Are there any efforts going on in robotics

[Anonymous No.3633150]

...to build a functioning exoskeleton that permits dolphins to walk on land and manipulate tools designed for humans?

It seems like with the current state of nerve-connected prosthetics, it would be possible.

[Anonymous No.3633156]

Even something like this would be cool.

[Anonymous No.3633161]

Preferably better looking/designed than this.

[Anonymous No.3633172]

[Krakengineer !!5XY+x7grkpt No.3633180]

>>3633150
WTF is up with these two? Did their creators forget Dolphins breathe air not water?

Here's a better design.

[Anonymous No.3633185]

The Navy has a history of outfitting dolphins with things like hydraulic graspers, dart guns and so on for their weaponized marine mammal program. Yes, we have such a thing, look it up. We actually give dolphins guns.

[Anonymous No.3633198]

Here's a military dolphin with a compressed air powered dart gun. They were trained to differentiate between American and Vietnamese divers, to tranquilize the enemy divers (or kill them if the gun misfired) and bring the unconscious/dead bodies back to base.

One such dolphin escaped from a Navy marine mammal center during Hurricane Katrina. It is still unaccounted for.

[Krakengineer !!5XY+x7grkpt No.3633201]

>>3633185 weaponized marine mammal

Did they use more than just Dolphins? Sea lions and manatees perhaps?

[Anonymous No.3633204]

Just wait until the Octopus is able to gain access something like this. No one jar shall remained sealed.

[Anonymous No.3633210]

Here's Tuffy the dolphin, a wild dolphin who befriended the Sealab I crew and was outfitted with various accessories like graspers (pictured) none of which were powered (the technology wasn't there at the time) but rather operated by muscle movements, like WW2 era artificial hook arms.

[Anonymous No.3633220]

>>3633185
Oh boy, aquatoids and gillmen won't stand a chance now.

(I'm actually making this retort as in, WHY.JPG)

[Anonymous No.3633222]

>>3633201

Yes, although in different capacities. Sea Lions are mostly used for tagging mines, while only dolphins have been deemed competent enough to be equipped with weapons. The sea lions are more scatterbrained and tend to see mine tagging as a game, like a dog.

Pic related, one of the classic icon based tests used to demonstrate abstract thought in dolphins.

[Anonymous No.3633231]

>>3633222
I honestly think that the only thing holding Dolphins back from building an underwater empire is their lack of hands and arms. Who knows what those crazy fuckers would do with tools.

[Anonymous No.3633232]

>>3633220

>(I'm actually making this retort as in, WHY.JPG)

How do you think enemy navies conduct covert assaults? Same way we do. Large sub to the coast, minisub to shore, diver team sneaks up the beach. Marine mammals are more agile and capable in the water, and they can be on patrol 24/7 since they live there and dolphins never truly sleep.

[Anonymous No.3633234]

>>3633231

>Who knows what those crazy fuckers would do with tools.

They already use tools, several kinds and for different things.

http://www.wired.com/wiredscience/2011/08/dolphin-fishing/

[Anonymous No.3633239]

>>3633232
So they're going to be a defensive mechanism?
Don't you think this will back fire hard?

Enjoy your extinct sea mammals.

[Anonymous No.3633249]

a segway that has a sack type thing with water spritzers on it. you train the dolphin how to use the segway, and modify the segway for easier dolphin use. then, bam! you have a type of dolphin transport. no bottlenosed or commons though. i only want dusky, and commersons on my land. and certainly no killer whales.

[Anonymous No.3633254]

>>3633239

We've been using them in that capacity since Vietnam. It was the 60s, a lot of crazy shit was tried along those lines; psychic soldiers, dolphin soldiers, remote viewing spies, etc. Once the 60s/70s were over and the top brass came down from their two decade shroom high all those programs which failed to produce results were shut down (see the film "Men who stare at goats") except the few that proved useful, albeit for different reasons than were used to get them funded (i.e. dolphins are not in fact cosmic enlightened beings, but they are highly teachable, they work for mackarel, and they're more at home in water than humans)

[Anonymous No.3633261]

>>3633254
But didn't the man who stare at goats actually kill a goat with his mind?

