/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.5485860]

Anyone else have kid science moments? (pic related)
>be 5
>think that milk tastes pretty shit
>figure I'd improve its taste vastly by adding something tasty
>add some pepsi into milk
>how didn't anyone else think of this shit
>try it out
>nope.jpg

>wonder why wait for 40 minutes at 100 celsius for a meal to finish instead of going turbo and wait for 10 mins at 400
>is there no end to my genius
>end up with charcoal cookies

[Anonymous No.5485878]

>be 8
>watching tv
>mom calls for diner
>think the show will pause when i turn the tv off
>back from diner
>disappointment

[Anonymous No.5485880]

Someone in high school had the idea that if the ice cream maker instructions advise that smaller ice chunks are better (more surface area), then the snow from outside should be awesome. Nope, got goopy shit cream.

[Anonymous No.5485888]

pic of OP

[Anonymous No.5485894]

>be 4
>whenever I look outside during the day I see the sun
>therefore the sun is following me during the day
Also
>ask my cousin to play some football outside
>no it's sunny
>so go a few steps back away from me
>is it better now?
>yeah, it kinda is
>belief reinforced
I regret nothing.

[Anonymous No.5485902]

>>5485894
thats cute somehow

[Anonymous No.5485905]

>>5485894
The theory of extreme-egocentrism and Sun movement.

[Anonymous No.5485935]

>Playing around with a ping pong ball on the carpet floor (what the fuck, kid.)
>Press hard on it with my index finger
>It shoots off from under it
>Travels for some 30 centimeters
>Then magically returns.
>WOW WHOA I AM A WIZARD

I seriously thought it was fucking magic or some shit.

[Anonymous No.5485954]

>>5485860
But pop + milk is good.
Its like a float after the Ice cream has melted.

[Anonymous No.5485962]

fuck you op milk and pepsi tastes awesome

[Anonymous No.5486030]

>>5485905
I also refused to acknowledge that I don't know everything until I was 6 even though my main activity was bothering people with "what's x" and "what does x mean"

[Anonymous No.5486054]

>>5485935
I had this EXACT experience with small checkers pieces. Intrigued the fuck out of my 6-year-old brain.

[Anonymous No.5486057]

>>5485860
>trying to bake cookies without parent's permission
>only want to bake 5 cookies so add 1/4 of every ingredient
>want them fast so bake at 500 degrees instead
>i had a bowl of cereal instead after my spanking

[Anonymous No.5486060]

you one day just wake up as an adult

[Anonymous No.5486067]

>>5485894

I used to believe the moon followed me

Fucking moon

[Anonymous No.5486069]

>friends used to pop closed potato chip bags by crumpling up one side
>couldn't figure out why it never opened on the same side you crumpled
>notice the bag bulges when you crumple it
>realize that it always pops open on the side with the bulge

[Anonymous No.5486087]

>>5486069
wow

[Anonymous No.5486142]

>ride in car
>see landscape zooming by
>assumed that cars move space around itself
This went on until I saw other cars going the same speed and attempted to leave our car in the hopes of walking to another car

[Anonymous No.5486401]

>>5486142
>You have discovered relativism

[Anonymous No.5486409]

I used to think that in order for a letter to make a hard sound you had to capitalize it. sO I alwAys wrOt lIk this whIl I was in kindergarten

[Anonymous No.5486412]

When I was a kid with no regard for how fucking stupid some actions can be, I stared at the sun from time to time.

Did you know that if you stare at the sun long enough the center of it will turn blue just like the sky with rays of light around it? Pretty fucking cool although it most certainly fucked up my vision a little bit.

[Anonymous No.5486454]

>>5486142
I find the leaps of logic a child's mind is capable of utterly fascinating.

[Anonymous No.5486460]

>be 5 or 6
>watching tv, unknow show.
>invisible paint developed by a scientific
>intellectual insight! thought the formula to create it in real life
> run to bedroom with ingredients.
at this moment bedroom was my lab
> follow the formula. white paint + water.
water is transparent, therefore, adding white paint i'll create invisible paint.
>get white paint
>don't understand what i'm doing wrong and i do it one more time
>white paint
>wut

[Anonymous No.5486462]

>be 10
>begin to get picked on for good grades from some tough irl dyel faggots.
>realize that this couldn't have been the only path that could happen
>think there's another me (at the time; in the world) who's experiencing praise and maybe friendships from these kids
>brush my shoulders off and not care about them because there's another me out there getting the better end of this world and i politely take the suffering

[Anonymous No.5486464]

>>5485860
What, I think cola+milk is alright

its weird but it tastes alright

[Anonymous No.5486475]

>At grandma's house
>She is always complaining about struggling to pay the electricity bills so she's ask me to cut back on T.V.
>I just stood next to the T.V. repretidly pressing the on/off button
>Felt genius for using half as much electricity on T.V.
>Got yelled at because it makes the T.V. work twice as hard

[Anonymous No.5486481]

>>5485860

I had the same experience, OP, except it was milk with coke and I think it tasted good. Oh,and I had it when I was a sophomore in college.

[Anonymous No.5486488]

>>5485878
slight variation, my siblings and i used to think the trick was to unplug the tv

[Anonymous No.5486489]

>>5486462
>>5486460
>>5486412
>>5486409
>>5485935
HAHAHAHAH so cute

[Anonymous No.5486499]

>>5486454
consider reading the essay/autobiographical story 'such, such were the joys' by george orwell/eric arthur blair.

[Anonymous No.5486500]

>>5486462
what a boss

[Anonymous No.5486540]

>>5486460
Similar experience.
>See the Newton disc experiment in school
>The rainbow colors became fuzzed and eventually white somehow
>At home try to mix all plastiline colors to make pure white plastiline "eventually".
>NOPE.avi
>plastiline became a shit brownie mass
>I waste my plastiline bars
>whathaveidone.jpg (.__. )

[Anonymous No.5486553]

>get told I can't change my underwear through my pants
>keep trying because I can't admit defeat

[Anonymous No.5486584]

>>5486553
But you actually can!
>lrn2topology8

[Anonymous No.5486626]

>Be 5, maybe 6
>Playing with friend in bedroom
>Dude the top of that socket looks like a coin slot
>Let's drop a penny in there and see what happens!
>Drop penny behind electrical socket
>Wall explodes in a blue flash
>ABORT ABORT ABORT
>???
>Get outside
>Holy shit that was awesome let's do it again

Oh god being a kid was the best.

[Anonymous No.5486666]

>>5486030
Sounds like most of us here.

[Anonymous No.5486675]

>>5486142
I used to have similar thoughts when I was a kid: "If an object is moving with a certain speed against a background, how do we know that the object is in fact moving, and not the background that is just moving relative to it?"
I shunned it off as philosophical wankery, though.

[Anonymous No.5486711]

>>5485860
>infinite electricity.jpg
Interesting fact related to picture
You can connect two powerstrips to eachother like that. And by using a power cabel with plugs on both end(they don't sell these because they are mortal dangers, but you could make one yourself) from the wall plug to the strip(what would normally be an output), you could power both of them.

[Anonymous No.5486721]

>>5486142

Had you never seen a car moving while you weren't in it before or something.

[Anonymous No.5486724]

>be 7
>decide to plant apple seed in a cup filled with dirt
>hope for mini apples to grow on my mini tree
>finally lost interest after one week with no results

[Anonymous No.5486736]

>>5485888
But that's diet Pepsi

[Anonymous No.5486754]

>>5485860
>Be 5-6 at grandparents house
>Uncle has Firecrackers
>SO MUCH YES.jpg
>Punch holes in tin cans
>fire cracker in the hole
>Place can with firecracker resting on hole
>in bowl of water
>Boom
>Tin Can shoots 10~20 feet up in air

[Intellectual Zombie No.5486755]

>play with marbles as a kid
>make a promise one day while marbling
>cross fingers for extra promise emphasis
>apply crossed fingers to marble
>MIND SHATTERED

[Anonymous No.5486767]

>>5486475
>Got yelled at because it makes the T.V. work twice as hard
>yfw you got told that turning the lights on and off makes it use twice as much electricity

[Anonymous No.5486777]

>>5486711
you know the first thing i thought about when i saw the picture was if that would work. then i thought about how stupid it was. you can just plug 1 in to the other and have 2 power strips with the same amount of sockets, without the risk of electrical shock.

[Anonymous No.5486798]

More fit for /ck/ but it's all I got
>be like 8
>favorite food is tortellini
>mom sometimes cooks it in the microwave and im hungry now so fuck it
>water? nah, it'll cook quicker with no water, since it doesn't have to heat that up too
>8:00 ought to do it
>holy shit all the smoke
>microwave and kitchen wall turn yellow from horrible tortellini smoke
>tortellini and bowl are now horrible black mass
>what the fuck is in that tortellini?

[Anonymous No.5486810]

>be 7
>not allowed to use hair gel because small
>decided to make my own
>put in cold cream, water talc and some other stuff and mixed
>I actually used that for a few days

man I was dumb

[Anonymous No.5486837]

>>5486755
I'm confused.

[Anonymous No.5486849]

>>5485860

>Read the back label of a Chetos bag
>ingredients: potato, natural oil, salt. chili,corn, etc
>figure out that if I mix all those ingredients, I will be able to make home-made chetos
>my mom's face when

[Anonymous No.5486857]

>>5486837
Try it yourself. Touch a marble between two crossed fingers.

[Anonymous No.5486859]

>Be 4
>See factory releasing white shit
>Woah look at that cloud factory !

