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[ERROR] No.12729436 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Alright, I've had enough of this crap.

I can't lead a single battle anymore without some guy making a "ABADDON IS TEH FAIL HURP DURP" comment. I've fucking sick of this "Failbaddon" and "Abaddon the Incompetent" bullshit and it's time I clarified some things.

First of all, I' am NOT incompetent. If I was truly incompetent, then I wouldn't have been able to rally the forces of Chaos 13 times, now would I?

It's not my fault that the Black Crusades keep fucking up, it's the fault of the other champions. Sure, I can rally the traitor legions together but as soon as I give them orders they tell me to fuck off and run around doing their own things.

I remember during the 13th I told Ahriman to launch a precise attack on Cadia which would eliminate a quarter of their defenses and leave the planet. The bastard flipped me off and ran off the steal from books from the Black Library. Fucker.

Now, I know that I should be able to take one mere planet if I have all the forces of Chaos united, no matter how arrogant and incompetent my forces are. But then you remember I'm fighting Creed. I mean, how the fuck am I suppose to win a war against a guy who can hide Baneblades behind A FUCKING PEBBLE?!

You cannot deny that I am individually awesome. Seriously, I'm the greatest of all Chaos champions, I have a sword that kills instantly, a weapon wielded by Horus himself, a ship that blows up planets, the remaining Blackstone fortresses, and I can unite the forces of Chaos whenever I feel like it...and you guys think I'm fucking incompetent?!

>> No.12729444

Creed here: Failbaddon is a butthurt faggot.

>> No.12729466

>>12729436
Yes

>> No.12729474

They only come under your banner to make you feel popular, Abby.
Of course that doesn't mean they're going to listen to actual orders.

>> No.12729501

...when did you get your arms back?

>> No.12729514

>>12729501

YEAH, WHEN -DID- YOU GET YOUR ARMS BACK, FAILBADDON?

>> No.12729536

>>12729514

Kharn finally returned them.

>> No.12729548

YOU TALK TOO MUCH, IS IT TIME FOR KILLING, MAIMING AND BURNING YET?

>> No.12729556

>>12729536

>I'M THE GREATEST OF THE CHAOS CHAMPIONS.

>I HAD TO WAIT FOR KHARN TO FEEL NICE ENOUGH TO GIVE MY ARMS BACK.

HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA.

>> No.12729562

>> I've fucking sick of this "Failbaddon" and "Abaddon the Incompetent" bullshit...
>>I've fucking sick of this "Failbaddon"
>>I've fucking sick

Hmmm.

>> No.12729584

One cannot deny that Abaddon is an inspiring fleet commander. Decepticon Military Academy would be proud.

>> No.12729585

Be grateful that my ass is stuck in this damn palace.....

>> No.12729597

Hey Abaddon,

Every single IC from the loyalist marines called. They say your shit.

Thanks.

>> No.12729607

>>12729597

>your

>> No.12729622

>If I was truly incompetent, then I wouldn't have been able to rally the forces of Chaos 13 times, now would I?

To be fair, that isn't hard. Just point at a random planet and say that there's blood and a good fight/plenty of uninfected people to infect/sneaky schemes to enact/whores and cocaine/a quick way to piss off the Emperor/people who aren't worshipping Chaos there and they'll jump on a chance to attack the planet.

>> No.12729629

>>12729607

PEOPLE. READ THIS.

>> No.12729631

>>12729597They say your shit.

>> No.12729678

Most Chaos Space Marines are insane, so of course they would follow a massive failure such as you Failbaddon, because one would have to be completely fucking nuts to follow you anywhere, let alone into battle.

>> No.12729681

Oh, how mature Abaddon. Blame me for trying to become a God and don't even mention the other champion. Are you still pissed at all those nicknames I made for you?

>> No.12729685

>>12729629

Actually, apostrophes are also used for possessives too, so it would be "The AP stylebook would shit it's pants if it had to read the drivel you write.".

>> No.12729707

>>12729629
RIGHTEOUS! Also, saved.

>> No.12729710

>>12729685
Not for "its"

it's = it is. ONLY it is. A possessive it is still its.

>> No.12729714

>>12729629

>> No.12729715

>>12729685
I was angry at this post, but then I laughed at it.

>> No.12729726

>>12729685
I AM HATING YOU TO DEATH.

>> No.12729740

>>12729681

Oh, it's not just you, cuntbag. The other champions are a pain in the ass too.

Kharn, although a great guy, gets so carried away with the killing he can't understand a thing I tell him, I can't get within half a kilometer of Typhus without puking, and Lucius only raids on settlement in every battle and spends the rest of the time raping the prisoners.

