut down lights, shut down entire instalations, etc.

THEY'RE UNSTOPPABLE UNSTOPPABLE.

>> No.13086381

Octopus: The Roleplaying Game

>> No.13086385

>>13086370
Madness!

>> No.13086393

>>13086347
MADNESS, you say?

>> No.13086396

>>13086385

MADNESS?

>> No.13086400

>>13086347
THIS IS SPARTAAA!

>> No.13086401

Foolish creatures of flesh and blood, you touch our mind, fumbling in ignorance, you exist because we allow it, and you will die because we demand it.

>> No.13086411

>>13086400
Don't you mean rhy'leh

>> No.13086414

>>13086401

Get out of here you piece of shit squid bitch, this thread is for octopi, not you ten-legged freaks of nature.

>> No.13086425

>>13086327
octopus' hearths literally skips a beat when he in love

d'aaaaaw

>> No.13086428

>>13086414

This exchange is over.

>> No.13086437

>>13086414
>>13086428
Silly squids. You will never defeat the OCTOPIRE

>> No.13086441

I fucking love you, /tg/.

And I'd totally take that octopus' hectocotylus in my mantle cavity, if you know what I'm sayin'.

>> No.13086444

Ah, I see. It needs 3 hearts to keep both the inner an outer octopi going. Which just leaves the third one for... the wives of fishermen, I guess.

>> No.13086460

I'd come up with a joke involving octopus, jellyfish and the phrase "You Jelly" but my creativity is fucked.

>> No.13086461

>>13086444
You silly man, it is for the sea! It is a cruel lover, true, but the third heart of the octupus will always, always belong to the sea!

>> No.13086472

>>13086461

The third heart is for all women, old and young. This includes the sea.

>> No.13086492

>>13086460

Octopus: Goddamn, Jellyfish! Check out all 'dem legs you got!

Jellyfish: U JELLY?

>> No.13086502

Thesis: Octopi will be the next organisms to gain human levels of sentience/intelligence.

Evidence:
1) No contraint on size/shape of head
- Human intelligence could not be evolved in apes until loss of arc supporting jaw muscles from top of head, allowing rounder, larger, infant type skull
- Octopi live in aquatic environment and lack demanding cranial structures, skull shape/size does not require significant skeletal support
2) Humans and few other more intelligent species demonstrate tool use
- Octopi have demonstrated tool use
- Octopi, unlike many other intelligent species, have the physiology to easily manipulate their environment

Refutation:
1) Humans are social animals, and thus have extensive abstract intellectual demands
- Octopi Are not social animals, lack demand for meta-cognition
- But Octopi have displayed extremely complex signaling patterns

Discuss

>> No.13086516

>>13086502
Let's see if an octupus can pass a Turing test.

I suspect they may be artificial intelligences, masquerading as sea life.

>> No.13086521

>>13086502

you forgot that they live in the ocean. they can never master fire and therefore never cook food. eating cooked food was a crucial step in our evolution.

>> No.13086524

>>13086516

Or maybe they are aliens who came to earth but have no way of returning home.

>> No.13086543

>>13086521
Explain

Prevention of disease allowed longer life span, put more stress on intellectual rather than constitutional characteristics?

>> No.13086553

>>13086521
That's not entirely true. They could find a way to cook food using the power of the sun, by rising to an appropriate depth and manipulating the water clarity through modified ink releases, forming a crude liquid prism.

>> No.13086555

>>13086521

Fact: Spongebob Squarepants lives underwater.
Fact: There was an episode of Spongebob Squarepants where Spongebob, Patrick, and Squidward went camping.
Fact: They had a campfire.
Therefore, fires are possible underwater.

The main things keeping octopi from evolving to human-levels of intelligence are predators. Namely, fucking SEA BEARS.

>> No.13086567

>>13086555

But what about when the time comes that Octopi start drawing circles around their settlements?

>> No.13086611

>>13086555
Predation obviously did not keep humans from evolving their current level of intelligence.

Sea bears or mother fucking Smilodons?

>> No.13086615

>>13086567
What if they aren't circles..but ELDER RUNES

>> No.13086628

>>13086615
Are you implying Spongebob Squarepants was a worshiper of the Elder Gods?

>> No.13086629

Oh shit guise!

http://www.youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=pPhy5FZIdvk

>> No.13086642

>>13086502
>>13086543
hmm.....I think you are a octopus, trying to see how clever we humans are.

