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11746405 No.11746405 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

well we are seeing a TON of Dark Heresy threads so lets do a fun one. Not of rules but of BEAUTIFUL stories of our heroic adventures, or our devilish deeds of EVIL!

I'll start, in our current campaign I play a Tech Priest and I have made it a goal of mine to study the Dark Mechanicus. Basically to see what makes there heretical bodies tick.

In the current mission I had a daemon weapon and didn't know what it did. our group was attacked by a daemon possessed gun servitor wealding a Heavy Bolter and Breacher Drill. I grasped the key as it shuck on my belt. After grabbing it, a beam of light came out and snared the gun servator, I run towards the servator so it dose not pull me. I get too close the daemon is set free of its mortal shell but I still have him trapped by my weapon...

so I do the first thing that came to mind... STAB IT IN THE HEART WITH THE KEY. So I get close to it, my skin starts to boil and steam, My augmentic eyes start to leak some black fluids, THEN I stab the beast, he goes up in flames and so do my hands... In terror I scream a line of scrap code then I am then knocked unconscious. while unconscious I am in my own mind, seeing the bianary floating around. But while exploring my mind, I find scrap code within my system...

>> No.11746425

>>11746405
ctd...

while seeing the scrap code I study it momentarily, after studying it and learning its basics, I learn that it is slaved to delete my overwritten personality files... after that I woke up as one of the NPC's slapped the shit out of me to wake me

>> No.11746450
File: 29 KB, 244x340, 1281398222552.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11746450

>>11746405
you held the key to his heart

>> No.11746488
File: 22 KB, 460x453, BacktotheFutureDocBrown-full.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11746488

YOU GONNA GET PURGED... Heretical mechanicus is heretical

>> No.11746601
File: 46 KB, 337x604, 1263863055428.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11746601

1010010101010010101001010101010 010101 1010110 10101011 1010101 10101 101010 101010111 000101 0001 1001001 01001001 10001001 0101001 10101 1001 1001 00001001 11001 10010101 0110101
>>11746405
>>11746425
001001 001 1000!!! 1001 001010 1110001 11001 1001 1010101 1010101 1001 10101 10001 1001 1001 0110001 10010001 1100 1000 1001 11000 10012

>> No.11746613
File: 129 KB, 828x560, john_blanche_battlefleet_gothic.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11746613

During the most recent session of my Rogue Trader group, something fantastically unlikely and heroic occured. Since they're essentially the same system and setting, I'm going to include it here.

The players had found themselves at this point in time with the party's Rogue Trader and Arch-Militant in a private meeting with an Ordo Xenos inquisitor and his Deathwatch wing-man aboard the players' cruiser. While, in the past, the inquisitor had been something of an annoyance, they were now ostensibly joining forces to combat a common evil (a powerful pirate lord who was threatening to conquer the entire Koronus Expanse).

Meanwhile, in the vessel's temple-shrine, the party Missionary (this is his player's first character in any roleplaying game) looks upon the statue of the God-Emperor and suddenly feels compelled to go upstairs.

Meanwhile, talks with the inquisitor are revealing that something is not quite right. A wrong expression here, an odd look there. Just as the Missionary arrives, the Arch-Militant confronts the inquisitor and asks to know just what the hell is going on.

(continued, also, pic related, it's the players' ship, except with a giant skull on the prow)

>> No.11746635

Played a Sister of Battle in a group that got trapped on a feral world without much equipment. Came across the crowning of a new barbarian king, who invited the followers of all the gods to convince him who should be his patron. My poor Sister had to demonstrate the superiority of the Emperor without simply killing everyone, mostly by tricking the other cultists into insulting the King and getting themselves executed.

And yes, I had "Playing with the Big Boys Now" running through my head the whole time.

>> No.11746640

Can't Techpriests shoot lightning from their hands? How much XP do they need to be able to do that?

>> No.11746652

>>11746635
Beautiful...haha.

>> No.11746667

>>11746640
they can have the upgrade where there hands become circuits so they can charge/ power smaller things at the cost of fatigue.

I did my mystical shit through a daemon weapon...hehe

>> No.11746680

My second time playing DH our landing shuttle crashed into a market district. Now my weapons were destroyed in the crash and heretics were gathering all around us. Our scum and SoB were taking a beating too. So I searched around the debris and found an electric can opener. I tore open the plastic covering on the can opener and fused it with my servo arm. Making a miniature saw of death I charged at the heretics against all of my reasoning. (the adept was screaming at me out of character for what I was doing) And I was able to slaughter seven of the heretics with my servo-can opener. This destroyed the moral of the other heretics around us and they fled giving us enough time to regroup and patch up. I carried this servo-can opener with me throughout the game. Using it as my main weapon along side with many lasweapons I added on. It was the most fun I've ever had playing DH ever.

>> No.11746717

>>11746640

It's like a 3rd or 4th level ability.

If anyone's interested, I can tell some of my stories, involving:

>Tech-Heresy! Whee!
>An Inquisitor that destroys absolutely everything!
>A run-in with the Eldar, and a corrupted spirit stone.
>The experience of flying a ship through the Warp, sans Gellar Field.
>My time as a chrono-gladiator.
>Our run-in with the Necrons, featuring badassery in killing a Lord, plus part Necronfication.
>Our run-in with the Orks, featuring dakka, diplomacy, squiggoths, and hijacking a Deff Dred.
>Tricking the Mechanicus into delivering me some new bits, only to be interrupted by a rather rude demon.

