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/sci/ - Science & Math

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8033565 No.8033565 [Reply] [Original]

Two atoms were walking across a road when one of them said, "I think I lost an electron!" "Really!" the other replied, "Are you sure?" "Yes, I 'm absolutely certain."

>> No.8033570

A mathematician is stuck in a room with a fire. He has access to a bucket and to water.

He fills the bucket with water and extinguishes the fire.


Another mathematician is stuck in a room with a haystack, matches, a bucket and access to water.
He does nothing because lighting a fire is retarded.

>> No.8033574

Why did the white bear dissolve in water? It was a polar bear.

>> No.8033579

>>8033574
bears don't dissolve in water, silly.

>> No.8033581

If you aren't a part of the solution, you're a part of the percipitate.

>> No.8033585

>"series is a subject that makes engagement difficult for my students."
>"took a week for my wife to say yes."

>> No.8033587

In chemistry, sometimes alcohol is the solution

>> No.8033588

What did the bazooper told to the Zimbabwe. For yoy no charge

>> No.8033590

Why is 6 afraid of 7? Because 7 raped his mother.

>> No.8033608

>>8033565
An infinite number of mathematicians, a polar bear, helium, and a neutrino walk into a bar (ouch). One of the mathematicians then says, "the bar is now empty" and they begin to play hide and seek. The neutrino is then stopped by a police officer. Officer Heisenberg says, "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" The neutrino replies, "I'm positive and a pascal but I don't know where I am." The bar tender then says "You're all idiots, the cows are all black" and pours 10 (in base 2, i mean 10) drinks and there is an extra dollar. The polar bear then dissolves in water while the helium does not react.

>> No.8033612

>>8033587
Mendeleev believed in this

>> No.8033613
File: 1.99 MB, 332x215, mHM3DMk.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8033613

>>8033608

>> No.8033619
File: 91 KB, 350x254, 1356644175429.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8033619

>>8033608

>> No.8033627

One day, a mechanical engineer, electrical engineer, chemical engineer, and computer engineer were driving down the street in the same car when it broke down.
The mechanical engineer said, I think a rod broke.
The chemical engineer said, The way it sputtered at the end, I think it's not getting enough gas.
The electrical engineer said, I think there was a spark and something's wrong with the electrical system.
All three turned to the computer engineer and said, What do you think?
The computer engineer said, I'm calling a tow-truck driver and a friend to pick us up. So the truck had arrived and successfully towed their vehicle away from the street and the engineers were picked up and dropped off at their respective homes.

>> No.8033636
File: 258 KB, 1920x2318, EBRgbdz.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8033636

>> No.8033725
File: 75 KB, 540x625, castle.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8033725

>>8033636
Been looking for this for so long. Top job.

>> No.8033730

>>8033725
not very hard, because I just googled '/sci/ engineer gay jokes' and it was on the first page.

>> No.8033762

>>8033570
The one with the physicist, mathematician and/or statistician is funnier.

>> No.8033799

>>8033730
Engineer gay jokes seem kind of /b tier humour. I got bored of it after reading through that image.

>> No.8034899

Two chemists walk into a bar, the first one says to the bartender "I would like some H20", the second chemists says "I would like some H20 too"
The second chemist dies.

>> No.8034923

Did you hear about the constipated mathematician?
He worked it out with a pencil.

>> No.8035638

>>8034899

That's funny.

>> No.8035728

>>8033565
Why do line integrals around the eastern bloc diverge?
Poles are dense

>> No.8035738

>>8033574
>being this retarded

>> No.8035785
File: 372 KB, 592x486, baby-buffalo-with-parent.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8035785

What did the mother buffalo say to her son?
>how do I evoluve!


jk, she said bye son

>> No.8035804

>>8035785
get it, bison?

>> No.8035831

>>8035785
>>8035804
kek

>> No.8035834
File: 966 KB, 200x150, GCwm6lN.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8035834

>>8033608

>> No.8036075
File: 683 KB, 213x210, 7d734b86141682342690498321_700wa_0.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8036075

>>8033608

>> No.8036226

>>8035785
>Don't joke about me or my son ever again

>> No.8036367

>>8034899
kek

>> No.8036381

>>8033565
What did the momma molecule say to the teenage molecule?

Don't take that acetone with me!

>> No.8036402

>>8033799
t. Engineer

>> No.8036413

>>8034899
>H20

>> No.8036711

>>8033590
Seven is a six offender.

>> No.8036733

>>8033590
Mods

>> No.8036738
File: 190 KB, 800x1745, How creationists view evolutionists.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8036738

>> No.8036993
File: 42 KB, 400x366, edgehog.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
8036993

>>8033590

>> No.8037560

>>8033581
no man, it's just a phase

>> No.8037564

>>8034899
>eych twenty

>> No.8037584

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer walk into a bar.
The bartender says: "Fuck off, you nerds."

>> No.8037592

Since light moves faster than sound, people might appear to be bright until they mention their liberal arts degree

>> No.8037616

A man is rushed into the ER where it is decided that immediate surgery should be done to keep him alive. The surgeon was about to begin when a physicist bursts into the room and says "Stop the operation, the man will be both alive and dead, regardless!"

This is where the surgeon tells the physicist to get out of the sterile area and the nurse kills himself because nursing is for girls