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/sci/ - Science & Math

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Anonymous Mon Jul 30 05:37:44 2012 No.4916499 [Reply] [Original]

Sci-humour thread.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 06:10:58 2012 No.4916532 File: 30 KB, 355x342, 1326892551092.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] I guess..

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 06:26:13 2012 No.4916551 File: 12 KB, 251x251, sun.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 06:35:58 2012 No.4916561 waiter i'll have a glass of hydrogen peroxide

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 06:36:43 2012 No.4916564 >>4916561 "I'll have a glass of H20" "Ill have a glass of H20 too!" the second man dies.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 06:36:58 2012 No.4916562 >>4916532 yeah, well YO mommas so fat, the escape velocity at her surface exceeds 3x10^8m/s

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 06:40:59 2012 No.4916571 Why does white bear dissolve in water? Because he is polar

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 06:44:43 2012 No.4916574 biology

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 12:18:43 2012 No.4917136 >>4916574 my sides

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 12:27:13 2012 No.4917151 dihydrogen monoxide is the most dangerous substance on Earth.

>>	Carl !!dFf2PUolAtC Mon Jul 30 12:31:43 2012 No.4917155 File: 19 KB, 225x307, carl_planet_soc.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] What do you do with a dead chemist? Barium

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 12:40:29 2012 No.4917165 To get to the other side!

Anonymous Mon Jul 30 12:42:43 2012 No.4917168 [DELETED]

>>4916499
A guy walks into a bar. The waiter says, can i take your order? the guy says, i'll have whatever the guy who comes in after me is having. so the waiter says ok, and they both wait for sonmeone to enter the bar. the next guy who comes is the king, who promptly orders the death of everyone in the bar.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 12:44:43 2012 No.4917171 Two atoms walk down the street. One says to the other, "Oh no! I think I lost an electron!" The other asks, "Are you sure?" "I'm positive!" rimshot

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 12:47:43 2012 No.4917176 Why did the tachyon cross the road?

Carl !!dFf2PUolAtC Mon Jul 30 12:47:58 2012 No.4917175
File: 45 KB, 461x352, saganfish.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

A farmer decides to build a new enclosure for his livestock turns to his friends - a physicist, an engineer, and a mathematician - for help designing it.

The physicist scratches down some equations on a sheet of paper and after a few moments declares, "You should build a circular pen, that will give you the largest area given a limited amount of fencing!"

"No hold on," says the engineer. He takes a few minutes to survey the farmer's land and after scratching down some sketches and crunching some numbers declares, "A rectangular pen will make the most efficient use of the existing fences and buildings!"

The physicist and engineer debate for some time and their collaboration eventually produces the most efficient design for the fence. They shake hands and start helping the farmer build the enclosure.

The mathematician, meanwhile, takes four pieces of fencing and builds a tiny pen around himself. He smiles, smugly, before triumphantly stating, "Eureka! I define myself to be outside the pen!"

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 12:50:44 2012 No.4917178 >>4917176 To get to the other side.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 12:52:43 2012 No.4917180 >>4917178 >missed the fucking joke >>4917165 >>4917176

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 12:59:28 2012 No.4917187 >>4917180 >fucking >is upset Hahaha, you mad brah

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:01:13 2012 No.4917189 >>4917180 he mad

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:01:44 2012 No.4917190 >>4917180 Why so mad?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:05:13 2012 No.4917199 >>4917180 Bro, you're mad as fuck. Calm down.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:05:28 2012 No.4917200 >>4917180 mad brah?

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:06:59 2012 No.4917203 >>4917180 Relax bro it's just a joke.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:08:58 2012 No.4917206 >>4917180 on a scale of 1 to mad, you mad as hell bro

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:09:13 2012 No.4917209 File: 11 KB, 397x316, PicardDoubleFacepalm-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4917187 >>4917189 >>4917190 >>4917199 >>4917200 >>4917203

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:10:13 2012 No.4917212 File: 29 KB, 464x332, you-mad-bro-he-mad-son.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4917180

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:13:14 2012 No.4917220 >>4917180 There is no need to be upset.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:14:14 2012 No.4917226 >>4917187 >>4917189 >>4917190 >>4917199 >>4917200 >>4917203 >>4917206 >>4917212 We get it, you're hilarious.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:15:43 2012 No.4917232 >A helium molecule walks into a bar >"How much for a scotch?" >the bartender replies, "For you? No charge".

