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/tg/ - Traditional Games


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[ERROR] No.11140544 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

Mundane activities done on a nat20

>Open Door
>Nat 20
>Door is flung open and flies off its hinges
>It disables a passing goblin

>> No.11140551

that isn't how nat 20 works!

>> No.11140559

>Save OP's image
>Nat 20
>George Takei appears in my home
>Says Oh My, cooks me dinner

>> No.11140566

>Research Dagon
>Nat 20
>Realize that Dagon is the human name for Cthulhu
>Tell /tg/

>> No.11140569

>>11140551
If your DM is boring and has no sense of fun, I guess you're right.

>> No.11140570

>Read book
>Nat 20
>Never Ending Story

>> No.11140575

>use magnoculars
>nat 1 per test
>they shoot lasers now

>> No.11140579

>Walk up stairs
>Nat 20
>Feet stomp right through the stairs
>Stuck

>> No.11140580

>take shit
>roll for wipe
>nat 20
>toilet paper is pure white

>> No.11140586

>Seduce girl in bar
>Nat 20
>Entire bar wants to ride my cock

>> No.11140589

>>11140580

That's a critical failure right there. It means that you somehow missed all the shit, and have now pulled up your pants in the mistaken belief that you're clean. Hope you like dirty, crapped briefs.

>> No.11140594

>cut steak
>Nat 20
>table splits in two

>> No.11140597

>>11140589
was thinking the same thing

>> No.11140599

>>11140580
>Nat 20 again
>THEY'RE NOW DIAMONDS!

>> No.11140600

>Hug girl
>Nat 20
>RAPERAPERAPE

>> No.11140603

>Nat 20 thread.
>Nat 1.
>No one knows what nat 20 does.

>> No.11140605

>fire artillery
>nat 1 (on%)
>artillery bounces off other mech and lands on the command apc

>> No.11140609

>browse /tg/
>nat 20
>post 40k thread
>get all of /tg/ to start an Ultramarine army

>> No.11140610

>give friend light punch.
>Nat 20
>Roll confirm
>Nat 20
>Panic but roll second confirm
>Nat 20
>Kill your friend.

>> No.11140613

>Ask a ton guard for directions to tavern
>Nat 20
>He walks me there and all drinks are on him

>> No.11140619

>>11140544
>Attack opponent
>Nat 20
>Roll to confirm

>> No.11140623

>Drive Car
>Nat 20
>Drive into space

>> No.11140627

>Give pep talk to little league team you coach
>Nat20
>BELIEVE IN ME WHO BELIEVES IN YOU!

>> No.11140631

>>11140566
Are you sure that creature was supposed to be cthulhu? I always thought it was implied to be one of the many other horrible fucking beasts that dwell on this earth in relative secret.

>> No.11140638

>Open bag of popcorn
>Nat 20
>Open hole to popcorn dimension

>> No.11140639

>think of something witty to write in nat 20 thread
>nat 20
>i write something really witty that makes everyone laugh

>> No.11140640

>>11140610
I giggled.

>> No.11140642

Seriously happened today
>Fly on wall
>Attempt to kick the motherfucker
>Nat 20
>Kick targeted fly as well as unfortunate fly landing right within my shoe's range.

>> No.11140649

>>11140631

All of those fall under the Cthulu umbrella. If I recall correctly, SpongeBob is his neighbor under the sea.

>> No.11140650

>>11140599
>Try for pregnancy
>nat20
>Conceive Isaiah Mustafa

>> No.11140652

> Install curtain rods
> Nat 20
> People come from all over the world look upon the beauty of my curtains, and meditate upon them that they may glean their divine wisdom.

>> No.11140657

>Stick shovel in ground
>Nat 20
>Roll confirm
>Nat 20
>Uh-oh
>Nat 20
>Earth explodes

>> No.11140660

>>11140631
Hey, who's the one who rolled a nat 20 here?

>> No.11140665

>>11140627

>Give pep talk to little league team you coach
>Nat20
>"This was their finest hour"

>> No.11140669

>>11140631

Newfag detected.

>> No.11140675

>Attempt to hide from BBEG
>Nat 20
>DM Fiat.
>Rage Quit.

>> No.11140678

>Apply to a job
>Nat 20
>Own the company

>> No.11140680

>Go to Sleep
>Nat 20
>Dream of Isaiah Mustafa saving the universe and then giving you a brofist that destroyed the universe.

>> No.11140687

>>11140669
>Detect newfag
>Nat20
>Everyone but me is now a newfag

>> No.11140688

>Start thread on 4chan, image only
>Nat 20
>253 replies omitted, click reply to view

>> No.11140706

>>take a shit
>>nat 20
>>I wipe, completely clean, perfect turd in bowl

YEAH!!

>> No.11140707

>>11140680
> Go to sleep
> Nat 20
> Break out of the Matrix

>> No.11140718

>>11140638
>Popcorn Dimension

This is my job. I swear to God, it is. I'm the night janitor at a movie theater, so it's probably more like "Popcorn Hell."

