/sci/ - Science & Math

[снайпер No.3039444]

http://www.newscientist.com/article/mg21028115.400-talk-with-a-dolphin-via-underwater-translation-ma
chine.html

tl;dr scientists think they will be able to do two-way communication with dolphins within the year.

[Anonymous No.3039475]

>SCREE-EEEEK CLICK CLICK
>translating ...
STOP FUCKING EATING OUR FISH YOU COCKMONGLERS!!!!

[Anonymous No.3039483]

>>3039444
>in 20 years scientists and dolphin americans protest for dolphin marriage

>slippery slope``

[Anonymous No.3039488]

They cut NASA's budget for this bullshit?

[Anonymous No.3039494]

Oh fuck, this is from that thread about dolphin vaginas, isn't it?

[Anonymous No.3039502]

when will moot open /dp/ so we can post about dolphin porn

[Anonymous No.3039504]

>>3039483

Sounds good to me, bro.

[Anonymous No.3039528]

This is insane. I feel better about this project than any other science project this year. The though of being able to communicate fully with another species is mindblowing. I wonder how intelligent they are..

[Anonymous No.3039534]

>>3039504
You must be an engineer.

>Dolphins have prehensile penises and like a good rape fest

[Anonymous No.3039539]

>>3039534
Sounds even better.

Also:
>>3039528
Startide Rising.

[Anonymous No.3039548]

>>3039528
more intelligent than we are i can assure you

[Anonymous No.3039561]

>>3039548
That much is uncertain as of this point, although as they're among the more intelligent mammalian species, I'd imagine that they'd be pretty close to us. If not for their specialized bodies, they may've been able to follow a similar evolutionary path to us.

[Anonymous No.3039571]

>>3039548
Speak for yourself, dumbass.

Who funds this shit?

[Anonymous No.3039594]

..bridger...light...

[Anonymous No.3039639]

>mfw scientists have had perfect two-way communication with dolphins for years, but bury it because of the evil, fucked up shit that dolphins think and say ALL THE TIME

[Anonymous No.3039656]

they would probably say:
>so long andddddddd.. thank you for the fish

[Anonymous No.3039657]

So long and thanks for all the fish

[Anonymous No.3039660]

>>3039656
>>3039657
hitchhicker-mind

[Anonymous No.3039674]

>>3039639
Nah, it's because they constantly preach objectivism and an undying devotion to ayn rand (which was read to them to see if they could spot the bullshit)

[Anonymous No.3039705]

>>3039639
So they're burying the evidence that dolphins are just like us?

[Deist No.3039899]

I would have sex with a dolphin given the opportunity.

just throwing it out there

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3039935]

>"eek eeek eek eek ekee eeek eek ekke eeek ekk ekkeeek-"
>translation module activated
>translation to full power
> "-ll kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill"

[Anonymous No.3039982]

>>3039935
>translation to full power

What?

What would translation at half power do? Get half the words wrong?

>maybe kill, possibly murder, could be kill, maybe murder, sort of like hurt to death, ???

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3040001]

>>3039982
>eek eek kill eekill eek eek kill eek?
or more like
>como esta, me llamo bob, how you doing?

[Anonymous No.3040006]

2012 - we first communicate with dolphins
2015 - we exterminate dolphins since they cannot shut up about ho much bigger their penis is. Whales are next.

[Anonymous No.3040015]

>>3039656
>>3039657

That pretty much sums it up.

[Anonymous No.3040033]

>>3040006
HAHAHA

but it's true. its inevitable that we have the largest

[sage No.3040045]

>>3039982
no, it'd be like google translate 2 times through german->english->gemanr rather than 1 times

[Anonymous No.3040110]

>>3040045
>1 times
>2 times
please leave /sci/ and never come back

[Anonymous No.3040169]

>>3039935
>>translation module activated
>> "-ll kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill kill"

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3040208]

>>3040169
they look so peaceful and majestic
who would suspect they spend 22 hours a day thinking of ways to kill

[Anonymous No.3040253]

>>3039660
>>3039657
>>3039656

[Anonymous No.3040267]

I have a dolphin waifu who I visit everyday at the beach during sunset. She loves to swim with me and gets very excited when I bring her fish. Every few days we have sex, too.

[Anonymous No.3040309]

Dolphin are actually planning to take our place as the dominant animal of planet Earth. As soon as we decrypt their communication system, the dolphin-human war will begin.

[Anonymous No.3040328]

FUCK YEAH MAMMALS!

