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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.12619614 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Samurai v. Knights. Who were better at raising their kids?

>> No.12619625

>> No.12619637

>>12619614
Neither?

>> No.12619638

Katana is a superior implement for child raising.

>> No.12619639

>> No.12619646

Knights. The problem with samurai:

Master Kamabushi: I have returned.
Mrs Kamabushi: Did you pick up Lil' Bushi from daycare?
Master Kamabushi: I regret to say I did not. Only seppuku can redeem me now!
Mrs Kamabushi: You know the rules, dear, no suicide on the carpet.

>> No.12619647

Man, its times like this when I wished I'd paid attention to the History Channel.

>> No.12619650

>>12619638
There is nothing about this post I can do to make it less retarded.

+1 internets to you.

>> No.12619651

>>12619639
Well, I'm confused. On the one hand he looks like he's not being looked after very well and maybe even a little retarded. On the other hand, he's having a totally rad time.

>> No.12619656

Samurai

knights were too busy killing sand people in jerusalem and crusading

>> No.12619658

Both were noblemen so they wouldnt be the one doing the raising

>> No.12619659

Didn't Samurai have a habit of destroying whole families when they fought each other?

>> No.12619668

>>12619646
>Implying knights never forgot to pick up their children from daycare
>Implying superior asian brain wouldn't remember more often than apelike caucasian knight brain

>> No.12619672

I think the knights were really onto something: they would send their sons off to serve other knights as pages and later squires so they wouldn't be around their mothers, who would spoil them.

Just look at today's kids - they're there because they're raised by women.

>> No.12619676

>>12619638

Dude, I don't think you know what the fuck you're talking about. Clearly the halberd is the ultimate in child-raising.

You've got a hook to drag the children back, you've got a spear tip to poke them to get them moving, and you've got an axe to chop off their gangrenous limbs.

Halberd is best, quid quo pro, man.

>> No.12619681

>>12619668
Yes, but when the knights forgot to pick up their children, the children didn't come home to a large pool of blood and a few entrails.

>> No.12619682

>>12619659
I think that was just Musashi being a complete and utter dick.

>> No.12619685

>>12619676
It's also a trip weapon that can be lowered against a charge.

>> No.12619693

>>12619676
You can't wake them up by reflecting the sunlight from your perfectly forged blade onto their futon though. The children of knights would be late for school like, all the time.

>> No.12619704

>>12619693
They just shine the sunlight off their white skin.

>> No.12619713

>>12619693
That's why you use horse to get them to school. Unless the trafic is horrible that day.

>> No.12619715

Samurai have superior PTA meetings. Many knights cannot even write, minutes of the PTA meetings go unrecorded leading to endless repetition.

>> No.12619724

Knights were raised on a hearty, manly diet of roasted boar, making them strong of body and mind. Samurai ate rice and grew to like, 4' 5.

Knight wins.

>> No.12619763

>>12619715

Europeans don't have any damned PTA meetings. If a knight has a problem with the way the school is running things they just go in and kill the teacher, set fire to the school to get rid of any demons that inhabited it because surely only a demon could cause a bad teacher, raid the nearest unaligned village for a suitable replacement teacher, and then build a new school out of mud, stone, thatch, and shit.

And I mean shit as in literal shit, not shit as in a word used to lump together related items.

>> No.12619766

>>12619724
Boar gores children before capture, which kid will you feed now Knight?

>> No.12619767

I can really only imagine that Knights would be bro-tier father figures when they weren't busy committing horrible atrocities on the battlefield in the name of their king/lord/whateverthefuck.

"Junior! I have brought BACON and HEATHEN-BREAD! Get the servants to start the fireplace, for tonight we dine in style while my enemies go hungry as corpses! Ha-HA!"

Further, I can think of nothing more intimidating to the local bully than a figure clad entirely in steel stomping in your direction while you're in the middle of punching in some punkass kid's face.