>> No.11140722

>mention edition wars on /tg/
>nat20
>have actual discussion

>> No.11140723

NO SUCH THING AS ROLL TO CONFIRM BACK WHEN I PLAYED Dnd


THAC0

>> No.11140729

>Brush Teeth
>Nat 20
>Teeth become solid gold.

>> No.11140746

>Open Door
>Nat 20
>See 5 minotaurs playing poker. They don't notice you.
>Close door quietly, pick another room.

Fixed.

>> No.11140753

>start off-topic discussion on /tg/
>nat 20
>topic suddenly becomes a widely popular homebrew, become a /tg/ hero.

>> No.11140754

>Attempt to keep door to BBEG liar open
>Nat 20 str check
>Shatter door.

>> No.11140755

>Open Door
>Natural 20
>Everyone gets on the floor
>Everyone does the dinosaur

>> No.11140759

>>11140718
no, that's the negative popcorn plane

the popcorn dimension is somewhere else entirely

>> No.11140767

>>11140649
Well, no. Here's the thing, At the mountains of madness, they found a shoggoth and some elder things. Those are what I would consider to be one of the 'other horrible things' that live on earth.
Not to mention that a lot of these horrible things were associated with the ocean. Lovecraft must have hated the sea...
>>11140669
I wounder if you have read more Lovecraft than I. It's possible, but doubtful. I've got his complete works, and while I've never read them all, I've read all the famous ones, and then began to roll dice to see which ones I would read.

>> No.11140768

>Have sex with woman
>Nat 20
>Woman goes through mitosis, making this a threeway

>> No.11140769

>Build a pillow fort
>Nat 20
>Fortress Maximus

>> No.11140772

>>11140723
Roll to confirm was a load of shit. That's why we went from 2E straight to 4E and skipped the shitfest of 3.0 and 3.5 altogether.

>> No.11140786

>Roll dice
>Nat 20
>Get 20

>> No.11140788

>Choose instrument to learn
>Nat 1
>Vuvuzela

>> No.11140791

>Yell STOP!
>Nat 20
>HAMMERTIME

>> No.11140800

>>11140772
No. Don't you turn this thread into that. Fuck you. There was no way you did that on accident. Fuck you.

>> No.11140810

>>11140788
>Play vuvuzela
>Nat 20
>People come from around the world to hear you play the song of your people.

>> No.11140811

rolled 18 = 18

>>11140786

>> No.11140812

>Do math
>Nat 1
>Divide by Zero

>> No.11140816

>Cum in girlfriend
>Nat 20
>Octuplets
>Nat 20
>She doesn't want you to support her or anything, it's cool

>> No.11140818

Why are you rolling for mundane actions in the first place?

>> No.11140819

>>11140767

Might have also had something to do with a fascination with the Legend of Atlantis, since IIRC, Cthulu was related to somehow.

I know. You know who we can ask? http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/H._P._Lovecraft

>> No.11140823

>playing pathfinder
>try to burn down caravan
>convince driver to give me tinder so i can "muffle" the wheels
>nat 20
>burn down caravan.

>> No.11140835

>>11140818
Because taking a 10 is for NPCs

>> No.11140838

>Masturbate
>Nat 20
>Masturbate at the speed of light finish fapping before I started.

>> No.11140839

>>11140812
>Reflex save to change implied zero into 1
>Nat 20
>Kill the offender with the broken pencil during the slap away motion

>> No.11140841

>Read this thread
>Natural 20
>Reading it in the voice of George Takei

>> No.11140843

>>11140767
>Roll to decide which Lovecraft book to read
>Nat 20
>Read Necronomicon
>Ia ia cjopaze fhtagn!

>> No.11140847

>Watch The Adventures of Baron Munchausen dvd
>nat20
>I am now Baron Munchausen

>> No.11140853

>roll to post on 4chan
>nat 20
>now moot

>> No.11140861

>>11140818
>>11140835

No, first guy has a point. Do we really need to see if we can open a door? You don't have to be a hero for that. Level 0 girls can open a door. There's no stress in the action. Open a locked door while dodging arrows or some shit. Now it's time to roll some dice.

>> No.11140869

>pirate movie
>nat 20
>478 meg kung fu flick is now in HD

>> No.11140876

>taking a shower
>reach for body wash
>Nat 20
>I'm on a horse

>> No.11140877

>Throw grenade
>Nat 1
>OH SHIT

>> No.11140879

>Fap
>Nat 20
>Earth shattering orgasm that causes every other living being withing an 8 mile radius to instantly break out into a massive orgy.
>Jizz lands neatly in tissue
>Tissue throws itself away as well as takes out the garbage

>> No.11140883

>Be drunk as a skunk and try to walk up the long staircase to the rented room at the inn
>DM demands a roll
>Nat 20
>End up at the top of the staircase with a single step, with a fresh bottle of booze in your hands

>> No.11140884

Actual game... I was a Ranger who wasn't all that social but tried real hard.

