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/sci/ - Science & Math

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3552774 No.3552774 [Reply] [Original]

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were athiests.

ATHIEST KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.

ATHIEST MOM: Okay, son.

ATHIEST KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."

ATHIEST MOM: Okay, come home soon!

The athiest kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

ATHIEST DAD: Hey!

ATHIEST MOM: Hi, honey! I'm pregnant again. I guess I'll just get another abortion, since "fetuses don't count as human life."

ATHIEST DAD: Okay, get as many abortions as you want!

ATHIEST MOM: Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.

ATHIEST DAD: Why not?

ATHIEST MOM: There are two gay men fucking each other in there.

ATHIEST DAD: Why are they here?

ATHIEST MOM: I wanted to watch them do it for awhile. They just aren't finished yet.

ATHIEST DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

ATHIEST NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a Christian outside!

ATHIEST MOM: We'll be right there!

The athiest couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a Christian is nailed to a large, wooden X. He is being burned alive. A crowd of athiests stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM ATHIEST: Damn you, Christian! We hate you! We claim to be tolerant of all religions. But we really hate your's! That's because we athiests are hypocritical like that! Die, Christian!

THE END

>> No.3552793
File: 18 KB, 379x214, im ok with this.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3552793

>> No.3552795 [DELETED] 
File: 21 KB, 300x479, Who__s_a_Sad_Panda__by_moocha.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3552795

mfw I don't live in this world

>> No.3552801

I'm pretty sure my very religious mother sent me this shit in an email once.

>> No.3552800

>>3552774

It all sounds so perfect. So very perfect.

>> No.3552807

It was good sense of them to nail the christian to an X instead of a t, much more support and less religious symbolism.

You also forgot the part where the two gay people are sacrificed in a blood orgy with Satan in the basement after they're finished. Of course, you musn't forget the blood orgy chalice. What good is blood of sacrifices from just another cup?

>> No.3552816

The world sounds like a beautiful place without religion's influence.

>> No.3552858

I would love to live in a world where people can openly explore their sexuality and not be judged.

>> No.3552864
File: 14 KB, 176x278, 1304264460436.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3552864

I can live with this.

>> No.3552876

Definitely gonna scream "Math" next time I'm fucking a girl.

>> No.3552880
File: 89 KB, 600x544, 1299630355316.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3552880

This new world is chill as fuck.

>> No.3552883

Post the video you arsehole

www.youtube.com/watch?v=qO9IPoAdct8

>> No.3552896

>>3552774
What is an athiest and how do I become one?

>> No.3552893

cool story bro

but why the black robes? when I burn Christians, I prefer jeans and a t-shirt.

>> No.3552892

I wish that you had developed the characters a little bit more, but on the whole the setting was perfect and the narration was spectacular.

>> No.3552908

this is also on /b/. guess i expected as much

>> No.3552909

very old copypasta

>> No.3552935
File: 7 KB, 233x251, 1296994062942.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3552935

i enjoyed this

>> No.3552950
File: 199 KB, 1127x1050, 1313091759934.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3552950

>>3552883

>> No.3552968
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3552968

Thanks OP.

>> No.3552982
File: 9 KB, 357x322, 1306682758264.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3552982

can I be a gay gay fucking in a random persons bathroom?

Seems like the perfect world to me

>> No.3552986
File: 31 KB, 385x402, deal with it (1).jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3552986

I don't see any problems with all of this. Proceed.

>> No.3552987
File: 29 KB, 300x321, 0711-Rowson-Dawkins.jpg [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3552987

>>3552982
whatever makes you gay, gay guy.

>> No.3553018

This is what it would be like, if the majority of people were agnostics.

AGNOSTIC KID: Mom, I'm going to go fuck a hooker.

AGNOSTIC MOM: You don't really know that. Nobody can see the future.

AGNOSTIC KID: Afterwards, I'm going to go smoke pot with my friends, since it's "not addictive."

AGNOSTIC MOM: Please be careful. We have to keep an open mind about whether pot is addictive or not.

The agnostic kid leaves the room. The father comes home from work several minutes later.

AGNOSTIC DAD: Hey!

AGNOSTIC MOM: Hi, honey! I think I might be pregnant again.

AGNOSTIC DAD: But we haven't had sex in five years!

AGNOSTIC MOM: It could happen. I guess I'll just get an abortion to be sure. Oh, and don't go in the bedroom.

