ITT science and maths jokes sciencey/mathsy pick up lines also appreciated getting an obvious one out of the way >a neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink, he asks how much that will cost and the barman says "for you no charge"

File: 29 KB, 960x720, Slide1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:38:57 2012 No.5174308 [Reply] [Original]

ITT science and maths jokes
sciencey/mathsy pick up lines also appreciated

getting an obvious one out of the way

>a neutron walks into a bar and orders a drink, he asks how much that will cost and the barman says "for you no charge"

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:41:42 2012 No.5174311 Two hydrogen atoms walk into a bar. One says, “I think I’ve lost an electron.” The other says, “Are you sure?” The first replies, “Yes.”

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:43:11 2012 No.5174315 Which theorem was found to be equivalent to the Banach-Tarski paradox? The Banach Banach-Tarski Tarski paradox.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:43:41 2012 No.5174316 Being about science does not make a dumb joke less dumb.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:44:11 2012 No.5174319 >>5174311 >oh you.jpg a cloud of radon gas floats into a bar, the barman shouts "get out we dont serve noble gases here" radon doesnt react, then it kills everyone in the room

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:45:26 2012 No.5174322 >>5174311 shouldn't that be, ''Yes, I'm positive?''

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:45:42 2012 No.5174323 hey baby what's your sine? it must be pi/2 cause you are the one

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:46:41 2012 No.5174325

An architect, an artist and an engineer were discussing whether it was better to spend time with the wife or a mistress. The architect said he enjoyed time with his wife, building a solid foundation for an enduring relationship. The artist said he enjoyed time with his mistress, because of the passion and mystery he found there. The engineer said, "I like both." "Both?" Engineer: "Yeah. If you have a wife and a mistress, they will each assume you are spending time with the other woman, and you can go and suck some cocks." Then he fapped and came on the architect's face, who slurped the cum in delight.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:47:41 2012 No.5174332 File: 18 KB, 452x339, Thats-the-joke.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5174322

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:49:11 2012 No.5174333

>>5174322
>>5174322
No you idiot. Hurr durr positivity. Its much funnier if the joke reveals that the two atoms just talk like normal. Example:

Two muffins are in an oven. The first one says "wow its hot in here" the second one says "holy shit a talking muffin!"

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:52:26 2012 No.5174337 Einstein, hide and seek, pascal, etc.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 15:53:11 2012 No.5174338 >>5174332 Alright, to redeem myself: A bioinformatician walks into a bar. The bartender asks, “GATCGCATCAATAAA?” The bioinformatician replies, “I’m going to need a translation.”

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:09:56 2012 No.5174371

classic

A biologist, a mathematician, and an engineer watch as a man and woman walk into a building. A few minutes later, The man and woman walk out with a child.

The biologist says "They reproduced". The mathematician says "Now if on of them goes back in, there will be zero people in the building". The engineer proceeds to rip open both the mathematician and biologists pants.
He then grabs both of their cocks, stroking them vigorously until they finish.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:15:56 2012 No.5174395 >>5174371 This was quite funny, actually. (Engineer)

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:22:12 2012 No.5174418 File: 818 B, 122x36, gi.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] pic related

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:23:11 2012 No.5174424 >>5174371 Is there a legit ending to that, so I could tell it in a g-rated environment?

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:23:26 2012 No.5174425 >>5174418 shit just got real

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:24:41 2012 No.5174430 File: 3 KB, 209x215, 1307289313955.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5174425 Shit was always real.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:24:41 2012 No.5174431

>>5174424
a biologist, engineer and mathematician were having coffee on the patio across the street they watch as two people walk into a house. a few minutes later, three people leave the house. they start to discuss how that could happen
biologist: the two people copulated, reproduced and three people leave the house
engineer: that’s wrong, our initial observation must have been erroneous.
mathematician: you’re both wrong. if another person enters the house it will be empty again

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:26:41 2012 No.5174440 >>5174418 stay casual <span class="math">\left \langle shit \| shit \right \rangle[/spoiler]

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:30:14 2012 No.5174454 >>5174325 >>5174311 >>5174371 lel more of these plz

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:31:41 2012 No.5174458

Einstein, Pascal, and Newton are playing hide and go seek. Einstein is counting while Newton and Pascal hide. Pascal runs off and hides while Newton doesn’t move an inch. Instead, he draws a square around himself in the dirt. After Einstein finishes counting, he opens his eyes and says, “Found you Newton! That was easy.”
Newton says, “No you didn’t. You found Pascal.” He points down to the square in the dirt. “One Newton per meter squared.”

