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[ERROR] No.11199146 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

>Playing SM vs Orks.
>Land my Sternguards badly with a Drop Pod
>Move to a defensive position, taking potshots at orks
>Next turn, they charge me, difficult terrain stops them from getting to me, but they're in cover
>My whole squad as combi-flamers
>Fuck Year.

>> No.11199168

>attempts to play AT43
>everyone dismisses it as a children board game
>forced to play some old dark eldar and orks

yea most 40k players can go fuck themselves. but dammit I'm bored

>> No.11199188

Ah, I'm sorry that your FLGS is close minded.
40k is a fun game though. Never tried AT43

>> No.11199240

>Scout Squad, sniper rifles and cloaks
>In +4 Cover, that has been improved by a tech marine to +3
>Cloaks increase it to +2
>Enemy spends all game trying to get close enough to knock them out.

>> No.11199270

Bumping for stories: Great Memories from your Favorite Games!

>> No.11199277

I dont mind 40k. Its just I find AT43 a better system for "realism" (yes I know I'm using that term loosely)

>> No.11199286

*shrugs* I didn't get into it for realism, I got into it for fun, but fair enough

>> No.11199292



>> No.11199302

>decided to field 15 teams of autocannons and 15 teams of lascannons
>turn 2, enemies 5 trukks and 2 battlewagons are pieces of scrap metal, only brought sluggas and claws for his infantry

>> No.11199306

No! This is a thread about Stories, not Flaming!

>> No.11199313

Dick move, sir!
Enjoy deepstrike!

>> No.11199329

Hmm forgot to mention I also brought an Inquisitor Lord

Yea I'm a dick. plus all does large bases.

>> No.11199371

Why is large bases a dick moves? I can see everything else...

>> No.11199395

playing fluffy saim-hann, win against IG tourney army by distracting with vypers lancing his tanks (bloody lucky shots) whilst bikes and wave serpent dire avengers sneak around the flank and roll him up. feels good man

>> No.11199404

>take some forgeworld shit
>get S9 supa cannon right on enemies kitted out leman russ executioner and his command squad

feels good man

>> No.11199419

hes talking about an inquisitor lord that can take shit which allows free shooting at deep striking models

>> No.11199428

>Last Turn
>Last Troops choice on the objective
>About to get charged by full squad of berzerkers and get horribly raped
>Chaos Sorc kills two marines
>About to roll LD, paase and yell out COMBAT TACTICS MOTHAFUCKA
>Roll a 7 on fallback
>Regroup, get on objective, wipe out Berzerkers with rest of army

>> No.11199464

>2 basilisks on my side
> he has some footsloging spessmehrens in the back
>Basilisk 1 dead on
>Basilisk 2 dead on
>20 dice to roll anything but
>he gave up turn 3

>> No.11199518

>Enemy is in a fortress behind a minefield.
>No one can get to him, so we're hiding in the forest just outside his wall, exchanging pot shots.
>Roll for reserves, drop pod comes in.
>Scatters horribly, ends up in no mans land
>Looks like my squad is about to die
>Not only does the drop pod survive, but all the marines do as well (Lucky rolls all of them)
>Attached librarian uses Gate of Infinity
>Appear behind the walls, slaughter the defenders

>> No.11199550

>play fantasy daemons but decide not to be a dick
>field a daemon prince, daemonettes, daemonette cav, and small blood crusher unit
>prince beats up high elf star dragon, cavalry munch on archers, daemonettes survive 3 rounds with phoenix guard and lion chariot


>> No.11199557

Why Damnit?

>> No.11199583

I'm not trying to be a dick but fantasy daemons are too fucking strong

the prince for example is one of their worst leaders compared to the greater daemons but somehow I strangled a star dragon to death and its lord.

>> No.11199613

>10 guardsmen hold back 12 ymgarl genestealers for 3 turns of cloase combat
>position chimeras so they block the genestealers from consolidating anywhere useful
>genestealers finally win on their turn, consolidate for 1'' in a 5'' space
>got a 6 on my D3 manticore missile roll
>all three hit dead on
>proceed to rape the remaining useless warriors and termagaunts

>> No.11199632

>Playing SM vs. Orks
>Field Cato Sicarius, attached to a tac squad
>Utterly fuck up their positioning, get them charged in the first round by Nobz and Choppa Boyz
>They fight, get half destroyed.
>Cato coups the War Boss, killing him instantly.
>Rest of squad sends the Nobz running
> The squad gets knocked down to a single marine and Cato, who then kill enough Orkz to send the Choppas running.
>Shoota Boyz charge in, kill remaining tac marine
>Cato single handedly kills enough Shoota Boyz to send them running, then chases them down and slaughters them
>Ends the game with all of his wounds, Luckiest Bastard Ever.

>> No.11199636

>> No.11199649

>collect LotR for fun
>find out someone at my store actually plays it
>intro game is my evilmen vs isenguard
>insert beginner shenanigans here

damn that was fun

>> No.11199650


>> No.11199655

>playing nids
>playing against tau
>i win

>> No.11199660

How'd you do that?

>> No.11199671

by winning

>> No.11199674


>> No.11199702

Really, there must be more to it than that

>> No.11199704

>10 ork commandos with Snitgrot pop up behind my zoanthropes
>Shooting does nothing
>Cause 1 wound to each other first round of close combat
>Zoans kill 2 orks second round, orks do nothing
>remaining 7 orks and snitgrot roll 10 for morale test and fall back
>They roll a 1 for flee, Zoans roll 6.
>Zoanthropes sweeping advance kill a unit of orks with a CC special character in CC

Fuck yes.

>> No.11199739

Holy shit...

>> No.11199771

>Trygon Prime and Hive Tyrant assault librarian through Terrain
>this is my Counts as Varro Tigirius, use Ezikel model,(Libby with power sword and mechanical face)
>Split attacks, two and two
>All hit
>One wound on each
>Roll Force weapon, failed first roll. Re-try, (Varro can use 3 psychic powers)
>Failed second roll, last chance now, gotta redeem himself!
>pass roll with triple 1s, fail invuln save from last turn force dome.
>Librarian dies but takes out a Trygon Prime and Hive Tyrant (Both at full wounds) with him, allows rest of army to clean up the warriors

I got a Trygon head and a Hive Tyrant head from some people I know, he now wears the jaw of the Trygon on his chest and I replaced his sword with the hive Tyrant's forehead spike, with greenstuff addition he looks completely badass

>> No.11199785

>Everyone in this thread

>> No.11199789

>Bring an army of Chaos Battle Maids to GW mini-tournament.
>Expect rage for Female Marines
>GW guys like my converted models
>Some how win a prize for painting


>> No.11199813


>> No.11199827

I think that the reaction to female marines defines a 40k player. If you just nod and accept it, you're mature
If you whine, you're a little bitch, and need to grow up

>> No.11199831

Hive Tyrant with 1 wound attacks my Necron Lord
Rolls all 1s
Necron Lord counterattacks with a Warsythe
Gets 3 wounds, kills Hive Tyrant

>> No.11199846

not really, if you against play tau, unless your full retard, youll win

>> No.11199853


Especially when it's Chaos. Chaos ignoring all convention and doing something out of the ordinary? That's a long-winded way to say "Tuesday".

>> No.11199859

What's with all this shit about winning?

>Playing Orks, versing Toasters.
>Several last stands that are actually balls to the wall charges all over the map.
>Reduce the enemy to a pile of scrap metal at great cost, then lose to a lucky roll that detonates my Killa Kan and kills everyone around it.
>Fuck yeah.

>> No.11199867

>Play Tau vs Orks
>Guns kill all but Warboss from one squad of warbikes and Painboy from other.
>Warboss gets killed on the charge, no Firewarrior losses
>Awesome face
>Painboy proceeds to wipe out three squads, my face

>> No.11199873

Map=board, it's just been ages since I've played.

>> No.11199908

>Vindicators fighting leman russes and missile teams on open terrain
>Taking a pounding. Feels bad man.
>About to lose half my damn army
>Drop pod with a tactical squad arrives in the middle of the
>Split into combat squads
>Ravage and rout two infantry squads as soon as they arrive
>Proceed to walk up and down the lines killin' guardsmen
>Still lost battle but a single tactical squad killed almost all the infantry he had
>feels good man

>> No.11199929

I don't think the Chaos Gods favoured it however

I lost most of my Termie Squad to a bunch of lasguns in one round.

I can only guess they hit the self-destruct button on their suits and cause them to blast off Team Rocket Style.

>> No.11199995

>Drive Chimera filled with conscripts into a BIG Genestealer squad, which had a Broodlord.
>Rending shenanigans ensues, Chimera explodes
>Lots of 'Stealers killed in the explosion
>Some conscripts surivive another two turns
>Enough time for me to maneuver some Autocannons in and blow everything to shit when they are finished off

That's how a conscripts -should- die, goddamn it. Heroes all.