AGNOSTIC DAD: Why not?

AGNOSTIC MOM: There could be two gay men fucking each other in there.

AGNOSTIC DAD: Why would they be here?

AGNOSTIC MOM: I dunno, some people might get off on sneaking into other people's houses.

AGNOSTIC DAD: Okay, that's fine with me!

Suddenly, their neighbor runs into the house.

AGNOSTIC NEIGHBOR: Come quick, there's a guy outside who thinks he's being chased by dragons!

AGNOSTIC MOM: We'll be right there!

The agnostic couple quickly put on a pair of black robes and hoods. They then exit the house, and run into the street, where a schizophrenic is held in a white straightjacket. He is being taken to the mental hospital. A crowd of agnostics stand around him, all wearing black robes and hoods.

RANDOM AGNOSTIC: Damn you, schizophrenic! We hate you! We claim we can't know whether invisible creatures exist. But we really hate your's! That's because we agnostics are hypocritical like that!

THE END

>> No.3553144

>your's

lol

>> No.3553160

>>3553018
Then agnostics are told they are atheists.

>> No.3553169

>your's

>> No.3553204

>>3552883
>I can sum it up in 3 words
>Evolution is a lie
>3 words
Thankfully they're actors.

>> No.3553226

>>3553204
But texts were taken from fundamental christian forums.

>> No.3553240

>>3553018
I laughed so hard at this

>> No.3553468

OP conflates religion with ethics, presuming that religion is necessary for ethics and that non-religious people are inherently unethical.

Not quite.

Here's an article that questions this assumption:
http://www.spiegel.de/international/spiegel/0,1518,777281,00.html

I'd argue that religion warps and perverts ethics.
Past Christian crusades and inquisitions show this, as well as the modern Jihads. So do practices like stoning women who practice free love.

Abortion shows ethical perversions as well. Those who believe that life begins at conception would deny a woman's right to an abortion, even to save her own life. How is that ethical?

There's even a tiny fringe group of religionists who believe that sperm cells are life and that masturbation is mass murder!

>> No.3553472

>>3552774

Athest = one who doesn't believe in God. Not one that says they KNOW it doesn't exist, not one without morrals, etc. You're confusing morals with atheism and world issues and humans rights issues with views of atheism.

>> No.3553492

>>3553468
>There's even a tiny fringe group of religionists who believe that sperm cells are life and that masturbation is mass murder!

What is this group called, or do you know a forum where they post? I could have a lot of fun with this.

>> No.3553498
File: 12 KB, 446x412, 1312691880286.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3553498

>this thread
>im not even religious

>> No.3553501

>>3552774
I saw a sitcom like this once, just came in to say that till...

>>3553468
OP is a very obvious troll. You are arguing ethics with a troll. Kindly go fuck yourself.

>> No.3553504

>>3553498
If your not part of the solootion, your part of the problem.

>> No.3553551

Well, I'm just glad OP isn't capable of killing us thinking people like the christians did a few hundred years back.

He sure is a subhuman faggot.

>> No.3553565
File: 1.01 MB, 580x625, Cat drink.png [View same] [iqdb] [saucenao] [google]
3553565

>>3553504
If you're not part of the solution, you're part of the precipitate.
AHAHAHAHAHAHAHA

>> No.3553573

Prostitution should be legal. Keep the government out of it.

Abortions are necessary in certain situations.

Homosexuals are should be free to live the way they want.

>> No.3553602

This sounds like the most wonderful world ever, can I move there?

>> No.3553609

>assuming objective morality has anything to do with religion

>> No.3553620

OP's post is basically describing the Roman Empire.

>> No.3553664

>>3553492

The only group name I can come up with is "radically conservative Christian."
Here's a link to some old posts on the subject:
http://www.christianforums.com/t2506528-3/

>>3553501

Trolling or not, if OPs like this are left unchallenged they stand. I don't think this is healthy in a forum as widely read as this one. Of more relevance is the lack of math/science content. OP should be banned or the post moved to the B section.

>> No.3553674

>>3553573
Prostitution should be legal, but licensing and regular testing for disease should be mandatory.

>> No.3553730

ITT: In a perfect world.

>> No.3553955

>>3553674
How would you enforce and regulate that?

>> No.3553977

>>3553955

The same way they do in Nevada and for porn