>> No.11746741

rolled 7 = 7

>>11746717
>Tech-Heresy! Whee!
>An Inquisitor that destroys absolutely everything!
>A run-in with the Eldar, and a corrupted spirit stone.
>The experience of flying a ship through the Warp, sans Gellar Field.
>My time as a chrono-gladiator.
>Our run-in with the Necrons, featuring badassery in killing a Lord, plus part Necronfication.
>Our run-in with the Orks, featuring dakka, diplomacy, squiggoths, and hijacking a Deff Dred.
>Tricking the Mechanicus into delivering me some new bits, only to be interrupted by a rather rude demon.

let the dice gods decide... but the ork one I want to hear regardless...haha

>> No.11746744

So a friend and I work together to run a Dark Heresy campaign for a group of new gamers. To help lure them in, we've forsaken the unforgiving nature inherent to the grimdark, and play by the rule of cool. This works far, far better than it has any right to.
The mission: We've received word of a petty crime lord, otherwise beneath the Inquisition's notice, has been dealing in Xenos tech. We're sent undercover to capture him for interrogation.

A group of bounty hunters ambush us, using a bomb in a staged wreck before opening fire.
Bounty Hunter: "Here's a gift from Perry!"
Assassin: "Who?"
BH: "The repair shop owner."
Psyker : "Who?"
BH: "You killed all his guards and tortured him."
A: "...Did we kill him?"
BH: "No."
A: "Oh, now I know who you mean."

(Note: This was not hyperbole. Between gunhappy players and some profoundly unlikely dice rolls, we have never been unable to fast-talk ourselves out of a fight. Today our 'didn't kill opposition' count climbed to two.)

As part of an attempt to convince a barman sympathetic to our target's enemy, the Adept (myself) quickly pretends to be an affable drunk.
Barman: Where have you been drinking?
Adept: I had--I had a couple on--on my ship.
B: He's the pilot?
Scum: No, of course not. He's the navigator.

Later, as the conversation turns to the target--and his thugs in the bar:

B: How much don't you like Verbal?
The Adept--a sober, serious old man--promptly seizes a glass off the counter, turns, and shatters it in the face of one of Verbal's thugs.
A: Thash how mush we don' like Verbal!

All plants within thirteen meters wither and die as our psyker rolls one of the infamous Perils of the Warp:
Enemy Killsquad Trooper: Thank the Throne he didn't summon a Daemon!
The trooper is then crushed beneath the massive bookcase the psyker pushed over onto him.

>> No.11746754

rolled 3 = 3

>>11746741
the dice gods smile on me this day...haha

but all of em sound kick ass, share as many as you would like to write about

>> No.11746757

>>11746717
>demon

gtfo

>> No.11746811

>>11746613 (that second meanwhile was rather unnecessary)

The Missionary stepped through the door, and instantly recognized a daemonic presence. As the trio began to draw their weapons, the warp entity revealed itself as a Herald of Tzeentch and it's daemonic presence temporarily incapacitated the Rogue Trader and the Arch-Militant with terrible visions. The Missionary, despite being immune to the effects of daemonic presence, also had a vision, albeit of a different nature.

He suddenly found himself on a rolling grassland, under a bright blue sky, with the light of a star shining on the horizon behind and to the right of him, a star which he knows deep inside is the light of blessed Sol. Silhouetted before it is was massive figure in golden power armour. It points at the now-revealed Herald of Tzeentch, a roiling mass of blue and pink flesh, and says, "This is a servant of the ruinous powers, which would seek to displace me. Seek them out, wherever they may be." The figure placed a single golden-clad powerfist upon the Missionary's shoulder. "Purge them, in my name."

So the Missionary whips out his two chainswords and charges the Herald, rolls Righteous Fury (or whatever the critical is called) TWICE, and ends up dealing over 70 damage, enough to kill the daemon three times over.

>> No.11746815

After a few jumps through the warp we've picked up quite a bit of garbage. I followed the group through the halls as we were in "travel time" and have lately been having troubles with death cults on the lower decks. So, we went out doing clean up duty.

After a bit we started coming in contact with blood stained halls, bodies maimed and hanged. We blamed the death cult until the 'ghosts' hit. Then we blamed the death cults and the crazy psyker we had.

We went through, then into a maintenance shaft into a sphere like room, most of the floor drenched in blood with a black book in the middle. After a few rolls turns out to be Khornate, summons this FUCKING huge daemon with armor and a huge fucking sword. We only had me, a crazy psyker, and...Blah, this one other guy. Two months ago.

Summing it up, we ended up having the Arch-Militant's troops attack, I ended up rolling a critical roll and three of the roll 10 bonus attacks. Blew the demon's upper body, armor, and head up with all the ammo left in my bolt pistol.

TL;DR: Bolt pistol makes things go boom boom.
R.I.P. The Bloody Stupid. Best damn ship out there.

>> No.11746820
File: 135 KB, 954x1449, rp_jastilus.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11746820

Well, this guy, Jastilus Havelock, was my character, a Hive-Noble Psyker. His father, a Tech-priest, owned a powerful trade empire, and was on shaky ground with his son ever since his psychic powers emerged. His mother is dead, he has no siblings. For all intents and purposes, Jastilus is the heir to the trade empire. He comes back home, and decides that a good way to win daddy's favor back would be to eliminate a rival family after their patriarch is killed in a tragic accident.

So he hires a mercenary company to do some tidying up.

I was expecting the mercenaries to use precision, marching through the spire and only killing the rival family. Instead, they wire up the entire hive spire with explosives and bring the whole thing down, killing thousands of civilians along with the rival family.

The plan didn't exactly work, though. His father flipped shit when he found out that his only son was responsible for the deaths of thousands of innocents, and disowned him. On the spot, the psyker drew his hellpistol and said:

"I should have known you never would have approved of me. Goodbye, father."

