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/sci/ - Science & Math

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6025339 No.6025339 [Reply] [Original]

Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
Me: I'm an engineer.
Girl: Wow! What do you do?
Me: I solve problems.

>> No.6025349

no, you optimize solutions

>> No.6025388

>>6025349
Fucking lol'd

>> No.6025391
File: 61 KB, 498x720, 1377673940793.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6025391

>Grill: What's your major?
>Me: Physics.
>Grill: ...what's Physics? What do you do?
>Me: It's basically using math to explain and/or do real world things.
>Grill: ...why? I don't get it. Do you like it? What does real life have to do with math?
>try to explain a simple example to her
>her eyes immediately glaze over

From now on I'm telling grills that I'm an Astrophysics major and when they ask why I'm going to say because I like space and shit.

>> No.6025395

Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
Me: Biologist
Girl: cool

some people ask if it's hard, but no one ever asked what does x do.

>> No.6025397

>>6025395
>not calling yourself premed so dumb women immediately think you're a genius

>> No.6025398

>>6025397
Dumb women... just what anon wanted.

>> No.6025400

>>6025397
i'm not a premed. my master's will be medical biochemistry

>> No.6025404

>>6025400
I just assumed because of your trip.

>>6025398
Who are we to judge?

>> No.6025406

>>6025404
This is 4chan, so I am confused by your question...

>> No.6025407

>>6025404
it's just something to differentiate me from another trip on /fit/. i'm not a biologist in a traditional sense of the term (zoology/botanics etc), but i'm not an MD either. it's medical biochemistry/microbiology etc

>> No.6025411

>implying engineering have shit on real science like physics or chem
>implying math isnt ten level above those stupid imperialistic proves

>> No.6025700

>>6025411
>tips fedora

>> No.6025715

>>6025339
>Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
>Me: I'm an engineer.
>Girl: Wow! What do you do?
>Me: Save the world

>> No.6025716

>Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
>Me: I'm a chemical engineer.
>Girl: Wow! You must realy like chemistry!
>Me: No I dont, We almost never work with chemistry, please people, learn what a chemE does.

Is it because it has "chemical" in the name? why don't they do it with other professions?

>Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
>Me: I'm a astrophysicist.
>Girl: Wow! You must realy like ass!

>> No.6025718

>>6025411
engineering isn't science dumbass. It's the application. We make it as simple as we can so people don't die or money isn't wasted. Just keep solving your proofs and deriving equations and I'll use them to make something practical.

>> No.6025725

>>6025411
Not realising that theoretical physicists, experimental physicists and engineers needs eachother huh?

>> No.6025727

>grille: what's your profession
>me:economist
>grille:wow u must be rich!
>have sex

>> No.6025731

>>6025716
Yeah, why do all of these crazy people think that chemical engineering has anything to do with chemistry? Obviously chemistry is totally irrelevant to chemical engineering, just like electricity is irrelevant to electrical engineering. Most electrical engineers go their whole career without engineering a single electron.

>> No.6025735

>>6025731
My school materials engineers play with metals and composites and chemical engineers play with polymers.

>> No.6025791

>>6025339
>Girl: Wow! What do you do?
>Me: I look things up in tables or ask a physicist / programmer.

Fixed that for you bro, don't worry. Happens to the best of us.

>> No.6025796

>>6025725
>Not realising that theoretical physicists, experimental physicists and engineers needs eachother huh?

Physicists doesn't need Engineers.

My project supervisor makes all his own shit including the Solid Edge designs, and takes them to technicians in the Physics building if he wants something made.

Engineers won't do shit. They don't even answer emails once they find out you're doing science and not some commercial money spinning job.

>> No.6025801

>>6025796
Because the LHC was made by physicists.

>> No.6025806

>>6025716
>Me: I'm a astrophysicist.
>Girl: Wow! You must realy like ass!
Welp, you win this thread.

>> No.6025842

>>6025718
ur pathetic. from one engineer to another.

>> No.6025845

>>6025411

>Grill: What do you study?

My two possible answers:
>Me: Neuropsychology/Neuroscience (which is a lie, I study psychology), and then I'd have to explain what that is.

or

>Psychology, and everyone will assume I'm reading Freud.

