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[ERROR] No.12593311 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Katanas need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.12593320

This seems like a reasonable houserule for increasing the prominence of katanas in your d20 game!

>> No.12593325

Cool story, bro.

>> No.12593328

Dude, this is boring. At least change it up so it's funny.

>> No.12593339

>>12593311
You watch too many cartoons. Katanas aren't any better then a longsword, worse in some ways.

>> No.12593345

oh boy here we go again

>> No.12593354

Old copypasta is old.

>> No.12593355

ITT: newfag retards replying to ages-old shitty copypasta.

>> No.12593357

Wow, still people who haven't seen this

>> No.12593367

Man, we've discussed this shit to death. Why make a new thread for it?

>> No.12593372

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork O'Neill Colony" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Babylon 5 deserves much better than that. Much, much better than that.
I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Babylon station in Epsilon Eridani for 2,400,000,000,000,000 credits (that's about $2 quintillion) and have been practicing with it for almost 3 years now. I can even cut Centauri battlecruisers with my defense grid.
Human construction crews spend years working on a single Babylon station and rebuild it up to four times to produce the finest space stations known to mankind.
Babylon stations are thrice as advanced as normal O'Neill colonies and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a normal energy weapon can cut through, a Babylon station's defense grid can cut through better. I'm pretty sure Babylon 5 could easily bisect a Shadow vessel with a simple vertical slash.
Ever wonder why the Minbari never bothered conquering Earth? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Humans and their Babylon Project of destruction. Even in the Shadow War, the Shadows and their allies targeted the Babylon stations first because their firepower was feared and respected.
So what am I saying? Babylon 5 is simply a dream given form, and thus, requires better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Babylon 5:
Heavy Pulse Cannon, Attack +9, Damage 200+5d10, Critical 17-20, Range 9 Counts as Masterwork
Two quad-linked Particle Beams, Attack +6, Damage 80+4d10, Critical 17-20, Range 7 Counts as Masterwork
Eight Particle Beams, Attack +5, Damage 30+3d10, Critical 17-20, Range 5 Counts as Masterwork
Four Mk I Interceptors, Attack +9, Damage 50+5d10, Critical 17-20, Range 3, Rapid Fire Counts as Masterwork
Now that seems a lot more representative of the firepower of Babylon stations in real life, don't you think?
tl;dr = Babylon 5 needs to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.12593375

>>12593367
To get retards like you to bump it, shitting up /tg/.

Good job, breeder.

>> No.12593410

Best thread on /tg/ at the moment

>> No.12593414

Le sigh.

>> No.12593422

this copypasta has none of the quality found in honorable japanese copypasta

>> No.12593426

I'll bump it, just because all you sagefags are saging.

I mean, I could just hide the thread. But what's the point in that?

>> No.12593439

Because you make something harder doesn't mean it will magically cut through dense or less hard materials.
But you also will make it more brittle, let's see what happens when we take a hard brittle peice of metal and bang it against a softer, larger slab.

>> No.12593456

>>12593372

>Ever wonder why the Minbari never bothered conquering Earth? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Humans and their Babylon Project of destruction.

Wait, what? Babylon project came after the earth-Minbari war.

>> No.12593466

>>12593426
>I'm going to intentionally shit up /tg/
Why do you even come here?

>> No.12593472

>>12593456

I know. It's for extra trolling value, and because the copypasta won't work without it.

>> No.12593510

>>12593472
Love that trollface.

This is now a B5 thread.

>> No.12593541

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Slab of Solid Iron" bullshit that's going on in this meme. Slabs of Solid Steel deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Slab of Solid Steel in a Blast Furnace for $20 (that's about $20) and have been practising with it for almost 2 years now. I can even smack people who talk nonsense with my slab of solid steel.

Migrant workers spend years working on a single slab of steel and add coal or something to produce the finest slabs of metal known to mankind.

Slabs of steel are thrice as hard as slabs of pig iron and thrice as sharp for that matter too. Anything that can cut through it is going to be a lot cuttier than a katana. I'm pretty sure a slab of steel could easily concuss an idiot with a katana with a simple blow to the head.

Ever wonder why girders and bridges are made out of steel? That's right, steel is not easy to cut through. Even in World War II, we used steel because its hardness was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Slabs of Solid Steel are simply the best Slabs that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better treatment in memes. Here is the stat block I propose for Slabs of Solid Steel:

Slab of Solid Steel: Can't be cut. That's it.