[снайпер No.3040444]

>>3040309
Quite frankly... we'd probably be better off with dolphins in charge.

[Anonymous No.3040495]

I can't wait to see the inevitable conservative butthurt

>b-b-b-but dolphins can't think, they're animals! LIBERAL CONSPIRACY!!

Man, they'll throw a huge shitfit when it is proposed that we treat dolphins the same as humans.

But just think about it 5000 years from now, if it turns out Dolphins actually ARE sapient. We're off our rock, two sapient species from one planet, best bros 4ever. You know they'd stick with us against the evil aliens out there.

[Anonymous No.3040515]

>>3040495
>Man, they'll throw a huge shitfit when it is proposed that we treat dolphins the same as humans.
I might too.

But then again...
>We're off our rock, two sapient species from one planet, best bros 4ever

That'd be pretty damn cool.

[Anonymous No.3040517]

What? Who gives a shit? They have nothing of importance to say. They're fucking dolphins. What do you expect them to talk about? Whats the fucking point. They're fucking animals. Goddamn. Aliens don't talk to us either let's take a fucking example in that and don't waste money talking to lesser forms. The only thing that we will get out of this is more liberal PETA faggots

[Anonymous No.3040557]

I'm getting stronger and stronger David Brin-vibes here.
>humans and dolphins against hostile aliens
>human and dolphin sex
>human-dolphin equality

Gotta read the books again.

[sage No.3040600]

>>3040517
They'll explain why they rape other female dolphins in large orgies.

This would help mormons and republicans accept who they are.

[Anonymous No.3040608]

Just because dolphins may be sapient doesn't mean that they will have anything to offer other than their meat.

[Colonel Coffee Mug !phJ7yIcs.Q No.3040668]

>2044

[Anonymous No.3040686]

>>3040668
Dammit CCM. That's a shark, not a dolphin. There's nothing to be gained from genetically altering those dunder-headed fish.

[Colonel Coffee Mug !phJ7yIcs.Q No.3040699]

>>3040686

You know now that I think about it, you're right.

And since I don't have any dolphin furry this random sample off e621.net will have to do.

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3040716]

>>3040515
>build giant tanker ships in space
>portable environment for Dolphinauts, once communication is opened they can be taught easily how to manipulate their ship
>in 5000 years Dolphins will swim the seas of alien worlds

[Anonymous No.3040723]

>>3040686
Though the furry (placoid scaly?) picture is highly disturbing, sharks are NOT stupid animals. Granted, they're nowhere close to as intelligent as a dolphin, but they're nonetheless pretty damn smart.

So we start talking to, then uplift dolphins... then what? What do we do with them? Do we tax them? Do we give them citizenship? Do we teach them about forms of government and economic philosophies? Do we enslave them?

What the hell use is it? I admit that it's cool and would be fascinating to speak with another intelligent being that isn't human but the utility just isn't there.

[Colonel Coffee Mug !phJ7yIcs.Q No.3040735]

>>3040723

>What the hell use is it? I admit that it's cool and would be fascinating to speak with another intelligent being that isn't human but the utility just isn't there.

Oh what use is a newborn child?

[Axel the Possum No.3040756]

.... Seriously, Coffee Mug, you used to post cool stuff and now you're posting uncensored porn? The hell, man?

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3040757]

>>3040723
>"testing, testing, is this thing on?"
>"i hear you. sup, human?"
>"not much...not much...what's going on with you, Dolphin?
>"same 'ol same 'ol....catching fish, blowing bubble-rings, recreational intercourse...can't complain.
> "cool, cool. .......So....."
>"did you guys want something, or..?"
>"oh, not really...we just wanted to see if we could talk to you or not."
"Huh. while you're at it, you wanna lay off with the tuna nets? Kthx."

[Colonel Coffee Mug !phJ7yIcs.Q No.3040768]

>>3040756

The last one was just something I randomly pulled off jeez.

[Anonymous No.3040771]

So will they be able to find out if dolphins are self-aware with this thing?

[Anonymous No.3040786]

hahah when i learned about how intelligent dolphins are, I myself wanted to create a way to communicate with them. looks like someone else had the same idea.

[Anonymous No.3040793]

>mfw people start trying to convert them
>mfw when al qaeda turns them into extremists and they start replacing humans as suicide bombers

[Anonymous No.3040794]

>>3040735
Very little. It's an economic burden and a legal nightmare. Don't believe me? Look at the sheer amount of legal wrangling done over fetus' rights and child custody/protection.

