/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.8761205]

Stories about other people getting caught cheating on exams/projects? Epic cheating schemes?

I TA an undergraduate programming class. Just busted a freshman for cheating on an assignment

[Anonymous No.8761236]

>>8761205
> Computer architecture class
> Freshman students write address book program for one project
> Implemented in assembly for ARM architecture
> GitHub repo surfaces from past student with lots of relevant code snippets
> Professor knows, warns students again in lecture about using other peoples' code
> Students have already agreed to college of engineering penalties for plagiarism and cheating
> Still catch 5 students with same code from repo
> Can't explain why
> Forwarded to college academic disciplinary board
> O shit

Happens multiple times a year

[Anonymous No.8761237]

>>8761205

[Anonymous No.8761243]

pretty bad if you have to cheat in a programming class.

[Anonymous No.8761245]

>cheating on a first year programming assignment

I hope you laughed at him, too.

[Anonymous No.8761255]

>>8761237
> God tier calculator

Saved me in high school AP chemistry

[Anonymous No.8761259]

>>8761243
Especially retarded because we tell them at the beginning of every semester that we use a fingerprinting system for all turned in assignments

[Anonymous No.8761264]

I typed out a bunch of notes on my calculator for a test.

I didn't do it for more than one test because it wasn't worth the effort for me. I'm surprised other people didn't do it, though.

[Anonymous No.8761378]

>>8761205
>biochemistry final
>we're allowed to bring a cheat sheet (printed, double-sided A4 paper)
>hour into test, randomly hear Sal Khan say, "ATP is synthesized as a result..." or something along those lines
>just assume it was the TA's computer
>don't hear anymore Sal Khan

My friend later told me it was a girl in the back using her phone to cheat. I have no idea if she was penalized for it, or if the TA even realized what happened.

[Anonymous No.8761416]

>>8761255
HASD?

[Anonymous No.8761429]

>>8761205
>be me
>first year in math degree
>go to finals, real analysis exam
>do every proof citing theorems by number in the book they used to teach us
>"anon you cheated"

fucking brainlets.

[Anonymous No.8761434]

>>8761264
This is how I passed my calculus 2 final. TI-84 StudyCards app.

[Anonymous No.8761439]

>>8761378
I wonder if in the middle of an answer she out of nowhere changed pens to switch colors.

[Anonymous No.8761641]

>last semester's math final
>dude in front of me cheats
>i am shocked beyond this world
>no consequences
i don't like people cheating

[Anonymous No.8761664]

>>8761237
>mfw I have this calculator
>mfw I never use it to cheat
these other faggots using TI-89 bitch about it but will turn around and program relevant equations in their calculations history.

fuck them reee

[Anonymous No.8761667]

>>8761641
In the end of the day, at least in Europe, its about passing classes with a good grade or passing at all because the professor is a complete lunatic.

Learn stuff, understand it but still cheat if you have to in order to pass. You have to own the responsibility that comes with being caught.

Being a brainlet is not easy.

[Anonymous No.8761671]

>>8761434
>calculus 2 final
>TI-84
>calculator allowed on calculus exam
American education is so pleb tier.

[Anonymous No.8761672]

During my first semester in college, my English teacher gave out an essay that he'd written to use as an example, but wouldn't let any students keep them because he had a student in the past write their name on it and try to turn it in as their own.

[Anonymous No.8761686]

>>8761671
I never even used mine.
They're only allowed to keep the diversity going.

[Anonymous No.8761745]

>>8761671
I'm American and I wasn't allowed to use my Calculator for 95% of Calc I, and none of Calc II or III

[Anonymous No.8761762]

>>8761745
I'm american and we were allowed to use it but honestly there was no point.

up until about the second half of calc 3 there was no reason to have to use a calculator

[Anonymous No.8761781]

>that kid who didn't cheat when everyone else did and he got a lower grade than his friend who did so he tattled to the professor

[Anonymous No.8761797]

>be me
>see some guy trying to peak at my answers
>fill in wrong answers on purpose
>erase and fill in correctly at the last moment
>mfw he failed that class

[Anonymous No.8761801]

>>8761781
Happens all the time at my Uni.

We call it University of Butthurt.

[Anonymous No.8762124]

>kid submits code for homework
>another student's name is in the comments

[Anonymous No.8762441]

>>8761745
Same, I never got to use a calculator in any math class in college. I don't think I did in most of my high school classes either

[Anonymous No.8762473]

>>8761205
>Be TA
>Was asked to TA because I was one of the only non brainlets in all of CS dept.
>Shitty late night on Friday lab time
>30 mexicans/neckbeards in a lab I'm supposed teach/monitor.
>Brainlets ask if they can move tables together
>Let them
>They turn in the same lab everyday
>Give them 10/10 on all labs& all homework/quizzes/tests because they cheat and get it all right
>TFW they have to spend next year catching up or just flunk out with debt.
>Don't cheat kids
I think 1 of them made it through second year then got expelled for cheating the next year

[Anonymous No.8762485]

>>8761205

>really nervous dude cheats during mid term exam
>professor finds him out
>tells him he failed the test
>takes his cheat papers
>few months of class left
>during next class professor pretends to forget something
>gets the student's cheat paper out of pocket
>"ah interesting, now I remember what I should have known"
>professor does this for the rest of the semester

[Anonymous No.8762496]

>>8761797
>Mfw I did the opposite of the idiot infront of me and got a solid "B".

[Anonymous No.8762498]

>>8762473
Another
>First year
>Drink all night, every night
>Show up to class drunk
>Show up to tests drunk
>95% or more on everything
>Friends get mad because they think I cheat
>All my professors start watching me very carefully during tests.
>One day after test hippy math prof asks me how I do so well
>Open my mouth, reek of alcohol
>Tells me to go sober up, go to his office afterwards
>Next day go in, asks me how I can be so drunk and still get such 'high marks' in his diffeq class
>Tell him it's a terribly easy course/subject
>Talk, realize he's just as dumb as the students
> Leave get drunk
>College in America

[Anonymous No.8762511]

>>8762498
Fucking degenerate. You disgust me.

[Anonymous No.8762513]

>>8762511
You aren't mad me, you're mad at your IQ.

[Anonymous No.8762515]

>>8762498
Thats honestly amazing.
I'm doing fuckups all the time if didn't sleep enough or get distracted by noise around me. Good on you anon.

[Anonymous No.8762517]

>>8761205
>math notes on a small cheat sheet
lol, literal retard tier
why would you do this when you could program all the notes and equations you want into your calculator?
math is by far the easiest class to cheat in

[Anonymous No.8762571]

>>8762485
prof savage af

[Anonymous No.8762587]

>>8761205
watched someone get caught cheating during the bar exam. very satisfying. it was a black person.

[Anonymous No.8762589]

>>8762513
impressive. you at a state school?

[Anonymous No.8762592]

>>8762517
What kind of brainlet school do you go to that lets use a calculator in a math class?

[Anonymous No.8762596]

>>8762589
Yeah, it's supposedly a good school for engineers and science but I'm not to sure. I would hesitate to claim being taught by a professor is better than self teaching.

[Anonymous No.8762603]

>>8761205
>online midterm
>5 hour time limit
>10 days to take
>open note, open book
>wink wink nod nod from teacher
>I take test early and tell people whats on it
>people still get Ds and Cs

and people wonder why the accreditation board is always kicking our ass. Its fucking crazy, they want tests with more questions but they don't care about how crazy easy it is to just >right click> Google Search For. Zero monitoring software at all, it's all in browser.

I've told my professors this, and they sorta just hand waved it. Some have no idea what I'm talking about. So I just wikileak that shit and tell everyone in class, if they arn't going to be rigorous, then everyone desires the same chance to cheat.

[Anonymous No.8762622]

>>8762513
Nope, not enough of a brainlet to ever bother testing for IQ.

[Anonymous No.8762623]

>>8762622

[Anonymous No.8762633]

>>8762623
Drunk again, degenerate?

[Anonymous No.8762642]

>>8761797
I did this in one of my classes in highschool. I was taking Spanish I or II as a Junior/Senior (Because I didn't want to continue doing French so I went back to easy-town) and I saw someone cheating off my test so I figured out what all the right answers were but put down all wrong answers. I then pretended to spend a long time looking over my answers waiting for them to hand in their test, and when they got up, I went back and changed all my answers back to the correct ones.

[Anonymous No.8762646]

>>8762485
>Now I remember what I should have known.
Honestly, this is why the concept of cheating only exists in academia, because anywhere else it would, in fact, be entirely acceptable to write down bored for reference, or even to look something up. In fact, it would be expected. Your boss might actually fire you if you didn't know something, and you just decided to wing it rather than looking up the answer, or asking for help.