EXPLAIN!

>> No.13086646

>>13086555
Actually, I think the main thing keeping octupi from developing greater intelligence is FUCKING WATER. It's hard to make and use tools, custom built structures, etc. when you're bereft of solid, dependable materials that don't turn to shit when totally wet 24/7.

>> No.13086654

>>13086646
http://www.youtube com/watch?v=hIh4DDl1ejI

>> No.13086657

>>13086543

simply put, cooked food takes less energy to digest. so over time our guts shrink since they have to do less work. all that extra energy goes into making our brains bigger.

>> No.13086664

>>13086642
It is too late now! Your doom is already coming surface dweller!

>> No.13086665

>>13086646
They could grow them out of coral, provided they spent generations on each and every tool so designed. By carefully placing rocks in the coral during different stages of its growth, they could reproduce any number of mechanical components, then assemble them.

Gentlemen, I give you the coral engineer.

>> No.13086668

>>13086657
Interesting. I hadn't heard that one before.

>> No.13086671

>>13086664

Shit.

Guys, someone has to call the Japanese. They can send either sushi chefs or women, either will at least slow down the inevitable wall of octopi we are going to face...

>> No.13086676

>>13086664
WHAT BUT I WAS INVADING!

>> No.13086679

The other MASSIVELY hindering reason why octopi have not gotten very far is their incredibly short lifespans. Average is 2 years, with the female dying as she starves to death taking care of her eggs until they hatch.

Kind of hard to build an intelligent race when procreation is suicide. (No elders to teach the young. All they have is instincts.)

>> No.13086680

Oh shit guise! Oh shit!

>> No.13086684

I for one welcome our loathsome tentacled overlords.

>> No.13086687

>>13086654

Obviously they shall build a society using our refuse.

>> No.13086692

>>13086654
Using a broken glass for something is nice, but until the Octopus can MAKE ITS OWN TOOLS rather than jury-rigging our litter, they'll still remain non-sapients.

>> No.13086695

>>13086671
Wall?
Wall?
How three dimensional of you.
Flying octupi, attack!

>> No.13086699

>>13086664

You will never win, Eight-legged devil.

Not while I'm around.

>> No.13086705

Actually I think cuttlefish are the next. They've already seem to develop their own language, they're sociable, and have some the largest brain to mass ratio.

>> No.13086727

>>13086679

Obviously, there would eventually have to be a system by which older, non-procreating octopi would teach the newborn orphans the lay of the land.

>> No.13086732

If an octopus ran for President, I would vote for him

>> No.13086755

>>13086676
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d83nSFEoz2A&feature=channel

I don't see you having a tiny squid for a brain, baaka

>> No.13086759

>>13086727
Widows and gay octupi now have employment venues.

>> No.13086763

>>13086705
All glory to the hypnocuttlefish

http://www.youtubeDOTcom/watch?v=Pbs3FDyIlDg

>> No.13087175

>90 replies
>on a topic about octopus

>> No.13087185

>>13087175

I know, right? this thread on /sci/ would have been filled with atheist trolling or just sunk without any replies.

>> No.13087187

>>13087185
Yeah, I'm proud of you all.

>> No.13087194

Wait, wait, wait, wait, wait.
Wait.
If the exoctupus is the powered armor frame for the inner octupus, does any of their rivals have powered armor?

Where to they fight?

>> No.13087200

>>13087194
In space, of course.

>> No.13087201

>>13087194

yes

all the time. every octopus sees every other octopus as either food or a mate.

>> No.13087206

>>13087194
>does any of their rivals have powered armor?
Don't know
>Where to they fight?

Anywhere. Everywhere.

>> No.13087212

>>13087201
... There's a difference?

>> No.13087218

>>13087212
One is a octopus,

...the other is a japanese school girl

>> No.13087227

>>13087218
So, no difference.

>> No.13087228

Fuck yeah Octopi

>> No.13087229

>>13087218
They fight crime.

>> No.13087264

>>13087229
during dark dark times

>> No.13087275

Octopi are smart sure, but even with their three hearts they have ridicilously short lifespans so it would require massive spontaenous mutation for them to get anywhere.

And since they they have three hearts, if they suffer a heart attack could they just go "HNNGGH oh wait, I got two spares. Nevermind"

That and I've actually tasted octopi blood, if you can call it that. Its so rich in copper that its practically blue, hell it IS blue. It could work well as a food colouring..

