[ 3 / biz / cgl / ck / diy / fa / ic / jp / lit / sci / vr / vt ] [ index / top / reports ] [ become a patron ] [ status ]
2023-11: Warosu is now out of extended maintenance.

/sci/ - Science & Math

View post   
File: 95 KB, 400x349, 210-ancient-aliens-im-not-saying-it-was-aliens-but-it-was-aliens.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4308131 No.4308131 [Reply] [Original]

>>You suddenly hear a noise
>>You go into your back garden
>>You see a unknown spacecraft
>>It opens
>>An Alien appears
>>Whats the first thing you do/say

Go.

>> No.4308136

>>4308131
I was sold some good shit.

>> No.4308138

I tell them to better believe in SCIENCE or get the fuck out.

>> No.4308140
File: 269 KB, 856x2193, 1298005166394.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4308140

>> No.4308142

Also who would you actually call first? police?, government? would they think you are a prank caller

Give me details people, interested in how people would react

>> No.4308147

id say
"yo"

>> No.4308149

>>4308140

OP, not read this but i can see its gonna be a good read, ty dude.

>> No.4308155

>>4308140

This sort of assumes that aliens wouldn't analyze the planet from orbit. If they're recognizably "life forms", they'd probably recognize us as life forms and study us long before contact.

>> No.4308158

Even a simple thing as waving would be useless right? cause they might not understand a wave (sounds so stupid but you get what i mean)

>> No.4308177

>>4308131
But that isn't going to happen

>> No.4308183

i'd try and communicate with the alien. i wouldn't call anyone because i don't know anyone and i certainly wouldn't call the government or any services because what the hell would they do? they'd probably end up ruining it all.

>> No.4308184

>>4308140
Basically this. Though it assumes a lot about the aliens' intentions.

>> No.4308194

>>4308140


What if they land in the the garden of somebody from /b/
and Anon runs out naked trying to cum on them?

>> No.4308209

>>4308140

Anymore of this?

>> No.4308216

>>4308194
Thank you for that visual.

>> No.4308219

>>4308131
>Alien
Why is 'alien' spelled with an initial capital?

>> No.4308222

run back inside to grab a biopsy needle.

>> No.4308228

>>4308219

Because i typed it, i wanted it to have a capital, i just really really wanted a capital on the Alien so i did it, i went all out.

problem?

>> No.4308233

>>4308216

But it could be true dude, 2012, thats how it could end, somebody cums on an alien, the billions of years of evolution and refining of nature just ends, ends because somebody got naked and bust nut all over a alien that came to earth.

>> No.4308237

Oh

>> No.4308246

I would have liked to type something cool to show how intelligent I am, but actually, I would shit in my pants and run the fuck away and never look back.
I remember one night, a few years ago when I was still living in my parents' place in the countryside. I was going to go to bed around 3 AM when, looking through the window, I saw big lights gathering in the fields, heard huge noises and saw figures wandering around. I guess I haven ever been as afraid in my whole life than that one moment. I hid like a little girl in my bedroom...
It actually was a farmer with a combine haverster who wanted to reach his field before dawn, and who had a problem so he called some friends who brought their tractors.

>> No.4308248

>>4308237
This

>> No.4308253

I need to show this to my (black) friend, because I know exactly what he would say if he saw aliens:

"What math are you taking?"

>> No.4308255

Id pretend that sucking my dick is how humans greet.
So then i end up getting blowjobs from the whole alien group ( they wouldn't want to be rude, so they would just do it)

Now image that going down in history.

>>Earth - troll of the whole universe

>> No.4308256

Imagine*

Typo

>> No.4308258

>>4308255
Suuuure... have aliens slobber unidentified chemicals ALL over your dick. Genius. You should totally do it. Maybe you'll be poisoned by their arsenic-based saliva and die a horrible death.

>> No.4308262

OP here
would you try offer them food? drink? its sounds strange, but i think in the heat of the moment if i had a drink in my hand id try offer it them. Would it be a good idea?

>> No.4308263

>>4308140
>HOLD THE @!&#$ STILL
>The aliens will be quite used to things flailing like crazy and trying to get away. They'll most likely have picked up a fish or a bird and watched as it flapped like an idiot until it died. They know this is what non self-aware organisms do. Holding still is the first thing you need to do to show them we're worth our weight in crap.

stopped reading there

Ignoring the fact that aliens with space-travel technology would have already observed us from orbit, this would only fucking apply if they landed on some fucking drunk naked aboriginal out in the middle of the outback with no signs of anything man-made in sight, and even then they would probably wonder how stupid a creature must be if it sees a fucking space ship land near it and it just stands there gaping at it like a moron.