[Anonymous No.8762649]

>>8761797
This
Some dumb cunt in AP Biology copied my shit multiple times so I got tired of it and did this to her on the exam. She later failed the course

[Anonymous No.8762671]

>>8761205

posted this before

>First semester undergrad physics
>whole crew of Indians always sits in the back of class
>professor is pretty chill of course, and even allows programmable graphing calculators with the caveat that you not use those functions.
>Good faith system
>Class is piss easy so why risk it?
>we're offered a couple different times to take the final because our class size was unusual and the professor was super lax
>I go on the second day and the professor arrives late with a whole box of calculators, and tells everyone he's had to make an emergency policy change due to systemic cheating, and that we're all required to place our cell phones on our desks in a visible location, and hand over any graphing calculators we brought to the exam.
>turns out during the previous exam the entire crew of Indians created a cheating network that involved programmable calculators, and texting each other the answers in the bathroom
>professor thought several people were acting strange and had an awkward confrontation with a few individuals in the bathroom.
>Every single one of them failed the class and all recieved disciplinary actions for violating code of conduct

For a fucking freshman physics course.

[Anonymous No.8762672]

>>8762649
nice

[Anonymous No.8762688]

>>8761205
So.... When someone memorizes pi to 70,000 FREAKING places do they x-ray him first?

Isn't it way more likely that he swallowed (or whatever) a device that vibrates 3 1 4 1 5 9 ........ times? Like a tiny micro-controller, battery, cell phone vibrator?

70 thousand ?!?!

[Anonymous No.8762890]

>>8762688
>put vibrating motor in my ass to help cheat at breaking pi recitation record
>sit down in chair ready to begin
>motor jams against prostate
>the vibrations start
>ohohoo fug!
>cum in my pants in front of everyone part way through

[Anonymous No.8762917]

>>8762688

>record to recite an irrational for as many decimal places as possible

Only an asian country would value something so stupid and worthless as an indicator of intelligence.

[Anonymous No.8762928]

>>8761781
Is it one of those colleges where you're assessed based on the class' performance rather than your own? Completely justified desu. They would be fucking him out of his grades.

[Anonymous No.8762929]

>>8762646
this
and a good test would resist any notes the student brings. if a test can be solved by bring some notes, then the prof is a retard.

[Anonymous No.8762964]

>>8762498
>wasting your time and not taking challenging classes

[Anonymous No.8762990]

>>8762964
>Freshman year
>Can't take courses without prerequisites

[Anonymous No.8762999]

>>8761205
>History class in high school, year 11
>Write a few notes on inside of hand before a test, notice during test that at least 3 other people have all done the same thing to varying extents (one on his arm even).
>Get through test, think I'm in the clear and don't bother cleaning hands
>Having lunch with friends when a teacher comes over and asks to see my hands
>turns out a bitch who had it in for me (as in, we absolutely loathed each other) had dobbed me and only me in.

Got suspended for a few days and autofailed that test. Thankfully it didnt prevent me from passing and I ended up nicking one of her books during a class and burning it in retaliation. I got a lot of satisfaction from hearing that she had been crying over the disappearance of that book.

[Anonymous No.8763006]

>>8762688
>put remotely controlled vibrator in ass to cheat on pi-digit-reciting-contest
Gooks are most amusing

[Anonymous No.8763072]

>>8762999
>Having to cheat on a history exam

Holy shit, brainlet.

[Anonymous No.8763084]

>>8761745
Me too calc 1,2,3,4, i wasnts allowd to use a calc in any of those classes

[Anonymous No.8763088]

>>8761762
The inspire is god tier its basically like maple in your pocket

[Anonymous No.8763101]

>>8763072
Not him, but history exams in high school often require arbitrarily remembering a bunch of exact dates of historical events.
High school honestly made me hate history. It was 90% memorising useless factoids, rather than actual analysis.

[Anonymous No.8763106]

>>8763088
In Australia we use it in final year high school maths subjects.

[Anonymous No.8763127]

>>8762517
maybe if by math you mean the garbage they teach us in HS. In post-secondary it's hard to put cheat notes in when you're asked to prove statements you've never seen before.

[Anonymous No.8763143]

how difficult is it to just memorize the shit you're supposed to remember

[Anonymous No.8763146]

>Be me 17 years old in first year
>In first year Discrete Mathematics class
>Class is in Canada
>More Chinas in class than Canadians
>See Chinas cheating on induction homework assignment
>Act friendly towards them and get their names, add them on Facebook and shit.
>Forward their names to professor saying they copied their homework assignment
>Prof is hardcore Korean and next class reads their names off a list
>She's seriously angry
>They all come to the front of the class and she asks them to demonstrate the solution to the 3 hardest problems from the assignment
>None of them are able to do it
>Prof tells them they get zero on the assignment (Only like 5% but whatever) and if it happens again she'll make sure they're expelled due to academic dishonesty
>One of the Chinas starts crying
>I nearly ejaculate at this glorious academic justice taking place before my very eyes
>best moment of my undergraduate career

[Anonymous No.8763154]

>>8763146
Holy fuck you're a disgusting snitch.

[Anonymous No.8763167]

>>8761429
I'd say the real brainlet is the one who needs to memorize the book by heart.

[Anonymous No.8763170]

>>8763154
t.brainlet

[Anonymous No.8763185]

>>8763146
fucking disgusting snitch. You must be racist too.

[Anonymous No.8763194]

>>8763154
You can view it that way, but I think I did a good thing.

[Anonymous No.8763199]

>>8763185
Well if I hadn't turned them in, they'd get credit for a course they haven't earned. They're not my equals, so I crushed them for pretending they were. Am I racist? Maybe. I don't really care how I'm labelled by others though. If teaching a group of nationals that the cheating that is so rampant in their country doesn't fly in Canada makes me racist, I'll bite that bullet.

[Anonymous No.8763217]

>>8763199

[Anonymous No.8763237]

>>8763199
Ignore that other cunt, anon. You did the right thing.

[Anonymous No.8763240]

>>8763217
A person who recognizes that using principles like "No Snitching" derived from a culture of high school dropouts known as gangsters is a bad idea?

[Anonymous No.8763241]

Chinese students.

[Anonymous No.8763251]

>>8762999
>Thankfully it didnt prevent me from passing and I ended up nicking one of her books during a class and burning it
yeah, thankfully!

fuckin retard, you.

[Anonymous No.8763252]

>>8763241
?

[Anonymous No.8763256]

>>8763154
>t. Chi Ting Chang

[Anonymous No.8763269]

I'm in CS and people generally don't cheat during exams because they know the consequences (no, not some disciplinary bullshit, you simply get thrown out of uni period).
But one time I had a computer engineering lab that was insanely hard (for us CS babbies), and lots of people basically asked their desk neighbor for help or copied what they did.
But the TAs didn't consider it cheating because it wasn't really forbidden to talk to others as long as we do the actual work ourself

[Anonymous No.8763291]

>>8763154

t. China

[Anonymous No.8763319]

>TAing gen chem 1 exam
>prof is there too since it's a somewhat large class (130)
>Guy asks to go to the bathroom about 8 minutes into test
>Prof lets him go for some reason
>About 40 seconds after the guy leaves the room, the prof peeks out the door and immediately, without having to step out of the doorway, drags the guy back in by his collar.
>guy's phone is in his hands

Fucking moron didn't even actually go to the bathroom and hide in a stall and look at his phone. He stood RIGHT outside the door hahahahahahaha

[Anonymous No.8763326]

OP from the grad school general here. You can read about the cheaters that are going to btfo this week >>8761011

[Anonymous No.8763329]

>>8763319
>asking to go to the bathroom
>professor granting permission

What kind of kiddie college is this? Normally you just put your test on the prof's desk, tell him/her you'll be right back, and then grab your test when you come back in.

[Anonymous No.8763365]

>>8763269
Collaboration is usually fine in ECE labs I've taken. It's not okay to copy code or anything but if you really can't figure out how to do something then of course you'll ask the people around you. Sometimes it's completely obscure shit like a set of input pins with dual functionality, in which case one group gets it from the TA and then the info gets passed around.

[Anonymous No.8763380]

>>8763154
>>8763185
chink samefag detected

[Anonymous No.8763381]

>>8763154
>>8763185
Hahaha chink detected

[Anonymous No.8763385]

>>8763381
stop acting like me, now they'll think we're samefags

[Anonymous No.8763388]

>>8763380
>>8763381
>>8763385
samefag

[Anonymous No.8763402]

>>8763388
>>8763185
>>8763154
samefag and chink yet again

[Anonymous No.8763406]

>>8762603
>they want tests with more questions but they don't care about how crazy easy it is to just >right click> Google Search For. Zero monitoring software at all, it's all in browser.
I had a multiple choice test in economy on the computer once. They told us to use this "secure exam browser" that was specifically made and dumbed down to only allow us to take the test. But they didn't actually check whether we used it. So I just opened the exam in Firefox instead (private browsing -> literally the same level of security as that other browser).
However, I didn't get to Google answers because the time limit was pretty tight. 80 questions in 60 minutes, and I'm a brainlet so it takes me a while to read questions and think about them

[Anonymous No.8763451]

>>8763385
too late dude

[Anonymous No.8763494]

>>8763101
If you can't memorize dates you're a brainlet

[Anonymous No.8763497]

>>8763146
If that was the best moment of your academic career, you must be a pretty pathetic student

[Anonymous No.8763499]

>>8763240
Snitching faggot

[Anonymous No.8763502]

>>8761205
>during abitur, some days ago
>grill asks me what I wrote on the second task
>(ARE YOU FUCKING SERIOUS)
>answer her when the teacher is distracted

I've never cheated myself because I didnt want to risk getting 0 points and anyone who did is a fucking retard

[Anonymous No.8763566]

>>8761439
Kek

[Anonymous No.8763609]

In my uni some use mini headphones to cheat.

