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[ERROR] No.12726310 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Everyone knows about how cats can kill commoners.

But how far can you take their lethality? How much can you minmax a common cat while still preserving it as a small, nonsapient animal?

>> No.12726330

>implying cats are not actively plotting your demise while using their cuteness to avoid suspicion.

>> No.12726338

Pic related?

>> No.12726351

Lich Cat

>> No.12726380


>> No.12726404

Let cats have Some kind of racial feat like trip and force the PC to take falling damage equal to the cats level

>> No.12726443

simple; domesticate them. Make them friendly

>Cat looks like it wants to play!
>"I scratch behind it's ears"
>The cat playfully swipes at you


>Cat looks like it wants to play!
>"no way am I falling for that again. I head the other way"
>the cat chases after you

>> No.12726459

Simple. They just need a few levels in rogue.

>> No.12726460

Cat + flaw feat + psionic abilities.

Cat throwing psychic knives for 1d4+ dmg.

>> No.12726461

We had this thread a while ago. Some shenanigans about giving it some incarnum based feat and hooplah that turned it into a levitating, eye-beam shooting monster that was still by RAW a CR 1/4.

>> No.12726494

Or paladin.

>> No.12726495


Consider this an exercise to minimise the tell-tale 'don't fuck with this cat' signs like levitation and eye beams.

>> No.12726506


blackguard cat

>> No.12726528


>> No.12726537

cats already rule the world. Have you every seen a cat that fed a human? no? case solved

Also they have an encrypted communication method with lolcat posters.

>> No.12726547

I need a Fist of the North Star Cat.

>> No.12726552

Remember to put lots of ranks in intimidate for hilarity.

>> No.12726564

Is Dio Brandocat enough?

>> No.12726576

Yeah, I live right next to chinatown.

>> No.12726583

I have no idea what that is, but this cat is pretty badass...

>> No.12726586


Archived thread for perusal

>> No.12726643

From the thread

>A housecat with two flaws can have three Shape Soulmeld feats, which can be spent on Ankheg Breastplate, Airstep Sandals, and Dissolving Spittle. So the housecat will be a flying armored housecat that can spit acid from its mouth at will. Granted, the armor gives only a +2 armor bonus, the cat can fly only 10 feet (with good maneuverability) as a move action, and the spit only does 1d6 acid damage upon a successful ranged touch attack...

Mother of God...

>> No.12726730


>> No.12726779

Personally my bet is on the cat. The cat is a natural predator and given its ability to fly it can attack from angles the SS just ISN'T going to be able to deal with. Also look at this high speed footage of that acid spit! With the simple investment of a single point of essentia the amount of damage a cat can deal from afar is going outclass ANYTHING the SS can bring to bear in the same amount of time.

>> No.12726893

>Now, take the spell Awaken. Gives an animal 3d6 INT and +1d3 CHA. Take the metamagics Empower and Maximize. Applying them both, you get a cat with 27 intelligence and +5 Charisma. Can somebody say "Spellcaster"? Hes starting our campaign at level ten, so I've been able to boost said intelligence to 32. Let me repeat this. At level 1 I had a character with 27 intelligence, and at level 10 I have one with 32. Turns out optimization of stupid things can lead to crazy-ass broken characters.


>> No.12726930 [DELETED] 

Oh boy. The porkeye fag on those old threads... I'd forgotten all about him.

Even funnier is that he's propably still around, and exceedingly easy to summon.

>> No.12726961

Welp, everything according to the rules.

>> No.12727118

A cat wizard would have problems since they need to lug around that spellbook. And write in it.

Psionic cats however...

>> No.12727152 [DELETED] 

The what?

>> No.12728145

a level 20 dragonfire inspiration bard can grant a kitty a +12d6 per attack (total of claw/claw/bite/rake/rake for 60d6 sonic) to make it so inspired that it can do a one round kill on a pit fiend or such

>> No.12728261

Spell mastery feats. Lots and lots of spell mastery feats.

Also mage hand, unseen servant, and Tenser's floating disk, and those are just options available at 1st level. Not having hands is a trivial obstacle for a wizard.

>> No.12728308

I'm picturing this as a staff member at a retirement home explaining who one of the residents is to a scared and confused new-hire.

