Since /sci/ is shit right now

[Anonymous No.5543245]

>freshman physics
>professor talking about something: "which requires the chain rule, which you should all be learning in calculus 1 soon if you're taking it this semester"
>several people "we covered that last week"
>odd guy who has 4 erasers, 2 calculators, a compass, protractor, and is always shaking "I did that last semester, I'm studying parametric equations right now"
>prof just looks at him
>everyone laughs
>odd guy "I'M A MATH MAJOR DAMNIT"
>prof shakes his head
>guy storms out of class
>forgets an eraser

I'm betting he posts on /sci/ ... anyway, general somewhat /sci/-related thread

[Anonymous No.5543254]

>>5543245
> counting all of his possessions
> call him odd

[Anonymous No.5543256]

>Since /sci/ is shit
>contributing shit
Spectacular performance, OP.

[Anonymous No.5543258]

>>5543256
np

[Anonymous No.5543264]

>>5543254
>not taking notice of numerical patterns and quantitative data in everyday life

Liberal arts mundane detected

[Anonymous No.5543278]

Hijacking. This thread is now about funny shit our professors do.

>Going over some concept and the prof. uses his thermos as an example.
>The cap wont unscrew and jams.
>Remarks. "this is a prime example of when you let a liberal arts major design something"
>no one even cracks a smile except me.
>Dat look of son i am disappoint

[Anonymous No.5543280]

>Hating on that one ridiculously old dude in class

wtf? They're usually like the best people to talk to and who are seeking a second or third degree.

>All dat life experience/stories.
>All dat gigantic lifetime networking you could tap into to get a job for yourself.

[Anonymous No.5543291]

>that feel when no friends at school

;_;

[Anonymous No.5543302]

>in phys
>prof: i not that good at drawing but dats a car

has there ever been a physics prof who can draw? isnt it assumed that they are horrible at drawing cars/baseballs/anvils ect?

[Anonymous No.5543309]

>>5543291
join a club ffs

fuck im a member of the pokemon club and the baptist student union and i may be a loser but im having the time of my life

[Anonymous No.5543312]

>someone sneezes in huge biochem lecture
>no one says god bless you
I wish I could bottle this feel

[Anonymous No.5543318]

>>5543302
this is true

>in art class in HS
>now im not that good at drawing
>her face when

[Anonymous No.5543324]

>>5543309
>baptist student union

[Anonymous No.5543341]

>tfw I carry two calculators, a ruler, a 180 protractor, a compass, a compass (with directions), a circle template, a red flashlight, graph paper, a bag of assorted color sharpies, and a big bag of assorted dry erase markers

I'm an astronomy major though

[Anonymous No.5543365]

>>5543264

I wish I had the balls to respond this way with a straight face in real life.

[Anonymous No.5543387]

>>5543312
for me it's

>someone sneezes in huge lecture
>two people say god bless you loud enough for everyone to hear

it echoes the distraction of the sneeze;
only it's more obnoxious because you had to bring the social game into it

the social game:
>I'M A DECENT HUMAN BEING BECAUSE I BLESSED A GUY

>THANK GOODNESS THAT GUY BLESSED HIM WHAT A DECENT HUMAN BEING

>HAHA I BLESSED THAT GUY OBNOXIOUSLY
>LOL GOOD ONE BRO

>FUCK DID HE REALLY HAVE TO BLESS THAT GUY
>SHOULD ANYONE BE BLESSING ANYONE PAST MANDATORY EDUCATION?

>HOLY FUCK STUDENTS IM TRYING TO TALK NOBODY CARES ABOUT NATURAL, ROUTINE, INVOLUNTARY SPASMS

>HOLY FUCK STUDENTS I'M SO PROUD YOU STILL BLESS EACHOTHER

[Anonymous No.5543425]

>>5543324
>yfw 4chan is the only place on earth where someone would laugh at Baptist Union Club over Pokemon Club

[Anonymous No.5543437]

>introductory history course
>reviewing for final exam
>prof. is telling us the essay questions
>that one weird unattractive girl sitting in the front constantly asking dumb questions

Why is every History class like this?