A dude in the bathroom reads all the question titles and when they need him to read that question they cough.
When hes done he starts with the titles again until done.

I think its pretty fucking dumb, but I have to give some credit, theres people graduating in medicine who dont know anything about anything.

[Anonymous No.8763633]

>>8763185
Fuck you sjw

[Anonymous No.8763690]

>>8761797
Did this all the time in HS. Pretty much every other student at the top of the class cheated on every test and assignment in every way possible. The lazy ass teachers almost always used tests which could be found easily online and used the same ones as previous years. Teachers wouldn't even notice when people had phones out or had coonversations during a test that were audible from across the room. There were coordinated efforts in some classes to go into teachers' offices with stolen school keys and take pictures of the midterm. It was always hilarious when the teacher would use different tests for different periods and some dumb fuck would always put down the answers from the other test without even reading the test in front of him and fail.

[Anonymous No.8764015]

>>8761429
You're retarded. You didn't cheat and you're lying about your teacher saying you did.

You just didn't do the exam. If your prof asks you to re-prove something you don't just cite the book, you re-prove it.

If you're unable to discern what you're allowed to cite and what you should prove, you're probably just a brainlet.

[Anonymous No.8764031]

>>8761781
>tfw the other students were too stupid to hide their cheating from classmates

They're extra brainlet for that one.

[Anonymous No.8764044]

>>8762485
>complaining about an easy class being easy

Why didn't you just take PDEs if you're so smart? Then non-brainlets skipped regular DEs in my department.

[Anonymous No.8764045]

>randomly hear Sal Khan say, "ATP is synthesized as a result..."
kek'd

[Anonymous No.8764047]

>>8764044
Meant to quote >>8762498

[Anonymous No.8764159]

>>8763101
>rather than actual analysis.
History graduates have trouble with that and you want HS students to do it?
>inb4 anon thinks the analysis of historical processes is what they do in /pol/

[Anonymous No.8764198]

>>8761205
>>8762646
>>8762929

All the people against cheaters don't realize that advancement in the real world requires effective usage of time and energy.

If something's already been written in an open-source rep...why the fuck are you going to duplicate work? The most effective talent is not wasting time on stuff that's already been done.

[Anonymous No.8764246]

>>8764015
You're a fucking idiot with no reading comprehension. He said he did proofs while citing theorems from the book. This implies that he had memorized all of the theorems used in the text, to the extent of knowing how they were numbered, and used these theorems in the proofs for the exams, not that he had memorized the proofs.

[Anonymous No.8764252]

>>8761264
I do that more than I want to, feel ashamed every time, but can't stop since it makes certain exams so much easier.

[Anonymous No.8764537]

>in bio 1
>teacher very vocal about being against cheating
>has 9 TAs all watching huge class like hawks
>be me finish test
>walk out through alternate exit because quicker exit
>see professor with a crying indian guy
>professor looked pretty cross
>remember hearing the word 'please' as i was walking by

[Anonymous No.8764570]

>>8761672
>During my first semester in college, my English teacher gave out an essay that he'd written to use as an example, but wouldn't let any students keep them because he had a student in the past write their name on it and try to turn it in as their own.

You're joking....

[Anonymous No.8764576]

>>8762498
Role-playing faggot...

[Anonymous No.8764587]

>>8762688
>>turns out during the previous exam the entire crew of Indians created a cheating network that involved programmable calculators, and texting each other the answers in the bathroom
>>professor thought several people were acting strange and had an awkward confrontation with a few individuals in the bathroom.
>>8762917

This is academia in the Asain world...

Whites are no better though...

[Anonymous No.8764598]

>>8763146
>>best moment of my undergraduate career

[Anonymous No.8764603]

>getting ID'd by a fingerprinting system
I don't know how people manage to be this stupid. Literally all you have to do is change the variable names and switch around parts/locations of the logic and maybe inflate or deflate additional functions with lines of code so the compiler outputs semi different yet still correct machine code.

You basically learn how to circumvent the fingerprinters in freshman year CS courses when they talk about this stuff, but people still manage to get caught cheating. It's truly amazing.

[Anonymous No.8764608]

>>8762646
That's why a lot of places are leaning toward group projects and letting people use whatever online resources they want as long as they cite and understand semantics now. There's no such thing as cheating in the real world.

[Anonymous No.8764627]

I help a bro out. I remember in HS I always helped those brainlets I felt sympathy for. I helped them cheat but man I caught one guy cheating (where he was trying to get an A). I ratted the shit out of him... you simply don't fucking cheat for higher grades. Only passing grades I can take if you're at least performing well on others. Because really, these brainlets knew they were not uni material second year in hs and just wanted to pass and apply for a job. I knew they did not have to know the derivative's definiton or how to calculated rotational volumes. So I helped these suckers out because I know how it is being in that shit position. They graduated and they are working in shit jobs while I am at uni now.

[Anonymous No.8764648]

>>8762890

[Anonymous No.8764656]

>>8762890
Jesus Christ, how did you think of this?

[Anonymous No.8764772]

>>8763329
>What kind of kiddie college is this? Normally you just put your test on the prof's desk, tell him/her you'll be right back, and then grab your test when you come back in.
?????
Normally you're told to piss yourself then, period. You americans are so lax and ridiculous.

[Anonymous No.8764775]

>>8764772
Obsessed.

[Anonymous No.8764784]

>in sophmore level earth science class
>3 hour long final
>this obnoxious nigerian guy sitting near me keeps bending down like he's sniffing his own farts
>lol wtf
>Stay until time is up checking my answers
>Guy leaves before anyone else with shit eating grin
>leaves a stack of notes under the chair he was sitting in
>the entire class tells the TA

[Anonymous No.8764823]

>>8764198
>All these people against cheaters...
>This is why the concept of cheating only exists in academia, at a private job it'd be entirely acceptable...
Wat?

[Anonymous No.8764849]

>>8761205
For the second semester project in our freshman honors engineering (random crap + MATLAB) class we were supposed to program LEGO mindstorm-like robots to do stuff. Our group took a line follow algorithm from the internet and improved its performance by tuning the parameters. Got a low A on the project, and a B in the class.

I regret it a little (not as much as I regret taking the class), but it's hard to unsee a perfectly good algorithm, so we would've ended up with the same thing anyway.

[Anonymous No.8764852]

>>8764823

It's not cheating to use notes and other's work to fulfill some work thing.

How is it cheating if it helps the business roll out product faster while using code that has probably tried and tested and FAQd by other programmers?

There's no such thing as "cheating" in business. Does the Plumber cheat by using tools to unclog pipes? No because he gets the job fucking done with mechanical assistance.

[Anonymous No.8764856]

>>8764823
Copying is fine in the private sector unless you infringe on someone's copyright or patent. In some fields, notably journalism and the arts, it might hurt your reputation, however.

[Anonymous No.8764911]

>>8764603
you have no idea how many people will get home after fucking around and realize a homework is due so they just ask a friend for it with the intention of changing it, but then all they do is turn it in. Some don't even fucking change the name and student ID in the comment at the top

[Anonymous No.8765056]

>>8763256

[Anonymous No.8765066]

>>8763406
The other retarded thing about custom browsers like that is literally everyone has a smart phone in their pockets these days

[Anonymous No.8765109]

>1st year pharmacy exam
>Closed book, 3 hours long
>Not difficult, just lots of content
>Look up after finishing a page
>See kid next to me pull a piece of small paper out if each of his nostrils
>Covered in notes, boogers and some blood
>Tutor bursts out laughing
>He was watching him the whole time he was removing the paper
>Takes his exam and gives him some tissues for his blood nose

Creative at least.

[Anonymous No.8765112]

>>8761237
Don't professors usually check calculators?

[Anonymous No.8765144]

>>8765109
what the fuck

[Anonymous No.8765149]

>>8762928
No, the class wasn't graded on a curve.

[Anonymous No.8765184]

>>8764852
there is definitely cheating in the private sector

>violating NDAs when you worked at competing company
>using proprietary info when you arent authorized
>copyright infringement

[Anonymous No.8765218]

>>8761378
kek

[Anonymous No.8765267]

>Cheat on math test in second grade because I don't know multiplication table
>Teacher sees me cheating
>"Everyone put down your pencils"
>"Get up anon"
>Stand up, have to walk to front of class
>"Anon was cheating on his test, we don't cheat on tests, cheaters never win anon"
>"Go to the principal's office, anon"
>Start crying
>Teacher's aide takes me to the office
>Principal chews me out
>Principal makes me go back to class and apologize to the class for disrupting it and for cheating
>Haven't cheated on a single test since then
>Fucking hate female teachers with a passion

[Anonymous No.8765272]

>>8761237
One kid in my precalc class had one of these and still failed.