Now let's imagine an entire species we know is sentient but can't use tools. They can talk, play, interact, etc. which is nice but ultimately useless for anything but tourist dollars. They can't help us fish on the (depressingly massive) scale that would be economically viable so what the hell do they do? I admit that a few could be employed by the world's navies but there's only so much use for that. I wouldn't imagine too many dolphins would be keen on choosing to hang around super powerful sonar signals, finding spent ordnance, etc. I could see some dolphins joining the North Korean navy if only for an opportunity to kill the living shit out of some Japanese.

How do you interact with a dolphin on a friendly basis? Do you sit at by the dock drinking a beer, pouring a 40 into the things's mouth? You talk about work, politics, economics, science whatnot... the dolphin informs you that he saw some awesome fish and engaged in no fewer than 20 recreational sex acts that day. What's to gain from this interaction aside from depressing humans?

[Anonymous No.3040801]

>>3040771
Maybe.

[Anonymous No.3040805]

all they're going to talk about is eating fish

[Anonymous No.3040806]

>>3040793
>mfw when al qaeda turns them into extremists and they start replacing humans as suicide bombers
>mfw WWII

[Colonel Coffee Mug !phJ7yIcs.Q No.3040808]

>>3040794

Well we can always give them bionic arms though.

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3040813]

>>3040794
>You talk about work, politics, economics, science whatnot... the dolphin informs you that he saw some awesome fish and engaged in no fewer than 20 recreational sex acts that day
I'd be best friends with a dolphin and hi-five his flipper when he told me that.

[Anonymous No.3040819]

>>3040793
"Today the USS Charleston has been sunk by dolphin members of Al Qaeda..."

[Axel the Possum No.3040826]

If we can find a way to communicate with dolphins...

And I mean, as in, really communicate, not just Koko the Gorilla style simplistic stuff...

It means intelligence evolved not once but twice on our planet, and in the same time frame, which is encouraging for the possibility of extraterrestrial life. It also means that humans are not quite so special. Most of all, it means that, for the first time, humans aren't really so alone in the universe; we share our world with another species. We can talk with them, give them culture and understanding.

There could come a world where humans and dolphins live side by side.

That'd be pretty fuck-awesome in my book.

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3040839]

>>3040808
>slippery slope
>pic related

[Anonymous No.3040841]

>>3040794
We could enlist them into the coast guard...
Or maybe we will find out that they are very philosophical and we can learn profound truths from them...
Or maybe they will consent to prostitution...

[Anonymous No.3040843]

>>3040826
so where should we start, giving all the dolphins lungs or giving all the humans gils

[Anonymous No.3040845]

>>3040808
AWESOME! An entire species that lives perfectly adequate lives by their standards that need to be fitted with expensive prosthesis just to work. That's another problem, work and human-style living in general. These guys find all the fish they want and we hardly have anything to give them that they don't really already have. They'll work to buy what? Booze, drugs? The coral reef will be the new ghetto.

If you could communicate with an ancient human hunter-gatherer, his world is so simple he most likely would want nothing to do with any technology outside of weapons with which to kill prey more easily. Ask a hunter gatherer if he/she'd prefer to spend the days in an office or building something... he'd outright tell you to fuck off. Sure, they might enjoy science, engineering, economics, business, or whatever but that requires education....
HOW THE HELL DO WE TEACH DOLPHINS? What dolphin would willingly endure sitting (floating?) in a classroom for hours on end while his/her compatriots are catching fish and fucking?

[Anonymous No.3040847]

>>3040826
and considering a lot of the human brain is used just in keeping balance, dolphins might even be more "intelligent" than humans in some regard.

They don't have opposable thumbs though, so getting them to do our math homework might be hard

[Anonymous No.3040848]

>>3040826
it would also mean that the christian god is not real. aaaaahhh yeeeaaahhh.

[Anonymous No.3040852]

goddamn dolphins. they better not start voting

[Anonymous No.3040857]

>>3040826
Just think of how hard that would hit religion

[Axel the Possum No.3040860]

>>3040843

>giving all the dolphins lungs or giving all the humans gils
>giving all the dolphins lungs
>dolphins
>lungs

[Anonymous No.3040865]

>>3040857
The dolphins have their own god and they're going to try to convert us

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3040871]

>>3040865
>>3040857

[Anonymous No.3040879]

>>3040848
>>3040857
>>3040865
Stfu about religion, this is a dolphin thread.