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:32:41 2012 No.5174464

A programmer, a physicist, a geoscientist and a biologist arguing about which of their profession is the oldest.

The biologist: "It is written that God created all the plants and animals. Therefore the oldest profession is Biologist!"

The geoscientist: "No, way! Before he created life, he made the Earth. Therefore the oldest profession is geoscientist."

The physicist: "You are both wrong! In the beginning God created light. Therefore the oldest profession is physicist."

The programmer: "In the beginning, there was chaos... what you guys think that came from?"

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:35:11 2012 No.5174473 How many mathematicians does it take to replace a lightbulb? None, it has been left to the reader as an exercise.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:36:56 2012 No.5174474

A physics professor and his assistant are working on liberating negatively-charged hydroxyl ions, when all of a sudden, the assistant says, "Wait, professor, what if the salicylic acids do not accept the hydroxyl ions?" And the professor responds, "That's no hydroxyl ion; that's my wife!"

Good ol dexters lab, and wherever it first came from as well.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:38:56 2012 No.5174484 What's the contour integral around Western Europe? Zero, because all the Poles are in Eastern Europe! Actually, there are some Poles in Western Europe, but they are removable.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:39:26 2012 No.5174492 >>5174473 nice one

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:40:11 2012 No.5174494 >>5174315 Better this way: What's a valid anagram of "Banach-Tarski"? . . . . --> Banach-Tarski Banach-Tarski.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:40:41 2012 No.5174497 >>5174473 >>5174464 don't get these >>5174474 lol'd

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:44:42 2012 No.5174519 Why is the Higgs Boson also called the God Particle? . . . Because without it, no Mass.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:48:12 2012 No.5174530
File: 4 KB, 238x250, 1349862735715.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>What do you get if you cross a mountain climber with a mosquito?

Nothing, you can’t cross a scalar with a vector.
====================
<div class="math">
\\
Ham\;Sandwich > Nothing
\\
\\
Nothing > Life
\\
\\
\therefore\;Ham\;Sandwich > Life
\\
Q.E.D </div>

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:50:42 2012 No.5174540 File: 1.57 MB, 193x135, 3azvL.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] <div class="math"> Ham\;Sandwich > Nothing \\ \\ Nothing > Life \\ \\ \therefore\;Ham\;Sandwich > Life \\ Q.E.D </div>

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:52:11 2012 No.5174545 <div class="math">Ham\;Sandwich > Nothing Nothing > Life \therefore\;Ham\;Sandwich > Life Q.E.D </div>

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:53:12 2012 No.5174548 <div class="math">Ham\;Sandwich > Nothing Nothing > Life \therefore Ham Sandwich > Life Q.E.D </div> Last attempt.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:54:41 2012 No.5174554 >>5174548 >>5174545 >>5174540 >>5174530 http://samples.geekality.net/latex/

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:58:12 2012 No.5174568

Proposition: A crocodile is longer than wide.

Proof in two steps.

Step 1: A crocodile is longer than it's green.

Proof: Consider a crocodile. It is long along its upper and lower side but green only along its upper side. Thus a crocodile is longer than it's green.

Step 2: A crocodile is greener than it's wide.

Proof: Consider a crocodile: It is green along its length and width but wide only along its width. Thus a crocodile is greener than it's wide.

