ITT: Lab Stories / Fuck-Ups

File: 80 KB, 760x570, centrifuge.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

ITT: Lab Stories / Fuck-Ups Anonymous Fri Mar 24 08:10:28 2017 No.8773608 [Reply] [Original]

Tell us some hilarious lab experiences!

>molecular biology lab
>paired with a pre-vet girl
>she was given a micropipette
>"How do I know how much water this will hold?"
>later she makes the classic mistake of not balancing the centrifuge
>destruction
>still got good grade because of me

>physiology lab
>chronaxie and rheobase of human radial nerve
>I give my friend nice 120 V pulses with 10 Hz frequency
>watch him twitch and suffer

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 08:22:33 2017 No.8773625 >don't balance the centrifuge One time I didn't notice my grinding wheel was cracked and it exploded. That was fun. Highly recommend, high speed aluminum oxide is a good time for the whole family.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 08:31:44 2017 No.8773640 >>8773625 >>/Reddit/ Thanks for your cooperation

Anonymous Fri Mar 24 08:36:11 2017 No.8773645

>Work in engineering lab
>Lots of heavy equipment, chemicals, etc.
>One guy accidentally squirts superglue into his eyeball, has to go to emergency opthamologist
Another guy accidentally squirts NaOH into his eye, has to go to emergency ophthalmologist
>Another guy got his fingers crushed under a 50kg steel plate and had to get surgery
Plenty more that's happened """unofficially""" that no one talks about

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 10:03:12 2017 No.8773772 >>8773645 >crushed under a 50 kg steel plate Ouch

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 10:12:15 2017 No.8773782 >Making suppositories in lab >Prof calls them RectalRockets I chuckled for like 20 minutes

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 10:40:15 2017 No.8773831 >made a circuit composed of only batteries >left it on for 20+ mins, and left the lab (with everyone inside it) >one of the batteries exploded over my lab partner's notes

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 11:27:32 2017 No.8773924 >>8773831 Why?

Anonymous Fri Mar 24 11:32:48 2017 No.8773933

>>8773924
why to what?
we left the lab to do some shit interactive experiment outside.
the battery exploded because it overheated, considering the only thing the circuit could produce was heat and there were 6 of those big batteries connected end to end.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 11:46:16 2017 No.8773968 File: 156 KB, 270x270, 1450217744870.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >When you're in a PCR lab and you don't know whether you've fucked up or not until week 12 Hahaha I love performance anxiety.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 11:50:38 2017 No.8773978 >>8773645 Are engineers seriously such big fuckups in labs?

Anonymous Fri Mar 24 13:00:54 2017 No.8774200

>Research assistant for a color-vision study in 2nd year (co-op)
>Grad student goes "hey I have a thing can you test this subject"
>lolsure
>Need to turn on one of the tests
>there are a few different things plugged into a power bar
>power bar doesn't have a light to tell you if it's on
>hit the switch
>hmm, nothing happened
>switch it back
>nothing
>Oh, there's a switch on the back of the test lel
>Few hours later
>prof and grad student say that one of the computers crashed and they cant fix it
>cant use that computer (nor the test installed on it) for the remainder of the study
>mfw I realized that computer was on and plugged into that power bar
>mfw noface

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 14:33:47 2017 No.8774527 >>8773968 As an undergrad researcher, I successfully killed/contaminated about 3 trays of bacterial colonies that had been growing for about 4 weeks by sneezing on them. Thank god I was doing it for money and not credit.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 16:51:25 2017 No.8774855 >>8774527 You're evil.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 16:59:27 2017 No.8774869 >failed first midterm >have to rely on a really strong curve to bring my mark up >replace other lab member's solutions with water whenever they're not looking

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 17:23:05 2017 No.8774931 >>8774869 DEVILISH

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 17:39:11 2017 No.8774969 >>8774869 I added some sugar to one student's urine sample at med school. Now he thinks he has diabetes.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 19:43:06 2017 No.8775324 >>8773645 can the """"""""" meme die already? its bad

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 20:35:48 2017 No.8775470 >first year in med school >biology lesson, learning to use microscope. >teacher asked a girl for her saliva >we saw sperm

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 21:39:47 2017 No.8775611 >>8773645 The last lab I worked in you had to wear full safety gear regardless of what you were doing. Pretty much everything was conducted at a foggy yell.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 21:40:51 2017 No.8775616 File: 38 KB, 945x835, 1486757374772.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8775470

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 24 21:44:28 2017 No.8775626 >>8773645 Repeatedly burned meself with soldering iron.

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 04:46:40 2017 No.8776453 >>8775470 lmao

Anonymous Sat Mar 25 04:55:36 2017 No.8776469
File: 135 KB, 275x334, 17381337420698.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I was working on a robot for a competition that was coming up in our high school's tech lab.

> Working on robot, sitting on field right next to it, and trying to fix an axel hub that is not sufficiently bolted down to the axel.
> Get an Allen key and screw the bolt back down, tension seems to be good enough, proceed with some stress tests.
> Grab a controller, and run at full power the DC motor that the aforementioned axel was connected to.
> mfw my hand was resting on top of the gear of aforementioned axel hub.
> mfw I ran a DC motor at full speed with a 1:6 gear ratio.
> mfw that my middle finger went straight into that gear ratio.
> mfw I pulled out at the very last second before my finger would've been crushed.
> mfw a loud "FUCK" rang throughout the school that moment.
> mfw the robot I began to hate with a passion tore my middle finger.

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 04:58:04 2017 No.8776476 >>8773782 Every skill that uses a big rocket in games gets branded a suppository in my mind.

Anonymous Sat Mar 25 04:59:48 2017 No.8776480

>>8774527
https://www.ncbi.nlm.nih.gov/pmc/articles/PMC1121900/

>“It all started with an enquiry from a nurse,” Dr Karl Kruszelnicki told listeners to his science phone-in show on the Triple J radio station in Brisbane. “She wanted to know whether she was contaminating the operating theatre she worked in by quietly farting in the sterile environment during operations, and I realised that I didn't know. But I was determined to find out.”

Anonymous Sat Mar 25 05:21:35 2017 No.8776525

Getting to a lab very early has its perks. Lab partner brought in some food grade mineral oil and filled his mouth with it and then stuck a tiny chunk of potassium metal in there, when he exhaled the moisture in his breath reacted with the potassium and gave him fiery dragon breath for split second.

Burned his lips a little but he was stoked about doing it. I wasn't even mad honestly, it was cool.

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 05:21:36 2017 No.8776526 File: 1.69 MB, 1240x1755, 1488248306668.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8776480 >quietly farting I got you mang

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 06:18:02 2017 No.8776639 >>8773608 In cell culture lab they asked me to cleanse the laminar flow cabinet. I spilled ethanol and set the inside on fire. It did the job.

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 09:31:37 2017 No.8776938 >>8773645 >Another guy got his fingers crushed under a 50kg steel plate, has to go to emergency opthamologist ftfy

Anonymous Sat Mar 25 09:37:15 2017 No.8776949

>Working on "star in a jar" experiment for advanced physics lab
>have 1 partner
>hes the nit picky carful type and im the spaz trippin out that i finally get to make a damn star in a jar
>use a filament to generate steam bubble to be caught in standing waves blah blah
>adjusting filament before putting it in the vat
>he fucking turns it on and it fucking brands me

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 10:14:08 2017 No.8776996 >>8776949 >your fucking luck

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 10:17:24 2017 No.8777002 File: 94 KB, 602x709, 1488336905883.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8773645 >super glue in eyeball

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 10:33:10 2017 No.8777031 >>8774869 fuck people like you how about you perform better or get the fuck out instead of sabotaging other people

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 11:27:51 2017 No.8777127 >>8774869 I sense in you a darkness that will consume worlds.

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 14:16:37 2017 No.8777526 >>8775611 In our uni only chemistry department is forced to wear safety stuff. Physics, engineering, biology, biochem... nah, they'll be fine...

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 14:32:01 2017 No.8777562 >>8775470 Reminds me of this: http://forums.canadiancontent.net/hot-topics/54900-teacher-asks-students-masturbate.html

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 15:10:25 2017 No.8777634 >>8774869 >get caught >get banned from entering any university for 10 years

Anonymous Sat Mar 25 16:21:14 2017 No.8777785

>Neuroscience lab, dissecting sheep brains
>First week of lab, just a simple mid saggital cut
>Knives we use are rounded and don't look very sharp
>TA is talking about various structures, showing where to cut exactly and asks if we think the knife looks sharp
>Some guy says "no", proceeds to run it across his palm
>Turns out they are very sharp, his palm is now cut open and blood is everywhere
>TA is as dumbfounded by what he just saw as the rest of us

I now TA that course and we don't have materials out at the start, students need to grab them themselves and aren't allowed to do so until after the first quick safety orientation. It's a third year course so you'd think people would be smart enough not to run a knife across their palm

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 16:24:35 2017 No.8777793 >>8777785 >It's a third year course so you'd think people would be smart enough you'd be wrong, very wrong.

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 16:34:34 2017 No.8777806 >>8777785 It's sad how retarded people can get university level degrees too.