Here's a dolphin pop-.. oh wait.

[Anonymous No.3040885]

hey dolphin, jesus only died for our sins not yours

[Anonymous No.3040891]

>>3040879
All hail the Sea-Pope.

[Axel the Possum No.3040895]

Dolphins don't really need to be good at anything. We can't integrate them readily into our society; we live in two different arenas of existence. We might try and educate some if we start building deep-water cities, teach them and what-not, but they can't provide anything of much use to us and vice versa (except, perhaps, for that we can provide them with both food and medicine).

[Anonymous No.3040905]

>>3040843
I see what you did there.

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3040929]

>>3040895
>implying communication with other terestrial intelligences won't give us valuable context for understanding ourselves and other potential life in the cosmos

[Anonymous No.3040959]

So what happens when a corporation tries to enlist them as workers and then gets told to fuck off?

Or when one gets raised from scratch so it is basicly more of a human in a dolphin body because it understands our abstract concepts etc.

[Axel the Possum No.3040968]

>>3040929

Well, there certainly is that. Communicating with an alien mind would be very handy practice on such a close basis. However, I meant in terms of integrating them as a society. We can't interact with them on a meaningful basis in situ.

[Anonymous No.3040970]

>>3040517
fuck off.

The fact that humans aren't the only intelligent species capable of communicating using high order syntax is a very, very important discovery.

[Anonymous No.3040978]

>Dolphins communicate, we educate them, make interface for using internet, they learn about japanese.
2035, first law suit interspecie, dolphins against japan, with dolphins lawyers. On both side.

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3040993]

>>3040968
true that. I'd be happier just knowing that the current society of dolphins could be communicated with, as oppose to attempts to integrate them into ours. there's plenty to learn from them, but building underwater assembly lines for them to work at for us is proooobably not gonna turn out well for anyone involved

[Anonymous No.3041013]

>mfw they start having anal sex with furries who want 2ft dolphine penis.

Srsly... guise stop

[North! !/RC/Wj9Ve. No.3041026]

>>3040978
well they shouldn't have Hiroshima/Nagasaki'd.

[Anonymous No.3041042]

>>3040978
Oh here we go, Orientalism.

Let's herp a derp over some ancient village's practice and ignore other whale ramming from shipping which causes 90% of all man caused whale/dolphin deaths

[Anonymous No.3041050]

>Wild Dolphin Project
Supported by:
Anonymous Foundation

[Axel the Possum No.3041051]

>>3040978

All I can imagine is a group of dolphins in suits getting beaten up to squeaking and clicks, which translate out to "SPECIES TRAITOR!"

[Anonymous No.3041052]

I wonder if you could teach a dolphin to excel in abstract fields. Could a dolphin learn simple math? I remember reading that Daniel Everett tried teaching math to the Piraha people and failed. Even if the dolphins are intelligent, they still can't think outside the bounds of their language.

Let's say they're smart and can learn math/science/philosophy/whatever. How would they write? I suppose if you were translating their language in real time anyways, you could have a TV display visual feedback.

[Anonymous No.3041062]

>>3040993
Exactly. They are their own species. Just because we can speak to them doesn't mean they owe us anything.

The most we should gain from them is a deeper understanding of our world.

If they turn out to be more intelligent then we thought, then it would have the potential to be a vary maturing experience for our species ideas of ethics as well. What will we do with the dolphins we have in captivity? will we step up our enforcement of of laws that protect dolphins from things like fishing? How will we deal with countries like Japan who still hunt and kill dolphins?

[Anonymous No.3041083]

>>3041062
*facepalm*
>I take the Alaskan Grizzly Bear to court for killing my grand father!

[Anonymous No.3041093]

I think people are getting a bit too much out of this news.

It'll be interesting from a linguistics perspective, but they're not intelligent enough to cause us ethical challenges.

[Anonymous No.3041108]

>>3041093
I agree. People are taking the dolphin's mindless babble too seriously.

[Anonymous No.3041121]

>>3041093
That remains to be seen.

[Anonymous No.3041138]

>>3041121
Not really, we've already done extensive testing of dolphin intelligence and while they're sharp for the animal kingdom, they're dumbasses next to us.

[Anonymous No.3041143]

>>3040857

I get the feeling that even the most sophisticated conversations with dolphins wouldn't change anyone's views on religion. Religion has emerged in just about every human civilization, it's too much of a natural human instinct to change under any circumstances. Sure there might be a few more atheists but the majority of the public will still remain religious.>>3040857

[Anonymous No.3041154]

>>3041138
Sounds like those studies would be an interesting read. Links?

