/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.10024586]

Did anyone else dun goof compared to their potential?

>did really well at school, perfect grades, enjoyed my maths and science courses; started reading books for enjoyment at 17, so in retrospect I was at my peak intellectual growth rate relative to my age
>went to nearest university instead of most prestigious one I could have entered (level of uni could have been much worse, but still nowhere near my potential)
>did STEM degree I found boring as fuck (put no thought in to my subject choice)
>ugly nofriends loser all through university; was insanely unhappy while surrounded by attractive normies in their primes
>initially continued doing really well at university despite lacking interest in all courses but motivation eventually went off a cliff
>realised mid-way through my degree that university prestige matters a lot for jobs and also correlates with course difficulty, so even if I got good grades it wouldn't mean much
>my final few years were characterised by less than zero effort and huge amounts of procrastination as I did the absolute bare minimum and horrible work; it was also tough to emotionally come to terms with how much of an ugly loser I was all through university and how the "best period of my life" was ending;
>found r9k and then the incel-blackpill mid-way through uni, which gave me a powerful framework for my utter social failure which hasn't been refuted (if I had ever had a social life at uni, or attention from women ever, that is the point at which I would have stopped being a cringey "nice guy", as a reference point)
>regretted not doing Maths or Physics; the academic level of some of my university courses was pathetic and lowered my motivation further; in the UK you have zero course choice and your maths / physics courses are tarded up by becoming "Diff. Eq. for Biologists" and so on

[Anonymous No.10024587]

>final few years also had me failing huge amounts of internship and then graduate job interviews due to at first awful, then merely below average, social skills
>failed huge amounts of interviews with financial companies (to be in Canary Wharf or the City of London on one day, and then my dull, grey, shitty small town uni the next was crushing)
>ironically, I failed the few interviews I had for jobs related to my subject probably even worse, because they wanted nothing but social skills
>realised that normies go through life in normie filled institutions while being judged by normies based on normieness and I will probably never be successful; in all of my jobs I become the ugly loser autist nobody talks to within one day
>barely graduate with an acceptable grade (2:1)
>post university: no job, humiliating part time retailcuck jobs, semi-prestigious but low paid bureaucrat job in London that miraculously requires no work or time at the office (seriously, and I genuinely wonder if I am being observed as a basic income experiment subject), and will start an even more prestigious, higher paid, higher ranking but still zero skill bureaucrat job soon

Looking back on myself at age 17-21, when I did very well at school and university, I lacked all perspective of the wider contexts behind courses. I could not have told you why I was studying thermodynamic equations or differential equations of springs. I was extremely ignorant of the world. Pop-sci faggotry aimed at kids is laughed at on here but I could have benefited a lot from it. I regret not doing physics.

I gained no study skills. If anything, I have been Pavloved out of working hard because I spent 4 years as an ugly loser who found nothing but crushingly dull and unfulfilling work every time I sat at my desk and tried to be productive, though I don't want to renounce my free will. I used to just do work with no drama.

[Anonymous No.10024591]

I vividly remember one day when I went in to the shiny attractive normie filled library and couldn't bring myself to do a report. It sounds minor but it felt new at the time and the day had really bland weather. I was in on a weekend, so the library was nearly empty. It really captured the sterility of the place. My mind is stuffed with university memories like that with every gloss you can think of. Unhappy sunny days (which is when the university campus would magically be stuffed with Chads and Staceys), unhappy snowy days, unhappy during Christmas break, spring break, summer holidays, early mornings, late nights, exam time, and so on; in all the university buildings, the run down ones and the new ones. The start of every new term, when the streets were filled with happy students and the freshers (new students) fair was like a carnival (which I could never bring myself to enter), was always bad.