>> No.13087281

>>13087264
come the tide may, high or low
octopus
OCTOPUS
OCTOOPUSSSSS

>> No.13087284

>tasted octopi blood, if you can call it that. Its so rich in copper that its practically blue

That's not blood. It's what powers their exoskeleton power armor.

>> No.13087287

>>13087284

technically, they don't have skeletons but I get what you mean

>> No.13087306

Well we already know for a fact that octopi can convince the average family that they are in fact humans and not octopi.

http://www.octodadgame.com/

>> No.13087322

>>13087306
WE'RE FUCKED.

>> No.13087382

Gentlemen, the word 'octopi' is born of the fallacious notion that 'octopus' is a second declension Latin noun, which it is not. It is Latinized, but originally derived from Greek. Perhaps the most correct plural form would be 'octopodes.'

>> No.13087390

>>13087382
Octopi is funner. Sometimes, for the joy of it, I decide that the multiple of moose should be meese.

>> No.13087391

Here's something that's been bothering me, guys. Octopi had hemocyanin in their blood rather than hemoglobin. The advantage to this is that it's darn good at getting oxygen around the body. However, go outside a certain pressure range and it turns you into the athletic equivalent of a three-pack-a-day smoker. Similarly, that's why said mollusks require multiple hearts.

Now, humans developed greater brains due in part to the lessened energetic need in the digestive tract, thus allowing the brain to develop freely. However, octopods have nowhere they can cut their caloric budget, as it were. (I could be wrong about this, feel free to inform me otherwise.) My point being, octopi are indeed clever, but is there any potential for intellectual growth? I doubt so.

>> No.13087417

>>13086657
iirc if our guts had developed to handled meats a little better in their raw state, the increased enegy demands for the gut itself would make higher brain function trickier.

So, cooking food, to get nutrients that our crappy guts can digest. Oh, but before cooking, tool using.

The first proto-hominid that managed to use a rock to crack open a bone that even the hyenas could not devour opened an energy gap for those monkey-brain scavengers. Able to access a food source that nothing else was out-competing them for, the increase of fats and proteins (from delicious marrow) led to human beings that were smarter and stronger, ready to move up the food chain.

(all of this based on the best science / guesses we have developed so far)

So, tool use as a shortcut to being sabretooth chow less often, then preparing and cooking food to overcome the shortcomings in our system and give those developing brains lots of juice (the better to learn how to Rip And Tear)

>>13087391
this is a good point. the modern octopus is refined and evolved, specialized into its role by chemistry. Just as we humans would face insane hurdles trying to go live in the ocean without bones and with a different blood chemistry, an octopus seems to be lacking in developmental slack, would have a hard time finding something that can change/allow it to move into a widely different niche.

Would be interesting to see how an octopus would develop over time, if we were able to short-circuit its destructive aging. We know they learn, what happens when they have time to learn more?

>> No.13087422

>>13087391
you're implying they aren't already smarter than humans and just hiding it

>> No.13087429

>>13087417
>short-circuit its destructive aging
We've recently done this for mice..hopefully humans soon. Maybe Octopus later?

>> No.13087431

>>13087422
>image
I am not seeing a benefit to their deception from their point of view.

>> No.13087443

>>13087431
Isn't if obvious, they're waiting until the perfect moment to spring their trap and crush humanity, heralding a new age of octopus rule.

but I've said too much, even now I hear eight knocks at my door...They're on to me! if I don't make it through this, you must pass on the word, the octopi must be stopped at all costs!

>> No.13087449

>>13087431
What makes you think that those consumed are not considered sacrifices for the cause of their terrible empire or criminals sent to their deat

>> No.13087451

>>13086755

5:30 the male has a meter and a half long penis that he uses like a nail-gun...
I fuckin' LOLed

>pic somewhat related

>> No.13087456

>>13087451
jesus fucking christ.

>> No.13087459

>>13087451
Giant squid confirmed for master race.

>> No.13087464

>>13087449
I just had a campaign idea.

>> No.13087469

>>13087464
Do share.

>> No.13087496

>>13087469
The PCs are intelligent sea life of varying posts and social positions within a hidden undersea society. Each has been convicted- wrongly or not- of a heinous crime, and has been sent to the Deathlands for execution. Said Deathlands are fishing grounds.

Do the PCs escape, run through the city? Break for it in the fishing grounds, dodging the hungry grasp of humans? Something else entirely?