"UNHAND THE BOY, FOOL, OR I WILL TAKE THE HAND FROM YOU"

>> No.12619824

Samurai Son:

>Read and write poetry
>Memorize tomes written by ancient philosophers
>Practice combat arts and horsemanship
>Become devoted to bushido

Knight Son:

>Become literate and study ancient war texts
>Practice combat arts and horsemanship
>Serve as a page
>Serve as a squire
>Become devoted to chivalry

Viking Son:

>Rape
>Pillage
>Feast

>> No.12619831

>>12619763
Like they had public education anyway. Education for most people consisted of going to church, and having your parents hit you when you did something wrong.

Education existed for the upper classes, and involved a fairly similar amount of getting hit, but interspersed with opportunities to hit other children, learning to sing and dance, poetry, horseriding, and most importantly, social graces. Failure in any of these endeavors involved possible ear boxing. And don't think that princes and such didn't get hit. It was considered wrong not to punish children. And whoever was in charge of the kids got to hit them. (And don't smarm about faggotry and poems. It was all epics and heroic tales, like Beowulf, and Carolingian stories, or in England, Arthurian stuff.)

Samurai families were also really tough on kids, and made them do things to man up, and be respectful.

>> No.12619855

>>12619831
>Education for most people consisted of going to church

All church services were in Latin, which common people did not speak. All education the average person received was from their family, and related to the family business, which was usually farming.

Of course, peasants aren't the topic of discussion here.

>> No.12619864

>>12619824
>Viking Son
>Your dad is a sheep farmer
>Actually he is an incredibly famous warrior on the run
>Dad is killed
>You want to avenge his killer, are too weak
>Join killer's mercenary band
>Survive, become strong
>Killer is killed by someone else
>Mind breaks
>Get sold as a slave
>Farm shit and become totally devoid of all feeling

>> No.12619871

>>12619864

BE FREE OF YOUR TROUBLES BROTHER! AT DAWN WE SET SAIL FOR VINLAND!

>> No.12619876

>>12619831
>>12619767
>>12619824

dont forget chess and go

knights had to pass a chess exam too

>> No.12619883

>>12619638
>>12619676
>>12619685

>> No.12619886

>>12619824

Centuries down the line...

Samurai's Descendant:
>STUDY STUDY STUDY STUDY
>EXAM, GODDAMN
>Oh thank fuck, school year's over and I can FUCK, GOTTA STUDY FOR THE PRE-ENTRY EXAMS
>STUDY STUDY STUDY

Knight's Descendant:
>See pretty chick
>Follow instinct long since past, open door to the Starbucks for her
>Pretty chick is a radical feminist that's going to college for the enlightenment
>Gets called "chivalrous" in a scornful manner
>Looks it up
>Thinks he got called a D&D nerdling

Viking's Descendant:
>Have a chill day
>Someone spills soda on his shirt
>Entire day is ruined by his favorite shirt getting that guy's broken nose-bleed on it
>World seems to break easily in his hands, encourages him to do something that goes completely against his impulses, doesn't reward him for following the rules
>Manic-depressive tendencies

>> No.12619900

>>12619876

Didn't most knights win chess by killing their opponents?

I'm not questioning the effectiveness of the win, but I am wondering how often they had to get new teachers.

>> No.12619920

>>12619864

>> No.12619923

>Knight Father
That stereotypical PTSD father you see in television shows and movies. He kind beats on his kid for being too "girly," ...He drinks too much and then sits in sullen silence remembering the horrors of the crusade... When he's home everyone in the family is a little bit on edge.

>Samurai Father
That stereotypical over-achiever father. Constantly pushing his son to learn every type of musical instrument, master every form creative writing, memorise every city on the continent. Distant, cold, never proud of his sons efforts and completely devoid of love.

>> No.12619930

>>12619886
>Knight's Descendant:
Fuck, this happens to me all the time. Grew up in Texas under a traditional German family, go to college in New Hampshire, try to be polite, GET YELLED AT ALL THE TIME.

So I just went back to Texas. Our women may be psychotic, but at least they aren't bitches.

