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/sci/ - Science & Math

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3894949 No.3894949 [Reply] [Original]

Month One: Mommy, I am only 8 inches long, but I have all my organs. I love the sound of your voice. Every time I hear it, I wave my arms and legs. The sound of your heart beat is my favorite lullaby.
Month Two: Mommy, today I learned how to suck my thumb. If you could see me, you could definitely tell that I am a baby. I'm not big enough to survive outside my home though. It is so nice and warm in here.
Month Three: You know what Mommy, I'm a girl!! I hope that makes you happy. I always want you to be happy. I don't like it when you cry. You sound so sad. It makes me sad too, and I cry with you even though you can't hear me.
Month Four: Mommy, my hair is starting to grow. It is very short and fine, but I will have a lot of it. I spend a lot of my time exercising. I can turn my head and curl my fingers and toes, and stretch my arms and legs. I am becoming quite good at it too.
Month Five: You went to the doctor today. Mommy, he lied to you. He said that I'm not a baby. I am a baby Mommy, your baby. I think and feel. Mommy, what's abortion?
Month Six: I can hear that doctor again. I don't like him. He seems cold and heartless. Something is intruding my home. The doctor called it a needle. Mommy what is it? It burns! Please make him stop! I can't get away from it! Mommy!! HELP me!! No...
Month Seven: Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus' arms. He is holding me. He told me about abortion. Why didn't you want me Mommy? We would have been so happy together.

>> No.3894959

>not getting pregnant just for the abortions

ishygddt

>> No.3894966

you missed the abortion thread you dick

>> No.3894981

DAY 1: Mommy, i'm just a sperm who won the race to your egg. It feels warm a cozy inside. I'm masturbating in the egg right now.

DAY 2: Mommy, I've merged with the egg. My brothers and sisters are still banging their heads outside the egg. I would hate to see my siblings die, but there's no other choice.

DAY 3: Mommy, please don't abort me. I want to become a rapist one day.

>> No.3894979

baby forgot to mention the insidious congenital defect that would cause her to lose developmental milestones around age 2-3, producing an individual that would be a horrendous emotional and financial burden on an already overstretched single mom, effectively cancelling the most productive years of the mother's potential career...

>> No.3894984

if mommy didn't abort your ass you would just be another lazy good for nothin beaner. jesus approves of her action

>> No.3894990

>>3894959
If I had a girlfriend I'd make her get an abortion at least once a year, if not more.

>> No.3894994

>>3894990
same dude. sort of want to try to get a girlfriend just so i can make her get abortions lol

>> No.3894995

baby forgot to mention that her father was also the mother's father, and that mommy is only 13.

>> No.3894999

you'll never know what it's like to get a fetus sucked out of you :(. i hate being a man

>> No.3895000

If I was a women I'd have thousands of abortions and keep all the fetuses in a jars, then I'd have a real kid and when ever he messes up or steps out of line I'd show him the room full of fetuses and tell him "I could have aborted your ass just as easily"

>> No.3895005

>implying the baby didn't have down's

>> No.3895009

if i was a girl i'd make the first day of every other month be abortion day! it'd be a great way to relieve stress

>> No.3895017

>>3895005
>aborting babies with downs

hope you don't do this

>> No.3895022

i wish my mom aborted me and i was with jesus now... i wonder if i'd remain a baby forever or if babies grow old in heaven?

>> No.3895027

>>3895022
yfw babies don't go to heaven.
FUCK religion

>> No.3895030

mfw OP thinks month-old embryos are capable of thought.

mfw OP thinks that brain development (and thus personhood) happens at conception.

>> No.3895031

>>3895017
Why not? Did the morality society give you tell you it was wrong? Grow a pair and realize there is no objective morality. All actions are judged by how well they accomplish goals.

>> No.3895036

>>3895031
stop sputtering your atheist propaganda. all babies have souls regardless of whether or not they have downs. they are humans like you and me and deserve to live

>> No.3895037

>>3895027
>>3895022
Unbaptized babies go to Limbo.

>> No.3895039

>>3895017
>aborting babies with downs
I hope you all do this

>> No.3895040

>>3895030
mfw you don't think month-old embryos are capable of thought.

mfw you don't think that brain development (and thus personhood) happens at conception.

>> No.3895050

>>3895041
who said i wouldn't be able to support my baby? you are just trying to avoid the argument. i understand, you are scared of defeat

>> No.3895041

>>3895017
>going on welfare because you can't support your Downs baby

i seriously hope you don't do this

>> No.3895052

mfw OP thinks people are happier after death than alive

mfw said poster doesn't follow his own moral judgement and start a mass euthanasia camp

fucking hell christfags, if you're going to pretend to have divine knowledge at least don't be obvious hypocrites

>> No.3895053

>>3895041
typical atheist logic.

hurr durr i work at starbucks, so no one else can afford caring for their baby

>> No.3895056

9/10 this whole thread

excellent trolling everyone

>> No.3895058
File: 157 KB, 725x816, randy savage rapture.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3895058

>>3895040

>> No.3895059
File: 4 KB, 126x103, trollface.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3895059

>>3895040

0/10, might have worked on /x/

>> No.3895060

This copypasta is like 6 years old.

