What do dolphins think of us?

[Anonymous No.3589553]

This was brought up in another thread and I feel like it deserves expanded discussion.

Most animals that are friendly towards us are that way because we domesticated them. They don't have the capacity to grasp that technology isn't a normal thing we've always had or even to comprehend what technology is.

Dolphins are different. They're bright enough that it's possible they recognize we're advanced beyond them in many ways. For instance, while they are assholes to many other sea creatures they're unusually helpful and respectful to humans. Also, they rescue humans who are drowning, but don't try to rescue scuba divers, implying that they recognize what scuba gear does for us.

Do they see us as gods? Are they too dim to understand the concept of machines, of building tools that do complex things like let humans breathe underwater? If so do they think it's some sort of magic (if they have a concept like that) or do they just not understand it at all and regard us as mysterious and capable of things they find inexplicable?

What would a dolphin say about human beings when asked, if we could perfectly understand them?

[Anonymous No.3589561]

I don't know.

Probably something about how much they like fish.

[Anonymous No.3589563]

Reminds me of that one Penn & Teller episode about having a child with the help of some dolphins. And the guy that used a dolphin skull to hear the dolphin spirits's words of wisdom.

[Anonymous No.3589564]

they think we're fucking bosses cause we are

[Anonymous No.3589565]

>>3589553

This is a very interesting topic.. I haven't found much great information about dolphin intelligence and/or their interaction with humans. Does anyone have any good links/reading suggestions related to dolphins?

[Anonymous No.3589570]

Dolphins are assholes, but they think we're god? Smoke crack much? Dolphins are just friendly because they fear us. They don't understand us at all. They know we can kill them. That's all they need to know.

[Anonymous No.3589574]

It's like this, but the caveman is a dolphin, and easier to teach.

[Anonymous No.3589578]

>>3589570
> Dolphins are just friendly because they fear us.
what. This doesn't explain helping near-drowning humans.

[Anonymous No.3589588]

>>3589578
they must please the gods

[Anonymous No.3589606]

>>3589565

It was controversial for a long time because despite having a larger brain mass and equally sophisticated neural architecture, there's a lot of glia in there which when subtracted gives you a very slightly smaller brainmass. What changed in recent years was our understanding of how crucial spindle neurons are to intellgience and the discovery of similar densities of spindle neurons in dolphin brains along with touchscreen pattern based intelligence tests suggesting that dolphins are in fact closer to human intelligence than chimps.

Now, there are marine scientists pushing for dolphins and whales to be considered legal persons.

http://www.americanscientist.org/science/pub/-380

[Anonymous No.3589620]

>>3589563

I would laugh so hard if that dolphin waited for the baby to come out and then ate it in one bite. "Hey, free baby. nom nom nom. This chick's crotch dispenses tasty snacks, neat. More please?"

[Anonymous No.3589642]

Why not ask those dolphin fucker people?

[Anonymous No.3589647]

They know we're different, we have strange sonar signatures and make strange noises.

Their curiosity probably evolved in order to make them search for ways to find food and learn from other dolphins, their interest in us is probably a side effect of this.

[Anonymous No.3589648]

>>3589620
I think no one actually did that in the end. The episode followed a couple that wanted to(the woman anyway, the guy was worried) but in the end she gave up.

[Anonymous No.3589649]

>>3589642

They don't know or care what a dolphin thinks of them. Only that there are no fat dolphins, they're all lean and fit with bodies that undulate hypnotically and sleek hairless vaginas with concentric rings of muscles inside that massage the full length of your....

What were we talking about

[Anonymous No.3589674]

>>3589647

>They know we're different, we have strange sonar signatures and make strange noises.

They don't just recognize that we're not dolphins. Based on how they treat us they seem to recognize we're unlike any other creature they know of except perhaps themselves. They behave towards us with what seems like reverence, in seeming recognition that we're a fellow sentient species and by their estimation one that is more advanced and deserving of respect.

They hunt and kill porpoises and even other species of dolphin, but they treat us like we're royalty. They play with us in shallow water, they cooperate with net fishers to maximize yield, they will apparently seek out and fuck certain lonely weird humans who go looking for that sort of thing and of course they rescue us when we're drowning.

They treat human beings the way we'd treat a fallen angel, or stranded extraterrestrial.

[Sage No.3589679]

>>3589647

Like a serendipity.

>>3589578

True. Social constructs suggest more gray matter is developed, therefore symbolizing things like empathy and understanding human-like emotions, cause-and-effect, etc.

http://wikipedia.org/animal_cognitio(n)

[Anonymous No.3589696]

If they do think we're gods, they won't when they find out about this:

http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/The_Cove_(film)

In fact they'd probably turn to killing any human swimmers they came across.

[Anonymous No.3589704]

>>3589696
>implying this video was not made my humans
You're missing the point here bro.

White men are gods, the Japanese are demons.

[Anonymous No.3589713]

>>3589674
>They treat human beings the way we'd treat a fallen angel, or stranded extraterrestrial.
>or a stranded extraterrestrial

they capture us and dissect us?

I know because I saw a documentary about that in history channel

[Anonymous No.3589728]

>>3589704

>White men are gods, the Japanese are demons.

This is probably what we should tell them when communications tech makes it possible to. This way they won't hate us all, just the Japanese.

[Anonymous No.3589755]

>>3589649
You forget about the prehensile dolphin cock rubbing your insides in all sorts of unique ways.

I'm not for dolphin sex or anything, but it strikes me as much less gross than any other kind of bestiality. That's not saying too much, granted.

[Anonymous No.3589767]

>>3589755

They're hairless, muscular and good to look at. And they're intelligent enough to plausibly consent.

Not advocating or anything. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous No.3589768]

i think they recognize drowning people by their apparent desperation rather than the fact that they're not wearing scuba gear

[Anonymous No.3589773]

so long and thanks for all the fish

[Anonymous No.3589774]

>>3589755

They're hairless, smooth skinned, wet, muscular and good to look at. And they're intelligent enough to plausibly consent.