Steps 1 and 2 taken together yield: A crocodile is longer than it's wide.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 16:58:56 2012 No.5174572 >>5174554 I've been using docs too much recently and forgot this page doesn't need the spacing. <div class="math">Ham Sandwich > Nothing Nothing > Life Therefore Ham Sandwich > Life Q.E.D </div>

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:19:56 2012 No.5174652 >>5174568 You haven't proved transitivity yet.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:32:26 2012 No.5174695

"A Boy and His Frog"

A boy was crossing a road one day when a frog called out to him and said, "If you kiss me, I'll turn into a beautiful princess." He bent over, picked up the frog and put it in his pocket. The frog spoke up again and said, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a beautiful princess, I will stay with you for one week." The boy took the frog out of his pocket, smiled at it and returned it to his pocket. The frog then cried out, "If you kiss me and turn me back into a princess, I'll stay with you and do ANYTHING you want." Again the boy took the frog out, smiled at it and put it back into his pocket. Finally, the frog asked, "What is the matter? I've told you I'm a beautiful princess, that I'll stay with you for a week and do anything you want. Why won't you kiss me?" The boy said, "Look I'm an engineer. I'm not interested in girls, I'm gay; but a talking frog is cool." Then he pulled out his cock and started masturbating.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:32:56 2012 No.5174694

An infinite number of mathematicians, a polar bear, helium, and a neutrino walk into a bar (ouch). One of the mathematicians then says, "the bar is now empty" and they begin to play hide and seek. The neutrino is then stopped by a police officer. Officer Heisenberg says, "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" The neutrino replies, "I'm positive and a pascal but I don't know where I am." The bar tender then says "You're all idiots, the cows are all black" and pours 10 (in base 2, i mean 10) drinks and there is an extra dollar. The polar bear then dissolves in water while the helium does not react.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:33:26 2012 No.5174701

A mathematician, a physicist, an engineer and a biologist walk into a bar. They all order a beer, then the engineer starts drinking. His mates look at his glass:

The biologist says: "Your glass is half empty."

The physicist replies: "It's rather 60% empty..."

The mathematician says: "Well all we can say is that it's not completely empty and not completely full."

The engineer says: "I love cocks" then proceeds to pull out his dick and stick it up the biologist's ass. The biologist, startled, unzips his pants and punches the mathematician in the face. The mathematician falls over and the physicist profits from it, unzipping his pants too and sucking the mathematician's cock. The bartender's like: "What the fuck" but then the engineer grabs his pants too and puts his left hand on the bartender's crotch while his right hand fondles the biologist's balls. The biologist starts moaning while being fucked in the ass. Meanwhile, the mathematician regains consciousness and looks at the physicist busy sucking his rock hard dick. Since it feels good, he shouts "EJACULATIONS!" in a very high pitched voice. Meanwhile, the bartender is being aroused by the engineer's hand and pulls out his massive cock. The engineer then gives him a glorious handjob. Then everybody comes at the same time, the biologist cries: "I'm your bitch, fuck me, fuck me!" The physicist is being annoyed by all this noise and starts biting the mathematician dick and shaking his mouth. Eventually the severed part sails off in an arc. The engineering promptly cums, then looks at the mathematician and says: "What a shame. You'll never be an engineer".

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:33:56 2012 No.5174700

The graduate with a Science degree asks, "Why does it work?"
The graduate with an Accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"
The graduate with a Liberal Arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"
The graduate with an Engineering degree asks, "How can I suck it?"

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:34:26 2012 No.5174709

A cop pulled over a photon speeding down the highway.

"Do you have any idea how fast you were going?" the cop screamed.

The photon said "fuck you," shot the cop in the face, and sped off.

Then a passing engineer stopped and sucked the dead cop's rock hard dick while masturbating himself to orgasm.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:34:56 2012 No.5174705

An biologist, a mathematician and a physicist walk in a bar. The bartender says that he will ask a question to everyone and if someone says the right answer they'll have a beer for free. He ask the mathematician "2+2 = 4?" The mathematician answers of course 4 . Then he asks the same question to the physicist and he answers 4 too. Then the engineer pulls out his dick.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:35:26 2012 No.5174713

A graduate engineering student who used to come to the university on foot every day arrives one day on a fancy new bicycle.
"Where did you get the bike from?" his exclusively male friends want to know.
"It's a `thank you' present", he explains, "from that freshman girl I've been tutoring. But the story is kind of weird..."
"Tell us!"
"Well", he starts, "yesterday she called me on the phone and told me that she had passed her materials science final and that she wanted to drop by to thank me in person. As usual, she arrived at my place riding her bicycle. But when I had let her in, she suddenly took all her clothes off, lay down on my bed, smiled at me, and said: `You can take from me whatever you desire!'"
One of his friends remarks: "You made a really smart choice when you took the bicycle."
"Yeah", another friend adds, "just imagine how fucking retarded you would have looked in a girl's clothes - and they wouldn't have fit you anyway!"