>> No.11200013

>CSM vs Necron
>1 lone marine with a meltagun left
>surrounded on all sides by warriors destroyers and a monolith
>It's not my turn
>somehow survive every shot fired at me
>fire my one 1 shot and phase out the army

one of my first games, while I was still learning. I will never forget.

>> No.11200026

> SM Dread with multi-melta positioned to take out my Battlewagon with a side shot
> Zog that, Warboss and 'Ard Boyz charge into combat with it
>Forgot that the Nob with Power Klaw is skulking at the back of the unit
> Warboss with Big Choppa proceeds to annihilate Dread in one round of combat, getting two 4's, a 5 and a 6 for armour penetration
>Resulting blast takes out four 'Ard Boyz

best round of combat ever

>> No.11200030

>Playing Orks vs Orks
>Mirrormatch green tide, only boys n nobs on either side, low cover map
>Realize I have shootas and he has sluggachoppa

>> No.11200055

More Dakka vs More Choppa, final destination.

How'd it pan out?

>> No.11200068

>Hive Tyrant with two wounds left charges Straken as his squad.
>Manages to kill everyone but Straken.
>Straken hits back and kills him.
>Envisions Straken looking up at the thing and going "Is that the best you got?" Before punching it's head off.

>> No.11200086

I kited him at 18" all game camping a couple of 5+ cover spots and taking him down until finally he just charged me with a waagh and a bunch of half-strength units. Mopped up because he charged through cover without grenades (never take mobs without nades what the fuck.)

>> No.11200092

>Orkz vs. SM
>Locked in combat with his dread
>Dread has No weapons. All of them have been torn off by lucky stickbomb shots
>Immoblize it
>Finally, FINALLY, get a pen
>Roll a 6
>Kills all but seven of the twenty Boyz.
>Most Orky way to die, EVER.

>> No.11200125

>Meet a 'fex very much like this one.
>Watch it hug its way through my army, regenning all the way
>Lost, but feels cute man

>> No.11200137

>First time meeting 'nids ever (new codex)
>Tervigon shenanigans
>Charge Tervigon with my Furioso Librarian
>Realize monstrous creatures gets 2D6 vs vehicles
>My face

>> No.11200141

>>Tied in capture and control on turn 5
>>Holding central bunker with Plague Marines vs. hordes of tyranids about 2" away
>> Wipe out enough to secure objective and win 3-2

>> No.11200174

>Playing huge game of Chaos vs. Imperium
>My Chaos Sorcerer is the single Chaos soldier left after we get our asses kicked by Grey Knights and their Land Raider
>Surrounded on all sides by Terminators with Powerfists
>Beaten to death

>> No.11200194


>> No.11200226

>Single Catachan Guardsman runs up to my huge swarm of Scarabs and kills them all in Close Combat miraculously

Okay not my moment of awesome but still awesome.

>> No.11200240

Luckiest rolls ever?

>> No.11200248

>Catachan playing Dark Angels
>Deathwing termies deep strike next to squad
>Drop Demo pack, kill all save one
>Charge in, finish of final termie in CC.

Oh yes.

>> No.11200266

>Demon Hunters vs Space Wolves
>Stormtroopers sitting in cover, Chimera destroyed
>Assaulted by small squad of Marines
>Strike first, roll 6 1's on 6 dice. Make face
>Friend laughs. Roll's 7 1's on 7 dice.
>Both look shocked

>> No.11200271

Next time...Next time!

>> No.11200274

I somehow don't have stories of real luck or wierd victories to tell. I win often and sometimes those are moments of true glory but nothing wierd.

Wierd losses though, like my unit of 8 Berzerkers of Khorne defeated in close combat by 10 Fire Warriors, or a unit unit of 3.5ed Iron Warriors Havocs (with tank hunters veteran special rule) with 4 lascannons firing upon a Blood Raven Predator Destructor for 6 turns non stop, failing to do more than shake the crew once.

>> No.11200284

Which is weird, seeing as copious amounts of luck are the ONLY way that I win.

>> No.11200293


>> No.11200294

the emperor protects

>> No.11200298

Jesus christ, how would that have played out on the ground?

>> No.11200299

>My Deathkorps Imperial Guard versus friend's Deathwing, think it was late 3rd ed or early 4th
>Knocks out all of my arty with teleportan in
>third turn, all that's left is Commissar Kadov and one of my Grenadier squads
>fuck it, charge
>my gods, all those wounds and failed armor saves
>hold out until turn six, ending the game with the Commissar, the squad Sarge, two hellgunners, and the flamethrower
>killed 18 terminators
>medals for everyone

>> No.11200307


Why, thank you kind sir!

>> No.11200320

>WW2 game
>Three Shermans
>Enemy King Tiger
>Oh damnit
>Single Sherman takes out the King Tiger in two shots anyways.

Made in the US of A, motherfucker.

>> No.11200332

>>35 pt Kaelyssa vs Sriker, 2nd turn and he's close.
>>I say zog it and charge my Mage hunter up the middle of his army past 5 units
>>Every single free strike missed
>> Mage hunter one shots Striker
>>Only kill of the game was striker, feels good man

>> No.11200367

One hand over your eyes swinging wildly with the other. I've never seen anything like it since then.

>> No.11200390

> play Necrons VS Eldar
> Eldar infiltrates Striking Scorpions near my destroyers
> Eldar starts if i roll a 1 on a D6 roll
> I roll a 1 on the D6 roll
> Striking Scorpions ShootKillStabs 2 of the 5 destroyers, my destroyers gibbs his exarch in CC
> 3 surviving destroyers hold op his SS for the nest 4 turns no casualties either way.
> Lost match but opponent and I decided to swap some bits for us to put on some of the SS and on my 3 destroyers as reminders of that epic CC fight.

>> No.11200400

>>WFB, 6th ed, Hordes of Chaos vs Ogre Kingdoms.
>>Bloodthirster charges a unit of 20 Goblars
>>8 WS10 S7 attacks
>>hits with 1, fails to wound
>>S2 Gnoblars can't wound the T6 deamon
>>Gnoblars outnumber and have three ranks, I loose by 4
>>instability roll 10, 700pts greater deamon sent back to Realm of Chaos by 80pts of cannon fodder.


>> No.11200410

>Everyone trips on their shoe laces.

>> No.11200414

Those SS sure do know their stuff.

>> No.11200461

Clearly the gobbos were channeling the Emprah

>> No.11200466


suck for the suck god

>> No.11200491

Just wait, now in 8th they get more attacks AND can wound the fucker. So the 'thrister being torn to shreads by cannon fodder is even more likely.

>> No.11200512


Have you seen the current 'Thirsters? They eat armies and poop out real awesome of the Blood God. And with the 8th rulebook they also get the thunderstomp now.

>> No.11200518

>Position my Falcon to prevent enemy charging my wraithguard
>Wraithguard shoot at landraider, do nothing
>Falcon is charged at, losses all 3 weapons
>next turn Falcon 24' rams Land Raider, wrecks it
>Falcon is only shaken and survives the game

>> No.11200538


Lol, it's like wrecking a Hummer with a Mercedes Smart:)

>> No.11200556

Oh yeah, they are good. And I'm saying that one getting eaten by 2 point models is LIKELY. Just that they are more vulnerable to swarms of shit dudes now than they were before.

>> No.11200625

WFB Chaosfag again

>>Exalted Hero of Khorne on Jugger
>>already killed a unit of Empire Knights, units of handgunners,a Captain, a Grand Master and lots of Greatswords
>>charges a unit of Helbardiers, killed by their champion in one turn

I gues I shouldn't play Khorne anymore

>> No.11200631

>Playing Gaurd against Thousand Sons
>All enemy models are tzeentchy except Kharn
>Kharn charges one of my russes and destroys all guns except one h-bolter
>melta vets that he should have charged shoot him dead
>two turns later a junior command with a commissar charge Ahriman and take him down... without suffering a single casualty

>> No.11200633

>five scouts with shotguns fire on CSM squad
> all but two miss
>CSM gets two failed armour saves
>scouts proceed in this fashion to kill ten CSM a sorcerer and two terminators

my face, I now love scouts

>> No.11200743

Never seen Scouts go that well. Mine always sit back with sniper rifles

>> No.11200820

if fantasy is allowed

>yesterday my first 8th ed game my lizardmen against some beastmen
>beastmen mage turns into a dragon but we have nothing to represent it
>outside our club we find a kiten, it gets used as a dragon
>and lolz were had by all

>> No.11200825

>Mephiston in apoc with Legion Relic
>Munches through 2 Marine Command Squads and 2 Russes (same turn, multi assault)
>Takes about 7500pts 3 turns of shooting to take him down.
>When taken down, counts as an extra objective for our side
>Breaks objective tie, win 4-3

Take that, fucker.

>> No.11200841

neither have i but in the end they had nothing to do but charge the termis.
but the held out until the last turn also cool

>> No.11200865



>> No.11200896

dawwww...I hope one of you took it home

>> No.11200921


Would you take a freaking beastmen dragon home?