Can't stop laughing.

>> No.12728315

>posts deleted
Damn it. It was so good though.

>> No.12728375

hah! play a bard, have several pet cats, swarm enemies with cats.

>> No.12728722

How would you go about making a dragonblooded cat? Some of the soul-melds only available to dragons are pretty bad-ass.

>> No.12728955

well when a boy dragon falls in love with a girl cat......

>> No.12729095


It's times like these that make me think "Thank God dragons can polymorph, because if they couldn't there would be some serious size issues!".

Also, I am SO playing an awakened cat in my next campaign. Psionic too, I think.

>> No.12729178

Good for you anon, next game I'm playing an awakened cat as well, split between wizard or monk.

As a side note about dragons polymorphing, not all of them are as ....considerate... in one Piazo campaign the BBEG was a Black Dragon that couldnt/wouldnt stop interbreeding/rape.... had a cult of like minded evil aquatic creatures (forgot what they were called), they revered it as their living god and of their females that survived the mating process, none survived the birthing process

>> No.12729220

They can morph into humanoids. Not felines.

>> No.12729469


That still mitigates the problem somewhat. Also, don't catpeople count as humanoids?

>> No.12732617

cat penises are very small compared to humans. Even proportionally. It's really not possible for a human to have sex with a cat.

Catpeople are generally shown with genitals of humanoid sizes, and even shapes, making them basically irrelevant.

>> No.12732642

Why would you go monk? You would be using tiny size unarmed strikes; high dex doesn't make up for that. Itty bitty awakened animals should usually be casters, and you have to admit that kawaii kitty wizard pawing through his spellbook is far superior. Take a raven familiar and keep trying to eat it.

>> No.12732660

>Implying Kawaii Kitty Monk Unarmed Strikes wouldn't be awesome

>> No.12732692

....you talk like you've tried before...

>> No.12732783

Suffice to say, I know what I'm talking about.

>> No.12732790

Cat Druid
Turn into bigger cats

>> No.12734295

>> No.12734404

Cat Druid
Turn into human

>> No.12734431

I'd rather go with an Awakened Cat sorcerer, but I know that the spell stats don't really support that. It's a pity, the idea of a little kitty going around making magic happen through pure cat arrogance is amazing.

>> No.12734451

>> No.12734461

>> No.12734490

>> No.12734565

too bad about the nonsapient animal thing.

A maximized, empowered awakened cat has 18 + (3d6)/2 int. That's an average of like 28.

>> No.12734844

Okay, so we have our levitating eye-beam cat with 27 Int, and good charisma. precicely what classes can take advantage of this?

Of the top of my head-
Wu Jen
And probably a couple others I've missed.

Starting there, what are our min/max options?

>> No.12734968


For melee damage, take three levels of Swashbuckler for insightful strike and weapon finesse, and go Rogue from there. Take weapon focus, and possibly a level in Fighter for improved weapon focus to make doubly sure you hit. Maybe prestige into Kensei to get some neat stuff like electric vorpal claws.

Don't actually have the books on me atm to crunch the numbers, but long story short, you should end up with a cat that can deal around 30+ damage per sneak attack, with a chance of taking their head off instantly.

>> No.12734983

Give cats a way to win grapples. It's way too easy to pin them as it is.

>> No.12735017


Clever Wrestling (Preq. Improved Unarmed Strike)

Get +2 bonus to escape grapple/pin per size category greater than you your opponent is.

Close Quarters Fighting (Preq. +3 BAB)

Even if they have a feat that says otherwise, trying to grapple you provokes an AoO. If the attack deal damage, the grapple attempt fails.

>> No.12735110

Why must you be so bad at math? At most 18/2=9, not 10, which makes the highest Int a maximized empowered Awakening can grant an animal is 27. In no way does that make the "average" Int from such a spell 28.

Unless you're talking about the modified "level 10" Int. In which case, yeah, okay, never mind.

Also, a thing to note: An Empowered Maximized Awakening takes a level 10 spell slot, without feats to reduce the spell level cost of the meta feats. While I'm not aware of any such feats for druids, sure as hell doesn't mean they don't exist.

>> No.12735122

It's late, I'm tired, feel free to ignore the first two lines of my prior post, there. Please.