Then they all sucked one another's cock.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:35:56 2012 No.5174711

It was career day at Bobby's school and the children had been listening to some of the parents with boring jobs talk about what they do. They had heard a supermarket manager, a bank clerk, and a carpenter. The teacher knew that the pupils would lose interest unless she saved the more interesting careers for last, so the last three speakers were a policeman, a doctor and a mechanical engineer.

The policeman was really popular. He brought handcuffs, batons and other items that the kids could pass around. He even shows them how he arrests people by calling a volunteer to the front of the room. Almost everyone raised their hand.

The doctor brought a stethoscope, a sphygmomanometer and some other equipment. He talked about how he helps patients and he measures some of the pupils blood pressure. He too was really popular.

When Bobby's dad, the mechanical engineer, finally got up in front of the class, he opened up a case that he had with him and took out a very complicated device. It was mostly made of metal and it had gears all over the place. He plugging in a little motor and connected it to the machine an different parts started to rotate and oscillate. The children were complete amazing and Bobby looked proud. One of the pupils, Dan, raised his han... wait, that's not what happened. The engineer pulled out a big rubber dildo and shoved it up his arse and said that he does that all day. The doctor understood but the cop arrested him for indecent exposure. Now Bobby's dad gets to be an engineer in the prison shower.

You know, because engineers are gay, right?

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:36:41 2012 No.5174717

An engineer, a programmer, and a manager are driving along a road when the car veers off and down a hill. The engineer says "lets open up the hood to see what went wrong" the manager asks "are you sure it wasn't you" and the programmer suggests "lets roll it back up the hill and see if it crashes again". they all then proceeded to have sex in the car

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:36:57 2012 No.5174716

Five surgeons were taking a coffee break and discussing their work.

The first said, "I think accountants are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is numbered." The second said, "I think librarians are the easiest to operate on. You open them up and everything inside is in alphabetical order." The Third said, "I like to operate on electricians. You open them up and everything inside is color-coded." The fourth one said, "I like to operate on lawyers. They're heartless, spineless, gutless, and their heads and their butts are interchangeable." Fifth surgeon said, "I like Engineers...they always suck my cock when I'm done"

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:37:12 2012 No.5174718

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."

"Hey George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "I like cock"

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:37:41 2012 No.5174719

A mathematician, a physicist, a biologist and an engineer observe 2 men enter a house, then 3 people leaving

Biologist: They must have reproduced
Physicist: There must have been a preliminary error in our counting
Mathematician: If one more person enters the house, it will become empty
Engineer: Oh boy, first two, NOW 3 COCKS TO SUCK

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:38:11 2012 No.5174722

A physicist, a biologist and a mathmatician are sitting in a coffee shop across the road from a house. After a short time two people go into the house, a little while later three people come out of the house.

The biologist says: "They must have reproduced"
The physicist says: "Our measurements must have been wrong"
The mathematician says "If one more person goes into the house, it will be empty"
The Barista says "can you please tell the engineers to stop sucking dick, its disturbing the other customers"

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:38:41 2012 No.5174723

An infinite number of mathematicians, a polar bear, helium, and a neutrino walk into a bar (ouch). One of the mathematicians then says, "the bar is now empty" and they begin to play hide and seek. The neutrino is then stopped by a police officer. Officer Heisenberg says, "Do you know how fast you were going back there?" The neutrino replies, "I'm positive and a pascal but I don't know where I am." The bar tender then says "You're all idiots, the cows are all black" and pours 10 (in base 2, i mean 10) drinks and there is an extra dollar. The polar bear then dissolves in water while the helium does not react.