And shot himself on the spot.

And, just to make it clear, I ripped up my character sheet.

The GM didn't see this coming. He had a subplot centered entirely around my character, and he was expecting me to kill my father and usurp control of the family. Apparently not...

The replacement character I made (a Cleric) was a total badass, so it's all good.

>> No.11746839

>>11746811

truly, the emperor looked favorably upon him that day

>> No.11746840

A Feral World Guardsmen who grew on the outskirts of the planets only space port. He was conscripted into the guard, where he served as a simple guardsmen for a few years. Till a explosion took his sight from him. Kicked out of the guard, he became a boozer and a drunk at a space port lightyears from home. A inquisitor found him, and after seeing him take out three gangers by himself with only a chairleg and a broken amasec bottle. He approched and offered him a job, giving him some semblance of a job. he agreed, only because he thought it was a job as a bodyguard, not working for a inquisitor. As part of his hiring, he got a pair of eyes to allow him to see. As soon as he regained vision, he was given the sight of the Inquisitor standing there, grinning. His first words.
'Oh fucking hell."

And thats how I joined my first DH game

>> No.11746880

>>11746757
Daemon then. Anyways, shut up ya wanker.

>>11746741

Rightio, Orks it is then. As a bit of backstory, by this point in the campaign we had three people, but our Assassin got seperated, so this little adventure starred two of us and a few NPCs.
My character is Krell, a Feral World Guardsman that got modified and psycho-conditioned by order of his Inquisitor, and given tech-priest knowledge. Essentially, Inquisitor dickhead made himself a heretek. Later, he was captured by the Necrons, who tried to turn him into a Pariah. The Orks interrupted the process, stopping it right at the start, leaving him mostly necrodermis, with some phasing ability, but otherwise unchanged for the most part.
The other PC is Inquisitor Malus Roth, a newly-promoted Inquisitor, thus a bitch in the galactic scheme of things, and a telekinetic psyker.
We were aboard a Necron ship, which the Orks then attacked because they were bored. They rammed into it and let out all the boyz for a good brawl, and we both ended up on the ship. I had tried phasing through the wall, but only got halfway before a Mad Dok tranquilized me and cut me out of the wall for study. Roth got captured by a huge group of Orks and Weirdboyz.

>> No.11746888
File: 41 KB, 449x319, 1282267475224.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11746888

>>11746811
Fuck yes.

>> No.11746927
File: 7 KB, 251x208, 1252893515751s.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11746927

rolled 2 = 2

>>11746811
Sweet merciful God Emperor...

>> No.11746938
File: 4 KB, 300x57, ohwhatthehell.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11746938

>>11746839
That reminds me, we've decided my Adept is blessed by the God-Emperor himself.
It began when I rolled Righteous Fury on a standard lasgun attack, aiming for a raider charging down a woman protecting her child.
First roll: 10. Righteous Fury.
Second roll: 10.
Third roll: 10.
Fourth roll: 10.
Last roll: 9.
Plus three damage, I did fifty-two damage in one shot.

This joke continued when we went into a hiveworld bar some time later. Some botched social rolls got us into a fight, but the GM ruled that if we didn't pull weapons the fight would stay between us. Cue an improvised barroom brawl.
Now, the assassin covertly draws a knife and stabs his opposite, the scum breaks a bottle, the psyker makes a warp-assisted throw with an ashtray, shatters a guy's leg, and the torn femoral kills him. My Adept, on the other hand, is an elderly ex-guard vet. He's still sharp, but no young man. So he adopts a defensive stance, beckons for an enemy to charge him. With a few rolls he uses the guy's momentum against him and slides him across the bar and into the wall.

Me: "Hey, Ian?"
GM: "Yeah?"
Me: "Can I roll to see if the God-Emperor smiles on me and snaps the wire of the ubiquitous naked lady portrait hanging over the bar?"
GM: "...You can now, because that sounds awesome. Roll Fellowship."
Not only did it work, but the picture managed to snap his neck and kill him instantly.
They'll be talking about that barfight for years.

>> No.11746944
File: 99 KB, 247x248, LOL.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11746944

>Entire party's been kaptoored by heretek for 'study'
>My Guardsman managed to evade kaptoor and managed to miraculously follow the heretek's hired thugs back to his hideout in the underhive of the city we were in
>Broke in, and fought my way to the surgery room the heretek was using, while getting progressively messed up
>Ultimately killed heretek before surgery could begin
>My face
Feels good, man

>> No.11746985
File: 144 KB, 296x345, 1281681329587.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11746985

>>11746938
I love you son... never forget that of which I have told you

"Purge them, in my name."

>> No.11746994

>>11746944
Of course, this was followed by my character actually fainting from blood loss after getting the group free of their restraints, and almost dying on account of LOSING A FUCKING ARM to gunfire. It was dicey for a minute.

>> No.11747036

>>11746880

We had decided that in his backstory, my character had fought Orks before, and thus knew a little bit about them, mostly from talking to the Ork-Hunters. So, he knew about their Boss/Mek/Dok system, and he knew about their obsession with dakka. When he came to, he called out to the Mad Dok and told him that he wanted to see the Warboss. The Mad Dok asked what for. Krell replied with "Coz, I be a oomie Mekboy, and I wanna make 'im some guns with more dakka!"
This caused the Dok to go fuckoff berserk with glee, firing his slugga into the roof while bellowing "DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA DAKKA" as loud as he could. He left, and didn't come back. After a while of waiting, Krell got bored. So, he decided to go and find the Boss himself.
He tore the door right off of the cage he was in, and wandered out to look around. Now, I forgot to mention that he was completely naked, having lost all of his gear in a psyker-related incident.
He wandered out into the ship, and came across an Ork cooking a Squig on an open fire. Now, most Orks aren't smart, but this one was the dumbest Ork I've ever seen. Krell had to repeat everything, dumbing it down each time, until he finally got it. Eventually, he got across the message: he is a special mekboy, he needs to see the Warboss. Most interaction is done with Fellowship tests, however, Orks don't care how charming you are. They care about how big and tough you are. With Strength 51 and Intimidate +10, I was pretty damn scary. All tests to interact with the Orks were Intimidate, to make them think I was tough enough to pay attention to.