[Anonymous No.8765277]

>>8763154
>>8763185
t. chink

[Anonymous No.8765318]

>>8765267
Your story reminds me of something slightly unrelated

>5th grade
>Drop overstuffed binder on the ground, everything falls out
>have to get to class
>While teacher is teaching I am reorganizing my binder
>"Anon what are you doing? Why aren't you following along on the worksheet?"
"I d-dropped my, everything f-fell o-"
>"You have THREE SECONDS to put that away blah blah blah"
>already have it put away but the fucking dumbass motherfucker keeps running his mouth
>the stupid fuck decides to comment on my binder and bring my organization skills into question in front of the entire class
>I fucking dropped it you cretin, you make us carry these heavy pieces of shit + up to 5 textbooks all day BY HAND and I fucking dropped it and everything spilled out and I was trying to reorganize when your stupid ass interrupted me
>I hope you enjoyed your little fucking power trip bullying the quiet kid that has never done anything wrong though you pathetic fuck
>of course in reality I just sat in silence
>ever since I often fantasize about running into him and BTFO of him about what happened that day

FUCK YOU MR. DAUGHERTY YOU MEATHEAD FUCK

[Anonymous No.8765335]

>>8765318
I've had teachers get pissed all the time, which is completely understandable, but 5th grade and middle school teachers lost their shit for no reason. I had a history/geography teacher in 5th grade that threw a stapler at a kid. He also liked to show documentaries in class and we would write papers on it. I guess one kid told their parent all we did was watched "movies" all day and the parent complained to the school. The teacher got the kid to stand up in class and told everyone it was their fault we didn't get to watch documentaries anymore before he handed us a big packet of work pages. Each day was no talking and a packet of 10 pages. Not a lot now that I look back, but it was a lot at the time.

[Anonymous No.8765337]

>>8762498
if you're so smart why are you in the CS department?

[Anonymous No.8765341]

>>8761205

Posted this on another thread.

>am grad student, take theory class
>other grad student (P) takes class with me
>we're both supposed to be theoreticians
>P is misogynistic to female faculty, generally unprofessional and physically unpleasant (licks lips while being spoken to, etc.)
>always asks me how to do homework, spent upwards of half an hour a week with this idiot explaining basic concepts
>never actually show P homework since I suspect he'll snapshot/copy it or something

>fourth week of class, professor shows up angry
>P copied other student's homework and professor noticed
>noticed because he copied it line by line, using same variables
>they were both reprimanded officially (details unknown)

That other student got his career ruined because he assumed P was just stuck on something and trusted him not to straight up copy him instead of figuring out where he got stuck. Terrible.

[Anonymous No.8765346]

>>8761205
Not necessarily cheating but:
> Me sophomore year highschool
>Teacher is a German piece of autistic shit
>We have student accounts to log into computers
>Computer programming/building class
>Get called on to stay after class
>Teach:"the software for the network was deleted, blah blah your account did it"
>Whatisthis.jpg
>Sent to principals office
>Tell principal crout is full of it
>Believes me because I don't usually cause problems
>Removes me from class, gives me 100% for class.
>Crout mad as fuck, kicks me out of his AP calc class
>100% in that class too
>Pass him everyday and say "fuck you" because principal doesn't believe him when it comes down to me
> He gets cancer the year after I graduate
>Godhashisways.jpg
>sci=b

[Anonymous No.8765351]

>>8765346
It's Kraut not crout you brainlet.

[Anonymous No.8765853]

>>8764015
You are literally retarded

[Anonymous No.8766021]

>>8761205
>be me
>senior year of high school, taking all ap classes but stopped giving a shit because already sent transcripts to colleges
>In spanish lit teacher lets us retake tests as much a possible because he doesn't care about grades, he just wants us to "learn the material"
>Take a test, entire class averages like a 40% on it because class is a joke
>I guess I have an honest look about me, because he likes me and gives me a test with the correct answers so I can learn everything about spanish lit and ace the test next time
>Not going to learn spanish because fuck that, so me and some friends memorize the multiple choice answers the class before
>memorize around 80 questions like, CBDADDCBDADCBAC...
>Miss a few on the exam to show I wasn't cheating
>fail the ap exam a few months later

[Anonymous No.8766226]

>>8765267
>Get caught cheating.
>Cunt english teacher decides to tell my parents and have a meeting with them.
>Procceeds to call me a lazy piece of shit (vago, gandul and huevon were the terms, for those who understand) in front of my parents, who agree because teachers are always to be trusted.
>Continues until I start crying out of shame.

That was almost ten years ago and I got fucking ballistic when she greeted me all friendly and shit in the street.
Made eye contact and kept walking
She is whitout a doubt the person I despise the most in this world

haha i have issues xdd

[Anonymous No.8766269]

>>8765267
>>8766226
They make that big a deal of cheating?

When I was in high school, getting caught cheating just meant you got the lowest possible grade on that test. Nobody really had any ethical considerations about it; cheating was just something students did and teachers watched for, not this whole betrayal thing.

One time, I helped a buddy cheat in math class by letting him copy off me. The teacher found out, and cheerfully decided that since we worked together, we could share the points -- he cut both our grades in half. Very cheeky. It was more humiliating than getting the actual lowest grade.

[Anonymous No.8766469]

>>8766021
you act like a 130 IQ guy and you're probably just 110 or something

[Anonymous No.8766473]

>>8766226
ur indian

[Anonymous No.8766557]

>>8766473
no m8, what made you think im indian

[Anonymous No.8766718]

>>8762603
>online classes that make you use ExamGuard
>they seriously believe we won't use a smartphone or other computer to look up answers
....
>online exams that are "closed book"

[Anonymous No.8766725]

>>8762890

[Anonymous No.8766758]

>>8766469
probably true. although all online tests would indicate 130. I have adhd and I usually act like an 80 though

[Anonymous No.8766761]

>>8763146
This gave me immense pleasure

[Anonymous No.8766776]

>Using a graphical calculator thats a slightly different make and look to everyone else'
>First pass around the invigilator doesn't think its a clever calc and doesn't check to clear its memory
>Put my hand up when they ask and finally they come and have a look at it
>It gets put back on my desk with a confirmation screen asking "Are you sure to want to erase memory"

Not that it mattered that much since I barely used it, but still

[Anonymous No.8767019]

>>8765318
Oh I have a similar one
>be in elementary school
>3rd grade
>first actually graded exam, before that you only got comments but no marks
>teacher hands out graded exams
>except the one where a kid got an F
>shows it around class
>says "and that's how you don't do it"
>kid starts crying
>teacher completely disregards him, continues showing around his mistakes

That actually was the headmaster of my elementary school, she always pulled shit like this.
...
Seriously fuck you, I hope you felt good putting down an 8 year old, I will dance on your grave you fucking cunt.

[Anonymous No.8767024]

>principles of biochem (glycolysis etc in depth for chem majors)
>indian bitch sits with scarf always on the table
>phone under it
>proff comes over and asks whats under it
>top fucking kek

[Anonymous No.8767034]

What is the purpose of closed book exams?

[Anonymous No.8767070]

>be in discrete mathematics class
>professor has his phd from soviet era moscow university, does not fuck around
>black kid in class always asks me questions before every quiz, I help just being friendly
>after a couple weeks, I realize this kid is asking me exactly the questions that will be on the quiz, with a couple extra thrown in so it doesn't look super suspicious

I'm pretty sure this guy was breaking into the professors office to steal the quiz question.

[Anonymous No.8767073]

>>8761205
AHA! I knew I recognised that for loop from somewhere!

[Anonymous No.8767106]

>>8764537

Guess he never made it to medical school; his parents must of been pissed.

[Anonymous No.8767115]

>>8767070
if he was going to do that surely he would look up the answer before hand instead of waiting until right before the quiz to ask somebody in class...?

[Anonymous No.8767128]

>7th grade life science
>kid writes notes on his desk before class
>teacher sees him read off his desk during test
>damn that kid had to of been retarded to cheat on one of her tests
>even a brainlet like me got an A on every single one of her tests

[Anonymous No.8767168]

>organic chem 2 final this week
>worth pretty much 50% of the grade in the class
>depending on what I get on it I can receive anywhere from an A to an F
>cant understand or grasp the entire breadth of reactions and their reagents / outcomes
>really just want to cheat and never take this class again

help

[Anonymous No.8767174]

>>8767115
You overestimate black students

[Anonymous No.8767181]

>7th grade
>math test I didnt study for
>math test has 2 different variants so students are allowed to sit next to each other
>sit next to a kid that always gets an A
>do the same variant as him and use his test as the basis for my own (changing stuff a little)
>get the same maximum grade as the guy I copied from
>teacher asks me where I sat, tell some retarded place where I would of have done the variant I copied
>next test comes
>sit next to the same smart kid but do my own variant this time
>another kid tries to do what I did on the test before
>teacher catches him and gives him a 0
>his parents are called to school

pic related, my face

[Anonymous No.8767193]

All foreign fuckers tries to cheat.

