/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.3268221]

my dads farm has been overrun with cats and i have been told to kill some of them (over 50, i need to kill over 20)

do you know of any thing i can do for SCIENCE with 20 cats

they are not friendly!!!

[Anonymous No.3268226]

>inb4 you get raided by /b/

[Anonymous No.3268244]

>>3268226
i know that is why i came here

[Anonymous No.3268250]

bump

[Anonymous No.3268258]

>>3268226
OH SHI-

Give them cookies, OP! Cookies and lots of love and friendship and kindness!

[EK !EKFQOBUFnQ No.3268259]

>i need to kill over 20
what the fuck, it sounds like a fucking world of warcraft quest or something.
and why did you change the caption on the picture??

why kill them, just have them removed. shouldnt be too difficult.

[Anonymous No.3268262]

Don't kill them you motherfucker. Find some way to drive them away.

[Anonymous No.3268266]

>>3268250

>bumping a thread that is still on first page
/b/tard detected

[John Smith !pIrnuxKLWs No.3268271]

>>3268259
Hi EK

[EK !EKFQOBUFnQ No.3268283]

>>3268271
Hi. i don't recall seeing you around. you new?

[Anonymous No.3268284]

>>3268259
it will be a lot cheaper to kill them with a 22.

i live to far out for the shelter to come out

i could rent cages is some one wants to donate some $$

[Anonymous No.3268287]

[Anonymous No.3268309]

Quickest way to kill a large number of cats at once would be poisoned food. But if you're on a farm something else might eat it.

Actually, if you're on a farm why not grab a .22, cheap enough if you haven't already got one, although every home should have at least one firearm, I would imagine on a farm it must be pretty much a necessity.

So yeah, take the afternoon off, grab a .22 and a couple of boxes of ammunition, some beers, and just sit down somewhere where you know a lot of cats should come and shoot them. Sounds like a pretty good way to spend a day, I'm pretty jelly.

[Anonymous No.3268310]

FUCK YEAH DUDE!

Dissection up the wall mother fucker.

Anaesthetize them and insert electrodes into their brains.

Possibilities are endless mother fucker!

[EK !EKFQOBUFnQ No.3268325]

>>3268284
isnt it illegal to just shoot them? animal rights apply to cats. RSPCA would be on your ass. not to mention that over 9000 /b/tards would want you dead.

[Anonymous No.3268328]

either 20 Schrödingers or a cat centipede

or some horrific combination

[Anonymous No.3268343]

>>3268325

>implying /b/tards aren't all 14 year olds with barely enough computer skill to open a web browser

Yeah, I really doubt there will be any implications from them.

[Anonymous No.3268354]

>>3268328

>cat centipede

Holy fuck THIS

But no seriously, they guy who said grab a .22 and a few beers and spend the day shooting them has the best idea.

[Anonymous No.3268355]

Go fucking Unit 731 on their little kitten bodies! Dissections! Vivisections! Siamese cat twins! Cyborg kitty with shotgun that you can control remotely! If you have left overs and they have no use, let them swim in battery acid or do a shotgun firing squad execution!

[Anonymous No.3268360]

>>3268309
that is what i am going to do but i would like to do some science with them

[murderer No.3268366]

donate/ sell them to who ever shaves them and packages them before sending them to highschoolers for disection. vet students gotta practice you know. and bio students too

now go use google for the details

[Anonymous No.3268371]

Get a dog

[Anonymous No.3268376]

Get a mouse trap, then make the mouse trap the trigger for a much bigger "cat trap"

[pascal !n5Z3VuZapw No.3268387]

>>3268325
Can shoot any non endangered animal on private propeety. Even some endangered ones

[Anonymous No.3268393]

any body know how to put electrodes in there brain with out killing them?

how many volts

remote control cat sounds fun

[Anonymous No.3268406]

>>3268360

Dunno then, maybe buy a few different types of ammunition and compare the wounds created by them. So have a chart for subsonic, lr, etc.

Ballistics is a field of science, and for someone living on a farm knowing the best types of ammunition to use on pests would be good information to have.

[Anonymous No.3268413]

Kill 25 and go GODLIKE

[Anonymous No.3268412]

>>3268360

Well all you can do is dissections unless you keep come of them alive. That's the only way you learn something interesting, is by running test while they are alive.

