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File: 17 KB, 873x627, uplifting primer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
10969973 No.10969973 [Reply] [Original] [4plebs] [archived.moe]

As a bunch of you already know, I'll be shipping off next monday to live the grand life of cannon fodder.

But before I go, I have a small request for anyone wishing to make me that much happier: could anyone send me a copy of the Uplifting Primer to keep me company in the army?
I know I could just buy it myself, but it would feel so much more important if it was a gift from a grea/tg/uy.

Begging aside, I guess we can use this as a conversionfag Q&A thread too.

>> No.10969992

yes. I approve of this request. someone should put it on /rs/

>> No.10969994

Just remember: ork fangs are blunt and can be pulled out easily. Orks are cowards and will run as soon as you give them a few shots of your lasgun.

>> No.10970016

Eldar Shruiken weapons fire little bits of blunt metal, easily deflected by your armour.

>> No.10970017

HAHAH! National Service.

Enjoy holding off wave after wave of angry Russians, Script.

>> No.10970031

This info will save my life one day.
This, and looking aroudn corners (only head exposed)

>> No.10970055


>> No.10970061


And always remember, writing in the box is grounds for immediate execution. Don't write in the box.

>> No.10970068

damn you, now i will buy it from ebay

>> No.10970069


>> No.10970081



original edition, and not the damocles gulf one

>> No.10970099

Sweet Emperor!


>> No.10970107

I'll drop my adress after someone agrees to send it to me - the good sirs outside Europe might need to send it via express mail or something though if they wish I get it in time...

>> No.10970109


it's already on /rs/ genius

>> No.10970111

inb4 OP get tainted by Chaos

>> No.10970114


password is: primer


>> No.10970129

Dude, he's talking about a physical copy. One he can carry around with him and stuff.

>> No.10970132

I own one. But only the old one, without Tau in it.

So I'll have to pass.

>> No.10970142

Kill self namefag

>> No.10970145

What couny are you from Scripty?? What are you joining??? Why??

>> No.10970146


That's not nessessary. His gouverment does it for him.

>> No.10970164


have you SEEN his conversion threads?

>> No.10970169

The summer is strong in that one...

>> No.10970178

It's mandatory.
Or well, there ARE options, but the options suck (13 months community service-esque work or prison)

>> No.10970185

Script is like the one namefag still on /tg/ that earned his name.

>> No.10970189



>> No.10970194

Britfag here I wish we had national service in my country I really want some military experience but really do not want to jump into an at least a 4 year sentence

>> No.10970199

sucks to be you. Conscription is retarded.

I did it voluntarily, shit life is shit.

>> No.10970200
File: 138 KB, 480x577, painting-vertran.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Ahaha, you're going to get shot and/or blown the fuck up for a really stupid reason.

Pic related: This is you in a year.

>> No.10970229


Army's new strategy was to terrify Navy into giving up the ball.

>> No.10970234

He looks happy.

>> No.10970257

This might be true if I was from the USA or some other country that actually uses it's army. I honestly can't remember if we've had a single battlefield casualty in the last 60 years.

Hooray for peacekeeping and other not-really-war stuff.

>> No.10970276

>implying going into military service will automatically get you killed/maimed.

USMCfag here and I wish you luck! may the emperors light protect.

>> No.10970286

If I had a physical copy of it, I'd send it to you, though.
Good luck!

>> No.10970289

I'll see what I can do scripty

How soon before you ship off?

>> No.10970290

true story: The guy that painting is based off of was engaged to be married prior to being shipped off to bumfuckistan, and when he came back she ended up marrying him anyways. I mean, if she didn't she'd probably be a complete pariah in her community because he's basically seen as Marine Corps Jesus around there. So there they are with that walking scar in full marine dress uniform, and there's a picture of their reception where, if you look close enough, you can see the exact moment where her soul dies.

She ends up divorcing him like six months later, and if this guy goes 5 years without swallowing the end of a gun I'll be fucking shocked. That's "military".

>> No.10970307

You know, I just lost my copy of the Damocles Gulf one the other day. Still don't know where I put it...

Oh, well. At least I have the Imperial Munitorum Manual to keep me company.

>> No.10970319

This whiteshield thanks you.
If things go NOTASPLANNED I might be coming back as an officer. I'd rathar stay away from that as officer training takes farlonger than the normal minestomper training, but I can't really turn down shiny collar tabs either...

>> No.10970329

And that exact story happens to all 180 some thousand Marines. :) christ some people are thick.