[Anonymous No.3041169]

>>3041154
Look them up yourself, I'm not your personal encyclopedia.

[Anonymous No.3041173]

IN THE YEAR 30XX...

[Anonymous No.3041174]

>>3041052
>>3041052
>>3041052

>Daniel Everett tried teaching math to the Piraha people and failed.

He tried teaching maths to adult Pirahã, and they got frustrated and gave up.
Pirahã children raised by non-Pirahã learn maths just fine.

[Anonymous No.3041178]

>>3041154
>Train US Navy dolphins to mark Iraqi sea mines
>Training works, proof of intelligence.
>Lose some dolphins when they touch them too hard.
>Dolphins only due task for fish reward much like dog tricks/food based behavior.

[Anonymous No.3041182]

>>3041169
No, I'd rather you back your claim up with evidence, as is the science way.

[Anonymous No.3041194]

>>3041182
Except this is a casual discussion, and my statement is not only common sense but common knowledge and you could verify it for yourself with a 5 minute Google search.

>I am not your personal encyclopedia

[Anonymous No.3041204]

>>3041194
If it's that easy, I don't understand why you have such a problem with doing it.

[Anonymous No.3041214]

>>3041204
Goddammit youre the one who thinks dolphins (and other mammals) are Pokemon like human sociability.

[Anonymous No.3041215]

>>3041204
You're assuming you're communicating with a human being right now. That's an interesting assumption. Can you support that philosophically for me? Quote an authority on the topic to support your position.

[Anonymous No.3041222]

>>3041214
What? Where the hell did that come from?

[снайпер No.3041236]

>>3040771
We already know dolphins are self-aware.

[Anonymous No.3041462]

Isn't the main problem behind such a device eliciting a response from the dolphins? I mean, we'd be quick to blabber through it since we'll've made it, but you're not exactly guaranteed responses on behalf of the dolphins.

[Anonymous No.3041530]

Fuck dolphins.

they kill for fun

how about we talk to elephants or gorillas? those guys are nice.

[Anonymous No.3041545]

I'm surprised people are so selfish as to worry about what we are to gain from this.

What's to gain? Interactions between a whole species, we will learn how they see, what they see, how they think, and so much more. It'll open our eyes to what another species thinks of us. Their thoughts could be different and revealing, opening up many new theories in science and in general.

Even more so if they're capable of learning things like math.

[Anonymous No.3041558]

>>3041530
>Dolphins catch a seal cub
>Beat it around for 1/2 hr not eating it
>Caught on camera/youtube and hippies gasp

Hippies, at the end of the day atleast humans have SOME culture and ethics.

You'll be getting translations like

>ZOMG F-FISH FISHFISHFISHFISH HUE HUE HUE GIMME FISHES HUMAN

[Anonymous No.3041573]

mfw scrolling my mouse wheel sounds like dolphin speak

mfw it translates into "miracles everywhere in this bitch"

[Anonymous No.3042283]

Look at the human culture only 40 years ago, with Youth Bulge Theory and whatnot, ourselves are completely alien to us in ideology and beliefs. What about TEH DOALPHANES

[Anonymous No.3042317]

This is fucking amazing. Thanks OP for the link. This is the stuff of fairytales; talking to animals. Anybody that says this is bad can suck a fucking dick.

[Anonymous No.3042320]

>>3041194
Wait. You're asking HIM to back up YOUR claims?

You are without a doubt, the most stupid man to have ever been born.

[Anonymous No.3042369]

>>3039444
Cool!

[Anonymous No.3042379]

>>3039444

Just imagine the conversational material of a horny dolphin.

>Tits.
>Tits.
>Tits.
>FISH
>Tits.
>GTFO

[Anonymous No.3043549]

That sounds so cool.

By the way am I the only person that thought of this from reading this paragraph?

>The researchers don't know what these units might be. But the algorithms they are using are designed to sift through any unfamiliar data set and pick out interesting features (see "Pattern detector"). The software does this by assuming an average state for the data and labelling features that deviate from it. It then groups similar types of deviations - distinct sets of clicks or whistles, say - and continues to do so until it has extracted all potentially interesting patterns.

[Anonymous No.3043663]

>>3043549

Yeah, it's actually somewhat like that with the difference that it would be still us who had to guess which pattern means what.

captcha: research elchnonf