[Anonymous No.3633263]

>>3633254
I sometimes fish in a lagoon that has several NAvy dolphins in it. They have the tattoo and everything.

[Anonymous No.3633265]

>>3633249

>no bottlenosed or commons though. i only want dusky, and commersons on my land. and certainly no killer whales.

Why no bottlenose? They're the most intelligent species of dolphin so far as we can tell, which is why they're used in all the language studies.

>2011
>Implying bottlenose aren't the master race of dolphins
>ISHYGDDS

[Anonymous No.3633275]

>>3633261

>But didn't the man who stare at goats actually kill a goat with his mind?

One of them had a heart attack coincidentally. That taped event was hyped up and used to sell the program to a sympathetic military that has always been fetishistically interested in exotic weapon possibilities regardless of practically or return on investment (See: Our 5 decade long energy weapons program which is only now starting to produce useful results)

[Anonymous No.3633278]

>>3633265
>2180
>Implying the Your Glorious Highness of Aquatica Lord Spearnose IV isn't the supreme ruler of of Earth

Stupid humans. This is why we keep you in zoos.

[Anonymous No.3633282]

>>3633278
Why haven't you obliterated the Japanese?

And why do you keep getting slaughtered?

[Admiral EEEKEKEKKKEEEEK No.3633287]

>>3633278

Well said, my liege. Shall we deploy the hydrofighters against their last stronghold in antarctica or prolong their suffering further for our own entertainment?

[Anonymous No.3633295]

>>3633287
>Admiral EEEKEKEKKKEEEEK
I laughed.

[Anonymous No.3633293]

>>3633198
>One such dolphin escaped from a Navy marine mammal center during Hurricane Katrina. It is still unaccounted for.

[Anonymous No.3633303]

>>3633282
Japan is just a puppet nation that we have set up to distract the rest of the world from our military activities. The dolphins they eat are simply the Heretics we send to their shores for sympathizing with the Humans.

>>3633287
Set up an Electron Net around the continent to contain any Human vessels. Prepare the Aquacarrier with several hundred Hydrofighters and patrol their waters. Destroy any air transport that tries to make contact with the Rebel groups in South America.

We shall watch as the Humans slowly starve to death.

[Anonymous No.3633304]

>>3633293

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2005/sep/25/usa.theobserver

Holy fuck, it's true.

>It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.
Experts who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.

Not one, but thirty six of them. Socialized, conditioned by humans, intelligent and armed with fucking dart guns. We've educated and armed a species known for teaching others of its own kind.

May god have mercy on us all.

[Anonymous No.3633305]

>>3633303
>We shall watch as the Humans slowly starve to death.
Yeah, the USA would be just fine, your highness.

[Anonymous No.3633308]

>>3633304
I doubt they were actually fitted with their guns at the time.

[Anonymous No.3633309]

>>3633293

http://www.guardian.co.uk/world/2005/sep/25/usa.theobserver

Holy fuck, it's true.

>It may be the oddest tale to emerge from the aftermath of Hurricane Katrina. Armed dolphins, trained by the US military to shoot terrorists and pinpoint spies underwater, may be missing in the Gulf of Mexico.
>Experts who have studied the US navy's cetacean training exercises claim the 36 mammals could be carrying 'toxic dart' guns. Divers and surfers risk attack, they claim, from a species considered to be among the planet's smartest. The US navy admits it has been training dolphins for military purposes, but has refused to confirm that any are missing.

Not one, but thirty six of them. Socialized, conditioned by humans, intelligent and armed with fucking dart guns. We've educated and armed a species known for teaching others of its own kind.

May god have mercy on us all.

[Anonymous No.3633327]

>>3633309

>May god have mercy on us all.
>god

Foolishness like this is why you lost the war.

[Anonymous No.3633336]

Behold, the niggers of the dolphin world.