>> No.12735123


oh, fucked up my math. I just calculated the mean of 3d6 as 10.5 and rounded it and forgot to divide by two.

so it'll average to about 23, which is still fucking ridiculous for a level 1 wizard.

>> No.12735169

please help /tg/ after reading this i rearly want to take an awakened cat in the campaign im in, can some one please make a ECL 2 awakened cat druid for 3.5 for me, please please please

>> No.12735235


the cat being the wizard, not the guy casting awaken. God no.

>> No.12735243


Druid 2
Size/Type: Tiny Animal
Hit Dice:2d8+1d8
Initiative: +2
Speed: 30 ft. (6 squares)
Armor Class: 14 (+2 size, +2 Dex), touch 14, flat-footed 12
Base Attack/Grapple: +1/–11
Attack: Claw +5 melee (1d2–4)
Full Attack: 2 claws +5 melee (1d2–4) and bite +0 melee (1d3–4)
Space/Reach: 2-1/2 ft./0 ft.
Special Attacks: —
Special Qualities: Low-light vision, scent
Saves: Fort +5, Ref +4, Will +4
Abilities: Str 3, Dex 15, Con 10, Int 2+3d6, Wis 12, Cha 7+1d6
Skills: Balance +10, Climb +6, Hide +14 +16*, Jump +10, Listen +3, Move Silently +6 +8, Spot +3 (you have (4+int) *5 additional kill points to spend)
Feats: Stealthy, Weapon Finesse

Animal Companion, Nature Sense, Wild Empathy, Woodland Stride.

>> No.12735249

That's ECL 3 not 2.

>> No.12735258

I have been inspired to play as an awakened cat.

I wonder if I should attempt that gish that ends up with 'unlimited blade works'. Anywhere where I can get that by the way? I think it had something to do with warblade and about four other classes.

>> No.12735267

what would you take as an animal companion?

>> No.12735270

Take animal companion: another cat

>> No.12735275



>> No.12735286


Of the other gender, naturally.

>> No.12735290

tru dat.

>> No.12735302


Whenever a cat reaches like druid level 14, their cat master hands down their metamagic maximize rod so they can maximized empowered awaken their familiar, and the cycle continues.

It's cats all the way down.

>> No.12735319

I love you, /tg/.

>> No.12735358

and then you begin a chain reaction. Soon you have an army of awakened Cat druids. The collective conciousness drives the first into demigod status. You begin to work out how to deify yourself.

Awakened cat -> leader of the legion of awakened cats -> God of awakening.

Could be an epic roleplaying journey.

>> No.12735361

Level 9 would be enough since you don't really need empower or maximize because it boosts INT. Maximize alone would be enough.

>> No.12735370

Well the "Cat - A Little Game About Little Heroes" RPG has a wee section on cat magic...

Fall on All Fours (Variable)
Whenever scientists study how cats fall, they
always get very strange results. That’s because
cats are using magic to keep themselves safe
during the fall and some cats are just better at
magic than others.
Good: A cat with a Good Tail can fall twenty
feet and take no damage.
Strong: A cat with a Strong Tail can fall forty
feet and suffer no damage.
Best: A cat with a Best Tail can fall seventy
feet and suffer no damage.

Hide in Plain Sight (Variable)
Cats have an amazing ability to disappear
almost before your very eyes. Once a cat
disappears, he remains hidden as long as he
remains still.
Good: A cat with a Good Tail can disappear if
everyone in the room has their back turned to
Strong: A cat with a Strong Tail can disappear
if no-one is looking directly at him (i.e. he’s in
the corner of your eye).
Best: A cat with a Best Tail can disappear,
quite literally, “in the blink of an eye,” even if
you’re looking straight at him.

Sneak (Variable)
Cats are sneaky; they move very quietly
without drawing any attention to themselves.
Good: A cat with a Good Tail can move
through a darkened area (room, alleyway, etc.)
without being seen by anyone.
Strong: A cat with a Strong Tail can move
through a room full of people without being
Best: A cat with a Best Tail can pass over
sleeping people (and other creatures) without
disturbing them from their rest.

