/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.8307078]

Does your textbook tell jokes?

[Anonymous No.8307084]

>physics
>>>/x/

[1 No.8307092]

I've had a few, none saved though. Some I've collected from others:

[2 No.8307097]

my students love these

[2 No.8307101]

[4 No.8307107]

[Anonymous No.8307108]

>>8307092
>>8307097
>>8307101
Where's the joke

[5 No.8307112]

It seems like textbooks jokes are found in 45% math books, 44% physics books, 10% comp sci, 1% other

[5 No.8307117]

whoops, forgot the pic. A lot of these aren't that funny, just examples of some levity in textbook writing.

[Anonymous No.8307119]

>>8307078
That isn't even a joke. That is just a comment. Yeah, models sometimes do nude performances.

I mean, what is even the joke?

>>8307084
This please. God damn physicists are absolute autists

>XD luk at tis jok me friends it implis NUDITY xDDDDD

[5 No.8307124]

[Anonymous No.8307129]

>>8307078
yeah I hate when they try to be hip like that and then the rest of the text is nonsense

This must be a physics textbook

[Anonymous No.8307133]

>>8307108
most of these haven't been proven yet

[7 No.8307135]

I think this is from a novel, not a textbook but fuck it

[Anonymous No.8307136]

>>8307119
The fuck is your problem? Learn to take a joke autist.

[Anonymous No.8307139]

>>8307135
A series of unfortunate events?

[8 No.8307143]

Again, probably not a book but in the same vein

[Anonymous No.8307146]

>>8307136
But what joke? What is the joke?

Can you deconstruct it? Tell me what is the setup and what is the punchline? Can you then explain why the setup is succesful and punchline funny?

This is really autistic shit man.

>Implied nudity in a normal context is funny LOLOLOL

Please, first graders are supposed to go on /b/

[Anonymous No.8307150]

>>8307146
The author didn't have to mention nude models but he did which is funny. Go away.

[Anonymous No.8307158]

>>8307146
but it's just a offhand chuckle worthy joke? Damn it's not hard to see the humor

[Anonymous No.8307159]

>>8307150
>didn't have to mention nude models but he did which is funny

>mentioning nude models is now comedy

Hmm...

Fuck you have an absolute childish sense of humor holy shit what the fuck. If you are actually over 18, and I know you are not, then please consider suicide. Your brain has been frozen in the state of an 8 year old.

[Anonymous No.8307160]

There's a good one I can't find where it gives the definition of the natural numbers and says they start with 0,1,2,3... (ask your instructor for a complete list).

Also the trees one that gets posted around here a bit

[Anonymous No.8307163]

>>8307159
Either obvious troll or a very, very sad man

[Anonymous No.8307164]

>>8307159
Kys my dude

[Anonymous No.8307167]

>>8307078
>>8307097
>>8307101
>>8307117
>>8307135
>author needs to resort to corny/stale jokes to keep people interested
>>8307143
baller as fuck

[Anonymous No.8307173]

>>8307146
The joke's a little autistic but holy shit your insistence it be diagrammed out is Sonichu level.

>>8307167
In my experience they're mostly useful at calming the nerves of more hesitant students. Especially effective for late highschool/early college when you're trying to get students out of the "I am a student, I am to receive and recite the wisdom of my educators" mindset

[Anonymous No.8307174]

>>8307163
>>8307164

Hey, 8 year olds, take a look at actual comedy:

>>8307143

Now that's a fucking joke. It is a serious book and it is already into the topic, not introducing it, meaning that in the context of the reader (audience) everything being read should be serious but then the author subverts the reader's expectations by introducing a ridiculous situation in a serious context (as it is still talking about a scientist doing work related with the material) that makes for an actual good laugh.

OP, at least people who are over 18 can use your absolute shit thread to share the real good shit.

[Anonymous No.8307177]

[Anonymous No.8307184]

>>8307173
>The joke's a little autistic

A little? Bitch, this autism is beyond this dimension.

The last thing I expected to see when I clicked 'Science & Math' was to see someone laughing at implied nudity.