Not advocating or anything. Just sayin'.

[Anonymous No.3589788]

>>3589768

>i think they recognize drowning people by their apparent desperation rather than the fact that they're not wearing scuba gear

That implies that they recognize we can't normally breathe underwater. Yet when they see us scubadiving underwater they don't try to save us, like they recognize that we're able to breathe underwater under special circumstances. I don't think it's ridiculous to suggest, given their intelligence, that they infer from these experiences that we have some kind of edge over them in terms of capabilities.

[Anonymous No.3589796]

> opens thread
> no pics of dolphin pussy
that shit looks awesome, just sayin'

[Anonymous No.3589803]

>>3589788
>Scuba diver acting calm and cool, chillin and slowly swimming
>Normal person thrashing crazily at the water, probably shouting in desperation

Doesn't take a Dolphin to tell the difference

[Anonymous No.3589806]

Would a dolphin save an African-American?

[Anonymous No.3589808]

>>3589796

>Google image search for 'dolphin pussy'
>I expect it to be a trick, like it's actually horrifying
>JESUS CHRIST IT'S BEAUTIFUL WHY DON'T HUMAN VAGINAS LOOK LIKE THIS

[Anonymous No.3589813]

>>3589796
like this?

[Anonymous No.3589822]

Maybe they just like how we look?

You know, how many people like how cats look.

[Anonymous No.3589823]

>>3589813

No, get the one off of google imager search where it's spread open.

[Anonymous No.3589831]

>>3589822

I guess it could be purely superficial. That explains why dolphins commonly try to have sex with human swimmers.

[Anonymous No.3589840]

>>3589823
This?

[Anonymous No.3589861]

They notice that we need air like they do and recognize drowning behavior. They are also nice. Put two and two together nerds.

[Anonymous No.3589862]

>>3589840

That's the one.

[Anonymous No.3589904]

>2011
>Not having a hot dolphin waifu on the coast you visit every weekend
>ISHYGDDT

[Anonymous No.3589918]

Dolphins rescue drowning humans because it's instinct. If a baby dolphin is injured, they'll help it go towards the surface so it can breathe. It's simply instinctive altruistic behavior being misinterpreted as intelligence.

[Anonymous No.3589924]

>>3589918

You seem to believe that's the sole reason we think they're intelligent. That consensus is actually the result of in-depth study of their brains.

[Anonymous No.3589931]

>>3589924

The only way to figure this out is to genetically engineer some with limbs which can manipulate objects. Or possibly just graft some mechanical ones on.

[Anonymous No.3589949]

>>3589931

>The only way to figure this out is to genetically engineer some with limbs which can manipulate objects.

You mean something like this?

[Anonymous No.3589968]

>>3589949

A bit more dextrous. Think "Dr. Octopus".

[Anonymous No.3589981]

>>3589968
you're missing the big picture. Think "sharktipus", but with dolphins.

[Anonymous No.3589984]

>>3589553
they don't rescue scuba divers cause they don't act like they're drowning.

[Anonymous No.3589999]

>>3589984

What exactly does 'acting like drowning' mean? How would a dolphin know this?

[Anonymous No.3590002]

Dolphins participate in gang rape.

Sexism knows no bounds!

[Anonymous No.3590007]

>>3589999
Either not moving, or moving violently.

[Anonymous No.3590011]

....kill....kill...me....

[Anonymous No.3590024]

>/sci/ - GUYS HOW DO I BECOME A GOD

>this thread - SEA PUPPY MUST THINK I'M A GOD

[Anonymous No.3590044]

>>3589674
>reverence
more like curiosity, we're like a strange lobster or some seaweed to them

In evolutionary history dolphins that investigated strange things and imitated other dolphins were more likely to find new food sources or become better at taking advantage of existing food sources, that's a major evolutionary advantage of high intelligence. Dolphins do not eat porpoises and rarely attack them, they are not competitors.

>they will apparently seek out and fuck certain lonely weird humans who go looking for that sort of thing
lol wat

[No.3590076]

>>3589649
no fat dolphans he says

[Anonymous No.3590086]

>>3590044

>Dolphins do not eat porpoises and rarely attack them

Actually, they beat them to death for fun: http://www.godlikeproductions.com/forum1/message1516196/pg1

>lol wat

http://www.nbc-2.com/story/12272502/author-describes-loving-relationship-with-dolphin?redirected=tru
e

[Anonymous No.3590087]

>>3590076

Read the filename. That isn't a dolphin.

[Anonymous No.3590094]

>58 posts
>no The Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy references
/sci/ I am disappoint.

[Anonymous No.3590103]

>>3590086
dolphin rednecks beat up homeless man for fun.

happened on youtube.ru or liveleak or something

[Anonymous No.3590106]

ITT:
People who want to fuck dolphins
&
People who want to talk to dolphins

Has anyone actually swam with with wild dolphins? Not the ones who will do tricks or whatever for fish?
They are like sharks, they swim around on the edge of vision, occasionally comeing by close for a look. They are just animals bro.
The saveing drowning people thing is just instinct because unlike sharks they raise their young. They prolly think it's a drowning dolphin and saveing them is just a fluke

[Anonymous No.3590110]

>>3590106
And don't forget how many times a dolphin has had the chance to save a human and said "Fuck it, im rapin' mah wimmins"

[Anonymous No.3590111]

I read once that dolphins don't rescue people, they just like pushing people around in ANY direction and we only hear about the ones they save.

[Anonymous No.3590112]

>>3590094

>>3589773 has something to say to you

[Anonymous No.3590116]

>overestimating the intelligence of animals

Classic

[Anonymous No.3590120]

>>3590106
Dolphins don't mistake humans or other animals for dolphins. They're much more intelligent than that.

[Anonymous No.3590127]

>>3590106
Although this follows Occam's Razor, it's making just as many assumptions as people who believe dolphins are sentient.

