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/sci/ - Science & Math

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5773126 No.5773126 [Reply] [Original]

What's wrong with me /sci/

If I lock a gate, I have to check two or three times to make sure it's properly locked. I also do this with my car, I'll put it in park, take the keys out and walk away, only to backtrack and make sure it's still in park, despite the fact that it's impossible for me to have the keys if it's not in park.

My speech is very deliberate, and will often have to think for a few minutes to determine whether or not what I have to say is appropriate.

I have great difficulty speaking in public, and will stammer if asked even a simple question.

Whenever I talk to people, I make a great effort to smile while they're looking. If I'm not smiling they'll ask me what's wrong. And I'm worried if I explain to them why, they'll think I'm especially weird, and will lose my weird friends.

That's all I can think about at the moment. Thank you for your time.

>pic is how I usually feel, unless I'm genuinely happy

>> No.5773129

>>5773126

anxiety and OCD

>> No.5773144
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5773144

>>5773129
Cause by too much internet. We all know that feel OP.

>> No.5773156

>>5773129
This sounds about right.

>>5773144
I've actually had this long before I got an internet connection, that's not to say being on 4chan all the time hasn't accentuated the problem.

I also sometimes have very irrational thoughts: Someone will say something about what I'm thinking. and I'll think everyone ever knows exactly what I'm thinking, I'll have genuine fear despite the fact that I can see how unreasonable it is.
Maybe I have schizophrenia, my sister and uncle had both been diagnosed.

>> No.5773184

sounds like me, except i was diagnosed schitzo and bipolar. whhat you describe only comes for me in cycles, eventually i switch into opposite mode and go wreckles.

the medication is designed to prune and castrate your brain, taking it is tantamount to partial suicide. that wasnt acceptable to me its all or nothing im afraid

>> No.5773190

>>5773126
OCD Op I used to have it too
I'd have to count on my fingers and also repeat the same things multiple times.
This tends to happen when you have alot of things on your mind ( it happens to all of us )
Try talking it out or keep a journal of all the hints your mad at or what your feeling

>> No.5773205

>>5773184
>the medication is designed to prune and castrate your brain
This is one of my biggest fears, and one of the reasons I refuse to see a doctor.
Can you be schizophrenic without common hallucinations? I've had a few, one when I was little I saw a glowing shapeless mass in the middle of my room. I kept trying to wake up my brother, and when he finally did he told me it was just my eyes playing tricks on me. It persisted about an hour until I finally fell asleep.
The other time was brief, where I was sitting with my friends when I heard someone say something, it didn't sound like anyone I've ever heard, and it was very clear. But I don't remember the words.

>> No.5773208

>>5773190
I talk to myself a lot, and will repeat myself until I can get to the next thought.

>> No.5773245

You have OCD and maybe some anxiety issues. Were you always like this or is it a recent change in your behaviour? How old are you?

>> No.5773246

>If I lock a gate, I have to check two or three times to make sure it's properly locked. I also do this with my car, I'll put it in park, take the keys out and walk away, only to backtrack and make sure it's still in park, despite the fact that it's impossible for me to have the keys if it's not in park.
OCD, bro. Classic checking symptoms. Get yourself to a psych and get a scrip for prozac. Shit works wonders on OCD.

Also, next time you're flipping out with anxiety over whether you locked something, try thinking of something that makes you happy, like puppies or lying on the beach or something. Something about visualizing things that makes you happy interrupts whatever feedback loop is making you anxious.

>> No.5773363
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5773363

I wonder if you could be treated similarly as phobia with http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Systematic_desensitization
That stuff works so fast and its so cheap/simple. Although it takes a good amount of techniques to make results last.

>> No.5773390
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5773390

>>5773363
"Joseph Wolpe developed the process of systematic desensitization in the early 1950s. Wolpe studied Ivan Pavlov's work on artificial neuroses and the research done on elimination of children's fears by Watson and Jones. In 1958, Wolpe did a series of experiments on the artificial induction of neurotic disturbance in cats. He found that gradually deconditioning the neurotic animals was the best way to treat them of their neurotic disturbances. Wolpe deconditioned the neurotic cats through different feeding environments. Wolpe knew that this treatment of feeding would not generalize to humans and he instead substituted relaxation as a treatment to relieve the anxiety symptoms.[6]

Wolpe found that if he presented a client with the actual anxiety inducing stimulus, the relaxation techniques did not work. It was difficult to bring all of the objects into his office because not all anxiety inducing stimuli are physical objects, but instead are concepts. Wolpe instead began to have his clients imagine the anxiety inducing stimulus or look at pictures of the anxiety inducing stimulus, much like the process that is done today."

>> No.5773400

>>5773363
One of the existing therapies for OCD basically involves slowly acclimating the person to being exposed to whatever is making them anxious.

For someone who is terrified of germs, it would be something like: place a bag of trash on the ground for a second and remove it, then step on that patch of ground while wearing shoes, then step on another patch of ground, then take a q-tip and touch the second patch of ground for a second, and then have the OCD person touch the q-tip.

Gradually, you work them through the steps until they can touch the bag of trash.

>> No.5773425
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5773425

>>5773400
Thanks for the description. But that is not exactly systematic desensitization. That is flooding and its trendy just because. I've seen systematic desensitization working and its a better.

>> No.5773429

>>5773400
>>5773425...

But it should still be better than meds alone.

>> No.5773454

>>5773245
I'm 19, I was always wierd, even when I was a little kid... it wasn't a problem until I had accidently killed my dog when I was about fifteen.

>> No.5773464

>>5773245
I'm 19, I was always wierd, even when I was a little kid... it wasn't a problem until I had accidently killed my dog when I was about fifteen.

