CS student humor thread

[Anonymous No.9741767]

[Anonymous No.9741788]

[Anonymous No.9742354]

>CS student
>Humour

[Anonymous No.9742459]

[Anonymous No.9742719]

bump nigga

[Anonymous No.9742940]

Not sure if it counts as CS, but /agdg/ is a great source of people who think things like abstract classes are too complex to use in anything other that operating systems. Pic related was replying to a guy recommending some CS textbooks.

[Anonymous No.9742945]

>This is the mentality of people who program now

[Anonymous No.9742993]

>>9742459
lol the last one

[Anonymous No.9742998]

>>9742940
Holy fuck this makes me reeeeeee

[Anonymous No.9743002]

>>9742459
lmao, the last one is cringy

just divide by 100...

[Anonymous No.9743004]

>>9742940
Copy Pasting from Stack overflow...

Too retarded to understand books...

[Anonymous No.9743020]

[Anonymous No.9743025]

[Anonymous No.9743031]

[Anonymous No.9743035]

[Anonymous No.9743036]

[Anonymous No.9743039]

[Anonymous No.9743041]

[Anonymous No.9743042]

[Anonymous No.9743045]

[Anonymous No.9743048]

[Anonymous No.9743084]

>>9743048
havent seen this guy in like 2 months. I wonder if hes OK.

[Anonymous No.9743115]

>>9743025
Is this actually real?

[Anonymous No.9743121]

>>9743115
Some guy made it as a joke on his devianart, then after it became so popular and a meme he put it on his site as a real resume as well.

[Anonymous No.9743440]

>>9743002
Can any of you explain why the result is wrong?

[Anonymous No.9743462]

>>9742940
post the j*7 one

[Anonymous No.9743467]

[Anonymous No.9743471]

>>9743440
Because you are trying to do a decimal calculation in binary so there is a slight rounding error. The more operations you do, the more apparent it is.

[Anonymous No.9743473]

>>9742940
I've seen people give that advice (self-teaching coding) multiple times on /sci/

[Anonymous No.9743485]

>>9743471
More or less, I guess I meant why it happens that the other solution is better.

1. 12.34 == 1234 / 100
2. 12.34 == 1234 * .01
3. 12.34 != 1234 * .1 * .1
4. 1234 == 12.34 * 100

12.34 is the canon representation of that decimal number, but it's not exact because it is binary.

[Anonymous No.9743719]

>>9743048
>tfw i was in the original thread

feels like a piece of history

[Anonymous No.9743745]

>>9742945
>caring
Crawl is pretty good

[Anonymous No.9743853]

>>9743485
The other solution is better because it is simpler (better) code and less operations mean 1 less rounding that has to be done, making it more precise.

[Anonymous No.9743883]

>>9741767

[Anonymous No.9743885]

>>9743025

[Anonymous No.9743981]

>>9742945
>programming and computing is a complete shitshow full of flaws and retardation decades-long
>developers are spending their intellectual energy seriously considering shit like this

[Anonymous No.9744129]

>>9743048
anyone have a link to that game?

[Anonymous No.9744490]

>>9743745
I dont get why people like crawl so much, for the amount of praise it gets it has the worst UI ever and the game itself is pretty standard.

[Anonymous No.9744530]

>>9743853
>rounding
???????????>?>?>?>>>>>??????><??????

[Anonymous No.9744532]

>>9744129
Theres a thread on the other chans agdg board with links, the demo is outdated though, I dont think it you can lure lolies with candy in it yet.

[Anonymous No.9744547]

>>9744530
Are you retarded? He's correct.

[Anonymous No.9744563]

>>9743440
Because 1/n is only finite if n divides base^k for some power k aka n has only prime factors of the base.

[Anonymous No.9744584]

>>9741767
>>>/g/65956748

[Anonymous No.9745456]

[Anonymous No.9745561]

>it's another physishit-is-so-insecure-about-his-employability-he-feels-the-itching-urge-to-shit-on-a-major-he-knows-jack-shit-avout episode

[Anonymous No.9745565]

>>9741788
O(1) algorithms are usually pretty slow. Big O is a matter of scalability, not raw speed.

[Anonymous No.9745569]

>>9743002
Holy shit, you're retarded.

[Anonymous No.9745592]

>>9742459
>getting so btfo in some argument that you take screenshots, include them in your salt-meme, and then find some stupid people to put them alongside.