>> No.12619934

>>12619900
"Geoff, you fool! The stab-you-in-the-face-while-you're-moving-your-rook gambit only works if your opponent moves his LEFT rook!"

>> No.12619935

>>12619855
I know. I should have elaborated and said it was really the general atmosphere of religious sentiment, and being vaguely harangued by the village priest occasionally over matters he probably didn't really understand himself in any systematic way beyond what the locals felt anyway.

The whole element of strong religious sentiment should not be ignored though. Sure, a lot of it was apocryphal, but it was a big thing for everyone in medieval society. So I really should have included that in European noble education. Piety, Social graces, and your essential adult functions like killing things, or sewing, or possibly becoming a priest (only if you were kind of a wimp of course, or so insistently and annoyingly pious it was the only option.(The cultural stuff was partially cultural, and partially educational, really. A lot of the idea people had about what constituted what to emulate came from stories and poetry after all.)

>> No.12619953

>>12619923
So Hank Hill and Khan Souphanousinphone?

>> No.12619963

>>12619930
Coloradofag here. I hold the door for everyone, all the time, regardless of gender or attractiveness. Never been bitched at for it.

I actually go out of my way to open the door for my lady, and sometimes get kisses for it.

>> No.12619969

>>12619953
He works at Strichtlandt Crusade and Crusade Accessories.

>> No.12619976

>>12619963
I think it's a weird East Coast thing, to be honest. I have family in Colorado, visit there all the time, ya'll are pretty cool guys who don't afraid of anything.

>> No.12619987

>>12619886
Norwayfag here. Actual viking's descendant, can trace my lineage back to historical figures under the command of Norwegian kings.

I keep opening doors, holding out chairs and generally being unfailingly polite to women

WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME?!

>> No.12619995

>>12619987
Clearly your genes are defective.

>> No.12620000

>>12619987

not enough raping and pillaging by the sound of it

>> No.12620003

>>12619987
Dude, just go get a dragon. You'll be fine.

>> No.12620018

>>12619930
Mexican Califag here.

I has Viking heritage.

I hold the door for most people, always women. I have gotten bitched about it, but fuck it, as feminist as I am, i still have chivalry in mind, it's just how i was raised.

>> No.12620035

>>12620003
> "First you get the dragon, then you get the power, then you get the women."

>> No.12620037

>>12620003
Man, dragons are pretty slim on the ground nowadays. It's gonna be a huge chore finding one. :(

>> No.12620044

>>12620018
>I have gotten bitched about it

Honestly? I hold the door open for fucking everyone, and I have never once in my life come across anything like that.

>> No.12620045

SON TODAY WE'LL GO BURN SOME HERETIC

>> No.12620050

>>12619930

From Tennessee, myself.

I made a venture out of state to see what the world had to offer. By the time I'd hit California, my accent was pretty well worked off so people could understand me easier. None of the other habits had worked their way off yet, leading to the Knight's Descendant scenario happening a lot. I seem to recall one of my friends that lived there describing my face as "deer in the headlights" for the duration of my stay at his place.

Maybe Californian women can smell fear.

>> No.12620052

As much fun as I have in them, I really don't want to see this thread turn into a anti-feminist troll vs. internet white knight thread.

>> No.12620065

>>12620018
Chivalry's not dead
Just out of fashion

>> No.12620072

>>12620052
Too late, people got fixated on the mention of being rejected by women because they are so ronery.

>> No.12620077

>>12620044
a few times some harsh "thank you's" accompanied by glares, once this girl flipped and asked me if i thought she wasn't strong enough to open the door. I just smiled and said "no hablo ingles" and walked in.

most of the time, women don't mind.

>> No.12620086

>>12620065
Yeah. Apparently women PREFER to get treated like shit nowadays. I don't have the stomach for that, so I guess I'll be Forever Alone.

>> No.12620089

>>12620050
> Maybe Californian women can smell fear.
All women can smell fear.
The ones in California are just more used to it.

OT: Lived in Cali for several years before moving back to hometown (in the northeast).
Around here: Alot of 6-7's that think they're 10-11's.
Out there: Alot of 8-9's that think they're 5-6's.