>> No.10970334

>Why yes, you're joining a profession where you get shot at by angry men for a living, of course it's perfectly safe!

lol, and if you sign on now, you can pick your MOS.

>> No.10970341

Got a better chance of living as an officer.

>> No.10970342
File: 11 KB, 424x288, putin glare.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>hurf durf joining the military is a surefire way to get maimed and/or killed.

>> No.10970354

I dont know how much they pay you over there but officer is always a good route.

>> No.10970360

Is it not on /rs/? If not, then when I get back, I'll scan the entire Damocles Gulf edition.

Could have sworn it was, seeing as how I was the fa/tg/uy responsible for uploading the DC pages.

>> No.10970362

If you're in the military, you're human garbage hth.

Too bad we don't spit on you getting off the plane anymore ;_;

>> No.10970377

It should be on /rs/. In TRIPLICATE, by now.

>> No.10970385

>Implying that driving on the freeway is perfectly safe, ect. ect. ect.

>> No.10970390

Enjoy your propaganda, belligeren/t g/renadier.

>> No.10970393
File: 13 KB, 320x319, gtfo-throw.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10970409


By order of the Commissariat, you must report to your nearest Commissar for instructions on proper procedure trooper.

Do not fail the Emperor in this task and you will receive his mercy.

>> No.10970410

>implying that a profession whose sole purpose is to act as a thug to support the ruling government's agenda is the same as any other morally superior profession (all of them).

>> No.10970420

Isn't Mannerheim the God-Emperor of Finland or something?

>> No.10970421

>implying I'm going to do this for a living
Naw, I have better plans than sticking around longer than I absolutely have to.
Best Case: web support
Neutral: Officer training
OK: Minimum run as a comms man
Worst case: Military Police, cook or driver

>> No.10970423

Read the goddamn thread
>Implying that anyone could exemplify human garbage more than a fa/tg/uy on the internet insulting those who risk their life for others.

>> No.10970431

Not all bad, military doesn't want conscription because people in this country are useless cunts now. Too many chav bastards.

And yea, contact is fucking lame. Short is lasting to 12 but you can leave after 4, Ffuu

>> No.10970438

The military lies to you.

In other news, the sky is blue and grass is found to be green. Coming up: Is chocolate yummy?

>> No.10970441

Oh, isn't that cute. He's trying to grab the moral high ground.

>> No.10970443
File: 26 KB, 400x400, derp1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Anarchistfag detected. Youl grow up eventually son. However until then we are all very dissapoint.

>> No.10970444

Mannerheim is sort of two-pronged. On one hand, he is our greatest war hero, on the other, neo-nazis use his image a lot these days.

>> No.10970445
File: 75 KB, 320x240, Snapshot_20100706.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


I have the Democles Gulf edition. I no longer need it. Drop off an address and you can take it from my filthy hipster hands.

>> No.10970455

Scripty, if there was a way, I'd mail you my copy

>> No.10970457

>Implying that conscription is in any way, shape, or form comparable to a selfless act of human compassion and not just allowing the government to use your body to keep other people in line.

>> No.10970471

I chose not to join up this year. Spent it unemployed on welfare and spat on like the useless shit I am. Long time since i was top of the class. Alternatives like.

>> No.10970475

whats the finnish military do exactly?

>> No.10970476

Yeah. Last of an ancient breed of grea/tg/ents. I wonder why we don't have any GOOD namefags anymore.

>> No.10970478

To be fair, it is Finland; he'll do a year or so of marching hup and dewn tha square, a couple of exercises where he free\es his ass off in the snow, learns how to fight Russkies and save starving people, MAYBE at most he'll get deployed to some semi-stable African country as a Peacekeeper (I don't know if the Finnish Military deploys conscripts overseas).

So he essentially gets a year of being taught how to be awesome while getting shouted at by people (and the hair will be gone, that glorious, glorious hair...) without the risk of being shipped off to die in some middle eastern hellhole.

>> No.10970490
File: 20 KB, 650x450, 00461.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10970498

Train to fight the Russians
Humanitarian/Peacekeeping Stuff
NATO Exercises

>> No.10970501

does anyone got the damocles gulf version to download?

>> No.10970502


Lehmustie 2 A9

>inb4 letter bombs and gay porn mags flood my house

>> No.10970520



>> No.10970523

Wait wait wait, you signed up for the military? On purpose?