[Anonymous No.5486876]

>>5486857
I have no marbles ;_;

[Anonymous No.5486877]

>>5486767
It actually require a certain amount of energy to turn on a phosphorescent light.

[Anonymous No.5486901]

>>5486721
I assumed the car was moving me and the landscape.

[Anonymous No.5486943]

>Router plug broke.
>Ihaveanindea.jpg
>Connect up batteries until required voltage.
>disregard emf, acquire results.
>Place batteries against frayed wires.
>Works for one second.

Oh shit, this happened two months ago.

[Anonymous No.5486953]

>>5486901
learn2relativity

[Anonymous No.5486975]

>be 7
>not allowed puppy or kitten
>decide to create my own baby pet
>get some of those plastic capsules that little toys come in
>think that if i combine bits of reproductive parts from different organisms they will combine together to form a new kind of animal
>put egg white, flower pollen, bits of chicken, fish and fur into the capsules
>bury 'eggs' in yard
>dig up after 3 weeks to get my new baby pets out
>mfw the smell

[Anonymous No.5486977]

>>5486412
Yeah I did this when I was 4 or so, I didn't believe that something that was just...light...would actually be able to harm me. Stared at it till it turned blue, then black. I have mediocre night vision as a young adult, but nothing too bad.

[Anonymous No.5486998]

>>5486975
I wish I had salmonella as a pet.

[Anonymous No.5487018]

Only thing coming to mind right now is the ole "umbrella should work like a parachute, better jump off something high"

[Anonymous No.5487026]

>>5486142
>leave our car in the hopes of walking to another car
did you died

[Anonymous No.5487033]

>>5486877
TUBES lights are not the same as bulbs

[Anonymous No.5487043]

>>5487018
I tried this when I was 5 or so with my mom's massive umbrella (probably close to 4' wide, it was wider than I was tall at the time). Jumped off a wall that was probably 7' high and I swore it "worked". Because I remember having to hold on for dear life to keep from falling off, the drag was so much.

[Anonymous No.5487045]

>Be 7 or 8.
>Hear about the Big Bang.
>Begin to wonder what came before it.
>Heard a science type say there was nothing and then the big bang happened and suddenly everything.
>Begin to wonder what it looked like if there was nothing. What color specifically.
>Blowing my own mind that if the color black doesn't exist than what could it possibly look like without light.

I had weird thoughts as a child.

[Anonymous No.5487058]

I used to live by a coast. whenever the sun set, I would think that it goes into the water to warm it up throughout the night, so that in the morning the water is warm and we can swim.

[Anonymous No.5487055]

>Always hear my name while playing alone in the forest my childhood house resides in.
>Think it's just sound waves from people talking to me from before going all the way around the earth and back to me.

[Anonymous No.5487067]

More child stupidity than child science I guess but I remember asking my kindergarten teacher how to spell the letters of the alphabet. Like "how do you spell b? is it be or bee or bea? and what about g? jee?gee?"

She had to tell me about 5 times that you don't spell letters, they're just the one letter and I just wasn't getting it

[Anonymous No.5487072]

>>5487026
Totes.

[Anonymous No.5487073]

>Preschool.
>Learning basic adding and subtracting.
>Think 2+2=22. 5+4=54 ect.

[Anonymous No.5487086]

>>5487067
/ˈbiː/, /ˈdʒiː/.

[Anonymous No.5487103]

>>5487086

That fucking bitch lied to me. Ms. Long, you're going down.

[Anonymous No.5487114]

>>5486755
wait I'm trying it right now, what exactly is the technique here?

[Anonymous No.5487122]

>>5487114
I think he discovered a tactile illusion.

>>5487103
How old was she? She's probably dead by now.

[Anonymous No.5487154]

>>5486975

This is some serial killer shit.

[Anonymous No.5487155]

>>5487122
like your fingers feel like they're switched around?

[Anonymous No.5487184]

>>5487155
Most likely the illusion of feeling two marbles.

[Anonymous No.5487203]

>be 6
>brother and dad are left-handed
>me and mom are right-handed
>obviously, girls are right-handed, boys are left-handed
>go to kindergarten, boys writing with right hand
>wut.jpg

[Anonymous No.5487235]

Story the first:
> Be 7
> Brushing teeth
> Notice hand soap
> If soap makes your hands clean, then why can't it make other things clean?
> Scrape soap onto brush
> NOPENOPENOPEGETITOUTOFMYMOUTH

Story the second:
> Be 12
> Love paper-mache
> On holiday
> Hotel bathroom has box of tissues next to sink
> Pour water into box to soak whole thing
> Come back the next day to feel what will obviously be a dense concrete-like mass of paper-mache
> Nope, it's a new tissue box
> Do it again
> Repeat two weeks
And my parents knew the manager, too. I never knew if they realised it was me.

[Anonymous No.5487264]

>around ten years old
>make a snow ball, put it in freezer
>dad's coworker over one day, tells me I should put it under cold water so that it will "absorb the water and make it heavier"
>tfw half a snowball

[Anonymous No.5487267]

>be 9
>make bet with friend. $5
>lose bet
>dont have $5
>wait a second... CHECKS! INSTANT MONEY!
>mom, can i have a check for $5?
>why?
>explain my situation
>im sorry son, but checks dont work that way. You need to have money in the bank so that the check can be cashed into money by a bank.
>mybrainisfulloffuck.jpg
>have some voided out starter checks to play with

I litterally sat in the kitchen for 10 whole hours unfucking my brain and staring at those checks. I shit you not, but in those 10 hours, i finally made sense of what i was told and knew how to write a check, that checks are sequential in their numbering system, and how they all tied into a checking account. The only help my mom offering was those voided out checks.

>be 30
>be today
>have never written a check

[Anonymous No.5487272]

>be 9
>make bet with friend. $5
>lose bet
>dont have $5
>wait a second... CHECKS! INSTANT MONEY!
>mom, can i have a check for $5?
>why?
>explain my situation
>im sorry son, but checks dont work that way. You need to have money in the bank so that the check can be cashed into money by a bank.
>mybrainisfulloffuck.jpg
>have some voided out starter checks and the balance ledger to play with

I litterally sat in the kitchen for 10 whole hours unfucking my brain and staring at those checks and trying to figure out what the fuck was this balance ledger. I shit you not, but in those 10 hours, i finally made sense of what i was told and knew how to write a check, that checks are sequential in their numbering system, and how they all tied into a checking account. The only help my mom offering was those voided out checks and the balance ledger.

>be 30
>be today
>have never written a check

[ClementZ !!2a2HlhR8AO3 No.5487281]

>>5487045
My mind is still blown when I think of this
I cannot fathom what nothing would look like like.

This is more /o/ related, but w/e.
>Used to think exhaust gases propelled cars
>too much NFS
>ridin on dat nitrous erryday
>flames out the ass
>more speed
>therefore, more exhaust equals more speed.

[Anonymous No.5487286]

>>5486876

It also works if you touch the tip of your nose.

[Anonymous No.5487292]

>>5487281
Imagine what it is to be blind, deaf, numb and unable to smell/taste. To be completely deprived of all senses.

[Anonymous No.5487297]

>be 3rd grade (about 9 yo)
>doing wind experiments with a protractor, string, and a ping pong ball.
>students paired into 2
>set outside
>some go up a huge hill (I litterally thought this hill was like 500 ft high. i went back there at age 28, its like a 20 ft mound)
>come back inside and compare results
>teacher asks why the wind at the top of the "mountain" was higher
>put hand up
>get chosen
>over think the royal fuck out of it
>storms create wind! i'll use that in my hypothesis
>respond with the hill is closer to the sky, meaning you are closer to storm clouds which means the closer you are to storm clouds, the windier it is.

god i was dumb

[Anonymous No.5487294]

> thought that the bodies of dead people were in scrunched up inside tombstones, not buried in front of them.

> thought tomorrow was a specific day of the week

Such is life.

[Anonymous No.5487303]

>>5487272
i wrote a check to the mortgage company last week and i wrote -12 instead of -13
For fuck's sake i'm retarded.

When i was about 5, i had a bucket in the bath tub. I pushed it under water, and the water poured in. I then flipped it upside down, and pulled it almost all of the way out of the bath water.

I was amazed the water stayed in the bucket, even though it was higher than the rest of the water. I still don't understand suction or whatever principal explains so and so

[Anonymous No.5487304]

>>5487294
For a while I thought that people were buried vertically directly under the tombstone.

[Anonymous No.5487308]

>>5487297

btw, the proper response was "fewer obstacles to block the wind"

>same grade
>be recess
>be with friends
>walk by trash can
>reeks
>one friend calls out "Who cut the cheese!?"
>wut
>look in trash can
>i dont see any cheese
>bewildered, i stare into trash can trying to find this cheese that had been cut so i can make sense of this. Why would cheese stink when you cut it!? THIS MAKES NO SENSE! WHERE IS THE FUCKING CHEESE GODDAMNIT!
>use up entire recess looking into trash can trying to identify this stinky cheese
>finally put it all together.
>rotten smell + who cut the cheese = an idiom used to announce that something stinks.

I really was an idiot

[Anonymous No.5487314]

>>5486754
That's not a childish belief. That's pressure.

[Anonymous No.5487325]

>>5487292
ok?