In short: I miss California girls and super-dank weed.

>> No.12620092

>>12620045
Nah bro. Heresies were really big in late antiquity and at the very, very end of the middle ages.

Middle Ages is all about smashing the heathens. Or other Catholics, if they are making claims on your crown.

I mean, there's a few heretics and crusade against, but most of the time you'll just be sitting around waiting for someone to burn.

>> No.12620095

Just hold doors open for everyone. Be polite to anyone you meet, regardless.

It'll lower their guard.

>> No.12620096

>>12620052
Dude I am a die-hard feminist, but at the same time I can't help how I was raised. I still rage when women get hit by men, which is part of my chivalrous mannerisms.

>> No.12620106

>>12620086
Oh God. It's because you hold open the door and wait for them to go past but you don't do it for anyone else you stupid fuck.

>> No.12620110

>>12620072

I got fixated on it because I'm sort of confused why not being a dick is punished by otherwise attractive members of the opposite sex in some areas of the U.S.

The roneriness may or may not play a part in this.

>> No.12620119

>>12620052
>white knight

>> No.12620134

>>12620110
>attractive members of the opposite sex
Because you only do it for the pretty ones? That's not being chivalrous, that's being a sexist white knight fuck.

>> No.12620153

>>12620089

Self-esteem issues? Really? Christ, that's stupid.

I might not know much, but focusing on thinking they're ugly tends to do far more damage to people than actually being ugly.

>> No.12620156

I love you /tg/.

>> No.12620164

>>12620153
No no no, who gives a shit? The only thing about a woman that's important is how she looks.

>> No.12620169

>>12620156
Kitty!
:D

>> No.12620196

>>12620164

For you.

>> No.12620209

>>12620196
That was sarcasm.

>> No.12620223

>>12620110
Woman love badboys and abusive men. Chivalry depends on a natural, patriarchal system of society. With the breakdown of society under feminism, woman don't go for guys who aren't assholes. (unless they are rich, in which case they do, but cheat on them).

Bitchesandwhores.jpg

>> No.12620228

>>12620223
I like neither of these things.

>> No.12620241

>>12620209

Text doesn't convey it very well, and it was a fifty-fifty shot that you were trolling.

I have chosen poorly.

>> No.12620258

>>12619824
you forgot burn and maim

>> No.12620259

>>12620223

Man, you don't even know! Look at this picture, and use the knowledge only for good.

>> No.12620262

Regarding chivilrous behavior, it only counts if you maintain it at all times, even (especially) when you don't actually like the person, so it doesn't really seem like simpering servility, but rather instinctual altruism. Women dislike men who are conscious of their chivalry and do it specifically to gain favor, they like men who do it unwittingly because it's "in them." Shows that you're good at core, and have no guile. Guile is really unattractive.

>> No.12620275

>>12620262
Much wisdom, this anon has

>> No.12620279

>>12620262
>>12620275
Then it's settled. Back to the main issue.

>> No.12620284

>>12620262
Fuck. I'm like 70% guile, and 20% deceit. What do I do?

>> No.12620291

>>12620284
>70% Guile 20% Deceit
>Asks how to cover up his guile and deceit
Something doesn't quite add up here.

>> No.12620294

Guile has goofy ass hair.

>> No.12620298

>>12620262

I thought everyone liked Guile. What's happening to the world these days?

>> No.12620300

lets take this from a 40k perspective...space marines are based of knights, fire warriors are based off samurai

space marine>fire warrior

/thread

>> No.12620307

>>12620284
Not a problem, Johnny boy, if I recall, you're from somewhere east of Greece and South of Hungary, I.E., still in the dark ages. Just kill Muslims, and you'll get delicious Christian women.