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 16:44:57 2017 No.8777841 >>8773645 >One guy accidentally squirts superglue into his eyeball How the fuck does one accidentally squirt fucking superglue into his eyeball, fucking engineers I swear

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 16:46:42 2017 No.8777845 >>8777785 >TA is talking about various structures, showing where to cut exactly and asks if we think the knife looks sharp >Some guy says "no", proceeds to run it across his palm Absolute mad man

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 16:50:28 2017 No.8777853 >>8773968 >PCR lab >waiting 12 weeks for results what the fuck are you on about?

Anonymous Sat Mar 25 17:46:38 2017 No.8777994

>engineering student
>be in chemistry lab
>partner drops a test tube
>TA gives us shit
>5 minutes later
>I drop a test tube
>TA gives us a mark deduction for "poor lab conduct"
>asks us for our names
>mishears my partners name, deducts marks from a different guy instead

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 18:08:37 2017 No.8778054 >>8777994 Why didn't you pretend to be someone else?

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 19:25:31 2017 No.8778268 >>8774200 What kind of experiments were you supposed to do?

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 20:09:35 2017 No.8778368 >>8777634 >whoops i thought it was mine Wow, so hard.

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 21:50:23 2017 No.8778548 >>8773608 one of my friend accidentally injected cancer cells into his finger a few years ago. Luckily they were already in a denaturating medium and nothing happend after

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 21:56:03 2017 No.8778557 File: 33 KB, 580x437, Horrified bell peppers.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8777785 holy shit we're all doomed

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 21:59:21 2017 No.8778563 >>8773978 Just because that is what you are shown the most does not mean it happens as regularly as it seems. These accidents are likely very rare and happened over many years.

>>	Anonymous Sat Mar 25 22:02:36 2017 No.8778573 >>8776526 where does this comic come from? what's its name?

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 02:03:10 2017 No.8779030 >>8778573 I don't know, saw it in a thread in /b/ 2 days ago

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 02:47:03 2017 No.8779120

>First year honors bio lab
>Lab partner is an aspiring
>TA is having us to cell culture.
>After 2 hours of doing several different cultures I let him put them away
>He drops all of them on floor
>Proceeds to open them "to make sure they are OK"
>Come back next lab
>Mold on our samples
>TA deducts nothing because he doesn't give a shit.

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 02:54:24 2017 No.8779135

>>8779120
Aspie*
Another
>In chem lab
>We are synthesizing some obscure, useless chemical x
>TA "make sure after step 4 to make sure you stir the solution slowly"
>Step 4 finished I'm anxious to get out of this aweful lab (2.5 hours in)
>Stir as slow as possible, solution essentially explodes in my face
>TA "you must have stirred to quickly, go ahead and start over"
>Tell him I'm good he can grade my solution when I'm done
>Make roughly 2% of x in entire solution
>Only subtracts 5%
>Feelsgoodman

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 02:55:26 2017 No.8779139
File: 1.00 MB, 500x220, 1366082742393.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>get lazy working, sit on a stool
>diluting 18M H2SO4
>go home and after laundry
>see pants has wholes in it
>resemble drops and realize i had spilled shit on myself earlier in the day

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 03:05:03 2017 No.8779159

>>8779135
Last one
>Physics lab
>Measuring friction on surfaces with highly inaccurate sensors
>All these honors kids trying desperately to get decent results
>I just google friction values in the objects and write a function to create my values in excel.
>My lab is done in under 15 minutes
>Next lab I'm told everyone had to stay an extra hour

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 03:08:13 2017 No.8779165

>>8773608
What kind of ghetto school do you go to where the centrifuges don't shut down upon detecting a major imbalance?

Slightly related, a failure analysis case I worked once involved an industrial centrifuge for bulk wine manufacturing. This thing was taller than a person. The bolts holding it to the ground were suffering from fatigue. Once one failed, the other degraded bolts all followed suit and the centrifuge was loose. Shoot itself through two walls before it moved far enough to unplug itself.

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 03:13:07 2017 No.8779171

>Going through lab supplies taking stock
>Open cabinet, see bottle way in the back in a dark corner
>It's rusty and looks old as hell
>Can make out "ether" on label
>oh fuck
>School evacuates the building, calls the police to bring in a bomb robot to remove the bottle

Didn't explode at the end of the day but it was a whole fucking mess

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 03:15:25 2017 No.8779176

>Doing experiments in mice
>For those who don't know, there's standard protocol for humanely killing mice
>First you gas them with CO2, then you snap their necks, then you put them in a paper bag in a freezer and wait for waste disposal to get rid of them
>Some grad students are too squeamish or too lazy to do the neck snapping, and just gas the mice and put them in the freezer
>Occasionally some of these mice wake up in the freezer, and lose their god damn minds inside a dark box filled with their dead kin

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 03:17:03 2017 No.8779180

>>8779176
>Mice for every grad student are kept in the same room
>Building is having plumbing issues
>Genuine concern the mice room will be flooded
>Grad students advised to put "high value mice" on the top shelves, should the worst happen

When you spend 3-5 years trying to get the right mutations in your mice, that kind of shit is terrifying

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 09:53:54 2017 No.8779843 >>8779180 Well, at least the mice won't suffer from too dry air in the room.

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 12:32:58 2017 No.8780212 >>8777785 >TA'ing neuroscience labs Doing this for years has killed me inside.

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 13:47:29 2017 No.8780432
File: 74 KB, 250x188, 4ea08836.png.505x650_q85.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8773608
You would think that trying to identify high concentration acid by shoving it under my nose and smelling deepy is a lesson I would need to learn only once.

Several years worth of lab courses has proven that wrong.

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 13:58:56 2017 No.8780457 >>8773608 >Didn't vacuum distill my meth properly. >Ended up with yellow sticky crystals. >Had to try again. :'(

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 14:47:05 2017 No.8780563 >guys in a lab upstairs get a 200L drum of glycerin >can't get the hand pump to work >decides next best solution is to gently tip the drum over a bucket >drum falls over

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 17:06:03 2017 No.8780905 >>8779171 Interesting. Could you elaborate? Does ether just become really unstable after a while?

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 17:19:02 2017 No.8780932

>>8780905
it's a peroxide former, and tards are overly scared of peroxide formers.

we had some years (maybe decades) old cyclohexene. the thing fucking became as viscous as motor oil when it's supposed to be like water. we just called the unwanted chemical disposal and gave it to them without pissing ourselves.

hell, before i even knew that it's not supposed to be that viscous i took some samples out, put them in vials, and heated up the vials up with a heatgun so i would have an easier time getting them into a syringe to run through a GC.

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 17:22:47 2017 No.8780947 >>8780932 also, it converted to the point that the samples had almost no cyclohexene left. i didn't have the column connected to a mass spec so i'm not sure what it actually formed, but i knew that it was time to order some new cyclohexene.

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 17:33:01 2017 No.8780974

>>8773608

>Be chem undergraduat
>First class involving lab work
>some guy starts screaming: "Get the water, get the fucking water!"
>His slowpoke labmate asks him 5 times why before he finally gets water and splashes the guy
>Turns out he dropped HCl on his pants and shoes
>Has to go to the hospital with burn symptoms

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 17:45:03 2017 No.8781008

>order case of 500ml bottles of citric acid solution
>get shipped a fucking 300 gallon tank on a pallet.
>it sits on our dock for 3 weeks
>finally get told to bring it in and transfer into old bottles
>tank is square, plastic surrounded by a metal cage
>has a cap on top and nothing else
>stupid ideas passed around, somebody thinks a fucking keg tap might work, I say just fucking ladel it into a beaker and pour it from there into bottles
>finally decide to pop a fucking hole in the top, epoxy a spigot onto it, and tilt the fucker onto the side
>I want nothing to do with this
>nozzle in place, pallet jack used to lift one side, then pure retard strength to tilt it over by hand
>this fucking thing weighs a literal ton
>i repeat that this is a bad idea
>it goes over, impact registers on seismometers
>aaand the top splits open all the way from our hackjob spigot to the plastic weld around the cap
At least we got our bottles filled from the 50 litres or so that stayed in the tank...

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 18:34:14 2017 No.8781122

>>8781008
this is what i hate about lab work. it's pretty obvious that you didn't need the solution immediately since you let it sit around for 3 weeks. in that time you could have either returned it and got what you were supposed to, or ordered a tap to properly extract it from the container.

instead, i'm guessing everyone was either too lazy and/or considered this not their problem until it was too late to return/order the tap, so you half assed it and wasted resources. i'm pretty sure that if you even bothered to ask other labs someone would have the tap.

this has pretty much been my experience working in a university lab. no one gives a shit about anything, and doesn't keep track of anything, until it's their time to use it. we have vacuum pumps that didn't have their oil changed for so long that it turned black. the guy before me used the experimental apparatus when he new it had leaks because he was too lazy to fix it and told me i should fix it when it came my time to use it.

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 18:36:24 2017 No.8781129 >>8780974 Why didn't he go to the Damn shower.

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 18:41:52 2017 No.8781150 >>8773968 Why the fuck are you waiting 12 weeks for results? >>8774527 Jesus christ people like you should be lynched. Why were the plates open in the first place and why would you think sneezing right ontop of them was anything but a dumb idea.

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 19:05:32 2017 No.8781202 >>8779171 Buddy cleaning out a USG survey lab full of shit from the 50's testing unlabeled samples found a little tube of methylmercury. she only found out what it was after she was done handling it, including taking a sample. She was mad.