Now that seems a lot more representative of the power of Slabs of Solid Steel in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Slabs of Solid Steel need to receive less damage in memes, see my new stat block.

>> No.12593560

That’s it. I’m sick of all this “Masterwork Bastard Sword” bullshit that’s going on in the d20 system right now. Dragonslayers deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I’m talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Dragonslayer in a magical grimdark version of late medieval Italy for 600 innocents' souls (that’s about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid Apostles with my Dragonslayer.

Magical grimdark Italian smiths spend years working on a single Dragonslayer and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to Midland.

Dragonslayers are thrice as dull as European longswords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a Dragonslayer can smash into tiny pieces. I’m pretty sure a Dragonslayer could easily bisect a dozen trolls raping cultists with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering magical grimdark medieval Europe? That’s right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined survivors of childhood rape and their Dragonslayers of destruction. Even in the Golden Age, Purple Rhino Knights targeted the men with the Dragonslayers first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Dragonslayers are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Dragonslayers:

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)

8d8 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Every swing creates an AOE arc 10' in front and to the sides of the wielder, rolling to hit for each ally/enemy in the AOE.

Swarms of tiny or smaller creatures caught in the AOE are instantly killed, automatic hit, no chance to dodge or save.

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Dragonslayers in real life, don’t you think?

>> No.12593562

What is fucking wrong with you all

>> No.12593567

That's it. I'm sick of all this "stale old copypasta" bullshit that's going on in 4chan right now. Masterwork Bastard Sword copypasta deserves much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself wrote a genuine copypasta edit in /tg/ after 250 posts (that's about 3 days on the board) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even make cynical 4chan nerds rage with my copypasta.

4chan trolls spend years working on a single copypasta and repost it up to a million times to produce the finest text known to mankind.

Masterwork Bastard Sword threads are thrice as long as Flare threads and thrice as annoying for that matter too. Any thread furries can ruin, a Masterwork Bastard Sword edit can ruin better. I'm pretty sure a Bastard Sword pasta could easily bisect a 3.5E versus 4E thread with a simple sage.

Ever wonder why moderators never deleted any Masterwork Bastard Sword thread? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined trolls and their copypasta of destruction. Even when /tg/ was good, Anonymous saged the threads with the bastard sword copypasta first because their trolling power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Masterwork Bastard Sword is simply the best copypasta that 4chan has ever seen, and thus, require better recognition on 4chan. Here is the stat block I propose:

(Masterwork Copypasta) All trolls on the thread get +5 to rage checks, thread cannot be saged.

tl;dr = Bastard Sword pasta needs to be more effective on 4chan, see my new stat block.

>> No.12593580

>>12593311
Woden smiles on you OP for you remember the ancient times before the summer of terror. In gratitude I give you the greatest fucking thing you will ever see!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Pld6fHqHVLA

>> No.12593618

>>12593562
This is an old and respected art form. It's like a /tg/ form of poetry.

>> No.12593659

>>12593618
Yes; when the teeth of winter grow sharp, the bards of /tg/ speak tales of the copypasta of yore.

>> No.12593697

>>12593659
It's the skalds, my good man. Because skalds are like bards, but manly.

>> No.12593760

>>12593697
Fuck year.

>> No.12593791

>>12593697

I've proposed that the rest of my RPG troupe would start to refer to me (the GM) as skald. They just laughed at me though..

>> No.12593837

Fuck, I wish I saved that Green Sword Copypasta I did last week.

>> No.12594193

Cool story bro.

>> No.12595965

>>12593541
Oh god, I cracked up at the beginning, and was just laughing harder the more I read.

>> No.12596061

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Katana" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Masterwork bastard swords deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine masterwork bastard sword in Switzerland for 1,500,000 Eurocents (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my masterwork bastard sword.

European smiths spend years working on a single masterwork bastard sword and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Masterwork bastard swords are thrice as sharp as Japanese swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a nihonto can cut through, a masterwork bastard sword can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a masterwork bastard sword could easily bisect a samurai and his horse with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Japan never bothered conquering Europe? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Knights and their masterwork bastard swords of destruction. Even in World War II, Soviet soldiers targeted the men with the masterwork bastard swords first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Masterwork bastard swords are simply the best swords that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for masterwork bastard swords:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon) 1d12 Damage 19-20 x4 Crit +2 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon) 2d10 Damage 17-20 x4 Crit +5 to hit and damage Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of masterwork bastard swords in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = masterwork bastard swords need to do more damage in d20, see my new stat block.