>> No.12620313

>>12620228
You say that, maybe you even believe it, but one day you'll be out with friends at a bar just minding your own business when some bad-boy with his leather jacket and his haircut swaggers up to you, says something crass, smirks and runs a comb through his hair... You'll heat up, from anger or embarrassment you may initially think, but as he puts a hand on your waist and starts whispering into your ear all the dirty things he intends on doing to you you'll realise just where that heat is emanating from, and unable to resist your instincts, indeed your will and conscious efforts swept away in a haze of lust, you'll find yourself dropping your skirt and bending over - perhaps sparing a single thought for that nice boyfriend of yours currently working hard to buy you something nice - only for it to gutter like a candle in the night as he enters you from behind and you start to scream "more, more, more!"

That is your fate femanon. Learn to live with it.

>> No.12620330

>>12620291
The last 10% is insecurity.

>>12620307
I am humbled. You would make a good Serb.

On-topic, I vote for the Samurai, simply because they didn't do the whole "squire" thing, which involves letting your kid follow another guy into battle carrying his shit. While it might build character, it's the equivalent of starting your kid smoking so that at least he doesn't smoke menthol.
...which my father did, by the way.

>> No.12620344

>>12620330
Hey, Squiring was more like giving your stepson the keys to your Mustang when he's 14.
Like, yes, he might die, but goddamn, you won't have to listen to his banal questions, and you'll be able to fuck his mom while he's out.

>> No.12620346

>>12620330
You are forgetting that the young samurai is about 75% more likely to be sodomized, however.

>> No.12620355

>>12620313

I stared in horror at the text for a solid minute, with visions of the scene unfolding in my mind's eye, before I realized you were talking to the woman that posted in the thread.

Even then, I had to click the referring number to make sure it wasn't one of my posts.

>> No.12620361

>>12620313
No, I really don't. One of my guy friends has a drop-dead gorgeous magnificent-bastard for a friend who did exactly that to me on multiple occasions. He actually came up to me one day and say, "You know what, one day I'm going to sleep in your bed."

To which I said: "Fuck off, I have a boyfriend." This was after I got to know that he was a humongous asshole, and stopped kidding around with him when he was forward with me.

You know what that asshole did when he realized it was NEVER GOING TO HAPPEN? He literally SLEPT IN MY BED one night when I was away visiting my boyfriend. I knew, because when I went to put away my suitcase, I saw that my sheets were all fucked up and someone had turned down the comforter, which is not how I make my bed.

I asked about it, and he comes up to me and goes, "Told you I'd sleep in your bed."

Now, I will admit that early I was curious about him on a purely physical/sexual level just because he's an attractive guy, but I would have felt that way regardless of his personality. But when I even think for an instant about all of the girls he's had sex with, and the fact that (in all likelihood) he's probably infected with something, and that his behavior is absolutely appalling - it ruins it for me completely.

If I were just cruising for a good fuck at a bar, yeah, I'd take whatever was the most attractive and as far as I could guess had the biggest cock - but when it comes to relationships, absolutely not.

And since I don't have sex outside of relationships, well . . . there you go.

Women with self-esteem problems like people who treat them like trash. I prefer someone who doesn't treat me like a piece of meat, since I'm not a fucking 17 year old.

>> No.12620374

>>12620346
I'm having trouble believing you, but then, I'm a Catholic.
Ba-dum *tish*

>> No.12620377

>>12620361
Oh, guess I should qualify this. I roomed with two of my guy friends for a while. One of which was Mr. Magnificent Bastard's friend.

He got into my room because he was out bar hopping with my (guy) roommate and crashed for the night. At which point I guess he decided "Fuck this, I'm not sleeping in the couch, I'm sleeping in femanon's bed."

I changed the sheets and washed the blanket the instant I found out. He was very offended.

>> No.12620392

>>12619658
/thread

>> No.12620399

>>12620361
>>12620377
Sounds like a jackass. How is the sleeping in of somebody's bed the logical precursor to sexual relations?

>> No.12620400

>>12620392
>>12619658
Both are clearly effete degenerates.

>> No.12620405

>>12620400
Don't be preposterous Cato, neither of them are Greek.