>> No.11200975

Also it was a kitten.
Unless anon typoed

>> No.11201011

Daemons are quite balanced just a high tier army at the moment with everyone being able to strike back regardless of casualties.

>> No.11201019

>wraithlord charges a unit of thousand sons with sorc lord.
>All have S4. Cannot hurt wraithlord
>Sorc lord has gift of chaos
>Wraithlord rolls a 6

>> No.11201022

Guard vs Necron
my valkyrie has used all its ordanance, and is now staring across the board at a monolith shit sucks.
decide fuck it ram the bastard.
full 24inch run up, pens, explodes. epic. he rolls to kill me needs a 2 to glance rolls 1. more epic.

>> No.11201060

ignore glance bit it auto pen'd and rolled 1 my bad

>> No.11201064

And you're telling me that the Bloodthirster in Obsidian armour and with this flaming blade however it's called is now LESS cheesy, after giving him additional d6 s6 attacks due to thunderstopm?

>> No.11201067

Epic Sir you win my interwebs... Capt America Aproves

>> No.11201080

4-player game. Bugs, Beakies, Dark Panzies, Orkses (yes, I'm the orkses). Trukk Mob's trukk gets blown up, Mob has to hoof it to melee. Mob gets shot to hell by 2 squads of Dark Eldar warrior, then charged by one. Only the ork nob survives with 1 wound. The ork nob makes his break test, next turn's combat, ork nob causes 2 casualties, takes NO wounds, Dark Eldar player rolls boxcar on LD test, breaks, ork nob RUNS THEM DOWN and kills them. DE player shoots at him with second squad of shooting - no kill. Ork nob manages to get to melee the next round, ROUTS THEM AND RUNS THEM DOWN. One ork nob with one wound: 20 dead dark eldar. (this was back in I think 4th ed where "running them down" was an autokill for the squad)

Similarly, in a 2nd ed game, I managed to try to fire a squig catapult, but instead managed to launch a gretchin crewman... it landed dead on a Dark Reaper and killed him. Highly entertaining.

>> No.11201083

Correct if wrong, but iirc they are not attacks, but autohits instead?

>> No.11201160

What are the rules for launching gretchins?

>> No.11201195

They are, but it really isn't that big of a deal because the unit can attack back now and will most likely be steadfast. He can't solo units without many turns of combat now.

>> No.11201263

Roll Leadership to aviod D'AAWWWWWWW!

>> No.11201267

Boxcars, oh shit!

>> No.11201336

it was wearing a collor so we assumend it belonged to a neighbor

>> No.11201345

̲͉͓̠̗̳̙̲͈̝̘̞ͅ ̸̃̾ͫ͊̓̋͒͏̭͉͎͍̫̪ȩ̶̹̙̭̣ͦ͆̒ͨ̆̾̀̾͗͌ͣ̑̇̆̾͐̕͞͡n̍̐̓̈͊͌̃̂̐
̠͓̘̠ ̸̡̧̜̭̘͍͖̹̜̩̜̭̮̲̘̗͚̼̩͓͈̑̾̄͋̌͂͌ͭͯ̌̾̑ͫ̚͜ŗ̸̋̇̓͗̿ͦ̀͋͊̒͑
̲̲̘̪͓̯̯͙̺̮̠̟͙ṁ̵̮͉̪͚̯͍̣̣̞̯͕̺̬̱̱̟̳̗͌́̐͋̓́̋̓̚͘ͅ ̇̈͐̿̌͗ͦ̑́̓ͩ̓͂̒̇̃͏̨̬̘̰̘̙̻̫̖̜̹̳͖̮͕̕i̸̢̯̬͎̒͒̄̇ͨ̅ͦ̌̃̆̇̀
̳̮̖̫̳̜͈͎͙̘̗̜͔͈̠̱s̪̫̩̪̠̬͕̗͗͗͆͗̃ͧ̀̍ͧ̌͗͊͒̽̇̓͜ͅ ̻̰̖̩̮̺̀ͣ̒̃̀͞͡f̷̝̻̟͙̭̮̫̥̣̣͈͙̒ͫ͑̀̂̕͞͠į͔̰͎͔̑̈͑̊̅̓̑͑͜͠
̝͚ ͦ͛̾ͨ̓͟͝͏̨̖̝͉̦̫͕̦̠̞̜̟͎̲̦̭͓̦͟ͅw̷̷̞̞̗̼̄͂̋͋͑̇ͦ͗ͥ͞iͯ̈̌ͦ̊
̩͔̦̺̟́ ͗͑͆̿͐̓ͦ̉̔ͫ҉͏͔͍̲̞̳̤̙͚̗͕Z̵̶̈̒̅̏͐̋ͦ͐̆ͭ̚͟҉͕̣͎̰͍̟̲͈̹̻͠a͊

>> No.11201361

Oh, good.

>> No.11201424


Currently, sadly, there are none. In 2nd ed, my squig catapult misfired, and I rolled the result which was "launch a crewman." Then I rolled "Hit" on the scatter die, a 6 to wound, and the Eldar player failed his armor save. Dark Reaper fell to ground with a gobbo imbedded in his chest.

>> No.11201485

Well, there is the Zap guns myriad failure modes

>> No.11201591

rolled 6, 17 = 23

>Playing Ultramarines vs. Ulthwé
>Deploy Scouts Infiltrating in cover up front
>Turn one Suicide-Charge Howling Banshee squad
>Wipe out Howling Banshees in a turn of CC, one casualty.
>Sweep into Seer Council
>Rout Seer Council next turn, chase them off the board.

>> No.11201612

Fucking A

>> No.11201633

holy shi-

>> No.11201754

It was IG vs SM, I played IG, I managed to get my Chimera with front melta right next to his Land Raider:
>I failed to hit LR
>his turn
>my Chimera got hit by his LR, turret lost
>his SM Captain fires his combimelta and the same chimera, lost my front gun
>my turn, no guns, but still mobile, fuck it, LETS DO THIS
>I managed to run over SM Captain and he failed his Death or Glory
>LR is now stuck between two canyon edges (impassable terrain) and my chimera blocks him off from moving further into the map
>his turn, he hit my chimera and WRECKED it
>my face when he can't move his only tank and my troops got cover from its fire through the rest of the battle
I still lost this game as his Termies dropped next to my guardsmen and tore them new assholes, but it was the moment that got me into 40k.

>> No.11201759

I am an Iron Warriors player but I once played a guard proxy army against Spasse Mahreens for fun. Had tons of artillery and granade launchers, mortars, I was totaly spamming templates.


Every single one of like 30 templates of various source land 1-2inches in front of the Astartes line. Not one marine is hit.

There was almost nothing left of my forces by turn 3.

>> No.11203456

playing necrons versus tyranids
opponent charges 3 destroyers with30 hormogaunts
i kill 2 he kills none
i win combat and run him down

>> No.11203516

ITT people are bragging about lucky rolls.

>> No.11203532


This always happens to me. I am great at rolling 1s.

>> No.11203534

Playing as eldar, 2nd edition deploy forces into cover 10-11" onto the board, almost to the limit of my deployment zone.
he gets first turn, callidus assassin turns up next to my farseer, is held off in combat.
first psychic phase, i cast ghost attack with three cards at his terminators... roll badly and get no kills.
he uses 'warp attack' on me in response - roll 1, my farseer dies.
as seer was general, everybody within a certain distance - half my army - must take morale check.
every unit bar three vypers (vehicles so immune) fail check.
As callidus assassin is sharing the cover with them, they can't take cover and must run.
every unit tolls high enough to run off the board edge.
start 2nd turn with my entire left flank gone bar three vypers

>> No.11203567

>10 combat squadded sternguards in a drop pod
>land right between 30 boy mob and a deffdread
>down deffdread and 27 boyz

>> No.11203568

>4 bikes destroy Land Rider
And not a single wound was taken.

>> No.11203586

IG vs Blood Angles.
>> Furioso Librarian Dreadnought thing drops behind my HQ
>> Fucks up his Psychic blast thing.
>> Next turn I fire my Plasma pistol at him, hits, no damage.
>> I charge.
>> Power fist so he swings first.
>> One hit, Insta' death, deflected by retractor field.
>> Roll 3 attacks, two hit, one pins, roll a 5.
>> My face when my Company Commander riped the head off a Dreadnought.

>> No.11203611

>My Dark Eldar vs Blood Angels
>Opponent has three Land Raiders, three Baal Predators, and a bunch of Assault Marines
>Constantly gloats and boasts about how fucked I am as I deploy my Raiders and Ravagers
>I win first turn
>Look him in the eyes
>"AV14? My Dark Lances don't care."
>Table him by turn three, lose a Raider, four Warriors, and three Wyches.
>My face

>> No.11203651

A guy i met who played dark eldar said he loved them for one reason: It's always a slaughter, either they get slaughtered, or the enemy does.