Thanks for the treatment advice guise, but I do like drugs.

>> No.5773474

>>5773464
>accidently killed my dog when I was about fifteen
What?

>> No.5773534

>>5773126
You check the doors because you keep letting them open? If you don't, this is a normal-level OCD, not related to your nervousness and trauma from being bullied in school.

>> No.5773538

>>5773474
I'll you about it later on ITT, I'm really baked atm

>> No.5773550

>>5773534
I never leave doors open, because I always check lol
I was homeschooled but I was bullied a bit, like any other kid my age, but actually have become well liked by pretty much everyone.

>> No.5773589

>>5773550
Go do some acting classes and speech courses and this issues will be gone. Please don't argue! just accept what I said and do it! NOW!!!

>> No.5773623

>>5773589
Wise words.

>> No.5773692

>>5773589
I'm too shy for classes lol

>> No.5773696

>>5773692
You can only improve with interaction, so, you're doomed, man!

>> No.5773747

>>5773696
Start with youtube videos on acting and rehearse on the mirror. Use any necessary social interaction you have to practice, specially at work.

>> No.5773755

>>5773696
>>5773747
Okay, I can't argue wíth this.

>> No.5773763

>>5773755
Good, now start. Do some stickcam or whatever sessions latter if you already practiced with coworkers and still cannot go to classes.

>> No.5773775

OP, I am an overly perceptive person. After just a few minutes of meeting someone I can essentially read their emotions easier than reading a book. I don't even consciously realize it because I've been this way my whole life, I've actually just recently been told I over think things too much (kinda like you) and I accept that I do. But it keeps me from moving on from things that normal people would just ignore. Work on deciphering these feelings and how to judge between continuing a train of thought or not. For example, noticing small changes in the routines of others obviously means something is different. What caused this change can be an easy question to them "What happened? Whyre you late..?". Their response is FILLED with info about the rest of the day, the day before, and of course that difference in their routine.
Idk welcome to a small sector of my mind OP. Everyone has little quirks in them, make the best of it though and stay away from drugs. Apply it to a combination of career and hobby and life will be so much more enjoyable. i enjoy writing essays because I can thoroughly lead a reader through a series of feelings that will illicit a conclusion in their mind. Even writing an essay about something I hate and want to eliminate can be written criticising my point of view so poorly that someone will most likely end up hating and wanting to eliminate whatever I hate and want to eliminate even though I wrote am essay advocating for it.

Shiiieeeeet, back to studying.

>> No.5773778

I'm the same.

I'm diagnosed with some anxiety disorder or something.

>> No.5773779

>>5773775
Also, I went through a phase of thinking I was elder god tier master race elitist and stopped texting and talking to what little true friends and acquaintances I had. Loss of social interaction hurt my communication skills very Much. And just going to school didn't fix anything. I had to immerse myself in scenarios where I had to talk no matter how fucking scared I was (sweaty palms, racing heart, and shaking hands). I'm getting better at forming coherent arguments on the spot that make sense to others and not just myself though. But remember that not everyone gives a shit even if you're right. It's their way or the highway. Don't worry about it haha.

>> No.5773945

>>5773779
>It's their way or the highway.
So true, haha.
I also fell away from friendships and will take the advice. thanks

>> No.5774411

>>5773779
Thank you for sharing that, it is very inspiring. I think I will take your advice sometime.

>> No.5775305

>>5773474
Okay, now I'm sober and awake.

Four years ago (obviously) on a warm summer afternoon, not unlike the one today, I decided that I had wanted to build a fort. I don't really like going outside, but today I felt compelled. Not wanting to do any real labor just yet, I decided that I'd just find my ideal spot and map it out.
I grabbed a note pad and pen, as I left my room, my mom asked me to take the dog for a walk, I took no complaints and agreed.
She was a small black Yorkshire Terrier, no more than a year old, almost a year actually. I'm ashamed to admit that I don't really remember her name. She was very cute, and was like a kid to me.
So I took the dog, went under the fence, down the cow pasture, and into the woods. We wandered around until I found the perfect spot, but that doesn't matter.
As we were leaving the forest, I decided we would have fun, and I'd let go of her leash, so she could have fun with me trying to catch her. I let the neon blue leash drop from my hand, and let her get a few second head start... so I set off to the chase! She got no further than 10 feet out of forest before she stopped to sniff something. I came in close behind her, my clumsy fat ass running at full speed couldn't stop in time, before I felt the crack of her neck under the heel of my shoe. For a moment I couldn't believe what had happened, I fell to my knees, screaming. She was still looking at me, her rear legs were still kicking, like she was being chased.

>> No.5776316

>>5775305
That's heart wrenching. I'm always afraid something like this will be the end of my two dachshunds.

>> No.5777531

I'm no doctor but in my opinion you have an incurable psychiatric disease. There is no know treatment. It's known as normalcy.

If you get stuck in a loop checking if you locked the door or turned off the coffee pot to the point that you can't get to where you want to go, that is obsessive compulsive disorder (O.C.D.) It's not O.C.D. unless it makes you dysfunctional.

The rest of what you say sounds normal to me. If I am wrong and you actually have a problem, then WHY DID YOU GIVE IT TO ME?!

>> No.5777538

>>5777531

If it's not a problem, then it's not OCD. Just like if your psychotic episodes don't keep you from missing work, you're not schizophrenic.

The coal must go out.

>> No.5777563

I just realized, I have the same problem OP.

>> No.5777576

>>5777538
>if your psychotic episodes don't keep you from missing work, you're not schizophrenic.

Occasional double or even triple checking is a little different then loosing touch with reality.

Of course, to a strict behaviorist, the concept of being in touch with reality is not part of psychology, so you have a point.