>> No.4308266

i dont have a garden op. retarded question

>> No.4308268

>>4308194

>What if they land in the the garden of somebody from /b/
then we are doomed as a race.

>> No.4308272

>>4308219
>
>Why is 'alien' spelled with an initial capital?

I guess you could argue it as a title, in the right context.

>> No.4308277

I know math/science is a good way to talk/contact an alien race, but would they also understand music? musical notes?

>> No.4308282

I'd be embarrassed as a human being by the shitstorm religious people would create.

>> No.4308286

>>4308131

I say

>kill justin bieber and give us back Jim Morisen plz xoxoxo

>> No.4309706
File: 418 KB, 597x720, asset.JPG?id=1000000471&ext.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4309706

I won't say a word. I would comely but surly walk my ass back inside. Sit down and think about wtf just happen. Then scream and run back out there. To see if what ever it is is okay. I'll have a gun just in case.

>> No.4309730

I Google image search some microbes, print them out, and show it to them while pointing and laughing.

>> No.4309737
File: 20 KB, 444x319, commissar.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4309737

IN THE NAME OF THE GOD EMPEROR OF MANKIND, I SENTENCE YOU TO DEATH, FILTHY XENOS!

>> No.4309741

I'ed put a bananas up my ass! :D

>> No.4309790
File: 157 KB, 639x457, space.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4309790

Any species that would have mastered the technical hurdles behind interstellar travel and navigation would see us as a disease at best, a food source at worst.

They'd probably just put a mass cannon in our asteroid belt and pelt us with rocks until we were unable to resist anymore. Then colonize.

>> No.4309835

>>4309737

Winner in my book.

>> No.4309862
File: 7 KB, 274x184, myfuckingfacerightnow.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4309862

"I challenge you to a rap battle."

>> No.4309871

>>4309862
Fucking lolz

>> No.4309882

>>4308266
Op's probably British, in which case he's talking about what you would call a backyard.

>> No.4309979
File: 1.73 MB, 400x225, 1319306615031.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4309979

>ship lands
okay anon like you rehearsed and keep it casual
>door opens
greetings and welc...
If the laws of the universe are kind, they will never be found. But I must tell my son what I saw or thought I saw, and let him use his judgment as a psychologist in gauging the reality of my experience, and communicating this account to others.

I have said that the awful truth behind my tortured years of dreaming hinges absolutely upon the actuality of what I thought I saw in those Cyclopean, buried ruins. It has been hard for me, literally, to set down that crucial revelation, though no reader can have failed to guess it. Of course, it lay in that book within the metal case - the case which I pried out of its lair amidst the dust of a million centuries.

>> No.4309985

>>4309979
shitty spoilerless board

>> No.4310012

>kneel
>offer them my aid in the war against the humans

>> No.4310014

To myself: "Well, no matter how this is gonna pan out, it's bound to be interesting."
To them: "Hi, can you understand our language? Welcome!"

>> No.4310016

>>4309985

<div class="math"> noob </div>

>> No.4310018

Fuck

>> No.4310019

>>4308131
>Smoke this.

>> No.4310023
File: 67 KB, 250x300, eisenhower.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4310023

"Have you accepted Jesus Christ?"
True story, pic related.

>> No.4310044
File: 46 KB, 331x500, sarah-palin-bikini-1.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4310044

Get. Off. My. Lawn.

>> No.4310046

I probably wouldnt say anything but listen, and possibly hold my hand out. Obviously they would know of humans and probably have their own plans for contact and I'd simply try to facilitate that as best as I could.

And you wont like this but if we actually had a conversation, one of the first things I would ask them would be about their understanding of the origin of the universe. And if their answer was spiritual I would still encourage a detailed explanation.

>> No.4310078
File: 1.75 MB, 800x5000, first contact.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4310078

Hey /sci/, I drew something for you!

It's what I'd do had them aliens landed on my lawn.

>> No.4310093

Well, it's about fucking time you got here. Fermi paradox and all that shit.

>> No.4310098

I'd rape the alien

>> No.4310114
File: 116 KB, 624x509, WAT.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
4310114

Act like I'm civilized and try to convince them that I'm somewhat intelligent.
Show him some signs of math assuming it is universal.

>implying they want to make contact with one individual specifically
>implying I'm the chosen one

>> No.4310781

pythagorean theorem so it knows we're at least developed enough to know math exists