>Ask the Bartender to sample a few of the drinks, DM asks why, I show him my one rank in Craft (Brewmeister) and Profession (Winesnob)
>Nat 20
>Pick the best drink in the house and the innkeeper was so impressed with me we drank the whole keg together, laughing and carousing, and the party spent the night for free.

>> No.11140890

> Talk to Friend
> Nat 20
> What do you mean I don't roll for languages?
> FFFFFFFFFFFFFFF

>> No.11140898

>>11140861
>Understand concept of fun
>Nat 1
>Idiotic post

>> No.11140903

>>11140819
Well, I know he hated the cold, because he almost died from it once, not to mention being poor as fuck meant that you were also probably living in drafty houses during winter which maximized your suffering.
It must have blown to be Lovecraft. I mean shit, if you show him some calamari floating in a kiddy pool full of ice cubes with some black kids walking around, the man probably would have had a fit of agonizing terror.

>> No.11140907

>>11140772
>roll spot on faggot
>nat 20
>discover the faggot wasactually a newfag

>> No.11140917

>nat20 in a drinking contest
>drink two barrels of ale through my nose
>local duke pays me 100 GP for being awesome

>> No.11140922

>play dow2
>Nat 20
>uninstall dow2

>> No.11140923

>take shot of gin
>nat 20
>delicious earthy pine flavor, no burn

>> No.11140929

>>11140861
You realize this just creates a world where infants occasionally nat 20 mundane things, eventually growing out of that

>> No.11140936

>browsing used car lot
>Nat 20
<image related

>> No.11140937

>>11140861
See, this is my problem with it. If it's just for the purposes of making an entertaining thread then ok -- but actually having your players roll for mundane actions in a game would be fucking asinine.

Roll to go down a flight of stairs? Roll to light a torch? Roll to walk slightly faster than usual? What's next?

>> No.11140950

>piss in snow
>nat 20
>piss nazca lines

>> No.11140960

>>11140569
>If your DM is boring and has no sense of fun, I guess you're right.
Yeah man, having something totally whacky and random happen every 10 die rolls (1 and 20) is so much fun!! Not doing this is just WRONG and only losers don't be so random xD

>> No.11140964

>Put car in drive
>Nat 20
>JIGGAWATS

>> No.11140977

>Roll to understand concept of mice and men
>Nat 20
>OH MY

>> No.11140979

> drawing a picture
> nat 20
> draw out latent psychic powers
> Win art fair by brainwashing judges
> ???
> Heresy

>> No.11140980

>>11140937
>Roll to walk slightly faster
>Nat 20
>Walk at 88mph, hit by lightning
>GREAT SCOTT!!!

>> No.11140986

>Tell time
>Nat 20
>Travel back in time

>> No.11140989

>>11140929
>>11140937

I'm the guy who posted the Cultist-cahn pic. I'm sorry, I was mad. My DM actually had us roll at grossly innapropriate times ("Roll to see what time it is") and then nothing happened at other times (We spend 20 minutes wandering a labyrinth. No enemies, no traps, and we had a board on the table so as we walked, we drew a map. Just walked for 10 minutes then left.)

I was mad. I take it back.

>> No.11140999

> drink water
> Nat 1
> Realize DM is an ass hat for making me roll to drink water

>> No.11141004

>>11140937
>respond to objection to thread
>nat 20
>the stupid shit I said is now a meme

>> No.11141007

>>11140979
Okay..I chuckled

>> No.11141014

>>11140980
I love you.

>> No.11141017

>putting together computer
>Nat 20
>AI.

>> No.11141019

>pop back
>nat 20
>am now bendier than yoga masters

>> No.11141029

>Roll to light torch
>Nat 20
>Ever Burning torch

>> No.11141034

>>11141017
so funneh xDDDD

>> No.11141036

>stifle sneeze
>nat 20
>never sneeze again

>> No.11141037

<- natural twenty sex result.

>> No.11141040

>Take shot of whiskey
>Nat 20
>Free handle of gold label

>> No.11141042

>>11140960
>oh god my ass hurts so much

>> No.11141045

rolled 14 = 14

>use diceroller on /tg/

>> No.11141046

>masturbating
>nat1
>OWOWOWOWOWOWOWOWOOOOOOOOOW

>> No.11141053

>Make a paper airplane
>Nat 20
>A-10 warthog

>> No.11141060

>>11141042
>Hey guys he ROLLED A 20 DO YOU KNOW THE ODDS OMFG IT WOULD BE HILARIOUS IF THE DOOR FLEW OFF THE HINGES EVERY NAT 20 OMFG XDDDDDDDDDDDDDD

>> No.11141066

>roll to walk up stairs
>Nat 20

>> No.11141068

>>11141045

>take ten

>> No.11141075

>Cut toenails
>Nat 20
>DM grants me Epic Cleave
>Nat 20s fucking everywhere
>I've cut all my nails in a single swoop, and given myself the best damn shave ever

>> No.11141080

>>11141060
>OW OW OW OH GOD I THINK IT'S BLEEDING

>> No.11141089

>>11140861
>thatsthejoke.jpg

>> No.11141095

>Open the door
>Get on the floor
>Nat 20
>Everybody walk the dinosaur

>> No.11141098

>Fap to Renamon
>Natural 20
>Renamon comes out of computer.
>19
>Become friends

>> No.11141109

>Fall down stairs.
>Natural 20 tumble roll.

