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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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13042924 No.13042924 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

8 seconds.

>> No.13042929

in the name of nurgle i'll take more than 8 seconds to make this post

>> No.13042936

Fap to the cat. On the cat. And everything in the surrounding area.

That's gotta get me points with somebody.

>> No.13042937

I'm already doing something to earn me the favor of Slaanesh, if you know what I mean.

>> No.13042952
File: 270 KB, 600x800, 1268020792889.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13042952

>>13042924
FOR SLAANESH!

>> No.13042954

Just grabbed my penis.

Slaanesh is pleased.

>> No.13042959

Stick my dick in a rusty soup can while turning the light on and off.

>> No.13042962

smush the brownies my grandma made into a bucket
heat bucket in microwave
fuck bucket
eat cumsoaked brownie mush
FOR SLAANESH

>> No.13042964

Just stared blankly at screen.

Nurgle is pleased by the delicious stagnation of my brain.

>> No.13042971

>>13042937

btw I'm doing cocaine, you fucking perverts.

>> No.13042974

Capture it for Chaos!

>> No.13042976

>>13042954

No he's not, Slaanesh has nothing to do with sex at all. Just excess.

>> No.13042978

I just mashed my hamster. BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD!

>> No.13042992

>>13042976

Sex involves excess.

When it's done right.

>> No.13042996

I JUST GRABBED A KNIFE AND STABBED A RANDOM MOTHERFUCKER, GOING TO FIND AN AXE TO FINISH HIM OFF!

>> No.13042999

fantasized about traps

>> No.13043000
File: 42 KB, 875x880, 1289363512845.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13043000

>>13042978

>> No.13043015 [DELETED] 
File: 448 KB, 558x1000, 1290712123327.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13043015

A bit too heretical for me but if the Dark Gods will it...

>> No.13043020

>>13042992

Grabbing your penis is not excess.

>> No.13043024

I farted and the pungent smell killed the majority of people on the street, any survivors were mutated horribly.

Nurgle like me yet?

>> No.13043027

I planned and plotted a itty bitty tiny thing that will fuck over my Dark Heresy Player Characters

Tzeentch is happy.

>> No.13043035

>>13042924
I just coughed without covering my face. Praise Nurgle.

>> No.13043037

I fap furiously and blow my load all over the place. This should earn me a day or two before I get spawn'd, which I will use to begin setting up my on-campus slaaneshi prayer group (obviously under a cutesy nickname with some toned-down but not inaccurate tenets). After I have dufficiently indoctrinated a large enough following, I will sacrifice all but the most loyal to summon a daemonette, then begin the process over again until eventually I have 6 daemonettes and a warehouse full of drugged-out ravers. I then turn the daemonettes loose on the crowd, slaughtering them all even as they reach the peak of their pleasure, enticing a keeper of secrets to enter this world and raze the city, that I might build my palace upon its ruins.

Cue Earth becoming demon world and getting sucked into the Warp.

>> No.13043038

>>13042976

Excess has nothing to do with it. The Chaos Gods are products of emotions, and excess is not an emotion. Slaanesh is the god of pleasure and desire. Slaanesh's followers practice excessive amounts of pleasurable things, but only because the more pleasure they feel and the more lust they feel the more Slaanesh grows.

>> No.13043040

I'm being lazy.

Excessively lazy, that is.

>> No.13043042

10 second 3 way with my 9 year old cousin and his friend

>> No.13043046

I just blew up the local puppy orphanage, which god did I gain favor with?

>> No.13043057

>>13043046

ALL OF THEM

>> No.13043058

I... I haven't washed my feet for a year!

>> No.13043059

>>13043038
Slaanesh IS about obsession and the gluttony for excess. Emotional gluttony and obsession are both emotions.

Sex and drugs are two things very easy to over-desire.

>> No.13043060

I ejaculate blood. Khorne and Slaanesh are confused as to which of them that was intended for. I have gained favor with Tzeentch.

>> No.13043062 [DELETED] 
File: 89 KB, 558x1000, 1283758864114.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13043062

>>13043015
fixed it for you

FOR CHAOS!

>> No.13043077

>>13043046
Khorn smiles on your random bloodshed

>> No.13043079

Rolled a twenty on a "Burn the village down" check!

>> No.13043082

I'm androgynous, extremely paranoid, have ocassional hallucinations, I'm living mostly on mixure of various chemicals, I'm unable to feel pain (literally) and probably lack large portion of human emotional scale...

>> No.13043089

I just ate cookies, even though I'm NOT hungry. Muahahaha! This excess should please Slaanesh

>> No.13043095

>>13043059

Obsession and gluttony are emotions, yes, but obsession is something that describes worshippers of any of the chaos gods and gluttony is just a large amount of desire.

>> No.13043096

I just killed a woman with my penis while chanting a confusing ritual about turning her sking pale blue.

And I have syphullus.

YAY KAOS UNDIVIDED.

>> No.13043098

I'm browsing /tg/, that should suffice.

>> No.13043106

I just had a 2,5 hour long bath in water so hot that my skin literally peeled off.
I think Slaanesh would like something like that.