>> No.11747084
File: 151 KB, 750x485, kamina_approves.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11747084

>>11746938
Inside every Adept is a raging badass just waiting to be unleashed.

>> No.11747107

>>11746601
01010111 01101000 01100001 01110100 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01110010 01110000 00100000 01100100 01101001 01100100 00100000 01111001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01101010 01110101 01110011 01110100 00100000 01110011 01100001 01111001 00111111

>> No.11747137

>>11747107

01010111 01101001 01100100 01101100 01100101 01111001 00100000 01110011 01100011 01110101 01100100 01110011 00111111

>> No.11747142

>>11747036

Well, after a long walk through the ship with my new Orky friend, we eventually came to a passageway that he said he wasn't allowed down. The Nobz said he was 'too fick' to be let near 'those important ship gubbinz'. Krell thanked him for his help, and promised him that if the Warboss didn't kill him, he'd give his new friend a shoota with heaps of dakka. With a roar of glee and a headbutt t the wall, his new, smelly friend departed.

With that, bold as brass, I strode onto the bridge, looked around for the biggest Ork there, and bellowed out: "OI! WARBOSS! I WANNA WORK FOR YOU!"

Sure enough, the biggest Ork there spins around, looking confused, and bellows about why there's a goddamn 'oomie on his bridge. Krell just walks right up to him, and says: "Hey, Boss, I'm a 'oomie Mekboy. I wanna come work for the Orks, 'cause 'oomies are too puny and scared to use my guns. You let me work for you, give me all the bits I need, and I came make you guns with more dakka than you've ever known."

The Warboss stomps up to him, grabs him in one massive hand, and lifts him up to get a good look at him. "Hurr hurr hurr. You's big for an 'oomie, but you's nuffin compared to Orkses. I should squish you like a Squig." he says, or something to that effect.

Krell passes his Fear check, after all, he is hugeloy intimidating, and stares him down. "Alright Boss." he says. "I'll prove to you I'm big enough and tough enough to join the Orks. I'll fight your toughest Nobz."

Now, he had a plan here. If he could get the Orks to trust him, then he could get access to their ship and all it contained. No doubt they had looted weaponry, being Orks, so he could get some new gear, get a small ship and get the hell out of Dodge. Not really a bad plan.

>> No.11747201

>>11747137
01011001 01101111 01110101 00100000 01110111 01100001 01101110 01110100 00100000 01100001 00100000 01101000 01100001 01101100 01100110 00100000 01110100 01101111 01101110 00100000 01101111 01100110 00100000 01100010 01100001 01100011 01101111 01101110 00100000 01110111 01101001 01110100 01101000 00100000 01110100 01101000 01100001 01110100 00111111

>> No.11747237

>>11747201
01000001 01001110 01000100 00100000 01010100 01001000 01000101 01001110 00100000 01001001 00100000 01010111 01000001 01010011 00100000 01000010 01000001 01000011 01001111 01001110

>> No.11747251

>>11747142

Of course, being a barbarian warrior, he was supremely confident in his abilities. He was sure he'd be able to beat whatever was thrown at him, and make his plan work.

So, the Warboss thought for a moment, then started grinning. "I like dis Grot, 'e's got um fight in 'im. Take 'im to da pit!" The last part was bellowed at his Nobz, several of which came over to take him away. One of them grabbed Krell and made to shove him away, so Krell spun, and headbutted him as hard as he could, managing to break the Ork's nose. After all, they loved fighting, and respected strong fighters, so why not?

Predictably, the Nob came a him with a choppa, but Krell managed to avoid being hit. He ducked under one swing, then came out with a lightning-powered uppercut. He delivered a hugely powerful Luminen Shock, managing to stun the Ork, then knocked him to the ground and shocked him again. He managed to fry the Ork's brain so badly that it forgot it was even in a fight, and got up to wander off and shout at Grots with smoke pouring from it's ears.

After that, the trip to the pit was mostly uneventful. Krell eventually found himself with a large group of feral Orks armed with spears and clubs. They were herded down a hall, and eventually released into a huge arena at the center of the ship, with a horde of Boyz watching and cheering and bellowing from the stands.

>> No.11747337

>>11747251

Inquisitor Roth had been chucked in there too, at the other side of the arena, and as we came rushing out another set of huge doors opened. From this came clanking out four Killa Kans and a Deff Dred, a fuckoff huge one.

>oh....shit.

Then another two huge gates open, and first one, then another Squiggoth are jabbed with pointy sticks until they wander out.

>oh....SHITTTTTT

So, Krell does what any self-respecting naked guy with no weapons would do, and makes a beeline for the Dred, looking to hijack it. Roth does that exact same thing, but he just can't resist trying to break things.

He managed to reach it first, and attempted to telekinetically fling a small boulder at it. He got perils of the warp, and rolled up the effect 'Power hits Psyker instead'.

>ohshi-CLANG

So, he faceplants a Dread.

