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2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/sci/ - Science & Math

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4834488 No.4834488 [Reply] [Original]

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "Do you want fries with that?"

>ITT: Moar jokes.

>> No.4834499

Jokes, you say?

>Females in science

>> No.4834517
File: 67 KB, 432x288, 1313354496254.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4834517

Two engineering students were walking across a university campus when one
said, Where did you get such a great bike?" The second engineer replied,
"Well, I was walking along yesterday, minding my own business, when a
beautiful woman rode up on this bike, threw it to the ground, took off all
her clothes and said, "Take what you want." The second engineer nodded
approvingly and said, "Good choice; the clothes probably wouldn't have
fitted you anyway."

>> No.4834529

>>4834517
A passing computer science student took the clothes

>> No.4834544
File: 54 KB, 600x600, 1324344430425.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4834544

A biologist, a mathematician, and an engineer watch as a man and woman walk into a building. A few minutes later, The man and woman walk out with a child.

The biologist says "They reproduced". The mathematician says "Now if one of them goes back in, there will be zero people in the building". The engineer proceeds to rip open both the mathematician and biologists pants. He then grabs both of their cocks, stroking them vigorously until they finish.

>> No.4834591
File: 134 KB, 413x395, 1326013781788.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4834591

A priest, a doctor, and an engineer were waiting one morning for a
particularly slow group of golfers. The engineer fumed, "What's with those
blokes? We must have been waiting for fifteen minutes!" The doctor chimed
in, "I don't know, but I've never seen such inept golf!" The priest said,
"Here comes the greens keeper. Let's have a word with him." He said, "Hello,
George! what's wrong with that group ahead of us? They're rather slow,
aren't they?" The greens keeper replied, "Oh, yes. That's a group of blind
firefighters. They lost their sight saving our clubhouse from a fire last
year, so we always let them play for free anytime." The group fell silent
for a moment. The priest said, "That's so sad. I think I will say a special
prayer for them tonight." The doctor said, "Good idea. I'm going to contact
my ophthalmologist colleague and see if there's anything he can do for
them." The engineer said, "Why can't they play at night?"

>> No.4834653

There were two people deciding what to study at university. One was good at mathematics and was told that he could earn a lot of money doing it, but he hated mathematics and loved poetry. He was convinced by others that money should be his only goal, so did mathematics.

The other was interested in poetry, and knew that they couldn't earn very much from doing that for a living. However, it was their passion.

The one that studied physics died rich but unhappy, always longing to fulfil his dreams. The other had a fulfilling life of genuine happiness, writing and reading poetry.

That's the joke.

>> No.4834680

>>4834653

You forgot the part where the other guy spent his life making other people coffee or bagging their groceries.

>> No.4834670

student with art degree is dumb and poor. people with other degree (probably the one I got) are smart and have 300,000 startings alary. i'm doing RIGHT?

>> No.4834703

A man graduated with a degree in Women Studies and tried to find employment afterwards.

Fin.

>> No.4834711

>>4834670
>>4834680

lol so defensive... calm down fellas, i assure you we all think science is cool now, everyone's looking up to you, good work etc.

>> No.4834915
File: 49 KB, 470x428, 1294683649543.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4834915

What is the difference between mechanical engineers and civil engineers?
Mechanical engineers build weapons and civil engineers build targets.

>> No.4835115

>biology

>> No.4835130

>>4834544
I don't get it.

>> No.4835135

>>4835130
2-3=-1
if one goes back -1+1=0

>> No.4835148

a /sci/ poster finds a gf

>> No.4835183

>>4835130
Because "engineer" is actually latin for "cocksucking faggot."

>> No.4835225

More bad jokes

A priest walks up to a mathematician.
"Sir, you can't smoke here"
"Why not? The sign says no smoking and drinking"

>> No.4835243

>>4835183
>>4834544
I am not amused.

Engineers are important people too.

We're just more famous.

>> No.4835256

>>4835225
Uh, is that an "and" joke? Wouldn't that be more of a compsci joke?

Logic gates?

>> No.4835268

>>4835256
There's logic operations in math too.
If, iff, or, and - that's all used, especially in proofs.

>> No.4835274

>>4835268
Ah, yes. I don't see it often in problems. Just proofs, which I skip over sometimes.

>> No.4835275

How do you tell if a computer scientist is an extrovert?

They look at YOUR shoes when they talk to you.

>> No.4835298

>>4835275
[spoiler]Kinda hard to find an extrovert version

>> No.4835307

>>4835298
Wow, I forgot this was /sci/

>> No.4835305

Good thread chaps

>> No.4835347

My daughter used to wear the shortest skirts and lowest tops known to mankind. I told her time and again what was eventually going to happen to her if she went out dressed like that but she wouldn't listen. Then one day, sure enough, the worst happened. I tried to console her, she was such a mess. I knew I'd been right all along, but I didn't want to rub it in her face. I just came on her tits instead.