Then the engineer sucks a horse's cock.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:39:26 2012 No.5174728

A mathematician, a physicist, a biologist, and an engineer were all given a red rubber ball and told to find the volume.

The mathematician carefully measured the diameter and evaluated a triple integral.

The physicist filled a beaker with water, put the ball in the water, and measured the total displacement.

The biologist exclaimed that math is for low-functioning circle-jerking autists and proceeded to lodge the ball into a nucleic acid extractor.

The engineer tried to look up the model and serial numbers, but couldn't find them. Instead, he browsed /hm/ for thirty minutes so he could get another hour in on he time sheet and then told his manager that it's just not going to work. The engineer then grabbed his manager's cock and began rustling it around until he was bitch slapped and thrown in prison.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:39:56 2012 No.5174731

A pastor, a doctor and an engineer were waiting one morning for a particularly slow group of golfers.

The engineer fumed, "What's with these guys? We must have been waiting for 15 minutes!"

The doctor chimed in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such ineptitude!"

The pastor said, "Hey, here comes the greenskeeper. Let's have a word with him."

"Hey George. Say, what's with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow, aren't they?"

The greenskeeper replied, "Oh, yes, that's a group of blind firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last year, so we always let them play for free anytime."

The group was silent for a moment.

The pastor said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special prayer for them tonight."

The doctor said, "Good idea. And I'm going to contact my ophthalmologist buddy and see if there's anything he can do for them."

The engineer said, "And I'll suck their cocks when they least expect it, because I'm gay."

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:40:26 2012 No.5174734

A mathematician, a physicist, a chemist, a biologist, a computer scientist, a philosopher, a liberal arts major and an engineer have been asked the following question: "Are all odd numbers prime?"

The mathematician says: "Trivial."
The physicist says: "Well 3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, let's disregard 9 as an experimental error, 11 is prime, 13 is prime, well yes, they're all prime."
The chemist says: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 9 is prime, 11 is prime, 13 is prime... yes, they're all prime."
The biologist says: "3 is prime, 5 is prime so yes, they're all prime."
The computer scientist says: "3 is prime, 5 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime, 7 is prime..."
The philosopher says: "No because 2 is even and prime."
The liberal arts major says: "Math is tough! Would you like fries with that?"
The engineer says: "I love cocks."

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:41:26 2012 No.5174742

During the French Revolution, three professionals were arrested and convicted of having bourgeois values. They were a doctor, a lawyer, and an engineer. They were to be led to the guillotine one by one. The crowd was roaring with anticipated pleasure. First up was the doctor. How dare he enrich himself through other people's illnesses? The doctor was placed in the guillotine, and the lanyard was yanked. The blade started on its massive, implacable way down. And lurched to a stop. The official in charge declared that it would be inhumane to make the doctor suffer this way more than once, so he was setting the doctor free. The crowd howled. The executioner checked his equipment. All was in order. He put a small tree branch in, and successfully lopped it in half. He re-sharpened the blade. Next up was the lawyer. Who needs an excuse to wish such a lying, cheating scoundrel dead? The lawyer was placed in the guillotine, and the lanyard was yanked. Again, the blade stopped part-way down! The presiding official once again said that he would set this prisoner free because of the unusual circumstances. The crowd screamed in frustration. Now came the engineer, a man whose innovations and devices were costing jobs. The crowd fell silent. The executioner checked and re-checked his equipment.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:41:56 2012 No.5174735

A mathematician, a physicist and an engineer walk into a bar. They each order their drinks and then the engineer heads for the toilets. The mathematician and the physicist begin a discussion about the mathematical nature of the universe. The drinks arrive a few minutes later. After a while the physicist and the mathematician begin to wonder what's taking the engineer so long. Almost immediately, the barman walks past them escorting the engineer out of the establishment. When the barman comes back, they ask him what happened. He explains that this is the third time he's had to throw out the engineer for soliciting gay sex in a toilet stall, then hangs up a new sign banning engineers from the bar. It's funny because it's making fun of engineers. Well, no it's not. It's just fucking stupid. Wtf are you still reading this shit? Stop tapping my foot. I'm not a fucking engineer. wtfamireading.jpg

