/sci/ - Science & Math

[Anonymous No.2973454]

embarrassing moments in your college class:

>have presentation in biology
>go through presentation, all good
>teacher asks to go back to a slide
>noticed that I accidentally put that viruses build resistance to antibiotics
>mf
>"oops I was just saying infections in general"
>mfw the next presentations were way worse of a trainwreck

[Anonymous No.2973471]

>have presentation in physics class
>stay up all night working on a first rate powerpoint presentation
>don't have time for good breakfast, eat mcdonalds
>class starts, get in front of class
>turn around to pull the screen down
>shit my pants
>just shitting my pants fucking everywhere
>everywhere in stunned silence
>I run away
>failed physics class

[Anonymous No.2973503]

>>2973471
I have a similar story.
>Get in front for a presentation over chemistry
>Worked it all out the night before, spent hours rehearsing it.
>Get in front of class.
>Pull down screen.
>Get ready to begin speaking.
>Let out a gigantic, long fart, which ended in me shitting my pants, very obviously too.
>There was a disgustingly wet sound when I shit
>Whole room smells like shit
>Take a deep breath, look around, realize that I am doomed, and continue shitting in my pants
>mfw

I shit you not, this happened.

[Anonymous No.2973517]

>gym class in elementary school
>dodgeball, fucking awesome, I love dodgeball
>last man on my team
>get double teamed by opposition.
>catch one balls. Other one drills me in the stomach
>get the wind knocked out of me.
>Fall to the ground and hit my head on pavement, get knocked out
>when I awake, no one is standing around me accept my coach
>everyone else is looking at me in disgust from afar
>realize my shorts are filled with shit
>get up, walk to bathroom.
>Realize I don't have a change of shorts

[Anonymous No.2973523]

I don't think those shorts are short enough.

You learn to grow up and realize people (including yourself) make mistakes so when you do make one, you don't end up posting them on /sci/.

[Anonymous No.2973526]

>sitting in class
>have to poop all class
>teacher walks out for a smoke break. People start fucking around
>realize now is a good time to let out a little fart to releave the preassure
>little farts turns into huge wet fart
>everyone stares
>I laugh it off
>don't realize until 10 minutes later that I smell and that I had actually shit my pants

[Anonymous No.2973534]

Why is everyone telling fart jokes?

Starting to sound suspiciously artificial...

[Anonymous No.2973538]

I have to give a powerpoint presentation on the 9th... I hate those so much, I've gotten to the point where I've been selecting the quickest slide transitions possible, so as to minimize my time spent up in front of everyone.

[Anonymous No.2973557]

>>2973526

That is why I never farting in public is my iron clad rule. It doesn't matter how good you think or are, or what your track record is... the bottomline is that those types of situations are always due to overconfidence.

[Anonymous No.2973560]

this thread is fucking hilarious.

[Anonymous No.2973567]

>>2973538

>slide transitions

[Anonymous No.2973588]

>First day of teaching my new college physics class
>Spend ages in front of mirror getting dressed to look my best
>about a minute until class starts, I walk out of my conference room
>trip on metal door latch
>fall onto my face in front of my class
>smack my stomach on my arm
>shit into my pants
>crawl back into conference room alone, cry for hours
>finally must courage to come out
>dean approaches me as I try to stealth leave
>fires me and asks what the hell happened
>ignore him and run to my car
>car won't start
>smoke starts coming out of engine
>too shy and in shame to call for help
>sleep in my car
>walk home the next day and leave my car at the school
>and now it's been about 4 years and I'm working in a shitty community college where half my class is ghetto and the other half poor people
>oh well.

[Anonymous No.2973596]

>>2973588
*muster

[Anonymous No.2973599]

inb4 "spaghetti falls out of my pockets"

[Anonymous No.2973620]

>>2973588
>>2973526
>>2973517
>>2973503

hey samefag

you either need to see a doctor about your lack of sphincter or come up with some better fucking stories
>>2973471

[Anonymous No.2973622]

Well, everyone else is talking about shit, I might as well do it too.
>In physics class
>Professor is giving a lecture about the Biot-Savart Law
>Oh god, something warm just appeared in my pants.
>Stand up and place my fists on the desk/table/counter thing in front of me, very dramatically
>Professor asks me, "Problem?"
>"I have to leave."
>"Why?"
>"I...shit my pants."
>proceed to leave class, scrape shit from pants, and return to class

[Anonymous No.2973626]

>Walk into class 15 minutes early.
>See random guy sitting in my seat.
>Look around class, its unusually full and I don't recognize anyone.
>Look at the Prof, mumble something about sorry for disturbing the class prior to mine.
>Everyone looks at me, I leave.
>Come back exactly on time.
>People look at me like I'm fucking high.
>Sit in the seat next to the random guy whos in my seat.
>Fuck that guy.