>> No.12596124

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Crappy Angel Card" bullshit that's going on in the Magic: The Gathering right now. Serra Angel deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine 4 Serra Angels in a Hobby for 1 Lightning Bolt (that's about $0.45) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even destroy Darksteel Colossuses with my Serra Angel.

M:tG develompent teams spend years working on a single Serra Angel and tested it up to a million times to produce the finest Angel known to mankind.

Serra Angels are thrice as strong as Baneslayer Angels and thrice as mana efficient for that matter too. Anything a Baneslayer can kill, a Serra Angel can kill better. I'm pretty sure a Serra Angel could easily bisect a 5/5 Dragon wearing pro-white with a simple combat phase.

Ever wonder why Pro Tour finalists never bothered conquering a Serra Angel? That's right, they were too scared to fight the Mono White Planeswalker and their Serra Angel of destruction. Even in Beta, magic players targeted the men with the Serra Angels first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Serra Angels are simply the best Angel that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the magic system. Here is the stat block I propose for Magic:

3WW, Creature - Angel, 6/6, flying vigilance, lifelink, first strike, protection from Black and Red

3WWW, Creature - Angel, 7/7, flying, vigilance, lifelink, double strike, trample, haste

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Serra Angels in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Serra Angels need to do more damage in Magic, see my new stat block.

>> No.12596178

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Power Level 5 supporting character" bullshit that's going on in the Mutants and Masterminds system right now. Der Führer deserves better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Hitler in Austria for 2,400,000 Schilling (that's about $240,000) and have been practicing with him for almost 2 years now. I can even take over democratic countries with my Hitler. Austrian Catholics spend years working on a single Hitler and reject him from art academies up to two times to produce the most hateful tyrants known to mankind.

Hitler is thrice as charismatic as superpowered dictators and thrice as insane for that matter too. Anything Doctor Doom can subjugate, Hitler can subjugate better. I'm pretty sure Hitler could easily break through the Maginot line with a simple command to the Wehrmacht. Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Nazi Germany? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Nazi armies and their Führer of destruction. Even In World War II, American soldiers targeted Hitler first because his leadership was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Hitler is simply the best dictator the world has ever seen, and thus, requires better stats in the M&M system. Here are the stat block changes I propose for Hitler:

Charisma 42, Diplomacy 40, Perform(Oratory) X, Inspire 10

Now that seems a lot more representative of the seductive power of Hitler in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Hitler needs to seduce more populations in M&M, see my stat block changes.

>> No.12596204

This shit, if not reported, will eventually turn /tg/ into another /v/. /v/ was infected by faggery daggery doo. Please don't let it happen to /tg/.

This is the last board on 4chan I can actually stand to read.

>> No.12596213

>>12593567
Saved for later generations to appreciate.

>> No.12596252

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Bolter" bullshit that's going on in the Warhammer 40k system right now. Bolters deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine bolter from Mars for 1,500,000 Thrones (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even shoot through solid steel with my bolter.

Mars Tech-priest spend years working on a single masterwork bolt and please it's machine spirit up to a million times to produce the finest guns known to all of the galaxy.

Bolter are thrice as powerful as Ork shootas and thrice as penetrating for that matter too. Anything a shoota can punch through, a bolter can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a bolter could easily explode a warboss and his bike with a simple shot.

Ever wonder why the Imperium of Man never bothered conquering the eldar craftworlds? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Adeptus Astartes and their bolters of destruction. Even in The Third War of Armageddon, Ork boyz targeted the men with the bolters first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? bolters are simply the best guns that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in Warhammer 40k. Here is the stat block I propose for masterwork bastard swords:

Range: 60" Strangth 7 Ap 2 Assault 5 Rending Blast

Now that seems a lot more representative of the blasting power of bolters in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = bolters need to do more damage in WH 40k, see my new stat block.

>> No.12596272

>>12596178
Except for the part where you say you own a hitler, that actually looks like a reasonable proposition.

>> No.12596295

Animated.

>> No.12596317

>>12593439
I only just noticed that he chipped the longsword.

>> No.12596349

>>12596252
>Ever wonder why the Imperium of Man never bothered conquering the eldar craftworlds? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Adeptus Astartes and their bolters of destruction.

wat.