>fatcat smelly indian tries to copy my exam anwsers
>notice
>hide my exam paper from him
>fatcat leaves the exam quick time

>indian/paki guys have an assigment
>copy pastes all content from internet directly
>turnitin shows 90% plagiarism or so
>no penalty becouse professors are scared to be labeled as racist. Instead they punish us real people for minor mistakes to compensate

[Anonymous No.8767360]

Not a STEMfag but

>In bullshit easy operations management class final
>Room with ~50 dual monitor computers, prof is monitoring us
>Notice the guy next to me reduces the test's window size
>Pulls up Google in a new window, same size, hides it under the test's window
>The Google window's bottom is extending 1cm from the test's window
>Gets close to finishing when he loses track of the prof walking around the room
>See a finger quickly thrust over my shoulder and in a deep, booming voice "MIND EXPLAINING WHAT THAT IS?"
>Dude spergs out and tries to close it but keeps missing the X button
>"CLOSING IT NOW WON'T DO YOU ANY GOOD, I'VE ALREADY CAUGHT YOU"
>"LOG OFF THIS INSTANT AND LEAVE. YOU FAIL. WAIT FOR MY EMAIL SO YOU KNOW WHEN TO SEE THE DEAN"
>Dude storms out of the class and shouts "FUCK"
>Hear him bang the wall outside a few times
>Test average was like 88%

[Anonymous No.8767437]

>in HS
>these two rich white kids always cheated on every test and homework assigbment
>somehow always managed to get copies of the test ahead of time in almost every class, still have no idea how they did it.
>like the person in >>8767070 they always asked questions before every test that ended up being word for word what was on the test
>literally every teacher knew they cheated and even joked about it
>always sat next to me because most classes were seated in alphabetical order
>constantly cheated off of my tests even when they had the answers memorized ahead of time
>always asked each other for answers they forgot when the teacher wasn't paying attention
>would always wait for me to turn in test so I couldn't put down wrong answers and change it later
>always pissed me off by telling me which questions I got wrong when I came back from turning in the test
The worst part was they were pretty much the top of the class and the teachers thought they were smart even though they knew about the cheating. At least I beat the fuckers and ended up the validictorian but both of them made it into top universities because of their grades, even with ACT scores in the low 30's

[Anonymous No.8767460]

>>8762498
I did that for a 400 level evolutionary Biology course. Didn't study much the night before, got drunk.. So hungover before the first one that I vomited in the bathroom. Still got a 96.

[Anonymous No.8767462]

>>8767360
kek

[Anonymous No.8767742]

>>8767437
>still have no idea how they did it.
>rich
>white

there's your answer

[Anonymous No.8767811]

>>8767360
lmao

[Anonymous No.8767817]

>>8761205

>proctor exams
>see student cheating
>dont care at all because i'm not autistic

[Anonymous No.8767822]

>>8767817
kill yourself

[Anonymous No.8767823]

>be in calc 2
> be in computer classroom with big ass desktops blocking the student and proff
> dumb kid wolfram alpha's on phone every question on exam/quiz, getting even retardedly complex integrals/series and get 100% on every exam
> smartst kid in class got Bs
> come final, proff moves it into big lecture hall, nowhere to hide phone
>puts it into jacket sleeve
>falls out 20 mins in with wolfram alpha up in mid of loading the full solution to super complex integral
>gets kucked

[Anonymous No.8767890]

>senior year of high school
>last chemistry exam
>already know the answers, teacher took the same exam in other class
>write an exam with the correct answers the day before
>exam day
>swap the exams while the teacher was distracted
>didn't get caught
>friend at my right slightly leans his head to see my exam
>he got caught cheating

[Anonymous No.8767913]

My Econ professor last year said that they had a policy that only one student could use the bathroom at a time during midterms. One student put his hand up and went to the bathroom, and then a few minutes later another student put his hand up too and said he really had to go, and that he was going to pee his pants, so the professor let him go. Then he said he opened the door to the bathroom and heard them talking about the test answers, but there was nothing he could do about it because he wasn't supposed to be eaves dropping like that or whatever.

Also I know so many people who cheat, using phones in bathrooms, in the test rooms, talking with friends, copying off strangers. All of our midterms and some of our exams are in big lecture halls with only like 3-5 GAs who spend most of the time at the front of the class anyways. As far as projects and things go, there's always at least one plagarism ding per class section.

[Anonymous No.8767914]

>>8765346
Hahahaha
>Pass hime everyday and say "fuck you" because principal doesn't believe him when it comes down to me

Please be true

[Anonymous No.8767916]

>>8766226
ur Spanish or maybe Argentinian by my guess

[Anonymous No.8767949]

>>8765112
>professors
>actually giving a shit

>>8761205
write on the desk in small writing before the test is given

[Anonymous No.8768042]

>>8767437
>always pissed me off by telling me which questions I got wrong when I came back from turning in the test

[Anonymous No.8768297]

>>8764849
i definitely know that feel. I took a software engineering class this term where each student uploaded their code to a class GitHub repository. I wasn't sure how to start so I looked up that one guy who's been coding since middle school just to get a feel for it. I then realized that writing it any other way than how he did it would be objectively worse, and ended up basically rewriting his entire project.

[Anonymous No.8768321]

>>8767019
>computer science class
>it's the professor's first time teaching
>obviously talented, but an asshole
>always talks patronizingly about normies who don't understand software
>first assignment requires a language nobody has used before
>class average less than 50%, only 10 people out of hundreds completed it
>during the next lecture he pulls up incorrect assignments on the projector to see what people did wrong
>literally just makes fun of people's mistakes for an hour and a half

I didn't care because my assignment grade was curved to full credit, but I sure felt bad for the kids who had to sit there while the whole class laughed at their code. Fuck that professor.

[Anonymous No.8768397]

>high school algorithms class
>final year (ausfag) so it counts for university entry
>teacher leaves classroom during tests
>whole class always immediatly starts arguing over the meaning of a question, or the best way to do something

>mid year exam
>exam is supposed to be 60 minutes long
>1 kid asks if we can have reading time
>teacher says yes
>I ask if I can get started straight away since I've already read everything
>teacher says we can write during reading time
>we now have 75 minutes to sit the exam

[Anonymous No.8768492]

>>8763006
Nigga that's a Pajeet Currynigger fool.

t. gook

[Anonymous No.8768501]

>>8765184
I don't know if I'd call that cheating. That's more like illegal disclosure of secrets. Because if the company itself willingly handed disclosed secrets over to another company with no intention to help their other competitors, that company wouldn't be in any trouble and neither would the other company they helped.
Likewise the other company wouldn't be in trouble if they legitimately stumbled upon the other companies secrets if the other company didn't take adequate measures to protect those seecrets. (They'd only be in trouble if they aggressively pursued them and hacked their way in or similar)

[Anonymous No.8768524]

>>8762646
Why learn anything at all then? Why even go to university? Just make your own company and look up whatever you need whenever you need it

[Anonymous No.8768537]

>>8763329
>
What kind of kiddie college is this? Normally you just put your test on the prof's desk, tell him/her you'll be right back, and then grab your test when you come back in.
Yeah, because it's so hard to memorize a few questions, right?

[Anonymous No.8768544]

>>8765337
Where else should I be?

[Anonymous No.8768555]

>>8764823
>>This is why the concept of cheating only exists in academia, at a private job it'd be entirely acceptable...
if you cheat you don't know anything. the point of getting a degree is to prove you know things.

[Anonymous No.8768560]

>>8765109

[Anonymous No.8768575]

>>8767360
bahahaha

[Anonymous No.8768582]

>>8768321
>>literally just makes fun of people's mistakes for an hour and a half
nah, this is making education great again. you need a little motivation sometimes if you're gonna perform.

i got my ass kicked by a quiz today, so i've been up studying overtime. never gonna let that happen again.

[Anonymous No.8768623]

>>8767437
They must be smart to be able to run that scheme for so long.

[Anonymous No.8768637]

>>8768555
>the point of getting a degree is to prove you know things.
The point of getting a degree is to get a high-paying job in which you are gonna use a tiny part of what you learned in college.

[Anonymous No.8768688]

>>8768623
How? Everyone knew about, it was no secret. He mentioned they were rich. The only reason they didn't get into trouble is probably because their families had connections to the school. It happens all the time.

[Anonymous No.8768717]

>>8763146
>first year Discrete Mathematics class
But isn't it literally the easiest course in math?

[Anonymous No.8768755]

>>8764159
Wow, american education is really inferior man...

[Anonymous No.8768776]

>be my dad
>a college professor
>has this one student
>chinese female
>straight up misses a midterm
>goes up to him crying, asking for a second chance
>he takes pity and gives it to her
>later he gives his class a quiz
the college he works at (the same one i go to) uses a third party website as a way to give out homework, assignments, study guides, things like that
>he looks at the student from before
>she looks at her lap
>back to quiz
>back to lap
>back to quiz
it should also be known that the teachers can look at if and when a student is accessing that website and what on that website they access at any time
>my dad takes out his phone and looks up the student's history
>she was looking at past hws
>so he just watches her go from assignment to assignment on her phone from his
in the end he reported her and she ended up failing his course
my advice, if you are going to cheat, be more inconspicuous than this

[Anonymous No.8768808]

I cheat in math classes by memorizing problem-solving algorithms in my head. It's fool proof, since I write down all the steps to keep track of my cheat algorithm, thereby "showing my work" heh heh heh.

It doesn't work for the tricky word problems, and integration by change of variable can screw it up, but I've never gotten less than 80% with this method.