>> No.6025850

my mom: what do you want to study?
"fisics"
my mom: oh, then you'd be a fisisis
i just niggered you all

>> No.6025891
File: 171 KB, 1600x1600, Grill.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6025891

>Grill: What's your major
>Me: Math
>Grill: Oh...
>Me: Y-you too...

>> No.6025895

Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
Me: I'm a dishwasher.
Girl: Wow! What do you do?
Me: I wash dishes.

>> No.6025928

lol Idk what you faggots are talking about

as an aero engineering student:

>fucking anyone: Anon, what do you do?
>me: I'm studying to be an engineer.
>fucking everyone: Oh so you install satellite dishes and stuff/fix planes?
>me: ...not exactly.

>> No.6025940

>>6025928
>you: I'm studying to be an engineer.
>fucking everyone: how much for blowj
Oh fuck whatever.

>> No.6025952
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6025952

>Hey Fossilbro, you're an archaeologist, right?
No, I'm a paleontologist. I study extinct animals.
>OH HEY HAVE YOU DUG UP ANY DINOSAURS LATELY?
No.
>Oh okay.

I spoke to a Bureau of Land Management archaeologist once...apparently he gets asked about dinosaurs a lot.

>> No.6025959

>>6025796
That's not something wrong about engineers.. You just have shitty luck and meet shitty people:)

>> No.6025964
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6025964

>>6025349

>> No.6025966

>>6025796
who designed the equipment and electronics that physicists use to observe and simulate shit?

>> No.6026527

>>6025391
I just tell them I study quantum mechanics. Which, ya know, is technically true. But being even more truthful and saying I study statistical mechanics kills a conversation as fast as QM starts one.

(granted, the conversation will be painful until you stop talking about QM)

>> No.6026532

>>6025339
>Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
>Me: I'm a philosopher.
>Girl: Lol u will die like Nietzsche naked in the cold snow while chasing some chicks.
Note: Yes, that was a real answer. No. I am not a philosopher, but I didn't want to tell her I'm... a teacher.

>> No.6026538

>>6025801
You've chosen a very subjective argument

>> No.6026542

>Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
>Me: I'm an Accountant.
>Girl: Wow! What do you do?
>Me: I bill people for stupid money doing mundane shit.

>> No.6026543

>mfw my friends see me as a negative person

It's more that I see potential problems in things and have a natural tendency to want to fix them.

>> No.6026553

>>6025339
Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
Me: I'm a petroleum geologist.
Girl: Wow! What do you do?
Me: I make fat stacks.

I then proceed to have sex with her.

>> No.6026596

>>6025339
full autism

>> No.6026734

>>6025339
>Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
>Me: ...........
>Girl: ummm?
>Me: .............
>Girl: I... I think I gotta go

why couldn't I just say engineering

>> No.6026748

Girl:
Me: I make videogames
Girl:
Me: I don't talk to girls.

>> No.6026767

Friend: What's your major?
Me: Mechanical Engineering.
Friend: So... can you fix my car?

>> No.6026775

> engineer
> talking to a girl
Nice try, OP.

>> No.6027210

>>6026748
"Girls don't talk to me" and "I don't talk to girls" aren't the same things.

>> No.6027228

>>6025339
>Grill: anon, what do you study?
>Me: math
>Grill: *disgusted*
not by me, they usually say I'm lucky for liking it

>> No.6027230
File: 1.89 MB, 236x224, what.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6027230

> Girl: What's your profession?
> Me: I'm an animal scientist?
> Girl: You kill animals? How cruel! You dick!
> Girl goes back to eating her bacon.

Wtf?

>> No.6027234

>>6027230
>you bacon!
>she goes back to suck my dick
FTFY

>> No.6027254

>>6025339
>I solve problems.

Every profession solves problems. All other jobs are done by robots.

>> No.6027269

Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
Me: I'm a philosopher.
Girl: Wow! What if my blue is the same as your red?
Me: U cannot know nuthin.

>> No.6027277

Reality:

Girl: What do you do?
Me: I do pure maths.
Girl: Oh, I always hated maths at school.
Me: *Cringe*

Honestly, 9/10 times this is the response I get.

>> No.6027281

>>6026767
EVERY TIME

>> No.6027285
File: 8 KB, 790x632, ur shit never happened.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6027285

>anecdotes from STEM undergrads about things that never happened

>> No.6027290

>>6025339
>I solve problems.

What kind of problems? Your calculus homework problems? Cool story, /b/ro.