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:42:42 2012 No.5174746

An engineer was the only guy surviving a plane crash. He was surviving in the jungle and trying to make signalling devices when suddenly a hostile native tribe showed up around the plane wreck. The engineer was well hidden but the chief suddenly pulled out a massive dildo out of his backpack and the engineer couldn't help but hold his breath. Of course everyone heard it and the natives caught him, tied him to a pole and brought sacrificial instruments. The engineer was yelling at them to stop but they wouldn't listen. Eventually the chief walked over him and said: "You're a noisy faggot."
"Wait, you can't kill me", the engineer said.
"Why wouldn't I kill a faggot like you?"
"Because this is an engineer joke. We're in a shitty /sci/ thread attempting to force an over used meme about homosexual engineers. This story is supposed to end with gay sex, not death."
"Hmmm... you're right. But you know what? First, I used to be an engineer before hanging around in the jungle, as this huge dildo can attest. Second, I'm into necrophilia."
Then the chief killed the engineer and sodomized his corpse.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:42:56 2012 No.5174744

>>5174742
As the engineer was marched up to the guillotine, he looked carefully at it, and said, "Wait. I see your problem...." He fell on his knees and suddenly grabbed the executioner's crotch who let out a moan of pleasure. The crowd watched the engineer unzip the executioner's pants and pull out his massive balls, amazed. The official in charge had trouble hiding his huge boner and started yelling more and more loudly. Finally the crowd was aroused too and the cock licking sound was hidden by the giant buzz of a thousand pants unzipping and dicks being pulled out and flogged. Eventually the engineer deepthroated the executioner's cock and many people in the crowd came, drowning the guillotine in a pool of semen.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:47:11 2012 No.5174754 /sci/ - engineers that suck cocks.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:49:26 2012 No.5174761 File: 40 KB, 800x804, DIDN'T EVEN READ LMFAO.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>5174484 AHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAHHAHAHAHAH > Actually, there are some Poles in Western Europe, but they are removable.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:54:12 2012 No.5174777

The difference between managers and engineers;

A man in a hot air balloon realised he was lost. He reduced altitude and spotted a man below. He descended a bit more and shouted, "Excuse me, can you help me? I promised a friend I would meet him an hour ago, but I don't know where I am."

The man below replied, "You're in a hot air balloon hovering approximately 30 feet above the ground. You're between 40 and 41 degrees north latitude and between 59 and 60 degrees west longitude."

"You must be an engineer," said the balloonist.

"I am," replied the man, "How did you know?"

"Well," answered the balloonist, "everything you told me is, technically correct, but I've no idea what to make of your information, and the fact is I'm still lost. Frankly, you've not been much help at all. If anything, you've delayed my trip."

The man below responded, "You must be in Senior Management."

"I am," replied the balloonist, "but how did you know?"

"Well," said the man, "you don't know where you are or where you're going. You have risen to where you are due to a large quantity of hot air. You made a promise, which you've no idea how to keep, and you expect people beneath you to solve your problems. The fact is you are in exactly the same position you were in before we met, but now, somehow, it's my fault."

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 17:59:56 2012 No.5174792 good thread is

>>	not op Sat Oct 20 18:01:57 2012 No.5174803 >>5174694 yo dawg

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 18:17:11 2012 No.5174834 Guys, I don't want want to be an engineer anymore.

Anonymous Sat Oct 20 18:43:56 2012 No.5174919

>>5174701
A mathematician, a physicist, an engineer and a biologist walk into a bar. They all order a beer, then the engineer starts drinking. His mates look at his glass:

The biologist says: "Your glass is half empty."

The physicist replies: "It's rather 60% empty..."

The mathematician says: "Well all we can say is that it's not completely empty and not complet..."

The mathematician is suddenly interrupted by muffled shatter and a cry of pain. During the discussion, the engineer had been inserting all sort of objects through his anus. Unfortunately, the biologist's glass had given in to the pressure and broken, causing him to bleed profusely.