[Anonymous No.5487331]

>>5485860
>celcius
>400
>your cookies were fucking ash

[Anonymous No.5487334]

>Be 8
>see the moon in the sky during the day
>Tell all my friends, "Hey look you can see the moon during the day!"
>"No you're retarded the moon only comes out at night you idiot"
>Point at the moon clearly visible in the sky
>"Haha what an idiot that's not the moon"

[Anonymous No.5487342]

>be 8
>argue with friend who can count the highest
>say I can count to infinity
>literally believe infinity is an actual number
>infinity plus 1 etc.
>friend leaves
>have nothing else better to do
>begin counting
>3 hours later
>get to 1000
>realize at that moment that infinity isnt a number, but a term to mean forever.
>still no regrets

[Anonymous No.5487364]

>be 8
>mom decides to be a bitch and not let me watch new episode of digimon
>mad as fuck because I miss it
>after it was over, decide to get my clock and turn back the time so the episode will replay
>mfw it didn't

[Anonymous No.5487401]

>5 years old
>love licking ice
>think "if lick the freezer I will get an infinite amount of ice licking"
>mfw my tongue got stuck for 2 hours since no one was home

[Anonymous No.5487405]

>>5486767
>hurf durf magrider not OP.jpg

[Anonymous No.5487417]

>be 6
>calling my cousin on the phone
>live in illinois
>him in ohio
>"I have to go, my mom says it's bed time at 9"
>fucking retard does he not understand that it's barely 8 right now

[Anonymous No.5487427]

>had a functional understanding of steam engines at the age of five but thought that was how all cars worked
>my dad led me on for at least a year whenever i would ask what he was working on with the car
WELL SON, I'M CLEANING THE FIREBOX AND FILLING THE BOILER WITH WATER
>fuck you dad

[Anonymous No.5487428]

>>5485860
>400 Celsius
>752 fahrenheit
>673.15 Kelvin

[Anonymous No.5487445]

>graduate kindergarden
>believe I have all the knowledge of the universe now

Also
>be 6
>have to brush my teeth
>see a strawberry scented air spray
>think I don't have to brush my teeth if my mouth smells like glorious strawberries
>deargodmymouth.gif

[Anonymous No.5487459]

>>5487445
how'd canned perfume taste?

[Anonymous No.5487470]

>>5486030
define x

[Anonymous No.5487478]

I dont have one that i can remember but I watched another kids mind be blown so i will explain

>father is firefighter
>has a group of kids at his station
>decides to do a 'magic trick'
>does said trick in picture
>black kid memorized by this action and cant wrap his head around it
>"Do dat again"
>father does again
>Kid gets up and points down "Put it on the flo"

[Anonymous No.5487481]

My friend's dad told him you could get more out of a dead battery by holding it tightly in your hand until your body heat warms it up.
So, logically, he put it in the microwave to heat it up faster.
Needless to say, it didn't end well.

[Anonymous No.5487483]

I dont have one that i can remember but I watched another kids mind be blown so i will explain

>father is firefighter
>has a group of kids at his station
>decides to do a 'magic trick'
>does said trick in picture
>black kid memorized by this action and cant wrap his head around it
>"Do dat again"
>father does again
>Kid gets up and points down "Put it on the flo"

[Anonymous No.5487506]

>>5486849
this is GENIOUS legit

IM ALREDY DOING IT

[Anonymous No.5487510]

>>5487483
10/10

[Anonymous No.5487534]

>>5487073
I did something similar in like first grade. I invented a new symbol that was shaped like a spiral. It indicated to smash the two numbers together, like your thing.

[Anonymous No.5487540]

>Be 7.
>Can't find electric mixer for my cake batter, although the beaters are in the silverware drawer.
>Remember that we have a power drill in the garage.
>Bring it to the kitchen, insert the beater and give the trigger a few test squeezes.
>As I'm mixing the batter, my mom walks in and starts bitching about what I'm doing.
>Argue with her while still mixing, eject the beater into the sink, put the cake in the oven, and gtfo the kitchen.

>Be 6.
>Wondered if I could make a hard-boiled egg in the microwave.
>Put the egg in and turn it on.
>Didn't take long for the egg to explode.
>Took like 10 damn minutes to clean it all up.

>Be 12.
>Friend's apartment building is infested with horseflies, they live in the basement.
>We go downstairs to kill them by scaring them to opposite sides of the room, and attacking them as they fly.
>Decide it would be fun to poison them.
>See bleach on a shelf above the dryer.
>There's a glass jar right next to it.
>Shit's about to get serious.
>Tell friend to turn around.
>Piss in jar when he's not looking, then add bleach.
>Add stuff to the bottom of the jar so the flies have somewhere to stand.
>Spend the next half hour gassing the flies to death while giggling at their suffering (so fuckin' edgy, you can't even comprehend, nigger).

>Be 11.
>Have a downloaded and printed copy of the Anarchist Cookbook.
>The only pyrotechnic recipe I can make is napalm.
>Make half a gallon of it, spend hours with my driveway on fire.
>I have no idea how no one saw and called the police.

[Anonymous No.5487545]

>be 5 years old in a car at a red light
>watch the cars out the window
>my moms car is moving backwards
>theres cars behind us
>start flipping the fuck out thinking we are going to run into it
>the car i was watching was way past us at this point
>as i was freaking out crying and shit my mom lets me know everything's okay because the other car made it seem like we were moving backwards but they were really driving by us and it calmed me down.

16 years later that shit still happens and i always remember that

[OP IS A !FAG..jIhak No.5487551]

>>5487534

When I was 11 and learning to program in QBASIC, I wondered why the «point» operator wouldn't work on variables -- if 5 «point» 4 is 5.4, then why can't I do x «point» y?

[Anonymous No.5487552]

>Be 6 years old
>Pull a troublesome baby tooth out just before bedtime
>Time to see if the tooth fairy is real or not, I don't tell my parents about it and go to bed as per usual
>I slide the precious cargo into position underneath my pillow, toward to outer edge to make sure the tooth fairy won't have any excuses for missing it
>Next morning the tooth is still there and I call my parents out on this tooth fairy bullshit. They tell me I got up too early in the morning and she hasn't come around yet. I tell them to stop lying to me, and go back to bed in a huff.

>Mum comes in to my room about 20 minutes later and while talking to me, slides this shitty card she printed on our inkjet printer. It has a generic picture of a fairy on the front and "YOU MUST BELIEVE, TO RECEIVE" written on the inside in Comic Sans MS.
>I used the same card making program to print cards for my friends and recognized the graphic instantly and rightfully threw a tantrum. Mum stuck by the words of the tooth fairy and refused to pay up until I told her believed in the tooth fairy once again.

>The computer is already turned on, so it doesn't take long to open the card design program and look in recent documents to see a file named "STUART," created that very morning. It was the very same as the one under my pillow.
>Tantrum continued after my parents still refused to admit the tooth fairy is a lie, Dad tells me she (The Tooth Fairy) sent him an email of the card for him to print out since it's faster than snail mail.
>Internet hadn't been dialed in for Outlook Express to send/recieve emails since yesterday afternoon (well before the tooth became detached).
>Apparently emails from fairies arrive regardless of whether or not you're connected to the internet.

[Anonymous No.5487553]

>>5487552

>Back in my room Mum come in again to talk to me, I'm lying in bed sulking with my head buried in the pillow
>I feel her hand sliding underneath my pillow again so I quickly grab it with both arms before she can make the transaction
>She already managed to deposit a shiny $2 coin but I pry her hand open to find my tooth nestled inside
>I ask her what the meaning of all this is?
>Apparently the tooth fairy sent her another email asking her to swap to tooth for cash on her behalf, as she is tied up at the moment and won't be able to make it
>Bullshit. It's all lies and they know it. I still refuse to believe the tooth fairy is real

>Later that day Mum and Dad apologize to me and give me $5
>Best day ever

[Anonymous No.5487555]

>like 5 or 6
>learn that clouds are made of evaporated water (thankyou magic schoolbus)
>trap some water in a jar and put it in the sun
>waiting for adorable mini pet cloud
>discover condensation and dissapointment

[Anonymous No.5487556]

>>5486666

[Anonymous No.5487557]

>>5487553
Australian?

[Anonymous No.5487560]

>3
>Watching Sesame street
>Big bird is teaching kids the dangers of shit around the household that can hurt you
>"And remember kids, never ever stick anything into a light socket."
>Remember an earlier Mr Rogers episode on how metal conducts electricity
>I bet if I use a plastic fork everything will be fine, those other kids were retards

[Anonymous No.5487562]

>>5487557
Yeah

Also
>Find out about the three phases of matter, specifically, as liquids are heated they become a gas.
>Put liquid cake batted into really hot oven
>Mind blown

[Anonymous No.5487563]

>build robot out of meccanos
>no motors, no circuits, no wires
>i put batteries inside it, expecting it to come to life
>nope

[Anonymous No.5487564]

>>5487292
I'm still concious of myself.

[Anonymous No.5487577]

>>5487552
>"YOU MUST BELIEVE, TO RECEIVE" written on the inside in Comic Sans MS.

[Anonymous No.5487576]

Did anyone really fuck up girl's anatomy when they were little?

>Be 7
>ask dad if girls have balls
>he gives me a weird look and says no
>I automatically assume girls only have balls.


>Be 11
>Seen some porn and realize girls have nothing
>think all sex is done in the ass
>think girls shit babies out

That junior high anatomy book changed my fucking life, my parents really should have explained that shit to me.

[Anonymous No.5487579]

>>5487576
fuck, i meant I thought they only had dicks.

[Anonymous No.5487608]

>>5487557
Don't other countries have $2 coins?

