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/sci/ - Science & Math

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9315258 No.9315258 [Reply] [Original]

>got my advisor chocolates and a card to thank him
>he says that's not necessary and is inappropriate so I had to walk out awkwardly with them
>hasn't replied to my email where I apologised
Can I still ask him for a reference or did I fuck up hard?

>> No.9315261

>>9315258
sounds like a dick

>> No.9315262

>>9315258
Maybe your supervisor is just a complete autist. Just pretend like nothing happened.

>> No.9315268

>>9315261
>>9315262
Maybe he thought I was coming onto him or something. He wasn't grading my thesis so why would it be inappropriate?

>> No.9315270

>>9315268
because of autism.

>> No.9315321

It's never appropriate to buy another man chocolates, how embarassing

>> No.9315323

>>9315321
Why not?

>> No.9315341

Some people are just assholes. Learn to shrug and carry on.

>> No.9315344

>>9315258
>chocolate
>for another guy
Buy a steak dinner or something, christ.

>> No.9315345

>>9315323
For the sake of how hilarious it sounds, I will assume you are autistic enough to not understand the problem here. Chocolates and cards are things that are usually given to someone you are dating/ want to date, and it's not considered just a friendly gift. More apropiate gifts are booze, books, music or whatever he's into. I will give you he acted like an asshole, but I too would be pretty freaked out if some fat neckbeard student seemed to have a crush on me.

>> No.9315352

>>9315344
>>9315345
How did I miss out this rule of society? I legitimately did not know it is weird to give chocolate to another guy. I don't know his hobbies so I thought everyone likes chocolate.

>> No.9315354

>>9315261
>>9315262
>>9315270

no wonder americans are corrupt up to their teeth
if they can't see what's going on here

>> No.9315355

>>9315354
I don't understand

>> No.9315356

>>9315352

that sucks. is there a list of these rules somewhere?

>> No.9315361

>>9315355
It would be better if the whole class gave a thank you present, since that favors no one.
Is this really that big a mystery?

>> No.9315363

>>9315345
This. Nobody ever denied a good cognac or whiskey.

>> No.9315366

>>9315361
>advisor is the same as a teacher
I thought /sci/ was a graduate student only board?

>> No.9315369

>>9315345
Yeah, that was a little bit gay.

>> No.9315371

>>9315268
>He wasn't grading my thesis
In practical terms, he actually is. The person grading the thesis won't have much enough time or interest to get the full picture of your work. So the grader is gonna ask your advisor a lot of questions which will eventually give an idea of your thesis work leading to the final grade.

>> No.9315384

>>9315366
lol
just lol

>> No.9315454

>>9315345
this is retarded. don't listen to this guy.

>> No.9315501

>>9315258
He's not interested in your sexual advances. Take the fucking hint.

>> No.9315510

>>9315258
You shouldnt have sent an apology email.
It only confirms his view of you being a faggot wanting his tight ass.

>> No.9315784

>>9315454
Fuck off asspie.

>> No.9315811

>>9315352
Protip: You're not supposed to eat candy as an adult man

>> No.9315814

>>9315258
>chocolates and a card
that's clearly romantic in nature. you should have gotten him a nice scotch.

>> No.9315818

>>9315510
Yeah the email actually made things even worse, OP. The best solution from there would've been to just do nothing and pretend it never happened

>> No.9315826

>>9315258
>tfw gave chocolate to my gen chem teacher a week before finals
>she thanked me and wished me luck in my finals
>tfw free points in the exam
You only give chocolate to women OP.

>> No.9315868

>>9315258
did you also ask him out?
hahaha you faggot

>> No.9315871

Your advisor is an asshole.

>> No.9315896

Your advisor is a dick, but it's wierd you haven't picked up on that until this moment

>> No.9315951

>>9315258
If hes actually a turbo autist, he didn't mean it personally, and was just stating it as a matter of fact. So your reference should still be fine.

>> No.9315967

>>9315258
Honestly I can only imagine you fucked up hard. I would feel weird about writing a reference for a guy who made what seemed to be a romantic gesture.

>> No.9316381

>>9315258
The big question that no-one is asking here:

What kind of box was the chocolate in, what shape was it?