[Anonymous No.2973632]

>mfw this thread

[Anonymous No.2973633]

>>2973626
>autistic as fuck

[Anonymous No.2973634]

>itt fat nerds who eat shitty junk-food diets are surprised they spontaneously shit their pants

[Anonymous No.2973644]

>>2973634
I am this guy:
>>2973503
The only thing I had for breakfast the morning of said shitting was some McDonald's burger things, but with the pancakes for buns, and the sausage patty instead of ground beef.

[Anonymous No.2973651]

>>2973644
And that is...supposed to prove him wrong?

[Anonymous No.2973652]

>high school
>average boring day
>ate burrito for lunch
>holding in farts all of fourth period and on the school bus
>get off the bus trying to run home
>walk into stop sign
>laughed at by the people on the bus who saw
>they start laughing even harder all of a sudden
>I shit my pants
>brown stuff was not noticable on my dark pants but I chose to wear a light shirt that day

And I've been taking public transit ever since.

[Anonymous No.2973659]

/sci/ - shit

how apropos.

[Anonymous No.2973662]

>>2973633
It looked like they were all in the middle of taking a test when I first walked in. I had about 5 seconds to make a choice, and so I figured the safest play was to gtfo of there instead of taking a seat in the middle of an ongoing test with people going wtf.

[Anonymous No.2973670]

So... /sci/ is made of a bunch of people who shit their pants whenever.

I didn't need to know that.

[Anonymous No.2973675]

>>2973651
It normally doesn't make me shit that bad.

[Anonymous No.2973678]

>>2973675
>that bad

[Anonymous No.2973700]

I never shit my pants, but I did wear a shirt that was sitting damp in the washing machine the day before, before I dried it out prior. All of a sudden in the middle of class the fucking thing "activated" out of nowhere and started reeking like wet dog fur, or something to that effect. It was horrible and I felt so ashamed... but then I felt better because the Indian kid who sits next to me sometimes smells like curry, and thats always way worse.

[Anonymous No.2973724]

>>2973700
I prefer the smell of curry over the stale and moldy smell of aspies liek yourself

[Anonymous No.2973751]

I don't often shit my pants, but when I do, I do it in the middle of a university classroom so I can fuck up my entire future.

[Anonymous No.2973753]

Holy shit, I am going to shit my pants if I keep laughing at all these stories about how you all shit your pants.

[None !mabuseJv.6 No.2973775]

Either we're keen on toilet humour today, or the majority of /sci/ is incontinent.

[Anonymous No.2973786]

>In Biology
>Preparing to give a lecture on ATP and cellular respiration
>Get up
>I ate three burritos that morning, and also drank coffee
>Shit my pants in front of the entire class
>My face was full of "wat" and "FFFFFFUUUUUU"
>Everyone notices
>Before running from the class, I say "And that was an example of my intestinal cells using cellular respiration to turn food into energy, followed by feces, the waste product."

[Lord Fap !h3WDZNERS6 No.2973790]

>History class, I have stomach cramps all day.
>Before lesson starts, I let out a silent killer.
>Whole room stinks immediately like hell itself.
>Sulfur everyhwere, people start moaning and >opening windows.
>Bro comes in and smell the air, points at hobo >dude and says: "Goddamit dude, that was you >again, wasn't it?" I smirk all class long.

[Anonymous No.2973792]

I went to school for a presentation. i shit myself beforehand. waddled up with spaghetti streaming out my pockets, slipped on the floor and everybody walked the dinosaur
amioldfagenoughyet?!

[Anonymous No.2973794]

Sure is samefag in here.