To summarise my past 4 years, I have wasted the huge majority of my free time on the internet, while avoiding anything productive (I don't include reading or going to the gym as productive) (except for about 5 weeks worth of productive activity). I waste a lot of my free time by aimlessly walking around and hoping that my 20s spontaneously stop feeling wasted. I binge on junk food and coffee almost every day, which rapes my bank account, and usually tell myself it is the last time. My main two goals as I wait for my new job to start are: giving up coffee and junk food and regaining the ability to do anything productive in my free time.

[Anonymous No.10024594]

I feel sad to not have any expertise. I still apply for jobs. But I am still totally unsure of what to do with my life. In the UK, if you didn't go to private school or Oxbridge you are already on the verge of failure. If you are not any of posh accented, a normie, or extroverted, you are basically fucked. That is me. (I am also fully blackpilled and realise the extreme easiness of all womens' and Chads' lives.) People the same age as me could have finished university, and a PhD, and become lecturers. Or become investment banking vice presidents or senior software engineers. I am not a total failure, but I am on the slow lane. I find working 9-5, when I did do it, absolutely life crushing, which at least proves I am not an NPC.

One final note: The only truly lingering and bitter sadness and anger I have is the thought of my beginning of university 18 year old self, with shitty clothes, shitty haircut, completely dyel, zero university experience, barely any social experience, feeling sad about being a lonely loser.

[Anonymous No.10024599]

>>10024586
I did. I was so blinded by rage I abandoned all my studies in pursuit of ultimate vengeance.

So great was my fury I dug into every possible available text that would aid me unfurl pure wrath at my hated enemies. I dug for absolute obliteration of them and their kin. I bypassed every code of conduct. Every absolute and twisted it to suit my needs. In my journey I found wondrous things, up to and including how to heal and more and yet they were all spoiled bitter by this seed of hatred I had been planted with.

Now they and their kin sit smugly at the top. Thinking nothing can strike them from below. This is what I count on. They would never expect anything from anywhere else.

As the old adage goes. It's the punch you do not see that gets you and I have prepared a barrage.

^-^

[Anonymous No.10024640]

>>10024586
Yep. Aced Math and Physics at school but ended up getting a CS degree.

[Anonymous No.10024653]

College fag here, OP, who is studying Maths and Physics and wants to hopefully work in academia after grad school.

I am touched by what you said, OP. I am pretty much everything you regretted not doing or being, except maybe one. I am one of those Asian, manlet ugly fag surrounded by white kids at their prime attractiveness. Maybe makes me sort of jealous at my down times, but it does not bother me, 9/10 are nice people, and good friends with many. I am, however, really focused in school.
The thing though OP is that you sound pretty smart and self-aware. I know, I am pulling therapist bullshit here but you still can achieve your potential. As a maths guy, I feel that (and you might agree) the biggest thing we can do as rational, conscious human beings in our rather limited time in Earth is to learn. not for achieving glory or money (sometimes you have to do it, you gotta eat for example) but learning just for the sake of it. It's a beautiful thing. I have noticed you reiterate that you regret not studying Physics. I think you should really pick a book and start working through in your free time. It's so much fun. Or just math. the proofy courses in math like analysis, abstract algebra, are remarkable to say the least.

and looking back at things and pitying yourself is not healthy and honestly just pitiful. It's an endless cycle of pity. Don't do that, OP. Do well in life. By well, I mean, "well" as defined by you, not the normies' definition. And I feel like it's about time you define/re-define a good life for yourself. I am rooting for you, man.

[Anonymous No.10024667]

>>10024586
>>10024587
>>10024591
>>10024594
What was your goal in life (during your developing years)? Did you have any goal beyond trying to make a good living for yourself?

[Anonymous No.10024674]

>londonfrog posts on /sci/
fugg

[Anonymous No.10024740]

>>10024591
I can relate. I would look around campus and think the facades of the buildings were so pretty, but inside there was nothing for me. For other people they had good memories in these buildings with friends. There was some depth there for them, but for me they were just hollow, empty boxes.