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 21:12:01 2017 No.8781466

>>8781122
Every single level of it was "not my problem".
Nobody knew whose problem it was supposed to be.
Honestly, it was fucking citric acid. Citric FUCKING acid. The container probably cost more than the solution. Send it back and buy more, from a different supplier if need be.
I mean, it's not a dramatic story but god damn was it stupid all the way through.

Anonymous Sun Mar 26 23:09:03 2017 No.8781670

>Take art elective
>Pass by sculpture lab next door
>See girl holding a Dremel like a 2 year old holds a spoon
>She's carving something into a piece of 2x4
>Holding the wood with her other hand maybe 3" away
>Watch as the Dremel keeps jerking towards her hand
>Women

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 23:15:15 2017 No.8781678 >>8781202 That shit's no joke. It goes right through gloves.

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 23:17:43 2017 No.8781686 >>8778573 Some turbo autist on gurochan commissioned a shitload of nearly-identical Wheel of Time decapitation/farting comics with no nudity. t. reverse image search

>>	Anonymous Sun Mar 26 23:59:26 2017 No.8781767 >>8774869 Fucking kill yourself my man

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 04:38:37 2017 No.8782113 >>8780563 Sounds like your department is full of geniuses.

Anonymous Mon Mar 27 05:03:54 2017 No.8782143

Haven't had any major fuckups at Uni yet, but I have a story from Advanced Physics while I was in high school.

>be me
>also be retard
>working with hot plates for arbitrary reason
>finish lab early, go back to desk to write a couple things down
>come back to put away supplies
>place ENTIRE FUCKIN HAND on hot plate, since I assumed it cooled off though it was 80-90℃ only 10 minutes ago
>get burnt, claim I mashed my hand leaning on the table when I ask teacher to go to the nurse's office
>had to wear icepack for 3 hours

I've been known to lack foresight sometimes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 05:09:40 2017 No.8782150 >>8777841 He took a look at it and pressed it. That's how i imagine it

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 05:18:47 2017 No.8782162 >>8773978 >what is comfirmation bias

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 05:40:06 2017 No.8782186 >>8775626 That's not that bad, I was fucking with my car stereo and held a couple Of wires together > wondered where that green light was coming from > what's this burning smell? Melted fingers together

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 06:04:51 2017 No.8782207 >>8782186 >green light GATSBY IS GREEDY GREEN SYMBOLIZES GREED CAUSE THEY SOUND SIMILAR OR SOMETHING >Of Ok you get a B- for this paper even though you understand everything about the novel and several things I don't

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 08:02:39 2017 No.8782340 >>8782207 What are you talking about?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 08:03:43 2017 No.8782342 >>8782340 >What are you talking about? F for questioning the teacher

Anonymous Mon Mar 27 11:32:54 2017 No.8782697
File: 448 KB, 455x395, Laughing crocogators.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8780563
sounds pretty damn sticcy

>>8781008
should have gotten some tubing and siphoned it into more manageable containers.

>>8782207
>>8782342
it's fucking >>>/lit/ my guy

Anonymous Mon Mar 27 11:44:34 2017 No.8782717

>O-chem lab
>leaning about boiling points
>use high morality water
>forget to dilute the water
>put it over the bunsen burner
>not under the fume hood
>instantly boils at over 200 Kelvin
>fumes everywhere
>TA runs over and flips his shit
>lab partner passes out and later dies
Luckily I was wearing my safety goggles so I got an A+

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 11:46:02 2017 No.8782720 File: 308 KB, 800x388, 1268859709104.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8773608 obligatory pic related

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 11:57:50 2017 No.8782734 >>8782717 >high morality water top kek

Anonymous Mon Mar 27 12:03:16 2017 No.8782743
File: 139 KB, 2048x1024, 1477940989191.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>microbio research
>doing a project with 2 other guys, we are each in charge of a separate gene on an operon
>1 of them has his shit contaminated so much it was untracable, halfway through had to stop
>other guy kept fucking up his lacZ fusion, took him extra 3 or 4 weeks
>As the only one unscathed, had to check reagents to see if they are contaminated
>eventually trace it to the taq polymerase when I PCRed, somehow me and that one guy miraculously avoided contamination
>find out the newbie researchers also used that vial of taq poly

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 12:06:34 2017 No.8782745 >>8782720 Doesn't it cost like 200k to get one back up and running? Ignoring the damage.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 12:09:12 2017 No.8782748 >>8782745 depends, you don't have to do a full quench if it's not an emergency and provided that the metal object isn't too large

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 13:01:02 2017 No.8782852 >>8782717 What the fuck is high morality water?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 13:15:00 2017 No.8782881 >>8782852 >the joke >your head

Anonymous Mon Mar 27 14:15:58 2017 No.8783015

>in micro lab
>working with e coli doing streak plates for the first day
>yeah its baby stuff but Id rather not have that shit spill on me
>guy asks me for help with technique
>I walk over, make a little diagram on paper for him on how to drag the loop through so it works right
>pics up e coli vial
>inoculates loop
>holds vial sideways while streaking plate
>e coli spilling all over his arm, pants and table
>smells like absolute shit
>"hey hey hey stop stop lift the vial up the right way!"
>"what?"
>still spilling bacteria all over himself
>"lift it up, youre spilling it! lift it up!"
>"what"
>finally looks down at drenched pants and shirt
>its spilling down his arm and into his glove
>"oh shit oh shit"
>thanks me for letting him know
>drops out of lab the next day

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 15:27:33 2017 No.8783205 >>8783015 Hahahaha what the fuck How did he not feel it?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 15:40:17 2017 No.8783255 >>8782697 >should have Shpuld have never accepted delivery honestly.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 16:20:23 2017 No.8783375 >>8773968 >Do Northern Blot >Day 1 out of 5 >Must add 2 μl of transparent reagent >No idea if I already put it or not

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 16:52:03 2017 No.8783445 >>8778548 How exactly did that happen ?

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 18:00:08 2017 No.8783618 I once accidentally knocked a piece of sandstone off the table in the petrology lab and it broke. It was ok though, I ended up with more rocks than I started with

Anonymous Mon Mar 27 18:23:04 2017 No.8783676

>>8783205
Initially i think it was such a small amount and he was so concentrated that he didnt notice, but as it dripped down his arm I think he realized what thw sensation was. His lab coat was really drenched in the front. Either way it took around 6 seconds of spilling stinky bacteria everywhere for him to get the picture.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 20:22:05 2017 No.8783974 That's nothing, check it >be me >in lab >majored in chemistry

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 20:56:30 2017 No.8784022 >>8783974 damn

Anonymous Mon Mar 27 21:15:59 2017 No.8784044

>second year animal biology lab
>have to dissect cricket
>they aren't pre-killed
>have to behead them
>they still move around for a very long time after beheading
>even after you peel off their exoskeleton, rip off their limbs, and pin them with several needles
>still keep moving

IDK, it was nightmare fuel.

>>	Anonymous Mon Mar 27 21:33:04 2017 No.8784072 >>8782720 I'd have given the guy an all-plastic cart

Anonymous Mon Mar 27 21:43:53 2017 No.8784090

>playing with cloud chamber in nuclear physics lab,using small radioactive sources, I think they were pieces of depleted uranium in the form of these metal discs
>one of them got dropped and broken, rather than tell anyone about it the person that broke it grabbed the pieces and stuck them in his pocket
>neglected to wash hands afterwards,wound up ingesting particles of radioactive material

He didn't die but he did get very very sick and I'm pretty sure his odds of getting cancer at some point are near 100%. The whole incident was shoved under the rug as you might expect, it was ultimately his fault for being so insanely stupid as to grab a bunch of shattered radioactive metal and not follow good clean-up procedures, the school agreed not to make it public and he dropped out of the program, they had to vacuum out the lab and check the ventilation system in case any dust got up into it. If he's just owned up to it it wouldn't have even been that big of a deal.

Don't fuck around with radioactive shit.

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 03:10:07 2017 No.8784837

>work in bio lab focused on plant genetics
>be relatively newfag
>roastie chatting me up while I'm loading samples into an agarose gel
>going to excise these bitches to sequence
>get distracted by talking and accidentally mix two of the PCR samples together

>doing real-time PCR for first time
>professor hasn't done it before either (small school)
>set everything up okay in the end
>set qPCR machine to run and go home for the night
>find out later that the run ended prematurely because a fuse blew in the machine
>next run doesn't have enough RNA
>run after that has DNA contamination that didn't show up in RT-PCR

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 03:18:14 2017 No.8784848

>Chemistry lab.
>Working with alcohols, bunsen burners, other chemicals.
>Guy somehow accidentally starts a small fire on his desk.
>Panics.
>Grabs the beaker full of alcohol and pours it on the fire.
>Entire desk in flames
>Teacher got fire extinguisher

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 04:06:54 2017 No.8784909 >>8776469 >gearboxes >inrunners throws up violently

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 11:46:48 2017 No.8785452 >>8784044 Insects are fun!

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 12:21:08 2017 No.8785529

We have a bunch of picric acid in our chem lab. Word got out about it and we had police and the Fire Dept show up one day to confiscate it. Apparently it took a lot of talking and documentation for them to leave it alone

No cool picric acid explosion stories tho

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 12:49:12 2017 No.8785563
File: 52 KB, 288x279, adult-isoc-test-img1.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8778268
We just had a bunch of people take a few different color vision tests. Some were digitized and some were on paper. You've probably seen some online
>pic related, it's a demo page for one of the paper tests.