[Anonymous No.8768827]

>>8768808
>I cheat by learning how to solve the problems
that's not cheating

[Anonymous No.8768855]

>>8768776
your dad is a sneaky snitch

[Anonymous No.8768858]

I unconsciously tilt my head and my eyes fall on other peoples exams. I don't mean to cheat but it can happen by accident

[Anonymous No.8768866]

Holy shit this whole thread is so riddled with insecurities lmao. brainlets? Pathetic. I bet you brag about your IQ to girls who just can't see how much better and nicer you are than other guys. Losers jacking off losers.

[Anonymous No.8768870]

>>8768866
newfag

[Anonymous No.8768879]

Autists and losers (you know it, too. Not even like you can deny it). Honestly hilarious to watch you guys delude yourselves. only reason I'm here. All this shit never happened and you're just foreveralone

[Anonymous No.8769007]

>>8768808
>>8768827
Aye, I have a friend that uses the same method.

It's not really cheating, you just learn *how* to do the problems without necessarily understanding *why* the procedure works. You're fucked the instant you face an unorthodox problem.

[Anonymous No.8769071]

I used to write the answers on the floor below my desk.

[Anonymous No.8769133]

>International relation class
>first lecture prof says its going to be a standardized test
>laugh my way out
>dont ever attend, just read the books of the reading list I'm interested by
>on the exam day just answer the ~80% of the test I can answer with my own culture
>take a look left and right on the people near me for the rest
>90%
Liberal sciences degree is brainlet paradise

[Anonymous No.8769170]

>>8768555
>point of getting a degree is to prove you know things
Fucking no. If it was about proving you know things, everyone would be content with taking online exams and getting certificates or doing projects to prove competence instead of going to school.
Academia is about getting funding for research and networking with alumni for job opportunities. The certificate itself is in no way a guarantee that the person bearing it is at all reasonably knowledgeable about anything at all.
That's why people ask for GPA, letters of Rec, and Prior work in addition to the piece of paper. The piece of paper just gets your foot in the door and let's people know you aren't Joe Schmo.

[Anonymous No.8769289]

>>8768582
>need a little motivation sometimes if you're gonna perform

You clearly don't know how college babbies work. If they think an assignment/exam was unfair they turn on the professor like rabid dogs. I've seen kids literally go to the dean because they didn't like how an assignment was graded.

also,
>getting this btfo over a failed quiz

What are you the fucking Batman? it's not the end of your life.

[Anonymous No.8769300]

>>8768827
>>8769007
he was making a joke

[Anonymous No.8769402]

>>8762917
It gets worse, I heard these two nations had some big competition for who could put a flag on some distant rock first.

[Anonymous No.8769404]

>>8762688
>no one has mentioned a raspi yet

[Anonymous No.8769812]

>>8769289
A kid once brought a gun to my community college because the professor 'gave' him a B.

[Anonymous No.8771124]

>>8761205
In high school my friend had some fucklong essay to do so all he did was staple them together with some blank pages, and then tear them off along with a little bit of the second page to get out of doing it

[Anonymous No.8771312]

>>8765109
yeah man the best way to cheat on a test is to write the formulae on a piece of a paper and shove it up your nose

some nights ive spent all night cramming for a test haha

[Anonymous No.8771426]

>separations class
>kid does the whole thing in pencil, requests a regrade and obviously changed answers
>professor can't do shit, says okay
>next exam, retard does SAME thing
>professor takes photo of every page of this kid's exam
>kid comes in for regrade, did same shit
>professor pulls pictures out smiling, Oh really now?
>gives kid double F in course, recommends he be expelled
>not expelled, but has to retake in a year with same professor

>hate cheating, but love my cousin
>he's in school in Bosnia, overcrowded class, shit teacher that sometimes doesn't even show up, no assigned textbook
>final exam is 100% of grade
>bitch is super strict, "I have 30 years experience catching cheaters"
>kicks two guys out before exam even begins
>kicks two girls out for borrowing/lending pencil
>half the class stands up to leave seeing they can't cheat
>since professor sometimes didn't show up and many students don't show up til exam, she doesn't know that I don't belong there at all
>it's calculus based classical physics
>I fucking ace it, hand it to cousin when she's not looking, just walk out while pretending to put a test on the turn-in pile

[Anonymous No.8771435]

A tall handsome friend of mine once fucked the ugly little Asian TA for test and quiz answers. They got caught and both were expelled and she was fired too.

[Anonymous No.8771489]

>>8771426
Fuck. I wish someone could take the MCAT for me.

[Anonymous No.8771494]

>>8771426
Nice, cheater

[Anonymous No.8771500]

>>8768808
Scum

[Anonymous No.8771518]

>>8771489
In the US? Come on man, all the resources you have at hand you should be able to do it.

>>8771494
Hey man, I would've done it for anybody after I heard her talk. Annoying and self-righteous. As for Separations, that wasn't me, just some retard.

[Anonymous No.8771598]

>be me
>see lots of chinks and pjeets get caught for cheating in dumb ways
>devise perfect plan to ace all tests
>notice that exams are focused on material presented in lecture and the textbook
>compile my own notesheets to cheat with, large stapled packets of all the relevant theorems, proofs, examples from lectures and the text
>supplement this with cheating by reading wikipedia and online resources
>occasionally cheat by watching youtube videos to solidify my memorization of the material relevant to the exam I intend to cheat on
>don't bring anything into the exam except a pen because I've cheated so well that I don't even need my cheat sheet anymore
>ace the test, watch a few shitskins get busted for writing stuff on their hands or dicks or whatever
>even get letters of recommendation because I cheated so well
>get into grad school only via cheating
>cheat this way all through grad school, I'm now so good at cheating that I can read papers on cutting edge research and my cheating allows me to understand them
>write my own paper synthesizing some of the cheating I've done
>cheat on my thesis defense by secretly memorizing everything about the field I've been assigned to study
>eventually made an assistant professor, little do they know I've been cheating all this time
>start teaching a class about information I cheated on, catch several students passing around homeworks and prior exams, btfo those niggers
>notice that several students cheat in the same way I do, even having the audacity to come ask me questions about the material to aid and abet their cheating
>know I shouldn't encourage this behavior, but take a liking to them since they remind me of myself
>encourage them to continue cheating in this manner, even giving them outside resources that are more efficient for cheating
>eventually made full professor, literally cheated on 100% of assignments, exams, papers, thesis defenses, syllabi, presentations since I was a sophomore in college

[Anonymous No.8771605]

>>8761205
In functional programming with haskell i do blowjob to my teacher with autism to pass (plot twist iam boy).

[based god No.8771634]

k so I was in HS Spanish 3 and our final was coming up. Day we got our yearbook. I saw a copy of Mrs. spanish teacher's final on her desk. i took the final and put it in my yearbook. i told her i was gonna go shit. i took pics of the entire final. i returned and put it on her desk. Test was multiple choice. took it to my hispanic grandmother. told her it was test review. she helped me answer all problems. THIS IS WHERE IT GETS CRAZY. I was a freshman and was well-versed with cheating so the upper classmen told me to figure out a plan so we could all pass. I said ok. went outside and made a "thank you" poster of sorts. in spanish it said something along the lines of "thanks for being such a great teacher, mrs. xxxxxx". ok. but I color-coded each letter to represent an answer on the test. e.g. first letter blue meant question #1 was A. e.g. 2nd letter red means question #2 was B, etc... She hangs up the poster in the front of the room. she was in love with our kindness. everybody knows. everybody is looking at the poster for the entirety of the final. class average was like an 87%. funny, she actually is a spanish prof. at my university now and wrote me a letter of rec.

[Anonymous No.8771640]

>>8761205
>second semester of first year life sci calc (the easy calc)
>on subway coming home from midterm
>see girl who was writing in the same room as me
>sleeve rolled up
>mini textbook on her arm

a classic

[Anonymous No.8771983]

>tell students i dont care if they cheat since they cant retake classes they passed and they will fail future courses and be unable to advance
>kids cheat, i dont bust them
>they advance to the next set of classes and flunk out, have no recourse and have to switch majors

like pottery

[Anonymous No.8771994]

>>8771983
>Every professor does this
>tons of 4.0 graduates with no skill
>3.7,3.8 graduates that busted their ass can't get jobs compared to their classmates
>companies, grad schools realize all the 4.0 students from your school suck dick
>will never even dream of hiring the 3.7/3.8 students because if the 4.0s can't do anything why would the worse ones be able to do anything
>university plummets in ranking, you contribute nothing to society, your students are all failures

[Anonymous No.8772010]

>>8765335
loosely related

>9/11/2001
>3rd grade
>no televisions in the classroom, not even a radio
>kid comes late to class saying that he was late because a building was blowing up
>teacher thinks that he means they were watching a movie or there was some construction yard demolition job
>gets suspended for a week for willfully ditching class
>parents ensuing faces when coming to school on 9/12 asking why their kid was suspended

[Anonymous No.8772031]

>>8772010
This is the holiest kek I've ever had

[Anonymous No.8772047]

don't cheat. take a class by itself over the summer if you can't pass it normally. if you fail a course when it's the only thing you're working on, that you've already taken, then lol. you can just brute memorize a lot of shit, likely the course content doesn't change a lot. different shcools have different policies about retaking courses though

[Anonymous No.8772050]

>>8772047

the cost is insanely not worth it. a single course is a fraction of dollars compared to your degree.