[Anonymous No.10024793]

>>10024594
>>10024591
>>10024587
>>10024586
this is too relatable, I'm in my 3rd year, but I know what you're talking about. Sometimes I just think my life was supposed to end after I turned 18.

[Anonymous No.10024801]

>>10024591
>I don't include reading or going to the gym as productive
>>Thread
What do you guys consider 'productive'?

[Anonymous No.10024810]

>my tl;dr narcissistic feels rant is science related because I'm a university student

[Anonymous No.10024839]

>>10024801
You can look at it two ways
Productivity is measured as time spent producing strictly measurable value for society
or
Productivity is measured as time spent improving that which can produce value for society or producing value for society.
I tend towards the second provided improvement is not entirely at expense of providing value, since improvement is an investment in providing more future value.

[Anonymous No.10024840]

>>10024586
>Developed MS-like symptoms ~12.
>Not MS
>Bipolar-like stuff begins.
>Do lots of adderall 15 - 16. Crude antidepressant. Finally felt peace when I realized I could kill myself.
>Trigeminal neuralgia ~16
>Drink heavily until early 19.
>Problems that began ~12 come to fruition, lose the ability eat. Most food consumed scrambles or alters my mind in various ways, causes resting heart rate to rise to ~130bpm and remain there for 6-8 hours. Live for 3 months or so like this.
>Learn to avoid certain foods ingredients. Add on food allergy test as heuristic.
>Stop eating processed food, simply because it rarely met the proper criteria. Later understand it's poison anyway.
>Life is a haze of crippling raw burning pain, cacao, alcohol. Can't go out in the sunlight without massive drop in blood pressure. Basic exertion is exhausting, can barely put together thoughts half the time, dread eating. Generally starve, use cacao to upregulate lipolysis and make it easier to run on ketones. In the course of that year go from 130lbs - 90. Am becoming very interested in my visual snow. Descend into ontology / epistemology and begin to heavily distort experience of reality to remain functional while part of me waited for my body to wither away.
>Dissociative tendencies from childhood naturally take over and my mind splinters into pieces.
>Health problems don't show. I don't tell anyone the fuller truth for fear that if it isn't only in my head, I won't be able to control it and will deal with altered treatment.

[Anonymous No.10024843]

>>10024840
>Some people come back ~ 20. I suppose at this point I did what I feel almost programmed to do, create a shell personality, funnel into it, and use it as a layer to filter and generate output while omitting the bulk of the truth. Slowly bury my memories (strip associative links facilitating recall) until eventually I wake up one day and realize I don't remember much of anything about myself. This seemed to help with anxiety. Am driven to misery by being treated like someone I'm not. Feel trapped and unable to break out of it. Unable to find the means to even want to try. It's like there was a wall, and I just followed the script. Shit got real strange, real fast.
>Am pushing my mind to its mechanical limits developing a story.
>Struggle daily with my fragmented mind. Trying to do anything makes me lock down, my vision goes dark, and that's the end of it. Consider ending it all yet again if I could find the mental clarity. Have many strange and profound dreams nightly.
>Had been in a mentally deconstructed state, start trying to drag my way back to some sort of core stability and rebuild something of myself.
>Nerve pain is still an omnipresent companion.
>Rapidly gain and lose skills. Feel mentally suppressed and years behind where I ought to be.
>~22 father dies.
>A lot happens.

[Anonymous No.10024847]

>>10024843
24 now. I'm not actually sure howthe me that exists today came about. For the longest time I felt like a crude knockoff with someone else's memories, but they're now feeling more like mine. Nerve pain is better these days due to various herbs and dietary patterns. Digestive system is fucked and resembles leaky gut / IBS-C. My memory is failing bit by bit. Used to have near photographic recollection of everything in a given day. Maybe I just don't give a damn anymore and am letting go, but I feel something else.

I've seen quite a bit. I predicted my lifespan would be 20 - 25 when I was 12. This prophecy has been embedded as an underlying truth for most of my life. A constant theme is that I'm too late. And here as well, I probably took too long to solve. I kind of just want it to be over. I'm not so afraid anymore.