>> No.11203665

It's been a while, but one moment I remember
>Eldar vs my Tau
>Maugun Ra assaults a six-man fire warrior squad
>Shas'Las beat him to death with pulse rifle butts

Pity I can't remember more context to my Shas'O passing 6 invulnerables in one round of combat with a daemon prince.

>> No.11203746

>my orcs and goblins vs wood elves
>my lone big boss with bashas blood axe get assaulted by a branch wraith and a fuck ton of dryads
>have to roll two saves in a 6 or he'll die
>double 6
>he proceeds to kill the branch wraith and runs the rest of them down and off the map
>comes back in my turn
>glade gaurds within charge range

>> No.11203763

>4th edition IG infantry/ HW team company facing off against Khorne caos army.
>used up 4 rounds shooting down hi troops and vehicles, ignored huge Forge world greater demon.
>bottom of round 4 demon about to do the consolidation dance through the entire army and nothing left to fire at him, except las guns.
>60 shots later the greater demon of Khorn is killed by pvt snuffy, the last guy to shoot.

>> No.11203767

Too many to remember, but here goes...

>Six harlies with two fusion pistol shoots a Baneblade that hadn't had a since scratch in the whole game. Fuckhuge explosion kills most of my army.

>IG sarge survived two turns in melee against ten necrons in close combat and killed four of them.

>Hormagaunt destroyed a Land Raider (rend. mutant)

>After eight turns my Venerable destroys a revenant titan in close combat. The same dred later destroyed a Holo-Falcon with missiles. Our group adopted a new battleshout ''Creeeeew Shakeeeeeee!".

>Best for the last: Apocalypse, the opponent had a Major Possessed as asset, so I asked the another guy (Tau) to choose one of his heroes. He chose his ethereak. I trew +3. I gave a bitchslap to the Ethereal and replaced him with Greater Daemon An'ggrath. Their faces were epic.


>> No.11203882


>> No.11203890

>Dark Elf Highborn on foot Challenged by High Elf Prince on a Dragon
>Reveal she has Armour of Darkness and Pendant of Kaeleth, neither Prince nor Dragon does a damn thing to her.
>Hacks the Dragon's head off in one turn with Crimson Death.
>Kills the Prince next turn
>230 point Dark Elf kills a Dragon and High Elf Prince totalling over 600 points.
>My face when my opponent throws a tantrum.

>> No.11203933

Two stories, none 40k tabletop

First, DoW1

>playing with bro, I'm IG, he's SM, 2v2, enemies random, big map
>I'm slightly faster, do some recon GODDAMMIT IT'S NECRONS
>am close to giving up, but decide to go on while bro goes on
>invest all resources into 3 guardsquads with komissars, KEEP FIRING, WALL OF FLESH AND BONE ARRRGHHH
>bro gets attacked by necrons, wait a minute GODDAMN THE OTHER ENEMY IS NECRONS TOO
>I finish off the first enemy just as the necrons destroy my bros base, turns out he sent a single servitor to my base while losing, sets up provisional camp
>I redeploy, have some hellhounds, use satellite recon OH JESUS THEY AWAKENED THE MONOLI- oh wait no
>bro still fixing his shit, trying to take back the points at his base
>I try to attack the crons, fail, they attack bro, he holds ground
>I repair force, build basilisks, attack a second time FULL WIPE
>I repair force a third time, bro gets huge tacspam together, basilisks ready to shoot 2 earthshakers
>Insane losses, victory

I was about to tableflip 3 times. Best. Game. Ever.

Finally, a game close to my heart, coughinfinitycough:

>150, defalut ariadna list vs aleph
>I manage to lose 4/7 units in first turns to two tanks
>3 orders, first time trying VetKaz with xvisor and T2
>Shoot at tank, instant unconscious, move move, move shoot at second tank, instant unconscious
>70% uncon in one turn

>> No.11203946

>Mycetic Spore Carnifex about to wreck my marine's shit.
>Only thing that can hurt it is the TL Assault Cannon Razorback
>Razorback hits with all four shots
>All four shots are rending

My face.

>> No.11203972

>tau vrs orks
>painboy charges in for close combat
>cant land a hit
>fire warrior squad man up and take him down in close combat

>> No.11204004

>Korsarro Khan Charges a 6 man squad of fire warriors

>> No.11204027

>Banshees about to charge Necron unit just come out of the portal of his Monolith
>Friend fires monolith pie plate
>Scatter, 11 inches, back in the direction of monolith
>Right on top of said monolith
>Monolith explodes, taking half the nearby necron squad with it


>> No.11204039

>Trygon immobilizes my Devilfish
>6 Fire warriors pop out
>they kill the Trygon

>> No.11204056

if i was the nid player

>> No.11204076

>Mass of Fireknife Crisis Suits against a Mechdar opponent.
>Wall of Kroot circling Fireknifes
>Opponent is planning to mass-tankshock me off board.
>Lots of jump-shoot-jump dickery, with Kroot assaulting Eldar units to finish them off.

Just like the chariot fight in Gladiator.

>> No.11204137

>Devastator squad gets raped up the ass by an eldar rangers (really bad rolls)
>Left with a single, pinned RL marine
>20 man storm guardian squad assaults
>Devastator mans the fuck up and stands to fight
>Armor saves against 16 wounds
>Manages to kill a guardian
>Guardians fail their ld test and fallback
>Devastator rolls a 6 against the guardian's 2 in the ensuing initiative test
>Next turn, RL marine fires a krak missile into the Ranger's ruin
>Roll 6 for armor penatration; ruin collapses
>all 5 rangers die
>My face

>> No.11204215

>Orks vs. Orks

>My Freeboota Boss (pic related) and his nobs charge enemy warboss' slugga mob.

>Combat goes terrible for me, nobz wiped out, Admural is down to one wound, but so is enemy warboss

>Admural Flees combat, other warboss attempts pursuit, fails

>Admural torches warboss with kombi-skorcha whilst running away

>Kills warboss


>> No.11204230

Hur hur hur. 'e ment ta do dat.

Nice conversion job, too.

>> No.11204231

>Termagants with Devourers fire at Tactical Squad
>Everyone passes their armor save *except* the Powerfist Sergeant.
>Carnifex charges.
>My face.

Problem, Astartes?

>> No.11204250

Another one

>Kommando mob sneaks around the back, rapes a chaos marine squad in the turn they arrive.

>Massive barrage of chaos fire eliminates all but one kommando, who has a rokkit (pic related, Kommando antimaterial rifles).

>Kommando slowly flees across the board, destroying 3 chaos rhinos along the way, and finally escapes


>> No.11204265

Cheers. Here's annuder.

>> No.11204281

Wait, do Devs have some special rule that forces opponents to take a LD check if they lose any models? Because from what I can see you're saying a Dev killed single guy out of a squad of 20 and then that squad took a LD check and failed.

Also, I thought models with heavy weapons couldn't fight in close combat.

>> No.11204283

>Fielding the Deceiver
>Lysander+Bolter Drilling Sternguard Drop pod up his ass
>Twin-Linked Rapidfiring wounds-on-a-2+ shots
>Deceiver exploders, killing all the Sternguard and putting a wound on Lysander.
>Feels good, man.

>> No.11204286

Dumping conversions with more ork stories.

>Playing Orks vs. Chaos demons.
>Maxed out overkill Flashgit unit is hunkered down in a trukk, blasting away at anything in range
>Demon prince out of fucking nowhere
>Kills every flash git, including Badrukk during first combat.
>Painboy(motherfucker in the pic) wrecks his shit immediately after.

Job's a good'un.

>> No.11204325

>Orks vs. Grey knights
>Two shoota trukkmobs racing around raising hell.
>Opponent tries to deepstrike his GK Grand master with all the trimmings + his terminator bodyguard near enough to wipe out a trukk
>Scatters onto a lone slugga boy
>Suffers mishap, unit destroyed
>Shoota trukks survive till the end, GK's totally wiped off the board.

>> No.11204364

Playing Sisters v. Space Marines
Cannoness marches right up to a Dreadnaught, Eviscorator in hand.
Stabs through the Dreadnaught, killing the man inside.
Hell yeah.

>> No.11204393

Salamanders v. Blood Angels in a Space Marine bitchfest. Vulkan He'Stan goes up against Sanguinary Guard and kills every single one of them before they even get the chance to roll, in an image that can only be described as him whirling his spear around and through several bodies.

>> No.11204394

One more for the road

>Orks vs. Redemptionist-themed guard
>Good cover for both sides, lots of shooting, few casualties.
>Freebootafex makes a break across no-man's land
>Entire guard army focus fires it
>No penetrating hits, no glancing hits
>'Bootafex charges command unit, decimates it and proceeds to chew through another 4 units before being brought down.

>> No.11204400

Pic of head. Ok I'm out.

>> No.11204404

Razorspam Space Wolves vs Meltavet Guard. Lots of tanks vs lots of tanks. Oh, and he had 3 Vendettas too...

I won by attritioning him dead. Multilazors aren't too reliable against Razorbacks. Lascannons vs Chimeras are though. Once we both lost most our vehicles, it turned into an infantry slapfight...Space Wolfs win.