Enjoy your gunshot wounds and slow death on a battlefield.

>> No.10970529

>whats the finnish military do exactly?

Kill Russians. It's like their national sport or something.

>> No.10970544

Ill try and get it to you as soon as I can.

>> No.10970545

"In case of Russians, this is how a gun works"
Also peacekeeping if Afganistan and some other places

It's pretty much a 6 month LARP camp with guns.

>> No.10970546

Hmm. Well this marine wishes brother scripty some more luck, I got pt in a bit and ima take a nap. (I wonder what you call a fa/tg/uy who isnt fat?)

>> No.10970550


Jesus there's quite a bit of forest. And what's the building to the south of your house, the large one?

>> No.10970551

Are the russians that big of a problem to Finland?

>> No.10970553

You are a gentleman and a scholar.
Can you sign it too? :3

>> No.10970557
File: 5 KB, 303x243, 1278429586990.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]



Nah nobody here has the wherewithal to make that shit I guess.

>> No.10970560
File: 67 KB, 720x480, emote_1277329929884.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>Didn't bother to read the thread besides the first post.

>> No.10970561
File: 551 KB, 820x1312, Sword 'n' Board.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

kill self newfag. Script is a bro, and one of the good namefags. We have them on /tg/. You want proof? Pic related is epic teir.

>> No.10970572


Wish you luck man. Joining the Air Force myself here soon.

>> No.10970574

how creepy, I bought this just a few days ago and was just reading it now

>> No.10970584

Sniping ten thousand Russians on a lazy day, with beer in hand.

>> No.10970592

No he didn't. Many European countries, like Germany, have some form of compulsary National Service which everyone has to do at a certain age; this can either be joining the military or doing community work, like being a EMT or helping in prisons, hostpitals, etc.

This is done to A: promote discipline and skills in the nation's youth and B: maintain a decent reserve/armed forces in case of Russians.

In Finland's case, mostly Russians.

>> No.10970607


If Russian killing was an Olympic event, the Finns would be gold medalists. I think it should be but the pussies in the IOC disagree.

>> No.10970614

This? A lot?
Naw, that's just some random trees. Common in suburban areas.

I'm not sure if you mean the tenis court or the school or the shop...

>> No.10970618

I'll make a little note so it doesnt get damaged.

>> No.10970627

Oh hell. I was in Tallinn for 2 days.

Anyways, godspeed, Script. I shall remember you most for the Converto shenanigans.

>> No.10970628

Oh hay, look. Yet another reason why America is morally superior to literally every other country on the planet.

No compulsory military service. How 'bout dat...

>> No.10970635

Scripty be sure to open all packages received from now on with 10ft poles,

we wouldnt want to lose you, stay safe in the army, christmas just wouldn't be the same without you

>> No.10970640
File: 49 KB, 360x470, 1273717643147.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


Your neighbourhood looks damn nice, at least from this angle. But then I live in northern England so my standards dangle lower than my balls.

>> No.10970645

I guess the idea of a parallel war is too complex for them.

>> No.10970649

Russia and Finland are bros these days. They sell us gas and oil directly unlike the rest of Europe.
The military is there mainly for tradition's sake.

>> No.10970650

I don't know, I'm british ex-army...

>> No.10970669

>morally superior
>no real democracy
>no public health system of note
>welfare system is pure shit
>starts wars all over the world for no reason at all
Yeah, sure.

>> No.10970676

It's probably the school; it's got a schooly look about it.

>> No.10970679

I'd rather get drinking or drunk fighting as an olympic event.
Finland wouldn't be allowed to join though as we all count as professionals

>> No.10970690

can't get googlemaps to work for some reason. Post a pic and I'll confirm it.

>> No.10970691


>> No.10970697
File: 303 KB, 152x152, 1270076027540.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10970698

>implying many countries engage in direct democracy

>> No.10970704

I shall say a prayer in the Emperor's name. Remember to speak the Litany's with zeal. For only the God Emperor, the true father of Man-Kind, can save you from the heretic. Honestly, if I was conscripted, I would just think of myself as a Guardsmen and live out "The Adventure". Hoping that I became somewhat of a Caphias or something. Just don't tell anyone else about your crazy fantasies.

The Emperor protects.

>> No.10970714

>Russia and Finland are bros these days.

They will wait until you show weakness. Putin can taste any sign of weakness in his prey.