>> No.11141110

>Mow lawn
>Nat20
>Grass is now extinct

>> No.11141117

>Roll to catch em all
>nat 20
>In the clinc for weeks.
>There is no cure.

>> No.11141121

>Play Pokemon Blue again.
>Nat20
>Mewtwo as starter.

>> No.11141124

>>11141095

>> No.11141125

>Turn on Tap
>Nat 20
>Flood the city

>> No.11141130

>Walk through revolving door.
>Natural 1.

>> No.11141132

>sick of /b/ and /v/ decide to explore other boards
>Nat 20
>find this thread on /tg/
>never leave this board
>my face

>> No.11141134

>Turn on computer
>Nat 20
>Computer keeps sexually harassing me.

>> No.11141136

>post in this thread
>nat 20
>this is the best thread on /tg/ right now

>> No.11141138

>write shitty flash game
>nat 20
>create the most advanced game in the history of mankind
>nat 1
>it's SBURB

>> No.11141141

>>11141132

>> No.11141142

>>11141080
Who's butthurt? You're butthurt!

>> No.11141148

I have recently forced one player to roll for certain mundane tasks like washing his face in a river.

Ofcourse his character was shitfaced and tipped in when he failed.

Anyway...

>Installing a new computer
>Nat 20
>Computer becomes sentient... and is a total bro.

>> No.11141150

>Run for cancer
>Nat 20
>Be elected cancer

>> No.11141151

>>11141132

>start a thread about ANYTHING
>Nat 20
>Awesome thread

You don't even need the other boards anymore.

>> No.11141164

>>11141060

>understand flexibility of given rules, creativity, DM fiat, applicability to situation, or purpose of thread

>1
>1
>1
>1
>1

>troll /tg/

>take 10, mundane action

>> No.11141171

>Try to revitalize gaming industry
>nat 1
>D&D 4E

>> No.11141177

>Play Master of Orion 2
>Nat 20
>Play as the Antarans

>> No.11141179 [DELETED] 

>>11140543

sTOP ATTACkiNG_aNd FuCkiNg WiTH wWW.anocARROtStalk.se rePlaCE_cArROtS With_N
zfaxqjwssrq xwbw dfzj kzia ij n q rtjbqvxcw

>> No.11141182

>>11141148
>installing a computer
whatthefuckamireading.jpeg

>> No.11141193

>>11141171

>try to defend 4e
>nat20
>still fail any reasonable discussion

>> No.11141199

>>11141171
i lol'd

BECASUE IT'S TRUE YOU FUCKING 4URRIES
OMG I GOD I HAT YOU ALL SO MUCH AHDLJNDUJHDFGJETGJYIBSFBFHIBFS FKHJSBFHWR FWRJGFUYISHBFWJBFWHRI1!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

>> No.11141200

>Attempt to save the world from devastation
>Nat 20
> Denounced the evils of truth and love.

>> No.11141203

>try to spam 4chan
>nat 1
>>11141179

>> No.11141204

>Grapple.
>Natural 20.

>> No.11141206

>>11141171
No, no get out, we're not having this discussion.

>get on a boat
>nat 20
>WHITE WHALE HOLY GRAIL!

>> No.11141210

>>11141193

>try to start edition wars in otherwise cool thread
>take 10
>Meh

>> No.11141225

>>11141204

FUCK I WANT TO DRINK CORONA NOW

>> No.11141229

>>11141199
>Try to spell.
>Natural 1.

>> No.11141236

>Go paintballing
>Nat 20
>FOR THE EMPEROR!

>> No.11141241

>not paying attention to lame DM
>asked what do from said DM
>make jump check, hoping it's relevant to situation
>nat 20
>jump onto table with such grace that all patrons in the tavern applaud, and ignore the group bard
>:3

>> No.11141250

>>11141241

nicely done

>> No.11141274

>>11141182

Verb

Infinitive
to install


Third person singular
installs


Simple past
installed


Past participle
installed


Present participle
installing

to install (third-person singular simple present installs, present participle installing, simple past and past participle installed)

1. (transitive) To connect, set up or prepare something for use

I haven't installed the new operating system yet because of all the bugs.

2. (transitive) To admit formally into an office, rank or position.

He was installed as Chancellor of the University.

3. (transitive) To establish or settle in.

I installed myself in my usual chair by the fire.
... lemme guess, you buy pre-packaged box deals with everything set up so you can just plug and play?

>> No.11141277

>Find statues
>Nat 20
>Become God

>> No.11141293

>No explanation needed.