Krell then arrives and goes. "There you are sir! Great, you thought of nicking it too!" Inquisitor: "Yes...hijacking. That's what I was going to do. Yup." and starts clambering up the back of the machine. Krell climbs onto it's leg, and starts clambering up it too,

>> No.11747369

>>11747337
post faster ya git'!

>> No.11747419
File: 256 KB, 1000x706, 1282146094716.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11747419

obligatory WOT DA ZOG

>> No.11747447

>>11747419
>soft humie gubbinz
I always get hard and laugh when i read that part

>> No.11747470

>>11747419
they just took that base.....like nobodies business.

Seneschal rule 34 of acquisition.

>> No.11747480

>>11747369

I'm going I'm going! Geez!

>>11747337

The Psyker clambers up to the top, to find a pair of big shoota turrets crewed by Gretchin. He kills one with a mind power, then walks over to the other and uses Catch Bullets on it, putting his hand over the barrel. Gun goes boom, Gretchin dies.

Krell climbs up to the top and joins him, and starts trying to rip off the bolted-down hatch. As he's doing this, the Squiggoths starts stomping closer.

Roth's Player: I use Control Animal.
>trollface.jpg

The Squiggoth goes charging off and smashes into the stands, killing hundreds of Orks and setting off a riot. It eventually grinds to a halt from all the stuff in the way, when the second one cannons into it and sends it deeper.

>ship breaking noises
>roar of anger from warboss
>ohshit

>> No.11747582

>>11747480

I finally get the hatch off the top of the Dread and kill the Mekboy inside, after all, he's defensless, then interface with it and go on a rampage. Tear apart the Kans easily, then tell the Inquisitor to follow me to the assault bays. I stomp off through the stands, flaming and buzzsawing merrily away, until eventually the Dread breaks through the floor with one foot. I fail my test, and it topples. Goddammit.

So, Krell leaps out of it, tears the remaining shoota off of it's mount, and charges off towards the assault bays/hangar. We had a few scraps on the way there, nothing major. As we emerge into the bay, we see two things:

The first is a human ship, a bit battered but still spaceworthy, docked with the much-larger Ork ship.

The second is a group of three children, holding the Inquisitor's gear. At least, Krell saw them as children. The Inquisitor, he saw them as Gretchin, and prepared to kill them.

Y'see, those three were ll powerful psykers, and one of them, a little girl Krell named Arla, was a massively powerful beyond-Alpha. He'd adopted her as a daughter pretty much. We met them during the Warp incident, another long story.

Since she trusted Krell, he could see through her illusions, but the Inquisitor could not. He was about to kill her with mind power when Krell realised, spun around, and punched him in the face as hard as he could.

The hit put Roth onto negative wounds, dealing him 5 points of fatigue and knocking him right the fuck out.

Krell just picked him up and charged onto the ship with his kids. Turns out it was a Rogue Trader, who agreed to rescue them in exchange for help fixing his battered ship.

And that's the end of that tale.

>> No.11747612
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11747612

>> No.11747630

>>11747419
This has been posted so many damn times, but it never gets old. It's just so perfect.

Also, wasn't there another one?

>> No.11747673

>>11747630
That was the one when they were in a Black Ship and mindfuckery ensued.

Did you steal any good stuff from the Ork Ship?

>> No.11747679

>>11747582
that was beautiful...

would you like to post another story?

>> No.11747963

Right! I've returned from getting something to eat, so would ya'll like another story? If so, which one?

>> No.11747965

I remember seeing a 1500 point game where a lone Guardsman single-handedly killed fourteen Chaos Marines and survived the entire battle. With a lasrifle. Truly, the Emperor was with him that day.

>> No.11747976

>>11747963
the TRIZEY eldar

>> No.11747983

>>11747673

Only thing I got away with was a big shoota, which I subsequently stripped down to give parts to the Trader. It still worked about as well as an Ork gun could, it was just badass and sawn-off.

>> No.11748076

>>11747976

Rightio then!
Backstory once more:
This was before Krell's transformation into a Heretek. He was just a normal Guardsman, with his t-shirt and flashlight.
Inquisitor Roth was of course present for this dickery.
The other member of the group is our mind-wiped Assassin, Merc 863. He's a close combat monster, the guy that plays him is beardy something fierce, he's exploiting everything he can do to max out his power.

For our last adventure, we'd been part of a boarding party during a space battle. Our mission was to retrieve a mysterious artifact thought to be aboard the ship and take it for study. We fought our way through, encountering mutants, Spawn, daemons, a floor that tried to rape Krell, and other pleasant things. We eventually made it to the desecrated chapel, where we fought a Slaaneshi Chaos Marine and retrieved a daemonic tome. That daemon book gave the Inquisitor the mental image of a planet, so, we were sent by the senior Inquisitor overlooking the case to go and investigate.

Also, I really need to write this shit up in advance.

>> No.11748143

>>11748076

The book directed us to a very specific part of the planet, a huge ravine some seven kilometers deep. We landed as close as we could, then walked the rest of the way through the rainforest. Krell was pretty alert, and managed to catch a glimpse of something watching him through the trees with an amazing awareness roll. He warned the others that they were being watched with hand signals, trying not to tip off the watchers.

We weren't attacked, yet, but we double-timed it through the trees until we broke out into ancient and obviously xenos ruins. It was there that Roth nearly got his head blown off.

He was walking along, when a shot flashed past an inch from his nose. Another did the same for me, and one went right between the Assassin's legs. Not being an idiot, I leapt straight for cover, while the other two stood around going 'herpa derp.'

>> No.11748149
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11748149

>>11748076
but then again, you weren't expecting this awesome thread...haha

>> No.11748222

so does anyone have an opening on for an online DH or RT game? i wanna play some of this shit so badly.