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 12:57:37 2017 No.8785584

>Gen Chem 1
>Bromination reaction thing
>Hey Partner, gib me some H2O2
>She puts H2O in a graduated cylinder without me noticing
>Hands it to me
>I put in the in reaction tube and start hearing
>Reaction is suppose to turn clear from brown quickly
>20 minutes later
>Shit still brown
>"Hey Partner What did you give me?"
>"I gave you H2O anon"
>"I said H2O2, the lab manual even says H2O2"
>"But Anon, Aren't they like, the same thing?"

I ended up passing with a B- because of her constant incompetence, she got a C-.

Her breath smelt so bad too, she never brushed.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 16:34:28 2017 No.8786030 >>8785584 Gen chem is so impossible. I don't get it at all same with physics

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 17:02:35 2017 No.8786120 >>8777031 >>8777634 >>8781767 t. stupid americans who do not understand school is competition

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 18:33:45 2017 No.8786368 >>8786120 >t. Eurotard OBSESSED

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 18:42:42 2017 No.8786387

>>8784072
seriously. it just shows how dumb they were for not expecting a janitor to do this. if intelligence was his main attribute then he wouldn't be a janitor.

the carts janitors use at my university are plastic, and i'm fairly certain they use non-magnetic stainless steel screws.

>>	Anonymous Tue Mar 28 19:00:43 2017 No.8786430 >thermodynamics lab in year one >all we do is put water in a blender and measure the temperature change >then make slight change to the container and do it again Was seriously considering whether this is the course for me

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 19:19:25 2017 No.8786473

>third year metabolism lab
>doing timed assays and running SDS-PAGE gels
>I load samples in, partner is supposed to record absorbance values for assay while im gone
>partner didn't record them in increments, didn't calibrate the spec to the right absorbance
>half the calculated protein concentrations were negative
fucking hell man

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 19:36:50 2017 No.8786511

Another
>making capillary tubes in ochem for TLC
>requires us to run cheap glass volumetric pipettes over a bunsen burner to make them malleable in order to pull them apart into small, thin tubes
>Supervisor explicitly tells students to be careful when breaking the capillary tubes (we needed about 6 from each pipette)
>student somehow puts broken tube through hand, blood everywhere
>girl beside him faints, knocking over extremely volatile, fatigue inducing eluent all over floor
>lab is evacuated because 2 students are lying on the floor and the rest are about to pass out
That lab was a shitshow, at least 3 people dropped test tubes per week, and someone broke an entire distillation apparatus because they didn't clamp it properly.

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 19:45:07 2017 No.8786531

>>8782207
Kill me now, you're reminding me of the shit I was forced to do sitting English languagee AND English literature, both at higher tier, I just wanted to die.

The inanity of the conclusions they draw, shows us in a profound way, how incredibly moronic a human can be when seeking meaning where there is none to be sought.

Anonymous Tue Mar 28 21:18:36 2017 No.8786748
File: 54 KB, 625x421, whoopsie_daisy.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

> first year PhD student
> trained in theory but want to do some evolution experiments with bacteria and viruses
> need to use chloroform to kill bacteria but not viruses, then use a centrifuge to separate them
> add the chloroform to the clear plastic falcon tubes containing bacteria/phage cultures
> place in giant chilled centrifuge and start
> come back 15 min later to find that the chloroform has melted all the containers
> there is now a literal hot mess of bacterial culture, molten plastic, and toxic chloroform splashed all over the inside of the centrifuge, pooled in all the tube-holders, impossible to remove
> the centrifuge rotor had to be replaced at a large cost to our department.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 00:09:42 2017 No.8787068 >>8784090 >>depleted uranium >He didn't die but he did get very very sick Come on, man.

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 00:18:24 2017 No.8787086

>>8786531
t. someone who was salty at AP lit in high school and doesn't understand what literary criticism as a field is

Contrary to popular belief, it's not this simple. In a general sense, literary criticism doesn't purport to be an end all, be all interpretation- it intends to suggest connections that the reader doesn't see at first, and from these connections, examine a works' place in the entire literary canon/society at the time. Someone saying gatsby's green light represents greed is on the level of a middle school paper. An advanced paper would have to not only justify the plausible support for this idea, but far more importantly, discuss what it implies.

The actual intellectual value is in the discussion of what it implies that the light could represent greed, not just assigning meaning to symbols.

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 01:07:01 2017 No.8787215

>>8787086
>An advanced paper would have to not only justify the plausible support for this idea, but far more importantly, discuss what it implies.
So you're saying they pile the bullshit much higher and deeper.

>it intends to suggest connections that the reader doesn't see at first
Also known as making up bullshit.

I get that it comes from something sensible: you read something from another era, intended for an audience you're not a part of, and you have to study to get the references, so you get companion works and lectures from people who have intensively studied that period. The problem is that it turns into a bullshitting competition.

When you start making elaborate shit up on your own and trying to argue that it's a special secret easter egg the author really intended and carefully hid for only the very cleverest readers, you've gone outside the range of respectable pursuits, and into the range from pretentious masturbation to mental illness.

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 01:12:35 2017 No.8787230

>>8787215
See you're still missing the point. None of these papers are pretending to find "easter eggs" that the author intended. We understand that the author did not consider everything we do; it isn't like we are solving a puzzle they have masterfully concocted.

That's the problem with the old parable where a kid asked an author "lel did you actually mean the blue curtains to represent sadness" and he was like "lel no" and that's because the kid is in a dumb high school class where the teacher feeds you these symbols and their "meanings".

That's not what the real field is like at all. I encourage you to read some literary criticism academic papers, and not just base your expectations off of what was assigned to you in high school

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 01:29:25 2017 No.8787272

>>8787230
>>>An advanced paper would have to not only justify the plausible support for this idea, but far more importantly, discuss what it implies.
>>So you're saying they pile the bullshit much higher and deeper.
>We understand that the author did not consider everything we do; it isn't like we are solving a puzzle they have masterfully concocted.
>>>An advanced paper would have to not only justify the plausible support for this idea
Why would you need to justify plausible support for something that you're admitting you just made up? You're running this around in circles and contradicting yourself but pretending not to have. In other words, embodying the spirit of literary criticism.

>That's the problem with the old parable where a kid asked an author "lel did you actually mean the blue curtains to represent sadness" and he was like "lel no"
Except there isn't a problem with it.

You've trained yourself to eat shit and truly believe it is delicious good food. You should expect nothing but mockery and disgust.

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 01:31:57 2017 No.8787279

>>8787272
>Contributing to society and gaining useful skills

DID THE MAN WHO INVENTED COLLEGE GO TO COLLEGE?

No, because he invented that shit. Nothing wrong with going to college and getting a degree, I envy you deep down. But just because you may have more money than me, or whatever it is. I'm a human being and I deserve respect. If you won't give it to me, I don't need it from you.

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 01:38:02 2017 No.8787297

>>8787279
This isn't me.

>>8787215
>>8787272
I'm a math and physics major. I just happen to go a school that isn't total shit, and interact with people that aren't engineering autists, so I've broken out of the fedora-tier high school mindset of "muh humanities are made up bs".

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 02:24:23 2017 No.8787411 >>8787215 >>8787272 Imagine being this small-minded. Read a nice piece of literature and think about it for a few minutes. You might learn something.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 02:25:47 2017 No.8787415 >>8787297 >I'm a math and physics major. More power to you man, but in all seriousness if you can keep up with both majors at your school then both programs are a joke. One or the other in any school worth their weight would be overwhelming enough.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 03:43:27 2017 No.8787583 >>8786387 >stainless steel >non-magnetic And here you are giving a janitor shit for being unintelligent.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 04:17:04 2017 No.8787631 File: 143 KB, 1640x1093, 23566542.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8786387 >they use non-magnetic stainless steel screws.

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 04:26:40 2017 No.8787643

Some cunt once put an unlabeled beaker with about 250ml of a transparent liquid on my bench.
When I was cleaning up I decided to pour it into the solvent container, since I have no idea what it is.
Less than a second after pouring it in it splashed back at my face and all over my arm. It burned quite unpleasantly.
Turns out it was conc. Sulphuric Acid.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 04:32:41 2017 No.8787648 >>8780974 why didn't he calmly take off his pants and take a shower? why wasn't he wearing a coat? How concentrated was that HCl anyway?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 04:35:05 2017 No.8787651 >>8782717 Moral water boils at 373.15K

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 04:38:07 2017 No.8787654 >>8787583 >not using Austenite Fuck off, digusting Ferrite and Perlite peasant

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 04:40:47 2017 No.8787659
File: 407 KB, 4500x4334, 1474743626204.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>damage 6 figure worth lab instrument accidently
>panic
>quietly cover up the scene to make it look like it was the previous guy using it who broke it
>a few days later
>all hell breaks lose
>the poor guy gets an absolute shitstorm from the lab technician and head of department
>angrily mentions how the department is set back financially by 3 months because of this
>the guy bursts in tears crying
>actually drops out a few days later
>3 months later
>The instrument is repaired
>any users who log in is now recorded automatically by the system for when and how long they use it
>one day
>simply switch on the instrument
>it doesn't turn on
>my blood runs cold
>notice I didn't actually log in the system yet
>flee the scene
>mfw they still dont know it was me

