/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.6403038]

Hello there /sci/, some time ago we had a humor thread. I'd like to make one again so show me what you got!

[Anonymous No.6403055]

[Anonymous No.6403111]

The Matrix
Signs
Ball of Fire
Duck Soup
Cross of Iron
The Social Network
Sin City
Heat
Goldeneye
Beauty and the Beast

[Anonymous No.6403138]

>>6403111
Well done!

[Anonymous No.6403337]

>>6403055
shit i had that same textbook in first year
called physics for enginners or something
that basketball one was too easy but i really love that volcano question. im gunna re-do it right now tehe

[Anonymous No.6403812]

>>6403038
>/sci/ humor thread?
/sci/ humor thread.

[Anonymous No.6403816]

[Anonymous No.6403822]

[Anonymous No.6403825]

[Anonymous No.6403831]

[Anonymous No.6403839]

[Anonymous No.6403843]

[Anonymous No.6403927]

>>6403822
But not true, it's likely that some elephants would survive that are present within the earth's atmosphere...as long as they aren't crushed by other elephants or don't fall to their doom when the column collapses.

[Anonymous No.6403938]

[Anonymous No.6403949]

>>6403038
A passage in "Feynman Lectures on Physics vol I"

[Anonymous No.6403954]

[Anonymous No.6403975]

>>6403954
this is fantastic.

[Anonymous No.6403979]

[Anonymous No.6403980]

[Anonymous No.6403983]

[Anonymous No.6403985]

[Anonymous No.6403988]

[Anonymous No.6403989]

[Anonymous No.6403990]

[Anonymous No.6403993]

I got another one of Boston Dynamic's Wildcat.

[Anonymous No.6404182]

[Anonymous No.6404189]

>>6403927
>as long as they aren't crushed by other elephants

which they obviously would be, making your comment totally pointless

[Anonymous No.6404198]

[Anonymous No.6404223]

Stop the madness!

[Anonymous No.6404234]

>>6403812
If I put on weight as I grow old...

[Anonymous No.6404240]

>>6403990
Haha, nachos

[Anonymous No.6404246]

[Anonymous No.6404251]

[Anonymous No.6404265]

>>6404246
The most funny thing about that is that 1 isn't prime

[Anonymous No.6404296]

>>6404265
0/10, poor attempt

[Anonymous No.6404311]

>>6404296
I'm not that guy, but by convention it's not. Allowing 1 totally fucks up the definition and lets you argue ridiculous things.

[Anonymous No.6404335]

>>6404311
>Allowing 1 totally fucks up the definition and lets you argue ridiculous things.

No, allowing 1 changes the definition and stops you making a variety of arguments about primes. Instead you would have to make them about primes excluding 1.

[Anonymous No.6404341]

>>6404335
If one were prime, the Fundamental Theorem of Arithmetic would be false.

That is the primary reason primality is defined to specifically exclude one.

[Anonymous No.6404512]

>>6404341
Sounds like the fundamental theorem of arithmetic is wrong then.

[Anonymous No.6404564]

>>6404335
Precisely. Which means that (the primes not including 1) are a set with interesting properties and (the primes including 1) are not. Which is why we give the former a standard name -- "primes" -- and the latter, not.

[Anonymous No.6404568]

One evening, with his charge at full capacity, Micro Farad decided to get a cute coil to discharge him. He went to the Magnet Bar to pick up a chip called Millie Amp. He caught her out back trying self induction; fortunately, she had not damaged her solenoid. The two took off on his megacycle and rode across the Wheatstone Bridge into a magnetic field, next to a flowing current, to watch the sine waves.

Micro Farad was very much stimulated by Millie's characteristic curve. Being attractive himself, he soon had her field fully excited. He set her on the ground potential, raised his frequency, lowered her resistance, and pulled out his high voltage probe. When he inserted it in parallel, he short-circuited her shunt. Fully excited, Millie cried out, "ohm, ohm, give me mho". As he increased his tube to maximum output, her coil vibrated from the current flow. It did not take long for her shunt to reach maximum heat. Now with the excessive current shortening her shunt, Micro's capacity rapidly discharged – every electron was drained off. But that was not the end of it. Indeed, they fluxed all night, tried various connections and hookings until his bar magnet weakened, and he could no longer generate enough voltage to sustain his collapsing field. With his battery fully discharged, Micro was unable to excite his tickler, so they went home. A few weeks later, they were merged forever and oscillated happily ever after.

[Anonymous No.6404570]

Once upon a time (1/t), pretty little Polly Nomial was strolling across a field of vectors when she came to the edge of a singularly large matrix. Now Polly was convergent and her mother had made it an absolute condition that she must never enter such an array without her brackets on. Polly, however, who had changed her variables that morning and was feeling particularly badly behaved, ignored this condition on the grounds that it was insufficient, and made her way in amongst the complex elements. Rows and columns enveloped her on all sides. Tangents approached her surface. She became tensor and tensor. Suddenly two branches of a hyperbola touched her at a single point. She oscillated violently, lost all sense of direction, and went completely divergent. As she reached a turning point she tripped over a square root that was protruding from the erf, and she plunged headlong down a steep gradient. When she was differentiated once more, she found herself, apparently alone, in a non-Euclidean space. She was being watched, however. That smooth operator, Curly Pi, was lurking inner product. As he numerically analyzed her, his eyes devoured her curvilinear coordinates, and a singular expression crossed his face. Was she still convergent, he wondered. He decided to integrate improperly at once.

[Anonymous No.6404572]

>>6404570
Hearing a common fraction behind her, Polly rotated and saw Curly approaching her with his power series expanding. She could see by his degenerate conic that he was up to no good. "What a symmetric little polynomial you are," he said. "I can see that your angles have lots of secs." "Oh sir," she protested, "keep away from me. I haven't got my brackets on." "Calm yourself, my dear", said our suave operator. "Your fears are purely imaginary." "I, i," she thought. "Perhaps he's homogeneous." "What order are you?" the brute demanded. "Seventeen," replied Polly. "I suppose you've never been operated on?" "Of course not," Polly cried indignantly. "I'm absolutely convergent." "Come, come," said Curly. "Let's go off to a decimal place, and I'll take you to the limit!" "Never!" gasped Polly. "Abscissa!" he swore, using the vilest oath he knew. His patience was gone. Coshing her over the head with a log until she was powerless, Curly removed her discontinuities. He stared at her significant places and began smoothing her points of inflection. Poor Polly. She felt his hand tending to her asymptotic limit. Her convergence would soon be gone forever.

[Anonymous No.6404576]

>>6404572
There was no mercy, for Curly was a heavyside operator. Curly's radius squared itself. Polly's loci quivered. He integrated by parts. He integrated by partial fractions. After he cofactored, he performed Runge-Kutta on her. The complex beast even went all the way around and did a contour integration. Curly went on operating until he satisfied her hypothesis, then he exponentiated and became completely orthogonal. When Polly got home that night her mother noticed that she was no longer piecewise continuous, but had been truncated in several places. As the months went by, Polly's denominator increased monotonically. Finally she went to l'Hospital and generated a small but pathological function which left little surds all over the place and drove Polly to deviation. The moral of the story is, "If you want to keep your expressions convergent, never allow them a single degree of freedom."

[Anonymous No.6404628]

>>6404265
The most funny thing about that is how "most funny" is not a phrase, the correct superlative is "funniest", 0/10

[Anonymous No.6404706]

>>6403839
lul