>> No.12735379

Doorslip (Good)
A cat must have a Strong Tail to perform the
Doorslip Trick. It allows a cat to slip by a
locked door. It requires a small sacrifice (a rat,
mouse or rabbit) to be placed before the door.
Once the Ritual is complete, the cat slips by
the door as if it were open.

The Dinner Dance Ritual (Good)
The Dinner Dance Ritual (some precocious
cats call this the “DDR”) is a favorite of toms
and requires little preparation. All you need do
is walk around a human three times and he’ll
grant a single request (bring me food, give me
shelter, etc.). The request must have
something to do with fulfilling a basic need.

Dream Bite (Good)
It’s hard to find humans in the Dream,
especially the ones who don’t pay attention. A
few bites (just two or three) mark a human
with your scent (clawing works as well),
making the human easy to find in the Dream.
Dream Bite also works on Boggins, making
them easy to find (and kill).

The Chase Your Tail Whammy (Best)
A not-very-nice Ritual that befuddles dogs. If
you can jump over a dog – head to tail – he
gets confused and starts chasing his tail. This
lasts for 1, 2 or 3 minutes (roll a 6-sided die
and divide the result).

Fighting Frenzy (Good)
When a cat needs it, he can enter a kind of
wild frenzy of claws and teeth. The price is
high, but sometimes, a cat needs it to survive.
By spending one Life, a cat may gain a
number of actions in a fight equal to his Tail
bonus. This means a cat with a Good Tail (3)
can take three actions during a round. He can
attack three opponents, attack an opponent
three times, or whatever else he needs to do.
This particular trick has a high price, however:
it costs the cat one of his Lives.

Naturally these spells make references to other aspects of the game like "Tail" being a magic use stat, and the dream walking abillity.

>> No.12735925

>> No.12736153

Oh boy. That awakened cat thing is going to cause untold damage to campaigns all around the globe, I suspect.

Also, I find it hilarious that the porkeye post got deleted.

>> No.12736163 [DELETED] 

This cat didn't roll her stats well enough.

>> No.12736166

How, or why, is a cat climbing a wall like that. There's nothing for it to hold on to.

>> No.12736235

It's a stucco wall. Extremely rough edges, enough for cat claws to dig into.

>> No.12736242


>> No.12736243

That answers the how. But the why? Why is that cat climbing a wall like that? What does the cat have to gain?

>> No.12736254


Fucking niggers

>> No.12736264



Not cool.

>> No.12736265

Goddamn there is nothing I hate more than retards abusing animals for their own pathetic enjoyment.

I'm not an internet tough guy, I would likely get my ass beat but I would still give that stupid nigger a piece of my mind.

>> No.12736271

... just another day in Malmö.

>> No.12736272

This is why you niggers are still poor and inferior

>> No.12736283

Excellent place for an ambush.

>> No.12736313

>implying white people don't abuse animals
Because, you know, they do.

>> No.12736320


I'm fairly sure something spooked it pretty bad and that met the conditions of the cromwell initiative and gave it amazing climbing powers

>> No.12736325

Can someone do up a demilich cat? Are there even demilich templates?

>> No.12736335

Ok, now I have a reason to hate niggers.

>> No.12736347

The difference is the whities abusing cats are serial killers in the making, and frankly you folks have a lot of serial killers.

>> No.12736350

Tiny jeweled paw?

>> No.12736367


The difference is the blacks abusing cats are mass rapists in the making, and frankly you folks have a lot of mass rapists.

>> No.12736372


I disagree.

Did you see the whole thing? The cat not only survived, but aside from being understandably frightened it was virtually unscathed.

That's some superhuman CON and high DEX even by cat standards.

That is a badass fucking cat. I imagine even now it is plotting its revenge on that negro. And when it carries it out it will not be pretty.

Pic related; it's the cat.

>> No.12736381

Owners probably aren't home to let it in, so it's climbing up to the window to get in to where its food is. Random passerby snapped the photo because it was, "fuckin' awesonm as all hell."

>> No.12736385

Or then it just died of internal injuries after reaching a safe hiding spot.

>> No.12736583

This, regrettably. The force put into that kick guarantees several broken ribs at an absolute minimum. More likely a collapsed lung and serious internal injuries.

Fucking niggers.