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 05:04:15 2017 No.8787674 >>8777841 I've almost done it working on model airplanes. Thin CA can splatter in directions you don't expect, it has very low viscosity. Ordinary brand-name Super Glue (tm) that they sell in those puny little tubes is much thicker though.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 05:20:53 2017 No.8787692 >>8787659 Are you clumsy or just a brainlet?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 05:33:11 2017 No.8787707 >>8780432 >I use concentrated HCl fumes to clear my sinuses

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 06:12:02 2017 No.8787732

Baby stuff
>3rd year bio lab
>prokariotic genetics so every class involves plating bacteria at some point
>brainlet working on bunsen burner
>passes arm above the flame
>girl who was next to him is dumbfounded by his burning lab coat
>finally snaps out of it and warns him

He wore the burned lab coat the rest of the semester

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 06:15:36 2017 No.8787736 >>8787651 >Moral water boils at 373.15K >at 373.15K >over 200 Kelvin These statements are fully compatible. Also, I forgot to mention that the lab was a near perfect vacuum space at the time, so the exact boiling point was lower of course.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 06:21:03 2017 No.8787741 >>8782852 A colloquial term for high morality water is holy water.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 06:27:30 2017 No.8787747 >>8787736 Oh I see. I'm more used to labs being high-pressure environments.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 06:30:47 2017 No.8787751 >>8787659 kek. I used to do this kind of shit to my brothers when I broke something as a kid.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 07:37:56 2017 No.8787831 >>8776469 >tfw you become John Connor

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 09:43:43 2017 No.8787985 >>8778368 >every time wow what a retard maybe he shouldn't study here

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 12:19:18 2017 No.8788192 >>8786368 >amerifat

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 12:24:29 2017 No.8788195

>>8781008
>>8781122

The problem is that many folks in this field are generally terrible at being managers. Inevitably, when they get promoted they don't keep up with or hire someone to care for the mundane aspects that keep everything running smoothly.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 12:43:49 2017 No.8788227 >>8773933 Yeh he's asking why you'd ever make a circuit consisting of various batteries with no load

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 12:51:10 2017 No.8788240 >chemistry lab >Long hair >Watching close to the Bunsen to see if it was on >Chikensmell.jpg >Burned hair everywhere

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 14:15:33 2017 No.8788362 >>8788227 for the lulz i wanted to find a stray piece of uncoated metal wire, connect to the circuit, make it go red from the heat, and cut things through (I had done this before during another lab )

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 14:31:24 2017 No.8788415

>second year animal biology lab
>have to dissect cricket
>they aren't pre-killed, just cooled to slow their movement
>have to line up to grab them out of their container
>it's a race to get in line because by the time the people in the back reach the box, the crickets are wide awake
>girl squirms and knocks the box over releasing a dozen crickets into the room

We managed to catch most of them.

>have to dissect them now
>have to kill them the old-fashioned way, beheading
>have to place them in a petri dish and behead them with the lid
>they will try very hard to escape
>even after you behead them, they'll still try to escape
>one of them did
>screams as a headless cricket starts bouncing around

They move around for about half an hour. You can do all kinds of ridiculous things to the body and it will still move. I stuck like 4 pins into it, removed the legs, removed the exoskeleton, and it was still moving. Just a little ball of flesh wriggling around on the petri dish.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 14:40:35 2017 No.8788437 >>8788415 That sounds pretty horrifying. Imagine if you did that with one of those giant insects. Damn.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 15:11:51 2017 No.8788497 File: 24 KB, 399x388, 1449474772475.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8788415 I fucking hate bugs so much. I wouldn't be able to do this shit.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 15:32:30 2017 No.8788542 >>8782717 >Lab partner passes out and later dies nigga, is you serious?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 15:32:59 2017 No.8788543 >>8788415 I fucking hate bugs, so I would love doing that.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 16:03:42 2017 No.8788607 >>8787415 >haha everyone is as lazy as me

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 16:16:51 2017 No.8788635 >>8786120 How does a competition entail that cheating is allowed? Ponder it.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 16:27:39 2017 No.8788674 >>8782717 great post

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 16:28:04 2017 No.8788678

>be EE major
>supposed to put together a small circuit with opamp and measure stuff
>bring up datasheet to check which leg does what
>8 pins
>ok let's see, VCC, GND, in+, in0-, out+, out-...
>what the fuck is offset
>hmm the datasheet shows that to measure the offset voltage you can put a potentiometer between the offset pins
>oh well let's just put a resistor in there
>wait, our offset is probably like zero so we don't need to compensate any offset
>let's just short those pins, what a brilliant idea
>power on
>why are we not getting any good measurements?
>hey does that opamp feel warm to you?
>is it supposed to be this warm?
>it's probably just a bad component lol, let's get a new one and try again
>get another opamp
>hey do you smell burning plastic?

>high school chem lab
>redox reactions
>Fe2O3 + Mg or something like that
>lab partner as always doesn't listen to teacher and just storms in front to grab test tube and ingredients while I'm preparing the bunsen burner
>burner going, he comes back with tube full of greyish powder
>heat
>heat some more
>everyone else's concoctions are popping and fizzling
>ours isn't doing anything
>"maybe it's not hot enough"
>tube starts to glow red and bottom starts curving downwards
>literally melting the tube
>teacher spots this, comes over and slaps us on the back of the heads
>turns out friend assumed powder was premixed ferrous oxide and magnesium
>it was actually just Fe2O3, the Mg was in another container on the other side of the teacher's table
>which teacher had explained at the start

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 16:29:50 2017 No.8788683 >>8786120 I am European and precisely because school is a competition at some level, people like the sabotaging moron above need to get the fuck out of labs

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 16:49:24 2017 No.8788740

>work in a lab that uses liquid nitrogen
>accidentally spill some in the hall way when drawing it from a dewar
>libshit professor sees this and freaks the fuck out and starts yelling about how we are destroying the climate and shit
>tries to explain that it was perfectly safe
>freaks out anyway and cancels his class down the hallway

when did uni professors become so retarded?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 17:00:58 2017 No.8788794 >maths student >working in the math lab >someone drops a pen Fortunately we were all wearing eye-protectors, but shit got dicey there for a minute.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 17:01:47 2017 No.8788796 >>8788794 Yeah, absolutely terrifying. Couldn't sleep right for days.

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 17:06:18 2017 No.8788818

>>8787230
I agree with the gist of your argument, but I would add that the literary interpretation of the work has nothing to do with the intent of the author. It is not simply that the interpretation varies from intent (of the author), it is that the two are wholly separate and should not concern each other in their respective formulation. Any extra-literal meaning imputed to a work need only be consistent; references to what an author did or did-not mean by certain symbols are unimportant.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 17:07:10 2017 No.8788820 >>8788683 Why exactly would school be a competition?

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 17:10:21 2017 No.8788829 >>8788740 It depends how much you spilled. Large liquid nitrogen spills can cause rapid asphyxiation due to displacement of oxygen. If the spill was large, I might evacuate too. No climate effects, though.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 17:13:00 2017 No.8788840 >>8788796 >>8788794 If it was a fountain pen, then they can be fucking deadly. i still have a black ink mark embedded in my leg after accidentally poking my leg with it. fuckers are sharp.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 17:27:37 2017 No.8788891 >>8788794 >using a pen >in a math class Madmen, the lot of you.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 17:37:06 2017 No.8788909 >>8782743 This shit, folks. Thid shit is the shit that will make you want to go full Kurt Cobain.

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 19:50:25 2017 No.8789252 >>8787068 Uranium really isn't that bad, it's a lot of scaremongering.

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 22:16:21 2017 No.8789572
File: 21 KB, 202x204, 1305139527817.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>high school lab
>we have a few test cases we are supposed to do and make measurements
>chump on my group does a few and starts packing up
>I point out we have a few cases left
>he points to the theory and says we already know the results
>say we should do it still
>unplugs everything and says I can do it myself if I feel like it

I have not had any experimental labs in my uni courses but that had me almost tearing up losing all hope

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 23:37:40 2017 No.8789728

>paleo lab
>getting ready to smoke some trilobites
>switch on fume hood, slowly turn knob for gas line, spark striker above Bunsen burner
>no flame
>hmm, I can hear the gas flowing in so I know that's not the issue
>maybe the airflow from the hood is blowing out the flame? been an issue before
>turn off hood, repeat
>still nada
>try various combinations, can't light burner
>really activates my almonds
>finally realize the problem
>over spring break, some asshole hooked the Bunsen burner up to the vacuum line instead of the gas line, and I somehow didn't notice this at first
>mfw I was using a flint striker in an enclosed container with the open gas line spewing methane into it

and by "smoke some trilobites" I mean "puff NH4Cl sublimate onto mounted specimens so that we get better contrast when photographing them"

Anonymous Wed Mar 29 23:42:20 2017 No.8789737
File: 949 KB, 301x300, PANIC MORE.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8789728
same lab, different day
>organizing collections drawers for advisor
>as long as I have this drawer pulled out, might as well look back there to see what's stopping it from closing all the way
>um
>okay
>the reason it won't close all the way is because it's literally bumping into the gas line that runs to the countertop nozzle (drawers are in cabinet under a sink/gas/air line station)
>carefully replace drawer
>label prominently so we don't get blown up

it's kind of a wonky lab because it was built a while ago and a lot of the stuff has been handed down from previous paleontologists/sedimentologists

>>	Anonymous Wed Mar 29 23:54:24 2017 No.8789753 >go to the lab >turn on my computer >start reading some papers >eventually write a few lines of code >run code >get good numbers >commit code to git, send message to advisor on slack >write an abstract >go home feels good not being a wetlab cuck lmao

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 00:17:21 2017 No.8789782 Something for that special person in your life: http://www.sigmaaldrich.com/catalog/product/aldrich/328081?lang=en&region=US

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 00:57:43 2017 No.8789833 >>8779159 got through all of physics and chem lab by calculating perfect values and writing down bullshit procedures i did to get 2-5% errors, always one in like 1.5 hrs

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 01:06:23 2017 No.8789843 >>8776480 >the sheer velocity of the fart

Anonymous Thu Mar 30 01:09:55 2017 No.8789849
File: 195 KB, 364x397, 1430211271103.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Chem II class final. Drop solution 2/3 into the final. Teacher gives me a replacement 'you only have an hour left, you probably won't make it now' Thank him and get to work. Take D on final, get B in class.