>> No.11748226

>>11748143

Now, it was obvious that they were warning shots. After all, they fired again and did the exact same thing, just barely missing. So, Krell popped out of cover and searched for them through the scope of his hunting rifle, before getting back into cover. He couldn't find them, unfortunately. Fortunately, Roth chose the right time to be arrogant.

He turned to where he guessed the shots were coming from and held up his rosette for the snipers to see, guessing that they'd know what it meant. The shots stopped. So, we carried on.

As we moved deeper into the city, we came across a Mechanicus Explorator team, absolutely shredded. There were dead Tech-Priests and servitors scattered everywhere, blood splashed on the walls, limbs lying about.

>ohshit

We continued deeper into the city, and found that it actually continued out and down into the ravine, the buildings built onto the very wall and connected by thousands of ladders and staircases.

>> No.11748266

>>11748222
if you don't mind a forum based DH game, I got one for you

he updates once/ twice a week

http://goblinminimart.com/forum/viewforum.php?f=36
I'm the tech priest

>> No.11748272

>>11746820
You. I know you. And yes, the cleric was a badass. Except when Suzi entered the picture. Then he was a freakin' monster.

That said, give me your goddamn email address. Please.

>> No.11748276

>>11748266
>>11748222
PM the guy named Skeller, he is the guy running it

>> No.11748300

>>11748226

Down below, docked to a gangway bolted into the ancient stone, we saw a Mechanicus ship and decided to investigate, after all, we wanted to know what we were coming up against.

We made our way down, finding alarm systems everywhere and bypassing them, and went into the ship. It was absolutely covered in blood and gore, every single surface splattered with it. It looked like an Ogryn ate a sack of live grenades in there.

We were looking around in there, when we managed to hear the faint scrabbling of claws on the roof. A second later, all those alarms started going off, klaxons wailing as mutiple alarms were tripped. Then they started clawing through the roof.

>ohshitohshitohshit

>> No.11748379

>>11748266
thats actually quite good for me, since i wouldnt tie up my schedule which is important because fucking college

>> No.11748399

>>11748300

To this day I don't now what the hell those things were, whether they were 'Nids, or Chaos beasts, or some fucked-up creature from that planet. All I know is, they wanted to eat us all.

The Inquisitor reached out with his mind and saw that there were a few on the roof, and a shitload coming down the docking tube towards the ship door. He waited until they were closer, then blasted the doors off with his mind. I threw a grenade out after the doors, but it turned out to be a dud. Which is a good thing.

Y'see, the doors went flying down the hall, smashing beasties and doing harm, and continued off down the hallway. Where they smashed into a few huge promethium tanks. Which started to spray fuel everywhere.

>OH SHIT

In the time it took for that to happen, the beasties had nearly clawed through the roof.

>DOUBLE SHIT

So, Inquisitor Dick steps out of the ship, turns, and telekinetically rips it from it's mooring, forgetting to yanno, wait for us to get out. We leap clear as the docked ship is torn free, and the engines give out from being run on hover for too long without maintainence.

The Mechanicus lander drops and smashes into the building below, demolishing them and killing most of the beasties, before it starts tumbling down, starting an avalanche.

Then the ground gave way under our feet.

>> No.11748402

>>11748379
and that is why I have been playing it for so long, plus you can see that our GM is pretty good... and if you talk to him via PM he is quite likable...

guardsman001 here... *puts out hand* nice to meet ya

>> No.11748481

>>11748399

Unfortunately, the Mechanicus ship was still connected to the stuff on the ground, fuel lines and power lines and the like. As it fell, it dragged them with it, tearing apart their foundations and destabilising the ancient rock. The ground gives way as we turn to see huge tanks of promethium coming straight towards us.

We get caught up in the avalanche and tumble down the ravine. At least, us peons did. The Inquisitor used his powers to levitate a stone, then surfed around on it looking smug.

The Assassin tumbled and was smashed up pretty bad, I managed to keep my feet somewhat and go with the slide. It was then that we spotted the lip.

The slope that we were on was an irregularity in the cliff face, an outcropping that jutted out and then sharply dipped back in. Just down the slope was a ledge, over which was a six kilometer drop to the ravine floor.

Krell grabbed onto a solid bit of stone and managed to stop himself, despite getting grazed by the promethium tank as it went past.

The Assassin went flying right off the edge.

>> No.11748549

>>11748402
ha, nice to meet you too. i dunno what ill play as yet. i should probably find out what everyone else is first.

>> No.11748569

>>11748481

Luckily for him, his fall was significantly less than 6 k's. The ship had gone over the edge, but the trailing cables had snagged and finally brought it to a halt, swaying precariously over the huge drop. The Assassin was on 0 wounds, but alive, and I'd only taken a few wound's damage.

We recovered him, and got on with the mission. The rockslide had uncovered a tunnel, that the book wanted us to go down. So, we did. We wandered down this ancient tunnel, until we eventually came out into a large room with a deep pool in the middle. A pool of ancient sewage.

The Inquisitor flew over, but left us peons to swim across. So, reluctantly, we did. We swam across, but as we went, it started getting thicker and thicker, like glue, slowing us down. Suddenly, it felt like there were hands grabing at us, trying to drag us down. Yes folks, it was a pool of daemon shit.

The Assassin used his Agility to wriggle out and run across the surface. Krell tried using Strength to muscle his way through, but failed. I then tried Agility too, and rolled a 001.

>Cue musclebound Guardsman loaded down with gear gaily skipping across the surface of the daemon shit.

>> No.11748584

>>11748549
*ponders*
2 guardsmen
1 tech priest (possible 2nd on way)
1 psycher

>> No.11748624

So this one time, we were fighting mass combat against an ork horde, and the orks had a Gargant and I was playing a DH-style psyker.