>> No.11204414

>Crippled mob of slugga boyz gets charged by SM dread
>Krumps two, only Nob and one boy left
>Nob rolls weapon destroyed with his klaw,rip off the DCCW
>Kill remaining boy with bosspole to pass LD test for losing combat
>Dread does one wound with its now mere S6 attack
>Nob swings dread's own arm at it to blow it up

>> No.11204420

you go to the bar, nobody cares about you, you talk to girls and they laugh and leave you alone.

you go back to your house and paint minis, diluting paint in your tears

>> No.11204423

what does your salamander list look like?

>> No.11204450



>> No.11204455

It's a Sallies/Sisters list, actually, but at 1000 pts (what we were playing) it's all Salamandes. I'm still retooling my list a bit and don't remember exactly what I brought to this particular game, but I'm pretty sure I at least had Vulkan and termies in a rhino and 2 units of marines.

>> No.11204463

>Necrons vs Tau
>Puts a Warrior squad near short egde.
>Suddenly Kroot! Thousands of them.

>Top of Turn 2: Tied Combat
>Bottom of Turn 2: Tied Combat
>Top of Turn 3: Tied Combat
>Bottom of Turn 3: Tied Combat
>Top of Turn 4: Tied Combat
>Bottom of Turn 4: Tied Combat
>Top of Turn 5: Tied Combat
>Bottom of Turn 5: Tied Combat

Who the FUCK said close combat was supah deadly this edition?

>> No.11204465

It would either have to be a Drop Pod or Land Raider. Termies can't ride in Rhinos.

>> No.11204472

Married, sorry bro. nice attempt though.

>> No.11204474

Land Raider sounds right. Like I said, it was a while ago.

>> No.11204483

Unless you and your boyfriend both field armies.

>> No.11204499

>Fielding generic Necron army of 2 squads of troops, monolith, necron lord but also some destroyers (2k)
>Opponent is Ork with a lot of bikers, sends them down the middle of the board while sending a truck with his warboss on the left edge of the board.
>One squad of necrons follows suit with the warboss, takes out the trukk, all the boyz inside but the boss, another truck behind it, and then after a long hard battle the warboss himself.

>lose game because of shit rolls for the other squad of warriors, monolith, and lord against the bikers.

But damn, just watching that single squad of necrons obliterate half of his army. Feels good man.

>> No.11204513

>this thread

I've got one as well:

>500pt game
>Ultramarines vs White Dwarf PDF Blood Angels
>All that's left is a Dread and a 5-man Tac squad (UM) vs Lemartes+1 DC and 5-man Assault Squad (BA)
>Dread charges Lemartes+DC, splats Lemartes
>DC makes 3 attacks
>1 hit
>Blows up Dread without dying as Assault squad cleans up

>> No.11204520

>Playing Bretonnians Vs Chaos Warriors
>Aim Trebuchet at Mounted Chaos Warrior unit with Chaos Lord.
>Template scores a hit with the hole right on top of the Lord's Head.
>Wounds on 2+, causes d6 wounds, no armour save, doesn't have ward save.
>Rolls 1 to wound.

>Playing Tau Vs Necrons
>Puts his Lord with teleporter thing at front of army.
>Plans to teleport Immortals around to fuck shit up.
>Get first turn. First shot: Railgun round instagibs the Lord.
>He quits, doesn't help me clean up.

>> No.11204534


man, that would be seriously the best situation possible.

>> No.11204537

Why wasn't the Lord attached to the Immortals?

>> No.11204559

>4th ed my Orkz versus Space Marines, first game with the new Ork codex
>Vindicator nukes a squad, only guy left is a boy with a rokkit launcha
>His squad is not broken
>Fires at the Land Raider, 6 to hit
>6 to pen, gets a glance
>6 on the table, LR explodes
>Rokkit boy dies in explosion
>Manly tears by all nearby

>> No.11204580

Fantasy Moment.

>Empire vs. Warriors of Chaos 2000 pts.
>Chaos led by level 4 Tzeentch Lord
>Friend/enemy deploys him outside of unit (presumably for mobility)
>I send Captain mounted on Pegasus straight at the Sorcerer on the flank of his army.
>Second turn, I steal a random spell from Sorcerer with the Captain's item.
>Get Flickering Fire
>Cast FF as a bound spell in my magic phase
>He fails his dispel
>6 Strength 7 hits.


>> No.11204596

'e knew da risks when 'e took da job.

>> No.11204629

> SoB vs IG
> Two squads, two rhinos, one Cannoness
> Lose both squads to flashlights!
> Enough of this! CANNONESS CHARGE
> Kill squad of Conscripts, solo
> Take 10 lasrifle wounds next round, made save
> Charge, kill Platoon Leader
> Take 130 Lasrifle wounds!
> Charge, kill CO, Cannoness drowns in flashlights next round
> Feels Emprah Man

>> No.11204635

Fantasy moment from 7th ed

>2250 pts, Empire vs High Elves
>High Elf player has Tyrion and a Dragon Prince unit. He also has a Spearman Unit
>I have a unit of 5 Knights, and a Steam Tank.
>Unit of Knights flanks Spearmen, but they hold.
>Tyrion attacks knights, kills 2 but they hold. (having killed some more Spearmen).
>Steam Tank hits Spearmen, nukes them.
>CR transfers through knights to Tyrion.
>Tyrion flees like a bitch, is Run Down.

Problem Elves?

>> No.11204644

>Dark Eldar vs Craftworld Eldar
>Archon on Jetbike charges into the Farseer Council
>Farseers can't break the Shadowfield, Archon's poor rolls only kill one Warlock per turn
>Avatar joins the melee
>Avatar fails leadership test from Archon's Hell Mask and fails to roll any 6's to hit her
>combat drags on like this for 6 turns of close combat (both of our individual turns)
>Archon finally fails her save against the Avatar and spaltters
>Remember why I call my Archon "Lucky"

>> No.11204652

>She (the Cannoness) now feels the Emprah's manhood.

>> No.11204655


Models with heavy weapons can fight in CC just like any other model. They just can't launch an assault after firing a heavy weapon.

The Ld test was a morale check for losing the assault. It seems the eldar failed the check and were caught in a sweeping advance by a marine with a bolt pistol and balls of steel.

>> No.11204713

>My Orks vs Tau
>Tau player moves agressively to get units into range
>Orks take insane losses going in, more from PK'ed tanks exploding
>Stealth Suits beats ork mob in H2H, wipes out
>Ork Nob unit with Warboss gets into H2H
>Win game with 1 Nob on home objective, 1 Nob on Tau objective, 1 Warboss and 1 Deffkopta left
>1 Tau Commander and 1 damaged Hammerhead left on Tau side
>My face

>> No.11204771

>Chaos Marines vs. Space Wolves
>Epic fail on all my reserve rolls
>Watch as my units slowly get chewed up
>Abaddon finally comes in turn 4
>Slaughters 22 Blood Claws and a Dreadnaught before finally succumbing

This a commonly agreed upon epic moment at my LGS. Also typical Abaddon...

>> No.11204817

>IG vs Orks
>I play valkyrie veterans
>Game is a fucking carnage
>Start of turn six, all there is left are a guardsman locked in combat with an ork boy on the middle of the board.
>Both survives, no-one breaks.
>Game was capture and hold.

That was fucking epic. We couldn't believe our eyes.

>> No.11204830

It is pretty cool- I love the game now, even if he did pretty much drag me into it kicking and screaming.

>> No.11204920

>Brother Captain Stern teleports away from main drop site. (Damnit stern~!)
>Lands out in open courtyard.
>Over 100 lasguns decide to rapid fire in his face.
>Dies by two wounds.


>> No.11204934

>4th edition 40k
>Venerable Dreadnought charges my Archon
>Misses with all attacks
>Agonise has a special rule letting it glance a vehicle on a six. Shrug, roll my 6 attacks.
>All hit. One glance.
>Roll a 6 - Destroyed.
>Opponent requests it re-rolled
>Another six
>Ancient, heroic Space Marine Dreadnought killed by a half-naked Space Elf with a giant cattle prod.

God, I love Dark Eldar.

>> No.11204940


That's so fucking unfair. I played with a friend's space marine army once, and my 5 terminator squad got butchered by 10 orks shooting me with shootas >=|

>> No.11205038

Reminded me of that slut patrol comic with the one space marine killing all those eldars.

>> No.11205117


That's cool.

Except that you can't kill a vehicle with a single glance.

>> No.11205157

In 4th ed you could. No -2 on the table for glances. A 6 was Destroyed - Wrecked, IIRC

>> No.11205510



>> No.11205538

>>Karn kills everything

>> No.11205637

>play a daemonbombing list for fun against Inquisition
>no daemons in C:CSM have the daemon special rule
>outflank with 3 chosen groups, sniping 2 valkyries with the single melta guns they have
>daemonbomb some of his guardsmen, slaughter them
>get charged on objective by arco flagellants
>keep rolling successful 5+ invulnerable saves till my zerkers can come and clean them up.