[Anonymous No.2973803]

>sitting in english class
>whole class reading in silence
>suddenly, stomach growling
>oh god the awkwardness

[None !mabuseJv.6 No.2973829]

>>2973803
Oh god the awkwardness.

But seriously this one happened to me recently:
>in class/tutorial/whatever
>stomach growling, low, quiet growl
>oh shit my stomach oh the embarrassment
>decide to drink water to stop it from growling
>seems to work
>suddenly GURGLING GROWLING EXPLOSION-type noises
>had to apologise for the noise

[Anonymous No.2973855]

not in class, but damn close

>ate breakfast at Dennys
>had to tell them to take the hash browns back 3 times to actually cook them so they werent still frozen and hard/white
>had 3 cups of shit water down coffee
>going to next class 30 minutes after finishing
>walking there
>start getting stomach cramps
>fart a few times to see if that relieves it
>gets worse
>gets way way way worse
>oh my god what the fuck is going on
>fuck class
>jump in car speed home at 100 mph
>scream the entire way home writhing in agony, keeping my entire body tensed up with 100% muscle usage
>run into bathroom
>explode like 8 large solid turds along with lots of liquid all in 1 huge explosion
>my bunghole is sore for like a week.

[Anonymous No.2973871]

>wake up late for a presentation
>run to class and barely make it
>first to make a presentation
>stand in front of the class
>in nothing but my underwear

[Anonymous No.2973875]

http://www.google.com/webhp?hl=en#sclient=psy&hl=en&site=webhp&source=hp&q=4chan+shi
t+stories&aq=f&aqi=&aql=&oq=&pbx=1&bav=on.2,or.r_gc.r_pw.&fp=822bf32
b5c0e0691

>this thread

[Anonymous No.2973881]

>High school math class
>Called up to the board to answer a math question
>6/2(+1+2)
>Answered with "1"
>entire class laughed at me.

[Anonymous No.2973890]

>>2973881

[Anonymous No.2973899]

>>2973881
Your entire class was stupid, seeing as you were entirely correct

[Anonymous No.2973904]

>in college class
>shit my pants
>feel embarrased

[Fr 87 No.2973906]

>>2973881

[Anonymous No.2973922]

>>2973906


anyone who has seen Unstoppable knows those things dont work.

[Anonymous No.2973924]

giving presentattion on IgM

get asked whether all 5 binding sites can be occupied simultaneously

say yes

get into an argument with a guy cause he read on wikipedia that they can't

call him out on flawed sources say that small particles can bind and steric hinderance is not a problem

recieve an A

[Anonymous No.2973950]

>>2973924
>not stabbing him after class

[Anonymous No.2973957]

>>2973881
/thread

[Anonymous No.2973960]

>ethics class
>class debates erryday
>have a history of calling people out when they make stupid assumptions or assertions on an issue
>grow to enjoy figuring out what students don't know and then nailing them with it
>I'm not a complete asshole, but participation was a huge part of our grade and I'm not afraid of making people look stupid to get an A in a course
>near the end of the class, I raise my hand when the floor opens to class questions
>the speaker takes one look at me and just says "Uh oh."
>entire class laughs.

I hate it when the entire class laughs at something related to me. I start blushing like crazy.

[Anonymous No.2973970]

>In college
>Flunk out
>Feel embarassed

[Anonymouse No.2973971]

>>2973960
>ethics class

[Anonymous No.2973973]

>in business class
>going to give a presentation on a business
>starts off alright
>feel the call of nature
>oh god not now
>try to just continue, ignore it
>failing BADLY
>start shitting
>oh god shit everywhere
>start crying
>run to the door
>get on the floor
>everyone walk the dinosaur

[Anonymous No.2973977]

>>2973960
I suppose there's a win here as well. I was one of the last to present and so the entire class was eager to ask me a billion questions hoping to get me to admit I don't know something. Being prepared for questions was a part of the grade, so everyone got deducted when that happened.

I spent a week studying one specific issue in all the detail I could find. The entire class tried to nail me and every single person failed. I walked out of there with the biggest trolface ever.

[Anonymous No.2973979]

>>2973960
They're laughing at you because you're a douche.

[Anonymous No.2973984]

>>2973971
Required for business majors because apparently business majors are inherently evil.