>> No.11141297

>>11141274

>comeback

>nat 20

>apply charisma modifier

>-50

>flaw: "Patronizing asshole"

>> No.11141312

>Party rogue is holding up the group attempting to seduce everything with legs.
>Roll to intimidate anyone from touching 'my man'
>Nat 20
>Bartender kicks out cheating rogue, get free drinks and understanding
>Wtf

>> No.11141313

>>11141274
It's just that your word choice is a bit weird. Usually you "install" a program or a hardware component, but "set up" a computer.

>> No.11141314

>do clerical morning prayers
>nat20
>no cleric, YOU are the god

>> No.11141320

>>11141297

I can be... Admit it anon, you crave the abuse.

>> No.11141322

>>11141274
>Set up computer
>Nat 20
>Your eyes meet as the trap is sprung, and as he falls, he learns his final lesson: that he should never have crossed you.

>> No.11141345

>Tie shoelaces
>natural 20
>Become jesus

>> No.11141350

>Don't have phone on me trying to find a phone booth
>Nat 20
>Find the TARDIS
>Travel through space and time

>> No.11141351

> Buy a newspaper
> Nat 20
> Write Op-Ed column

>> No.11141355

>>11141313

Suppose, I usually use the word install a computer for the whole process of setting up and installing the OS and other vital programs.

>Post in thread
>Nat 1
>Come off as a complete arse and start a flame war.

>> No.11141356

>Attempt to find anything fun in these
>Nat 20
>>11141322

>> No.11141367

>play team fortress 2
>Natural 20
>win round single-handedly in 60 seconds

>> No.11141375

>Fly
>Nat 20
>Like a butterfly

>> No.11141410

>Attempt to find something useful at a thrift shop
>Nat 20
>Find a Titan

>> No.11141423

>>11141410
>Attempt to find something useful at a scrapyard
>Nat 20
>Find a Titan
>LIVING HERE IN JERSEY FIGHTING VILLAINS FROM AFAR

>> No.11141425

>Ask for this thread to be archived
>Natural 20
>???
>PROFIT!

>> No.11141426

>attempt to open funny pictures folder by typing in the first few letters
>nat1
>open TF2, computer slows to a crawl with all the other shit happenning
>die of old age

>> No.11141428

>little sister getting into Wicca
>show her how it's done
>cast spell
>nat 20
>Summon Great Cthulhu

>> No.11141435

>Playing Mario 64
>go to endless staircase
>nat 20
>http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=2P6bvI9Z5Fg

>> No.11141449

>>11141423

CHICKS DIG GIANT ROBOTS!

>try to make post somewhat productive and on topic
>nat 20
>come up with this here lame excuse.

>> No.11141453

>>11141428

Not so good. U goan' die.

>> No.11141463

>Get starter chemistry set for christmas
>Roll nat 20
>Discover Higgs-Boson

>> No.11141476

>pour a bowl of lucky charms
>nat 20
>ALL MARSHMALLOWS

>> No.11141481

>>11140769
>Build a pillow fort
>Nat 20
>Trypticon
>Transformers Movie never Happened

FIFY Brocon

>> No.11141502

>Try to tie a sack closed
>nat1
>tie hands together, use rope DC40.

This happened to my brother in a level 2 campaign, we had to cut the rope. What a waste.

>> No.11141507

>Take a nap
>Nat 20
>Never need to sleep again

>> No.11141512

>Drive check to make a sudden U-turn
>Nat 20
>I go back ... to the future

>> No.11141519

>Iron stolen clothes
>Nat 20
>Iron out crime

>> No.11141534

>Put cardboard box on torso.
>Nat 20
>I AM IRON MAN.

>> No.11141535

>Cook food
>Nat 20
>Suddenly Iron Chef.

>> No.11141539

>doing grunt's loyalty quest in Mass effect 2
>nat20
>Wrex joins the party

>> No.11141547

>>11141519
>>11141534
>>11141535
TOO MUCH FERROUS!

TOOOOOO MUCH FERROUS!

>> No.11141549

>ride a bicycle
>nat 20
>the BICYCLE song by queen starts playing wherever you go

>> No.11141570

>Do push ups
>Nat 20
>I'M THE JUGGERNAUT BITCH!

>> No.11141572

>Hang clothes out to dry
>Nat 1
>clothing returns for vengeance

>> No.11141575

>Attempt to discover why /tg/ is a bookmark
>nat 20
>Find this.

>> No.11141581

>>11141572
>make pun
>nat20
>become celebrated author

>> No.11141591

>>11140544
>Read OP
>See "Open Door"
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur

>> No.11141593

>in the arcade
>look for quarter
>nat 20
>all games free

>> No.11141599

rolled 1 = 1

Rolling for bluff

>> No.11141618

>Friend wants to play
>Search room
>Nat 1
>Lose marbles

>> No.11141620

>playing warcraft 2
>nat20
>BECOME AN ORC

>> No.11141627

>Try to create terrible thread
>Nat 20
>ITT

>> No.11141629

>>11141618
Did you kill him and eat him as a sacrifice to the Old Gods?

>> No.11141643

>Find the Doctor
>Natural 20
>EXTERMINATE!