[Anonymous No.8307188]

>>8307174
Most of the ones I'm posting are from journals or late undergrad/graduate books; it seems to be the most where you get the kind of casual humor (instead of HEY HERE IS A JOKE style stuff).

A lot of it is probably that these weren't contracted out textbooks, the authors wrote them and then shopped out the manuscript.

[Anonymous No.8307194]

You can find awful jokes at http://www.collegehumor.com/post/6991630/funny-puns-textbooks-picture-gallery but I didn't bother to download them when they came up because I hate most of the humor there. Again, it's the casual dryness that I think is desirable.

[Anonymous No.8307197]

>>8307174
Certainly you're shitty jokes about age aren't providing a good example

I don't understand how this got you so riled up, makes me wonder how you act in real life.

[Anonymous No.8307201]

[Anonymous No.8307203]

Again, not a textbook etc etc

[Anonymous No.8307204]

>>8307197
>you're shitty jokes

Oh I'm not playing. There's no playing around here. You are not fucking 18. You are not even 15. We all know it. No one laughs at implied nudity man.

[Anonymous No.8307208]

>>8307194
There's a few involving mammals i had a good chuckle at

[Anonymous No.8307209]

>>8307194
>collegehumor

[Anonymous No.8307217]

I had a professor who was crazy about this author just because of how light so much of his writing is

[Anonymous No.8307221]

>>8307209
Like I said, shitty site that I didn't pull anything off of. Trying to dig these up I came across it again though. I was offering it as an example of "bad" textbook humor, unsurprisingly it's on a bad humor site.

[Anonymous No.8307226]

I had to remove this one after a student killed themself one year unfortunately.

[Anonymous No.8307229]

[Anonymous No.8307230]

>>8307226
>I had to remove this one after a student killed themself one year unfortunately.

What the fuck? Is this /sci/ story time now?

Tell
Tell
Tell

[Anonymous No.8307237]

>>8307226
Creepy breeki

>>8307229
LMAO

[Anonymous No.8307241]

>>8307230
There's not a lot to say. A student committed suicide and it seemed too touch to have a joke about suicide. I think the fallout would have just been being told to be more careful in the future but it wasn't a big deal to take it out anyway. I use enough "seriously, watch what you say" credits each year to want to keep them when I can.

[Anonymous No.8307248]

>>8307229
Holy shit yes

[Anonymous No.8307250]

[Anonymous No.8307255]

[Anonymous No.8307263]

>>8307255
What a fag

[Anonymous No.8307265]

>>8307092
I collect them too

[Anonymous No.8307266]

the price tag.

>even more funny when your professor is credited as one of the major contributors to making the book.

[Anonymous No.8307270]

>>8307265

[Anonymous No.8307273]

Knuth's concrete mathematics did a sort of actually fun thing where they included the notes students left in the margins of the draft textbooks, some helpful and some funny.

[Anonymous No.8307276]

>>8307270

[Anonymous No.8307281]

>>8307276

[Anonymous No.8307283]

>>8307266
>prof writes his own book
>sells it for $200
>releases new edition
>it only has fixed typos

[Anonymous No.8307284]

>>8307265
XD SO RANDOM

To each their own but man I hate that kind of humor in textbooks. Being a little silly can be nice, so many instructors go way overboard and it just ends up falling flat.

[Anonymous No.8307289]

>>8307281

[Anonymous No.8307293]

>>8307289

[Anonymous No.8307295]

>>8307293

[Anonymous No.8307298]

>>8307293
>>8307295
Hehehe! XD

[Anonymous No.8307300]

>>8307295

[Anonymous No.8307303]

[Anonymous No.8307306]

[Anonymous No.8307307]

>>8307295
>tfw I have that same textbook

haw haw haw

[Anonymous No.8307315]

[Anonymous No.8307320]

>>8307078
my classical mechanics textbook features:
>"50 original phisics limericks to lighten things up"
for instance
>"your units are wrong!" cried the teacher
>"your chuch weighs six joules - what a feature!
> and the people inside
> are four hours wide
> and eight gauss away from the precher!"

or:
>As he walked past thate beautiful belle,
>The attraction was easy to tell.
>But despite his persistence,
>He was kept at a distance
>By that darn conservation of L!