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:16:28 2012 No.4917235 >>4917232 OH WOW, LOOKS LIKE WE HAVE A FUCKING COMEDIAN HERE. YOU THINK YOU'RE FUNNY PUNK??

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:16:58 2012 No.4917233 >>4917226 We get it, you're mad.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:17:58 2012 No.4917238 A neutron walks into a church. The bartender says we don't serve FTL particles here. The neutron says without me you have no mass.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:19:29 2012 No.4917247 >>4917235 You see, because Helium is a noble gas.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:23:58 2012 No.4917255 >>4917238 this one doesnt even make sense

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 13:32:58 2012 No.4917268 >>4917255 nuetrons are FTL and give particals mass

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 14:04:13 2012 No.4917302 >>4917238 What kind of church has a bar? I wanna join that sect

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 14:42:58 2012 No.4917402 >>4917238 what you did just there was blend 3 different jokes together in some horrible abortion of comedy which is no longer comprehensible to any sentient being i fucking hate you

Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:00:28 2012 No.4917464

A biologist, a mathematician, and an engineer watch as a man and woman walk into a building. A few minutes later, The man and woman walk out with a child.

The biologist says "They reproduced". The mathematician says "Now if on of them goes back in, there will be zero people in the building". The engineer proceeds to rip open both the mathematician and biologists pants.
He then grabs both of their cocks, stroking them vigorously until they finish.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:04:44 2012 No.4917477 >>4917464 wat

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:09:59 2012 No.4917488 A philosopher, a scientists, and a christian are about to walk into a building. The philosopher just infront of the building mumbling to himself. The scientists went inside the building. The christian followed the scientists into the building.

Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:17:58 2012 No.4917518
File: 10 KB, 445x482, 1313104882973.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]

Two engineering students meet on campus one day. The first engineer calls out to the other, "Hey, nice bike! Where did you get it?" "Well'" replies the other, "I was walking to class the other day when this pretty, young co-ed rides up on this bike. She jumps off, takes off all her clothes and says, "You can have ANYTHING you want." "Good choice," says the first, "Her clothes wouldn't have fit you anyway!"

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:21:44 2012 No.4917528 >>4917518 I lol'd

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:25:58 2012 No.4917534 >>4917518 this one was actually pretty clever.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:26:28 2012 No.4917538 >>4917175 >>4917518 Marvelous

>>	Carl Mon Jul 30 15:29:13 2012 No.4917544 >>4917518 That joke is old as fuck.

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:32:13 2012 No.4917554 >>4917544 To someone as young as you, EVERY joke is old as fuck.

>>	Carl Mon Jul 30 15:33:28 2012 No.4917557 File: 52 KB, 500x500, spurdo-implying.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] >>4917554 Are you projecting, summerfriend?

Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:39:28 2012 No.4917576

An astronomer, a physicist and a mathematician were holidaying in Scotland. Glancing from a train window, they observed a black sheep in the middle of a field.

"How interesting," observed the astronomer, "all Scottish sheep are black!"

To which the physicist responded, "No, no! Some Scottish sheep are black!"

The mathematician intoned, "In Scotland there exists at least one field, containing at least one sheep, at least one side of which is black."

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:45:13 2012 No.4917597 >somebody dies in a car accident >natural selection at work here boys >ahahahaha >clapping occurs

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:48:29 2012 No.4917611 >>4917576 >implyign scotland exists

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 15:56:28 2012 No.4917640 File: 140 KB, 406x480, bredt_milk.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google] le butthurt thread

>>	Anonymous Mon Jul 30 20:15:13 2012 No.4918445 >>4917640 >infantile cartoon enjoy the ban

>>	Consilium !!FLBIcqqP/39 Mon Jul 30 20:15:58 2012 No.4918443 I wanted to make a chemistry joke... >but all the good ones argon.

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