>> No.6027291

Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
Me: I'm a studying chemistry.
Girl: Wow! Can you make drugs/bombs/other illicit shit?

>> No.6027292

>>6027230
>failed vet

>> No.6027298

>>6027291
>i'm a studying chemistry

>> No.6027299

Girl: anon, what do you study?
Me: -
Girl: Um, do you want to do anything later?
Me: -
Girl: I like you
Me: -
Girl: let's go to X place
Me: -
Me: [spoiler]I drive

>> No.6027307

Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
Me: I'm physicist master race, the hardest of all sciences.
Girl: Wow! I'm studying biology.
Me: Biology? Hahahahahahahaha! A soft science; you must be so fucking stupid lolololololol

>> No.6027339

Girl: Anon, what do you study?
Me: Business Administration
Girl: Cool
Me: Want to go get a drink?
Girl: Sure!

>> No.6027377

Grill: Anon what are you studying?
Me: Biotechnology
Grill: Wow that sounds hard
Me: It's no picnic, but it saves lives
Grill: Let me play you the sexual moves of my people.

>> No.6027381

>girl: what's your profession?
>me: biomedical scientist
>girl: oh, so you wanted to be a doctor (by which they always mean MD, never PhD)?
>me: what no i like research

every time

>> No.6027396

>>6027299
A reaaaaaal humaaaaaan bean...

>> No.6027404

> Dude: Hey, dude, what do you study?
> Me: Economics. Finance and Banking to be exact.
> Dude: Wow. Can you lend me some cash, then?

Every. Single. Fucking. Time.

>> No.6027412

>>6027404
> Hot chick: Hey, dude, what do you study?
> Me: Economics. Finance and Banking to be exact.
> Hot chick: Wow. Can I suck your dick, then?

Not. A. Single. Fucking. Time.

>> No.6027418

Girl: What do you study?
Me: Eugenics
Girl: What does that mean?
Me: I kill niggers and fuck top tier women
Girl: Can we fuck?
Me: No you have bad genes.

>> No.6027437
File: 1.52 MB, 250x234, 1378108452658.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6027437

>Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
>Me: I'm in grad school studying Astronomy.
>Girl: Oh really, whats my sign?

>> No.6027442

>Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
>Me: I'm an electrical engineer.
>Girl: Wow! What do you do?
>Me: im working on a new 7G phone
>Girl: Wow! i have a vague idea what youre talking about! want to [insert time-wasting event here]?
>Me: no

all the time.

>> No.6027443

>>6026767
>Friend: What's your major?
>Me: Mathematics
>Friend: So.. can you f(x) my car?

>> No.6027454
File: 359 KB, 1067x853, 1205030582381.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6027454

>>6027443

>> No.6027474 [DELETED] 

>>6027443
#<span class="math">f(k) \cdot t[\math][/spoiler]

>> No.6027476

>>6027443
<span class="math">f(k) \cdot t[/spoiler]

>> No.6027477

>Girl: Anon, what do you do?
>Me: I'm an investment banking analyst
>Girl: So where should I invest?

Little do they know I'm just an Excel robot

>> No.6027478

>Girl: What's your major?
>Me: Mathematics
>Girl: Do you guys even work with anything that actually exists?
>Me: I have a natural log in my pants

>> No.6027494

>>6027477
Buy some slowly traded penny stock, suggests people to invest in that, they'll be handing money to you.

>> No.6027524

>Girl: ur profession u look so hot cool tell me bout urself?
>Me: all STEM subj I learn scient so hot and money
>Girl: I stupid and females. poon.
>Me: penis
>we fuck

captcha: perfections typerFr

>> No.6027554

>>6025339
yea, that's just a /b/ post, go there

>> No.6027558

>>6027269
lel

>> No.6027570

>Guys: What do you study anon?
>Me: Maths.
>Guys: Oh, it mus be really hard.
>Me: It's not that hard.
>Guys: I never liked maths in school.
>Me: You probably just had a bad teacher. Most people end up liking maths if they understand them.
>Guys: What's 1286198561061789 times 392571017'5626262615151?
>Me: I don't know.
>Guys: Oh...

Every single fucking time

>> No.6027572

>"Anon, what is your profession?"
>"I work as a magician"
>"Really, so you do magic shows and stuff?"
>"No.. I make dreams come true"

Works everytime! it's much more glamourous than saying that I make coins and shit dissappear.