>> No.12736601

fucking swiss people are the largest population to eat cats, more than the fucking gooks

although ive never seen a black chick fuck a horse/dog O_o

>> No.12736620

>although ive never seen a black chick fuck a horse/dog O_o

So...you have seen white chicks fucking horse and dogs?

>> No.12736632

Lack of imagination. Though I did see a black trap once, so perhaps its unfair to generalize like that.

>> No.12736635

welcome to 4chan

>> No.12736717

Yes I see it now, a veritable legion of awakened cats are being scribbled into existence, wizard cats, sorcerers cats, monk cats, psionic cats, more cats than your body has room for!

>> No.12736735


>more cats than your body has room for!
>body has room for


>> No.12736739

There will be so many cats!

400 CATS!!!

>> No.12736745



Damn. It's been that long huh?

>> No.12736756

gratuitous amounts of cats!

>> No.12736780

lol 2cat

>> No.12736793


You'll have so many kittens! 400 kittens! Give your kittens powerthirst and they'll climb abnormally fast. People will see them climbing and think they're squirrels. They'll race against actual squirrels, and it'll be a tie, and they'll be deported back to the forest!

>> No.12736799

They run as fast as KENYAN CATS, people will watch them running and think they KENYANS, no one runs as fast as KENYANS, except KENYANS and there will be a tie and they will be deported back to KENYA!

>> No.12736804

Oh. Dear god. Someone awakens a cat, cat goes on to learn magic and awakens another cat. Awakened cat spellcaster flood.

The end is night.

>> No.12736830


>> No.12736858

the easiest way to get around this would be a rod of maximize spell. it's a bit expensive, but would reduce this to a 7th level spell again.

>> No.12736917

Or Sudden Maximize + Sudden Extend + Awaken to simply let it be a fifth level spell. Casting time is 24 hour so once you are done casting you'll have those feats back.

>> No.12736936

>rod of maximize spell

As opposed to a spell of maximize rod, which is wizardly viagra.

>> No.12736939

I'm surprised this hasn't been posted yet...

>> No.12736951

2 cat?

>> No.12737009

I loed so hard

>> No.12737013

>> No.12737058

Redbull may give you wings but powerthirst gives you caaaaaats, cats all over your body, cats cats cats, YOURE THE CAT MAN!

>> No.12738448

How druid cats roll.

>> No.12738542

You jut know the cat is the asshole who backstabs the party and becomes the right hand cat of the main villain.

>> No.12738577

His cats-paw, you might say?

>> No.12740368

Cats know when they are not wanted.

That's exactly why they are there.

>> No.12740418

This thread is the cutest thread on /tg/.

>> No.12742711

bump for catkind

>> No.12744629


Damn, that makes me miss touhoufag

>> No.12744642

He's not totally gone, he's just not on much anymore.

I miss his WoD contributions a lot too.

>> No.12744983

in 3.5, elven cats can cast magic missile.

I wish I was joking, fuck

>> No.12745862


>> No.12745920

Could somebody post a 3.5 build for an ECL 10 awakened cat psion? (Psion is preferred, but a wizard is fine too.) Ideally it would be akin to the levitating beam shooting cat. I would make it myself, but I have no experience in creating a powerful psion. Let alone a cat psion. I want to throw it at my party as a little surprise before my college goes on break for Thanksgiving weekend. A group of broken peasants with his psionic pet cat should prove to be a fun encounter. I would have them at a higher level, as the party (6+1 pet tiger) is level ten on average, but I broke the peasants enough to balance it. Feel free to make the cat a little higher leveled if something awesome can be done. I can always weaken the peasants. Basically the scenario is that the party tried to return to the material plane through a gate, but were instead brouht to some strange plane that looks like a lowly peasant village, but all of the people there act suspicious and mumble about some cat deity. Once the party rests, they will be awoken by the hostiles and have to fight their way back to the gate that for some reason stayed open. Currently the game stopped with the party shopping in the town.

>> No.12746661

>a wizard is fine too

>> No.12746686

>> No.12746709

>a wizard is fine too

>> No.12748644

Don't die yet, thread!

>> No.12749356

>> No.12749450

When a cat has the power to control metal nothing can stop it's fun.

>> No.12750062

Magic Missles!

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