[Anonymous No.8307327]

I'm starting to scrape the bottom of the barrel. I can't find the album I had of my really good ones. Ah well

[Anonymous No.8307329]

>>8307204
Believe what you wish I suppose.

But it takes maturity to lighten up and laugh at a silly joke.

[Anonymous No.8307335]

>>8307320
who is that?

[Anonymous No.8307349]

>>8307107
wtf man

[Anonymous No.8307350]

>>8307320
>tfw your QM professor has 2 girls 1 cup bookmarked on his laptop
>tfw he's trying to renormalize the exchange interaction

[Anonymous No.8307367]

>>8307078
Ah, the joys of Pearson University Physics. Did you get us or international?

[Anonymous No.8307372]

>>8307367
I'll say this, of the major textbooks companies I've had to deal with Pearson is the only one that didn't try to fuck me out the gate. Wiley was the coolest in the long term but they have to realize you're not bluffing about your finances and your students' finances first.

[Anonymous No.8307382]

>>8307300

[Anonymous No.8307386]

>>8307382

[Anonymous No.8307401]

>>8307386

[Anonymous No.8307402]

>>8307401

[Anonymous No.8307405]

>>8307401
I think there's a paper that goes with this one

[Anonymous No.8307406]

>>8307382
kekd

[Anonymous No.8307412]

>>8307405
> forgot to post link
https://marine.rutgers.edu/pubsclassics/private/penguins-1.pdfwww

[Anonymous No.8307415]

>>8307412
whoops. drop those w's

[Anonymous No.8307416]

I can't find it right now but I remember reading a paper describing some experiments assessing the metal ion binding activity of bacillus subtilis cells that used a silica column, and the researchers for some reason decided to flush their column with meat broth or something like it. their output variable (ratio of cfu out to cfu in) jumped up to something outrageous like 18 or something and you could sense a dry, mounting horror as the paper described this

[Anonymous No.8307419]

>degenerate nerd humor

None of this shit is even remotely funny. Fuck off.

[Anonymous No.8307422]

>>8307415

[Anonymous No.8307424]

>>8307419
Please go back to your containment board.

>>>/x/

[Anonymous No.8307427]

>>8307422

[Anonymous No.8307435]

>>8307427

[Anonymous No.8307444]

>>8307435

[Anonymous No.8307448]

>>8307444

[Anonymous No.8307451]

>>8307448

[Anonymous No.8307456]

>>8307451

[Anonymous No.8307460]

>>8307456

[Anonymous No.8307463]

>>8307460

[Anonymous No.8307465]

>>8307463

[Anonymous No.8307467]

>>8307465

[Anonymous No.8307470]

>>8307467

[Anonymous No.8307471]

>>8307470

[Anonymous No.8307473]

>>8307471

[Anonymous No.8307474]

>>8307386
There's absolutely nothing funny about this, now please post the solution.

[Anonymous No.8307476]

>>8307473

[Anonymous No.8307478]

>>8307476

[Anonymous No.8307481]

>>8307478

[Anonymous No.8307485]

>>8307481

[Anonymous No.8307486]

>>8307485
last one...might make some OC from Pugh's book

[Anonymous No.8307491]

>>8307474
You don't belong on this board.

[Anonymous No.8307504]

>>8307476
lmfao

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BipvGD-LCjU

[Anonymous No.8307535]

>>8307108
LELLLLL

[Anonymous No.8307645]

I had discreet mathematics with ducks, worst book i ever read

[Anonymous No.8307664]

>>8307129
It looks like university physics by freedman

[Anonymous No.8307700]

>>8307476
kek

[Anonymous No.8307722]

>>8307107
What book is this? I'm interested.

[Anonymous No.8307736]

>>8307722
Applied Probability Models with Optimization Applications by Ross.