[Anonymous No.5543441]

>>5543341

How does one get to be an astronomy major? You mean astrophysics?

[Anonymous No.5543469]

>>5543312
>>5543387
Anyone else deliberately ignore when people say "bless you" so they think "wow that guy was a jerk, see if I ever say bloess you to anyone else ever again" so the phrase is slowly removed from use?

Anyone?

[Anonymous No.5543480]

>>5543469

No, if somebody is rude to you, being rude back accomplishes nothing. Nigga, do you even Karma?

[Anonymous No.5543495]

as if.

more like:
>freshman physics
>professor talking about something: "which requires the chain rule, which you should all be learning in calculus 1 soon if you're taking it this semester"
>several plebs "we covered that last week"
>odd guy who has 4 erasers, 2 calculators, a compass, protractor, and has a phD in mathematics "I did that when i was a babby, I'm writing a research paper right now on the riemann hypothesis. I've almost found the solution"
>prof looks at him, bulge visibly growing
>odd guy "I'm a math major and proud, plebs."
>prof offers him any grade he wants
>guy storms out of class to advance humanity even further and unlock the mysteries of the cosmos with a notepad
>mfw

[Anonymous No.5543500]

>>5543495
my oblique biological horizons guffawed

[Anonymous No.5543506]

>>5543495
more like:

>freshman physics
>professor talking about something: "which requires the chain rule, which you should all be learning in calculus 1 soon if you're taking it this semester"
>several plebs "we covered that last week"
>odd guy who has 4 erasers, 2 calculators, a compass, protractor, and has a beard down to his nipples "Math is for idiots everyone is mean and nobody does anything productive because they're all jerks"
>prof looks at him, rolling his eyes
>odd guy "My name is Grigori Perelman"
>prof drops his pants right there
>guy storms out of class to write a blog post about how the math community has become 58% more gay since proving the Poincare conjecture
>mfw

[Anonymous No.5543521]

>>5543309
>baptist student union

[Anonymous No.5543609]

do people really study parametric equations in what i assume is calculus 2 or 3?

i'm a college dropout but i remember doing those in trigonometry in high school

[Anonymous No.5543612]

>>5543609

le smart guy xD

[Anonymous No.5543617]

>>5543609
You did, but they're covered more extensively with vectors and calculus in multivariable (calc III) calculus.

[Anonymous No.5543625]

>>5543617
This, you also integrate them. It's still fairly babby and straightforward though.

If it were a linear algebra class and you were talking about how linear algebra is covered in highschool, then it'd be an entirely different story.

[Anonymous No.5543630]

>>5543612
i'm not claiming to be smart at all ... i admitted to dropping out of college afterall

[Anonymous No.5543634]

>>5543617
Not even trolling, but I did that stuff in junior/senior year of high school, in America. I was incredibly confused when we redid it all in Calc 3 in college whereas everyone else in my class had never encountered them before.

[Anonymous No.5543637]

>>5543425

QFT

[Anonymous No.5543641]

>>5543609

The thing about calculus is that it is basically algebra with two new tricks and a lot of trig thrown in, or in other words babby math. This is why I go into a neckbeard rage whenever people argue about which calculus book is better etc etc. I would have liked to punch OP's friend in the throat.

[Anonymous No.5543644]

>>5543641
Then do some analysis and quit reading freshman blogs.

[Anonymous No.5543683]

>>5543425

how about every online community ever not directly aligned with christianity

[Anonymous No.5543696]

>>5543641
While this is true, some textbooks just babby their way through it and cover it only by example. Other books write rigorous proofs and assign them in the problem sets, and yet other books cover it only conceptually.

The second two are probably the most useful to any math major, understanding the concept and being able to prove it. Though there's naturally expected to be some debate over the best balance on any subject.

The same can be said of geometry. Because it's such an easy course people like to use it as an intro to proofs course. This creates a duality where some texts cover it purely conceptually and others cover it purely proof based. Again there's bound to be debate, but at that level it's so babby tier that almost no one really cares. Still, I think it's bad that most students who've taken geometry can't biject a line, can't biject an angle, can't construct an equilateral triangle around a given center (or any constructable polygon), can't construct fields of constructable numbers, etc..