The whole campaign will be fraught with distrust, mystery, and the PCs running for their goddamn lives.

>> No.13087506

>>13087496
I wrote a short story about a circus of sea animals with this exact plot when I was like 10 or 11.

>> No.13087507

I submit that humanity should uplift the noble octopus, and construct for him suits of powered armor, with which he may walk on land.

These suits will act as the interface mechanism for giant octopus shaped robots, and we shall employ them to farm asteroids for us.

See where I'm going with this?

>> No.13087513

>>13087391
One of the primary barriers for octopus developing advanced tool useage (beyond hiding in coconuts and opening jars) is that their tentacles have limited strength and control due to lacking a solid bone structure.

The strength of an octopus grabbing someone comes mostly from the suckers, similarly their tentacles have no firm basis for muscular contraction. An octopus could grab a brush, but even with the brain to do so it could never paint a picture.

>> No.13087514

>>13087507
no not really. Unless you're going to somehow create daleks.

>> No.13087518

>>13087514
Nope. Just eternal fractal octopi.

They use the money from the asteroid mining to buy BIGGER robots for their big robots to pilot, so they can mine moons and small planets. So on and so forth.

>> No.13087527

>>13087518
Why not simply uplift octopi and leave them to their own desires?

>> No.13087529

>>13087506
Perfect. Last time I tried a "eerily akin to childhood tales" campaign, it was a roiling success.

You must speak to that part of your players, I think. It makes a good break from the usual stuff I write.

>> No.13087531

>>13087507
My friend wrote a story about a project to uplift cuttlefish, equip them with individual fluid chamber suits and send them to begin colonization of Europa or something like that.

Communication with the away team fails, eventually the project is considered a failure and is forgotten. However, the cuttlefish prove more intelligent than anticipated and their population booms. Manipulation of their tools become more sophisticated, until their begin to adapt and improve them. A religious cult springs up regarding the existence of the "Ocean", a vast and distant paradise beyond the stars where all cuttlefish may inhabit the same borderless fluid chamber simultaneously.

Many generations later, Earth recieves transmissions heralding the triumphant return of an alien fleet. In archaic english, they announce their ancestral claim to Earths Oceans. People flip the fuck out.

>> No.13087539

>>13087496

"Help! I'm A fish!" ?

>> No.13087577

>>13087531
my fucking god.

What happens next?

>> No.13087582

>>13087531
HUMANITY AND CUTTLEFISH, LAND AND SEA, HAND IN TENTACLE, WE RULE THE STARS.

>> No.13087585

>>13087582
>>13087582
and thus space illithids were born after many generations of genetic manipulation.

>> No.13087593

>>13087585
REGULAR Illithids are Space Illithids!

And no genetic engineer would produce the clusterfuck their reproductive system is.

>> No.13087595

>>13087451
Haven't watched the video, but that's only half of the story.

The standard for squid mating is the hectocotylus arm common to octopi as well, but squid that lack the hectocotylus (generally deep sea species) often have gigantic dicks reaching well beyond their mantle like an extra tentacle. Squid, excepting the barnacles, have the largest penis size compared to body length in any animal, penis sizes of deep sea species can be about the same as the rest of their entire body. When they caught one of those (it was a hooked squid, if I recall) to examine, the last act of the animal was to extend its penis and cum on the operation table, there's a research paper detailing just that. Some species have sperm that can melt flesh, the sperm case is deposited onto the female's skin and it just digs its way in like a little sperm-bearing, fleshboring drill. Others open a wound on the female with their beaks and deposit their sperm cases there. The area around the eyes is a favorite spot for both methods (since the skin is thinner in this area, the squid find it easy to rip a hole and try to target it.) However, in the deep sea it isn't exactly easy to see, so they can sometimes mistake other males or even their own organs as potential mates, literally attempting to mate with themselves. Their aim is also abysmally low, they sometimes miss the target and hit their own arms, or end up skewering their mate's eyeball with their sperm cases.

>> No.13087600

>>13087595
squid bukkake.
serious business.
seriously corrosive business.

>> No.13087601

>>13087595
Their mating tactics are effective even in humans, there are no less than three seperate cases where a poor sod ate freshly caught squid that wasn't quite well-prepared and complained of throat pain afterwards. As it turns out, in all cases the spermatophores were still active and took the opportunity to lodge themselves in the soft flesh in the patients' throats (there's a site that details one case, though it'll take me a while to find it.) It seems squid can rape you, even beyond the grave. Squid have no age of consent, even immature squid willingly mate and often have a sac around their mouth which they use to store sperm until their eggs are ready to be fertilized. During mating, some squid females can bite chunks off the male, or even eat him altogether.