>> No.13043109

>>13043082
So you (literally) have that neurological disorder that means it's a miracle you got through childhood without breaking your neck and frequently maim yourself on accident because you can't feel pain (literally)?

>> No.13043133

>>13043082

Holy shit man you're so cool and mysterious and dark and edgy.

Can we like, hang out?

>> No.13043134

>>13043109

Yes.

>> No.13043140

I just ate a mouthful of dry fruity loops. The damage was terrible and I'm bleed from my gums. I was mid fap so I finished on the likeness of the emporah. During this entire ritual I forcefully expelled my bowels into the bottoms of my boxers and I've yet to amend the situation.

four kayhoss

>> No.13043143

hitted my gf, wich god does that please?

>> No.13043151

>>13043134
Yeeeeah there are about half a dozen people with that condition on the planet at any given time. I call bullshit.

>> No.13043154

>>13043134
You should join the army. You'd be a damned effective soldier right up until you randomly pitched over in the middle of a firefight from an hour-old wound you didn't know you'd taken.

Then again, the hilarity alone would probably give your squadmates a serious morale boost.

>> No.13043173

>>13043143

The God-Emperor

>> No.13043175

I just tore a page out of the Infantryman's Uplifting Primer.

>> No.13043179

I touched my dinner with my penis.

>> No.13043190

I farted on my 14 year old sister and told her she was fat.
No idea who that pleases, but it pleases me.

>> No.13043191
File: 17 KB, 504x350, 1291466635108.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13043191

>this entire thread

>> No.13043193

>>13043109
It's result of accident in late teens. Turned out rather good, considering I could have ended up paralysed. My childhood was more or less normal.
You are right with the last part, I just wouldn't use word "maim" and it doesn't happen that often, really.

>> No.13043205

Enjoy some pudding.

Excessively.

>> No.13043208

>>13043193

IT R RESOLT OV AXIDUNT.

>> No.13043215

I sit here and plot the inevitable demise of the human race and use telepathic messages to convince at least 12 people reading this to become my slaves and spread my control until it has consumed entire planets.

Tzeentch is pleased but should be concerned about my plot to overthrow him as Chaos God of Change.

>> No.13043228
File: 309 KB, 529x529, commisar.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13043228

>>13043175

>> No.13043229

FUCK YOUR SHIT.

I SPENT THE LAST TWENTY FOUR HOURS PLEASING NURGLE. I AIN'T GOTTA DO NOTHIN'.

>> No.13043246

>>13043229
STOP BEING ME!

>> No.13043261

>>13043246
>>13043229
samefag fail. Stately Buff-Cookie I am disappointed

>> No.13043272
File: 44 KB, 300x516, Hard_Slaanesh_by_Mr_Culexus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13043272

I was watching the episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer on Netflix IW where Xander has Amy do the love potion, and all the girls want him. That episode is amazingly fapworthy. I've already fapped twice to it (Buffy doing a striptease?! Willow, wearing nothing but a shirt, talking to Xander about how she wants him to take her virginity?!) and I have recently inhaled the resulting vapors of combusted cannabis. That has to earn me some favor with the Dark Prince of Pleasure.

>> No.13043276

>>13043143
>hitted my gf, wich god does that please?
It's "hit", not "hitted", even for past tense.

>> No.13043285
File: 23 KB, 315x332, Found an issue there 2.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13043285

>>13043276
>Insult grammar but ignore "wich"

>> No.13043296

I DRINK YOUR MILK SHAKE

>> No.13043303

enjoy my hobbies to excess, like i have been instead of studying.

>> No.13043309

>>13043261
But.. but.. that wasn't me.. wait.. was it.

I don't think I can remember everything right now. Time to sup on some soda made with REAL SUGAR to replenish my brain energies. Fuck this shit.

Fuckin' Nurgle.

>> No.13043311

Absolutely nothing. Like I have been for a long while.

>> No.13043312

>>13043285
You forgot to mention the capital "H".

>> No.13043313

>>13043261
Remember: Everyone is Fuuka.

>> No.13043314

I've been NEET for over a year now and all I've done with that time is stuff my face with food and do the occasional random whatever that catches my interest.

Nurgle is strong with me.

>> No.13043320
File: 26 KB, 368x600, rxnharblbarbldoodsweila.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13043320

>>13042924
I shit my pants. Like, really hard.
So hard that Slaanesh would declare its hugeness and shape "the perfect poo."
So hard that Nurgle praises its disease-causing abilities.
So hard that Tzeench declares that it is a horror that even Chaos couldn't hope to recreate and finds it novel and interesting
So hard that Khorne sort of looks on first in disgust at it, then incredulously at his other god-brethren, before joining in half-heartedly to not be the odd man out

They raise me to demon prince of a huge portion of the Warp without a second thought.

It took just ten seconds to do.

>> No.13043321

dicks everywhere

>> No.13043327

I threw out my drunken fathers booze, so he cannot drink.

I drugged my mothers coffee, so she cannot stay awake and scheme.