So, so, first turn, that gargant's main guns blew a sizable portion of our men away.

I casted Weapon Jinx in return.

>> No.11748631

>>11748569

After we'd all made it to the other side, we were examining a temporary wall that was blocking us. We were worried about bringing down the roof again or something. Then one of us noticed movement out of the corner of his eye.

The daemon sludge was slowly moving, growing out and forming into shapes. Seeing that, we bulled through the wall to safety, just in time, as spikes made out of hardened gunk shot out and filled the entire room.

Past that danger, we pressed on through the tunnels, until we eventually emerged into a room. We were on a balcony, and down below we could hear voices and see movement. We snuck over to the edge trying to get a better look, but theu spotted us too, and started firing.

A huge wave of energy blasts and solid projectiles flew over us as we dropped, peppering the wall with holes and taking hge chunks out of our balcony. I responded by lobbing grenades.

>> No.11748690

>>11748631

The blasts go off, there's a mechanical screeching and a few cries of pain, but the fire doesn't ease. The Inquisitor reaches out with his mind to see what we're up against. He finds a full squad of Dire Avengers, lead by an Exarch, as well as a few Wraithguard, and a single Farseer.

>OHSHIT

The Farseer immediately grabs his mind and looks through it like a book, before ordering him to surreder. He does so, and orders us to do the same. The Assassin freaked out though, and had to get knocked out by an Avenger. We were disarmed and taken down to see the farseer, who was standing in front of a black soulstone set in a wall of corrupted and oozing black wraithbone.

>> No.11748757

Well if anyone hasn't run the Damned Cities module by FFG, you should be warned their will be spoilers ahead.

So my players were doing pretty well by the standards of the mission's designers. They had brokered a peace between the Undertow and the Synophia's decadent nobility. At every turn they seemed to foil Skarmen, acquiring two of the mirror shards all while fending off the Risen. Things might have been too easy, but they were enjoying themselves and had earned every victory through thorough planning. Finally, as it neared the end, I decided to speed things up.

They suspected Skarmen was hiding something, but they figured it was some minor vices and not the domination of a demon. This was because I had gone against the mission's suggestions and made Skarmen as helpful as possible. Even when I hinted that Haarlock's Folly was tainted, they still attributed it the general aura of it's makers. That meant that when the betrayal happened, they were helpless.

Basically it was raining like shit, and my players were riding in a small black limo, confident they had kept Sinophia safe from anarchy. When the Arbiter Rhino rammed their ride, the look of shock on their faces was sweet to me. The driver was dead on impact, and the players were banged up pretty badly. Crawling out from the wreckage, they were greeted by the blast of twelve auto-shotguns. Normally, most groups would have been dead by now but my players are like roaches. You'd a thermonuclear explosion to kill them.

>> No.11748765

>>11748757

Dragging their wounded out, they fortified themselves against their foes while calling out on the radio for help. Meanwhile, they listened to reports that an unknown force was tearing it's way through the city. Some thought it was the Undertow, others the Enforcers. As news continued to pour in it was clear their enemy wasn't human. The first to answer their calls was an Undertow death squad under to command of a the familiar rogue, Lussk. Riding in the back of a pick up truck fitted with a heavy stubber, the gangers gave my players enough to the scramble into the fray. They quickly foes, despite their unnatural durability.

Jumping in the back of Lussk's truck they quickly formulated a plan. They'd done some research earlier with Eupheme and had identified the Mirror Demon for what it was. With the help of her grandfather's wards, they had sealed those shards they had found in titanium cases and had prepared several more for any more they discovered.

Through what evidence they had gleaned, they reasoned their where only two remaining shards left. The first was in the hands of the Khan the Enforcer General. Final piece was left up to the GM to create so what follows is of my own making. The last was held in part of the mural of the Cathedral of Crusade's founding. Basically when Haarlock took control of the Sinophia, he defiled the Cathedral because it was made to honor the Rogue Trader Teresa Sinos, a rival of his. When Haarlock eventually left, Sinophia's inhabitants tried to repair the cathedral to the best of their ability. Included in these repairs was a mural depicting Teresa Sinos triumphant over the enemies of the Emperor. Upon her head was crown with a shining jewel. This jewel was the last mirror shard, put there by an artisan who found it fitting that the remains of Haarlock's Folly be used to fix the Cathedral.

>> No.11748780

>>11748765

They were still deciding when a erratic radio report came that the Enforcer General had been assaulted by the Risen. Rushing to the scene, they arrived to see a horribly mutated Skarmen leading the attack on the Enforcer's Fortress. Fighting their way pay the Risen, my players arrived just in time to find Khan broken and Skarmen triumphant with the Medallion in his claws. Charging into the fray, my players managed to save Khan. Between bloody gasps, the Khan thanked them and ordered a squad of his Mandatos to protect him. He then passed out and was spirited away by his loyal soldiers.

My player's, knowing that they would be the prime targets of Skarmen because they held the final pieces, decided to make the Demon come to them. Radioing for all of their allies to rally at the Cathedral of the Crusade's Founding, they were determined to make their final stand there. When they arrived however, they found a Arbiter Rhino already at the scene. Cautiously approaching the vehicle they were relieved to find Arbitrator Adjutant Fihad Constantine with what few remaining Arbiters he could muster up. Consolidating their forces, my players ended up with 3 Arbiters, 4 Mandatos, 4 House Maywroth Guards, and 4 of Lussk's Crew. They decided then to fortify the Cathedral to the best of their ability. Grabbing sandbags from the Rhino, they set up three positions with Heavy Stubbers. Meanwhile, the Cleric player rallied the local clergy to scribe the protective wards of the doors. They then joined the rest of their forces in protective prayer. Then came the wait.