>> No.9316400

>>9316381
It was a pink plastic box, shaped like a penis.

>> No.9316420

>>9315826
Was she an Arab by any chance?

>> No.9316477

>>9316381
OP here, it was actually a pretty normal box, although it did have some valentine theme because I was reusing it from when my mother bought it for me to give to a girl

>> No.9316481

>>9316477
Ya blew it, 8/10 I had a pretty good laugh.b

>> No.9316484

>>9315258
Just a thank you card next time. It's polite, succinct, and doesn't come across as strange. It keeps the barrier between teacher and student.

>> No.9316504

>>9315258
You are clearly a bit of a social retard. Find yourself a normie or two to vette your actions in the future.

>> No.9316511
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9316511

From the perspective of your advisor...

Imagine being in his shoes and someone gave you a present. This could be seen as:

1. You want to fucc
2. You want to "buy" your success rather than earn it
3. The least likely, oh how sweet of this dude getting me chocolates and a card lol. This might've worked if it were a female though.

>> No.9316514

>>9315811
bullshit

>> No.9316515

>>9315361
This is an advisor you retard. Finish your undergrad before you post here.

>> No.9316523

>>9316477
>although it did have some valentine theme because I was reusing it from when my mother bought it for me to give to a girl
for fucks sake lad

>> No.9316531

Dunno how does that work everywhere else, but in Poland, a traditional thank-you gift between two adult men is a 0,7 L bottle of good quality vodka. I can assure you that more guys would rather get wasted over stuffing themselves with sweet stuff. So yeah, you dun goofd op.

>> No.9316538

>>9316477
Please be a b8 :DDDDebin

>> No.9316539

>>9315811
>Refined chocolates are the same as child candy
Off yourself, it is necessary

>> No.9316612

>>9316477
>mother bought it for me to give to a girl
>gave to advisor instead
found the problem

>> No.9316623

>>9315258
>>9315261
>>9315262
>>9315344
>>9315352
Are you actually retarded

>> No.9316624
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9316624

>>9316477
>this whole post

>> No.9316630

You don goofed dude. Btw what the fuck was you thinking. You're not a nerdy high school girl trying to get noticed by your teacher.

>> No.9316648

Feel for you man. I guess you can still go and ask for a reference. I dunno man.

>> No.9316669

>>9315258
Your advisor sounds like a dick but you also sound like a bit of a weirdo.

>> No.9316673

Your prof is stuck up, ignore his opinions about anything but his subject

>> No.9316681

>50% are saying OP is weird for giving chocolates
>50% are saying the advisor is an autist
What is it?

>> No.9316697

>>9316681
Chocolates and a card are a weird gift to give to a man. It also could have been seen as a suck-up move. It all really depends what kind relationship OP and the adviser have to begin with. Even if they are friendly, it would be a strange gift, though.

>> No.9316729

>>9316697
>Chocolates and a card are a weird gift to give to a man
you're just a faggot.

Others suggested alcohol but alcohol isn't really something most serious people drink.

>> No.9316760

>>9316697
You don't give any gifts to your advisor
Unless you live in some corruption ridden African shithole

>> No.9316873

How could you possibly do this out of reflex not thinking it could be weird. Do you live in France or something?

>> No.9316874

>>9316729
>Others suggested alcohol but alcohol isn't really something most serious people drink.
I don't see how that's true but I guess it makes me pretty serious.

>> No.9316879

>>9316874
because it destroys your neurons.

also if you're still in a university, it's probably a very culturally mixed place, and you might give someone alcohol when they're trying to remain sober or they don't drink altogether.

Kosher chocolate is the safest shit you could get.

>> No.9316888

>>9315258
tfw when your advisor is a massive fucking autist

>> No.9316898

>>9316879
>because it destroys your Neurons
Hahahah holy shit. That's one of the most retarded myths perpetuated by hysterical jewish moms and retarded anti social neds like yourself. Alcohol in moderation it's perfectly fine and a lot of respectable academics drink and sometimes they binge drink and have some sort of social events. No wonder why you don't understand why a Valentine themed chocolate box and a card is a weird present
>b..but muh memory loss
Just because you drink doesn't mean you are a fucking alcoholic.