It was pretty funny. Hahahahaha.

Anonymous Thu Mar 30 02:24:37 2017 No.8789943

>>8789849
Holy shit are you the kid who fucked up so hard he's trying to console himself through shitposting?

I'm sorry man, you don't gotta be a cagey bitch, you can just come forward and say you're a brainlet and a failure. None of us will treat you any differently, because we already knew.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 02:26:40 2017 No.8789950 >>8787741 Underrated. Very much so.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 04:05:56 2017 No.8790052 >>8789849 >brainlets

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 10:57:34 2017 No.8790616 >>8788437 I've done some experiments with huge Madagascar hissing cockroaches. They all vomited when I used carbon dioxide anaesthesia. They also carry disgusting mites with them.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 12:26:15 2017 No.8790796 >>8782717 i don't get the fucking joke

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 12:31:26 2017 No.8790805 File: 500 KB, 1920x916, .png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8787583 >>8787631 why do retards always have the tendency to try and shame others for being retarded only to expose their own retardation in the process?

Anonymous Thu Mar 30 13:21:43 2017 No.8790914

>>8773608
When I was an undergrad I was working on a magnetized plasma experiment. Fields around a couple tesla, safe enough to work around, but you've got to follow standard MRI safety procedures (no metal, etc)

Left the lab one time to grab some lunch. When I went to pay my credit card didn't work. Tried my bank card. Didn't work. Figured their system must be fucked and pulled out some cash. Got back to the building and I couldn't get in because my building keycard wasn't reading.

... then I suddenly realized I'd spent the entire morning walking around a giant magnet with my wallet still in my pocket. All my cards were wiped.

Anonymous Thu Mar 30 16:02:13 2017 No.8791356

>working in organic synthesis lab
>work with NaH, which reacts violently with moisture
>it's been raining, it's extra humid today
>oven-dried my glassware, added the NaH, and sealed the flask
>immediately put it into an air free environment to prevent moisture from getting into the flask
>all is good
>need to add the alcohol to start the reaction
>place a nitrogen filled balloon on top of the flask to ensure hydrogen gas doesn't build up and make the flask explode
>added alcohol dropwise
>alcohol is bubbling, a good sign that the NaH is being the base that is should be
>balloon fucking pops
>PANIC
>septum on top of the flask is building pressure
>decide I need to open the flask because a fireball is safer than a fireball with glass
>open flask to atmosphere to return it to reasonable pressure
>no explosion
>reaction failed because it wasn't air free

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 16:52:55 2017 No.8791484 >>8790796 What exactly don't you get?

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 17:21:25 2017 No.8791541 >>8791356 ever heard of this guy called schlenk?

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 18:56:22 2017 No.8792099 >>8778548 Wouldn't matter anyway. Cancer is only so bad because it comes from your own body. Other people's cancer is a foreign object and a normally functioning immune system with straight up murder the fuck out of it.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 20:29:41 2017 No.8792520 >>8791484 WHAT THE FUCK IS HIGH MORALITY WATER

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 20:48:02 2017 No.8792561 >>8792520 water prepared by somebody with special connections

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 20:59:13 2017 No.8792591 >>8787411 >nice piece of literature Non-fiction doesn't require literary analysis.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 21:31:42 2017 No.8792670 >someone put plastic in the glass waste bin >10pts off of everyone's lab Only exciting thing that has happened to me. Plus one of the like 4 black people was in my lab, and she fainted once because she didn't take her meds

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 21:37:47 2017 No.8792683 >>8782720 That shitty lab shouldve provided him with proper equipment.

Anonymous Thu Mar 30 22:59:56 2017 No.8792836

>chem lab
>setting up for the lab
>partner attaches a single paperclip to both sides of a battery
>puts it on desk and forgets about it
>scrape almost all of the goo out of glassware, set it on the desk
>a minute later it explodes like a fucking grenade, battery blew up and shattered the beaker

dont remember what the experiment was, but had a 0.002% margin of error, which was literally impossible with our equipment and was purely from adding too much/little stuff in that happened to equalize by pure chance
>professor says that our results are incorrect and that we only got a near perfect synthesis by pure luck, but will give us 100% anyways since we only had 0.002% error
wew

also a girl spilled ~250ml of NaCl on her once since sombody bumped into her from behind. had to use the shower thing. cupless bra + black thong, professor yelled at us all to leave while trying to shield her with his hands. almost everybody managed to take pictures, the chick autopassed the class since she got burns on her stomach and hands

Anonymous Thu Mar 30 23:13:31 2017 No.8792864
File: 27 KB, 399x328, kurtstanza.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>professor is a persian woman with a very thick accent
>guy and his lab partner are squirting eachother with DI water out of pipettes
>professor walks over
>"yo like squirt men? squirt him affer class, joo look like peesh self, people die in lab"
>professor is furious over the horseplay, takes another pipette and squirts him with it
>guy freaks out
>pipette was full of HCl
>mfw

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 23:19:35 2017 No.8792877 >>8792670 did you feel her up?

Anonymous Thu Mar 30 23:22:27 2017 No.8792883

>"do not look directly at the light when you do the experiment them as it can cause eye damage"
>hold it over flask while looking at students
>every single one staring at flask
>"DO NOT LOOK DIRECTLY AT THE LIGHT"
>everybody looks off in random directions
>sigh and release the sample
>watch as half the class invariably looks directly at light before jerking their head away in shock

every time.

Anonymous Thu Mar 30 23:25:20 2017 No.8792887
File: 968 KB, 290x200, this machine kills communists.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>chem lab
>chick brings necklace with a small amount of mercury in it because woman
>professor tells her to take it off and not to bring it to school again
>takes off necklace, hand shaking because professor is angry
>drops necklace
>professor's face as 2ml of mercury explodes across the floor

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 23:27:19 2017 No.8792893 >>8792864 fucking kek. was she hot?

Anonymous Thu Mar 30 23:30:07 2017 No.8792896

>>8792893
no she was morbidly obese which made it even funnier once she realized what she did

>puts hands on cheeks like 'the screamer'
>"o'h mah GAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAH"
>guy takes shirt off and teacher gives him a complementary uni science dept t-shirt
>prof gives him an A so that he wont rat her out
all's well that ends well

Anonymous Thu Mar 30 23:37:56 2017 No.8792909

>>8773608
During my time working at a national lab, my Russian colleague told me of a story where a physicist in the Soviet Union was working at a fixed target experiment at an accelerator. This physicist was in the beam enclosure working on something when the beam came on, something like 80 GeV if I recall correctly, and hit him right in the head. The guy didn't die, but holy shit.

>>	Anonymous Thu Mar 30 23:42:55 2017 No.8792919 >>8788891 >linear algebra final >use pen >professor asks me if i really want to use a pen >i confirm that i do since i'm used to it >"god be with you" and hands me the test >immediately regret my decision as i flip through the test >83% goodenough.bat

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 00:19:55 2017 No.8792988 >>8792836 >almost everybody managed to take pictures are people that fucking awful? is NaCl dangerous though?

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 00:21:45 2017 No.8792992 >>8792883 wat

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 00:26:02 2017 No.8792994 >>8792988 Probably Hcl

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 00:26:53 2017 No.8792996 >>8792883 Magnesium?

Anonymous Fri Mar 31 00:50:41 2017 No.8793024
File: 49 KB, 392x373, 1436793190543.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8773608
Gen Chem I (General Niggatry)
>By the time the semester ends every scale is fucked and wildly fluctuated nearly half a gram in any direction and we have to borderline abandon accurate measurements
>Glassware randomly goes missing from my drawer and the other user who keeps losing everything never reports the loss to the professor

Gen Chem I
>Having a slight giggle and call the TA over to help
>Cute girl who legit enjoys chemistry
>Me and partner apologize to her for having to bother her 400 times per day because we're retarded
>Really everyone of us in the back line are massive fuck ups and bother her constantly
>She laughs and says that she actually likes us
>lulwut
>She likes that despite being there for the 3 full hours we're able to laugh and have fun with our miserable failure
>She then laments about how the other class she TA's for all are resting dead face and quiet beyond reason
>Literally everyday it's like this

Ecology
>Group of 3 because our 4th dropped too late for a replacement
>Me and 2 whiney nigger chicks
>Constantly distracting me
>We're supposed to design an experiment dealing with plants and stomata
>completely forgot wtf stomata do
>Propose something about stomata absorbing water
>Professor signs off on it
>Half way through the semester it dawns on me how fucking retarded we are
>Our entire experiment is a fucking joke and it's too late to turn back
>None of our data makes sense anymore
>Presentation time
>Full damage control mode
>Doing good job at it
>Professor outs me for being retarded
>Reverse it and say that he's the tard who signed off on it in the first place
>Awkward silence as we're both outed as being morons
>Get an 85
Hue

Bio 112L
>Seat is by the centrifuge
>Some girl walks over
>Doesn't balance it
>Centrifuge starts going nuts
>Fairly reminiscent of when the washing machine isn't balanced
>Thing suddenly going ape shit 2 feet behind me nearly gives me a fucking heart attack

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 01:11:11 2017 No.8793055 >>8792994 >>8792988 NaCl is a common killer in chem labs

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 02:11:28 2017 No.8793142 >>8792988 meant HCl also yes people are going to take pictures of a woman's exposed breasts and barely covered vagina as she frantically rips her clothing off

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 02:51:21 2017 No.8793196 >>8793142 post pics?