[Anonymous No.3590134]

Dolphins are smrter than you humans could ever imagine they only act kindly to humans condesendingly like you would treat silly child

ps i am not a Dolphin

[Anonymous No.3590139]

>>3590106

>Has anyone actually swam with with wild dolphins? Not the ones who will do tricks or whatever for fish?
They are like sharks, they swim around on the edge of vision, occasionally comeing by close for a look.

When you watch human beings walking around they don't look especially smart. The fact that dolphins and sharks both swim around doesn't mean they are of identical intelligence, that's a terrible argument. You'll never see a shark do anything like this, for instance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuVgXJ55G6Y

>They are just animals bro.

So are we. There's no hard distinction. What's being argued is that on the spectrum of intelligence, dolphins are much closer to humans than any other species.

Pic: Dolphin performing pattern based intelligence test adapted from one used on chimps

[Anonymous No.3590140]

What? dolphins are assholes they kill people all the time. And that's not even getting into the dolphin on human rape.

[Anonymous No.3590143]

>>3590106

>Has anyone actually swam with with wild dolphins? Not the ones who will do tricks or whatever for fish?
>They are like sharks, they swim around on the edge of vision, occasionally comeing by close for a look.

When you watch human beings walking around they don't look especially smart. The fact that dolphins and sharks both swim around doesn't mean they are of identical intelligence, that's a terrible argument. You'll never see a shark do anything like this, for instance: http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=wuVgXJ55G6Y

>They are just animals bro.

So are we. There's no hard distinction. What's being argued is that on the spectrum of intelligence, dolphins are much closer to humans than any other species.

Pic: Dolphin performing pattern based intelligence test adapted from one used on chimps

[Anonymous No.3590155]

>>3590120
I think what is more likely is that their instict is kicking in. Similar example:
Your dog definitly loves you, and reconizes that you are not anouther dog. It might even die protecting you. However, some dogs will bite your hand off if you try to touch it's food when it's eating. Instinct is that strong.
Same thing with dolphins and thrashing, panicing people in the ocean.

I dont think they do it on "porpoise"

[Anonymous No.3590160]

>>3590140
http://www.insolitology.com/guides/fuckdolphin.htm

its not rape if they enjoy it

[Anonymous No.3590170]

>>3590116

>>overestimating the intelligence of animals

You're underestimating their intelligence. "They're just animals" is one of the dumbest things ever said. It implies we're not animals, and that simply by virtue of not being human, all nonhuman organisms are of identical intelligence.

[Anonymous No.3590186]

>>3590143
Yes, you can be perceived as competition.

One of the unique qualities of human intelligence is cooperation without apparent immediate benefit to ones self. Other animals do display cooperation abilities, but they know that they're in for something. I think the primary diffference is our ability to have much more complex communication allows for a development of much more complex society, and because of this thoughts and ideas are communicated from person to person. We build off of the ideas of others. I think that we may not be as inherently intelligent as we may think we are. How would a boy raised by chimpanzees fare against a chimpanzee raised in human society? Of course this experiment will never be completed but its interesting nonetheless.

But we're taught again and again to cooperate. With other animals, self-incentive comes first (not to say that some others lack empathy at all)

[Anonymous No.3590191]

>>3590143
ah, I ment "just wild animals"
I'm not saying that dolphins are as dumb as sharks, clearly they are more intelligent. I'm just trying to point out they don't naturally think we are the mightly dolphin gods or anything like that.

[Anonymous No.3590215]

I'm actually a scuba diver and I have encountered dolphins on one of more occasions.

Underwater dolphins tend to ignore scuba divers, however I believe that's because underwater dolphins move insanely fast underwater and most likely over look divers.
Also dolphins are more then capable of killing people, in fact one of my buddies was injured by a dolphin accidentally by getting hit by a snout. Remember these are creatures capable of taking on sharks with ease.

[Anonymous No.3590218]

>>3590191
I'm not the guy your are quoteing but I did say the "just animals" bit.
I ment this >>3590170
I fully agree that we are animals. just no longer wild. Fully trained and taught.

[Anonymous No.3590228]

>>3590191

>I'm just trying to point out they don't naturally think we are the mightly dolphin gods or anything like that.

But they are smart enough that they must think something about us. And they treat us in a way that suggests some type of respect. It makes sense; The ones we kill don't survive to tell the tale, but the injured ones that marine mammal treatment centers rehabilitate and release into the wild can potentially describe the experience to other dolphins. Net effect; they have an overall very positive view of human beings, assuming only that they can exchange information with one another and that they are smart enough to have opinions about humans.

[Anonymous No.3590230]

>>3590218
We aren't inherently "non-wild" though

Communication and complex social structure allows for this to happen.

[Anonymous No.3590237]

>>3590215

>Underwater dolphins tend to ignore scuba divers, however I believe that's because underwater dolphins move insanely fast underwater and most likely over look divers.

Uhh, see pic. They don't overlook divers.

[Anonymous No.3590247]

>>3590237
I didn't say they always ignore divers it's just that 90% of the time you will not find dolphins idling underwater or in "play mode". Remember they have to surface to breath.

If they are underwater they are either on the move or looking for food.

[Anonymous No.3590248]

>>3590228
Hahaha, that post made me lol.

>Sinclair! Where have you been?!
>Oh man seabros, do I have a story to tell the great dolphin concil!

Seriously, wild dolphins must think we are loud akward pale seals or something.
While to trained dolphins we are the dispensors of the fish reward for their strantge food rituals.
http://vidallena.org/skinpal.htm

[Anonymous No.3590279]

>mfw dolphins evolve, grow limbs, become smarter and invent an alphabet
>mfw humans are gods in their eyes
>mfw humans blow themselves up or move to a different planet and leave no trace that we were ever here
>mfw dolphins build statues of us and tell stories of when we were still on earth
>mfw they become even smarter and we become like the ancient greek gods, just a myth

[Anonymous No.3590278]

>>3590248

It would be more like:

>Hey, you know those things from the land that are like us but with legs, that we see wearing black outer skins swimming around in shallow water?
>Yeah of course
>Well look at where my wound was
>What happened, it's gone already!
>They took me on land and fixed it somehow. They had a little ocean contained inside a cave that it looks like they built. They put me in there and sometimes took me out and made me sleep even though I tried not to. When it was over, my wound was sealed shut and soon it was completely healed.
>What's the deal with them? Why can they do stuff like that and we can't?
>I don't know, but if they can do stuff like this for us then we shouldn't antagonize them the way we do with porpoises or manatees.