I don't like to trace a line through my life like that, and I don't connect much with the past. I could tell myself that I did my best, but I could have done a lot more. Not so easy when you find anything you build is ready taken away.

[Anonymous No.10025048]

>>10024586
I know you are in a rut, and it fucking sucks I know. Moping around the place - being constantly alone in the face in all the normals. The world however doesn't give a damn about you nor I nor anything for that matter. Do not feel sad of your potential, for everyone has potential and most of humanity wastes it. Even a poor african child, provided even the glimpse of success can be overcome by the drive to rise to levels that surpass those around him. It isn't over yet. There's something in this world that rivals even intelligence - that is grit. As though any genius would be able to be able to create a new field of math. Just look at here - look anywhere really. There's plenty of geniuses in academia and in the workplace. Some people mistakenly assume that mensa is some form of elite club when statistically, at least 6 million people are eligible to join. The competition is fierce - millions of people from other worlds that come to the west to work their soul into providing something for their descendants. The US has a monopoly of geniuses that come to their homeland for a future. I am ranting here, but look at Mochizuki. It wasn't raw intelligence that got him where he was - it wasn't sticking his dick in some succubus' hole. It was pure stubbornness and love for math.

The issue is that you've forgotten your ways. The blackpill is a bullshit used to lure young spirits into the pit of self-pity. What you need to do is assume the spirit of the warhog. No matter how remarkably absurd your situation is - if you are breathing, if you aren't mentally retarded, if there is an internet source or fuck, a library near you, nothing can stop you from acquiring knowledge.

You can foolishly wallow in your lack of ability to have fleeting relationships and physical pleasure, or you can devote your spirit to the madness of knowledge. Potential? Bah! You are still competing with geniuses that work 40 hr work days gravelling for something they may never find.

[Anonymous No.10025063]

>>10025048
Point being - if a pack of normaltards dissuaded you as well as a bureaucracy apathetic to its students, what makes you think you would've survived even a second doing something that requires true creativity and the constant treading on uncertainty? You were but spared of a larger embarrassment prior to your same fate if you were to have chosen a good school with your current resolve.

Point still, there is nothing stopping you from still glancing to the sun. It isn't as if there is much else to lose if you care about this "potential" thing so much. There's plenty of boomers and shit that failed algebra in college and went back to learning math in their far later years of life. They simply learned to be stubborn and humble enough to push against the face of sanity.

[Anonymous No.10025365]

>>10024587
So you currently make money for little effort is what I'm getting?
That ain't too bad, I'd be some what content with a life like that.

[Anonymous No.10025442]

>>10024586

Having many critics inside your mind.
Advantages:
- self-awareness of the present state
- examination of the current fitness of your lifestyle
- the concept of time is one of the main priorities
- being conscious of the underlying problems that needs to be solved

Disadvantages:
- the feeling of self-helplessness kicks in (when problems are overwhelming)
- having many critics is exhausting
- when the problems are left unsolved, depression dominates
- anything doesn't makes sense


Having less critics inside your mind.
Advantages:
- the state of flow occurs
- the concept of time disappears
- anything makes sense

Disadvantages:
- Every solution feels good even though it's problematic.
- Examination of the current fitness of your lifestyle becomes an irrelevant issue.
- Lack of attention of the problems that will grow worse in the future.


Humans are not optimized for intelligence. The path to creativity requires welcoming the many critics of your mind, and it's a rather painful process. And to last long in this game of life, you also need to shutdown these critics to produce anything remarkable.

[Anonymous No.10025443]

not science or math

[Anonymous No.10025512]

>always did great in school
>tested 134 IQ
>develop depression
>turn into a fucking heroin junkie for a while
>now I'm an alcoholic NEET

[Anonymous No.10025531]

Absolutely.