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 02:58:35 2017 No.8793206 File: 49 KB, 800x600, KatawaShoujo106.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8793196 Here you go, you sick fuck.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 03:09:53 2017 No.8793220 >>8792988 NaCl is the most dangerous common lab chemical

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 04:04:21 2017 No.8793267 File: 56 KB, 800x450, accelerated.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8792909 Probably referring to this guy. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anatoli_Bugorski

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 06:52:06 2017 No.8793432 >>8777562 I believe this is fake. the city they are talking about "Campo Grande" is in Mato Grosso. Not Rio De Janeiro as they said in the article

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 13:43:24 2017 No.8794160 >>8792591 >still being this much of an uncultured cuckold why even have a brain at this point what a sad existence

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 14:44:20 2017 No.8794329 >>8777853 Maybe his thermocycler is broken and he has to do it in bucket the old the fashioned way.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 14:58:31 2017 No.8794346 >>8773608 Michealson&morley found the Aether Aries failure

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 17:22:14 2017 No.8794651 >>8792836 Thanks for this warning. I almost swam in the ocean and exposed myself to massive amounts of NaCl.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 17:33:33 2017 No.8794688 >>8782720 This is why you leave the trashcan outside the door.

>>	Anonymous Fri Mar 31 17:37:47 2017 No.8794699 >>8787643 > I pour unknown liquid on top of solvents. but the other person is the 'cunt'.

Anonymous Fri Mar 31 18:00:13 2017 No.8794764

>grad student pours a bunch of conc. acid waste into a mislabeled container
>chlorine gas everywhere
>fire department called out
>they run in with huge fire axes to fight the chlorine gas

Also,
>crazy German professor who's title is "lecture demonstrator"
>keeps a putrefaction experiment in the staff fridge
>someone accidentally opens it.

Anonymous Sat Apr 1 07:53:35 2017 No.8796065

> in high school chemsitry
> have to work in groups for some fucking reason when its a simple fucking pracitcal and all working in groups does is make everyone fucking up results and break glassware
anyways
> conductivty prac
> i request that 0.1 grams of barium chloride is disolved into 250 ml of water
> i just did the same for magnesium chloride and used a very small amount.
> for some reason no one is wearing any protective gear in the lab
> the fucking cunt put 100 grams in a 250 ml solution.
> i test conductivty and the meter is completely out of range so much so that i rinse it and its still out of range
> tell teacher 'oi i think the meters fucked'
> she comes over and just knockes the beaker over
toxic barium salts all over table and floor now
> i find out it had 100 g of barium chloride in it and freak out and tell her that she relaly should be wearing gloves and cleaning up properly
> yeah nah she'll be right
> she just soaks it up with tissues bare handed and doesn't even wash her hands
> the waste beaker gets left in the classroom where fucking little kids get taught as well, with a lethal amount of barium salts just sitting off to the side
baka

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 1 07:56:02 2017 No.8796071 >>8796065 I eat barium for breakfast

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 1 10:16:36 2017 No.8796288 >>8786748 Consider me triggered

>>	Anonymous Sat Apr 1 23:06:21 2017 No.8797588 >>8796071 sorry to hear about your ulcer :(

Anonymous Sat Apr 1 23:12:24 2017 No.8797597
File: 155 KB, 960x608, bacteria-156869_960_720.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>8773608
>Retard spilled a fucking container of aextremely antibiotic resistant modified strain of e-coli all over lab bench
>Doesn't tell instructor and tries to clean it up with paper towels
>Gets kicked out of class for nearly spreading a superbug across the school

Anonymous Sun Apr 2 09:06:11 2017 No.8798237

>>8773608
Did some fun but shitty project with two friends in high school, we wanted to make artificial vanilla scent, kind of succeeded.

We never failed but our teacher made something boil over violently inside one of those safety cabinets, the fuse went in the whole building. And if it hadn't been in a safety cabinet he would have gotten it all over himself which would have been rather dangerous.

Same teacher dropped a 10 liter-bucket of alcohol in the classroom, was really hard to breathe after that.

Anonymous Sun Apr 2 09:28:08 2017 No.8798252

>work in mining laboratory
>rock samples arrive in a box of dry ice (prevents desorption)
>end of the day comes
>guy decides that the best way to keep the dry ice cool is to put it in the cold room (4 degrees C)
>naturally the dry ice doesn't care about the 4 C and sublimates overnight, expanding to completely fill the cold room with CO2 gas
>somebody goes into the cold room the next morning and staggers out shortly after before they lost consciousness

Incident reports and escalations and investigations followed.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 09:30:19 2017 No.8798255 >>8792919 How are you even allowed not to use a pen on a final? We always have to write our finals with pen, pencils are not even remotely allowed.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 09:33:34 2017 No.8798257 >>8798255 I only had that in high school nobody cares in uni

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 11:08:05 2017 No.8798360 >>8787751 Except it probably wasn't anything worth 6 figures, and it's hard to drop out of a family when you're 12.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 12:03:45 2017 No.8798458 >>8775324 I agree

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 12:58:00 2017 No.8798533 >>8798257 >nobody cares in uni I am in university. And every exam contains a note that you should not write with pencil.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 14:31:25 2017 No.8798680 >>8798533 Still never really understood why, it's neater and messy mistakes can be erased.

Anonymous Sun Apr 2 16:38:13 2017 No.8798922

>>8798252
my dad's an ME working on audio electronics, and he told me a story about a nitrogen filled test chamber they use for some kind of acoustic testing IIRC.
one time a suit insisted on seeing the tests firsthand, and stood right in front of the test chamber door as they were opening it up afterwards, despite being advised to stand back. the techies had to catch him when he passed out from the wave of pure N2

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 17:23:03 2017 No.8799021 >>8792836 Bet the bitch was salty afterwards

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 18:39:16 2017 No.8799188 >>8782720 this is at least part the employers fault for not equipping him properly. They likely never instructed him about the cart either. He should file suit for unfair dismissal.

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 18:40:57 2017 No.8799193 >>8793267 He's wrinkle free on the irradiated side?

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 18:50:36 2017 No.8799212 >>8798922 pasta

>>	Anonymous Sun Apr 2 19:18:00 2017 No.8799286 >>8799212 and a very stale one at that

Anonymous Sun Apr 2 22:54:25 2017 No.8799688

>intro chem lab at uni
>Friend heats up some shit in a test tube for a few minutes using a Bunsen burner
>wasn't paying attention as to how to use the clamping device
>He hands it to me
>I squeeze it
>Test tube falls into desk
Ohshitniggerwtfareyoudoing.jpg
>Professor looks my way
>Quickly pick up with bare hands
>JFC it's super fuckin hot.
>Completely ignore profs' glances of disgust.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 3 00:48:52 2017 No.8799904 >>8798922 >>8799212 >>8799286 Pasta or the same guy posting it again? In any case, it's bullshit.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 3 01:10:06 2017 No.8799935 >>8798680 Shitty pencils and shitty erasers will leave a bunch of leftover marks. It's way easier to grade if all the shit that isn't important is just crossed out neatly.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 3 03:21:46 2017 No.8800101 >>8798680 so you can't alter it and you can't claim that it was altered.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 3 08:08:50 2017 No.8800377 >>8800101 there are those pens that you can rub out with friction though and there is correction ink

Anonymous Mon Apr 3 09:22:56 2017 No.8800464

>>Physics lab
>>making holograms
>>one of them is a sinusoidal holographic plate
>>(this means when you shine a laser back
>through you see a 2 dot diffraction pattern)
>>ours is crap and there are like 5th order dots
>>lolfuckit just take a photo and deal later
>>spray paint the additional dots out on paint
>>use this in our presentation and write up
>>95% in experiment

Anonymous Mon Apr 3 12:11:55 2017 No.8800700

>>8800464
I'm so glad that the TA in charge of our noobie physics lab doesn't give a single fuck.
We were talking about fudging some numbers as he walked by, and he didn't even acknowledge it.
We get full credit just for being able to fill out the lab sheet as well.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 3 12:21:24 2017 No.8800723 >>8773608 trying to get the blood pressure from an ankle in bio lab during the winter from a woman is rather gross, because they dont shave in the winter.