[Anonymous No.3268418]

>>3268406
good idea thanks

[Insinuates gODS No.3268421]

How fast do they need to die?

There are some experiments I would like to have conducted with radioactivity, but I doubt you have the time or experience to execute these.

[Anonymous No.3268423]

>>3268406

This guy has the right idea, afterwards you cam dissect the carcasses and see the wound chanels, fragmentation, which rounds tumble, and properly compare every different type of ammunition far more efficiently than you'd find on ballistic gel.

[Anonymous No.3268425]

Sedate them with food and then put all the sleeping cats in a big bag.

Put a dog in the bag too and throw it in a very shallow creek

guaranteed laughs.

[Anonymous No.3268436]

>>3268421
i can do any experiment if you pay

[pascal !n5Z3VuZapw No.3268452]

It used to be a torture to fill a pit with rats or cats and strap a human across the entrance.

Perhaps keep the cats as pets until such a need arrises?

[Anonymous No.3268453]

what can i use to put them to sleep??

[Anonymous No.3268455]

Why not just do some experiments?

How far can they fall without dying, or getting fatally injured?
How many volts can they survive?
What's the deadly doze of heroin?
How much can you contract the volume of their body?
How long can they stay under water?
How long can they live without food or water? Symptoms of overdoses?
What happens if you inject X or Y into the blood stream?
For how long can they swim?
What have you do to make it go insane?

[Anonymous No.3268457]

replace man with kitten, and you get the idea.

[Anonymous No.3268464]

If you absolutely must do this, strive for the most painless death.

[Anonymous No.3268465]

>>3268453

A massive rock

[EK !EKFQOBUFnQ No.3268468]

>>3268452
wow!

...you got some fucking issues, Pascal.

[Anonymous No.3268471]

Ge a couple of dogs that aren't complete losers.

[pascal !n5Z3VuZapw No.3268479]

>>3268468
I was just trying to convince op not to kill the kitties. I doubt he will ever find a reason to make a death pit.

[Anonymous No.3268480]

>>3268455

that sounds good but they are very hard to hold
they are wild

[Anonymous No.3268488]

>>3268455

Cats can survive from very tall heights. Something like if the cat gets dropped from the 7th floor it has no time to reach terminal velocity. But if it is dropped from the 9th or 10th floor it can.

The higher up it is, the more chance it has of doing what the flying squirrel can do.

Memory's a little hazy on the subject, I watched it on QI a while back. I'll see if there's anything to back it up

[Anonymous No.3268491]

>>3268488
cats can spread their winged appendages and fly?

[EK !EKFQOBUFnQ No.3268496]

well i'm strongly against cruelty to animals but I cant stop OP doing whatever he wants, so theres no point worrying about it.
*EK exist thread*

[Anonymous No.3268497]

>>3268479
i dont like the idea of killing kittens. but there is about 20 kittens that i kinda need to get rid of

[Anonymous No.3268498]

http://www.bigsiteofamazingfacts.com/how-can-a-cat-be-dropped-from-any-height-and-survive-unhurt-and
-what-is-the-terminal-velocity-of-a-cat

[Anonymous No.3268504]

see how well they cooperate if leashed together in pairs, then 3s, 4s etc

[Anonymous No.3268510]

You could use a couple for dissection, thats what we use in some courses.

[Anonymous No.3268511]

Next week OP makes a thread on how his dad's farm is overrun with rats.

[Anonymous No.3268512]

>>3268491

Flying squirrels don't have wings either, they spread out their flaps of skin to act as a sort of parachute

[pascal !n5Z3VuZapw No.3268515]

>>3268497
How about contacting a humane society to cage and release?

[Anonymous No.3268518]

You should buy yourself a male Savannah F1. These are the only legal exotic cat's you can own.

Let it fuck around and create a massive harem of exotic kittens. Sell the exotic kittens and make fucking CASH. You can sell the kittens for 1000dollars a pop nigger. DO IT

Altough you need to invest 10k for a good savannah. This is a major economic opportunity OP.

[Anonymous No.3268527]

>>3268510
i was going to do that, i was going to see if sci had any other good ideas first

[Anonymous No.3268529]

[Anonymous No.3268530]

>>3268518
No I mean, buy a Serval.

Savannah is what the kittens are called between a domestic cat and a serval.

Fuck science, get the cash bro.