[Anonymous No.5487604]

>have never seen breasts
>dont see my first naked pic till 8th grade
>all that time i assumed they were all shaped like half spheres, like a sphere divided in half
>see porn at friends house. "so thats what they look like... i had no idea"

[Anonymous No.5487613]

>didn't know what boners are
>assumed it was my penis filling with urine
>go to the bathroom to pee everytime i get a boner

[Anonymous No.5487649]

>>5487483

[Anonymous No.5487668]

Could someone rewrite this thread in normal sentences? This broken green English fucks me over.

[Anonymous No.5487696]

>>5485860
>Have one liter of milk that expired three day ago and two liters of milk that will expire in two days.
> 1(-3) + 2(2) = 1. If I mix the milks together the expiration dates will average out to something safe to drink.
> Nope. Expiration dates don't work like that.

[Anonymous No.5487701]

>be 16
>get on top of friends car
>he drives 20 km/h
>i jump up hoping to land on the car again
>fall on ground
>what the fuck einstein, you told me this would work

only minor bruises though.

[Anonymous No.5487702]

>>5487696
What if you'd mixed them ahead of time before they expired? Afterall, what happens with milk is that it becomes more acidic over time until it curdles. Wouldn't it work in that case?

[Anonymous No.5487712]

I've been trying to think for the last 30 mins what I've done that is logically stupid as a kid and came up with

>be 12
>my friend and I decide to make a cake
>only have a stove top, was a poor white nigglet
>jamie oliver style freethink baking chuck in flower, oil, sugar and shit
>cover cake mix with lid
>10 mins in open that shit up
>the black pits of hell damaged mothers pot, the cherished and best one we had
>this is not how powerpuff girls are formed

[Anonymous No.5487717]

>>5487281

Nothing would look black.

Since darkness is just an absence of light, there would be only the darkest of blacks.

[Anonymous No.5487727]

>Grandpa has dentures
>Pulls them out and tells me I should be able to do the same with my gums

God what a dick.

[Anonymous No.5487728]

>>5487727
bahahahaahahahahahahaahahahahah

[Anonymous No.5487738]

>>5487727
Your grandpa is awesome.

[Anonymous No.5487750]

>>5486953
prove him wrong

[Anonymous No.5487766]

You are all amateurs .

I was making explosives out of Kinder Surprise plastic shell, fizzy powders and water when I was about 7.

[Anonymous No.5487777]

>>5487292
>>5487281
>>5487045
It's simple;

Try this: Take your right hand and cover your right eye so that only your left eye is able to see

Now try looking out your right eye

You'll notice that there is no color or light or anything, it's just nothing.

[Anonymous No.5487785]

>basic math in first or second grade
>"an airplane flies at 10000 meters"
>"It flies over mt. everest, which is 8000 meters (for simplicity)"
>"how high above mt everest is the airplane?"

>remove zeroes, subtract real numbers
the answer is obviously 2 meters!
man that can't be safe i thought

it took my mom 40 minutes of explaining why this isn't the case

;_;

[Anonymous No.5487787]

>Be about 6 (maybe 5)
>Recently discovered that you could play games on a computer
>Played Galaga alot
>Saw my dad using floppy disks
>He used to write on the floppy disks
>Thought that the computer reads what you wrote on the floppy disk and makes it appear on the computer
>Get a floppy disk
>Think of the only other game I know
>Write Super Mario
>Insert disk into computer
>WTF
>It didn't work!
I was actually quite disappointed

[Anonymous No.5487809]

>>5487608
canada has them. 2 soles in peru . think there is a 2 pound coin?

[Anonymous No.5487811]

>>5486755
>I DOUBLED THEM

[Anonymous No.5487813]

>>5487787
I think that's how they make sport games these days.

[Anonymous No.5487855]

>>5487613
my father told me it meant i had to pee.

[Anonymous No.5487869]

>>5487272
>>5487303
*cheque
>b-but 'murcah!

[Anonymous No.5487870]

>>5487334
ITS THE OTHER MOON

[Anonymous No.5487873]

>>5485894
>be 5-6ish
>believe your shadow is just another person following you everywhere
>keep thinking if i run fast enough my shadow will break and i will be free from its curse
>start running..running ..running so fast omg how are my legs even moving atm omg
>jump halfway
>looking down
>see my shadow not attached from my feet
>when I land it gets back on my feet
>realize the shadow just had some form of glitch
>go home declaring to my Big Bro that (I RAN FASTER THAN MY SHADOW, I GOT AWAY FROM IT OMG LOOK LOOK )
>I believed in that for years.

[Anonymous No.5487876]

>>5486057
ahahahaha bawww same thing happened to me but with pudding

love <3

[Anonymous No.5487878]

>>5487701
>how do i into drag?

[Anonymous No.5487880]

>>5485860
OP these aren't kid science moments They're just called being a retard.

[Anonymous No.5487881]

>>5487880
>being this autistic and boring

[Anonymous No.5487890]

>>5487281
>>5487717

What are you guys talking about.

Nothing wouldn't look black. Nothing wouldn't look like anything because there's nothing to look at.

There is no answer to the question. You sound like a kid asking what number infinity is. "It isn't a number it's a concept" "Yeah but what does it start with, must be a 9 right?" "No, it's a concept" "Yeah but what numbers are in it, what does it end with" "Its just a concept" "It must end in a 9 at least right?"

"What does nothing look like I can't imagine it"
"You can't imagine it it doesn't look like anything"
"Yeah but what would you see, black right?"
"..."

[Anonymous No.5487891]

>>5487334
>Be, like, 24
>Have girlfriend. She has two degrees and I always considered her reasonable intelligent. She easily passed an astronomy course in college.
>Daylight out, the moon is invisible.
>"Hey Anon, look at that! Is that mars?"
>Notsureiftrolling.jpg
>She's NOT FUCKING TROLLING, she really thought the moon was FUCKING MARS.
>WTF
>So later, like months later maybe, we're at her dad's place.
>I thought her dad was REALLY fucking smart. Top 10 school, law degree, owns several successful businesses, etc.
>"Hey look guys, is that Mars?"
>Yeah, he wasn't trolling either.
>...
>Much later, being 30
>I have married same girl, and she is carrying my offspring. I trust my own superior genes will override... whatever THAT was all about.

[Anonymous No.5487892]

>be 6
>believe that covalent bonds work by makin an attractive force between electrons
Ahah, how naive was I.

[Anonymous No.5487898]

>>5487303
>I still don't understand suction or whatever principal explains so and so

How would air get in to replace the water if the opening to the bucket is underwater?

You think the water should just flow out? To be replaced by what? A vacuum in the bucket?

Man you guys were dim kids, I refuse to believe I was the only one that never had retard moments as a kid. If I didn't know how something worked I asked whatever adult was nearest and bugged the fuck out of my parents.

I didn't know how streetlights knew it was dark. Why don't they all come on at the same time. So I just asked my dad. "Oh they have a little sensor on the top and an electrical circuit that detects when it gets dark, look our garden lights work on the same thing" and he went over to the sensor and covered it with his hand turning all our garden lights on.

I feel sorry for you guys if you didn't have decent parents and science teachers.

[Anonymous No.5487901]

>>5487891
"Hey dad, look at that! Is that mars?"

[Anonymous No.5487916]

>>5487901
If the question comes when he's, like, 6 or something reasonable; fine. That's normal. His granddad was fucking 50 something and had all the education in the world behind him, he had no goddamn excuse.

And my wife is under strict instructions to explain NOTHING to our son without checking with me to make absolutely sure it is correct. When my son is old enough to understand I will make sure he knows not to listen to his mother when she's attempting to explain anything important.

[Anonymous No.5487920]

>>5487891

>>I have married same girl, and she is carrying my offspring. I trust my own superior genes will override... whatever THAT was all about.

So the question is, why did you marry such a person to begin with?

>>her dad... owns several successful businesses...

Oh yeah.

Might I suggest several children, Anon? No sense trusting the success of your genetic line to a single roll of the dice, dice which you KNOW are loaded against you.

[Anonymous No.5487921]

>>5487916
>under strict instructions to explain NOTHING to our son without checking with me
Seems harsh. Why not trust your wife?

[Anonymous No.5487922]

>>5487891
Oh god you reminded me

>Be at ex girlfriends house late evening
>"Oh my god look, they're back again!"
>Her family all rush to the window
>"Look over there!"
>"Oh my god look there's more this time"
>"Look at that one it's closer!"
>"More aliens! Look dad look how low that ones going"
>"What are they? It's so creepy"

>Ask what they're looking at
>Get to the window and look out
>Orange points of light moving slowly across the sky, some closer than others coming from the same direction
>They're clearly Chinese lanterns, a couple are close enough you can even see the flame

>mfw they genuinely thought they were UFO's or something
>"Da hell are Chinese lanterns?"
>"These little paper things you put a tea light in and they float off like mini hot air balloons"
>"What are you talking about"

They didn't believe me until I went to their computer and googled a picture of them.

[Anonymous No.5487930]

>be 8
>draw pic related in my art book
>dad asks me if it's supposed to be a "girl part"
>get told off even though I had no idea what he meant

[Anonymous No.5487932]

>Hey dad, are there torches that makes things dark instead of light?
>Is water alive?
>I'm certain girls aren't able to poop.
>Convinced if I tried for long enough I'd discover a shape formed from three straight lines that wasn't a triangle

[Anonymous No.5487933]

>>5487921
>Why not trust your wife?

Because raising kids with a bad sense of logic and how to acquire knowledge can be fatal. Just look at all the stories in this thread. They'd all have been averted if they had parents that taught them about how to discover things. Unfortunately most parents are unable to say "I don't know the answer to that, let's go find out, where's your encyclopaedia / google".