[Anonymous No.9745760]

>>9745456
>find all the odd numbers between 0 and 100
Why? Did the interviewer lose them?

[Anonymous No.9745848]

>that one webdev with a shit-ton of experience but can't find all odd numbers between 0-100 because his skill in mathematics is not high enough
This kind of people plagues CS and I hate it.

[Anonymous No.9745853]

>>9745848
Meant to reply to >>9745456

[Anonymous No.9745867]

>>9745848
>self-taught programmers
>CS
What's the connection?

[Anonymous No.9745878]

>>9743025
Why would you do this? It's a CV, not an invitation to a party

[Anonymous No.9745897]

>>9745456
Surely this is a joke. Web devs are fucking retards. Autistic soilads making 100k a year and calling themselves engineers and don't even know what modulo is

[Anonymous No.9745899]

>>9745456
I have no idea how I'd do the deck of cards one but I can do that others easily.
I don't even know what a deck of cards looks like. How would you do this? Can someone help?

I'd fails this interview and the anon would make fun of me...

[Anonymous No.9745901]

>>9745456
HOLY FUCK

Literally

for n : input print n where n % 2 == 1


LITERALLY 3RD GRADE MATH

[Anonymous No.9745927]

>>9745760
Surprisingly, a lot of CS students I meet can't find solutions to problems like these. A lot of them have issues with division problems. Somewhere around 20% of my classmates couldn't figure out how to produce a random number and find what percentage of 125 it was. My degree is a meme

[Anonymous No.9745940]

>>9745927
how would you do this ?
X mod 125 and then you have to bitshift and multiply by 25?

I hate this. I could do it on google

[Anonymous No.9745942]

>>9745867
This, basically >>9745927

[Anonymous No.9745947]

>>9745940
Not the guy you replied to, but it depends on where you want the random number to come from.

Library call cool? Use it. I'm an embedded space? Use the clock timer.

Then take that random number, multiply it by 125, then divide by 100. Pretty simple

[Anonymous No.9745951]

>>9743025
I remember when I thought this was impressive a few years ago

[Anonymous No.9745969]

>>9745947
Why not divide by 125 multiply by 100

[Anonymous No.9746007]

>>9745947
These are people that don't know that dividing two numbers produces a percentage. Discussing different RNGs with them would be overkill. Math courses past Reading Rainbow 1050 should be mandatory

[Anonymous No.9746008]

>>9745899
There's a whole kind of algorithms for this problem (see "Shuffing Algorithms"), but you can always improvise by assigning a random number to each card in the deck and then apply sorting. I think that's the approach that candidate took. Better than nothing I guess.

[Anonymous No.9746009]

>>9743025
That's actually a pretty impressive resume for someone that young.

[Anonymous No.9746018]

>>9743039
That deserves a ban though.

[Anonymous No.9746019]

>>9742459
>>9743025
>>9743031
>>9743048
>>9745456
These are really awful, though I'm pretty sure the interview one is straight up lies. This isn't the norm for top unis though right? If I go to Oxford for CS next term (have an offer) will I be surrounded by btec mathematicians and losers?

[Anonymous No.9746028]

>>9746019
probably not. These are most likely immigrants or coding bootcamp attendees

[Anonymous No.9746046]

>>9746009
It's fucking likeable as well, it's just the thought of someone sending this to apply for an actual job that makes it funny.

[Anonymous No.9746162]

>>9745897

I'm a web dev and I find the ineptitude pretty ridiculous too. No professional web dev I work with would struggle with these.

Maybe the issue isn't web devs?

[Anonymous No.9746187]

>>9745565
that's what she said

[Anonymous No.9746371]

>>9743853
>rounding for anything but trivial idle conversation about price values involving cents

[Anonymous No.9746377]

>>9745561
>stale bait is stale.

[Anonymous No.9746378]

>>9746371
>rounding as an inherent function of a numerical data type

[Anonymous No.9746523]

>>9746162
...nah, it's probably web devs. Web devs tend to be the most "self taught" (read: watch a couple youtube videos and learn how to copy code line for line, unable to think critically or implement custom solutions).

There's also two npm packages for nodejs called isOdd and isEven, with 10,000 downloads per *week*. Again, web devs. Name another sector of software development where this would happen.

[Anonymous No.9746541]

>>9746523
The isOdd and isEven packages are not equivalent to just using (n % 2 === 0) and (n % 2 === 1), you absolute brainlet.