>>	Anonymous Mon Apr 3 18:28:44 2017 No.8801536 >undergraduate chemistry major >research experience I've never broken a single piece of glassware in my career

Anonymous Tue Apr 4 03:42:38 2017 No.8802477
File: 126 KB, 800x769, 1491288880463.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>11th grade gen chem
>lab period with partner
>he's reading off instructions to me while I do shit
>Have test tube of some solution and a piece of some metal
>"Place in hot water bath"
>mfw I dump the contents of the test tube into the hot water instead of submerging the tube in the water before my partner freaks the fuck out and tells me what I should have done
>no reaction happened so it was k

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 04:58:13 2017 No.8802570 Is anyone else irrationally afraid of the centrifuge? Everytime I use it, I think the lid is going to pop and the rotor is going to hit me.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 06:01:17 2017 No.8802632 >>8789833 I TA freshman chem lab and it's always really obvious when somebody does this. I don't take points because that's basically what I do for my research, and calculating that stuff takes more effort than actually doing the monkey work anyway.

Anonymous Tue Apr 4 06:15:54 2017 No.8802656

>>8787086
>t. someone who was salty at AP lit in high school and doesn't understand what literary criticism as a field is

Most STEM students don't take many courses involving literary criticism after maybe freshman year of college or after high school, and most people teaching those courses don't know what they're doing either so they operate on the "make up some ridiculous interpretation of a /lit/ work and give students who don't agree with me a bad grade" method.

Anonymous Tue Apr 4 06:19:13 2017 No.8802664
File: 111 KB, 597x336, babbysfirstyear.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

I have a pretty light-weight course load next semester, what should I do?

>General Chemistry I
>General Biology II
>Statistics
(11 credits)

>General Chemistry II
>Microbiology I
>Calculus I
(11 credits)

>tfw too eager to do stuff
>tfw not advanced enough to make any meaningful contributions in a lab

How can I make myself into someone that a professor would want to take me under their wing?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 08:58:19 2017 No.8802876 >>8799193 The right side of his face is paralyzed

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 16:46:55 2017 No.8803882 >>8775611 >tfw only beaten up scratched safety googles used by generations of students its safer without them because you cant see shit with them

Anonymous Tue Apr 4 17:37:20 2017 No.8804019
File: 32 KB, 510x286, 110417_d_xl.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

2 groups in the lab
1 female teacher
1 girls group 1 boy group

teacher fears bunsenburners
all time someone has to hold the gashose with his hand all the time

>making glue
>teacher screams at us and takes our >burner away .because the tube guy >scratched his nose for 1 second
>gives us a bad mark albeit our glue >worked

>girl group hasnt even lit the burner jet
>but the gas is running on full power
>girls try to lit the gas
>flame burst up to the celing

teacher doesnt even notices it because she is busy with controling the wild boys.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 17:52:08 2017 No.8804072 >>8774969 How much per ounce?

Anonymous Tue Apr 4 18:11:34 2017 No.8804120

>>8804019
Our biochem teacher had to slap a lighter out of a girls hand after realizing she planned to lit it after a while talking to her friend with the gas running

ps: i saw it and said nothing. Wasnt really thinking it would lead to a huge ass flame.
Kind of feel half bad when thinking about it, but nothing happened so i can sleep at night

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 18:18:29 2017 No.8804142 >>8792836 How come I never see lab accidents at my university?

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 18:26:33 2017 No.8804160 >>8804019 >Female professor Just drop the class, I have never had a female "professor" be anything but a biased piece of shit who gives high grades to female students for being female.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 18:29:31 2017 No.8804168 >>8775616 /r/thathappened

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 18:31:20 2017 No.8804172 >>8775470 The worst part about this is it means she's a massive slut with poor dental hygiene

Anonymous Tue Apr 4 18:43:39 2017 No.8804190

>>8773608
>Organic chemistry
>Making banana oil
>Pretty good at this shit so I'm getting the best yield in the class
>Last step in purification, get a head rush and faint
>Banana oil all over me
>Melts the goggles
>Go to emergency eyewash and take off my clothing
>Smell like I got bukaked by banana laffy taffy and chased by bees who wanted to fuck me for a couple days despite vigorous showers

and that's how I found out I have atypical migraines.

Anonymous Tue Apr 4 21:18:25 2017 No.8804545
File: 34 KB, 655x527, 02f.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

In highschool we did a lab in which we took cells from the inside of our cheek and then amplified the dna. Me and my dumbass friend confused the directions and we ended up throwing away our samples and replaced it with a buffer solution. Needless to say, absolutely showed up in the gel electrophoresis.
Another time we were smearing agar plates with bacteria and used distilled water instead of sterile water. Again, no results.

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 21:22:46 2017 No.8804562 >>8777785 >>Some guy says "no", proceeds to run it across his palm haha what the fuck

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 21:27:56 2017 No.8804573 File: 169 KB, 318x308, grin.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>8802477 >"Place in hot water bath" >dump the contents of the test tube into the hot water

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 21:29:38 2017 No.8804577 >>8787659 S A T A N I C

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 21:34:05 2017 No.8804579 >>8804190 What was the last step you were doing? distillation?

Anonymous Tue Apr 4 21:37:10 2017 No.8804586

>>8773608
There are quiet a lot
>chemical lab
>discarded the wrong phase after a 2 day synthesis
>underestimated the exothermic reaction and the whole soup squirted to the ceiling.
>reaction was put of control and whole lab was filled with NO2, had to be evacuated

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 21:43:11 2017 No.8804598 >>8804190 Lol

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 21:46:27 2017 No.8804609 >>8802477 Potassium would have reacted though

>>	Anonymous Tue Apr 4 23:17:50 2017 No.8804856 >>8803882 >safety squints

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 5 05:49:34 2017 No.8805451 >>8773645 what shitty ghetto lab doesn't mandate safety goggles when working with that kind of equipment

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 5 06:53:20 2017 No.8805502 >>8804160 [tipping intensifies]

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 5 07:01:52 2017 No.8805506 >adding DCM to the sep funnel with the stopcock opened (classic). >contact between the electrodes with the labs PSU at max (320V 8.5A) >blew up a glassware flask for too much pressure buildt in

Anonymous Wed Apr 5 07:12:50 2017 No.8805512
File: 385 KB, 689x744, sreflux.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>second year undergrad organic labs
>Some multi step synthesis shit
>Need to do a reflux
>Lab partner spent half time dicking around with friends - we're ways behind
>Rush reflux setup in the hood
>"leave for 30 minutes"
>TA walking around, checking setups
>Gets to ours
>Smashes the sash down
>"whose reflux is this?"
>fugggggggggggg
>mfw realise I stoppered the condenser
>Get major telling off
>TA successfully disarms my setup
>At least our % yield was good

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 5 07:14:40 2017 No.8805515 >>8783618 Underrated

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 5 07:21:53 2017 No.8805527 >>8773608 I'm not a lab rat but once in the chemistry building in my uni someone fucked up that bad that they had to send firemen in nbc suits to clean that shit up.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 5 07:28:16 2017 No.8805535 >>8787068 you will be amazed at all those kids that grew up playing around tank wrecks in iraq, du is a widely used component in anti tank munitions

Anonymous Wed Apr 5 07:51:35 2017 No.8805550
File: 3 KB, 168x218, 1491364889362.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>some kid back in high school would squirt this alcohol based hand sanitiser all over the sinks in the science labs
>when we'd do experiments using matches, he'd light up the hand sanitiser
>the flame was nearly invisible, but extremely hot
>whenever someone went to put their hands under the tap to wash them, they'd nearly get a 1st degree burn from this fucking fire in the sink
>mfw that kid was me

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 5 07:59:24 2017 No.8805554 >>8773640 How's his post reddit? The only way you would know is if you're a redditor yourself you dumb faggot.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 5 11:31:37 2017 No.8805792 >>8788740 lol you should have fucked with her. >STAND BACK EVERYBODY THIS IS 100% PURE NITROGEN

Anonymous Wed Apr 5 13:30:58 2017 No.8805996
File: 43 KB, 640x640, fiber based application of aqueous metal oxide silicate suspension on vitrified kaolin base.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>kaolinite vitrification lab
>testing the colors a metal oxide/silicate mixture create upon fusion
>mixture is applied as a water based suspension to kaolin base
>it settles out so the sample bottle needs vigorous shaking for homogenization
>lid is loose because threads are clogged with dried solution
>fail to notice this and shake anyway
>lid pops off
>am now drenched head to toe in sample

Learned to always hold the lid on securely when shaking something from that incident.

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 5 14:32:44 2017 No.8806137 >>8784909 that's the point you spiv. Increase torque, lower rpm

>>	Anonymous Wed Apr 5 15:02:37 2017 No.8806189 File: 16 KB, 204x162, 1459984625108.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >spill some boiling concentrated sulfuric acid on a hot plate >evaporates instantly >corrosive teargas cloud fills the lab >lab has to be evacuated

Advanced search
Text to find
Subject [?]Search by post subject. Leave empty for any.
Username [?]Search for user name. Leave empty for any user name.
Tripcode [?]Search for tripcode. Leave empty for any.
Email [?]Search by email. Leave empty for any.
Filename [?]Search by image filename. Leave empty for any.
From Date [?]Enter what date to start searching from. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
To Date [?]Enter what date to start searching until. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
Image hash
Search in	All Posts OPs Only
Deleted posts	Show all posts Show only deleted posts Only show non-deleted posts
Internal posts	Show all posts Show only internal posts Show only archived posts
Order	New posts first Old posts first
Capcode	All Posts Only by Users Only by Mods Only by Admins Only by Developers
Results	Posts Threads
Action	[ Simple ]

/sci/ - Science & Math