[Anonymous No.5543721]

>>5543469

I actually turn around, raise my eyebrows as a cryptic sort of "fuck you", and turn back.

That way they sit there analyzing a possible insult for however long it takes them to get over it, losing precious lecture time while they regain focus.

[Anonymous No.5543751]

>>5543506
>my name is grigori perelman
>prof drops his pants right there
>throws millenium prize on the floor
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>worst birthday ever

[Anonymous No.5543771]

>>5543245
wait you dont do chain rule in highschool???

vdu udv

[Anonymous No.5543775]

>>5543625 >If it were a linear algebra class and you were talking about how linear algebra is covered in highschool, then it'd be an entirely different story.

I did matrices and vectors in highschool, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

[Anonymous No.5543778]

>>5543721
>autism detected

[Anonymous No.5543786]

>>5543775
That's exactly what I mean. You did matrices and vectors, but you didn't do Eigen vectors, kernels, non-euclidean n spaces, etc..

[Anonymous No.5543825]

>>5543721
>there are actually people who are this self-absorbed

[Anonymous No.5543828]

>>5543437
>2013
>Not studying via correspondence
>mfw

[Anonymous No.5543830]

>last semester
>not 1-2 years ago
Pleb

[Anonymous No.5543845]

>>5543469
Me, although I ignore a lot of things people say because people are annoying as fuck

[Anonymous No.5543847]

>>5543771
americans general? lmao

[Anonymous No.5543854]

>>5543264
>he thinks science is about counting things

You must be an engineering student.

[Anonymous No.5543855]

>>5543854
>he thinks science is anything but analyzing gathered data
you must be a stem autist

[Anonymous No.5543863]

>>5543855
Counting things and analyzing your counting are two distinct activities. Checkmate.

[Anonymous No.5543869]

>>5543863
Can you prove that in a court of law? Chekm8

[Anonymous No.5543868]

>>5543775
>matrices and vectors are linear algebra

[Anonymous No.5543872]

>>5543302
Professor Armitage by any chance? If you're even still here anyway.

[Anonymous No.5543878]

>>5543302
>ect

[Anonymous No.5543889]

>in an electronics class
>kid comes in everyday with a rolly bag with all his stuff.
>clearly has assburgers and autism
>he sits in his chair and starts twisting in it (the chair swivels)
>the chair makes this creaking noise every time the chair swivels
>the kid starts to stare of into the distance and smile
>the professor starts to talk about how nobody on the test got a certain question right.
>the kid blurts out that he got it right. so sure of his thought process.
>you can really hear the assburgers and austim in his voice.
>the professor repeats that nobody got it right.
>kid interrupts the teacher again and tries to explain why he's right still twisting and smiling
>the professor knows he'd get shit if he tells this assburger autismal fuck to shut the fuck up, so he just sighs and asks him to stop twisting.
>"I CAHNT I GOTS THE ADHD!"
>professor just closes his eyes trying to figure out why he has to deal with this shit.
>he continues like nothing happened
>kid still twisting and smiling and staring off into the distance
>he's a bio major

everybody's face when he talks or makes too much noise.

[Anonymous No.5543891]

>>5543302
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=l789l6np-qA

[Anonymous No.5543913]

>stats class for engineering and CS students.
>prof talking about how on a previous midterm he made an extra question asking if you had a tattoo or not.
>compares his findings with another prof who taught stats for arts majors
>arts majors have way more tats then engineer/cs.
>kid blurts out, "those tattoos will sure look good working behind the counter at mcdonalds"
>im the only one who lost my shit
>went home and downloaded the lecture recording

[Anonymous No.5543931]

>>5543264
Pretty much this.

>Road tripping out to a fishing comp
>Driving along with 3 friends in my car
>Leaving the city, pass three cars
>Remark that 'All of those cars had prime numbers, in the numeric part of there number plates. 997, 47 and 131.'
>Get blank looks, no one cares
>Catch the biggest snapper, win a $500 surf casting rod. Pretty happy.