Look at society. All the strange logical jumps people make. They all come about because of parents that do the same thing.

Making bad logical jumps then not checking what you come up with is bad.
>"Hey mum, why is the sky blue?"
>Mother makes bad logical connections then assumes she is correct with no testing of her theory
>"Well son, I guess it reflects the sea"
Simply thinking about this some more would identify the problems here. (Why is it blue inland? Why does it go grey when water is always slightly blue?). But she doesn't do that, and she'd raise a kid who also didn't do that.

People think some random thought, then settle on the first answer they find without thinking any more about it because that's what most adults do. Most adults don't care why the sky is blue. They just settle on the first answer they think makes sense and tell their kid that. Then they forget about it and go on with their tax returns forgetting that their kid may latch onto that idea for the rest of his life (or until someone corrects him).

[Anonymous No.5487939]

>>5487933
I admire you anon, for saying what most of us are probably thinking.

[Anonymous No.5487941]

>>5487933
>The education system in a nutshell

[Anonymous No.5487942]

>>5487941
>The *western* education system in a nutshell

[Anonymous No.5487945]

For a long time I was really scared I'd become addicted to cigarettes and get lung cancer if I accidentally breathed in some smoke from something like a candle or camp fire. The lectures I got on the dangers of smoking never explained that tobacco smoke was different.

[Anonymous No.5487946]

>>5487941
>>5487942

more like /sci/ in a nutshell
>valid question
>nobody knows the answer
>look it up on wikipedia faggot

[Anonymous No.5487952]

>>5487942
Uh oh.

When I was small and watched Thunderbirds, I thought that the sole purpose of the wings on a plane was to provide something for the bad guy to cling to during the dramatic mid-air confrontation. I just couldn't work out why else you'd put them on.

[Anonymous No.5487953]

>microwaveable cookies
>microwave 10 seconds = mhmmm
>microwave 30 seconds = mouth watering
>obviously linear relationship here
>microwave 2 minutes.
>ohShitFire.jpg

>eating apples
>delicious
>eating salad
>not delicious
>bad + good = average
>apples + salad = average
>nope
>parents make me eat giant bowl of apple salad
>fuck me i'm never cooking again

I became a man that day. Mother still wonders why I don't cook more.

[Anonymous No.5487955]

>be 6th grade
>friend wants to make a lightsaber
>steal parts from local construction houses
>get laser pen
>friend says last part we need is a crystal to focus the beam
>get some of my dads topaz from his collection
>light saber ends up not working >:I

[Anonymous No.5487956]

>>5486724

>be 7
>plant broken branch into ground hoping for tree
>years later
>it fucking worked

[Anonymous No.5487959]

>>5487953
What do you classify as salad?

[Anonymous No.5487974]

>>5487427 >WELL SON, I'M CLEANING THE FIREBOX AND FILLING THE BOILER WITH WATER

This is fucking genius

[Anonymous No.5487978]

>>5487953

my mom sometimes put apples in salad with walnuts and stuff

that shit's delicious

[Anonymous No.5487979]

>>5487604

Doesn't your mum have boobs?

[Anonymous No.5488084]

>>5487959

Just a normal salad. I like them now that I grew up. Actually hate apples more.

>>5487978

I was pretty young. My tastes evolved after puberty I guess.

[Anonymous No.5488348]

>>5487891
>20 years later
>hey, Anon, is that Mars?

[Anonymous No.5488349]

>>5487933
It seems to me that the solution to your problem would be to get a smarter wife.

[Anonymous No.5488350]

>>5487922
> Build isolated tropical hideout.
> Assemble smartest humans
> Release deadly virus
> Repopulate Earth
> ????
> PROFIT!!!!

[Anonymous No.5489040]

>>5487552
This reminds me
>be 5
>playing with my cousin and his friends
>a black cat comes along
>they start spitting furiously
>I ask what's going on
>tell me that if I don't spit three times when I see a black cat I'll "wake up dead" tomorrow
>shit does not follow
>refuse to do it
>they look genuinely concerned
>still refuse
>wake up properly alive tomorrow
>a skeptic is born.jpg

[Anonymous No.5489062]

>>5486460
>invisible paint
What's the fucking point

[Anonymous No.5489113]

>>5485860
>milk
>tastes shit

what kind of kid were you?
when i was your age i drank 1L of fresh warm milk right after my grandma was finished milking the cow.
now im 1.97+Meters and i miss that incredible delicious nectar of life.
fuck you op

[Anonymous No.5489123]

>>5487427
that's fucking awesome

[Anonymous No.5489143]

>>5489113
I'm 1.98 because I discovered chocolate milk

[Anonymous No.5489178]

>be 12
>Discover masturbation
>strive for the feel of vag!
>Go into bathroom
>Look through medicine cabinet
>Vix Vapo rub!
>this should do the trick
>Lube up!
>This is awesome.
>wait...
>...
>...wait...
>....
>FUCK!
>SATANS FIREY CUNT AROUND MY DICK!
>IT BURNS!
>Try to wash that shit off with water
>Its water proof it wont come off!
>Parents find me naked and writhing on the floor of the bathroom crying.

Science.

[Anonymous No.5489215]

>>5487045
black is absence of color...

[Anonymous No.5489231]

>>5489113
yeah well you are a eurofag, us americans have got to get our fluoride and feminizing hormones so fresh milk is completely illegal

[Anonymous No.5489246]

>be 9 or 10
>try to make ant poison from fig leaves
>boil it in water and pour it on an ant pile
>few days later all the ants are dead
If you ever touched a fig leaf, you'd know they are abrasive as fuck. thinking back now, I'm pretty sure my dad had simply poisoned the pile as he did this routinely.

[Anonymous No.5489264]

>around 6-8 years old
>decide to be a scientist and try to concoct an amazing drink
>mix orange juice, pepper, and some other nasty shit
>taste it
>vomit

[Anonymous No.5489271]

>>5489264
I did something like this. I made 'orange soup' that was basically orange juice mixed with random spices and condiments and stuff.
I actually liked it though and got all my friends and family to taste it too. They all acted like it was delicious and that I was a genius or something, looking back now it probably tasted fucking vile

[Anonymous No.5489307]

>Father calls his friend big bro
>I call his friend as big bro
>He is 50 years old
>Everyone makes fun of me

[Anonymous No.5489310]

>be 6
>learn about all the thirsty dying people in africa
>IWILLCURETHIS
>spend fucking ages thinking about how to help these people
>eureka!

Why don't they just drink their own saliva?! PROBLEM SOLVED.

>same year
>mom tells me to finish my dinner because their are starving children in africa
>wtf
>IMUSTSAVETHESEPEOPLE
>eureka!

Why don't we just manufacture a little pill that contains all the nutrients you need for a day?!

>tell my mother so she can put the word out to the scientists
>mfw she says "but the pill won't cure the *feeling* of hunger"

And that's how I learned my mother is a fucking retard.

[Anonymous No.5489320]

>>5489310
>mom tells me to finish my dinner because their are starving children in africa
>ask her if they'll stop starving if I finish
>well I uh... Just finish the goddamned dinner

[Anonymous No.5489325]

That might not be entirely inaccurate. Your stomach may still be relatively empy, triggering reflexive hunger.

[Anonymous No.5489326]

>>5489325
you best be trolling

[Anonymous No.5489332]

>>5489215
>black is absence of color...

No, black is what your eyes transmit to you brain under the condition that that part of your retina is receiving no light.

That's not what it actually looks lile.

[Anonymous No.5489333]

>>5489231
yeah well americans always think that they get better toxins and hormones,we get them too! We are serious people,no raw milk and organic
stuff here

[Anonymous No.5489337]

>>5489231
What?So you are saying you never drinked fresh milk?Omg bro you are missing so much.

[Anonymous No.5489341]

>>5487304
That is a good idea

[Anonymous No.5489351]

>be 19
>Are you circumcized?
>No.
>Am circumcized.

[Anonymous No.5489355]

Age 4
>square block goes in square hole, triangle block goes in triangle hole
>car keys have skinny rectangle silhouette when viewed from front, same as the skinny rectangle holes in the walls.
>car keys must go in the hole in the wall
>OH GOD THE WALL WON'T LET GO OF ME AND IT HURTS WHAT THE FUCK I JUST WANT TO LET GO OF THESE KEYS AND I CAN'T!

[Anonymous No.5489388]

>>5489355
>playing with the vacuum cleaner, sucking up scraps of paper
>no filter in the vacuum, so after sucking shit up i connect the hose to the output and shoot it back out
>the bathtub is full of water for my bath in the near future
>oh fuck i have a great idea
>i'll suck up the water and then i'll have a water cannon
>start sucking, goes well for about ten seconds
>suddenly there's a loud bang and the lights go out
>mfw

[Anonymous No.5489389]

>Be about 4-5
>playing gameboy
>Battery goes out no more play
>"hey if batteries are energy, and so is light.."
>energy transfer physics at age 4
>shabby.jpg
>put gameboy on work lamp for a few hours
>Gameboy ruined
>battrries still dead
>MFW
It was a good reasoning..

[Anonymous No.5489417]

>>5487873
I would love to watch a sketch about this

[Anonymous No.5489441]

bump

[Anonymous No.5489442]

>>5487916

So what career do you hope Calvin goes into when he grows up?