>> No.11205767

Playing Nids vs BA vs CSM vs Tau
CSM guy charges my front line, blows right through it.
Termie squad rushes Zoanthropes.
One Zoanthrope survives, bites a Terminator in half and kills it.

Another game, Nids vs CSM
Entier army BRUTALLY DESTROYED by plasma and las weapon fire, turn 2.
Except Zoanthrope Squad.
Zoanthrope squad toughs it out for TWO TURNS of THE ENTIRE CSM SHOOTING AND ASSAULTS.
My Blasts and Lances miss every damn mark.
Zoanthrope Assaults & Kills Deamon Prince.

Named single Zoanthrope "Bitey"

My gaming group now fears "Bitey" because he's the Zoanthrope that apparently wanted to be a Warrior, and just says 'fuck it, I'll work with this bitch'. He's been a marked model ever since and he has chewed through terminators, berzerkers, Deamon Princes and will take any amount of abuse.

>> No.11205890

Marines vs. Necrons
>Vindicator in range to fuck his warriors up
>his turn to shooting
>tries to pieplate my vindi, his most hated nemesis...
>scatters. badly...
>right on top of my land raider.
>land raider fucking explodes.
>cue pissed off marines exiting
>pic related
yea. but hey, I assaulted the monolith with my thunder hammers and tink-tink-tinked it to death.

>> No.11206081

>Spacemarines vs orks
>Literally first time playing 40k
>Ork player asks if he can use forgeworld and upon agreeing, proceeds to produce a megadredd
>his turn first, uses cannon to halve all 3 of my 10man squads. devastating
>my first turn, squad 1, missile launcher, krak missile, roll triple 6. goodbye dredd
Don't mess with Tarkus

>> No.11206819

BA vs Demons (me BA)

>Demon prince assaults my predator
>fails to do anything
>predator reverses 1 inch to tank shock prince
>prince dies

Fucking awesome.

>> No.11207187

I have three.

>My SM vs Eldar
>Combat squad with lascannon has been rolling utter shit all game
>About to be tank shocked off of the board by a Falcon, elect to Death of Glory
>Lascannon marine hits, penetrates, and the vehicle explodes

"Ooooh! The safety was on!"

>Same game as last
>Captain's Sternguard squad killed off, gets the charge against a Wraithlord
>Over two turns, proceeds to beat the ever living shit out of it with a Thunder Hammer
>Then charges into an Avatar of Khaine. Loses, but still awesome.

>My SM vs. CSM
>Captain and Sternguard squad huddling behind cover next to a Chaos Predator
>Captain fires a krak grenade, hits, penetrates, and destroys the vehicle.
>Was planning on charging it with a thunder hammer+power fist in the squad.

>> No.11207655

>First time Chaos Vs IG
>Squad of Bezerkers is flanked by leman Russes and reduced to their Skull Champion (Sergent) with power fist
>Charges Valkyrie in last ditch effort to wreck something
>penetrates and rolls 6 on vehicle damage
>Skull Champion survives explosion
>My face on the right, opponents on the left

>> No.11207988

Infinity, not 40k. Sorry!
>First game of Infinity ever
>My Haqqislam vs ALEPH
>Split forces across map, 3 at top, 3 at bottom
>Enemy concentrates forces at top
>Myrmidon with CC17 and AP CCW runs into my Djanbazan & buddy (don't remember the unit type) hiding behind boxes, shooting does nothing
>Close Combat stalls, amazingly
>Djanbazan retreats to a wall just within first Move range and shotguns the CC
>Misses, hits ally, shot bounces off ally's armor
>Next turn, Myrmidon kills ally, victory-moves to Djanbazan
>Shooting fails, Myrmidon gets in CC
>Djabazan wins CC on enemy turn
>On my turn, Lt. Special Order to coup de grace. "I'm the Lieutenant!"
Felt good man. Though I did end up losing that match rather badly.

>> No.11208691

Orkz versus Wolves Seige the castle game

Bjorn bursts out of the wall and charges towards ancient relic Gitstompa da Boss dread

Gitstompa falls, WAAAGGHH is called in revenge everyone nearby charges him

5nobz with big choppas, klaws, and a painboy break off an arm, fail to do anything

15 man ork boy unit's klaw misses


Notice i still have a Boy with a Tankhammer left..rollan..6, 6, ,6 FUCK YEAH

Repaint him and add space wolf icons to his shoulder pad

Also, same game

6 Flash gitz + Painboy, Shootier, / More dakka

"Snipe" Njal the stormcaller AND Rockfist from the castle walls

That game made me love 40k again

>> No.11208717

>Friend has entire Eldar army in a nice ambush position
>Move my Space Wolves Lone Wolf right into his trap
>No wounds
>Proceed to rape everything
Fucking Lu Bu in terminator armor.

>> No.11209813

40k is loveable for the most lopsided moments.

I was getting a bit bored of 40k, but this thread changed my mind. Can't wait for my game on thursday.

>> No.11209824


>> No.11209854

Op here
>Start Thread last night
>Enjoy the fun lopsided stories
>Go to bed way too late, expect this thread to be dead
>Find it floating up to the front page

>> No.11209964

Necrons Vs CSM.
>Monolith in Gauss flux range on two rhinos and a 3 man Oblit cult.
> Roll a 1 one the number of hits
> Kill the 3 man Oblit squad and immobilise the two rhinos.

>> No.11209982

> Vanilla marines vs Nids
> Tac squad gets outta rhino to double-trouble some Zoanthropes
> shit ton of wounds, but FFF 3+ invul saves. only deal 1 wound.
>thropes ap3 my squad, leaving powerfist sgt.
> roll double 1's for leadership
> proceed to kill 600 points of Nids with one bro.

i fucking love 40k

>> No.11210078

>kill team game
>first time I have ever played Tau
>fuckload of Orks charging at one of my Firewarriors who is hiding in the woods
>he survives a flamer, takes out two Orks
>rest of Fire Warriors mow down the rest of the Orks
>Tau.... won... what?

>> No.11210177

>Necrons Vs SMs
>Third turn, his pimped assault squad has just wrecked a poorly placed warrior squad
>Get worried about phase out
>Intercept with wraith wing,ties him up
>One turn later hes down to his chaplain and a few others, Warscythe and phase shifted destroyer lord dives into combat

>> No.11210187

If fantasy counts.
>playing a special event for release of new edition. Fit as many models on your rulebook as possible, that's what you use
>drag out entire skryre army
>screaming bell included
>me and chaos slaanesh bro in a last stand against vampire counts
>ratling gun gets in range to fire
>roll a 3
>roll another 3. Misfire!
>roll a 1
>ratling gun blows up
>everyone laughs
I love skaven, because sometimes this happens and you can't help but to giggle.

>> No.11210207

>Spess Mahreenz vs Necrons
>Last turn, rhino tank shock + a tactical squad doing serious fuckbusting = warriors running like hell.
>They do not run off of the table, just to the edge of it.
>I lose

>> No.11210356

> Playing Eldar v Eldar.
> He plays straight up mech, I play a weird infantry/mech-list. I expect to get raped as usual.
> Destroy two Serpents and a Falcon turn 1.
> Destroy his last Serpent turn 2, shake his War Walkers.
> Destroy War Walkers on turn 3.
> Haven't lost anything. Has Seer Council and Banshees in transports.
> Revenge, brother.

>> No.11210421

>spearhead tourney
>plasma his terminator spam off board
>enemy brings out tower of skulls superheavy from reserve
>Face getting raped, Tower of skulls proceeds to murderize everything I have on board
>Single surviving veteran guardsman with meltabomb charges it
>Chain reaction-chain reaction-chain reaction Fucking boom!
>single veteran lives, takes the big objective
>game ends turn five, I win tourney
>Veteran renamed chuck norris

enemy's face

>> No.11210490

>Playing Tau vs. SM
>Assault Terminators and Sternguard have completely wrecked my shit and I am down to a single Crisis Suit that's about to be assaulted next turn for a complete wipeout.
>Fire Missile Pod and Plasma at squad of 3 termies
>3/4 hits, 3 wounds
>Watch SM player roll three ones
>Lose game but with 1 Kill point.

>> No.11210521

> Apocalypse; 3 eldar vs IG, SW & SoB
> Everything Eldar starts in reserve except my Seer Council
> Every Imperial unit - Warhound, Baneblade, Russes, Infantry, Vindicators, Basilisks, Devastators, etc - fire on the council.
> Every model dies, except Eldrad, who has one wound left.
> Eldrad flees off the table.
> Just as planned.

>> No.11210688

What a dick.

>> No.11210696

>Wearing socks.
>Try to slide on the polished wooden floor.
>Tailbone is in a fuckton of pain, so is arm.
>Got headache from the impact of the fall.
>See this thread.
>Feel better.

>> No.11210725

Never go full slide bro. Always skate.