[Anonymous No.3268542]

Dicide them into various groups by sex, let the groups locked together starve, watch blodhsed, take surviving cat of each group, nurture them, bandage wounds if possible, let them heal, lock them into groups until you have like 3 or 4 of each sex, have them breed, start from the begining.
EVOLUTION!
Plus an army of cats.
Of course I'm just joking and you shouldn't do this.

[Anonymous No.3268554]

>>3268530
i dont feel like spending 10k, and then ending up with more cats

[Anonymous No.3268569]

>>3268221

Build yourself a catapult

[Anonymous No.3268582]

>>3268569
that is a good idea. i know they can land a fall, but a angled fall?

[Anonymous No.3268585]

You could attempt 20 brain transplants.

[Anonymous No.3268588]

LSD laced food.
Gorilla costume.
Lasers

[Anonymous No.3268597]

>>3268554
There are savannah kittens sold for 40k.

You have no idea what gold mine you have infront of you. It might be your way of becoming rich

[Anonymous No.3268612]

>>3268588

Trying that on humans would be fucking hilarious

[Anonymous No.3268615]

Become a cat. That is, challenge their leader to a fight to the death. Accept challenges from other cats and kill them also. Use the remaining cats as personal body guards.

[Anonymous No.3268618]

>>3268588
>cat on LSD
Done already

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=EJEw3A_QO9o

[Anonymous No.3268622]

I HAVE A FLAWLESS PLAN.
Get a group of stray dogs and let them fight the cats. You'll have to do nothing else!

[Anonymous No.3268624]

>>3268597
i like the way you think

but these cats are mean i don't thank they will bread

i may do this some time in the future when the cats are a little nicer thanks for the idea

[Anonymous No.3268626]

Jesus Christ, what is wrong with most of you people? Just kill them humanely if you absolutely must, there's no need to make them suffer. No branch of science inflicts needless suffering on animals, so if you're doing anything that hurts them without any benefit to society, you're not doing any science at all.

[Anonymous No.3268636]

buy some catnip plants and secretly plant them on a neighbours farm.

not your cat problem anymore

[Anonymous No.3268640]

>>3268626
> No branch of science inflicts needless suffering on animals

LOL

[Anonymous No.3268646]

>>3268640

It's true, though. In any lab that works with animals, you have to fill out an application before you can actually use any. The benefits of your research must outweigh the mental and physical stress you put the animals through, or you don't get your animals. This applies to pretty much any vertebrate lab animal.

[Anonymous No.3268660]

>>3268646
Except Hans Ruesch already debunked that.

[Anonymous No.3268669]

>>3268660

How exactly did he do that? I'm not sure who he is, but if I look him up he just seems to be another animal rights activist, there are tons of them.

In any case, I'm all for animal experiments, but only if they're actually useful in some way. Most labs answer to an ethical committee,so it's not as if the scientific community doesn't agree.

[Anonymous No.3268670]

>>3268221
get an air rifle. shit will be so cash

[Anonymous No.3268680]

>>3268221
>rspca
implying you live in england
meaning, HOW THE FUCK ARE THERE 50 CATS ROAMING ON YOUR FARM

[Anonymous No.3268689]

>>3268680

i live in America Kentucky

[Anonymous No.3268699]

Use their bodies to summon a demon OP, and once you capture a demon, kill it, and use it to summon a stronger demon. Keep on doing that until you have the ability to summon Satan. Oh yea, leave one cat alive for Satan to live in. Later when you have no use for Satan use him to summon God.

[Anonymous No.3268702]

gas chamber.

oh, better yet, give them a fuckton of psychoactive drugs. acid, meth, caffeine, weed, etc.

oh, even better, both!

[Anonymous No.3268722]

Buy some cat food and lace it with cyanide.

[Anonymous No.3268728]

>>3268699
sounds fun

could freak out religious people

[Anonymous No.3268742]

>>3268702
only have caffeine (coffee) how would you recommend getting it into a cat. i have syringes

[Anonymous No.3268753]

>>3268699

[Anonymous No.3268758]

How we kill kittens in my country:

1: Put them in a degradable sack with stones in it.
2: Drown them.
3: Bury the sack

easy.