[Lord Spearnose No.3633338]

>>3633305
Young one, it seems you have forgetten about the Grand Raze of 2167. Did you forget that the former United States and surrounding Countries is nothing more than a scorched wasteland after our initial strike consisting of 8,000 Aquahelios K5 Octobombers? The only substancial amount of wild Humans exist in Antarctica and the small rebel factions on the tip of the former South America.

Admiral EEEKEKEKKKEEEEK! Give me a full report on the status of the Poseidon's Wrath WMD! We may need to use it incase the Humans survive our seige.

And where are my concubines!?

[Anonymous No.3633339]

>>3633336
And groups of young male bottlenose dolphins are known to beat them to death on a regular basis.

[Anonymous No.3633345]

>>3633339
On second thought, that was porpoises and manatees. But they'd probably do river dolphins too if they shared a habitat.

[Anonymous No.3633347]

>>3633338

>Give me a full report on the status of the Poseidon's Wrath WMD! We may need to use it incase the Humans survive our seige.

I doubt it will be necessary. As you can see in this recon photo our rape gangs are operating at 400% the anticipated efficiency.

[Anonymous No.3633350]

If we ever talk to dolphins, they will sound like black people beggin fo fish welfare...

Fish = Dolphin KFC

[Anonymous No.3633359]

>>3633350

>If we ever talk to dolphins, they will sound like black people beggin fo fish welfare...

In captivity, they beg for fish because we teach them to, and it's their sole source of nourishment.

In the wild, they actually assist Brazilian fishermen in catching fish from shore by herding them into the nets. They get a small cut of it in return.

[Lord Spearnose No.3633362]

>>3633347
Very good. Have the Rape Gangs bring the targets back to the Aquacarriers once they have had their fun. We will teach the Humans tricks and put on shows with them for our entertainment.

[Anonymous No.3633363]

>>3633327

>Implying you dont have an equivalent called Cthulhu.
>Implying you can ever hope to compete against us when we have individuals like these (Picture Related)

[Anonymous No.3633366]

Brushie brushie brushie. :3

[Anonymous No.3633373]

>>3633366
Awesome.

[Anonymous No.3633376]

>>3633363

The genetic predisposition towards sociopathy is one of the leading theories as to why homo sapiens is the only surviving hominid. We casually exterminated every other hominid species on the planet as we moved from continent to continent, like spraying an apartment for roaches before you move in. We're seriously a pretty messed up species.

[Anonymous No.3633382]

>>3633363
>>3633366
Dem digits.

[Lord Spearnose No.3633393]

>>3633363
Cthulu is the head of Psychic Technologies and Warfare Operations. He is no god. You pathetic Homo-sapiens are unable to grasp even our complex society.

How does it feel? How does it feel knowing that your species is on the verge of extinction, only being saved for our amusement as we toss Hamburgers and Pizza slices into your filthy enclosures. Pathetic land dwellers.

[Anonymous No.3633476]

>>3633393

This sounds like it would make an amazing RTS.

[Anonymous No.3633537]

>>3633376
>We're seriously a pretty messed up species.
However, you should note the very fact that you are saying this, and are an example of the species.

[Anonymous No.3633587]

>>3633476

Someone already made an anime like this.

[Anonymous No.3633634]

>>3633265
you see what you did? by that single post, you altered toe course of reality. if we had maybe trained dusky, or commersons dolphins, maybe there wouldnt have been an uprising! way to go, asshole!

[Anonymous No.3633653]

>>3633634

>Implying my glorious dolphin masters won't reward me handsomely for my role in their rise to power

>Implying they won't build me a biotech dolphin exoskeleton so I can live among them

>Implying they won't give me my choice of female prisoners of war

[Admiral EEEKEKEKKKEEEEK No.3633662]

>>3633653

>>Implying they won't give me my choice of female prisoners of war

Sure, when we're done with 'em.

[Anonymous No.3633672]

>>3633393
Fuck this, I'm calling BP.
Operation Sea Blanket is going live.