[Anonymous No.5543947]

>>5543872
Please?

[Anonymous No.5543953]

>>5543913
But that's an embarrassing story for you?

[Anonymous No.5543955]

>>5543953
Hell no, prof laughed, I laughed everyone else should be embarrassed for either not speaking English and getting the joke or thinking they should respect arts major's choice.

[Anonymous No.5543963]

>>5543721
>tfw I go to one of the friendliest universities in the country.

[Anonymous No.5543968]

>>5543955
Don't worry, you'll grow out of it.

[Anonymous No.5543969]

>>5543955
so you actually think it was riveting comedy because you are elite compared to them :DD that's autism

[Anonymous No.5544084]

>>5544081
it should be the internets?

[Anonymous No.5544081]

>english class
>prof says: Please move to a computer that has the Internet
>mfw when no one corrects her

[Anonymous No.5544144]

>>5543245
Hey, that was me

[Anonymous No.5544163]

We have some asspergers persian dude in my biology classes. He always gets questions wrong and last year he used to interrupt lectures with the most basic of questions.
Last year:
>Lecture on circulatory system
>Lecturer explaining how the diaphragm and skeletal muscles pump facilitate venous blood flow
>Persian dude interrupts lecture saying he doesn't understand but makes no sense
>Everyone's used to his shit, people start to chuckle
>Ends up getting out of his seat to where the lecturer is talking (in a 300+ person lecture)
>Lecturer politely tries to explain the concept
>'Oh I already know that'
>Lecturer facepalms
>All the students burst out laughing at him
>Lecturer laughs at him
>Persian dude obviously thinks he's some alpha comedian and sits down proud of himself
>Waltzes in late to every lecture with a shit eating grin on his face for the rest of the year

He's made everyone scared of ever answering questions in lectures now, everyone thinks they're going to be socially executed if they do.

Pic related: it's how everyone reacts when he pipes up.

[Anonymous No.5544186]

>>5544081
Noun with ownership properties?

[Anonymous No.5544336]

>>5544186
a computer cant have internet, it can only have internet access (access to internet). i think that's what he meant

[Anonymous No.5544399]

>>5544081

what is 'Common usage'? Alex.

[Anonymous No.5544465]

I really dont know if this qualifies, but there is a paraplegic in my Social Deviance class (GEP, nothing to do with my major) and he is a total ass, in ways that being disabled does not forgive. I dont honestly know his real name, so I just use puns to make fun of his wheelchair.
For example:

>talking about disparity in the punishments for crack as compared to normal cocaine (same punishment for literally 100 times less crack)
>Prof asks what social pressures may have caused this
>'Wheels' just starts talking without any provocation: "Well, cocaine is usually used and abused by the upper class, while crack is for black people"
>...
>About half the class is black, including two dudes from our university's defensive line
>Goddamnit Wheels
>Prof lets class out 5 min early because the lesson is totally derailed by offended black people.

>I feel like shit one day
>Go talk to the prof about whether I can get a sick day without a note
>He asks how bad it is, and I give him a rundown of my symptoms (fever, vomiting, etc)
> Captain carriage, sitting a good 30ft away in the back of the class, angles his head up as if to lob his statement, and looks directly at me.
>"Why dont you just deal with it?"
>Prof and I both look at him for a solid five seconds before looking back at each other
>Get the day off

Other amazing quotes from good ol' Excitebike
>"women should just know their place"
>"ooooooh yes", in response to prof asking if we had seen some celebrity sex tape or something.

[Anonymous No.5544471]

>>5544465
Sounds like the average /sci/ poster.

[Anonymous No.5544483]

>>5544465
whats worse is he is one of those guys, you know which ones, but just to cement our empathetic link:

>Prof asks a question
>That guy jumps to the rescue to answer
>Seems to answer a totally different question, and the prof is bewildered as to how to respond; the statement they made isnt false, but it is so far afield that there isnt really time to correct them.
>Despite this, they always answer questions.

