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/sci/ - Science & Math

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9860249 No.9860249 [Reply] [Original]

I feel like a fraud. I'm a year away from getting my masters in engineering and I feel like I've cheated my way here. I barely pass my exams, I get help from older students on a lot of labs, I haven't even taught myself to code decently so usually I skim off pals or end up modifying older students code slightly. I have no idea how I've got this far but I fear getting a job and they then figure out what a idiot I am. I really don't think this is imposter syndrome either. What do I do /sci/? Should I just double down on studies until I turn out a half decent student?

>> No.9860283

Get an internship.

>> No.9860326

>>9860283
At a company? After I (hopefully) graduate you mean?

>> No.9860337

>>9860326
Before you graduate, dingus. You'll gain some confidence when you learn what you're expected to know and what you're not (interns are generally approached with rather low expectations), and you'll actually be employable later on instead of having a blank resumee.

>> No.9860343

>>9860337
Sorry, internships are not a common practice in my country so that's probably not an option for me.

>> No.9860346

>>9860249
I wasn't a good student either and I'm doing it fine I guess, you'll figure it out after you graduate the important thing is that you find your passion in your career.

And the fact that you recognize your own mistakes tells that maybe you are not as stupid as you think

>> No.9860356

>>9860346
Thanks for the words of confidence man. I just feel that I'm unable to express logical thought when it comes to mathematical thinking. I have slacked off a lot but I'm not sure how to fix it. I feel that I've never honestly studied a day in my life and that I do not know how to start. I'm giving G.E.B a try currently, hoping it would awake something in me. I just feel strange when I've performed worse than the normies in my class for 4 years in a row now. Am I dumber than them or is it because I have not put in the hours? I am very well aware that I am not a genius but at least I thought myself to be slightly above average.

>> No.9860366

>>9860356
It took me 5 tries to pass Calc 1. I passed MultiVarCalc in 1 try afterwards so I'm not completely subhuman I just don't know what I'm doing wrong. Is it too late for me now? I'm 23 years old I hope I still have room to grow.

>> No.9860367

>>9860343
Neither are here so I actually had to pay a company to take me in for few months.
Like you need something on your resume.

>> No.9860384

>>9860367
My resume is alright, I've spent some summers working for some companies but no mathematical tasks were tasked to me.

>> No.9860408

you reap what you sow

repent now and all will be forgiven

>> No.9860440

>>9860408
How do I repent?

>> No.9860451

>>9860440
repentnowDOTcom

>> No.9860466

>>9860451
Fuck off man. I am not interested.

>> No.9860535

>>9860249
it sounds like you dont know what you want. i identify with your story a lot. it took me about 5 years of exploration after i graduated to figure out what i wanted. now im about to start phd program.

overall you havent realized that youre going to die, that your actions have consequences, and that you can amount to something if you put in effort. you probably care more about people thinking you are smart than having a genuine understanding. that was me for a long time at least.

also bear in mind that the university environment can be genuinely stifling because
1) everything you do and study is dictated by someone else
2) you are always on somebody elses schedule

i left uni feeling like a fraud and a failure (even though i was above average physics student at good us university). after a few years of self induced difficulty i started to realize that i actually do get to decide how i use my time.

read the 7 habits of highly effective people. that book changed my life forever.

>> No.9860544

>>9860466
kek

>> No.9860673

>>9860535
You are correct, I have been more concerned about seeming smart than actually being smart.

Thank you for the book tip. I will check it out!

>> No.9860775

>>9860249
Get an internship, doesn’t even matter if paid or not.

Get an idea of what you will be doing in your field of study. Take a semester off or 2 maybe.

>> No.9860785

>>9860249
sounds like impostor syndrome anon.

>> No.9860790

>>9860785
Doesn't me knowing about impostor syndrome make me resistant to it? Could it just be low self confidence?

>>9860673
I'll see what I can do.

>> No.9860800

>>9860790
>Doesn't me knowing about impostor syndrome make me resistant to it? Could it just be low self confidence?
ABSOLUTELY NOT. it can make you aware of what it is you have, and help you connect with the fact that it's common at this level, but just knowing what something is doesnt make you immune to it. The simple fact is you couldnt have gotten to where you are without trying and working hard, all of your claims of being lazy or ripping off of people still requires effort, and isn't even that bad, hell people collaborate all the time, borrowing other's ideas or protocols with their permission isnt necessarily bad. I dunno unless you are flat out cheating, which you know if you are or not and have to be honest with yourself, you just have impostor syndrome i feel. I feel the exact same way in my PhD program but then remember all the fucking work i have put in, it's just easy to forget sometimes, especially with the amount of weed i smoke

>> No.9861043
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9861043

Just get a job. You barely need any of the shit you learn in school anyways, anything you do you can always look up. Fake it until there and then be relieved by the fact that most engineering jobs are boring, monotonous affairs that don't require much thought and be glad you didn't fake your way through CS or actuarial science or anything math heavy where you actually need to use what you learn.

>> No.9861057
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9861057

>>9861043
>CS
>you actually need to use what you learn

>> No.9861555

>>9860800
Alright, thanks man!
>>9861043
It is kind of math heavy but we'll see what I can do.