>> No.6027575

>Girls asking questions about you.

Anon making shit up yet again.

>> No.6027600
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6027600

>Girl: What do you study?
>Me: Math
>Girl: I hate numbers!
>Me: Me too!
>Girl: pic related

>> No.6027606

>>6027600
Rukia is so god damn cute.

>> No.6027624

Grilled: Oe wat u do?
Normal: I studied Financial Business Analysis and International Entrepreneurship relationships with a minor in Microeconomical Financial Derivatives Industry Communications and a concentration in Transnational credit investor Hedge Manging Administration
Grilled: oh woah, wut do dat even mean?
Normal: I wash dishes

That's 99.9% of career-oriented, anti-intellectual quick-scheme chasing frat-douchebag idiots right there, of which 60-70% drop out engineers tend to be (i.e. about 30% of these make it though engineering).

>> No.6027625

Anyone: What's your major?
Me: Mathematics
Anyone: Why?

I don't know ;~;

>> No.6027664
File: 86 KB, 1024x768, image928488.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6027664

Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
Me: HOOAH! HOOOAH! HOOOOAH

>> No.6027667

>>6027404
"Sure, but there's gonna be a 5% interested rate for the next 10 years, and a minimum repay of 125%."

>> No.6027682

>>6025411
Engineers make scientists not useless!

>> No.6027720

Hey /sci/, what do you think about civil engineering?

>> No.6027736

>>6027720
I don't think about civil engineering
It's trash

>> No.6027738

>>6027736
: - (

>> No.6027761
File: 47 KB, 600x480, 17.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6027761

>>6027292
Not failed. Poorfag. Couldn't get tuition loans.

>> No.6027772

>>6025339
What is this "girl" thing you speak of? Post a specs sheet, so I can understand what you're talking about.

>> No.6027792

>>6027277

Similar story:

Me: What do you do?
Girl: I'm a math major. You?
Me: Wow, cool! I'm in physics.
Me: Oh. I always hated physics.

>mfw

>> No.6027864

>>6026767
>what's your major?
>electrical engineering
>oh can you fix my computer/microwave!?

I know that feel, bro.

>> No.6027876

>>6025952
>being a paleontologist
>not studying dinosaurs
You're wasting your life as a paleontologist then

>> No.6027883

>>6027298
>not recognizing an italian by written text

>> No.6027919

>Girl: What's your major?
>Me: Computer science.
>Girl: Computer science is for people TOO STUPID for mathematics and physics.
>Me: ebin :-DDDD

>> No.6027920

>>6026532
Uh... I'm guessing she didn,t realise Nietszche was in poor health, not that philosophy made him insane?

>> No.6027941

>>6027572
Really off topic but if you're actually a mgician and actually say that, look up annarasumanara. It's a korean webcomic that you'll probably like.

>> No.6028228

>>6025395
yeah, but that's because they assume you poke animals all day.

>> No.6028232

Girl: What do you study?
Me: Anthropology.
Girl: I love dinosaurs!
NOPE

>> No.6029393
File: 20 KB, 582x329, 1359595312129.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6029393

Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
Me: I'm a Chemical Engineer Technologist
Girl: Wow! So you must be rich, being in that profession!
Me: ...Yeah...
(I am only a Technologist... not an engineer(For now))

>> No.6029401

>>6027864
What's wrong with asking that though ? The Microwave thing is a product of the telecom. department and many engineers fix the car circuitry.

>> No.6029405

>>6029393
>(I am only a Technologist... not an engineer(For now))
What the fuck is the difference ?

>> No.6029407

>>6026543
You must be so smart

>> No.6029427

>>6029405
I actually have a technician job. I just run machines mindlessly. and even the machines are tame.
The difference is that I have a Diploma, not an actual degree.

>> No.6029425 [DELETED] 

>>6029405
I actually have a technician job. I just run machines mindlessly. and even the machines are tame.

>> No.6029435

Girl: Anon, can you get off the internet
/sci/fag: But, sister I'm pretending I'm sucessful
Girl: Females don't give a fuck about money in reality, so you'll be sitting counting your money alone for the rest of your life.
/sci/fag: I wish I were never born!