>> No.11210797

>Spend 200-600 bucks.
>Realize how much money you spend on very few little plastic/metal figures.
>Realize they are absolutly useless in the zombie apoc.
>Realize they will forever set you apart from other humans as long as you own them.
>Realize most 40k players are dicks in general, and that the whole 40k thing is just aiming at your wallet, not your fun.
>Gift away army, never play again.

>> No.11210817

>Playing Empire vs Tomb Kings
>Casket of Souls hits two units of Knights, killing everyone, leaving only the attached Captain alive
>Lone Captain charges at enemy, killing entire unit of carrion swarm and Tomb Prince
>Charges casket, kills the bodyguards and Hierophant, avenges fallen comrades
>My face

>> No.11210854

>1850 points SM versus IG
>game ends on turn six with a single veteran sgt chasing a single tactical marine off the table
>best game ever

>> No.11210868

> IG vs SM
> Stormtroopers preform balls to the wall deep strike
> ST's unload, kill squad
> makes 46 armour saves and 10 cover saves
> kills last troop choice on enemy obj
> wins game

>> No.11211046

>Pendant of Kaeleth is a completely broken item
>I'm just finding this out now

>> No.11211081

>I play Tau.
>I won.
>My face.

>> No.11211103


>> No.11211149

>Field my tau
>listen to opponent gibber and twitch at paint job
>opponent loses because he staring at the bling

>> No.11211291

>Play Necrons vs Blood Angels.
>Lose 2 warrior squads to Assault Marines/Gabriel
>Destroy them in 2 turns in with deceiver
>Glance 2 dreadnoughts to death.
>He only has devastators and combat squads missle launchers left.
>3 lascannons all hit and wound deceiver making him go nuclear.
>Explosion goes 6 inches making me lose 14 warriors, and phase out, in what would have been a victory for me.

God Damnit

>> No.11211329

Playing DoW1.

>I'm Necrons, ally is Tau, I think the enemy team is SM and CSM.
>Ally tries to stealthsuit rush.
>Gets raped by detectors and flamers.
>He rage quits.
>Enemy masses armies.
>I take allies points(left clean by enemy for some reason.)
>Build fuckton of turrets.
>Scout sees them approaching.
>Meet them halfway, massive amounts of warriors and my Lord.
>They have assorted manspam armies.
>All my troops die.
>Orb of Ressurection.
>All warriors die a second time.
>Lord retreats into turrets.
>Turrets die.
>I'd been building flayed ones.
>Deep strike in the middle of them.
>They die, enemy army is STILL alive.
>Lord nearly dead.
>Turn into Nightbringer.
>Does good, turns back.
>Orb of ressurection again.
>Both warriors and flayed ones.
>Raep their shit.
>Monolith, teleports into their base.
>Kills said base.
>Lord and army attacks other guy, he rage quits.
>Image is how I feel.

>> No.11211404

So...How're you penning AV13 on a Walker with a S6 weapon?

>> No.11211407

>Not me, but two friends, IG + Orks.
>Much mutual destruction.
> Ork PK Nobs, lead by a megaarmour warboss assaults the guardsmen through the wreckages of half a dozen tanks, both Ork and IG.
>Eventually combat boils down to one powerweapon sergeant against the 1 would warboss.
>manages to hit him
>Needs 6 to wound. Gets it, warboss fails invuln save, dead.
>sergeant runs forward, and gets hit by artillery, doesnt give a fuck.
>Two buggies drive at him. One difficult terrains and gets wrecked. The other misses him with it's rokkit
>Sergeant assaults buggie.
>6's to hit with a krak nade and gets it.
>Penetrates it and explodes it.
>Survives explosion.


>> No.11211419

wound, sorry.

>> No.11211615

> My Battlewagon Lootas have been pounding Eldar face into the pavement all game.
> His Warp Spiders arrive from reserve, fuck Battlewagon 1 in rear armour with Deathspinners.
Explosion kills 3 Lootas, who fail morale and run off table.
> Next round, shoot Lootas at Warp Spiders. Twelve hits, five wounds, all saved.
> Warp Spiders kill second Battlewagon with Deathspinners
> Same song, second verse
> I still win, but pic related.

>> No.11211667

> existance

>> No.11211704


Reacts to


but not to


>> No.11211705


His last dev survived the round and inflicted 1 casualty to the guardians, so they lost the combat and are forced to take a morale check at a -1 penalty. ANd anyone can fight in close combat, but because he's carrying a huge rocket launcher, he can't get bonuses for multiple CC weapons.

>> No.11211719


>death spinnas

pic related.

>> No.11211731


>but because he's carrying a huge rocket launcher, he can't get bonuses for multiple CC weapons

He can if he has multiple CC weapons in addition to the rocket launcher.

>> No.11211752


I can't remember if you can put any CC weapons on a Dev marine besides the bolt pistol.

>> No.11211800

>>Chaos Warriors vs Dwarfs
>>I charge 30 Dwarf Warriors with 20 Chaos Warriors with two handed weapons
>>10 attacks, all hit, all wound, he fails all saves - 10 Dwarfs dead.
>>he looses by 9
>>rolls double 1's on break - insane courage
>>fucking Dwarfs, how do they work

>> No.11211926

>Field list of random units with no overall force direction
>Laugh at people who take the game seriously

I'm one of them fags who fields what they like and not what's best.. and I still don't care.

>> No.11211966

Stop playing dice rolling the game. Not having an idea on how your army plays makes the game boring for the person your playing again.

>> No.11212146

You're confusing two things.
>Not knowing how to play your ARMY
>Not knowing how to play the XXXX pt. force you assembled from units in your army

He takes what he likes. He's probably the guy who takes gretchin, or snotlings. Or stealthsuits and Ethereals.

>> No.11212166

>Dark Angels vs Ultra Smurfs
>Ass tells me nothing can beat his smurf army in a 900 point battle
>My entire army is nothing but plasma weapons
>Proceed to plasma gun every squad and plasma cannon everything else
>took 4 rounds to wipe his 900 point army
>his face.

>> No.11212227


That's what you get for angering the chapter whose primarch was a gay british poem writer.

>> No.11212246

But...I won

>> No.11212271


And your gay british primarch was thus upset he did not get it in the ass.

>> No.11212284



>> No.11212312

ah, I could care less, I usually win when I drag them out.

>> No.11212392

I just lookedup some of his stuff, I think he's a pretty good poet.

>> No.11212457

I was playing WFB Chaos, 5th edition. Remember magic cards? Escape?

So thanx to it after a long 6000pts battle all that is left is my again resurected dark magic sorcerer on foot on 1 wound vs a High Elf hero on foot, 25 Spearmen and a Boltthrower

i kill the hero in one round of cc, then proceed to march towards the Elf lines, hiding from the bt by posigioning spearmen in it's way and casting Souldrain, a template spell taht kills elves and gives inflictd wounds to the caster, even beyound his starting value.

I finsh of the spearmen, Sorcere vs BT, everyone else is dead, I have 7 wounds

By the time I charge the BT I only have one.

I kill one elf of the crew in cc, then cast Death Spasm on the other - it forces the enemy to make a S test, if failed the enemy dies but inflicts his S hit to everyone nearby. Elf hits my Sorceror in his death spasms, wounds, I fail to save.

6000pts battle to the death, noone survives, noone even fled. battlefield full of bodies and one uncrewed bt.

>> No.11212471


still his gayness explains a lot about Dark Angels and their 'dark secret noone knows about' :D

>> No.11212506

I actually do think the fluff is pretty gay, but way back when I was 10 that shit was the bomb.

>> No.11212593

I play eldar and IG now and I pull out my SM for nostalgia sometimes.

>> No.11212638


and what does have to do with >>11212471 ?

>> No.11212661

>>11212593 was an addition to this>>11212506
I linked to the wrong box

>> No.11212693


>>has anyone really been far even as decided to use even go want to do look more like

>> No.11212725

> Unit of 8 ymgarl stealers and 8 vanilla stealers charge a chaos land raider
> Rending from stealers double immobilizes it.
> Continue to advance, in range of 4th ed. thousand sons w/ sorcerer
> convince other player to shoot vanilla because they are closer
> in charge range w/ ymgarl
> Fuck shit up
> just as planned

>> No.11212727

I do feel rather hurp derp about it.

>> No.11212737

>Play lord of the rings
>Easterlings vs Uruk Hai.
>Down to my opliphant
>Convince him to run his phalax into the oliphant.
>Wreck Phalanx

>> No.11212785

>Immobilize Hammerhead with Demolisher
>Hammerhead destroys Demolisher Cannon
>Ram Hammerhead and destroy it with lucky Lumbering Behemoth roll
>Place Demolisher model on top of Hammerhead model.
>Later model beige scraps of metal into the tank's treads

>> No.11212798


>> No.11212824

"And you cannot withstand the weight of my tank."