>got into computers and building shit early as fuck as a child
>mom dies when I was 12
>grandmother at 14
>my mind splinters and I spiral into a 13 year depression where I literally live my life on the computer trying to escape reality
>drop out of school, go to college for fucking welding
Currently 25 and turning my life around now that I've realized my potential and gotten my shit straight but god damn I see what I could have been and just go "fuck". I basically raised myself during my teenage years and I did a piss poor job at it.

[Anonymous No.10025542]

>>10025531
A bit more to this, during those teenage years I did a lot of self studying, 3d modeling, programming, whatever but I was so damaged I didn't really apply what I was learning very well and also didn't realize that I was learning all this shit way quicker than other people do, since I had no one else to reference off of. When I joined society and the workforce I realized how self learning doesn't mean shit to anyone and without going to college everyone treats you like a literal mouth breathing retard, it's so infuriating.

[Anonymous No.10025580]

The only reason I went to university is because I thought it was my best change at getting gf.
my life is a fucking joke.

[Anonymous No.10025645]

>>10025442
(continued)

How to increase these mental critics?
- The emotions of shame, jealousy, envy, fear and self-dissatisfaction are the most powerful triggers to increase these mental critics. Most people think those emotions are harmful, stupid or useless, but they the are prerequisite to do novel things.
Intelligent people have a very high quality standards and that's why they're very prone to self-dissatisfaction and shame.

How to decrease these mental critics?
- A strong dopamine hit can eliminate these critics in a mere seconds. Most people strive to have less mental critics to enjoy life. Alcohol is also a very popular drug for temporary suicide (to forget those intense problems that are in a state of emergency). You can also do this in any other mind-altering drugs.

[Anonymous No.10025652]

>>10025645
- The trick is to get the *right* source of dopamine hit a.k.a pleasure. The quality of the dopamine hit of a certain activity depends of how useful that activity towards your goal.
As for my case (I'm a programmer), the pleasure of programming is the most important in the world than the pleasure of consuming mindless entertainments. For example, I need to be a programming addict instead of a gaming addict or a heroin addict. It would also be more effective if I view these gamers (or normies in general) as subhumans who are not yet proved to be conscious at all. The emotion of excessive pride and arrogance also helps you get motivated to do the unnatural actives like learning and self-improvement (but showing them to the world is a dumb idea). It would also help if you're in a community of like minded people since they create useful memes to infect my brain (these memes later create a culture). But the greatest advice is to avoid dumb people/environment EVER since they create dumb memes that infects your brain like a virus subconsciously. Like the gf meme, or a popular-at-school meme, or the social-approval meme, or the sex-and-money meme or even the red-pill meme. Every human activity, good or bad, except mathematics, must come to an end.

[Anonymous No.10025664]

>>10025652
damn this is good shit anon, I feel like this is something I've already been practicing on a subconcious level

[Anonymous No.10025707]

>>10025652
I'm assuming you're talking about memes in the original sense, not the one that is commonly used today?

[Anonymous No.10025721]

>>10025652
its been proved that dopamine has no relation to pleasure faggot

[Anonymous No.10025752]

>>10024586
If you are doing undergrad, college prestiege ultimately doesn't matter if it did CC transfers wouldn't exist.

[Anonymous No.10025769]

>>10025707
Yes, the word meme is a very broad concept.
Meme is an idea, behavior, or style that spreads from one person to another.
The structure of the modern complex world is impossible without these memes.
But it's not about getting rid of memes, it's about choosing the right memes to infect your brain with.
Pure IQ and 100% dedication are not enough without the consumption of science-related memes.
That is why the ancient Leonardo da Vinci has no match for an average modern physics student.

The problem is that the dumb memes are dominating the world and it can be used as a tool to make intellectuals feel inferior.
When in a dumb environment, no intellectual can protect themselves from these dumb memes. Just like no perfectly healthy person can instruct his/her brain to avoid hearing a dumb music.
That's why you should avoid dumb environments in the first place. That's why reputable universities are great, not because they are reputable but because smart individuals gather there.