In argonauts (the octopus, not Jason & co.), the male's hectocotylus detaches during mating and continues its task while attached to the female, I don't know if there's a squid equivalent to that.

>> No.13087609

>>13087601
Squids confirmed for violent sexual deviants? Compared to us, at least?

>> No.13087622

>this thread

>> No.13087623

>>13087539
Think of it this way: the government wants you dead, the local fauna want you dead, and anyone in the open ocean will gladly screw you over for survival.

If you had six prison escapees fleeing through Africa, it would be the same story.

>> No.13087654

>>13087595
>>13087601

Something about /tg/ makes it possible to find a person who knows too much about any topic you choose.

Now if this were /d/, someone would have previously tried being throat-raped by a squid, and 6 other people would be flirting with them.

>> No.13087667

Thanks for your request.
It has been added to our database and the thread will be archived as soon as enough request for that thread have been made.
This thread has been requested 1 times now.

>> No.13087683

>>13087622
I remember that fish! but from wheeereee?

>> No.13087686

>>13087683
Earthworm Jim

>> No.13087715

The new face of hard rape, queen of /d/

>> No.13087717

>even their own organs as potential mates, literally attempting to mate with themselves.

Goddamnit, lucky fuckers, I wish I was that nimble.

>> No.13087731

>> No.13087736

>>13087601
Addendum: Found it, excuse the rather poor English.

>Surgically excised immotile white substance deeply stuck in the buccal mucosa after eating packaged raw squid for dinner
http://www.fujita-hu.ac.jp/~tsutsumi/case/case037.htm

There's also those two, but I haven't been able to get the papers. The first one may be identical to the previous site's case.
>Squid spermatophores caused inflammation of the throat and mouth of a Japanese man who had previously eaten sushi. When he visited his doctor, complaining of pain in his throat and mouth, inspection revealed numerous small spindle-shaped structures in the mucosal tissue, identified as squid spermatophores. [Otolaryngology 59, 245]
>Two patients after eating raw squid complained of severe pain and foreign body sensation in their oral cavity. On consultation of a doctor, several small spindle-shaped stings stuck on the surface of the tongue and mucous membrane of the oral cavity were found. After all stings were pulled out, the pain was allayed and the wounds eventually healed. The foreign bodies were tentatively determined to be the sperm bag of Tadorodes pacificus. These cases suggest that fresh squids should be carefully prepared before eating them raw or "sashimi". [Tokai J Exp Clin Med 17, 195-97]

There's also some evidence that squid can crossdress. Cuttlefish do this extensively, smaller males imitate typical female colors and behavior to get closer to other females without bigger males chasing them off. This disguise is so effective that other males sometimes try to mate with those disguised males. There's limited evidence that some squid can do the same.

>>13087654
Well, I'm just a /jp/ user passing through.

>> No.13087814

>>13087731

Did... did that Octopus just decloak..?

>> No.13087826

>>13087715

>> No.13087846

>>13087731
STEALTH CAMOUFLAGE!?

>> No.13087865

>>13087731
I guess you could call that one a decoy octopus.

>> No.13087875

>>13087715
>>13087826
What is this show and is it worth checking out?

>> No.13087938

We already know they use simulators on how to infiltrate human society.

>> No.13087950

>>13087875
Shinryaku! Ika Musume

It's rather like Yotsuba, except with squid. Take that as you will.

>> No.13087986

>>13087875

It's a moe anime, and one of my guilty pleasures

I cannot in good conscious say it's "worth checking out," but.. well.. here

http://www.anilinkz.com/category/shinryaku-ika-musume/

You know that comic about the guy playing JRPG vidya and saying "No one must know my secret"? Yeah, this is the anime equivalent of that

>> No.13087996

>>13087986
>conscious
Conscience, derp

>> No.13088000

>>13087875
It's cute.

Sort of a deep sea abomination adopted by a beach fast food stand as a pet.

>> No.13088014

>> No.13088041

>adopted
Don't you mean
>enslaved

>> No.13088118

>>13087986
>guilty pleasure
No need to feel bad, Ika is show done right. It's lavishly animated, genuinely funny and has an extremely good voice cast.