>> No.12620407

>>12620361
>>12620377

I hate to rain on this, man, but I think you took it kind of personally. Chances are, he was just a goofball that didn't really know how to deal with being an adult and tried handling things the best way he knew how, i.e. like a harmless goofball in high school. When you didn't react the way he expected, he probably got hurt and dealt with it badly, hence the awkward forwardness.

Then again, I wasn't there and I didn't see it all happening, so I can't really say you're wrong in your assessment of the situation. Take it for what it's worth, I guess.

>> No.12620408

>>12620065
Chivalry is not dead, just too hungover to care

>> No.12620424

>>12620399
He is a jackass. That's the whole point. Guys who are assholes aren't appealing. They're fucking infuriating.

The first time the "sleep in your bed" comment was made, it was an innuendo, as in "I'll break you down and we're going to fuck, you know you want this."

The second time was just him being bizarre and controlling by doing something "cute" to me he knew for a fact that a) I didn't want him to do and b) I couldn't do anything about.

>> No.12620432

>>12620110
How'd I do?

>> No.12620448

>>12620407
Ohhohohoho, no. Not at all. He is absolutely not being a "goofball." And the forwardness isn't awkward, it was very suave. Panty-melting sultry.

This guy is monstrously sexy, you don't understand. But he's also a massive, humongous jerk.

He's really not used to having girls tell him no.

>> No.12620469

>>12620448

>Monstrously sexy
>Panty-melting sultry
>Implying you don't want to sleep with him.

One of these is not like the other...

>> No.12620493

>>12620448

I guess I just don't understand self-absorption on that kind of level. Probably because my libido's shot from medication or something.

>>12620469

I'm sure that there's nothing wrong with this guy that can't be fixed by a complete and total change of his personality.

>> No.12620495

>>12620469
I already admitted that. Excluding the fact that I'm in a serious relationship and would never cheat - his fucking attitude completely precludes that.

I'm a girl. I actually have to like the person I'm having sex with, or else I don't enjoy myself and don't come. Having sex with Magnificent Bastard would be a complete waste of time.

He'd probably just keep humping on me until I was sore and bored, and then I'd have to fake it and congratulate him just to get him off of me. At that point, I'd just have to kill myself out of disgust.

>> No.12620498

>>12620448
>He's really not used to having girls tell him no.
Maybe that's because most girls like massive jerks?

>> No.12620500

Knights sent their kids off to boarding school.

Samurai have shitty inter-family relationships.

>> No.12620504

I have settled for a good median on the door opening agenda. Rather than actually holding the door open, and waiting for the other person to grab it, or pass through, I just nudge it open so they have sufficient time to do so. The feminists hate that slightly less.

But then, I dunno, I'm in Missouri, which is a land of assholes, unless you're trying to get through a door. Just about everybody will hold the damn things. People hold the door for me, and I'm a grotesque, obese nerd.

>> No.12620505

>>12620495
So many signs of a sexually abused women.

>> No.12620508

>>12620498
He tends to pick up girls at parties and at bars, where he can keep them at an arm's length. They never get the chance to figure out what a massive jerk he is. In the 12-18 hours they spend with him, they just figure he's refreshingly confident.

>> No.12620632

So on a subject that isn't about one chick's encounter with a guy that may or may not be prettier AND more of an asshole than your typical denizen of /b/, skip the competition of Who Makes A Better Dad between the Knight, the Samurai, and the Viking.

Make it a sitcom, make a million bucks, laugh at everyone who called you crazy.

>> No.12620640

>>12620495
Bad, bad case of G.O.T.I.S.

>> No.12620742

>>12620632

Knight: "Mine childe will smite yours!"
Samurai: "Mine will bisect yours with a simple horizontal slice, gaijin!"
Viking: "RRAAAARRHHLLLL!"
Knight&Samurai: "SHUT UP!"
Knightkid: "Oh goddammit, they're at it again."
Samuraikid: "Such bullshit..."
Vikingkid: "Guys, I think someone's pulling into the driveway."
Pirate: "YARRR! Beer for me hearties!"
Kids: "UNCLE PIRATE! YAAAY!"

>> No.12621125

>>12619763

....yes we do

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