I interrupt my brother every so often, so he cannot masturbate.

I am forcing my brother to clean his room, so it will not be filthy.

Malal is pleased.

>> No.13043330
File: 120 KB, 463x700, RIDER KICK.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13043330

>>13043313
NO! There can be only one.

HAVE AT YOU. RIHDUL KICKU.

>> No.13043355

I ignore them completely thus securing my allegiance.

>> No.13043358

>>13043208
dunno if the guy you're mocking really does have the disorder or not, but my grandmother has no feeling in most of her torso after a fuck-all-huge tumor had to be removed, which meant cutting a lot of nerves. She could use her arms and had all her fine motor coordination, she just literally couldn't feel anything in the affected areas. So actually, "accidental causes" probably would be the most common way to achieve such a state.

>> No.13043365
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13043365

I lit up, and stubbed it out on my hand just to feel what it felt like. Felt good, so I did it again. Now I'm sitting here smokan and postan.

>> No.13043368
File: 54 KB, 800x758, 61126_md-Chaos, Chaos Space Marines, Nurgle, Sorcerer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13043368

>>13043314

NEET for almost 7 years. Nurghoul has saw fit to gift me with Diabetes. Thank you Nurghoul, for these bountiful gifts.

>> No.13043420

>>13043368
Diabetes eh?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DmE-8c2ysnw

>> No.13043423

Coyly dedicated my nose bleed to Khorne.

KHORNE CARES NOT FROM WHENCE THE BLOOD FLOWS

>> No.13043446

I am aroused by my loose asshole, and entertain thoughts of putting sharp things in it.

>> No.13043480

>>13043423
Tell that to my hemorrhoids.

>> No.13043540

I'd move three feet to my right and mack with my very sick girlfriend. Father Nurgle's will be done.

>> No.13044174

*right click -> make desktop wallpaper*

all praise to chaos!

>> No.13044197

Stab my room mate with my fuck huge scissors!

JUST AS PLANNED/BLOOD FOR THE BLOOD GOD

>> No.13044215

Don't do a goddamn thing...

Just as planned.

>> No.13044242

I smite the cultists with my bolter.

FOR THE EMPRAH!

>> No.13044286

>create folder
>name folder "Emperor"
>delete folder
>empty recycle bin
Chaos conquers all.

>> No.13044363

I link you all to this, ensuring you are all enmeshed into the densely plotted web and much productivity is lost, much fetish fuel is found, and much raeg is discovered, thus pleasing all...just as planned.

>> No.13044403

I just finished my soda even though I wasn't thirsty and it hurt my throat.

PRAISE SLAANESH.

>> No.13044435
File: 40 KB, 576x720, malalette_by_neuroticfanboy-d349059.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13044435

Malal loves me for hating him.

>> No.13044609

>>13044435
Praise the Outcast God!

>> No.13044712

I just had a plate of bacon at 3 AM in the morning.

>> No.13044777

i am on 4chan slaanesh is already pleased. ill roll for gift or mutations later

>> No.13044860

>>13044435
For nothing!

>>influence newbody

>> No.13045003

>>13044860
Yes Malal the greatest Chaos God!

>> No.13045439

I begin fapping furiously to Cultist-Chan. Hwee jyerk eet fyoor Kay-oooss

>> No.13046077
File: 128 KB, 580x775, 1286936820498.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13046077

>>13045439

>> No.13046098
File: 103 KB, 283x244, HERE COMES THE NIGHT TRAIN.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13046098

GET PISSES OFF AT A VIDEO GAME
MURDER ROOMMATE

>> No.13046102

I just punched myself in the face as hard as I could and now I'm angry about it.

Because Khorne needed to have some representation in this thread

>> No.13046220
File: 32 KB, 500x500, 1288915095692.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
13046220

I WILL BETRAY MY FRIENDS!

>> No.13046254

Consume usual mix of tea, blood thinners and dopemine derviatives. Mixed with sugar. Whilst listening to techno and browsing tg on my computer and playing tohou on my laptop.

SLANESH! GET ME A GIRLFRIEND DAMN IT!

>> No.13046262

I picked off a scab.
There you go Khorne. Now my foot's bleeding again.

>> No.13046293

>>13046098

STOP STEALING MY LINES, YOU SLAANESH'S DICK SUCKING FAGGET!

>piesmerc and

Captcha wishes to belong to Nurgle.

>> No.13046315

Punch to the balls

PRAISE SLAANESH!

>> No.13046323

offer my dead dog's ashes to khorne so she may become a bloodhound for great justice
whilist sacraficing the souls of a dozen raccoons and maybe that asshole of a neighbour

>> No.13046334

I tried getting worked up about Geek Squad fucking me over for the last five weeks, but I'm just not feeling it now.

And yet, I'm kinda pissed off at myself. Khorne has won.

>> No.13046436

Slit my girlfriend's throat while telling her how much I care about her (tzeentch-khorne). Rape her dead corpse with my AIDs and crabs infested dick (slaanesh, nurgle).

Say a couple words from the Book of Lorgar, and presto, instant undivided favor.

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