>> No.11212860

>Tau vs. Eldar
>My firewarriors win a combat against scorpians w/ exarch and farseer
>They run down the squad
>Imagine farseer + scorps being beaten to death with pulse rifles
>felt good man

>> No.11212886

>Dawn of War game
>White scars player begins with his entire army in reserve
>Deploy my pathfinders along the entirety of his side of the table

>> No.11212961

>Playing Apocalypse
>3 Trygon with the Imperial Armour rules
>All 3 end up squished under my traitor Hellhammer.

Trygons die if they end up under super-heavies, otherwise they end up in assault with the vehicle. That is, under those rules.

>> No.11213035

Turn 7 Orkz vs Eldar
>Tied for objectives
>1 in center contested by 5 Boyz and an Avatar
>3 Kanz w/o DCCW's charge Avatar (nothing else nearby)
>"Fuck you and your draw, get'em ladz!"
>All 3 explode before taking a swing
>"... well Fuck"
>Explosions put wound him 3 times
>Fails each save

That unit of Kanz now has bombs strapped all over them.

>> No.11213090

I thought only troops could claim objectives.

>> No.11213129

there were 5 boyz nearby, the avatar failed to make it through terrain to assault them, but was close enough to contest the objective they were next to.

>> No.11213131

Correct, but everything else can contest objectives, meaning that in that case, the game would've ended up a draw due to the Avatar also being sat there.

>> No.11213136

Only troops can claim, all units can contest.

>> No.11213183

>Meatgrind session
>Tau player doesn't move from his position for entire first two turns while my marines are creeping forward very slowly and staying out of sight.
>Third Turn; Deathwing Assault Termies arrive right in the middle of his force, his entire line falls apart fleeing only lose one Termie to a stray shot
>Fourth Turn; Two Drop Pods come in on the flanks, Bolterfire everywhere, Termies crush the only Kroot squad in one round,he flees further to the middle of the map.
>Turn Five; Full charge from entire army, two full Ravenwing Squadrons decimate the bulk of the leftover Fire Warriors, Assault Marines crush Pathfinders, Termies hit and obliterate Crisis Suits, Assault/Fist Chaplain smashes Ethereal.
>Tau player asks if he can just give up at this point
>"No mercy for the enemies of Man!" Begin rolling for Drop-Pod Vs Drones
>My face

>> No.11213224

>Have Traitor Hellhammer
>Shoot the 7" S10 AP2 36" range blast that ignores cover into stompa
>Chain reaction, Chain reaction, Chain Reaction, Structure point.
>My face

>> No.11213307

Not mine, but I witnessed it
>Homebrew scenario game
>(3rd party) Baneblade moves across the board firing randomly at each player
>Takes 10 man dev squad down to 1 lascannon, who holds
>his turn, lascannon fires back
>Hits, Pens
>Chain Reaction

>> No.11213422


Not sure if Win. Letting the game drag on when time is in short supply just so you can have a longer wank session is pretty crap. Opponent can designate a particular unit to "protect" to make it fun if the game needs to be played to completion.

That being said: I love it when a pincer move gets pulled off, even when against me.

>> No.11213437

>My whole squad as combi-flamers

Great... Nice to see you took the douche-bag route and customized your list specifically to fight against an opponent who can't do the same against you.

>> No.11213462

>playing agaisnt dick tau with chaos
> losin bad
>offer to forfeit
>player says thats no fun i wanna wipe you out
>Defiler alone kills rest of his army
>defiler is last man standing

ps that defiler now has badd ass paintjob as a reward.

>> No.11213497

>>11212785>Ram Hammerhead and destroy it with lucky Lumbering Behemoth roll

it moves like 6" with no charging ability, right?

>> No.11213501

So it was a win or tie situation, rather than a win or lose, which would have been more interesting. Still, nothing like winning with splodin kans.

>> No.11213546

long thread is long

>> No.11213587

>Play with an Ork army consisting of 5 distraction Nob bikers, 5 units of warbikes (3 6-man squads, 2 8-man squads), 3 fail rokkit-koptas, Warboss on Bike, and Captain Fail himself (Wazzdakka).
>Every game won, is awesome. Every game lost is a brutal reminder as to why GW needs to give Ork units some fucking weapon upgrade options.

>> No.11213717

>>11213587Every game lost is a brutal reminder as to why GW needs to give Ork units some fucking weapon upgrade options.

nobs ought to be able to take big shootas

>> No.11213768

you should see if your opponent would allow forge world. they get goodies like grot tanks and big trakks

>> No.11213901


In one hand.

>> No.11213963


a twin linked big shoota in each hand

>> No.11214024

No. Nobs are fine, they just need to be fixed so they're not so Wound-Allocation abusable.

What I mean is Orks in general need more weapon options. Too many units have nothing for fucking options. Warbikes? Nope... your only "option" is a PK Nob, or Big Choppa Nob if you want to fail at playing Orks. Stormboyz? Nope, all you get is Choppa Sluggas with jump-packs for 1.5x the cost.

We need fucking options back.

>> No.11214059

>First apocalypse game with new Legion Fellblade
>Versing Orks
>Never rolled a 1 for the Fellblade Cannon, Ordnance never scattered due to BS of Fellblade
>Ends up breaking up the Ork charge, completely clears Skyfall Landing pad of Orks and allied IG

problem, greenskin?

>> No.11214695

Nah, we called it quits right after the dice landed and went out for tea.

>> No.11214804


>>went out for tea


>> No.11214827

Tea as in supper, dinner, food, fodder, a chippie.

>> No.11214832

this thread has been on for 20hours now.

for someone who most commonly visits /b/ this is just...mindblowing

>> No.11214892

Yes, I have a problem. You're treating the word Versus as if it was the present indicative tense of the imaginary verb "verse". Verse does not mean play against, it means a section of a song or poem. Kids make that mistake.

>> No.11214905

GW is english, I'm surprised the rulebook doesn't mention the "tea break" phase.

>> No.11214972


but that does explain the Dark Angel primarch being gay british poem writer, as mentioned above.

>> No.11215218

>Play apoc 5k vs guard
>Company of Marines get Raped by Marc Mega bolters
>Manage to get lucky with roll for DW redemption force landing them in a 7" x 5" area right in the middle of his Armour
>Laughed hard as 16 Termies chew their way through 11 tanks in 2 turns
>felt gooooooooooooood

>> No.11215764

It's funny that it's existence. :>

>> No.11216271

DoW2: Last Stand game mode

>Playing Mekboy with Teleporta and Big Shoota
>Get to Wave 8
>Spot one of the sides that spawns a Zoanthrope, drop Roks on it.
>Teleport behind the Zoanthrope to get its attention.
>Zoanthrope stops dead in its tracks.
>First rok direct hits the Zoanthrope, nearly kills it, sends it flying.
>A second rok lands directly in the downed Zoanthrope.

Wave 9:
>Teleport into the area where the major banshee swarm spawns.
>Drop roks.
>Banshees spawn, jump at me.
>Teleport out.
>Roks slaughter 90% of the banshees.

>> No.11216507

As the OP, I am fucking proud

>> No.11217084

What verb should we use? Usually I use the shorthand (Fighter vs. Minion Reflex...), and "against" seems overused half the time.

>> No.11217460

Hardmode: No Green Text.
I was playing in a team tournament, about to table opposing team. Ironclad Dread with no arms closes in on vindi that was stunned. Roundhouse kicks demolisher shell back into barrel, blowing the vindicator sky high and tabling the game. Never forget.

>> No.11217513

Friend brags about new 200 point HQ he bought online
Deep strikes him alone next too my chos sorcerer
Use Gift o' Chaos and change his HQ into spawn
Spawn model not availiable so use cheesy pokemon model in its place
kill 2 terminators with pokemon model.

>> No.11217519

>alpha testing ChromHounds RPG
>trade cockpit shots
>get Fight over might
>land a second cockpit shot

>> No.11217702

>>Imperials vs Chaos Apoc
>>Turn 2 4 members of Vet Squad killed by Deathstrike Vortex Missile
>>Turn 3 2 get killed by Tower of Nurgle
>>Turn 4 Vet Squad kills entire Chaos Raptor Squad, everyone but Sargent dies from another Pus Cannon shot
>>Bottom of Turn 5, game about to end, Chaos Player decides to shoot Apocalypse Missile Launcher from his Warlord Titan at Sargent
>> Sargent dies, is Named "RoboSgt. Hatred"
The Sargent basically has one of the Basilisk crew heads that looks like robocop.... Not a victory, persay, but i think it is fun he sruvived everything up to the point and in his last stand, gets raped by a Warlord.

>> No.11217935

Shouting curses at the titan, he faced it down...and the man was forced to squash the wasp, lest it kill him.

>> No.11217973

bamping for stories

>> No.11218165

>Playing I.G. against Dark Eldar
>10 man Squad of Witches with Tooled up Archon tearing through half of my army about to charge 3 man guardsman squad with flamer.
>Shoot Flamer, kill all witches.
>Shoot Lasguns at Archon, all hit, all wound, shadow field fails.

>> No.11218412


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