[Anonymous No.3633694]

>>3633662

>Implying we haven't already built dolphin exoskeletons that fool your terrible eyesight and infiltrated your highest ranks

[Anonymous No.3633704]

>>3633694

THE GRAND CONSULATE SHALL HEAR OF THIS

[Anonymous No.3633729]

Hands are one thing: a squirrel has pretty good hands.
The neurology to control them is something else. thats a big chunk of human grey matter that is needed to solve all those puzzles so quickly.
They would never juggle, never bowl a 200, probably never even be able to tie a bow. (not without working as a team and reading their notes anyway).
Making a paper airplane or good stone hatchet is out of the question.

They do the fuck out of some music, I say give them the tools they want and can use.

[Anonymous No.3633770]

Dumping babby dawrfeens. :3 :3 :3

[Anonymous No.3633776]

[Anonymous No.3633780]

[Anonymous No.3633785]

[Anonymous No.3633786]

[Anonymous No.3633798]

[Anonymous No.3633805]

They have permanent :3 faces

[Admiral EEEKEKEKKKEEEEK No.3633843]

>>3633770
>>3633776
>>3633780
>>3633785
>>3633786
>>3633798
>>3633805

So now you've resorted to kidnapping our children and making CP? Vile, dastardly apes!!

[Anonymous No.3633847]

Don't help the dolphins let them evolve on their own, no one helped me

[Anonymous No.3633848]

>>3633843
I thought they already mate with their own young. So much more advanced than human beings ;-;.

[Anonymous No.3633878]

>>3633843
If you keep calling us apes, we're going to start calling you undulates. That's what you are. You're descended from a deer-like creature.

[Anonymous No.3633884]

>>3633848

[Admiral EEEKEKEKKKEEEEK No.3633890]

>>3633878

I believe you mean 'ungulate', ape. It must be difficult to master even your own pitifully limited low frequency caveman language with such a comparatively tiny brain.

[Anonymous No.3633902]

>>3633890
shudup fish.

[Admiral EEEKEKEKKKEEEEK No.3633945]

>>3633902

Come into the water and say that. I'll EEEKclickEEK your clickclickEEEKclick.

[Anonymous No.3633970]

>>3633945
il gauge your eyes out with my thumbs then rip your jaw off fish! bring it!

[Anonymous No.3633987]

>>3633945
Sorry, rushed post. You got my meaning.

I do get in the water. I regularly scuba dive and I do it with sharks. They seem like pretty cool guys and they don't afraid of anything. At least we respect their cartilaginous asses, unlike you. We lock you things up in parks to do tricks for fat people and children. At least sharks get quiet dignity when we lock them up.

[Anonymous No.3633999]

>>3633150

so they can rape creatures on land? Cool idea!

[Admiral EEEKEKEKKKEEEEK No.3634013]

>>3633987

We don't even have to steal your women, they come to us. Ten inches of prehensile dick will do that. I can feel your anger and jealousy from here.

[Anonymous No.3634060]

>>3634013
we will never be in a world where a dolphin will actually right this as a retort

sadfrog.jpeg

[Admiral EEEKEKEKKKEEEEK No.3634076]

>>3634060

We will never live in a world where bipedal monkeybrains know how to spell 'write'.

sadsquid.jpg

[Anonymous No.3634089]

>>3634076
thats wright!!

[Anonymous No.3634096]

>>3634089
No. This is right
<-------------------------

[Anonymous No.3634098]

>>3634076
wait, wouldnt it be sad tadpole? because they are in the water, and on land. the frog goes on land, and the tadpole goes in the ocean. it would be sad tadpole.jpg.

[Anonymous No.3634110]

>>3634098

>Implying there are saltwater tadpoles

[Anonymous No.3634126]

>>3634110
yes there are. they are in your sperm. unless you eat a lot of mangoes, then you have sugar water tadpoles. but still a little bit of salt water.

[Anonymous No.3634131]

doesnt anyone want to try and put the effort into training dolphins to use segways? im sure it would pay itself off in the longrun.

[Anonymous No.3634132]

>>3634126

So wait, if I jizz in a pond, they will eventually become white frogs?

Sounds legit

[Anonymous No.3634168]

>>3634132
dont knock it til you've tried it.