>> No.12596372

>>12596349
IDK I was in a hurry.

>> No.12596549

>>12596124

Awesome.

>> No.12596590

Copypasta did not go far enough!

What about leather trenchcoats? Why are they not the superior armour type. They should all have more armour than anything else no matter what the system!

>> No.12596615

>>12596317
Don't forget that the longsword's clamped hard to a table, thus the energy of the impact bounces back into the katana, chipping the harder edge steel and flexing the softer backing steel out of shape. Though that backing steel must've been shittily made--usually when that happens with a katana, it just whips back into its normal shape, retaining the chip on the cutting edge.

>> No.12596642

>>12596615
That's a demo video for a sword making company.

>> No.12596736

>>12596615

the full version of the video has the test repeated using a longsword on a katana. It snapped it in half. (still got dented though)

>> No.12596950

>>12596615
Yeah. Tell me more.
Sword vs. sword

>> No.12596962

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Space Marine" bullshit that's going on in the Warhammer 40k system right now. Ultramarines deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine Ultramarine from Ultramar for seven Forge Worlds. (that's about a billion times the Earth's GDP) and have been practicing with him for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid tyranids with my Ultramarine.

Mars Tech-priest spend years equipping a single ultramarine and please his machine spirits up to a million times to produce the finest armaments known to all of the galaxy.

Ultramarines are thrice as powerful as all of the other chapters combined and thrice as penetrating for that matter too. Anything an other marine can punch through, an Ultramarine can cut through better. I'm pretty sure an Ultramarine could easily explode a warboss and his bike with a simple flex of his dick.

Ever wonder why the Necrons never bothered conquering the Ultramar? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Ultramarines and their codex of destruction. Even in The Third War of Armageddon, Ork boyz targeted the men with the Ultramarines first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Ultramarines are simply the best combatants that the universe has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in Warhammer 40k. Here is the stat block I propose for Ultramarines:

WS 6 BS 5 S 5 T 5 W 4 I 5 As Ld 10 Sv 3+

Now that seems a lot more representative of the fighting power of Ultramarines in real life, don't you think?

tl;dr = Ultramarines need to do more damage in WH 40k, see my new stat block.

>> No.12596982

lol feeding trolls.
Swords are for bitches.
Us an axe or pick like a real man!

>> No.12596984

Really? This age-old shitspam has been up for almost SEVEN hours?
Ugh... looks like another example of the mod not knowing how to do his fucking job properly.

>> No.12597005

That's it. I'm sick of all this "Masterwork Bastard Sword" bullshit that's going on in the d20 system right now. Katanas deserve much better than that. Much, much better than that.

I should know what I'm talking about. I myself commissioned a genuine katana in Japan for 2,400,000 Yen (that's about $20,000) and have been practicing with it for almost 2 years now. I can even cut slabs of solid steel with my katana.

Japanese smiths spend years working on a single katana and fold it up to a million times to produce the finest blades known to mankind.

Katanas are thrice as sharp as European swords and thrice as hard for that matter too. Anything a longsword can cut through, a katana can cut through better. I'm pretty sure a katana could easily bisect a knight wearing full plate with a simple vertical slash.

Ever wonder why medieval Europe never bothered conquering Japan? That's right, they were too scared to fight the disciplined Samurai and their katanas of destruction. Even in World War II, American soldiers targeted the men with the katanas first because their killing power was feared and respected.

So what am I saying? Katanas are simply the best sword that the world has ever seen, and thus, require better stats in the d20 system. Here is the stat block I propose for Katanas:

(One-Handed Exotic Weapon)
1d12 Damage
19-20 x4 Crit
+2 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

(Two-Handed Exotic Weapon)
2d10 Damage
17-20 x4 Crit
+5 to hit and damage
Counts as Masterwork

Now that seems a lot more representative of the cutting power of Katanas in real life, don't you think?

fail troll is fail..

>> No.12597035

>>12596962
Those stats are higher than a chapter master.

>> No.12597041

>>12593560
Best one because of
>I can even cut slabs of solid Apostles

>> No.12597107

anyone got the one about the car made out of katana traveling at the speed of diamonds crashing into a wall of miles per hour?

>seek velmoot

>> No.12597125

If only I could get my fucking USB to work.

>> No.12597129

>>12597005

>>
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