[Anonymous No.9746549]

>>9746541
You're right, they're exactly that but with error checking too :^) wuaw

[Anonymous No.9746706]

>>9746541
is-even is actually even simpler than that you double brainlet.

[Anonymous No.9746716]

>>9746541
>n&1 == 1 an n&1 == 0

So deep, clearly you need a cs degree to understand bitwise logic.

[Anonymous No.9746761]

>>9746706
holy fuck lmao

[Anonymous No.9746788]

>>9746549
Check the source. They are not.
>>9746716
I don't want to write a function to do an optimized evenness check and include proper error checking. Laziness is a virtue.

[Anonymous No.9747201]

>>9746788
Up untill the point where you need something done that isn't publicly available.

[Anonymous No.9747208]

>>9746761
This is a CSfags wet dream.

[Anonymous No.9747210]

>>9747208
99.9% of cs majors don't even know what's going on in that pic.

[Anonymous No.9747219]

>>9747210
That is what the compiler is for bro.

[Anonymous No.9747227]

>>9747219

Fun fact, that if statement crashes visual studios' compiler.

[Anonymous No.9747238]

>>9747227
Object oriented programming, or OOP for short, is capable of anything. I am guessing someone called the program without adherence to the abstraction layer and fucked something up. Why do they even give malloc on C++ anyways. Fucking sigh.

[Anonymous No.9747242]

https://encyclopediadramatica.rs/Computer_science

Hope y'all enjoy the read

[Anonymous No.9747255]

>>9747242
Thank you for the lulz

[Anonymous No.9747295]

>>9746028
>just world fallacy
bad news senpai: those people are smarter than average

[Anonymous No.9747305]

>>9741767
>no argument supporting your claim
I bet you personally can't justify spending more than a week on graph theory.

[Anonymous No.9747327]

>>9741767
>needing a full class on graph theory
brainlet

[Anonymous No.9747952]

>>9745927
Producing random numbers is highly non-trivial

[Anonymous No.9747959]

>>9746761
The irony of that pic is, that the person who made the code obviously made a program to write the code and they knew what they were doing. But retards take it seriously anyways

[Anonymous No.9747991]

>>9745901
>durrf CS is triviurl
>fails this

[Anonymous No.9748025]

>>9747952
By 'produce' I mean 'call a function that does it for you'

[Anonymous No.9748116]

>>9747959
God, I wish he used &&'s and removed all those comparisons to zero. Or used arrays. My guess is that it's either inefficient or doesn't compile.

[Anonymous No.9748258]

>>9743035
t. hasn't read lisp

[Anonymous No.9748269]

>>9748258
First, it's SICP you stupid retard. Then, SICP is a waste of time because FP is a meme you stupid retard.

[Anonymous No.9748284]

>>9748269
oh, shit i fucked up. yeah, i meant sicp. also, sicp is not so much about fp but rather about abstraction and how to (think).

[Anonymous No.9748303]

>>9748284
>sicp is not so much about fp
Wanna know how I know you didn't read it?

[Anonymous No.9748312]

>>9748303
sure

[Anonymous No.9748414]

>>9747210
Shitty prime number checker.
>mfw I'm in the top 0.1%

[Anonymous No.9748435]

>>9747959
>wasted time writing a program that writes shitty code so in order to save time writing shitty code
next you'll say they were only pretending to be retarded

[Anonymous No.9748450]

>>9743025
Why did you give a censored version of it?
https://pjreddie.com/static/Redmon%20Resume.pdf

[Anonymous No.9748451]

>>9748312
A book that uses only an FP language and shills FP is absolutely an FP book.

[Anonymous No.9748706]

>>9746541

[Anonymous No.9748737]

>>9745927
Your school is just absolute shit man. I go to a shitty one but not even the freshmen who dropped out were that retarded.

[Anonymous No.9748741]

>>9746761
>they were only pretending to be retarded

[Anonymous No.9749115]

>>9743020
She deleted this picture from her instagram page.
Sad.

[Anonymous No.9749575]

>>9743041
7927

[Anonymous No.9749592]

>>9749575
actually 8 + |tape alphabet| * 7918

[Anonymous No.9749642]

>>9745901
lmao are you joking

[Anonymous No.9749657]

>>9742459
Theres literally nothing wrong with the first guys comment

[Anonymous No.9749662]

>>9741767
Why the fuck [math]would[/math] you need a full undergradaute course on graph theory?