>> No.3895066

>>3895052
fucking atheistfags always attacking us instead of presenting a logical argument. how fucking cute

>> No.3895069

1. Babies, being free of sin, live with Jesus.
2. As a person grows older, the likelyhood of them falling away from God approaches 1.
3. Logically, it makes sense to abort all babies immediately and kill the human race.

>> No.3895071

>>3895069
+1

>> No.3895075

>>3895053

Given that religious people are statistically more likely to be scared of contraceptives (thus having more unwanted children or abortions), you should probably stop this line of shitposting before you embarrass yourself even more.

>> No.3895076

Jesus did not reveal that the deep-frozen cerebral cortex of the human abortus was subsequently smashed with a hammer to extract & purify its protein & RNA...

>> No.3895082

>>3895075
i had make up statistics too, faggot.
provide citations or gtfo

>> No.3895087

>>3895082
can*

>> No.3895088

>>3895069

>religious person
>>logical

The whole idea of 'faith' as a good thing leads people to just ignore things like that and be happy in ignorance.

>> No.3895092

>>3895088
just like your worship dawkins and read his books and take them literally and apply that thought to your own life? cool logic

>> No.3895103

I read this
Then I lol'd.

>> No.3895105

>>3895103
>he laughs at dead babies

>> No.3895109

>Mommy, I am okay. I am in Jesus' arms.

Bitch, you just got a free fucking ticket to paradise WITHOUT dealing with this shitthole of a planet, or even been giving the CHANCE to sin.

Let me tell you, sinning is pretty fucking tempting.

>> No.3895112

>>3895105

dead baby jokes anyone? ANYONE???

>> No.3895113
File: 270 KB, 576x2665, meatland.gif [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3895113

>>3895092

Never read dawkins, but I'm interested:
Why wouldn't you take a non-fiction book literally?

(assuming the facts and conclusions are all in order of course)

>> No.3895116

L0l

>> No.3895122

>>3895113
the bible is non-fiction so why wouldn't you take it literally?

>> No.3895126

no, /sci/, these are supposed to be jokes about religion and dead babies. get this shit in line

>> No.3895127

>>3895112

What is the difference between a baby and a onion?
No one cries when you chop up the baby.

>> No.3895128

Anyone else interested in why religions with a heaven don't advocate suicide?

Also, I'm a bit hazy on where they're actually supposed to be located, how dead people get there without a functioning brain etc.

>> No.3895131

>>3895128
because suicide is murder?

>> No.3895135

>Anyone else interested in why religions with a heaven don't advocate suicide?

No, because they all pretty much expressly say why.

>> No.3895134

>>3895127

Why do you put babies into blenders feet first?
So you can see the expression on their faces.

>> No.3895139

>>3895122

I'd take the word's literally, I just wouldn't believe them.

>> No.3895142
File: 9 KB, 267x181, 130783643800120110725-22047-1euk606.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3895142

mfw I read this story

>> No.3895144

>>3895134

What do you call two abortions in a bucket?
Blood brothers.

>> No.3895145

>>3895142
i know right.... pooor babby

>> No.3895149

>>3895144

What is red and is creeping up your leg?
An abortion with homesickness.

>> No.3895148

>>3895144
that's terrible lol

>> No.3895147

Hey, religious dudes.
When you die...

nothing happens.
Have a good THE REST OF YOUR LIFE.

>> No.3895151

>>3895135

not really, it's just a baseless post-hoc piece of errata the theologians came up with.

>> No.3895153

sage / reported

>> No.3895152

>>3895147
Hey Atheist dudes,

when you die, you will spend eternity in Hell!

enjoy the rest of your lives!

>> No.3895154

But how come you are self-aware and can speak?
That doesn happen until much later, at least past 3-4 years of age.

>> No.3895156

>>3895153
typical atheist.
can't form an argument so he cries to mommy

>> No.3895159

>>3895154
babies have souls. they can speak but don't know how to do so. it is until interaction that they develop the skills to speak

>> No.3895163

>>3895152 Wanna bet?

>> No.3895167

>>3895159
Oh my....

>> No.3895171

Hey religiousfags:

Check any anatomy diagram. There is no soul.

>> No.3895181

thread is auto-saging.
looks like us christians won this argument once again

>> No.3895183

>>3895122
cuz it's fiction

>> No.3895187

I mean, seriously. Look around you. The universe is fucking huge. You seriously think it was made just for you? That is some real egotistic shit there.

>> No.3895196
File: 246 KB, 578x3689, trollgod trolling.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3895196

problem, poorfags?

god is on the side of people who would be successful without his help

that way he never has to do anything

>> No.3895208

Mods aren't Gods.
Thread with penis on the front page is still alive but this one is being auto-saged.
This discussion will continue later today

>> No.3895214

>>3895196
this looks shopped

>> No.3895216

>>3895208
See here, mentlegen, a faggot