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>> No.24320138 [View]
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24320138

My guardsman owns a brothel. It was a gift from his inquisitor for not getting himself killed while escorting three psykers as they tried to get shit done. However, she forgot to tell him that this brothel is full of men, and that all the profits go to charity.

So basically my guardsman has a brothel full of gay men named after him.

>> No.16670139 [View]
File: 16 KB, 138x132, Guardsman O SHI.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
16670139

".. YOUZE. Who'z yer kommandin officer?" asks Kroz.
"I'm Stormtrooper Bob, my lord. This is Stormtrooper Jim. The inquisitors are above in Command and Control."
"Youze follow da ordas of da inkyzitter directly?" asks Kroz.
"Yes, my lord, to follow otherwise would be heresy! They work with the God Emperor's Mandate, after all." says Bob.
The stormtrooper then looks at his companion. His companion is shaking in fear. "OH MY GOD EMPEROR! OOOOOOOORKS!" he yells as he runs off screaming.
"...that's odd. What's wrong with Jim?" Bob asks, "I apologize profusely, noble Astartes. I believe he simply hasn't enough sleep."
"We'ze...uh, been 'round Orkz. Collected trophies, 'e probably smelled dose." says Grisbane.
"Wot's with the renovations anyhow?" asks Wurrza.
"Security protocol changes. Nearly fifty years ago, there were a pair of starship thefts out of the station. We're renovating security to ensure it never happens again."

Continuing into the armory, the kill team notes it's mostly hellguns and carapace. They promptly go wild looting as much as they can carry. While looting, they suddenly see a blue light. Investigating, they hear a very familiar voice.

"Got something that might interest ya, heh heh heh..."

>> No.16240069 [View]
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16240069

>>16240050
Ah, gotcha. I might be mistaken, mind, but I'm sure I've seen mentions of something called 'Deffwotch' linked to him.

>> No.15744586 [View]
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15744586

>>15744577

But... they are green.

>> No.15717067 [View]
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15717067

>>15716919

You should really read the Redeemer.

Look it up in /rs/ it is a fine example of how the underhives are.

>> No.15230921 [View]
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15230921

MFW the enemy...

>> No.15143956 [View]
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15143956

>> No.13403804 [View]
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13403804

So, /tg/, tonight I had a realization, and I'm here to confess.

I am a godawful Warhammer 40000 player.

If there are any others of you out there, how do you deal with it?

Pic was mfw my friend, using a half Tau, half DE army made by himself and another friend wiped the table of my Marines and my friend's Orks in four turns.

>> No.13192044 [View]
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13192044

>>13192028
No, you were right, the white stripe in pic = whiteshield conscript.

Sternguard veterans are Space Marines with white helmets.

>> No.11717359 [View]
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11717359

>>11717343
Answers and advice, rather.

>> No.11680110 [View]
File: 16 KB, 138x132, reaction guardsman googly.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] [report]
11680110

What i played.

>> No.11658927 [View]
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11658927

>XXI hantmesi

>> No.10894174 [View]
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10894174

>>10894070
I yield.

>> No.10883341 [View]
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10883341

>>10883290
Fuck. I'm outta here.

>> No.10536451 [View]
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10536451

Didn't you hear me?! YOU'VE LET OUT THE BEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEES

>> No.10164480 [View]
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10164480

>>10164341
Guardsmen Plumpy here, Sir. 103rd Happyland death core.

The Marine was hit by a falling candyflake, all that's left is a smoking creator of sugar and... bits of marine.

They've finished with the Princes, it looks like they were butchering her... Oh Emperor, they have the Queen... NO! NO! NO STOP IT YOU FUCKING MONSTERS! NONONONONO! OH GOD, THEY'RE FUCKING RIPPING HER APART, ONE FUCKING LIMB AT A TIME, NOOOO! THEY'RE... they started fucking her corpse. no. no this isnt happening. send help please send help commanded please.

>> No.10026956 [View]
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10026956

>>10026852

>> No.9842953 [View]
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9842953

>> No.9743200 [View]
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9743200

>>9742961
What

The

Dickens

>> No.9717731 [View]
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9717731

>>9717561

wow oh wow

is there a Chaos god dedicated exclusively to FAIL?

>> No.8712100 [View]
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8712100

WHAT DOES OUR SANCTIONED PYSKER SAY ABOUT HIS WARP POWER?

>> No.8339450 [View]
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8339450

BUT THIS ISN'T EMPORER'S BREATH BRAND GUM!

QUICK! HIDE IT BEFORE THE INQUISITORS SEE!



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