>> No.10970726
File: 55 KB, 610x401, russia tiny finland tall.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Putin is little tiny baby man

>> No.10970733
File: 82 KB, 645x506, FINLAN.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10970743

Putin was literally a faggoty desk jockey during the cold war, and I don't understand why so many nerds have such a hardon for his pasty moobs.

Seriously, if you have such a bad daddy-fetish, just fuck your dad and shut the fuck up about it.

>> No.10970757

you're a race of giant people

>> No.10970761

The other guy is all limbs, their shoulders are the same width.

>> No.10970772

On his service file is actually given a kill count of 2

Not very high, but I'm sure it's higher than most world leaders.

>> No.10970780

Scriptarius, I shall send you a malteaser every day from now until you get back.

>> No.10970782

Scripty don't tell any officers about you're nice hand painted portrait of Adolf, it may give you unwanted attention

>> No.10970785

hey, I'll post my picture on 4chan what can possibly be stupid about this.

>rest of the thread googlemaps pictures of my house and posted on /b/ and...oh, wait! Gotta post this on /b/!

>> No.10970790

Yep, that's the school/library
The white thing next to it is the shop

>> No.10970809

Ha, he'll return to dusty envelopes full of crushed chocolates, what a welcome home party

>> No.10970814

>If Russian killing was an Olympic event, the Finns would be gold medalists.
i'd say russia would actually give them a good run for their money, no one kills russians as much as russians do

>> No.10970816

Because /b/ will line up to be your personal army, fly to Finland, and actually do something.

>> No.10970817

1) We're talking about russian documentation, so for all we know the fucker just added it to make his pecker hard.

2) 2? Seriously? I get that most world leaders are career politicians, but we've got vets in our congress/senate that would just look at that and laugh.

>> No.10970818

He is small like the cobra but he will poison you without a second thought.

Lol u mad?

>> No.10970819

Same here man. I live in my own bubble, so to speak. If I went in the army I'd act pretty much like a guardsman. I do that with a LOT of different things.

>> No.10970824

Well I get weekends off so I'll get to eat 5 or so every time I come back
Too bad they'd all melt. It's like 30 degrees in here.

>> No.10970833


That's his released service record.

There's the few hundred who "never existed and thus don't count" to take into consideration too

>> No.10970837

How about if I send you myself script? You can eat me, I come from Malta so I am the biggest Malteaser you can ever eat.

>> No.10970839


You literally want your fathers penis deep, deep in your colon.

>> No.10970857

Officer training + 40k guardsman mentality might not be a good mix.

Now I need to train my combat litanies while wearing a makeshift commissar uniform and waving my sabre around...

>> No.10970869

Holy shit, 6'6".

>> No.10970872


Ok, well if we're going to play that game, I'm single handedly responsible for ending the cold war and I've skullfucked stalin's waxy, preserved corpse. Twice.

What? Proof? Fuck you, that shits sealed by the CIA. But I'm a badass, just trust me.

>> No.10970881

This; 130,000 dead russians? Bah, the Russkies'll kill 13 million of their own in less then five years.

>> No.10970882


The Russians always perfect the sports they play.

>I get that most world leaders are career politicians, but we've got vets in our congress/senate that would just look at that and laugh.

The last "great" leader of the US was a silver spoon fed daddys boy. US is good at bluster but not much else.

>> No.10970885
File: 49 KB, 616x746, Winland.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Russians stay the fuck away from the Finnish these days

>> No.10970898

Honestly man you'd probs ace your officer's tests for inspiring GREAT FINLAND to glorious heights of bravery and action.

You should try it. You might at least get a good laugh out of it, especially if there's any 40k fans in your squad of boyz.

>> No.10970900
File: 39 KB, 640x480, NotSureIfWant.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10970903


IDK man, Bush father fought in the pacific theater in WWII as a fighter pilot

>> No.10970905

I think he would just find that creepy.

>> No.10970921


Tell me what's it like? LOL

>> No.10970930
File: 7 KB, 250x250, emote_1277495655572.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

>I'm getting serious about a joke

>> No.10970932

Oh, in a wargame, if your unit starts to fall back, put on a really fancy officers cap, shoot your platoon's CO (presuming you have MILES gear, if not just say that he's been shot or something) then RALLY THE MEN AND LEAD THEM TO GLORY IN THE NAME OF THE EMPEROR!

And then get beasted everyday.

>> No.10970970

I thought about trying out for military priest, but you need to have actual theological education to qualify.
>You are doing it wrong, soldier.
>Well it WORKED didn't it?