[Anonymous No.3590291]

>>3590230
In my mind "wild animal" means a being operating on instinct or emotions to decide actions.
This brings up interesting questions though.
If (somehow) a human were able to survive alone in the wild, would it be "wild"?
What about the tribes in South america that have had no contact with society, are they "wild"?
meh, fun to think about.

[Anonymous No.3590294]

>>3590278

Dolphins wouldn't know that we built anything. If they saw a city they'd just assume that's what land is like, that buildings are a normal part of the landscape and that we found them like that.

[Anonymous No.3590299]

>>3589840
whyboner.jpg

[Anonymous No.3590302]

>>3590279
Dolphins don't have a culture. Culture preserves myths. Dolphins will only get more intelligent if intelligence is selected for. Which would suck, considering they couldn't manipulate tools underwater, especially to manipulate fire, which is basically the bedrock technological achievement of our evolutionary ancestors.

[Anonymous No.3590315]

>>3590302
>Dolphins don't have a culture.
>Dolphins can't ever have a culture.
>considering they couldn't manipulate tools underwater,
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMCf7SNUb-Q

[Anonymous No.3590316]

>>3590291
>What about the tribes in South america that have had no contact with society
What do you mean? The tribes ARE a society

We do in many cases operate on instinct and emotion, and some other animals DO have problem-solving capabilities, the ability to plan ahead, the ability to fabricate and use tools, the ability to learn by observation (of course i'm mostly referring to chimpanzees in these previous points), to me that's more than just operating solely on "instinct" and emotion. Yet they're still "wild."

[Anonymous No.3590320]

>>3590302
That's why we genetically engineer them with working arms and legs, and make sure they are on the right path to becoming smarter while we're still here

[Anonymous No.3590327]

>>3590316
He means they've never touched themselves, there.

[Anonymous No.3590328]

>>3590302
This guy has got it right. Fire is was very important to our intelligence. Without it dolphins are at a huge disatvantage.

[Anonymous No.3590331]

>>3590302

>Dolphins don't have a culture.
>they couldn't manipulate tools underwater

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn7475-dolphins-teach-their-children-to-use-sponges.html

"Dolphins in Australia have been observed using tools, and they seem to pass on their specialist knowledge to others. This is the first time cultural transmission has been confirmed in a marine mammal.

Lacking hands, dolphins are limited in what they can do with a tool, but some bottlenose dolphins in Shark Bay, Western Australia, have devised a way to break marine sponges off the seafloor and wear them over their snouts when foraging.

"We believe that they use sponges as a kind of glove to protect their sensitive rostrums when they probe for prey in the substrate," says Michael Krützen, formerly of the University of New South Wales in Sydney, Australia, and now at the University of Zurich, Switzerland."

>"...have been observed using tools"
>"...cultural transmission has been confirmed"

[Anonymous No.3590332]

>>3590320
they can use their penis like a hand....
"which included descriptions of how Freddie was known to tow bathers through the water by hooking his large penis around them"
http://www.telegraph.co.uk/earth/earthnews/3322580/Tougher-laws-to-protect-friendly-dolphins.html

[Anonymous No.3590337]

>>3590332
good god maybe out there somewhere in the universe is a creature that moves and manipulates things entirely with their penises

damn nature

[Anonymous No.3590341]

>>3590302
Orcas are dolphins and there populations seem to be split up by linguistics and culture.

[Anonymous No.3590344]

>>3590331

I think this is the highest quantity of told I have ever seen in a single post.

[Anonymous No.3590365]

>>3590337
in4 thread is flooded with Spore creatures

[Anonymous No.3590367]

>>3590140
http://www.sankakucomplex.com/2009/02/04/dolphin-raeps-girl/

wheres the dolphin on human raep?

[Anonymous No.3590377]

>>3590332
Fucking hell they give conservation efforts a bad name, people don't move the dolphins into a range where it would get hurt. It did that itself.

Marine animals in shallow boat frequenting waters will eventually get hurt by boat propellers, whether they're the local whore or not. If anything such a dolphin has a greater chance of being noticed by people and treated for it's injuries.

[Anonymous No.3590384]

>>3590367

There are pictures of this. Google image search turns them up easily.

Humans and dolphins are tsundere as fuck for each other.

[Anonymous No.3590400]

Can anyone explain why dolphins are always trying to mate with our females?

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=qE_6n1gp3Vw

[Anonymous No.3590410]

>>3590400

Dolphins have poor eyesight, and 'see' mainly with sonar. We're of similar size, including the size of our organs and ribcage and whatnot. Our heartbeats sound very similar, we're both smooth hairless mammals, we both go to/from the surface to breathe...

It's pretty easy to see how dolphins could simply be mistaking us for other dolphins.

[Anonymous No.3590425]

the dolphins are the ones who made this technology. that laptop youre using? dolphins. the internet? dolphins. parachute pants? dolphins.

[Anonymous No.3590432]

>>3590425

>parachute pants? dolphins.

Yeah, they did a great job on everything else but parachute pants were a poor choice. Nobody's perfect, right? Even dolphins have off days.

[Anonymous No.3590455]

>>3590337
Good LORD!
I just had the thought that somewhere on some distant planet an actual, fully intelligent, tool using creature that manipulates it's environment with it's penises was posting on one of their discussion boards on their version of the interweb the rhetorical musings that there might be creatures that don't use their penises to manipulate THEIR environment ... they they would find THAT too strange to comprehend.

[Anonymous No.3590489]

>>3589553
>if we could perfectly understand them?

We are humans and even we can't perfectly understand each other ... and you want to go and raise the level of misunderstanding to the inter-spices mode!
Perhaps we should just go to war now with all cetaceans and save time. :S

[Anonymous No.3590501]

>>3590400
Can you blame them? Did you see the ass on her?