>> No.11141648

>Create shoe book, so you can read while you tie your laces
>nat 20
>The plot is afoot

>> No.11141661

>>Painting Bloodthirster I just bought
>>Natural 20
>>Paint Bloodthirster with such horrific ferocity that I can't enter it in any painting competitions because the judges are too frightened to look at it.

>> No.11141662

>>11140841
This thread just got epic.

>> No.11141665

>>11141599
Critical Failure.

>> No.11141676

>Shout about how you must kill demons
>Nat 20
>You are the demons

>> No.11141687

>masturbate
>nat 20
>impregnate a woman I've never met

>> No.11141710

>Force pun
>Nat 20
>Jedi powers still work

>> No.11141720

>>11141138
Good job, asshole, now the universe is doomed.

>> No.11141722

>Go to high five my friend
Nat1
>Lose my arm
>Nat20
>Gets replaced with the god hand

>> No.11141729

>DM asks me to roll dice for a mundane action
>Nat 20
>I realize there are no criticals on skill checks
>I just wasted a 20

>> No.11141744

>Homebrew game system
>Nat 20
>Perfect simulation without being rules-heavy
>Recieve honerary phD from MIT

>> No.11141747

>>11141729
When that shit happens our DM lets us keep it for a comparable action.

E.g:

Player: "OK, I roll a listen check!"
*Get a 20*
DM: "You didn't need to roll, you can hear them just fine. That 20 goes into your next lsten check."

>> No.11141756

>>11141744
>implying that a simulation of real life wouldn't be dull as fuck

>> No.11141757

I had a level 15 mayor pull out a crossbow to shoot my lvl 1 sorcerer once cause I pissed him off, he critical missed then crit on the hit, and shot himself in the face to commit suicide. instant level 2 for whole party.

>> No.11141768

>Write simple text-based adventure
>Nat 20
> The Elder Scrolls V

>> No.11141803

>>11141757
That happened once to my party.

Only not in a good way.

>Fighter with vorpal longsword attacks
>nat1
>nat20
>decapitates self instantly

>> No.11141810

>Be a whiny, killjoy cunt
>Nat 20
>>11141729

>> No.11141811

>>11141756
>Implying real life is dull when you don't sit around in front of a computer all day

>> No.11141813

>looking for porn on the internet
>nat 20
>the most amazing orgasm happens leaving me gasping for air
>nat 20
>I survive the heart failure and gets stronger than before

>> No.11141816

>Criminal trying to hit me, I dodge
>Nat 1
>Get struck by a smooth criminal

>> No.11141839

>>11141803

best part is as we walked out the town had gathered to lynch us, they did the same thing, ran into the burning house to save the mayor's body and all burned to death cause we'd set it on fire for shits n giggles

>> No.11141840

I know it's late, but for you people talking about Cthulhu:

"Dagon is the human name for Cthulhu" was a popular trolling method about a year and a half ago. I was in the thread in which it started, completely derailed everything.

>> No.11141919

>>11141840
I don't get it, probably because I never read Cthulhu mythos. What's it all about?

>> No.11141952

>>11141840
what's funny about it is that HPL INTENDED for his mythos to be ambiguous and confusing. He'd insert his mythos into stories he ghostwrote, or let author others used them, often under slightly different names (cthulhu became Thoolhu or something like that).
And all of this was before he died and bunch of authors expanded on the mythos to mixed success.

>> No.11141957

>play doctor
>nat20
>win

>> No.11141981

>spawn as traitor in SS13
>nat 20
>kill everybody

>> No.11142007

>pick up guitar for first time and flail on it
>nat 20
>literally the entire country is attmpting to beat down my house to get to me
>nat1
>I am crushed to death by the house as it comes down on me

>> No.11142022

>>11141919
Cthulhu and Dagon are two distinct entities, the only thing they have in common is they live in the ocean. Someone said "Dagon is just the human name for Cthulhu btw" and everyone just started raging at his ignorance. Trolls picked it up the next day.

>> No.11142037

>Create Fursona
>Natural 20
>oh jesus make it die

>> No.11142106

>take up art as a profession
>nat 1
>fail school and leave early
>nat 20
>"sieg hiel!"
>nat 1
>suicide

>> No.11142113

>>11140559
A big, meaty, asian burger bychance?

>> No.11142218

>>11142007

>decide to play Guitar Hero III
>nat 20
>100% Expert Through the Fire and Flames

>> No.11142225

>>11142113
Made from real Asians!

>> No.11142247

>>11142037

I think I read about that thing in the Bible

if it asks you to open a scroll, don't

>> No.11142258

>>11142247
Which bible is that thing from, the H.P. Lovecraft edition?