[Anonymous No.3268760]

>>3268742
lol. u expect to chase 50 cats around a field with a syringe

[Anonymous No.3268776]

>>3268760
that is the problem i cant get very close to them

[Anonymous No.3268780]

i need something to feed them that will not kill them but put them to sleep

[Anonymous No.3268787]

>>>/k/ will give you everything you need

[Anonymous No.3268792]

>>3268758
that is boring
i want to do something interesting with them

[Anonymous No.3268798]

>>3268758
Poor kitties : (
Just get your cats desexed, goddamnit

[The Doctor No.3268817]

Domesticate and train them to feed on intruders.

[Anonymous No.3268819]

>>3268798
ok if you pay

[Anonymous No.3268834]

>>3268819
It's only $50 or so. Free if you buy your cats from the pound.
If you can't afford that then you're too poor to have pets

[Anonymous No.3268864]

>>3268834
if i wanted pets i would not be trying to get rid of them

[Anonymous No.3268873]

But some radioactive materials off unitednuclear and put it in some catfood and see what happens after a few months of eating uranium.

[Anonymous No.3268891]

>farm
>no explosives?!?!

maybe someone already posted but sir, you are missing out on a great opportunity for some good old roman style, surrealistic and sadistic fun.

I'm not going to post the fun stuff but you need some booms, also rig up a remote detonator using some hillybilly electronics. Now that you've got that shit ready to go, you git yerself a big ass bag of catfood. Also the .22, you need that to finish them off.

draw as many cats to the food as possible, hide behind something enough so you can watch and flip the switch. Hopefully it goes off and fucks them all to shit. Then run in with the .22 and finish off the wounded, taliban style.

is this wrong?

[Anonymous No.3268915]

>>3268891
>>3268891
OH yeah the science part: you see how big of an explosion i, fucks x number of cats per explosive, per y amount of cat food.

yeah baby

[Anonymous No.3268926]

>>3268891
Objectively no, but it makes a lot of people sad because they're evolutionarily programmed to get good feelings from protecting things.

There will most likely be consequences.

[Anonymous No.3268950]

>>3268926
fine we'll do it the humane way: a big ass duffel bag, a couple sledgehammers, and a kiddie pool.

[Anonymous No.3268954]

>>3268891
sounds fun

[Anonymous No.3268957]

>>3268950
that's going to trigger the same alarm bells for most people.

[Anonymous No.3268995]

Set out food for a few days, record data about activity around food.

Kill ~5 per day around food and record data.

Much else would be inhumane.

[Anonymous No.3269008]

This is really the funniest thread I've seen in a while!

[Anonymous No.3269009]

>>3268995
what data

[Anonymous No.3269014]

OP, I think you're missing out on a great opportunity here to choose the impossible. I know farms sometimes have ponds.

[Anonymous No.3269024]

1.) Capture them
2.) Release them in some forest far away.
3.) Go back in a few years to find that they've destroyed the local rodent population.
4.) More time for dead things to decay.
5.) Disease spreads
6.) End of world
7.) The End

[Anonymous No.3269027]

>>3269009
numbers, rates, habits, just take detailed notes its hard to have too much data.

[Anonymous No.3269032]

>>3268354
implying they wont all hide as soon as the first shot dead

I would suggest a high powered silenced pellet gun, that way they wont get scared and hide. make sure to calibrate it before going to the hunt. also camouflage.

[Anonymous No.3269048]

>>3269032
I'm telling you, kitty food IED is the only solution to this varmit infestation

[Anonymous No.3269060]

>>3268221


DON'T TOUCH CATS YOU BASTARDS

[Anonymous No.3269067]

>>3269048
yea thats the most efficient way, but mine is the most fun

[Anonymous No.3269106]

Just use the Spyder III to make them blind.

They will die on their own. You don't even have to touch them.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4Rl3w8nG1kU

[Anonymous No.3269112]

Put heart monitors and transmitters in them. Then phone Peta.

[Anomynous No.3269545]

An AR-15 with 30-round STANG mags,A supressor,And a Grip

[Anonymous No.3269863]

1) Get twenty boxes and twenty guillotines triggered by a radium switch which may or may not be tripped according to the laws of Quantum Mechanics.
2) Put Cats in Boxes with necks under guillotines close boxes and set the switch
3)??????????
4)Profit

[Anonymous No.3269873]

>>3269863
You forgot the part where you look in the box.

[Anonymous No.3269889]

Give them to shelters, why kill them?