>> No.11748791

>>11748780

They didn't have to wait long. As the clock struck midnight, storm grew so bad that it blotted out almost all noise. It was then that the fallen Proctor Skarmen struck. First it started with a thump against the Cathedral's doors, growing louder with each second. Then the windows shattered, hail the size of soda cans smashing them. This was when some of my more faithful players started screaming litanies. The Cathedral's door then burst open and the undead poured in. Just to give you some numbers, there where about 30 common undead, 15 undead Arbiters, 8 Risen, and of course the avatar of the Mirror Demon Skarmen. I was using mass combat rules so everything didn't bog down. The PF opened up on the Undead, slaughtering many of the CU. Over their dead bodies, came the UA and Risen. Way tougher to take down, they slowly advanced on my player's defensive line. Then there was melee. Most the friendly NPCs were killed in this part as the UA weapons simply outclassed them by orders of magnitude. Still they tied them down long enough for my players to focus on the Risen. It wasn't enough.

As my players watched their allies fall to the ground, torn apart by the sheer ferocity of the damned horde, all seemed lost. Spectre Cell 17 saved them. The elite kill team choose this time to act. Emerging from the shadows, they flanked the Undead and turned the tide in the favor of the players. Finally came the battle against Skarmen. Whatever was left of the Proctor was gone, only the leaving the desire to free his master. He was also suitably mutated, with several unnatural characteristics accompanying that. Did I mention he breathed fire? The battle was long, and hard with more than one player spending multiple fate points. Finally the Sister of Battle struck him down with her power sword. Thus they were victorious.

>> No.11748810

>>11748780

Sounds a little too easy right? Good Ending? Nope. As my players turned to thank Spectre Cell 17, they were attacked. The first to go down was Constantine, Spectre Cell 17's leader Hellos killing him with a bolter round to the back. Screaming is rage, my players turned their wrath upon their betrayers. They outnumbered them, but were pretty wounded. Pushing themselves to the limit, my players burned fate points left and right. Finally our Templar Psyker defeated the last of them in what I can only describe as a Jedi duel. Turning to the defeated Lo-tan, he ask why they had been betrayed. His opponent only responded with mute silence. Disgusted, our Psyker plunged his blade into Lo-tan's chest causing him to explode into gibblets. Thus my player's tasted bitter victory of a kind.

They still had to destroy the Mirror. Slogging through the storm, I stressed how nature itself seemed to oppose them. Still my players marched into Haarlock's Folly, destroying what little resistance remained. Tearing apart Skarmen's room, they eventually found the secret passage to the Mirror. Entering the chamber, they found the demon waiting. It promised them many things including insight into the mind of Haarlock. The players should have felt tempted but were still bitter from their past trials. As the Assassin put it, "I just want you to suffer." The Sister of Battle then smashed the mirror with her power blade. My players collected up the pieces of the Mirror and sealed them in warded containers.

>> No.11748818

>>11748810

The mission proceeded normally from there on out. The next day after the storm, they oversaw the burning of the Undead's remaining bodies, the destruction of Haarlock's Folly, and attended a ceremony in celebration of their cleansing of Sinophia. They had made many allies but also several enemies including the Mirror Demon and the mysterious Tyrantine Cabal.

>> No.11748824

>>11748690

We told him that we were here to destroy any evil we found, and he seemed inclined to believe us, as the Avengers bound our Assassin to the wall with loops of wraithbone for his safety and theirs when he woke up.

He told us that his people were taking care of this, and that it was not out place to interfere in Eldar matters. The conversation continued, but ended abruptly when a blast of energy filled the room, and we were all knocked out.

When I awoke, I was pinned under the corpse of an Avenger. I shoved it off and got to my feet, as the Psyker did the same.

All the Eldar were dead, even the Farseer, and more Eldar had joined the first group. These, however, wore dark armour covered in spikes. They were the victors, though barely, what was obviously their leader and threee bodyguards standing there. They attacked.

I dived out of the way behind a pillar, and tried taking the gun from a dead Avenger. It was attached to his armour.

>OHSHITOHSHITOHSHIT

I tried ripping it off, but I failed the first time. A blast of energy lashed out at me, grazing the side of my face. It melted the entire left side of my face and destroyed my eye.

I responded by tearing the gun free, finally, and bringing it around to try and kill my attacker. I got my hands on it just in time to block his attack, saving myself, but smashing the shurkien rifle. I dived away towards the closest corpse, grabbed it's gun, and without breaking it away, aimed and pulled the trigger.

I peppered him with something like 7 hits, killing him instantly. The other two bodyguards were killed by the Inquisitor, while the Assassin woke up and tried to free himself.

We fired at the Archon, but he had a field that stopped it all. Then he laughed, took out a goblet, set it on the ground, then disappeared in a
crack of energy.

>> No.11748853

>>11748824

The entire place started crumbling around us, as we ran, and a mysterious force started pulling at us. We were dragged by this force, up, through solid stone, phasing through it like it wasn't there. The Inquisitor and the Assassin made it all the way to the surface, to be spat out next to an Eldar structure, I wasn't so lucky. I started materialising too soon, and was buried alive just below the surface. Stones and dirt had been merged with my body, requirig major surgery to fix. I'd kept hold of the shuriken rifle, although it was now missing parts. That gun, and it's destructive power, made Krell want to learn about tech, setting him on the path he walks now.

The End.

>> No.11748898

>>11748853
Bravo my good sir, Bravo!

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