[Anonymous No.5544494]

>>5543324
>>5543521

>making fun of student baptist union membership
>not making fun of pokemon club membership

I bet you would give him a standing ovation if he was in a MLP club

[Anonymous No.5544500]

>>5544494
at least pokemon club is interest based. Im not sure why, but the idea of religion based clubs always puts a sour taste in my mouth.

[Anonymous No.5544537]

>>5544500
I'd rather read some fiction than play card battles with mutated coconuts for creatures while wearing a fedora

[Anonymous No.5544542]

>>5543469
is this strictly a "bless you" thing? Do you have a policy on gesundheit?

[Anonymous No.5544550]

>>5543775
>I did matrices and vectors in highschool, I don't know what the fuck you're talking about.

You should definitely get that printed on a t-shirt, just so people know who they're dealing with.

[Anonymous No.5544556]

>>5543889
>austim

Texas?

[Anonymous No.5544572]

>>5543968
>>5543969
i'm sensing assblastedness

[Anonymous No.5544575]

>>5543425
What about Pokemon Club? I'm sure they wouldn't laugh.

[Anonymous No.5544578]

I used to browse /sci/ about two years ago, and it was much faster than this. Has there been a decline or is it just the time of day?

[Anonymous No.5544580]

>>5544578
/sci/ lost 33.34% of its userbase in late 2011 / early 2012.

[Anonymous No.5544596]

>>5544580
are you kiddings me

[Anonymous No.5544604]

>>5544580
Who has time to browse /sci/ when you're raking in 300k

[Anonymous No.5544607]

>>5544604
where else do you get to look at ek's tits

[Anonymous No.5544610]

>>5544596
Shitposting and trolling rapidly increased in 2011. Josef and other good contributors left /sci/ and the quality further deteriorated. Now it's trolls trolling trolls and the same repetitive shitposting all day erryday.

[Anonymous No.5544622]

>>5544607
Snap. Glimpsed that thread the other day but didn't have time to check it out.

I'm sure they'll /somehow/ turn up again.

[Anonymous No.5544629]

>>5544580
is that equal to 1/3?

[Anonymous No.5544661]

>>5544578
>>5544580
>>5544596

[Anonymous No.5544670]

>>5544661
Fuck happened in 11/11?

[Anonymous No.5544671]

>>5544670
Huge DDOS attack. 4chan was down for nearly a week.

[Anonymous No.5544675]

>>5544661
so there was a downtime or a spam flood or what?

[Anonymous No.5544679]

>>5544675
>>5544671
oh ok

[Inurdaes !FwKWcSlloY No.5544684]

>>5544661
>was banned for a year October 10th

[Anonymous No.5544760]

>>5543387

[Anonymous No.5544789]

>>5544336
thats exactly what i said.

[Anonymous No.5544801]

>>5544465
He's looking for someone to rip into him. He knows all too well people are afraid to say something to him because of his permanent seated position.

Once you've made him cry, he'll never be the same fucktard towards you again.
He'll probably suck your dick, perfect height and everything

[Anonymous No.5544807]

>>5543278
>This thread is now about funny shit our professors do.
Agreed.

>Start of 1st semester
>Linear Algebra
>at one point, prof remarks :"The shortest joke in mathematics is 'take ε<0'"
>a few awkward smiles and chuckles thinly distributed throughout the room
>follows it up with: "Those of you that didn't laugh won't be here in a few weeks"
>mfw he was right

[Anonymous No.5544840]

>>5543245
>>5543245

Parametric equations and chain rule at uni? what the fuck kind of a shithole do you live in, i did that shit last year and im in my 2nd year of 6th form.

[Anonymous No.5544853]

>>5544542
Gesundheit seems fine, since as I understand it, it means "to your health" or something similar. If it translated to "May our Lord and Savior Jesus Christ bestow blessings upon thee" I'd probably ignore it.

[Anonymous No.5544875]

>>5544465
>Goddamnit Wheels

[Anonymous No.5544887]

>>5544853
uhhh, but "bless you" just means "may you be marked with and made holy by blood"