>> No.9316902

>>9316879
>advisor is fat
>don't want to give him chocolate in case he takes it the wrong way

>> No.9316906

>>9315258
>chocolates
Daily reminder that in the west men are supposed to give chocolate to the women/men they want to fuck, and in Japan, women have to give chocolate to the men/women they want to fuck.

If you give chocolate to another person you are telling them "I want my penis to be inside of your asshole so please spread wide I want to plan my male seed inside you".

I mean, how did this escape you? In every romance manga there is always an entire stupid arc about some stupid girl wanting to make chocolate for the guy she likes and fucking it up but in the end, it all turns out well and they fuck. Literally, every single romance manga has this chapter. Did you just always skip this arc specifically and never learned about this?

>> No.9316914

>>9316879
>hates alcohol
>kosher chocolate
You have to be American to be a prohibition era good goy.

>> No.9316920

>>9316914
not even a western faggot.

>> No.9316925

>>9316920
So Israeli.

>> No.9316948
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9316948

>>9316925

>> No.9317099

>>9316420
No.

>> No.9317114

>>9315258
Was this an undergraduate advisor? If so, then yes, kinda inappropriate considering you are likely student #6,000 that he is advising that semester.

If he is your PhD advisor, then he legit has autism. You should have stood your ground and mention how absurd it is that he views showing appreciation for having a positive impact in your life as being "inappropriate." Literally every mathematician I've met has always become good close friends with their advisers. You are literally their mathematical offspring. Their cerebral-imprint upon the world.

>> No.9317121

>>9316760
It would never be something I'd do myself, beyond maybe a thank-you card or something. And I'd probably give it to them after everything was finished.

>> No.9317144

>>9317121
>not getting drinks with your advisor and discussing research
>not helping your advisor paint his living room and then smoke weed and play chess afterwards
>not going to visit your advisor's office just to talk shit about other professors
>not helping your advisor out by teaching his courses for a week so he can go on holiday

What universe do y'all live in?

>> No.9317151
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9317151

>supervisor invites you out for dinner

>> No.9317155
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9317155

>>9317151

>> No.9317161

>>9317151
>>9317155
Gay posting is not allowed in /sci/. Fuck off you degenerate faggots.

>> No.9317162

>>9317161
>>>/pol/
/sci/ is an LGBT-friendly safe space you Drumpftard.

>> No.9317165

>>9317162
/lgbt/ is your safe space

>> No.9317167
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9317167

>>9317144

>> No.9317174

>not giving your boypuci to your advisor
Free papers lads

>> No.9317195

>>9317174
We are not women though, we go into academia because we actually want to do research, not just for "xD girl power" points. No point in getting handouts when what you want is to be independent.

>> No.9317196
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9317196

>>9317195
>boypucci
>women

>> No.9317199

>>9317196
Umm, don't be transphobic.

>> No.9317204

>>9317161
>faggots
Why the homophobia?

>> No.9317207

>>9317196
By that, I meant that because I am a man, I get nothing from simply fucking my way up. My goal is to be an independent researcher and just scoring free papers by whoring myself like a woman does nothing for me.

Sure, I could offer my boipucci, but will that help me become smarter? Probably not. I will just get an empty paper and I won't have advanced.

>> No.9317212
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9317212

>>9317207
>he doesn't fuck his supervisor for fun
>he thinks the only reason to fuck his supervisor is to get papers published

>> No.9317213
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9317213

>>9317151
>tfw supervisor is gorgeous

>> No.9317216

>>9317212
I don't find him attractive. Why would I fuck him? Also, if you mix sex and work then no one will respect you. You are literally the mathematics department's cum dumpster. Everyone sees you like that. Is that really what you want? Seriously, make one single enemy in your department and you will your name defamed on the internet and that's the end of your career, boi.

>> No.9317218

>>9317213
Same. It's hard to work with him, I get really nervous.

>> No.9317220

>>9316925
failed again.

>> No.9317229

>>9315352
sugar is for girls and white people.

>> No.9317235

>>9317229
>be white girl
>orgasm at the thought of sugar