[Anonymous No.3590504]

>We recieve broadcast from aliens in advance of their visit, announcing intention to make contact
>Spaceship lands on whitehouse lawn
>Out come dolphins in robotic exoskeletons
>They want to know how we've been treating their ancestors on Earth
>Japan is obliterated by the next day

[Anonymous No.3590508]

>>3590400

Well, I can't blame him. That dolphin has good taste.

[Anonymous No.3590529]

>>3590501
>>3590508
>can't see her face
>generic ass
>good taste
Its lonely being a virgin eh?

[Anonymous No.3590545]

Dolphins think I'm sexy. I've already had sex with a few female dolphins. There's guides.

[Anonymous No.3590548]

>>3590529

>doesn't think she's hot
>every girl I bang should have a perfect ass
>angsty for no reason

It's lonely being a virgin eh?

>pic related, your self portrait

[Anonymous No.3590554]

I don't really know what they think, but i read an article that says most human brainpower goes toward balance. in water you don't need to spend resources on balancing, so in reality a dolphin could actually be more intelligent than a human.

[Stun !MrBasaXDIQ No.3590578]

>>3590554
implying moving around water with the precision of a dolphin is a piece of cake

[Anonymous No.3590589]

I like how a lot of anons confuse merely stating a position illustratively with actually arguing the veracity of an idea. And how "X happens, [therefore] it's representative." Every day, every thread, every board, every site, everywhere. Sigh, intelligence is misunderstood.

[Anonymous No.3590618]

>>3590548
>mad that he has low standards in women
>in denial
>projects self-image on to me
You're not fooling anyone.

[Anonymous No.3590668]

>>3590400

What I find interesting in this video is that the dolphin clearly has a rudimentary understanding of human anatomy...

[Anonymous No.3590681]

>>3590668

Or it smells tuna.

[Anonymous No.3590687]

>>3590668
They have sonar. They can see your organs as well as your skeletal structure.

[Anonymous No.3590690]

>>3590681

Dolphins get an erection from smelling tuna?

[Anonymous No.3590696]

>>3590687

I wish that even began to make sense...

[Anonymous No.3590697]

>>3590690
Don't you?

[Anonymous No.3590706]

>>3590696
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=5ok097oxyXU

[Anonymous No.3590714]

>>3590697

lol 10/10 my friend. Perfect delivery, simply amazing.

[Anonymous No.3590723]

Are you guys implying that animals can't learn from mimicking each other too? Humans aren't that different. I've seen animals of different species mimic each others actions. Peacocks learned to avoid humans by hopping fences by looking at others. They even learned to run away with their food by watching others do it so they won' get hungry. Hell, I've seen a peacock learn that it can cool itself down by making a hole and knocking dirt up by watching a some small flying bird.

[Anonymous No.3590735]

>>3590706

Well... you learn something new everyday... Huh, I wouldn't figure that sonar could be so exact to be able to see bone structure...

I still find it fascinating that it has no qualms about having sex with a human.

[Anonymous No.3590745]

>>3590736
Now... If you're going to ask for a video of a guy fucking a dolphin... do you really want to do that with your tripcode on?

[Anonymous No.3590754]

>>3590745
who was it?

[MITguy !s5jaQQFouo No.3590756]

>>3590745
hahahaha too late :P

[MITguy !s5jaQQFouo No.3590768]

might as well post the video guys nao

[Anonymous No.3590960]

http://www.escapistmagazine.com/news/view/109961-Dolphin-Translation-Machine-Coming-Soon

Anything ever happen with this? I'm astonished it hadn't been attempted before, actually.

Probably 90% of dolphin "society" involves high-frequency soundwaves that we can't even hear, let alone interpret. This machine could break the language barrier, assuming they have the rudiments of such language.

[­­­­ No.3590966]

no no let me help you all if you're ALL that interested in dolphin or animal sex.. by all means here: dogtied.com

[Anonymous No.3590993]

[Anonymous No.3591039]

Aren't dolphins one of the few animals that have sex for pleasure?

[Anonymous No.3591049]

True Fact: If those fuckers at the NSA whould let us use thier cyrptogramy systems and super computers we could:

A: decode liner B or B (ancient Minoan alphabet)what ever one they can't decipher I can't remember

B: figure out dolphin language

[Anonymous No.3591056]

I don't think there is anyway a project to establish meaningful communication with dolphins to be funded because if such communication did occur it would undermine the values and organizing assertions of the society that funded it.

allot of things in society are like that. If we wanted to find the biological basis of homosexuality for example it shouldn't be too hard except that nobody will pay for it.

[Anonymous No.3591094]

>>3591056
I think you have the homosexuality thing exactly wrong and that "society" wishes to believe based on its "values" that homosexuality is biological to an overwhelming extent. Even the mere mention of an alternative is heresy. Even the mere mention of bisexuals (who create a problem for the simplistic view that people are either "born straight" or "born gay") is taboo.

[Anonymous No.3591129]

>>3591094

I don't know what "society" you're living in but it sure ain't mine.

[Anonymous No.3591135]

>>3590545

I didn't believe it till I read it...

[Anonymous No.3591137]

>>3591094
Correct. I guess I was being a little unclear. I meant to say that the powers that be won't pay for the research in case they discover that there is NO biological basis for homosexuality,

[Anonymous No.3591140]

Always remember, dolphins are functionally similar to human psychopaths. I can't remember where I read this, but there was a study done once somehow.

They may smile and frolic and look friendly, but if they think they can, they'll murder you with those same playful smiles on their snouts, just to watch you die. Never forget this,

[Anonymous No.3591145]

>>3591129
I could say the same to you.

"Homosexuality is genetic"
"Humans aren't all that special."
"Humans are destructive and ignorant."
"Earth is not special."
"Human intelligence is nothing special, just look at the dolphins/parrots/apes."

All of those are pervasive beliefs in the mentality of modern society.