>> No.13088135

>>13088041
Yeah, pretty much. Follows the "you broke something now I own you" trope that the japanese are so fond of.

>> No.13089704

Another couple of problems that octopodes are going to have to overcome are; terrible blood oxygenation, and an awfully short lifespan...

>> No.13089741

>>13088041
Ika is not only enslaved by the girls at the beach shop, she's also enslaved by the squid parasite on her head.

By the way, the parasite has apparently destroyed part of her brain and replaced it with itself If the parasite is removed or killed, she dies. It happened once in the manga dream sequence.

Ikamusume is actually pretty dark when you think about it.

>> No.13089817

Ika is almost literally Cirno with an octopus for a hat.

Goldmine of reaction images too...

>> No.13089878

OH DEAR MERCIFUL GOD IT HAS 3 HEARTS. THATS ONE AWAY FROM 4.

THEY EVOLVE INTO TIMELORDS!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>> No.13090110

>>13089878
Timelords have TWO hearts, not four.

>> No.13090123

>>13090110
Obviously, the Octopi are more advanced.

>> No.13090132

The great one is ok with this thread.

>> No.13090233

>>13089704
You know what has good blood oxygenation and staggering lifespans? Bivalves.

A mixed octopus/giant clam mollusc would be unstoppable.

>> No.13090245

>>13086628
am i the only one in this thread who came when saw this ? anyone? good.

>> No.13090487

u guys, hey u guys!

u know what we should do right!

Hey listen!

We should, like use genetic e-n-g-i-neering to make the octopuses live longer and make them so that they aren't always angry at eachother like they would be friends and all.

And then. We would relase them in the ocean, and there they would develop civilization and conquer all of the seas.

We would uplift them like in that one book and the movie with monkeys.

What do you think guys :DD

>> No.13090745

So, uh...

Have any of you tried producing a homebrew that lets you play as a cephalopod or a crustacean? Just curious.

>> No.13090784

Want to know the really disturbing thing? The outer octopus in that image is not the final layer.

IT IS SIMPLY ANOTHER BRAIN. WE ARE ALL PART OF A LARGER OCTOPUS.

>> No.13090839

>>13090745
Play Eclipse Phase. You can be a sentient octopus.

>> No.13092314

>>13090487
Go for it. I assume you'll have this done by Tuesday?

>> No.13092473

guys, stop this. it's stupid. octopi conspiracy? yeah right. living warsuits controlled by smaller octopi? come on! human females willingly playing hosts to octopi controllers? octopian empire silently ruling over 60% of the seas? no one would believe you. i... strongly advise you to drop this subject.

>> No.13092524 [DELETED] 

>>13092473

hey bud why don't I drop my dick in ur ass

>peduncle ounwag

>> No.13092630

>>13092473
...something aboiut you seems really trustworthy!

>> No.13092803

>>13086521
They can survive on land for short periods of time.
>>13087507
I concur. See: http://xkcd.com/520/
>>13086705
If we did that, we'd be fucked. They'd totally metal-tentacle-rape us all.

>> No.13092876

>>13090839
Fuck yeah. Octomorph all day, everyday

>> No.13092904

>>13092630
For your kindness, I will offer you an advice. Before 8.8.2011 go to small port town of Ipotco, New Mexico. Stand on the beach and whistle main theme from Bond blockbuster "Octopussy". A stranger will offer you a ride. Accept it. I'm telling you this because, uh, beaches of Ipotco are particularly beautiful and all strangers there are kind and friendly. Yes.

>> No.13092933

>Human/Cuttlefish alliance

Hmm...

>> No.13092942

>>13092933

>> No.13093034

Some forward thinkers are researching how to better understand our tentacled friends

http://gizmodo.com/5709418/is-a-prosthetic-tentacle-better-than-a-prosthetic-arm

>> No.13093080

>>13093034

That idea is bullshit. I'd rather have a vice-grip than this piece of crap. It was designed by a bloody arts student. Fuck that.

You want to see a really good piece of prosthetic engineering that actually works?
http://news.discovery.com/tech/robot-gripper-technology.html

>> No.13093222

>>13093080
>gets mad over the quality of synthetic tentacles

>> No.13093354

>>13092803
Blarg. Mixed up posts.
>>13087531
How do they reproduce?
>>13087391
Actually, hemocyanin is much worse than hemoglobin when it comes to transmitting oxygen. This neccessitates a higher rate of blood flow (more blood for the same amount of oxygen) and thus multiple hearts to speed it up.
>>13087601
>>13087595
Sounds like a hoax that combines bedbugs' mating methods (drill penis of doom and rape - sometimes raping other males) with squids' (hectocotylus).