[Anonymous No.8772090]

>>8764823

If you're going to greentext at least quote the whole thing instead of truncating it to fit your argument

[Anonymous No.8772121]

>>8766473
>>>8766226
>ur indian
FUCKING KEK!

[Anonymous No.8772129]

>>8761205
Store notes in graphic calculator.
The people that walk around to see if you're gonna cheat were all old Muslim women (i'm a britfag) so I just cheated away. :)

[Anonymous No.8772300]

ITT: role playing

[Anonymous No.8772327]

>>8765109
lmaoooooooo

[Anonymous No.8772390]

Teacher cheating me out of points
trig based physics I
asks us to buy book
quizes us on content we havent done in lab
Answers he gives make no sense
do a lab we needed another lab to understand, didnt do basic one
I'V CAUGHTCHA!!!

[Anonymous No.8772400]

This one's gud: teacher cheats me in2 A
work really hard on two quizes that there was a recommended class for. Didnt take class. Pretty sure i got an A. Teacher says he lost it, gives me high A, gives me credit on two assigments i didnt do;95 & 100.

[Anonymous No.8772412]

>>8764044
>Analysis
>Not studying algebra or geometry

[Anonymous No.8772467]

>>8761672
10/10

[Anonymous No.8772500]

>>8762890

[Anonymous No.8772559]

>>8761205
>formulas on paper is cheating
I'm always a bit bemused when I see people talking about maths exams that don't allow crib sheets. Most of mine provided a special 50+ page miniature reference textbook, to which we were usually allowed to add extensive additional annotations in the margins.

It makes perfect sense to allow such reminders. The exam is supposed to be determining whether you understand the material and are capable of applying it to given problems and formulating clear written responses. Not whether you have an eidetic memory for hundreds of named formulas. Reference material in maths won't save someone who hasn't studied; you still have to know what it means.

Knowing that this would be allowed, I was spared from reciting specific formulas over and over and was left free to focus on developing an intuitive sense of why things worked, how various formulas could be combined with others, getting a good general grasp of how to apply the rules, and so on.

For programming, it maybe makes a bit more sense to have no reference, but even there it would be annoying if you were expected to remember the exact names and parameters for a gazillion standard library functions.

[Anonymous No.8772580]

>in a chemistry class
>all exams are curved because that's how we learn in america
>types down all of the general information and formulas for the test
>riddles the information with errors and print out a bunch
>spreads the papers out in front of the exam room

Next day
>professor is pissed
>spends 10 minutes showing us the papers
>"I'll find out who you are"
>doesnt

Keking

[Anonymous No.8772594]

>>8772580

What?

[Anonymous No.8772667]

>>8763199
I'm proud of you. We got the same problem with Iranians cheating at Ryerson engineering (yes I am a brainlet)

[Anonymous No.8772698]

>>8772580
y'all'd've done the same thing

[Anonymous No.8773254]

>>8761671
You shouldn't need a calculator in math courses.

[Anonymous No.8773470]

>>8769133
This is a board for science and maths, son.

[Anonymous No.8773489]

>>8771598
lmap

[Anonymous No.8773497]

>>8772667
lmao fucking rye-high. all my buddies say the same shit about the persians

[Anonymous No.8773499]

I know a guy at FIU that got the quadratic equation tattooed on his arm.

[Anonymous No.8773568]

>>8773499
But it's so easy lmao. Why didn't he tattoo a complex equation that nobody can remember?

[Anonymous No.8773570]

>>8772580
I'm too brainlet to really get it. Did you falseflag the class into failing?

[Anonymous No.8773698]

>>8771435
feels good

[Anonymous No.8775173]

>>8765335
>The teacher got the kid to stand up in class and told everyone it was their fault we didn't get to watch documentaries anymore before he handed us a big packet of work pages.
lmao, dumb parents crucified him

[Anonymous No.8775219]

>>8765351
Not that guy but is kraut a racial slur or just slang?

[Anonymous No.8775520]

>>8761205
I believe my pop once stole some actual brains to study them directly for some medical exam

[Anonymous No.8775556]

>>8775219
It's a slur against Germans

[Anonymous No.8775562]

>>8775219
Slang, as it refers to the denizens of a country rather than members of a racial group

[Anonymous No.8775570]

>>8765184
It's called reverse engineering you academic cuck.

[Anonymous No.8775672]

>>8765318
>>"You have THREE SECONDS to put that away blah blah blah"

God damn that's fucking hilarious...

[Anonymous No.8775715]

>>8767106
>must of

You'll never make it either.

[Anonymous No.8775740]

>be in school
>have copies of previous exams
>use them as exercises in order to study the material
>go do the test
>professor was stupid enough to reuse the questions
>100% of the class got 100% grade
>motherfucker has the gall to say we cheated

[Anonymous No.8775746]

>>8775740
I don't think that can be considered cheating, especially if you just got the old exams from previous students who had them because he returned them.

[Anonymous No.8775752]

>>8775746
Yeah, that's what I think too. I thought it was normal to be able to practice on the old exams, but everybody acted like it was a super secret crime ring. Everybody in the school administration knew about that shit (I know because I'm friends with them), but they pretend not to know. Almost got punched for mentioning it out loud near a teacher. What the fuck man

[Anonymous No.8775754]

>>8771598
Quality post

[Anonymous No.8775784]

>>8771426
>>half the class stands up to leave seeing they can't cheat
Semi-believable until here

[Anonymous No.8775795]

>>8775784
You're probably right.

But it reminds me when I took the GRE. The proctors told us we couldn't use mechanical pencils, and this guy stood up and left. He said he wouldn't take the test without a mechanical pencil.

Most likely he had some shit hidden in his pencil

[Anonymous No.8775800]

>>8775740
>>8775752
having access to material from the previous time the course was taught is considered cheating, but if professors weren't lazy shitheads it would be a non-issue.

[Anonymous No.8775805]

>>8775800
>having access to material from the previous time the course was taught is considered cheating,

Why? Your school should be posting past exams online for accountability reasons. What are they so afraid of?

[Anonymous No.8775825]

>>8761781
They got what they deserved

[Anonymous No.8775875]

>>8761205
Know a friend who cheated in tge SATs
>stored like 200 common SAT words in GC
>Stored tonnes of maths formulas
>Got like perfect for crit reading and math
Im still pissed

[Anonymous No.8776001]

>>8775875
>store a bunch of 9th grade math formulas that only take up a single line

What's the point?

And a big factor in these standardized test was time. There was no way he would've gotten a perfect score if he had to mess with his calculator for every tiny question.

[Anonymous No.8776067]

>be in freshman chem course
>I think it was over acids, bases, deriving info from titration curves, calculating pH, that stuff
>exam time, sorority girl (delta delta delta) in front of me drinks Coke Zero in one swig just before test begins
>weird but whatever
>start exam
>TA's + professor walking around
>look at periodic table in very front of class
>notice she's just spinning the bottle upright around, looking very closely at it
> there's writing I can't make out
>oh shit, look down so I don't get accused of cheating myself
>professor goes to her desk, asks to see bottle
>"wow, looks like my test magically appeared on the inside of the label. Looks like you enjoyed 2 zeroes today"
>class erupts in laughter
>girl runs out
>professor apologizes, and extends test time for 5 minutes (there's 10 minutes between classes in the hall so no big deal)
>got to finish bonus problem for test because of extension

Thank you based cheating cockslut for using the dumbest trick in the book

[Anonymous No.8776069]

>>8776067
By "it", I mean the exam.
Sorry, I suck at storytelling

[Anonymous No.8776114]

>>8763154
this, hope OP gets his legs broken

[Anonymous No.8776140]

>>8767823
>wolframalpha for calc 2 integrals
pic related

[Anonymous No.8776146]

>>8761664
>posting mfw without posting a piture of your face when

Go back to facebook you fucking faggot

[Anonymous No.8776168]

Ex-prof here

It's actually very difficult to write new questions for exams every time. A completely new 3-hour final exam for a typical undergrad course would take maybe about 16 hours to prepare a first draft for.

If, after that, you want to make sure that the questions are phrased clearly and unambiguously, you have to run them by your TAs (IF you have TAs that are not lazy arrogant turds that don't want to do any of the work you assign them), taking up more time.

When all is said and done, you've put in maybe 36 person-hours into writing the new exam. You LITERALLY are not getting paid to do that. You can get tenure and keep your job, or you can consistently spend that amount of time on exams every term and get fired (or, if you already have tenure, not get promoted).

You are getting paid to do the things you like doing, which is why spent until age 30 in poverty to become a prof. And what you like doing is not composing exams, unless you are bizarre. What you like doing is research, writing research papers, meeting with grad students and maybe teaching in a classroom.

So, for the most part, you reuse old exam questions. You think up all new ones the first year you teach the course, and then every year you think up a handful more and reuse old ones. You don't run the questions past your TAs, because most TAs would be of no value, or negative value. You just put the new question on, and if there's something wrong with it, then you'll find out in the exam and write a correction on the whiteboard. Then you can use the corrected version in some future year.