>> No.11142287

>Roll nat 20 on Streetwise check when looking for weapon shop
>Right next to me
>rage.jpg

>> No.11142303

>writing for a comedy cartoon
>decide to write a sad episode
>nat 20
>image related

>> No.11142325

>Download torrent
>Nat 20
>Hit top 10 seeders on BakaBT

>> No.11142355

>>11142303
>trying not to cry
>nat 20
>single manly tear

>> No.11142428

>troll /tg/
>roll natural 20
>everyone ends up breaking either their desk or their forehead

>> No.11142568

>decide to look at porn
>Nat 20
>Find a porno of the girl you had a crush in highschool

>> No.11142575

>>11142568
that would be incredibly cash

>> No.11142597

>Wake up
>Nat 20
>Go right back to sleep

>> No.11142604

>Play Touhou
>Nat 20
>Physically enter Gensokyo

>> No.11142610

>>11142568
>decide to look at porn
>Nat 1
>Find porn of your wife in a furry gangbang

>> No.11142619

>>11142610
>>11142568
For some of us this is reversed.

>> No.11142658

>>11142568
>>11142610
What if these are the exact same video?

>> No.11142724

>>11141046
That's more if you rolled a 1.

>jerking off
>NAT 20
>Hot chick in appartment next door walks in, and decides to help out

>> No.11142764

To everbody posting in this thread:

Nat 20 means you do a task very well. Not that you cause random coleteral damage that has nothing to do with the task at hand.

And don't go "no fun" me, this shit isn't funny.

>> No.11142766

rolled 10 = 10

>Roll to sage thread.

>> No.11142790

>>11142766

Take 10, gtfo.

>Make a horse riding check
>Nat 20
>Horse is pegasus

>> No.11142800

>>11142764

>> No.11142833

>Typing post for 4chan
>Nat20
>Post types itself, all of 4chan thinks it's a cool story bro.

>> No.11142841

>Judo chop bandit riding horse
>Nat 20
>Cut bandit and his horse in half

>> No.11142941

>get in argument
>roll nat20
>my hair is a bird

>> No.11143012

>playing chess
>roll natural 20
>invent new rule, it catches on worldwide

you just know this is how bullshit like castling came to be

>> No.11143016

>Asked to run a game
>Nat 20
>Everyone considers it the best DH game they've ever played
>No one realizes you ran Maid for the entire campaign

>> No.11143024

>>11140819
damn, i didnt know he was so racist

>> No.11143061

>>11142303
>that ending
WHY WOULD YOU DO THAT?

>> No.11143066

>run across the street
>Nat 20

>> No.11143067

>Searching for porn on the internet
>Nat 20
>Your hard drive becomes pregnant

>> No.11143096

>>11140579
are you a space marine?

>> No.11143112

>Craft Water Excellency
>20 Net Successes
>FUCKING SANDWICH

>> No.11143115 [DELETED] 

>>11140541

STOP_ATtacKING anD_fucKINg wItH WwW.AnOCArRotStAlk.SE rePLAce CaRrots_wIth N
jnzvspje sfy q tqmd ru hjq tn zrqrz aktwpmcg zxf

>> No.11143163

>playing tennis
>roll a 1
>trip and fall
>roll a 20
>manage to hit the ball while on ground and get back up
>repeat three more times
>roll a 20
>overhead oponent in the face
feels good man

>> No.11143170 [DELETED] 

sTOP ATtACKINg anD_fUCkinG wITH_www.ANOCarroTStAlk.sE_rEpLace_carrOTS_wIth_N
u oj zfqm bqk qvd hky gcnmd y vdpkrdskw

>> No.11143278

>>11140599
>Nat 20 again
>The diamonds are around the necks of two beautiful Swedish pornstar supermodels.

>> No.11143295

>see goblin by grey pyramid
>nat20
>admire red pyramid

>> No.11143309

>>11141367
>Nat20
>As a Medic

>> No.11143348

>Infiltrating Shadow Moses Island to destroy Metal Gear
>Meet Sniper Wolf
>Diplomacy
>Natural 20
>This happens
>She disables Metal Gear with a clean shot to the circuits and we fly away on our magical unicorn
>Metal Gear makes much more sense now

>> No.11143444

>>11141534
>Write "Gundam" on cardboard box
>Nat 20
>Funnels...Funnels everywhere

>> No.11143525

>Attempt to break bus window
>Natural 20
>This happens

>> No.11143540

>>11143348

I actually prefer this ending.

>> No.11143630

>I'm Commander Shepard
>Complete's Tali's Loyalty Mission
>Romance!
>Nat 20
>Sex before final battle!
>Tali, roll for Allergic Reaction / Infection
>Nat 20
>Now completely immune to anything she could get from Shepard or his quarters
>Hot Quarian Sexings.... every night

>> No.11143657

>>11143630

Wouldn't natural 20 for that make her the first Quarian that didn't need a suit?

>> No.11143783

>>11143657

No... that would be the follow-up 20 for secondary disease... and third for the secondary effects would make her all that PLUS she can go for hours and hours... this is a Constitution-based Fort save, after all.

>> No.11143954

>oh god my rails are gone, improvised GMing
>nat 20
>The party is now on the run from the royal family, evil cult, and mercantile faction and they love it.
tru story

>> No.11144010

>>11143954
You win at GMing.