[Anonymous No.10025798]

>>10024586
I know how you feel. I am 28 and went from star student (with most professors in college encouraging me to aim higher whatever I did) to a loser shut in due to my poor social skills. Maybe you are going to laugh at me for this, but what gave me some respite was converting to Christianity several months ago. I've started studying and applying for jobs again, even though my CV is fucked due to many inactivity gaps.

[Anonymous No.10025805]

Same.
But it's not too late. Time was wasted but there's still time left.

[Anonymous No.10025831]

>>10025798
The hardest step will be for you to forgive yourself for your failings, because the rut you are in is entirely your own fault. After you have forgiven yourself, you will find that it is easier to give yourself another chance at life.
What has worked for me was realising that suffering is a good thing, it is proof of God's love (I read Gravity and Grace, by Simone Weil, and after that I delved deeper into Christianity and platonism), that I needed to be meek/humble to move forward. Or maybe I'm just deluding myself. But my feeling better and working to fix my life now is a fact, and I find it very difficult to ascribe it to anything else, as nothing else had worked prior (including drugs).

[Anonymous No.10025842]

>>10024586
>realised mid-way through my degree that university prestige matters a lot for jobs
it really doesn't 2bh, having connections even in low grade institutions will further your employment prospects way more than a certificate from a prestigious uni. Prestige is just an american meme promulgated by ivy league söyboys.

[Anonymous No.10025844]

>>10025798
>>10025831
>cucktianity
(Cringe + Bluepilled)^infinity

[Anonymous No.10025852]

>>10024586
>>10024587
Ah yes, the typical "I am so smart that I couldn't even bother to get good grades on an uni below my potential"

I love reading cope like this, it's really amazing the lengths the ego will go to to protect itself. Hopefully you end up livestreaming your suicide when reality finally breaks your ego.

[Anonymous No.10025868]

>>10024810
/sci/ is essentially /acedemia general/ and that's fine

[Anonymous No.10025871]

>>10024586
Nah. Every year I feel like the previous years were the peak of my intellectual life, but I then realize that I have never stopped improving.

[Anonymous No.10025891]

>>10024586
Maybe you aren't as smart as you think you are :^)

[Anonymous No.10025959]

Such sad stories from everyone here. I'm in uni, double degree in engineering and science and I'm happy with it. I'm 20, I enjoy it (I especially enjoy how relaxing the science is). I'm not extraverted, I'm even anti-social, but I also see the good sides to being socially practiced. Something I'm worried about is my morals, I practice Machiavellianism when it suits me, within the realms of my own definition of morality. For example I don't see it as immoral to use people for my own benefit as long as they aren't directly negatively affected.
Something I'm lucky for is having a long term girlfriend, I think it's useful, especially for someone who isn't socially inclined, and I think it's what stopped me from having a cringy phase in my later teens.

To some of you in this thread with a lot of regrets: it's never too late to start being who you want to be. Upgrade your mental tool kit, get a routine going, read every day, excercise, study what you would really enjoy rather than what you feel obliged to do. As well as the above, very importantly, network, meet new people, make people like you. It's ridiculously important to hone your social skills and to know people. That's just my take though, and I'm still young.

[Anonymous No.10025969]

>>10025542
It's infuriating, but also more fair, if you work hard for 4 years on a degree and an honours project you'd probably be a bit annoyed if your jobs were being taken by self taught people.

Your story here though: >>10025531, is just bad luck, I don't think you dun goofed your potential and it's all you could have done to realise and turn your life around when you got oriented.

[Anonymous No.10025970]

>>10025580
Lmao, don't look for girls at unis, go to cooking classes or something more casual where the girls you meet might focus on you more, otherwise it's hard to put yourself into their life.