[Anonymous No.3591210]

>>3590504

i fucking lol'd

[Anonymous No.3591222]

Well dolphins are one of the few conscious species on earth, so they might be able to recognize the concept of tools just like every other conscious species on earth

[Anonymous No.3591244]

dolphins know math
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=TMCf7SNUb-Q&feature=related

[Anonymous No.3591351]

Let me see:

*They are playful, even with other species - check
*They display altruistic behaviours, even with other species - check
*They rear their offspring carefully, teaching them stuff - check
*They engage in orgies, have dubious indiscriminate sexual behaviour - check
*They commit infanticide - check
*Sometimes they kill for no apparent reason or they harass other species - check
*They used to be land mammals, their embryos still show vestigial hind legs (maybe they still have motor brain structures that were used for walking on land)
*They can be very friendly or very deadly (flexible control of instinctive drives)

I think they might have some equivalent of the human theory-of-mind abilities, which might come from a selection for neotenous types with lower aggression and smoother types of body. If so, it's no mystery why they feel so close to our species. They see their own contradictory nature mirrored in us, although on a much less complex scale (because they don't have articulated language).

They don't understand our complex behaviours but they feel some affinity for the similar contradictions that humans display compared to other living beings (like not being aggressive with strangers or other species, unless the situation requires it to be).

Researchers should try make some experiments to see how they interact with chimps.

[Anonymous No.3591357]

>>3591351
>Researchers should try make some experiments to see how they interact with chimps.
>Planet of the Apes and Dolphins

[Anonymous No.3591374]

>For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was more intelligent than dolphins because he had achieved so much - the wheel, New York, wars and so on - whilst all the dolphins had ever done was muck about in the water having a good time. But conversely, the dolphins had always believed that they were far more intelligent than man - for precisely the same reasons.

Ever thought about that dolphins may actually be more intelligent than us? It does make some sense when you look at the quote. Also, we still know quite little about their intelligence, and intelligence as a whole. Since they adapted to such a different environment from our own their intelligence arguably must be different from ours, which makes it harder to study.

[Anonymous No.3591379]

>>3591357
>The chimps start riding the dolphins
>They conquer the sea.
>invade countries

[Anonymous No.3591394]

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=jz3sQsTE5tA

They understand us just fine. They understand sentences and can analyze what they mean. Its kinda scary.

[Anonymous No.3591399]

this thread is dildos

[Anonymous No.3591400]

>>3591394
DOLPHINS ARE NOW REINCARNATED HUMANS

[Anonymous No.3591406]

>>3591394
>human
>go through

What does the dolphin do?

[Anonymous No.3591432]

>>3591394
>where the dolphins have learned a simple sign language

I don't get why they do this. Communicating with them through sound would make much more sense. Dolphins have poor eyesight, but extremely good hearing and they communicate with each other by using complicated sounds.

[Anonymous No.3592383]

>>3590410
>>3591432
because there seems to be a misconception about dolphin eyesight, i feel the need to post this:
http://www.dolphin-institute.org/resource_guide/dolphin_perception.htm

>We now know, however, that oceanic dolphins, such as the bottlenosed dolphin, have excellent vision

[Anonymous No.3592422]

holy fuck this thread made me want to live with the dolphins.

[Anonymous No.3592452]

>>3591394
I don't buy it. As much as I_want_to_believe.jpg, they use both sign language and spoken language. I think the dolphin is conditioned to these tasks.

[None !NViDiAnORk No.3592746]

>>3591145
Homosexuality in men is genetic.

[Anonymous No.3592748]

>>3590993
>>3591399

>>""Even more surprisingly, some virus groups have shown the ability to cross the marine-terrestrial ecosystem boundary -- from sea to land," Nollens said. "We have demonstrated at least one case of genetic recombination between viruses of human and marine mammals.""

You can get STDs from dolphins.

http://www.sciencedaily.com/releases/2010/02/100218173114.htm

[None !NViDiAnORk No.3592750]

Also I want to fuck a dolphin

[Anonymous No.3593046]

>>3592750
See:

>>3591887

[Anonymous No.3593088]

>>3591394
Fucking awesome. Thanks for this.

[Anonymous No.3593101]

>>3592452
> I think the dolphin is conditioned to these tasks.
You seem to be ignoring the part about getting new combinations and complications right the first time. They understand the abstract concepts the words represent.

[Anonymous No.3593265]

Dolphins are just bros.

[Anonymous No.3593530]

>>3590011
>adam jensen goes for a swim.jpg

[Anonymous No.3594512]

I think it's just because of fun, OP.

They realize we understand their ways of playing and that they can play with us.
That's the difference between humans/dolphins and other creatures, we can play together and understand fun. We are "friends". That's all.

[Anonymous No.3595839]

>>3590332
good god. They couldn't of held onto his fin?

[Anonymous No.3595857]

Dolphin here.

Humans are different. They're bright enough that it's possible they recognize we're advanced beyond them in many ways. For instance, while they are assholes to many other creatures they're unusually helpful and respectful to dolphins.

[sage No.3596786]

>>3595857
>>3593265
>>3593101

Oh hai dolphin. Can you make me moist?

[Anonymous No.3596806]

>>3595857

I lol'ed so hard

[Anonymous No.3596825]

>>3595857
>>3596806
I snorted my drink. Easy one, but fucking funny.

[Anonymous No.3596852]

>>3589788
> That implies that they recognize we can't normally breathe underwater.
They CAN recognize this. Their echolocation basically makes our air-filled lungs show up as clearly as theirs. THEY don't breathe underwater. When we have a scuba, they probably think we're holding our breath like they do. When we start flailing, they probably think we're drowning like one of their infants or injured.

[Anonymous No.3596908]

>>3594512
I mean... I like anon. But we are just really good friends, thats all.

[Anonymous No.3596917]

>>3595857
Except for the japanese that butcher them WW2 style

[Anonymous No.3596936]

>Dolphins are different. They're bright enough that it's possible they recognize we're advanced beyond them in many ways. For instance, while they are assholes to many other sea creatures they're unusually helpful and respectful to humans. Also, they rescue humans who are drowning, but don't try to rescue scuba divers, implying that they recognize what scuba gear does for us.

[citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed] [citation needed]

[Anonymous No.3596947]

>>3596908

Friendzoned by a dolphin. Now that's brutal.

[Anonymous No.3596979]

Why would they see humans as gods?
Humans are eminently unsuitable for life in water. Few humans can even stay submerged for longer than five minutes without cumbersome help.
Don't even get me started on how clumsy and slow humans are while moving in water.

[Anonymous No.3596985]

>>3596936

Citation: http://www.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/science/article6973994.ece

>Dolphins have been declared the world’s second most intelligent creatures after humans, with scientists suggesting they are so bright that they should be treated as “non-human persons”.

>Studies into dolphin behaviour have highlighted how similar their communications are to those of humans and that they are brighter than chimpanzees. These have been backed up by anatomical research showing that dolphin brains have many key features associated with high intelligence.

[Anonymous No.3596994]

>>3596947
what can i say, anon is like a brother to me.

[Anonymous No.3597000]

>>3596979

>Humans are eminently unsuitable for life in water. Few humans can even stay submerged for longer than five minutes without cumbersome help.

They've seen us dive much longer with scuba. Besides which we're more capable underwater than they are on land.

>Don't even get me started on how clumsy and slow humans are while moving in water.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=z09RmuaPyVU
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=xmF3Vcclo4g

[Anonymous No.3597007]

>>3596994

>He thought I wanted to date him!
>laughingdolphins.jpg

[Anonymous No.3597024]

>>3597000
>They've seen us dive much longer with scuba.
see
>without cumbersome help

>on land
Why would a dolphin care?
Seas are the majority environment on Earth.
Who cares if some naked apes can splash around near the shores.

[Anonymous No.3597034]

>>3596985
so...they're smarter than other animals.

that says nothing about what they're capable of understanding.

[Anonymous No.3597040]

Until people give me some decent articles and links, I can't help but think the intelligence of dolphins is overplayed due to it being an appealing notion.

If it is true, I would love to know.

[Anonymous No.3597044]

Can't see why dolphins would have this apparent intelligence, evolutionarily. very skeptical.

[Anonymous No.3597057]

>>3597040
This. I always hear how "studies say" which is infuriating because I am damn curious to hear what these studies actually are and did find, in detail.

> Recently, however, a series of behavioural studies has suggested that dolphins, especially species such as the bottlenose, could be the brighter of the two. The studies show how dolphins have distinct personalities, a strong sense of self and can think about the future.

It has also become clear that they are “cultural” animals, meaning that new types of behaviour can quickly be picked up by one dolphin from another.

Bitch, citations.

[Anonymous No.3597060]

>>3597034

>so...they're smarter than other animals.

That's not all the article said.

>that says nothing about what they're capable of understanding.

>Studies into dolphin behaviour have highlighted how similar their communications are to those of humans and that they are brighter than chimpanzees. These have been backed up by anatomical research showing that dolphin brains have many key features associated with high intelligence.

>“The neuroanatomy suggests psychological continuity between humans and dolphins and has profound implications for the ethics of human-dolphin interactions,” she added.

>The studies show how dolphins have distinct personalities, a strong sense of self and can think about the future.

>It has also become clear that they are “cultural” animals, meaning that new types of behaviour can quickly be picked up by one dolphin from another.

>bottlenose dolphins could recognise themselves in a mirror and use it to inspect various parts of their bodies, an ability that had been thought limited to humans and great apes.

>she found that captive animals also had the ability to learn a rudimentary symbol-based language.

>dolphins can solve difficult problems, while those living in the wild co-operate in ways that imply complex social structures and a high level of emotional sophistication.

>There are many similar examples, such as the way dolphins living off Western Australia learnt to hold sponges over their snouts to protect themselves when searching for spiny fish on the ocean floor.

[Anonymous No.3597073]

>>3597060
Not being given citations to this is almost like being intellectually cockblocked. It;s that fucking annoying. I want descriptions of these dolphin behaviors, cultures and languages, not just to be told they exist.

[Anonymous No.3597094]

>>3597073

Here's the citation for cultural transmission and tool use:

http://www.newscientist.com/article/dn7475-dolphins-teach-their-children-to-use-sponges.html

[Anonymous No.3597105]

>>3594512
>
They realize we understand their ways of playing and that they can play with us.
>That's the difference between humans/dolphins and other creatures, we can play together and understand fun. We are "friends". That's all.

Dolphins are man's best friend... with benefits.

[sage No.3597121]

>>3597105
>>3597094

WtfamIreading.

DOGS ARE FRIENDS WITH BENEFITS

AND IF THEY'EERR USING SPONGES WEN EED NO LONGA WOMAN IN DAT KITCHEN

[Anonymous No.3597122]

>>3597094
Excellent, thanks. Anything like this is well wanted, if dolphin intelligence is not just a romantic notion it gets my curiosity up like fuck.

[Anonymous No.3597128]

Maybe we will end up living in a civilization made up of uploaded dolphin and human brains - and ones in between.

Or not, but it would make a good sci-fi setting. maybe smaller programs could be based on remote descendants of cat, dog or chimp brains which are conditioned into performing certain roles.

[Anonymous No.3597135]

Dogs are still better than any other animal at understanding us.

But every body understands that dogs are ultimate bro tier.

[Anonymous No.3597146]

>>3597135

Thing is, they are social as fuck, but not very smart.

Dogs are like the hot blonde that barely graduated high school by getting answers from nerds.

Dolphins are like the hot brunette who is currently writing her dissertation at Harvard.

[Anonymous No.3597158]

>>3597135

It's theorized that dog brains have been gradually rewired by selective breeding to think more like people. They aren't as smart, they're just more like us and able to intuit what we want from them.

Dolphins are very alien in their thought processes, but legitimately intelligent. If we had selectively bred dolphins the way we have dogs, we'd probably be having conversations with them right now.