>> No.11144031

>try to save Bob
>nat 1
>try to make the bad man pay
>nat 20

>> No.11144039

>play RIFTS
>nat 20
>have fun

>> No.11144077

>Storm Trooper
>Will Save vs. Mindtrick
>Nat 20
> These ARE the droids we're looking for!

>> No.11144080

>full arrest call
>my BLS unit is first on scene
>perception test
>nat 20
>understand situation without any assessment
>dexterity test
>nat 20
>fucker wakes up when i place hand on forehead and shout "BE HEALED!"
>promotion

>> No.11144125

>>11144031

>try not to cry again
>nat 1
>OH GOD BOB WHY

>> No.11144148

>Roll Streetwise check.
>Nat 20
>Become Commander Vimes

>> No.11144159

>>11140551
Troll post detected.

>> No.11144194

>Be a Wal-Mart Cart Pusher
>oshit thunderstorm
>think the worst is over
>lightning strikes the parking lot
>roll for Coolness
>nat 20
>don't even look, just continue to push carts into the store.

True story, haters gonna hate.

>> No.11144223

>Play FATAL
>Nat 20
>Have a good tim- OH SHIT ITS IMPOSSIBLE!

>> No.11144263

>>11144194

>roll for coolness
>cart pusher

yeah, no

>> No.11144267

rolled 2 = 2

>> No.11144282

>>11144263

>have job
>pay bills
>go to college
>get shit done.

Haters gonna hate.

>> No.11144283

>>11144263
lol
>>11144080
This guy is eligible for a coolness roll.

>> No.11144320

>>11144031
T_T You son of a bitch.

>> No.11144425

>>11144282

The argument isn't whether or not >>11144194 has had a successful life or not. The argument is whether he receives a COOLNESS check on ANYTHING given that he's a CART PUSHER. All discussion of jobs, schooling and otherwise unrelated subjects means jack shit.

>> No.11144447

>Spot check
>Natural 20
>Spot Shadow in a dark room
>Fiery Burst
>DM bitches that reserve feats are cheesy

>> No.11144448

>Open Door
>Nat 20
>Get on the floor
>Everybody walk the dinosaur

>> No.11144453

>rolling 4d6 6 times for ability scores
>nat 20
>24 sixes

>> No.11144458

>>11144425
Indeed.
>>11144080
He apparently saves lives. coolness check? Auto natural 20.

>> No.11144475

>Fuck girlfriend
>Nat 20
> Attend girlfriends funeral

>> No.11144492

> Apply for job
> Nat 20
> CEO dies
> Due to a series of unlikely blunders, I am named primary beneficiary of his estate.
> Own company.

>> No.11144507

>>11144448
This game just got awesome

>> No.11144509

> Posting on 4chan
> Nat 20
> Shave neckbeard

>> No.11144536

> Play Unicorn Attack
> Nat 20
> Server crashes in bizarre way
> All scores except mine are destroyed forever, no one else can even post scores
> Robot Unicorn Attack champion FOREVER.

>> No.11144552

>>11144425

>Work in the sun, eight hours a day
>Tan
>Get rock-hard legs
>Lose 30 pounds
>Buy a weight chair and dumbells
>Work out upper body.

Haters gonna hate.

>> No.11144583

>>11144507


>post in thread
>nat 1
>same post made multiple times
>nat 20
>thread now awesome

>> No.11144718

>Attack the Collector Base
>Nat20
>NO ONE LEFT BEHIND

>> No.11144739

>Fighting dude in cave.
>Natural 20
>So low on health, the DM allows me to describe death.
>"I punch through his fucking skull and he explodes causing damage to his friends by means of his fractured bones."
>"...roll to confirm..."
>"...okay!"
>Natural 20
>"...............I'LL roll 1d6-no make it 1d4 for damage"
>Rolls a 4
>my face

>> No.11144768

>Ask out girl
>Natural 20
>Girl is the Threesome Fairy
>Have Threesome
>Roll natural 1
>Other girl is the Strap-On Fairy
>My Face

>> No.11144872

>>11144768
Sounds like 2 natural 20s to me!

>> No.11145030

>>11142610

This actually sounds like a Nat 20 to me...

>> No.11145045

>Meet two girls who want to leave their boyfriends
>Nat 20
>Have threesome
>Tell them you don't date cheating whores
>trollface.jpg

>> No.11147291

Not D20 and not nat20 but the opposite i guess, dont know how D20 works.

>Challenge nobleman to a duel.
>He accepts.
>Go outside.
>I attack and he tries to reflexivly draw his sword and attack in the same action. Fumbles.
>Chops a friend in the arm.
>Rolls to se if he gets mad. Fumbles.
>They start fighting.
>Nobleman attacks. Fumbles.
>Pokes his own eye out.
>Henchman attacks. Fumbles.
>Stabs himself in the foot.
>Nobleman rolls to se if he survives the bloodloss. Fumbles.
>Dies.
>Henchman tries to jump into tavern to get help. Fails.
>Trips and hits his head on a bench.
>Roll for damage, breaks neck.
>Dies.

My face.

>>
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