>> No.10970974

Like I said, most. All Bush Jr ever killed was the guys he sent to Iraq/Afghanistan.

....and that chick he ran over in college, but that was covered up.

>> No.10970991


Mene Lämäriksi, puukota mosuja piikeillä.

>> No.10970997

rolled 9, 8, 3 = 20

You should had have this thread sooner Script. Monday is an awfully tight deadline.

>> No.10971007


Random Officer: Padre, is that a chainsaw?!

>> No.10971018


*Soldiers CHARGE! while screaming PERRRRKELEE!!!*

>> No.10971038

Any president should have military experience anyway.

Commander in chief that has fuck all knowledge of the military is retarded position to be in.

>> No.10971047
File: 40 KB, 450x403, Pelican_Stare.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


fuckin' lol

>> No.10971090

Capturing something while armed with a sword would be my personal milestone in all wargames we have.
This is one of the reasons I'd like to be an officer - they get to have swords.
>ok so I bought myself one already, but then I'd get to wear it to parties.

>> No.10971141

Seriously, Scripty, good luck out there.
Not that you'd need it, with the entire Winland army there to back you up.

Time to rain on some Russian parades!

>> No.10971222

You have set it up so someone will come tell us if you die right? ;.;

>> No.10971290
File: 196 KB, 900x673, finnish sword.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

This is what I want to see.
>shitty pic of the kind of sword our officers get

>> No.10971298

If a finnish soldier dies it will make international headlines.

>> No.10971312

Same with sweden, but with Charles XII

>> No.10971337

Bullshit. That's what military advisers are for. The President is Commander in Chief explicitly because the President is a civilian position. Requiring military experience would defeat the entire point.

>> No.10971429

Why don't you try in English? Even though I can type ä without straining, I can't understand your language.

>> No.10971505

Sweden has neo nazis?

>> No.10971522

>Scriptarius: Can I have a copy of the Uplifting Primer?
155 posts later
>Scriptarius: Sweden has neo nazis?

/tg/ - staying on topic is for fags

>> No.10971534

Swedefag here.

Yes, but nobody likes them.

>> No.10971544

Good luck, master conversionfag! You're an inspiration to the rest of us aspiring champions of conversion. We hope you fare admirably in the field of battle. And should you die, may Odin honor you as greatest among his einherjar.

Rock on.

>> No.10971545

Germanfag here. Who the fuck likes neo-nazis anyway, except other neo-nazis?

>> No.10971547
File: 24 KB, 408x281, STO803_wa.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

So who's worse. The nazis or the muslims?

>> No.10971550

I prefer to think of it as using a heuristic topic ranking system to encourage the propagation of useful or entertaining ideas.

But yeah, we can't focus for shit.

>> No.10971563

I'm pretty sure that you don't mean muslims, but islamists. You know, the kind of faggots who take their religion for political value.

>> No.10971567

Ehhh no. If presidents listened to military advisors we wouldn't be thrown into bullshit wars constantly over his own personal problems.

Head of armed forces, should always have served.

>> No.10971568

Southern Americans....

>> No.10971602
File: 453 KB, 1021x1005, nazis and faggots.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

Neo Nazis are the reason we can't have nice nazi-related things.

>> No.10971648

Damn, that tattoo is unbelievable.

Of course, they're as muslim as most christians are christian.

>> No.10971660
File: 33 KB, 646x361, FUCKED IF I KNOW.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]


>> No.10971663
File: 62 KB, 319x465, uniforms.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]

I wish Hugo Boss designed military dress uniforms again.

>> No.10971695

I need to get another set of that shit.

>> No.10971708

My cusin was one, but I think it mainly was to have some friends. We all knew he really wasen't into nazism, immigrant friends and whatnot he had.

tl;dr, yes, we have them.

>> No.10971842

Right, time for a sauna and then football watchan with my friends.
Thanks everyone, especialy >>10970445

>> No.10971947

because the newfags and /b/tards trolled them all away

>> No.10972105

you know i think the aussies and the irish might give you a good run for your money for drunken fighting as well there scripty. we seem to get quite a bit of it happening every day

>> No.10972148

Drinking / Drunk fighting semis would be Finland - Ireland and Australia - UK

>> No.10972207

Germany's quite strong in that department too.

>> No.10976187

Another day nearer the battle,
So drink up my lads and look brave,
'Cos every day nearer the battle
Is another day nearer the grave.

Good luck Script. Emperor preserve you.

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