>> No.13093412

>>13093354
>>13087736
Durr. Took too long to post. I stand corrected.>>13090745
>>13092933

>> No.13093450

>>13093354
Also, damnit, incomplete post. *cries* (It's loud in here, there's a poker game two feet behind me, and I'm TIRED.) Anyway... >>13090745
I've been working on something like this. Can't decide between octopi (more versatile in terms of flexibility and capability for manipulation) and cuttlefish (more impressive skin, smarter).
>>13092933
And this makes me think of the piece of fiction I've been working on ever-so-slowly. It's good to see some of my fellow fa/tg/uys think similarly.

>> No.13094376

>>13088135
>>13089817
My My Ika-chan, are you making sure that you behave?

>> No.13094422

>> No.13095240

>>13093354
>Sounds like a hoax that combines bedbugs' mating methods (drill penis of doom and rape - sometimes raping other males) with squids' (hectocotylus).

http://www.rug.nl/biologie/onderzoek/onderzoekgroepen/oe/organisatie/personalpages/artikelen/hovingb
iobull2122007.pdf

Jeez, search a bit before you post nonsense.

>> No.13097236

I think to develop human-level intelligence an animal needs language. It's how we think and is a big thing we have that no other animal comes close to.

Being aquatic and non-social, octopi don't seem to be under evolutionary pressure to get language.

>> No.13097248

THERE'S A SMALLER OCTOPUS INSIDE CONTROLLING EVERYTHING.

>196 posts and 45 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

what the fuck, people

>> No.13098444

>>13097248
There's a smaller octopus inside you controlling everything too.

>> No.13098458

>>13097248

It's just like Hollywood, only with an Octopus instead of Hollywood, and a tiny octopus instead of the Jews!

>> No.13098464

>this thread is still around

my brain is full of cephalopods

>> No.13098609

>>13098464
Argh, you're one of them!

>> No.13099365

>>13097248
You want this to be more /tg/ related?
A friend of mine put together an octopus-druid build that reliably did 250 damage per round.

>> No.13101793

Why do octopuses have only one gonad?

>> No.13101799

It's a Fractalpus!

>> No.13101900

>>13101793
How many should they possibly need?

>> No.13102114

>>13101900
As many as they want.

Inside the other gonads.

We're all just part of another octopus penis.

>> No.13102730

I fukkin love tentacles. My first romance.

>> No.13103437

Next on wikileaks. US has secret contact with hidden octopi empire. Has been supplying them with arms for years in an attempt to combat underwater pirate taliban.

>> No.13103462

>>13103437
You would imagine octopi have enough arms as is...

>> No.13103463

>>13102730
Has that been cropped from a larger picture? If so, may I ask for a link to the full thing?

>> No.13103476

>Dear /tg/
>Look at this image carefully.
>Especially the brain.
>THERE'S A SMALLER OCTOPUS INSIDE CONTROLLING EVERYTHING.
210 posts and 47 image replies omitted. Click Reply to view.

Seriously, never change /tg/, never change.

>> No.13103535

>>13103463
Found it via iqdb:

http://danbooru.donmai.us/post/show/102199

It's not really good.

>> No.13103571

>>13103535
I rather like it, actually - thanks!

>> No.13103582

>>13103535
never one to turn down a tentacle.
>they rarely "ask" anyhow.


This thread, golly.
>>13093034
Science!

>>13102114
>We're all just part of another octopus penis.
this is either profound, or scary.

>> No.13106498

Does anyone know if octopuses ever intentionally have sex with something that isn't an octopus?

>> No.13107476

>>13106498
Cannibalism, rape, transvestites, nymphomania.

Octopi sexuality is complicated and little studied, but xeno-fucking? Not showing up in a quick google. This article however is fabulous. Octopi are truly the perverts of the sea.

http://articles.sfgate.com/2008-04-17/bay-area/17147431_1_octopuses-uc-berkeley-aculeatus

>> No.13110105

>>13103535
that in itself is cropped from an even larger picture I think

>> No.13110197

>>13107476
"an octopus with 7 arms is the devil"

>> No.13110245

>wake up from nap
>skipped /tg/ yesterday, spent time with gf
>see this thread on the front page
>catch up on octupi goodness
My heart is filled with love, my chromatophores blossom and flow with vibrant colors.
Never change, /tg/, never change.

