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/tg/ - Traditional Games

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[ERROR] No.12679196 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

"O,you think the situation in which you met your traveling companions was weird and stretches the bounds of believability,please your case is nothing special let me show you my current group than you'll see that your case is really run of the mill"The man who for no adequately explained reason was listening in on your conversation is now pulling out a scroll from some inner pocket in his robe.
He unfurls the scroll on the table and you see that it had been used with a quickdraw spell to create a very lifelike painting of a human male,surrounded by several monsters all of them female actually,and for every female from the monster races there seems to be a corresponding halfbreed.
"See these are my fellow travelers..."You look more closely at the single boy in the picture and see that indeed that there is a strong resemblance to the young man standing at your table,although he now looks fully human, and you would bet your spellbook that he is related to the man in the old picture.
"And also they're my extended family"You look to your paladin comrade in arms as to remind him that it's his fault that you're here without having properly meditated and thus without much arcane might at your command.
"We all met in a tavern several weeks ago.."Your unwanted drinking companion seems at the exact level of drunkenness that he will talk the nigh away but wont go down in a hypothetical fight so easily.And then your adventuring colleague has to go and ask the drunkard a question:
"What I want to know is...

>> No.12679228

Format that shit, nigger.

Also yes we know bards will put their penises into anything.

>> No.12679285

"Well okay ignoring the whole paladin swearing thing,I'm pretty new to your human lands and your delicious beer but I don't think you're allowed that,I don't think you get what you're saying..."
" You know who isn't in this picture my half earth elemental sister, I don't want to be rude but you haven't seen her mom the obese earth elemental..Yes Dad basically made sweet love to a generic boulder"

>> No.12679296

How about female bards?

>> No.12679304

They will also put their penises into everything.

>> No.12679350

"Well my sister Anya,that's the werewolf one,was training to be the pack's lorekeeper,I think her skills are in the same vein as our father's but believe me have a bard as a runaway dad and you grow up with inherent relationship issues"
"And it's not the fur thing,she can control that easily most days and nights it's easier for her than for her mum so she's quite beautiful"
"That is speaking completely from an objective point of view as her ...brother"

>> No.12679359

Sure, they'll gladly get pounded by monster penises and hemipenes and aedeaguses and spermatophore-bearing pedipalps/tentacles/whatever else.

>> No.12679616

Writefag. Stop what you're doing and write this.

>> No.12679642

I think he stopped writing anyway. Also, what's there to write apart from fapfics catering to both xenophiles and impregnation fetishists?

>> No.12679721

Two bards attempting to seduce each other? Neither knows the other is a bard.

>> No.12679753

They just sort of bump into each other and in their attempts to disentangle themselves they somehow start fucking.

>> No.12679765

...Damned bards... Where's that Eternal Bucket of Ice Water I had that wizard make for me...

...damned Wizards...

>> No.12680009

What I really love about these is the obvious crush that elfgirl has on the bard. She's jealous of the attention that he gives to every female he comes across that isn't her.

>> No.12680021

Forgot mah pic

>> No.12680617

Is OP coming back?

>> No.12680637

Son, OP is gone...and he's not coming back. Ever.

He left us.

>> No.12680642


But, but...

I'm pregnant with his baby!

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