I can't speak to how good it is at what it teach or even what it's really about, I'm part of a smuglord community of "overqualified" teachers that passes stuff like this around.

[Anonymous No.8307741]

>>8307139
That was my first thought, but I don't think lemony snicket would use the word "fuck" in a kids book

[Anonymous No.8307743]

>>8307229
top kek

[Anonymous No.8307764]

>ctrl F
>"Levenspiel"
>"Fogler"
>no results
I'm really disappointed in the ChemEs of this board.

[Anonymous No.8307777]

>>8307736

Regardless of your particular situation, everyone could benefit from some stochastic analysis.

[Anonymous No.8307801]

>>8307078
thats not a joke

[Anonymous No.8307805]

>>8307135
imperialfags on suicide watch

[Anonymous No.8307816]

>>8307298
>XD
kys

[Anonymous No.8307825]

>>8307476
>cis

[Anonymous No.8307842]

>>8307281
What is this? How DO you solve it? I've done triple integrals, but I can't imagine integrating that many times

[OP No.8307850]

>>8307097
>prove Riemann's theorem
this is brilliant.
I might do something similar to troll my students

[Anonymous No.8307914]

>>8307112
In comsci text books they tend to be dark humor.

I remember a joke about "foo == bar", the author asked what the statement implied about the relationship between the two, assuming the code compile and runs.

Well they are the same type? Not true, they need only be comparable. Moreover they need only be of types that are implicitly convertible to types which are comparable. Not only that but we are assuming that == has not been overridden. In other words we don't really know anything about anything.

When you read work written by people like spectateswamp this really hits home how dire the programming world is.

[Anonymous No.8307981]

>>8307451
Anon, my knowledge in factoring polynomials is lacking, can you tell me what book this is?

[Anonymous No.8308015]

>>8307471
What textbook is this?

[Anonymous No.8308190]

>>8307327
I have a similar line in my textbook, but it says "the 4 F's: fight, flight, flee, and sex"

[Anonymous No.8308216]

>>8307135
Joule is basic metric unit, and not calorie, and with joules it's not as straightforward
Imperial units also have plenty of rules of thumb

[Anonymous No.8308217]

>>8308190
* fight, flight, feast or have sex

[Anonymous No.8308221]

>>8307124
Do people write limits with a capital L?

[Anonymous No.8308226]

>>8307255
>brackets not balanced
REEEEEEEEEEEEE

[Anonymous No.8308230]

[Anonymous No.8308291]

>>8308216
Joule is the unit in the SI system which is a subset of the metric system (which includes CGS units as well as others).
Calories was one of the two units originally used for energy when the metric system was first introduced (the other one being the erg).

[Anonymous No.8308307]

>>8307107
Literally rape
ban this book

[Anonymous No.8308310]

>>8307842
A quick glance doesn't reveal any exploitable symmetries (though besides the obvious context I don't know anything about the problem being described) so I'd guess you'd just do it. There's nothing special, just start integrating. You'd probably use mathematica to make sure you don't fuck it up.

>>8307850
Depending on the age of your students (though not that much) I usually offer Goldbach's Conjecture, slightly rewarded to make it a little google resistant, on my first quiz of the year. I get some laughs and the students that really take to the idea usually learn some interesting things before I explain to them it's still unproven,which in turn usually stimulates interest. I seriously highly recommend it.

[Anonymous No.8308313]

>>8308221
It seems like it's old enough to have been done on a typewriter, back in those days notation was also a lot less homogenized.

It's also engineering, which is a heathen-tier field and therefore aberrations are expected since they're still corrupted by Original Sin

>>8308226
Standard in the field. Otherwise things get unnecessarily huge.

[Anonymous No.8308326]

>>8307146
Jokes don't necessarily have a setup and a punchline. Those are just the classic jokes. One can joke by being ironic or facetious and no set-up or punchline is required, just context.

Likewise here, in the context that you're reading a serious book, the fact that the author sort of breaks this seriousness and shows a little of his own personality in an otherwise formal text is unexpected, and being caught off guard is one of the key elements of a joke.