And Eliphas. God, I fucking hate Eliphas. I only hired him because you guys keeps telling me how he was so badass and charismatic. Turns out he's the biggest failure of a Dark Apostle ever. This guy had some of the best soldiers and daemons available and lost not once, but TWICE to the Blood Ravens, a minor Spess Mehren chapter nobody even gives a shit about. Also, he killed Araghast, one of my best Chaos Lords. That guy was fucking awesome and Eliphas killed him for no reason at all! I'm glad I ripped up that prick's face.

>> No.12729742

He MAD....

>> No.12729752

>>12729714

>> No.12729769

>> No.12729771

>>12729710

... I'm going to kill my English teachers, they always said that the possessive "its" had an apostrophe! Fucking British school system...

>> No.12729790

>>12729771
Holy shit. What?

>> No.12729832

>>12729710
Possessive apostrophe's exist but not for many pronouns, including "it".

>> No.12729844

>>12729742
I lol'd

>> No.12729851

Abaddon: Fails so hard, he can't even get a thread he started about himself to actually stay on the topic of himself.

>> No.12729857

>>Abaddon

More like Abandon

>> No.12729875

>>12729740
BY THE BRASS BALLS OF KHORNE, YOU TALK AND WHINE MORE THAN EMO-PRIMARCH LORGAR. SEEMS LIKE ALL YOU DO IS COMPLAIN ABOUT YOUR MINIONS, BUT WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME I SAW YOU ON THE BATTLEFIELD YOURSELF?

NOW STOP YOUR BITCHING AND POINT ME TO SOMETHING VAGUELY HOSTILE BEFORE I START KILLING YOUR BODYGUARDS.

>> No.12729881

>>12729742

Angron the Angry Angronaut

>> No.12729882

>>12729851
Aaaaand we're back.

So how bout them Cadians?

>> No.12729894

Abaddon's chance to get a single hit through Vect's shadowfield when charging him = 44%.
Abaddon's chance to get a single hit through Vect's shadowfield when getting charged = 40%.

Vect takes on average two rounds of CC (although just like Abaddon can squash Vect with luck Vect can kill him before he even strikes) to kill him and hits first so Abaddon gets just that one round to kill Vect.

Abaddon the Despoiler, who has held the mark of Chaos Ascendant and the position of Warmaster for 10 000 years is therefore struggling to deal with a T3 elf 35 points cheaper than him. Ultramarines we can understand but this...

>> No.12729899

In my nerd fantasy where I run GW fixing Abaddon and getting him out of his pussy cartoon villain funk is one of my top priorities.

Believe it or not I would do this by having the other legions say "hey fuck you Abaddon you've been our leader for 10,000 years, tried 13 times to sack Cadia and still can't do it. You suck and we're gonna follow someone else instead" and then kicking him out on his ass.

Abaddon and a small cadre of loyal Black Legion would then be forced out into realspace and Abaddon would be so goddamn angry about it that he'd rape and plunder his way across the entire quadrant.

What he needs is a good kick in the ass to get him motivated again. He's spent ten millenia doing the same old shit. That's gotta wear a guy down.

>> No.12729931

rolled 34 = 34

>>12729771

Please. The way I was taught to spell in elementary school was "spell it how it sounds."

Sentapeed.

I fucking spelled CENTIPEDE that way for fucking years. I taught myself how to spell because of how fucked up my learnings were.

Confusing its and it's is nothing.

>> No.12729940

>>12729894
Abaddon is basically a child compared to Vect. Vect is like twice his age.

So this actually makes sense by 40k logic since older = more badass

>> No.12729949

So, they actually gave EW to Abandon now?

>> No.12729964

>>12729894
>Ultramarines we can understand but this...
Actually, no.
I do not understand.

All I see is a continous circle of 'newest Codex has to be best' retardedness.

>> No.12729972

>>12729940

and that's why Tau are shit

>> No.12729980

Why the Chaos gods don't use Doombreed I'll never understand....

>> No.12729982

>>12729899
I always liked the idea of Abbadon doing some sort of massive damage to the imperium but the big decisive battle the imperium wins and kills Abbadon.

Bonus points if it's Creed pulling an excellent "just as planned" while sacrificing himself.

>> No.12730006

>>12729949

His previous incarnation was not immune to ID from force weapons but couldn't be instakilled by S8+ hits.

He was also 20 points cheaper and had cooler Drach'nyen.

>> No.12730009

This entire thread has been just enough cover for Creed to sneak in a Baneblade. Thanks /tg/!


'Creeeeeeeeeeeeeeeed!'

>> No.12730014

>>12729629
Saying this out loud, screaming and shit at your computer is amazing.

>homairer thodox
IT'S ORTHODOX, YOU GODDAMN FUCKING RETARD

>> No.12730022

>>12729769
The "i.e." here should be "e.g."
Fucking fuck. That's worse than the random "s".