[Anonymous No.2973986]

>>2973973
>business
wat

[Anonymous No.2973990]

>>2973979
That may be, but I'm a douche that got a 3.8 GPA that semester and subsequently got more than one scholarship.

If being a dick to a class of 30 people I'll never see again saves me a few thousand dollars, I'd happily do that.

[Dr. White !!/zv2MTbpUH9 No.2973991]

>>2973986
I know, people actually go to school to study how to do business. Crazy, right?

[resident /sci/ economist !!0CqB7P/574e No.2973994]

>not paying attention in astronomy
>not giving a single fuck
>hear professor say "any questions about your grades on the exam?"
>perk up and ask "Yes, when will they be available?"
> Everyone stares at me
> Professor says "... I just said that"

Apparently he said "Grades will be available friday, do you have any questions about your grades on the exam?" at which I heard "exam" and remembered I wanted to know when they would be available.

[Anonymous No.2973996]

>>2973994
I hate it when that happens.

[Anonymous No.2974005]

>>2973994
Oddly, the best way to respond is to just say "I'm sorry, I wasn't paying attention."

Yes, it's rude to call attention to you not paying attention in class, but it's even more rude to act like you were. This happens to me sometimes because I usually read books in class.

Also, as a precaution, I always ask questions after class in private, when I'm passing the professor out the door. Then I can just play it off as being forgetful or something, and if I do ask something derpy I don't have an entire class staring at me.

[Anonymous No.2974007]

>>2973994
>>2973996

Here's a suggestion: take your ADHD meds

[resident /sci/ economist !!0CqB7P/574e No.2974017]

>>2974005

While ultimately, I dont feel bad, because I feel like its his fault for making attendance required for what he makes to be a boring class. I did in fact say exactly that.

[Anonymous No.2974031]

>Giving a presentation(student speaker series) on objective functions used with RZ
>Define a bunch of terms at the start with a list of goals for each section(was a student inclusive lecture so I had add some extra explanations)
>Give lecture and get some interesting comments/question
>Math professor asks if minimization of one term would improve results
>Had been the point of my talk for the past 25~ minutes.
>Everyone looks it him like a root eating troglodyte because even the first/second years understood that much.
>Felt embarrassed as hell for him.
>mfw he was three days away from tenure and 4/5 of his reviewers had attended my talk and thought he was a moron.
Lest to say, he didn't get it.

[Anonymous No.2974033]

>be your typical socially awkward foreveralone misanthropic kid
>public speaking class, required
>first presentation is a group presentation on something stupid, I think stages of relationships or some shit
>study hard for it and rehearse for days because afraid of looking stupid
>day of the presentation, be completely cool and confident and don't fuck up at all
>entire rest of team full of social butterflies freezes up and stammers their way through the entire presentation
>we all get a meh grade, but I get a letter grade higher than everyone for not being a fuckup
>entire group blames me for some fucking reason
>entire group thinks I somehow pretended to be awkward and incompetent to screw them up...for some reason...somehow
>team hates me for rest of semester

[Anonymous No.2974054]

>>2974017
Don't care what the professor thinks, it's an explanation for the rest of the class. Usually, most of them can sympathize when they're absorbed in texts or facebook or whatever.

[Anonymous No.2974057]

>>2974033
You will learn to love setting the curve/scale just to piss people off like that.

My department only allowed linear scaling of everything but final exams, I'd always study my ass off(along with a few others) and we would consistently get 95%+ on our exams. Which meant that retards who failed bad could never possibly pass.

One semester I think I was personally responsible for 2/3 of my class dropping.
>Get 100% on midterm worth 35% of final mark.
>Class average: 39%
>Class nearly empty next week.
>mfw I realize drove educational evolution

[Anonymous No.2974066]

>doing brilliant presentation in class
>turn around to point at one of the graphs
>everyone starts laughing
>feel great, one of my jokes I put into the presentation has paid off
>everyones laughing at my jokes, feel amazing
>walk out of that lecture hall feeling on top of the world
>get home, take my trousers off for a shower
>shit stain in the anal area of the trousers
>that wet fart i did in the morning was actually me shitting myself
>embarrassed as fuck

[Anonymous No.2974073]

>>2974057
this is me in community college. Every Algebra test I've taken has been 100% correct. I'm sure the teachers and students hate me. I even do the extra credit when I don't have to.