[Anonymous No.3597161]

>>3597135
>dogs are ultimate bro tier.
>dogs
>race bred to be happy, obedient slaves no matter what
>yfw you realize dog owners are too retarded to build relationships based on mutual respect, balance of power and equality

[Anonymous No.3597197]

Interesting fact, dogs exhibit a "left gaze bias" when looking at humans. That is, their eyes momentarily look at the right side of our face because it is more expressive of our moods. While monkeys and humans exhibit to this to many faces and face-like objects, dogs do this exclusively with humans.

http://eprints.lincoln.ac.uk/2423/1/LGB-revision1109.pdf

[Anonymous No.3597422]

I've read of a guy who trained dolphins to respond to Morse code. While it can be a pain to learn compared to other systems, it seems like it'd be the easiest for dolphins to pronounce, since they could just use clicks for dots and whistles for dashes.

[Anonymous No.3599038]

>>3597073

Found some of these:

>Dolphin social intelligence: complex alliance relationships in bottlenose dolphins and a consideration of selective environments for extreme brain size evolution in mammals

http://rstb.royalsocietypublishing.org/content/362/1480/587.short

>Communicative and other cognitive characteristics of bottlenose dolphins

http://www.sciencedirect.com/science/article/pii/S1364661397010462

Also not strictly related to dolphin intelligence, but interesting:

>Long-Term Effectiveness of Dolphin-Assisted Therapy for Children with Severe Disabilities

http://www.ingentaconnect.com/content/berg/anthroz/1998/00000011/00000001/art00005?token=005c1bed1b1
2e0b7eff5a666f3a7b6c7a4044762c20635276703449264f655d375c6b6876305021592c64b76e8a7

[Anonymous No.3599090]

>>3589553
YOU KNOW, MORON, I THINK THAT DOGS ARE SMARTER THAN DOLPHINS, MONKEYS ARE SMARTER THAN DOGS, AND OCTOPUSES ARE MUCH SMARTER THAN MONKEYS

[Anonymous No.3599138]

>>3597158
WE MUST DO IT

[Anonymous No.3599224]

>>3589553
Dolphins don't even have a language system comparable of that of humans. Therefor the concept of god might exist for some dolphins but however is incapable of leaving the dolphin's brain since their language is incapable of describing it.

Problem solved.

[Anonymous No.3599277]

>>3599224
>Dolphins don't even have a language system comparable of that of humans.
[citation needed]

[Anonymous No.3599298]

>Do they see us as gods? Are they too dim to understand the concept of machines, of building tools that do complex things like let humans breathe underwater? If so do they think it's some sort of magic (if they have a concept like that) or do they just not understand it at all and regard us as mysterious and capable of things they find inexplicable?

No, they probably just think we're fun to play with.

[Anonymous No.3599453]

>>3597057
>I always hear how "studies say"

Those are also known as weasel words. /sci/ was full of that shit for the first couple weeks of its existence.

That and nobody knew how the scientific method even works.

[Anonymous No.3599843]

>>3599090
>monkeys smarter than dogs

Well, I think that smart is as smart does. Monkeys have no empathy for humans, little self-discipline, and are cowards. How goal-oriented they are I can't say, but dogs certainly are very goal-oriented.

Now bravery may be more of an emotional trait than intelligence, but I think bravery goes hand in hand with exploring new environments, which of course, dogs excel at.

As for discipline and patience, a well-trained dog will sit-stay until doomsday, try and get a monkey to do that. You can toilet train a dog in about three goes, monkeys are on a level with humans there - which means it takes forever and they have to wear diapers for relatively the same amount of time.

But it's the empathy with humans that counts for me. You can't train a monkey to follow your pointed hand or finger, they have no clue, but a dog will pick up that you are signaling the location of an unseen object or that you want them to move in a certain direction very quickly. Monkeys absolutely do not understand that and can't do it.

As for dogs being anything but cowards, I think that goes without saying.

[Anonymous No.3600497]

Ohh how cute the fat dolphin is kissing her

[Anonymous No.3600501]

>>3600497
Nope it was just hungry.

[Anonymous No.3600508]

>>3600501
Ohh no not again!

[Anonymous No.3600514]

>>3600508
Omm nomm nomm

[Anonymous No.3600519]

>>3600514
We must fight back, Kill the dolphins.

[Anonymous No.3600522]

>>3600501
That image should have been "these aren't my glasses".

[Anonymous No.3600526]

>>3600519
Kill them all!

[fat dolphin hater No.3600530]

>>3600522
slow brow is dissapoint
You kill his combo
Good night

[Anonymous No.3601317]

It's an important and popular fact that things are not always what they seem.

For instance, on the planet Earth, man had always assumed that he was the most intelligent species occupying the planet, instead of the third most intelligent. The second most intelligent creatures were of course dolphins who, curiously enough, had long known of the impending destruction of the planet Earth. They had made many attempts to alert mankind to the danger, but most of their communications were misinterpreted as amusing attempts to punch footballs or whistle for titbits. So they eventually decided they would leave Earth by their own means.

The last ever dolphin message was misinterpreted as a surprisingly sophisticated attempt to do a double-backwards somersault through a hoop while whistling The Star-Spangled Banner, but in fact, the message was this:

"So long, and thanks for all the fish!"

[Anonymous No.3601450]

>>3601317
Shitty reference to a shitty movie.

Also, dolphins don't have shit on human's intelligence.

[Anonymous No.3601554]

Do dolphins have ego's?

[Anonymous No.3601563]

>>3601450

>hitch-hiker's guide to the galaxy
>shitty movie
>not a fucking sweet radio play by Douglas Adams, later adapted to widely read books and then to a shitty movie

Dammit why are you even on /sci/

[Anonymous No.3601606]

>>3601317
raged
10/10 troll.
socatess unknown

[Anonymous No.3601629]

>>3589553
a dolphin would say

>eep eep eep
or
>derp derp derp

[Anonymous No.3601661]

>>3599843

So...
Republicans = monkeys?

[Anonymous No.3601668]

>>3599843
Fuck yeah, dogs.

Dogs are smart animals, if not anything at leas Conscious.