Even the pure math textbooks aimed at undergrad graph theory is paper thin. After your first AG course you can even understand the research frontier of graph theory after that short intro.

Fucking pure math brainlets, study a real degree with high credit courses.

[Anonymous No.9749729]

>>9748025
No, I think he meant actually creating the function that gives you your random numbers. So, like he said, it is highly non-trivial. If he couldn't even get his hands on a library with a random number generator, though, then you are correct to say he's retarded. I did that as a math undergrad with limited experience with programming...

[Anonymous No.9749773]

>>9748451
It has to use one language for the sake of consistency. While I can see that one would think that it might be shilling one paradigm over another, it's main purpose was to teach abstraction, recursion and other basic stuff which Lisp was fairly good at. It's replaced by Python now, if I'm not mistaken.

[Anonymous No.9749863]

>>9748451
lisp is about as functional as python is functional. lisp can be as dangerous as C with various globals polluted throughout as well as unsanitary macros and run-time eval of strings read in.

[Anonymous No.9750016]

>>9743981
this is your brain on marxism

[Anonymous No.9750044]

>>9747210
>>9748414
>99.9% of CS majors can't read a function name!!!
>I'm so smart! I feel smart!

[Anonymous No.9750047]

>>9748706
t, hasn't read the source

[Anonymous No.9750186]

>>9748435
>trolled thousands of retards on the internet with it
Not a waste of time in my book

[Anonymous No.9750432]

>>9742940
>procedural generation
>advanced theoretical logic

[Anonymous No.9750631]

>>9750044
>Being this dumb to think I'm actually serious about making this a big deal for myself.

[Anonymous No.9750811]

>>9748451
You seem like a baiting retard, but less than a half of SICP is about 'functional' programming and it includes a very good overview of imperative logic. The focus on functional programming is just to show in what cases imperative statements are not necessary when making a simple program. It goes well beyond the realm of functional programs as the last chapter is about making a virtual machine.

[Anonymous No.9752185]

>>9741767
>be decidability and complexity research student
>conflated with coders
:^(

[Anonymous No.9752455]

>>9742940

[Anonymous No.9752585]

>>9752455
>copy and pasting
Way to much work
https://github.com/drathier/stack-overflow-import

[Anonymous No.9752664]

>>9749729
He said:
>By 'produce' I mean...
HE was the one answering.

[Anonymous No.9752696]

Reposting this. Found it at work, (its formatted to fit better, real one was like 2 screen long.). This was written by a guy who thinks he is amazing at programming and if you say anything bad about any code he wrote its obviously a personal attack against him because you want to undermine his career or some shit.

[Anonymous No.9752710]

>>9745456
I read all of these with an Indian accent.

[Anonymous No.9752808]

>>9742459
>Cisco is more of a software company

[Anonymous No.9752879]

>>9752696
What in the fuck am I looking at?

[Anonymous No.9752888]

>>9752879
he wrote a function to check if at least one of the bools is true but his logic is absolutely retarded, the int parameters should just be local variables but they also aren't needed at all. he should just pass one. He should have just passed in an array of bools, while looped through while bool is false, and then returned true once the first true is found.

[Anonymous No.9752902]

>>9752888
The ints are local variables, and his solution has the advantage that it always takes the same time to execute, which eliminates one possibility for side-channel attacks (unless of course the compiler "optimizes" the code)

[Anonymous No.9752904]

>>9752879
this >>9752888 but more broadly It was part of a UI to classify some shit, there were a list of checkboxes with shit like 'Has property A', 'Used to do B'... and 10 other, this function is used in the module that flagged the item as important if any checkbox is checked (ofcouce, the user didt know this and people wasted time going over the entire list every time to check each box that applied not knowing it only matters that at least one applies). everything that guy worked on was such a fuckup

[Anonymous No.9752920]

>>9752888
He should have used a variable argument function. All of the local vars could be replaced by a counter, or more logically, a single flag. His branching code is ugly, those ifs ought to be ternary operators in his logic, and he compares to true which is pointless. The function is an accumulating OR, which is sensible, but he sucks cock.

[Anonymous No.9752931]

>>9752920
>>9752888
thats C# isnt it? then its literally just
>bool isAtLeastOneTrue(params bool[] bools){return bools.Any(x => x);}

[Anonymous No.9752950]

>>9752902
Oh shit you're right, I thought all those ints were still inside the parentheses. and yeah in that case I don't think the compiler would optimize it but I took compilers a while ago.
>>9752931
yeah that too. I was thinking more c++ with what I posted but looking at the code that is c# I think

[Anonymous No.9752961]

>>9752950
I thought that at first too, because he uses semicolons so he has to declare int for every variable, like in args.
My guess is his understanding of booleans is weak and he is more comfortable with integers, so he got this mess.