[Anonymous No.5489457]

>Be kid
>See that medicine always usually has loads of "ingredients"
>See scientists on TV mixing chemicals all the time
>Reason that the more ingredients something has, the more effective/powerful it is
>Mix 4 different toothpastes, water and 2 different mouthwashes for ultimate cleansing solution.
>Nothing bad happened
>Nothing good happened
I know, boring as hell.

[Anonymous No.5489466]

This made me think a lot as a kid
>Be like 9
>Be in the car playing with a ball
>Realize that when i throw the ball in the air it comes to my hand, same spot, and not to the back of the car, i though that since it's moving, it should have gone to the back.
>Make a physics law: if you throw something in the window of a moving car, it travels with the car.
>Tell a friend my plan
>Me and my friend on each sides of a road, me with a small ball
>Friend places several meters away from my position on the road.
>Wait for a car with two back windows open. Because if i throw a ball in, it will go with the car, and then when passes the other window, get to my friend ahead.
>No car with two windows opened
>Cancell the test

At this point i was 100% sure of my theory
But:

>Wake up a day and think. A car is no much different from a boat.
>If i thre a ball over a boat the ball should not go with the boat, just pass normally straight.
>Think about it all morning
>Come up with the key fact.
>This physics law only applies into closed moving things. Not ones opened as a boat.
>Call it a day.

[Anonymous No.5489467]

>be 6
>eat sausage, 24 hrs later out comes shit
>hmm, thinks i.
>eat shit, thinking out will come sausage
>wait 24 hrs
>just shit comes out tho
>mfw

[Anonymous No.5489477]

>School project
>Can't be about an animal because the last time we did a project everybody did an animal
>"Can we do birds"
>"Sure"
>Aunt is a zoologist and parents are both biologists so I know bullshit about animals when i hear it.
>"But Miss, birds are animals because they can move themselves around and they're not germs" or something like that
>Get told off and punished
>All the kids in my class agree because the teacher is always right.
Also
>Talking with the plebs
>"What's a vegetarian"
>Explain "A vegetarian is somebody who doesn't eat meat"
>"So they only eat chicken?"
>Explain "Chicken is meat"
>Big argument
>They ask the teacher because the teacher is always right
>"Meat comes from cows"
>They rub it in my face by singing "Chicken's not meat"
And that's how I became disillusioned with the education system and society in general.

[Anonymous No.5489482]

>>5489466
smart kid

this is remarkably close to how scientific progress worked for hundreds of years until rigor and method became a thing

[Anonymous No.5489485]

>>5489477
where the fuck do you live, alabama

[Anonymous No.5489486]

>>5489477

watch the documentary "the war on kids"

you can find it on youtube, it basically illustrates exactly what you are talking about

so yeah watch it

[Anonymous No.5489492]

>>5489482
Bawww, thank you. Almost a moth later i remember telling my father my theory and he teached me what inertia was.
>Dissapointed.

[Anonymous No.5489493]

>>5489485
Alabama has a surprisingly competent school curriculum

[Anonymous No.5489498]

>>5489485
Ireland, many of our primary schools are catholic indoctrination camps. 2 years of primary(Middle?) school we wasted preparing for the sacraments of "communion" and "confirmation". So much bullshit it was insane. I didn't encounter algebra until I reached highschool, if I wasn't so naturally gifted in mathematics I would have been fucked.

There's actually a mild shitstorm brewing because we have a somewhat intelligent minister for education who is trying to get our schools out of the clutches of the catholic church. Needless to say, he is painted as an evil atheist waging a war on the poor old catholic church.

[Anonymous No.5489501]

>>5489486
Will do anon, already saved the video ;)

[Anonymous No.5489504]

>be around 8
>experimenting with electricity
>mostly batteries and small light bulbs
>hook a 1,5 V lightbulb to a 4,5V Battery: much brighter
>hook it to a 9V battery next: even brighter

>Pattern detected

>Manage to somehow hook it to an outlet, because 250V = even brighter.
>switch it on
>I AM BECOME DEATH, THE DESTROYER OF WORLDS!!

[Anonymous No.5489505]

>>5489498
It's 3 bong in the morning, what are you doing up

[Anonymous No.5489510]

> friend really likes chickens
> bury chicks to grow a chicken-tree
> hfw nothing happens and he realizes

[Anonymous No.5489514]

>>5489510
>observe that if you bury something small, something big grows
>money doesn't grow on trees
>my bury coins acquire wealth project is doomed
Good thing I didn't consider burying my sister.

[Anonymous No.5489525]

>>5485860
>thinking pepsi tastes better than milk
>amerifat detected

[Anonymous No.5489539]

>>5489457
Reminds me when I bought a bunch of different over the counter drugs and soaps when I was the kid. When the cashier what I was planning on doing I told her "Chemistry!". The manager had taken me to his back office police were called and my parents came in embarrassed. I now realize they all think I was planning on cooking meth.

[Anonymous No.5489592]

>>5489477
I corrected my teacher all the time the first 3 grades but she rolled with it and jokingly told my mom that I spend more time teaching her than the other way around.
Then my family moved to no fun allowed: the town and never saw her again.
;_;

[Anonymous No.5489597]

>>5487787
Holy fuck, I did the same exact thing.
>See mom writing on video cassette tapes
>'Watcha doin', mom?'
>'Recording my shows'
>HOLY SHIT WHAT
>Later, acquire blank video tapes
>Write 'Power Rangers' on them (I fucking loved Power Rangers)
>Inserted them into TV, practically giddy with excitement
>Wait for it
>WAIT FOR IT
>Blue screen, absolutely nothing
>Be depressed for the rest of the day.

[Anonymous No.5489598]

>>5485878
not_sure_if_serious.avi.exe

[Anonymous No.5489606]

>>5489525
>celsius
>amerifat
You've got to be stupider than the average american

[Anonymous No.5489627]

>>5485860
>be 5, wonder what the world would look like if there were no colors not even black

[KKRajputana !KKRajputhA No.5489641]

>be 22
>become really stressed thanks to looming deadline
>wind begins to howl and hail starts
>breathe deeply and calm myself
>wind and hail stop
I wonder if my mood controls the weather, or at least my perception of what's happening outside.

Tell me I'm not the only one who thinks like this occasionally.

[Anonymous No.5489665]

>>5485860
Not science but:
>Be in 4th grade
>A homework about sums and subtractions
>The teacher told us to mark with a X the subtractions that didn't had sense ( we didn't knew negative numbers)
> 5-9
>Oh shit what I do
>Ask dad about it
>Well son, there is this thing called negatives, you reverse the numbers in the subtraction and add a minus
>Ah, it is minus 3
Later my teacher said it was bullshit and I was wrong

[Anonymous No.5489673]

>take the number 119
>break it down 1 + 1 + 9 = 11
>further break it down 1 + 1 = 2

>use that 2 and the first two numbers of 119 (11)
>Combine the first two numbers of 119 with 2 (11 + 2) and use the result (13) for the following
>119 = 9 x 13 + 2

>why +2? because 119 = 1+1+9 = 11 = 1+1 = 2...
>why multiply by 2? because when a number in the 100's has 3 digits, two of which combined make a 10 (in 119 we have such two -> 1+9 which makes 10), that means we must multiply by 2...

If the number has 3 digits, is in the 100's and any combination of two of the component digits doesn't make up to 10, it won't be +2 but the multiplication number following 9x will be downgraded to +1
>110 = 1+1 = 2 but since two of the digits don't add up to a 10 in the full number, it's gonna be 110 = 9 x 12 + 2 (taking the first 2 digits of 110 (11, then +1 cos 2 of the digits don't add up to 10, = 11+1 = 12) so we multiply 9 x (11+1)

I still can't fucking explain why I always gotta explain it with 9 x n though

For 200's 300's and so on, you just add +1 on top "n" in 200 = 9 x n if two of the digits don't add up to 10, and +2 if they do...

I still can't explain this in simple language, figured it out myself...

Also an easier one I had in my dreams:

19x19 = 18x18 + (19 + 19 - 1)

[Anonymous No.5489674]

>>5489665
>needing to ask people to find out about negative numbers
I figured it was like simple finance. If I had to give more than I had then I had negative money, or a debt.

[Anonymous No.5489678]

>>5486142
similar story

>ride in car
>look at cars adjacent to mine
>adjacent cars' wheels are spinning too fast for me to see them move
>assume cars move by sliding on the road

I think I must've cleared up the misconception by the age of 3 or 4.

[Anonymous No.5489681]

>>5489641
I had an experience (1st grade) where I clapped outside and it began to rain.
I clapped again and it stopped.
I swear I did this like 6 or 7 times and every time the rain changed.

I thought for years I could control the weather.

[Anonymous No.5489685]

>>5489681

nah nigga, 2nd grades one story above you were trolling you by squeezing da sponges on your head from the windows :3

[Anonymous No.5489694]

>>5489674
I didn't liked Math at that age hahaha
And my country's education didn't helped too

[Anonymous No.5489705]

>here older brother and father talk out jets and how they go past the speed of sound
>Speed of sound? sound has speed? ohhhh i get it!
>Explain my idea to my little brother while sitting in front of the TV
>He agrees because he is 4 and doesn't understand jack shit
>Blast TV volume
>Guess sound level
>run at maximum speed through living room
>sound gets quieter
>"WE OUT RAN THE SPEED OF SOUND CHRIS, WE DID IT!"
Also
>landing too fast hard hurts legs
>Movies show people dive roll
>Climb small tree in back yard
>jump while trying to roll
>Land on knees
> understand true pain and the force of gravity.

[Anonymous No.5489711]

>>5489665
>5-9
>-3

[Anonymous No.5489717]

>>5489711
Agreed. It's clearly -5.