>> No.4835401

Why is it that that's how much it costs?

>Math
>300k starting
>Any job I want

>> No.4835405

>>4835401
>Any job I want
>Your job is math

You do have to like math.

>> No.4835406

Why and How are the same question.

>> No.4835458

>>4834653
What confuses me is why couldn't a physicist write poetry in his free time.

>> No.4835479

>>4834653
Confuses me why nither of them could get a hobby. Or how the poetry could die happy when starving.

>> No.4835705

A tachyon leaves. The bartender says"we don't serve your kind here." A tachyon walks into a bar.

>> No.4835700
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4835700

>>4835347
so he was actually warning her that he was going to rape her? i am amused

>> No.4836090

The graduate with a science degree asks, "Why does it work?"

The graduate with an engineering degree asks, "How does it work?"

The graduate with an accounting degree asks, "How much will it cost?"

The graduate with an arts degree asks, "How much 10/10 pussy im going to get tonite while sciencefags masturbate alone?"

>> No.4836416

>>4836090
The girls reply, "None."

>> No.4836470

>>4836090
mfw 47 year old male fine arts major with several other degrees on my wall

>> No.4836485

/lit/ here.

I work as an adult educator and teach the illiterate how to read and write, and do some copywriting here and there. You spend billions of dollars on intangible proof for a hole in an equation.

That's the joke.

>> No.4836503
File: 49 KB, 500x601, Dr._Einstein_1921-Schmutzer.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4836503

>>4836090
Things you can do with 10/10 pussy: Put your dick in it.
Things you can do with science: Go to the moon, build cars, build skyscrapers, refrigerate food, cure disease, explore the universe, predict the weather, find out what things are made of, find out how to make things, grow food, create pigments, build musical instruments, build acoustic concert hall, preserve historic artwork, and discover a deeper meaning to life and existance itself.

>> No.4836514

>>4836503
>Things scientists do:
Share all that shit with the rest of us who reap the benefits while putting our dicks in dat 10/10 pussy

Chumps.

>> No.4836515

"So does anyone have any jokes about Sodium?"

...Na.

>> No.4836518

Everybody is asked how often do you get girls?

The graduate with a science degree answers, "I'm a virgin :("

The graduate with an engineering degree answers, "I'm gay."

The graduate with an accounting degree answers, "Does a $1000 hooker count?"

The graduate with an arts degree answers, "mad pussy all day err day"

>> No.4836521

>>4836515
Fuck, not even 100 posts in and we are down to elemental puns.

Thread is over, it was good while it lasted. Night, chaps.

>> No.4836525

An infinite number of mathematicians walk into a bar. The first one orders a beer. The second orders half a beer. The third, a quarter of a beer. The bartender says, "You're all idiots," and pours two beers

>> No.4836528

My life is a joke

>> No.4836537

A string theorist walks through a bar. Somewhere, he says ouch.

>> No.4836560

>>4835256
"I can cast out either one of your demons, but not both of them." — the XORcist.

>> No.4836598

>>4836521
all the good jokes...argon

i'm so nerrdy XdXD

>> No.4836603

>>4836514
Scientists and Mathematicians who will be remembered for eternity : Einstein, Laplace, Fourier, Newton, Descartes, Leibniz, Euler, Gauss, Bohr, oh god why can't I hold all these names ?
People who will be remembered for putting dicks in girls : Casanova, Rocco Siffredi.

>> No.4836620

>>4835256
Logic and plays on words existed way before CS, yo. The fuck are you smoking.

>> No.4836658

An engineer, a mathematician and a physicist have the task of building the smallest fence possible around a bunch of sheep.

The physicist carefully measures the smallest concave contour around the flock and proceeds to build a nice fence.

The engineer first imagines a circular fence with an infinite radius which he then shrinks to encompass all the sheep. Then he proceeds to build a circular fence that has the smallest possible radius to still hold all of the sheep.

The mathematician simply builds a very small fence around himself and states: "I declare myself to be on the outside of the fence."

>> No.4836667

>>4836603
>implying artsfags can even attract 10/10 pussy with 2/10 knowledge, salary, and intellect.

>> No.4836666

The square of i.

Shit just got real.

>> No.4836673

>>4836603
Too bad they're not here to experience the reps they got.

>> No.4836676

>>4836666
nice quads

>> No.4836701

Is accounting science?

>> No.4836715

>>4836701
Don't think so. Then again, I also think maths isn't science, since it's based on pure theory instead of experiments and observation.

>> No.4836719

>>4836715

We observe how we're making 300k starting.

>> No.4836781
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4836781

>10/10 pussy
>300k starting

It doesn't matter what you major in, your are still a bunch of fat neckbeards browsing 4chan.

>> No.4836791

>>4836781
But dude, we're talking about pussy the same way the jocks used to back in high school, we're way cooler than that pic of Dexter!