[Anonymous No.9752986]

>>9752585
Most funny thing ive read all week

[Anonymous No.9752993]

>>9752902
>his solution has the advantage that it always takes the same time to execute
even under that constraint the non short circuited or operator would be better.

[Anonymous No.9753864]

>applied autism

[Anonymous No.9753869]

>>9743020
i can't wait until this "girls can code" meme dies out

girls just can't code, end of discussion

[Anonymous No.9755471]

>>9746019
Nice, what'd you get on the MAT?

[Anonymous No.9755979]

>>9746008
Is there any value in letting the Random number float over the complete index of the array?

Aka iterate over every position and switch that position with a random position out of the complete array (including itself).

As opposed to only switching with positions you haven't visited yet.

My intuition tells me, that both variants have their use cases.

[Anonymous No.9755987]

>>9752696
This is why you shouldn't overload +/* as operations and 0/1 for truth values in those digital logic courses. Maybe?

[Anonymous No.9756128]

Going to college for cs this fall what should I expect

[Anonymous No.9756173]

>>9756128
CS is a meme, prefrosh of the computational math master race reporting in

[Anonymous No.9756265]

>>9742459
First guy has a good point. Yeah, shit like merge sort and quick sort are simple to understand, and everybody knows them. but imagine a time before those algorithms were realized. nobody was going to just sit there and come up with those out of the blue. It took some really smart mathematicians a while to come up with these classic algorithms.

[Anonymous No.9756459]

>>9756128
Math majors will mog you in every way until you graduate and actually be employed

[Anonymous No.9756462]

>>9756459
kek

[Anonymous No.9756544]

[Anonymous No.9756548]

http://www.pnas.org/content/early/2016/06/27/1602413113.full

>Functional MRI (fMRI) is 25 years old, yet surprisingly its most common statistical methods have not been validated using real data

>In theory, we should find 5% false positives (for a significance threshold of 5%), but instead we found that the most common software packages for fMRI analysis (SPM, FSL, AFNI) can result in false-positive rates of up to 70%

>a 15-year-old bug was found in 3dClustSim while testing the three software packages (the bug was fixed by the AFNI group as of May 2015, during preparation of this manuscript)

>It is not feasible to redo 40,000 fMRI studies, and lamentable archiving and data-sharing practices mean most could not be reanalyzed either

[Anonymous No.9756699]

>>9748435
If C were a real language with macros, then maybe the guy wouldn't have had to do that. But, it's 2017 and here we are.

[Anonymous No.9756859]

>>9747959
We get that it's generated code for a fast primality check, but you're supposed to use a data array with efficient sorting to check against known primes. This is a terrible baby's first ifprime.

[Anonymous No.9756869]

>>9756173
>computational math
That's called CS.

[Anonymous No.9756901]

>>9756548
>Don't write critical Software, even if you know what you are doing because it just is that complicated.
>Result: People who aren't as acutely aware of their limitations get to call the shots.

[Anonymous No.9756912]

>>9752585
https://gkoberger.github.io/stacksort/

[Anonymous No.9757745]

>>9743745
The devs are on a totally new level of retarded, they are always removing game elements that the players enjoy

[Anonymous No.9758589]

>>9756699
My goodness this might be the most retarded post I have ever read

[Anonymous No.9758597]

>>9743020
>the top portion of the screen is a fucking hello world template

[Anonymous No.9758610]

[Anonymous No.9758733]

>>9742940
There are some excellent games to come out of agdg. Monolith is one of the best examples in my opinion. Solid advice anon

[Anonymous No.9758943]

>>9743981
That's a public repository. Those aren't developers.

They are people who try to make their career by making bullshit pull requests like this. For example they will fix a typo or do something like. You can't reject the PR because then SJWs will harass you constantly.

Now for the best part; they will put it on their CVs calling themselves "contributing developers" of your software. See since they fixed that one docstring, took out a swear word or whatever, their name appears on GitHub as a contributor. It's then a simple matter to hide on your CV about the extent of your contributions. So people will assume they were actually involved in the development.

This is what every vibrant hair coloured "coder girl" who refers to herself as an engineer does.