As for the joke itself, the author makes a remark on the more vulgar aspects of a commonly thought of as 'good' job. Aspects that were in the past considered unacceptable and then suddenly became acceptable but we still sort of willfully ignore. For example, many famous models will no longer do nude shoots, but have done them in the past in order to climb the ladder, and often don't want to talk about this fact or try to sweep this fact under the rug. Others will do nude shoots in the name of "art", denying that there is anything very sexual to the pictures, and if you think that they ARE sexual, then you must be the pervert. They're shifting the emotional burden to the observer in a fit of cognitive dissonance.

tl;dr: it's a mildly funny joke you fucking autist

[Anonymous No.8308347]

>>8307078
unfortunately

[Anonymous No.8308353]

>>8307097
> you will never complete your textbook 100% because of autistic jokes like that

[Anonymous No.8308374]

>>8308221
There's a distinction between Lim and lim.
I forget exactly what it is, but I remember it from one of my college classes. I think complex analysis.

[Anonymous No.8308377]

>>8307174
>underage shitter gets fanny flustered
>more news at 8
You know, trying to act "grown up" and repeatedly calling other people out as being an 8 year-old only shows how fucking immature you are.

PROTIP: You're a fucking underage retard. Stop browsing 4chan immediately.

[Anonymous No.8308383]

>>8308374
I have two semesters of complex under my belt and work with them in the context of my research and I've never encountered that, nor did google turn anything up. Can you try to figure out more? I'm not saying you're wrong, it might be an uncommon notation convention and I'm honestly curious to know more.

[Anonymous No.8308393]

>>8308347
please stop

[Anonymous No.8308397]

>>8307084
haha thats the 39042489th time i see exactly this post it just keeps getting funnier

[Anonymous No.8308409]

>>8308393
Ido not know if this even counts as a joke

[Anonymous No.8308413]

>>8307146
Holy shit if I ever come to the conclusion that I have become as autistic as you, I will plan a hit on myself

[Anonymous No.8308415]

>>8308409
should I stop maybe

[Anonymous No.8308454]

>>8307229
best one so far

[Anonymous No.8308464]

I wish, I need this text book.

[Anonymous No.8308642]

>>8308383
I was taught a similar thing with the logarithm function. log is the real valued while Log is the complex valued (specifically the main branch), so I can only assume capital Lim denotes a complex valued limit.

[Anonymous No.8308681]

>>8307427
*tips*

[Anonymous No.8309285]

>>8307226
Did this actually happen tho? Never was clear on that...

[Anonymous No.8309593]

anyone ever have this one?

[Anonymous No.8309604]

>>8309593
>AP Edition
You must be at least 18 to post.

[Anonymous No.8309611]

>>8309604

gee, you really got me detective

I forgot that most people are just born 18 and never went to 10th grade

[Anonymous No.8309616]

>>8309611
>gee
>I forgot
You must be at least 18 to post.

[Anonymous No.8309709]

>>8308642
Huh, that's... weird but I see the motivation. I couldn't find much googling about it but it's a hard thing to meaningfully google.

I wonder how common that is.

>>8309285
Me neither. I found an MO article that seemed to suggest otherwise.

[Anonymous No.8309800]

>>8307276
>0.50 kg banana
I have never held a one-pound banana

[Anonymous No.8309812]

>>8309800
*unzips banana*

[Anonymous No.8309844]

>>8307143
>boldly
kek

[Anonymous No.8309852]

>>8307229

[Anonymous No.8310097]

[Anonymous No.8310468]

>>8310097
Minimal spanning doggo

[Anonymous No.8310530]

>>8307335
Morin I believe

[Anonymous No.8311847]

>>8307465
>>8307448
>>8307460
cute

[Anonymous No.8311865]

>>8307177
I was reading that book not too long ago.

[Anonymous No.8311877]

>>8307451
what book is this from?

[Anonymous No.8312028]

>>8307283
Use the old edition then

[Anonymous No.8312094]

>>8307473
Wait is this Giancoli?