>> No.12730049

>>12729436
Eldar player here.


Do you think this is bad?

Try getting called a faggot at the start of every match.

>> No.12730050

>>12729982
>>12729982

Kinda thought the same thing. Always wished GW would allow something to happen. Maybe at the end of the Hours Heresy Books they might allow something to happen

>> No.12730064

>>12730049

Well aren't you a Fag?

>> No.12730082

>>12730049

Well they are....

>> No.12730083

>>12729875

Hey Ragin-Self. How ya doing?

>> No.12730116

All I hear is WAAAAH EVERYONE SUCKS BUT MEEEEEE

maybe you should get some glasses so you can see the baneblades coming to kick your incompetent heretical ass.

>> No.12730124

The Sanguinor will kill Abaddon too, if he uses the "reroll all failed hit and wound rolls against target IC for the entirety of the game" ability on Abaddon at the start.

>> No.12730147

>>12730124

And even though the Sanguinor and Sanguinary Guard have blood-nipples in their armor, you can still run a BA army without being called a fag, unlike space elves.

>> No.12730155

>>12729982

So now a Skulltaker can't chop his head? :(

>> No.12730158

>>12729899
>getting him out of his pussy cartoon villain funk is one of my top priorities.

Screw that, go the other way and make him a completely over the top cartoon villain. Have the pressure of leading Chaos and the weight of his repeated defeats cause him to snap and go off the deep end, and then off the deep end of the deep end. Then, in his madness, he realises the entire universe, the Imperium, the Warp, even life and death are one giant joke, and he's the punchline. He then embraces the role he's been given of the grand villain of the galaxy with relish, playing it in the most over the top, moustache twirling, clich├ęd manner possible, becoming a giant parody of villainy, but being effective because of his awareness that he is a giant parody. (If GW's legal department could get away with it, have the first thing he says after making this discovery be "AHHHH! After 10,000 years I'm free! It's time to conquer Terra!") He would essentially become a hilariously effective villain in a deadly serious universe.

>> No.12730174

>>12730158
Who'd be his Starscream?

>> No.12730180

>>12730174

Eliphas, duh.

>> No.12730204

This whole thread

>implying that the goal of any Black Crusade has been taking Terra

>> No.12730207

>>12730180
>>12730174

Ah but who would be his Optimus Prime? Creed?

>> No.12730225

Big Bads of 40k who appear in codices:

Abaddon
Vect
Ghazghkull
Swarmlord
Nightbringer&Deceiver

There should be a villainous style for each.

>> No.12730231

>>12730207
I think there's one ultra choice among the marines. He'd close the chapter on Abaddon like a master.

>> No.12730246

>>12730231
Pedro Kantor?

>> No.12730256

>>12730246
...

Sure, why not.

>> No.12730263

"Calgar!"

"One shall stand, one shall fall."

"Why throw away your life so recklessly?"

"That's a question you should ask yourself, Abaddon."

"NO! I'll crush you with my bare hands!"


Kup and Hot Rod/Rodimus Prime = Cassius and Sicarius.

>> No.12730275

>>12730263
And Goldbug?

>> No.12730292

>>12730263

Calgar is more like Ultron Magnus or Hotrod than fucking Prime

>> No.12730307

>>12730225
Oddly, each on of those guys has their own rival:

Creed
Eldrad
Commissar Yarrick
Marneus Calgar
Khaine&Cegorach

>> No.12730331

>>12730292

Invictus would be Ultra Magnus, but the nids ate him.

>> No.12730359

CIAPHAS CAIN WOULD BE RATTRAP.

YOU FUCKING KNOW IT TO BE TRUE.

>> No.12730436

Failbaddon SUCKS!

...that is all.

>> No.12730532

>>12729629

It's missing one line.

HERE'S ANOTHER ONE, COCKBAGS. LOSE AND LOOSE.

LOSE IS A VERB MEANING TO STOP HAVING

LOOSE IS AN ADJECTIVE DESCRIBING YOUR MOTHERS CUNT

YOU ARE A LOSER, AND WILL ONLY LOSE YOUR VIRGINITY TO A LOOSER WHORE THAN YOUR MOTHER.

YOU'RE ONLY USING LOOSE AS A VERB IF YOU'RE UNTYING YOUR GODDAMN DOG.

YOU ARE A LOSER

>> No.12730564

>>12730532
I think you mean 'Looser'. Durr.

>> No.12730956

This thread needs moar Orks.

>> No.12730965

>>12730956


This thread needs the presence of the great Primarch.

>> No.12731021

>>12730965
More like the shit Primarch.

>> No.12731058

>>12730956
ok
WAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAGH

>>
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