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8838307 No.8838307 [DELETED]  [Reply] [Original] [archived.moe]

So... Hi... I knew 4chan already, but I never REALIZE, what 4chan actually means... With that in mind, I decided to write this...

I wont tell my name, because that will break the entire concept of 4chan, but I DO want to tell you my story, so I'm gonna refer myself as C (fom conscience).

I'm getting out of a crippling depression from like 5 years.
I don't really know the exact time when I realize that I didn't want to be alive, I didn't want to feel, I really didn't want get hurt because in my small universe all I ever knew was pain, I know that sounds absurd, and you know whats funny, I know that this sounds really dramatic or some shit like that, but hey, that ws the person I was, and that was the only "reality" I knew. I was so focused on ME, this is hard to explain, but I literally just care about what I think was fine, or what I think is correct, so, tradicing this, The only think I care was me, and I was SO FUCKING DEEP IN THAT TOUGHT, that everything I did, for the past 5 years that I had depression, everithing I did was focusing on making the things work the way I want... And then I realize... dude... I'm not depressed, I'm just a spoiled crying baby, that wants the world to be the way he fucking want... and under that line of tought.... Am I different than a dictator, or what I consider stupid.. I mean, I feel bad because I cant make the world to be the way I want to be... so.... That pretty stupid don't you think.. hahaha But I mean, not "bad" stupid,more like, "ignorant" stupid.

But hey, I mean, thats cool, I get over a depression I "Feel" good. But the thing is... Is not that simple... When I was diagnosed with "Depression" and some other shit I wont mention, it was, because I have something that I liked to call "A convulsive but not epilectic brain"; and this is the brain that have the "same or similar" brain function as a person with epilepsy, but the difference is, my convulsions did not affect the "motor zone"... Pt1

>> No.8838345

>>8838307
It's C
Part 2
... I called it that way because I'm not a doctor, or an expert in that subject, so I just talk in base in my experience and the things i've researched, and actually lived as a "human experiment"

As I was saying, My convulsions did not affect my mottor zone, but they did on my "emotions" zone, si that was the first "reazon" the doctors start to treat me with medicine and that things...


Now, It is me the 2017 C... I don't feel depressed anymore... but my brain works the same, and some how, trough the 3 years that I've been taking medicine I didn't feel ny change... And EVEN that.... The medicine, have absolutelly NO EFFECT on MY brain... The doctors even tought more than once, that I wasnt even taking the "medicine" And FUCK! I felt SO FUCKING BAD, because my WHOLE life, i've consider myself a "revel" you know? But like a "kid" revel, not a real one. And for me the fact that I was thaking thinks that I DID FUCKING NOT WANT TO, just for the sake that "those medicines will fix me". So I was against my whole "motto" and you are telling me that even that... Those medicines did absolutelly nothing to my brain in 2 years of thaking them and thaking them the way you are supossed to take them. And the case is so extreme that the doctors dont even believe that you are taking the pills. Ok who cares, they are doctors... But dude, My MOM, help me trough this whole process, she literally help me organize my medicine, I mean SHE SAW ME when I take the medicine, So, How the fuck, does sience explain me that? And believe me I GREW UP WITH SIENCE....
So then I start changing my attitude with life, etc, etc, etc i'm out now...

The whole important thing here is... I saw this movie "Split" and fuck I love the theory that this movie puts us in the table, and not just this, I mean, there are A LOT of movies like this, but hey this one gave the idea so fuck you! <3

But what if... People with what we consider "mental disorders" or "mental illnes"... pt2

>> No.8838365

>>8838345
It's C... I don't know if this is weird, this is the first time I post something here so... I'm ignorant...

But what if... People with what we consider "mental disorders" or "mental illnes"not as a "bad" thing, or as something we should "fix". I mean WE are humans... we are a specie... and under that tought... we hace absolutelly NO idea how does evolution is going to work, I mean, we already change A LOT of the natural order... But what if this "mental disorders" or "mutations" are just the next step in our evolution as a species...

I don't know... Maybe I'm just crazy... or what ever... But I mean... I love life... And I FINALLY give my life a purpuse... and that purpuse is try to persrve us as a specie... but as FUCKING HAPPY SPECIES... hahhaha, I just want everyone to see wach other as a human being, as a person.

I just want to make this a better world for everyone, and I think that as a person who REALLY knew what a fucking depression is, and what this shit do with your life.... I know is hard to admit, or even realize that you are depressed, but REALLY depressed, not just sad... So if I can rise my voice, and reach to someone... dude that´s great... And... I think that if we start to see "mental illness" as an evolution, or as "the next step" as humans, we could invetigate and generate so much about our own mind and brain... I came here, maybe to just express myself for the sake of being human and get recognition, or just because I really want to fucking help... what ever is the case, If I reach to someone, and someone is reading me outh there... let me tell you... you are not, alone, I fucking love you, you are unique and special, and I maybe dont know you or who the fuck you are... but believe me, I know how you feel, and I just want to make this a bettert world for everyone.

Peace and fucking love!

(I swear a lot because I'm too sensitive, and I'm crying while typing this, so it's like to make a balance you know? xD)

>> No.8838370
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8838370

Nice Blog Post

>> No.8838385 [DELETED] 

kys cum guzzler

>> No.8840217

>>8838365
Nice shitpost, where can I subscribe?

>> No.8840278

tl;dr

Sage

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