>>	Anonymous Sat Oct 20 18:47:26 2012 No.5174938 File: 159 KB, 760x596, sciencevsengineering.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] The root of all the engineer hate.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 01:24:56 2012 No.5176018 >>5174834 time to get out of the closet

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 01:42:56 2012 No.5176053 Hey, know any good jokes about Sodium? Na.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 02:27:13 2012 No.5176146 A neutrino goes into a bar. An event of such a small scale goes by largely unnoticed.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 08:52:44 2012 No.5176716 I have a truly marvellous math joke, which this margin is too narrow to contain.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 08:54:43 2012 No.5176719 >>5174938 i don't get it

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 09:06:59 2012 No.5176730 >>5176719 It's rare to see a female in an engineering class, thus everybody calls engineers gay because NO GIRLS ALLOWED LOL.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 09:07:14 2012 No.5176731 >>5174746 slowclap.jpg

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 09:16:13 2012 No.5176738 >>5174424 you're part of the problem with this board.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 09:18:44 2012 No.5176743 >>5174497 >>>5174473 >>>5174464 >don't get these that's because you have no academic background beyond "liking" the "I fucking love science" page on facebook.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 09:24:43 2012 No.5176752 >>5176730 i was referring to the pic. especially first panel don't know this comic/manga

>>	d d Sun Oct 21 20:34:05 2012 No.5178641 >>5174709 this lol

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 23:32:20 2012 No.5179056 There are only 10 kinds of people. Those who understand binary notation, those who don't, and eight others.

Anonymous Sun Oct 21 23:48:20 2012 No.5179080

Ok everybody, here is a math joke.

It is the night of the last Thursday in November on the most recent leap year to the time this was written. A tax attorney, a professor, and a guitarist from an avant-garde jazz group walk into a local karaoke bar. The tax attorney then points out that all three of them are wearing the same color tie.
The punchline of this joke is trivial, and has been left to the reader as an exercise.

>>	Anonymous Sun Oct 21 23:59:05 2012 No.5179097 >>5176716 i get it

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 22 00:04:04 2012 No.5179103 What's the difference between a mathematician and a physicist? A physicist only needs paper, pencil, and a trash bin for his work, and a mathematician can do without the trash bin.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 22 00:10:49 2012 No.5179118 >omg my le nerd cultur xD It's times like this where I wish that I became a classics major or something. I don't want to be associated with you autistic fucks.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 22 00:11:20 2012 No.5179121 >>5174519 But that's wrong

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 22 00:15:19 2012 No.5179128 >>5179103 when i heard this it was math and philosophy and only math needed the trash bin

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 22 00:15:49 2012 No.5179127 >>5179118 >hating jokes >hating fun >being this buttmad who's autistic

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 22 00:20:34 2012 No.5179143 >>5179127 No other intellectual pursuit is filled to the brim with people that feel the need to make banal jokes. These are no better than internet memes.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 22 01:44:42 2012 No.5179295 >>5174325 That wasn't funny at all.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 22 02:03:56 2012 No.5179326 Hey guys if a bear in utah and a bear in alaska jump into a lake at the same time which one dissolves first the one in alaska because he's a POLAR bear olo

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 22 02:27:12 2012 No.5179353 >>5179295 Buttdevestated(in more then one way) engineer detected.

>>	Anonymous Mon Oct 22 02:28:56 2012 No.5179360 The bartender says "we don't serve your kind here." A tachyon walks into a bar.

Advanced search
Text to find
Subject [?]Search by post subject. Leave empty for any.
Username [?]Search for user name. Leave empty for any user name.
Tripcode [?]Search for tripcode. Leave empty for any.
Email [?]Search by email. Leave empty for any.
Filename [?]Search by image filename. Leave empty for any.
From Date [?]Enter what date to start searching from. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
To Date [?]Enter what date to start searching until. Format is YYYY-MM-DD
Image hash
Search in	All Posts OPs Only
Deleted posts	Show all posts Show only deleted posts Only show non-deleted posts
Internal posts	Show all posts Show only internal posts Show only archived posts
Order	New posts first Old posts first
Capcode	All Posts Only by Users Only by Mods Only by Admins Only by Developers
Results	Posts Threads
Action	[ Simple ]

/sci/ - Science & Math