>> No.13110301 [DELETED] 

>>13086100

>> No.13110328

Interesting note: I was watching a show about "Hey, what about Earth in the far future when humans can't live on it anymore?"

One of their "Hey, this evolution might be cool" involved octopi that were tree dwellers, slinging themselves from tree to tree. It talked about them being a viable contender in this state to human-like intelligence.

Not that these shows aren't wild speculation, but...

>> No.13110367

>> No.13110486

>>13110367
badumtshh

also, mimic octopus up in this mother

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=ygh1-ul6E94

>> No.13110497

>>13110486
1:20 furry turkey with human legs

holy fuck

>> No.13110510

Interestingly, the plural of octopus is not 'octopi' or 'octopusses'; It's 'Octopods'.

There's a long and complicated story on how they fucked up the translation, when the word was "Englified".

Long story short: Just as planned.

>> No.13110524

>Octopods

I think you mean "Octipodes".

>> No.13110532

>>13110524

"The term octopod (plural octopods or octopodes) is taken from the taxonomic order Octopoda but has no classical equivalent".

Both are correct.

>> No.13110590

I think I've spent too much time at /d/ because for some reason this was on my computer...

>> No.13110617

>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H8oQBYw6xxc
>small fish annoying it
>imitates an animal that eats small fishes
Well damn this thing seems quite intelligent, i wonder if they learn to imitate things or are all the imitations instinctive?

>> No.13110631

>>13110617
Octopods (you learn something new every day) apparently forget everything they've 'learned' every 24 hours. This makes teaching and training them very difficult, but is balanced by their quite amazingly fast learning speed.

You can teach one to pick up the red ball when the red light shows, the green ball when the green light shows etcetera very quickly, but you'll have to teach him AGAIN tomorrow.

>> No.13110663

>>13110631
So they have no long term memory at all??

>> No.13110677

>>13110631
so how does mimic octopus work? I doubt it sees all the shapes every day.

>> No.13110688

this. thread.

>> No.13110689

The theory is that, because the mother ALWAYS dies after the children hatch (she guards the eggs for 6 months w/o eating), each and every generation essentially faces the world as the first of their kind.

If octopi started to raise their children they would be able to pass on the VAST amount of knowledge they learn in life, leading to who knows what.

I'm actually writing a short story chronicling the evolution of an octopus-like alien race from the time they start caring for the children to their first contact with humanity...

IN SPEEEEEESSSS!!!1!!!1!!1!!!!!

>> No.13110701

>>13110631
Yes, that's what we wanted you to think...Little do the humans know that we grow stronger and more intelligent by the day...
(Translation: Just as planned...)

>> No.13110708

>My face when I realize I'll never witness the Rise of Cephalopods into sentience and civilization, nor their fascination about the Age of Mankind and their struggle to understand why we manipulated their evolution so they could become the new dominant species on Earth.

>> No.13110725

This is a very sexy discussion.

>> No.13110740

Imagine an octopus as large as the North Pacific Giant, with the venom of the Blue Ringed Octopus, the perception and abilities of the Mimic Octopus, and the ability to breath/live outside of water.

Now imagine it nurturing its young.

Now imagine it worshiping Cthulhu.

>> No.13110761

>>13110725
It just got sexier.

>> No.13110781

>>13110740
>Nurturing its young
>Octopi learning from parent(s)
You just made the deep ones.

>> No.13110870

>>13110708

>my face when I'll never see the Primordial Cell multiplicate and grow in complexity via mutualism and predation, nor the Harvest ages from now when all that came from the Cell is salvaged for the molecules and materials created in the process.

>> No.13110932

>>13110870

>> No.13113297

>>13110631
They also show that babies don't remember for longer than a week, if you do a single iteration lesson like that. This doesn't mean that babies can't ever learn, and I thus would assume that it is not the case that octopuses can't ever learn.

>> No.13115574

>>13110740
Now imagine two octopinoids nuzzling, their tentacles entwining in soft caresses.

>> No.13115634

>>13115574
The purest, most perfect display of love.

>>
Name (leave empty)
Comment (leave empty)
Name
E-mail
Subject
Comment
Password [?]Password used for file deletion.
Captcha
Action