[Anonymous No.10026314]

>>10024586
I blame the dietary advice. At 30+ I realized I could be 50% lower body weight without even being hungry.
Motherfuckers fucked me up at my prime; if I weren't fat and sick I would excel after 15.
Up to 12-15 I was very slim, healthy and extremely smart for that age.

[Anonymous No.10026428]

>>10026314
What dietary advice?

[Anonymous No.10026677]

>>10024586
>be me
>18
Was about to go off about my life story, but eff it, life is life and that's how it be. I'm just a guy doing his thing trying his best, like most everyone else. Hope you anons are doing alright.

[Anonymous No.10027966]

>>10025969
I mean theres far more to it than that, but no one needs my sob story. But I definitely own a little responsibility.

[Anonymous No.10027978]

>tfw getting a CS degree
>tfw have a 2.65 GPA
>tfw taking 5 years to graduate
>tfw have zero internships and aren't even that good of a programmer
How fucked am I?

[Anonymous No.10027995]

>>10024653
learning just for the sake of it is just the same as jerking off

[Anonymous No.10028014]

>>10027978
Positively screwed.

[lamarr No.10028056]

>>10025048
>40 hr work days
kek

>>10025063
>what makes you think you would've survived even a second doing something that requires true creativity and the constant treading on uncertainty?
I disagree. You can train yourself to have a certain mindset, throught meditation and awareness. Also you can remind yourself about virtues. Resolve isnt something you just have. Virtues are something you need to train.

>They simply learned to be stubborn and humble enough to push against the face of sanity.
this is a good description.

... underrated

[Anonymous No.10028073]

>>10024586
>started reading books for enjoyment at 17
Is this supposed to be impressive?

[Anonymous No.10028080]

>>10028014
Should I just drop out at this point? What should I do with my life
>inb4 kys

[Anonymous No.10028083]

>>10028056
>>40 hr work days
>kek
The actual range obviously ranges too with some people that are particularly inspirational working a fair 20-30 hours, while others working 50-60. A lot of these people are still following up with new publications and thinking about physics on their free time. The main part of the job though is the sheer lack of direction you are bound to feel - especially in the face of the several open questions in physics. Still though I could have probably used someone like Terrence Tao (who used to study math 4 hours a day since at least the age of 10)

>I disagree. You can train yourself to have a certain mindset, throught meditation and awareness. Also you can remind yourself about virtues. Resolve isnt something you just have. Virtues are something you need to train.
I completely agree, but I'd argue that you still have to have a certain level of base resolve if you want to train your resolve further. If you turn into a wreck from normies, you'd probably lack the motivation to even harness these traits. It is still an important thing to remember.

...thank you

>>10028073
I decided to ignore that one since I started reading non-fiction before I was 5 lmao. Also plays further to what I am talking about. You'd have people like Rick Rosner that'd read newspapers at the age of three, but where has he gone to since? He wasted his adult years wondering around in a state of inferiority complex from high school to high school.

[lamarr No.10028094]

>>10028083
>The actual range obviously
sry i was just laughing about the days not weeks, thanks for elaborating anyways.

>Still though I could have probably used someone like Terrence Tao
Are you a mathematician ?

[Anonymous No.10028096]

>>10024586
Lol this was my story too, used to be really driven to achieve than stopped caring once I reached uni when I realized I was a beta loser that no-one liked.

[Anonymous No.10028105]

>>10025652
I can project my view on your posts: we are all addicts, need to learn to get addicted to the best possible things while replacing the bad ones.

[Anonymous No.10028202]

>>10028094
I want to be a mathematician. Also holy shit, kek, now I see what I said wrong lmao.

[Anonymous No.10029722]

OP if you're still here I'd just like to thank you for writing all this. I'm a freshman in a situation somewhat similar to yours. Your college/post-college life is exactly what I fear may happen to me. I'm not going to write out my story, but just know that your posts have reignited within me a passion for self-betterment and the desire to fulfill my potential.