[Anonymous No.2974093]

High school memory:
>Giving 1st presentation of the year, mandatory for Japanese
>Required to speak in Japanese for the 30~ minutes on chosen topic
>Spends weeks preparing
>Stands in front of class, forgets everything
>Took 5~ minutes for the teacher to realise I wasn't going to do anything.

That was worth 30% of my final grade. The only good thing was that this was high school and I was able to re-do it.

[Anonymous No.2974088]

>>2974057
I did. I already took two of my final exams for this semester.

Business law, 90%. Managerial accounting, 95%.

The average was somewhere around 75 for both.

[Anonymous No.2974108]

>>2974073

>algebra
>college

>he feels superior to anyone

[Anonymous No.2974111]

>>2974073
My life improved significantly at that point in high school when I realized how much troll potential extra credit has. Still do it in college. Any extra credit available, I overwork it to get the maximum score.

Professors, trying to encourage others, always point out that extra credit is always done by the people who get high grades anyway, trying to argue that it helps them. The reverse is true, because I get high grades I do the extra credit. Because fuck if I'm going to take a lower grade to bump the curve for others.

[Anonymous No.2974115]

>Advanced Aviation Meteorology
>Professor is a good guy but gets into long-winded tangential explanations of something he likes
>Everyone tunes out, fiddle with their phones or computers
>I keep an ear open whilst drawing a plan view of a Boeing 777
>Professor asks question, I know the answer, say it
>It's right, and the rest of the class didn't even know anything about it
>Everyone laughs at me and picks fun at me for knowing that one term (that I can't remember for the life of me)
>My face when I get an A+ when the class average is a C-, in the hardest class of the entire program

[Anonymous No.2974117]

>>2974073
One foreign kid from India paid me and a friend $250(each) to not get a good grade on an important test so they could scale it.

Friend pretended to be hung over and I just told them I skipped a page and forgot to go back and finish it. We still ended up with the highest mark at 75%, and they scaled it by 25% so I still ended up with 100% anyway. Basically got paid my book costs.

[Anonymous No.2974121]

>>2974108
>living off taxpayers and daddies money while in college
>he feels superior to anyone

[Anonymous No.2974135]

>>2974117
should have invested that $500 in learning the damn material

[Anonymous No.2974147]

>>2974135
His parents where rich as fuck, he already had tutors out the ass; was just lazier then a sloth on valium.

[Anonymous No.2974161]

>>2974117

>mfw you let a fucking kid from india pass

fu

[Anonymous No.2974168]

>>2974117

I take tests for people in my college's introductory chem course. It's a "weeder" course even though in my opinion the material's pretty easy. Three tests per semester plus a final, I charge $200 to do it. Shit's cash. I always set the high grade in the lecture, too.

[Anonymous No.2974171]

>>2974147
>mfw when he will mostly likely become a doctor,engineer or lawyer

[Anonymous No.2974165]

>>2974147
he'll probably be one of our political leaders soon

>have problem? throw money at it!

[Anonymous No.2974192]

>>2974168

$200 per test I hope? o_O

[Anonymous No.2974203]

>>2974192

Of course. Usually have different "customers" on each test. A couple times I've done it for two people in the same exam.

[Anonymous No.2974208]

>>2974168
How the hell do you get customers? I'd love to do that but I don't know anyone and I'm not willing to just sit there and fucking announce it...

[Anonymous No.2974211]

>>2974171
>>2974165
>>2974161
He switched majors from engineering to kinesiology.

[Anonymous No.2974221]

>>2974208

It started with a close friend of mine who had to retake the course. I was hurting for money, and he knew how well I did in the course the first time around, so I offered to take his tests for him at $100 a pop. Word got out that there was a "guy" who would take tests for you in chem. My customers are referred to me by a very small circle of people who know I'm the guy who does it.

[Anonymous No.2974304]

>>2974208
You can always set up "tutoring" posters around too,
has the double benefit of giving you the extra income from that alone and it opens up a potential market if you want to do that kind of thing.

[Anonymous No.2974398]

ITT: evolving from shit jokes to academic fraud

[Anonymous No.2974463]

>>2974304

seems like you could get caught doin it with random nignogs

[Anonymous No.2974511]

>>2974073
i think we have a winner for asspie of the month award