[Anonymous No.5489735]

>be young like 8 or something, can't remember how old
>have a great debate with my dad about using generators in electric cars for infinite energy
>he tries to make me understand why, but i just call bullshit to his argument
>he ends up just saying "listen, you'll know what i mean when you get older"
Still laugh when I think back about how stupid one were back then. On the other hand, it was because of that, I got really interested in physics at school

[Anonymous No.5489742]

>>5486666
ha.

[Anonymous No.5489792]

>>5489332

Well, the whole point is that that IS what it actually *looks* like.

Also, when I was about 11 or 12, I got a physics set for my birthday. There was a thing in it (can't remember what it was called now.. gyrometer or something) that measured current by having this thing rotate on top of it, with speed proportionate to the current supplied to it. So the more current there was, the faster the thing would spin.

Suffice to say, the 2 volt battery this thing was supposed to be hooked up to was not satisfying me, so I had a brilliant idea. I would get this flimsy piece of plastic spinning real fast...

So I took the two contacts connected to this thing, and decided to insert them into the mains outlet on the wall (Asian-style outlet: only 2 apertures.)

Next thing I know, there's a flash and all the lights in the house go out. Parents had to go and reset the circuit-breaker.

[Anonymous No.5489799]

>>5486736

>live in Eastern Europe
>Coca Cola knock-off cheap as fuck, $1 for 4 liters, kidney-breaker
>mix amateur cola with milk
>enjoy the taste while westernfags are stuck with expensive original shit and can't into plethora of diversity

[Anonymous No.5489819]

>>5487026
I actually touched my foot out which hurt like a bitch. Lost my shoe in the process. I'm surprised I didn't assume space was moving too fast around our car.

[Anonymous No.5489826]

>>5487203
can i fuk u?

[Anonymous No.5489911]

All these stories are incredibly interesting to AI researchers interested in machine learning

[Anonymous No.5489921]

>>5487576
That ass thing made me laugh

[Anonymous No.5489926]

>>5487702
Serious shit right here

[Anonymous No.5489970]

I put Skittles in milk when I was around 8, thinking that it would make this awesome divine ambrosia.

...It didn't quite turn out that way.

[Anonymous No.5490009]

>>5487303
Uh, well, if the water in the bucket were to exit the bucket, what do you think would be there? Nothing, there'd be a vacuum. Gravity isn't powerful enough to create that empty space by pulling the water down.

[Anonymous No.5490019]

>>5489178
lol'd

[Anonymous No.5490024]

>Be sick one day.
>Talk to grandma on phone.
>Being responsible citizen I am,use alcohol to sterilize the shit out of that phone.
>Mom yells at me because buttons are fuzed together.

[Anonymous No.5490140]

>Discover the deliciousness of chocolate milk
>Run out of Hershey's Syrup and can't make anymore
>Come to the realization that it's just a combination of chocolate and milk
>Disappointed when I put a piece of chocolate in milk and nothing happens

[Anonymous No.5490188]

>>5487787
Another:
>Be really young
>Mum was pushing me around in a pram/stroller
>Eating a delicious chocolate bar
>OH SHIT!!
>Chocolate bar falls on the ground
>Pram stops
>Look at the chocolate bar longingly
>"Anon, don't eat food off the ground"
>Pick it up
>Put it on my lap
>Wait 1 second
>Eat it
>Mum gets a little angry and tells me off
>I sit there confused

[Anonymous No.5490207]

milk + pop with phosphoric acid in it = kidney stones (aka calcium phosphate)

[Anonymous No.5490211]

>>5489178

I hope you set up a control group before you performed this experiment, otherwise you'll have to toss out your data and do it again.

[Anonymous No.5490482]

I have some about two different cousins:

Cousin 1:
>Aunt and cousin driving home from school
>"Mom, how do spaceships break through the Earth?"
>wat.jpg
>"You know, when they're going to outer space."
>mfw she thought we lived "inside" the Earth and you need to break through the shell to get to outer space.
>Aunt spends multiple hours trying to correct her


Cousin 2:
>His family is going on vacation
>At airport
>Loading luggage onto conveyor belt
>"How does that thing take our bags all the way to Jamaica?"


>Cousin stubs the toe next to his big toe
>Few hours pass
>Uncle: "Hey [name], how's your toe?"
>"No, it's the one next to my toe."
>mwf he though the only one called "toe" is the big toe

[Anonymous No.5490487]

>>5489505
>remembering that pasta

[Anonymous No.5490494]

>>5490207

calcium oxalate*

wasn't a bad idea, though.

[Anonymous No.5490512]

When I was 5 I used to think that when I walked, the ground beneath me moved but I was static.
HURR DURR

[Anonymous No.5490516]

>Decide to see what happens if you heat up water and keep adding sugar until it's really really thick.
>No idea why to this day.

[Anonymous No.5490527]

>>5490516
That's a super saturated solution, it's also called a simple syrup and used in some variants of mixed drinks (like the long island iced tea). It will have a limit though at which it can't absorb more sugar.

[Anonymous No.5490529]

>>5490527
Yeah. It really wasn't entirely useless to do I guess. I did intend to make it as thick as possible but I lost patience after it absorbed more than I thought possible at the time.

[Anonymous No.5490531]

@ chan archive

let's archive.

[Anonymous No.5490534]

>>5490529
i remember the first time i made caramel, i thought the mixture wasn't viscous enough so I boiled off tonnes of water. I put it on my oats, and then it cooled into solid globs of sugar.

[Anonymous No.5490540]

>>5490534
Oh yeah,I've played around with heating up sugar like I was freebasing crack or something.
It smells good though.

[Anonymous No.5490544]

>>5486626
I have a similar experience.
In my parents old ass grand marquis I dropped a penny into the cigarette lighter slot and it would get jarred around and make sparks and shit as we drove around. It took us months to figure out what was making the weird noise.
Not KID stuff necessarily but my grandmother always acted like a child so bare with me.
>Be visiting borderline blind grandmother.
>She's whining about shit getting stuck in her toaster.
>Go over to toaster,crums all in that toaster.
>Joke with grandma about not using a knife to retrieve broken english muffin.
>Grandma actually said she used the knife to retrieve broken english muffin from toaster.
>MFW

[Anonymous No.5490562]

>>5490140
heat it up next time

[Anonymous No.5490611]

>around 10
>home alone for first time
>hungry
>decide "well, i am old enough to be home alone, i'm probably old enough to make my own food"
>take fishsticks out of the freezer
>turn on stove
>not putting a frying pan
>after some minuttes i think it's got to be hot enough for the sticks now
>"but...how can i be sure if it's hot enough?"
>put my hand on it
>JESUS FUCKING OUCH!
>when mom comes home i try to lie and say i got it when a box of toys fell on my hand

[Anonymous No.5490613]

>be like seven
>fill sink with water
>fuck around with a funnel
>realize that air comes out of the little end when pushing the large end into the water
>conclude that this is how air is made out of water
YSELFY

>be 13
>pray
What the fuck was I thinking?

[Anonymous No.5490615]

>>5490512
i didn't actually think that, but i kept imagining it, i also thought i could feel which way the earth spined when i was dizzy

[Anonymous No.5490619]

>>5485894
>>5486067
whenever the moon was out and i had to get somewhere i imagined that i needed to get there before it.
basically, if the moon already was across the place i needed to get to, it had won

[Anonymous No.5490625]

I used to think my parents knew what I thought.
Once I found out santa wasn't real I actually thought the priest at my parent's church was pulling the same shit to all these other people,tricking them with the jesus bullshit.
I have to admit I feel kind of smart now.

[Anonymous No.5490626]

>>5487881
>Actually being this retarded

[Anonymous No.5490631]

>>5490626
We were all kids once. We were all dumb once.

Hell, we still are extremely dumb. If you think you're some special guy on a pedestal shitposting and bagging other for what they did as kids, you really need to start scrutinising how much you think you know.

tl;dr, stop being a dickhead

[Anonymous No.5490640]

Not, me but still
>be with some neighbour i just met
>he's a little older than me
>thinks it's cool to capture wasps and bumblebees
>has a bunch filled in one small container
>asks me to do something i don't remember
>no...
>i'll release my bees on you!
>start running
>look back and see him open one of the containers and direct it at me
>run faster
>look back again
>he's running around surrounded by them
stupid kid

[Anonymous No.5490642]

>>5487811

you sure did

[Anonymous No.5490646]

>>5490631

All my knowledge come from verified scientific studies, I think my knowledge is about as reliable and accurate as it gets.

[Anonymous No.5490649]

>in my country the word for when you get refund for empty bottles sound very similar to "planting"
>pante/plante
>try and bury bottles

[Anonymous No.5490650]

>be four years old
>see tv
>wonder how the images appear on the screen
>great idea
>the pictures are sent frame by frame like a roll of paper through all the electrical wires leading to the tv

Yeah that's tottaly how it works.

[Anonymous No.5490652]

>>5490642
Shit, i AM a wizard

[Anonymous No.5490656]

there's a commercial (not in english) that's very relevant here
>4 year old sitting on a treebranch with a bed sheet
>"meydey meydey, calling all patrols! pilot 7 is about to crash, i will have to jump out and use my parachute"
>he lifts the bed sheet higher up
>wind takes it and it blows away
>"oh no...what do i do now?"
>zoom out, he's three feet above the ground
>"do i have to sit here the entire eternity?"