>> No.6029437

>>6025796
ÿou musr be really into string theory.

all you need for that is drugs

>> No.6029468

>>6027277
Lyk iff u cri ertem
Boi stops mekin owt wiv girl nd sez girl, wot r u do?
Girl sez...
I m Biologist
Boi sez
Wtf ew gtfo shit tier student i m math
Girl screems
>Hads sexs aniwey

>> No.6029478

ITT: Stories that never happened.

>> No.6029502

>>6029478
Yes, nobody on /sci/ has ever talked to a girl.

Except for me..

I'm an anomaly as I usually don't come to /sci/

>> No.6029511

Girl: What's your major?
Me: Computer engineering.
She then turns into a guy.
Girl: Suck my cock, dude.

>> No.6029558
File: 427 KB, 550x900, 1118682140044.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6029558

>Girl: Where do you work?
>Me: I work at the PC master race
>Girl: Oh cool I'm a software engineer too!, are you a developer or tester?
>Me: I'm a mech E, I work with my hands and make real things

I love being a Mech E in a sea of software "engineers"

>> No.6029560

>>6025339
>
Girl: what is your profession.
Me: come back to my house and I will show you.
Girl: no really what is it you do?
Me: I am the clit commander

>> No.6029574

Girl: Anon, what's your profession?
Me: I'm a doctor.
Girl: Wow, please marry me.
Me: Excuse me, I have a shift to continue.

>> No.6029584

>Grill: What's your major?
>Me: Computer Engineering
>Grill (internally): Oh god it's a computer person.
>Grill: What do you even do?
>Me: I enjoy embedded systems, concurrency, robotics, controllers, the list just goes on
>Grill: Can you help me with hooking up my new hp laptop to the internet
>Me: I know very little about Microsoft products
>Grill: But I thought you were a computer person!!!

>> No.6029590

>>6029584
>Me: I enjoy embedded systems, concurrency, robotics, controllers, the list just goes on
You cannot be this autistic.

>> No.6029594

>>6029590

How would you explain Computer Engineering to a girl?

>It's when you do math and write programs and eat doritos and don't get laid

>> No.6029599

>>6027864

Electrical engineers never have ANY practical skills. You suck balls.

>> No.6029604
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6029604

>Dad: So, what do you want to do again?
>Me: Mechanical Engineering
>Dad: ...What? You want to be a damn mechanic?
>Me: N-no, it's engineering, Dad (explain the difference)
>Dad: Medical school is still better. Medicine will never die out. Your cousin makes 300k+ in ER.
>Dad: Don't let yourself be brainwashed by what people tell you in college.

>> No.6029605

>>6027210
Not necessarily. If "Girls don't talk to me" is true, then "I don't talk to girls is also true", then you could be a faggot that just doesn't talk to girls.

>> No.6029609

>what is your profession

Further proof that /sci/ has no idea how an actual human speaks.

>> No.6029621

>>6029604
Mechanics can actually make some pretty great money.

>> No.6029624

>>6027570
I'm sorry, but you are stupid.
If people always ask you this you can come up with a witty response in advance.

>> No.6029629

>>6025339
You could totally work the entire monologue into a conversation and it would be pretty funny.

>> No.6029655

>>6025895
>I dish washes

>> No.6029657

just read some on chaos, bitches love chaos theory, butterfl

>> No.6029676
File: 63 KB, 600x352, image.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6029676

>>6027298
I don't have a lol reaction pic so here is the closest one I have

>> No.6029857
File: 546 KB, 1000x1000, 1370358814400.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
6029857

>What is your major?
>Diagnostic radiology
>What
Every time.

>> No.6029873

>>6025716

Can you explain what chemical engineers actually do then? Why use the name "chemical" if there is barely any chemistry involved?

>> No.6029880

>>6029594
I wouldn't use words they obviously don't know the meaning of.

And I wouldn't answer the question at all, just say it has to do with computers and that they wouldn't be interested in it. 9 times out of 10, they really don't care. They're just trying to make conversation. For a woman to initiate a conversation, it means she's interested in you, it's your job to keep the conversation going from then on.

>> No.6029894

In the UK people would think you are the guy who comes round to fix their boiler.

>> No.6029906

>>6029894
Engineer has no meaning in the UK
>sanitation engineer

>> No.6030239

>>6029873
historical reasons I guess. chemE used to be mechanical engineers who take a bit of industrial chemistry, but nowadays they just learn about reactions A + B -> C and maybe some S or R. That and distillation columns for benzene-toluene.