The exam exists to test whether the students have really understood the material of the course. Memorizing past questions is not understanding the material of the course. So a lot of departments / profs say no, you can't have access to old exams.

tl;dr it's not laziness, it's what you have to do if you want to stay employed and sane.

[Anonymous No.8776204]

>>8776168
you're just excusing your laziness. if the exam is too difficult you can just curve it, if it's too easy, you can make it harder next time around.

the nice thing about longer exams, like finals, is that you have more room to fuck up. if you fuck up one of two questions then you've just made a one question exam. if you fuck up one out of 6 questions then it's not a big deal.

[Anonymous No.8776221]

>>8776204
Easy/difficult has nothing to do with it. It's coming up with questions that are new, fit the material, and don't have some subtle problem in how you phrased it that will have 10% of the class misunderstanding it.

[Anonymous No.8777714]

>>8776168

>It's too time consuming to come up with a new test even though it's my job, and I'm familiar enough with the material to act as an instructor.
>I expect someone else to learn 4 or more subjects at a time to an arbitrary standard I pull out of my ass within 3 and a half months.

[Anonymous No.8778136]

>>8762964
implying there are challenging courses at a state school

[Anonymous No.8778171]

>>8777714
>It's too time consuming to come up with a new test even though it's my job
Coming up with new tests constantly is not part of the professor's job.

All he's expected to do is test somehow

[Anonymous No.8778201]

In one of my c++ classes this chink was using methods far above the level of that class in his assignments which he just copied from the internet.


He used the whole language barrier excuse for why he didn't know that he wasn't supposed to do that and the professor let it slide.


Sometimes I wonder if my programming professors knew when kids just copied code from places like stack overflow but chose to say nothing so they'd end up getting fucked over once they got to someone else's class and/or a job.

[Anonymous No.8778376]

>>8778201
>chose to say nothing so they'd end up getting fucked over once they got to someone else's class and/or a job.
>4.0 students from X University get jobs
>don't know shit because they cheated
>reflects negatively on the abilities of all XU graduates and the instructors as well
>hence jeopardizes their prospects against students from other schools
Hey, at least that one kid got embarrassed by getting a job over his qualification level though huh

Cheating is literally just affirmative action on the individual level. Permitting it and watching people fall behind professionally isn't the sort of cosmic justice you say it is.

[Anonymous No.8778426]

>>8776221
you can literally copy and paste questions from other books. the vast majority of students won't look in any book other than the one that was assigned.

virtually any class that is being taught in universities will have at least a few books applicable to it.

[Anonymous No.8778564]

>>8778171
>Coming up with new tests constantly is not part of the professor's job.
>All he's expected to do is test somehow

By that logic, all a student is required to do is regurgitate what's necessary to pass the test. If they can find an easier way to do it, what's the problem? If you can't be bothered to create alternate tests and cycle them, don't penalize students who exploit your laziness. It's hilarious that the people who preach "academic honesty" are some of the worst offenders.

[Anonymous No.8778586]

>TA'ing a General Biology I course
>exam 2 or 3
>only a couple students left
>professor got tired of waiting for the shitters to finish
>other TA went to catch his bus so he wouldn't have to wait an extra hour for the next one
>grading lab reports to catch up while students finish
>look around occasionally
>later one student turns in their exam
>look up and he's still at the front
>see him on his phone
>taking pictures of the exam giving no fucks
>call out to him and tell him he's not supposed to be doing that
>as if I should even have to tell him
>he's visibly shaking as he deletes the pictures
>tell the professor afterwards what happened and recommend to the student to talk to the professor
>student doesn't get punished
>ends up failing and dropping out of the class anyways

Never asked for help or sent me an e-mail about anything so I don't really feel bad for him desu.

[Anonymous No.8778594]

>>8761237
my uni only allows a few specific calculators

but they still have the ability to store a value in the 6-7 variables

although as far as I can tell, if your number has more than 10 digits, it gets written on exponent form.

So you can store 10 digits + 2 digits of exponent for a total of 12 digits per number, each digit from 0 to 9.

And you can do this 7 times across the variables

I am completely brainfarting now, but this is barely enough bits to store anything meaningful right?

[Anonymous No.8778599]

>>8761205
I don't get snitching on others for cheating if it has no impact on your standing, the shit will catch up to them one day.

My professor told us a story on how a student handed in their test and on top of it left a note saying the person next to them were cheating

[Anonymous No.8778725]

>Highschool physics course
>Teacher says we can only use generic scientific calculators
>This one kid who is also the class clown buys a programmable calculator
>Forward a few months
>We have a test
>10 minutes in, the class clown with the programmable calculator takes it out and starts cheating
>Teacher sees him and asks out loud: "Hey why do you need that calculator for?"
>Whole class bursts out laughing

Turns out the test was completely made up of theory and definitions, no math whatsoever,

[Anonymous No.8778756]

>>8761205
If you can't remember small details just write it on your fingernails.
If you can't fit what you need there you're too far off from the class for it to be worth your time since you probably won't be able to bullshit your knowledge later on anyways.

[Anonymous No.8780767]

I go to UCSD and I can tell you there's entire cohorts: 40-60 people at a time who get busted for cheating. It's especially rampant in CS classes.

[Anonymous No.8780796]

>be writing exam
>bunch of other people also are
>one of them cheats
>gets caught
r8 my story

[Anonymous No.8780801]

[math]
\usepackage{listings}
\lstloadlanguages{[5.2]Mathematica}

\begin{document}

\begin{lstlisting}
Sum[1/n^2, {n, 1, Infinity}] ;
\end{lstlisting}[/math]

[Anonymous No.8780814]

>diff eq class
>chinese prof assigns us every problem at the end of each chapter (literally every problem)
>no real deadline though can hand in anytime during semester
>he puts pile of finished assignments on desk and another pile to hand in assignments
>just grab a few from each pile
>copy mix of solutions from other people
>im smart so I catch others mistakes
>stay up late banging a trashy community college girl I met at work instead of doing homework
>get As anyway
>eventually drop out so my grade and all that knowledge and studying was for fucking nothing

[Anonymous No.8780871]

>>8778594
That's... 39 usable bits per number, right? So you could store 273 bits which would be great if you somehow knew the multiple choice answer scheme and just needed to store it. But to just store general study materials, you would only have 39 ascii characters.

[Anonymous No.8780877]

>multivariable/vector calculus and L.O.D.E course
exams for my computer engineering & computer science department
>get handed the test which is kinda hard
>half of the people leave in the 1 hr mark
>later I sit there furiously solving that shit
>hear a voice calling to me
>I raise my head and the prof is there and he told me to sit up and change the seat
>I do it and everything gets back to normal
baka

[Anonymous No.8780933]

>>8763365
In my current "computer architecture" class, my professor incentives us to share our solutions. I think that's a smart thing, since no one ever gets the optimal answer at first. People that collab usually end with the highest scores in individual tests/projects.

[Anonymous No.8780986]

>>8780871
more or less.

I guess if you needed to remember a particualr sequence of words

[Anonymous No.8781018]

>Junior chem eng student is taking a thermo exam
>Professor notices him pulling out his phone
>Lets him finish the exam (took him the full three hours)
>At the end, professor tells the student that he saw his phone, and will have to make up the exam
>Student makes up exam again, takes three hours for a second time
>Hands the professor the exam, who proceeds to rip it up
>"I've dropped you from the class, never cheat again"
>Was a required class
Guy stayed back a year for that one

[Anonymous No.8781021]

>>8781018
Although the student was an asshole for cheating, the professor's actions there were just vindictive/spiteful.

[Anonymous No.8781166]

>>8762890
goddamnit man
i audibly laughed at this

[Anonymous No.8781177]

>>8762671
like ap physics 1 type of easy?

[Anonymous No.8781208]

>cheat because tests are 90% irrelevant bullshit not applicable in real life
>never get caught because I'm not dumb enough to do it in front of autistic prof
>finish school for the flimsy piece of shit paper it gives me
>that shit paper gets me a good job
>DO my job correctly
>nothing is ever said about my cheating

You academia faggots are the cucks here.

[Anonymous No.8781359]

>>8780877
What?

[Anonymous No.8781405]

>>8781208
>go to rubber stamp university
>get a meme degree you can cheat through
>good job

You sound like a bitter networking administrator.

[Anonymous No.8781535]

>>8771598
you dastardly dan you
I also have cheated this way
it's foolproof

[Anonymous No.8781538]

>>8771634
shit that you see in movies

[Anonymous No.8781560]

>>8767437
>even with ACT scores in the low 30's
That's a comparitively high score to the average national score. You say that like low 30s means that they don't know shit

[Anonymous No.8781601]

>>8781405
>rubber stamp university

They're all like that.

[Anonymous No.8782190]

>>8761237
>>8765112
our HS math and physics teachers always cleared these, some even randomly checked peoples formula/table books

[Anonymous No.8782413]

I helped a friend cheat on his final exam in math and physics in year 12 (I gave him answers so I didn't benefit from it). Am I a degenerate, /sci/?