[Anonymous No.5490663]

>>5487264
HAHAHA

[Anonymous No.5490670]

I see several posts here about stuff that's common child logic, so i wanna know, what things did you guys figure out solemnly by thinking (as a kid) that you later found out was fact

as an example, i figured that if the tv shows "traveled" through a cable that was hooked up to another cable that went a long distance to where it originated it would take time to reach the TV, therefore, a longer cable/distance meant you'd get stuff later than others

[Anonymous No.5490680]

>>5489332
That post gave me cancer

[Anonymous No.5490687]

>be 6 or so
>watching tv
>think that when I look at it from an extreme angle, I can see things that are usually out of frame
>you mad tv makers?

[Anonymous No.5490707]

>be 10
>think i can see through objects

turns out it's just that i have two eyes, so one can see things that the other can't.

[Anonymous No.5490722]

>>5485860
>be 6
>visiting family friends at their house
>house is on a hill
>walk up the hill
>come to another driveway just like theirs
>'I've discovered a loop in space'

[Anonymous No.5490726]

>be 6
>visiting family friends at their house
>house is on a hill
>walk up the hill
>come to another driveway just like theirs
>'I've discovered a loop in space'

[Anonymous No.5490730]

>>5487045
i contemplated the color of nothing for many an hour as a child.

[Anonymous No.5490736]

>be 8
>Saw in an encyclopedia that the earth revolves around the sun
>Some random day afterwards I start contemplating about why we have different seasons with different climates / temperatures.
>After a while I developed the idea of an elliptical orbit and how the closer the earth is to the sun (the hot object as I had interpreted it then) the hotter the climate would be.
>I ask my mom&dad for verification.
>mfw they didn't even know.
>mfw when 7 years later in High School physics class, tutor explained that's how things worked.
>mfw when there were people in class who couldn't grasp the concept.

>be 9
>I suggest to myself that perhaps different bodily features represent different psychological traits (e.g. a rather short thumb would mean your compassionate)
>mfw I spend next 2-3 years observing everyone intensely trying to make patterns to verify my theory using everyone I knew.

[Anonymous No.5490744]

>>5487235
Both of those were hilarious.

[Anonymous No.5490828]

>gameboy color has light which dims as battery runs out
>brighter light = more battery
>playing in dark = light looks brighter
>therefore when the batteries were running out i played in the dark

i also though that you should see dead people on clouds because in my language the word for 'heaven' is the same as the word for 'sky' and i literally thought dead people went to live in the sky

at around age 5 i also thought i was omniscient and the son of god. partly explained maybe by my dad living elsewhere.

i also thought things like dying and severe injuries only happened to other people.

[Anonymous No.5490838]

>>5490828
>i also thought things like dying and severe injuries only happened to other people.
But have you proven that you can die yet?
Maybe dying really is something that only happens to other people.
You can't know.

[Anonymous No.5490839]

>>5487555
:( now I want a mini pet cloud

[Anonymous No.5490858]

>>5490736
>After a while I developed the idea of an elliptical orbit and how the closer the earth is to the sun (the hot object as I had interpreted it then) the hotter the climate would be.
>mfw when 7 years later in High School physics class, tutor explained that's how things worked.

But that's wrong.

[Anonymous No.5490862]

>>5490838

this is the point where these questions become purely theoretical and completely useless.

also, my definition of 'other people' was everyone i didn't closely know, so after a few family members died i realized if it could happen to them it must happen to me too.

also, it would really suck if i couldn't die.

[Lizerd No.5490934]

>>5487483
That trick always mesmerized me as a kid. I thought people had a muscle or bone that held on to your thumb and they'd covered up the bone or muscle so you wouldn't be grossed out.

[Anonymous No.5490971]

>>5490640

[Anonymous No.5490978]

>>5490736
>that's how things worked.

no, it's not. yes, the orbit is elliptical, but it's very nearly circular. seasons are caused by differences in the angle of incidence of the sun to the hemispheres in different parts of the orbit (based on the tilted axis of rotation).

[Anonymous No.5491030]

>>5490736
>Some random day afterwards I start contemplating about why we have different seasons with different climates / temperatures.
If the seasons were caused by the distance from the sun, all of Earth - Northern Hemisphare, Equatorial Region, Southern Hemisphere - would have Winter at the same time. Strike up a conversation with a Kenian and an Australian and ask them how they experience December...

Furthermore, the orbit of Earth is not elliptical but perfectly circular - unless you look *really* close. Earth's is about 150 million kilometres away from the sun, and the closest and farthest point just deviate +/- 2% of that (3 million kilometres). In other words, if you draw a circle in the sand, it will be more of an ellipse than the actual orbit of Earth.

[Anonymous No.5491096]

>>5487978
Waldorf salad: Apple, celery, walnuts and mayonnaise. Mum made that too and we always had it for christmas lunch.

[Anonymous No.5491135]

>I'm hungry and mom's gone to bed
>Let's make something tasty!
>Get a pot and wonder what to put in it
>Sugar tastes good!
>So does cinnamon, and salt!
>Just crack an egg into it, and put the lid on and you almost have dinner
>Now stick it in the microwave and wait for food
>OH SHIT THE HANDLE CAUGHT ON FIRE

[Anonymous No.5491143]

>home alone, time for snax!
>fuck yea, there's a chocolate bar in the freezer
>it's frozen
>I'll just microwave it!
>OMG THE FOIL WRAPPER IS BURNING

[Anonymous No.5491154]

>played computer game when i was young
>in my mind the resolution is 1080p
>try game again
>wtf am i looking at?

[Anonymous No.5491162]

>>5485888
He used a Coca Cola glass, of course it won't work.

[Anonymous No.5491173]

>>5490828

Out of curiosity, what language and word is it?

[Anonymous No.5491193]

>>5491173
German possibly. Himmel means sky and heaven I think.

[Anonymous No.5491306]

I used to troll the fuck out of my little brother, telling him that smokestacks are cloud factories, and since we live in WA State we would go to mukilteo (small beach town on east side of puget sound) i would tell him that the islands across the sound were Japan. Also, not greentexting because ipads suck but anyway i once put made a fort when i was 3 and for a skylight i put a clear bowl on top and peed in it, thinking id get yellow light

[Anonymous No.5491317]

When we were around 8 we 'designed' (that is, we draw it on a piece of paper) a car that would get it's power from the wind etc. when the car is moving. When we showed it to adults, they tried explaining why it wouldn't work, but we just didn't get it. We just thought that if you put enough generators there it would generate enough power to move.

[Anonymous No.5491425]

>be 6
>know that babies are made by a mother and a father, needing a bit of both
>think that kissing and exchanging saliva is how women are fertilized, but that you'd have to kiss multiple times at different occasions for the female body to verify that the saliva donor in fact is someone who will be together with the woman for a long time.

[Anonymous No.5491433]

>>5490649
>>pante/plante
norwayfag?

[Anonymous No.5491522]

>>5491193
Also Spanish. Cielo is heaven and sky too.

[Anonymous No.5491621]

>>5491317
Why didn't you just put a sail on the car?

[Anonymous No.5491629]

>>5491621

[Anonymous No.5491725]

>>5491433
yes

[Anonymous No.5492020]

>>5490687
I did this too.
>Be about 5
>Watching the AFL Grand Final on TV
>(I'm Australian)
>Half-time entertainment
>Kylie Minogue is performing in a mini-skirt
>Try to look under her skirt
>Get on the floor
>Place my head down on the ground
>Look up at the T.V.
>Damn!
>Still can't see what's under her skirt

[Anonymous No.5492183]

>>5487898
>never tried to work things out for yourself
>relied on everyone to explain everything to you
That's like playing a video game by following the walkthrough word for word. Sometimes you've gotta try and figure it out for yourself. If you get it right you feel like an insta-genius, if not, you try to figure out why not and you develop logical reasoning skills.
>and you have funny as fuck stories to tell

[Anonymous No.5492195]

>>5489498
>dat feel when irish
>whole country so retarded get 25 more points for honours maths
>those 25 points get me into my course

[Anonymous No.5492200]

>>5489505
>3 bong
>dat copypasta

[Anonymous No.5492232]

>>5486859
SAME

[Anonymous No.5492451]

> wonder where the wind comes from
> see how flapping stuff makes wind
> see big trees move and think that their leaves must make a lot of wind when they flap
> conclude that trees make the wind when they move

[Anonymous No.5492732]

>>5491173
>>5491193
>>5491522

actually, i was meaning finnish. it seems like this is a pretty common thing, however.

fun fact of another way the language can affect kids: finnish language has only gender-neutral pronouns, and as a result it takes longer for finnish kids to realize their own gender and some other related stuff compared to e.g english-speaking kids.

[Anonymous No.5492758]

>>5491135
>microwave
>metal
shiggy diggy

[Anonymous No.5492760]

>>5491154
I remember when medal of honour 2 had the best graphics ever.

Do you think games will ever have better graphics than real life and we'll need to link the computer to our brain becuz our eyes are too shit?

[Anonymous No.5493637]

>>5492760
Nope, because our brain isn't wired to perceive anything more real than what our senses can give us.

[Anonymous No.5493782]

>>5492200
What's this 3 bong copypasta? Google tells me nothing.

[Anonymous No.5493831]

>>5491317
There was a research panel to which some politicians could ask questions regarding energy. One politician atually suggested this exact thing.
They tried to explain, but he kept insisting that they didn't understand how fucking great this idea was.

Luckily, he was ridiculed by the rest of the audience, followed by the rest of sweden once it got up on youtube. This is why STEM should be a prerequisit for any politician.