Laboratory Stories

[Anonymous No.2621110]

>In chemistry lab
>Trying to standardize a solution of KMnO4
>Pour solution into 1L bottle
>Cap bottle
>Invert bottle to mix solution
>Cap leaks
>SOLUTION EVERYWHERE
>Quickly rinse skin with tap water
>Skin stained purple and brown
>Rage quietly while finishing standardization

>Cleaning up
>Find 10% H2O2 solution
>*Lightbulb*
>Apply peroxide to stained skin
>Works like a charm
>MFW

How about you, /sci/? Got any interesting laboratory stories to share?

[Iron Man !!WXS2cfNYu00 No.2621120]

>Befriended cutie in first year bio lecture

>She turned out to share the same bio lab as me
>Became partners
>Sex all semester

[EK !EKFQOBUFnQ No.2621122]

> solution everyWAAAARR!

[Anonymous No.2621137]

>Be dissolving copper with nitric acid
>Measuring out suffcient amount of nitric acid
>At eye level with miniscous and accidently flick eye dropper against side of beaker
>Nitric acid lands on my goggles and only my google
>Fuck yah, lab safety equipment does work

6M btw.

[Anonymous No.2621144]

>>2621137
>>2621110 insert this image here

I'd scoff at only 6M. But It is Dat lovely H2SO4

[Anonymous No.2621156]

>accidentally broke a thermometer.
>two of them, don't ask
>Put it away
>Wash my hands
>That was the last time I was in the lab before a long holiday.

[Anonymous No.2621181]

>Pour copper, arsenic, and all organic solvents down the drain
>Don't give a fuck
>mfw

[Anonymous No.2621210]

>Organic Lab
>50 mL of Dichloromethane alllll over my arm
>OH GOD IT BURNS AND EATS GLOVES
>rinse with water
>all is well.

>also: separating Eugenol from cloves
>can't stand cloves for the next week

[Anonymous No.2621224]

Not me but a friend of mine:
Sat in Sodium Dichromate solution that had earlier dripped onto his chair.
The next day he told me his ass was almost completely dyed brown.
A week later he went to the doctors to have the stained layer of top skin removed...OUCH!!!

[Anonymous No.2621235]

>>2621224
newfag
>no greentxt

[Anonymous No.2621240]

>>2621144
6M in the EYES is nothing to scoff at.

[Anonymous No.2621247]

> making stock solutions for a genchem lab that i TA in
>using solid NaOH to make .06M solution for a thermdynamics lab
>acidentally make 60M
>freshman crying while thier beakers explode from rapid temperature change and
>SCORE

[Anonymous No.2621258]

>break a whole bunch of shit
>hide it
>take equipment from others

[Anonymous No.2621266]

>>2621110
meh
>snooping about lab like a boss
>(no one ever supervises me, I got a whole lab to myself)
>see locked cupboard with flammables, but the keyes are in the lock
>have a peek
>mfw there is tons of chloroform!
>too pussy to steal any and use for lols

[Anonymous No.2621285]

Everything has been smooth so far. A lab partner accidentally a whole burette filled with NaOH 1M once, but that's about it.

[Anonymous No.2621314]

>screwing with decalcification system
>accidentally leave it pulsing UHF
>walk away for the night, turn off lights
>return next day to see 200% growth increase

[Anonymous No.2621334]

>Inorganic 1 lab a few weeks ago
>Add calcium carbide to water, produces acetylene and lime water
>You're supposed to wait three seconds, put a stopper with a tube on, then ignite the acetylene as it comes out.
>Girl doesn't wait three seconds.
>Loud bang while I'm across the lab washing test tubes.
Thank god we were using plastic flasks.

[Anonymous No.2621336]

>>2621266
Lies. You have no face.

[Anonymous No.2621340]

It seems you
*puts glasses on*
found a solution.

OH YEEAAAH.

[waffleswaffles !wAffLeNaE2 No.2621341]

>pour ice cubes down somebody's neck
>they pour ice cubes down my neck
>i pull down their pants

Ah, the joys of high school.

[‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮‫‬‭‮‪‫‬‭‮Anonymous‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬‬ No.2621360]

>>2621340
>>2621340
>>2621340
It's just fucking "yeah" from Wont Get Fooled Again
Not the fucking kool-aid guy.
Dipshit.

[Anonymous No.2621377]

>>2621360

[Anonymous No.2621389]

this

fuck i hate chemistry

[Anonymous No.2621464]

>Synthesizing a catenane for research purposes.
>Trying to purify one of the components using a silica gel column.
>Have tried this column twice before with different solvent systems, neither worked well at all.
>Decide I don't want to waste time and materials, load the column up with DMSO.
>Works like a champ.
>Realize that I now have to evaporate 50mL+ of DMSO without significant heating. (boiling point: 189 deg. C)
>Kick myself.
>Try rotovapping under partial vacuum, fail miserably.
>Set up a distillation apparatus under high vacuum.
>It takes fucking forever.
>Worry that my product may have decayed. (It didn't, but nevertheless)
>MFW I might as well have just ran the column with a slower solvent system.

[Anonymous No.2621519]

>Do bad in all my chemistry classes and labs
>Stuck in low paying quality control job after graduation

[Anonymous No.2621620]

>>2621519
How did you manage to find a job with a bs in chemistry?

What's your salary?

[Anonymous No.2621635]

10th grade:
>1st day of chem class
>teacher wants to show off chemical reaction
>drops a penny in 12 molar nitric acid
>suddenly Nitrogen Dioxide
>Nitrogen Dioxide everywhere
>evacuate half the school

O chem 1 lab:
>Running a reflux setup
>supposed to boil mixture then condense with condenser
>forget to add boiling chips
>add boiling chips to hot solution
>Volcano
>Hide it from TA

Research position in Chem E department
>making a benzene ring with 2 ether groups on it
>run the reaction lean in bromonated hydrocarbon to make separation easy
>run reaction, show professor results
>professor says to double the amount of the hydrocarbon so that all the product has 2 ether groups
>add the hydrocarbon
>professor says to leave it in lab on stir/hot plate at 65C
>go off to other class
>Next day
>oh your flask exploded
>no one was watching it

Story from my research professor
>Head of the chem E department
>running experiment
>needed to dissolve some PETE in a fluorinated oil(no vapor pressure)
>adds the PETE to the oil
>heat up oil
>PETE dissolves
>suddenly HF, HF in da hood
>catalyst in PETE production stays in PETE and causes fluorinated oils to decompose.

[Anonymous No.2621654]

>>2621519
Unless you're being paid minimum wage, that shit would still beat spending another half decade doing phd research and postdoc.

[Anonymous No.2621664]

>>2621620

Indeed.com -> search Chemist. Then search for quality control chemist or other entry level jobs within those results. I make 32-35k/year depending on overtime and any bonuses, $15/hr. Probably will make 40k at the most if I'm there for 20 years or something maybe 55k if I become the supervisor a long time from now.

[Anonymous No.2621686]

>>2621654
After graduating and working 4 years of their job they would have caught up with me in what I had made so far in that 8 years. In another 4 years doubled it.

[Anonymous No.2621687]

>>2621664
Holy shit, that's really low. When did you graduate? How long have you been working? Did you have any research experience when you applied? GPA?

Fucking life. I'm a chem major too. This is despairing.

[Anonymous No.2621722]

>>2621687
I graduated 2 years ago, got a job last year. I only taught a lab course in marine science and worked one semester at a marine biology lab. No research experience. I just worked part time in retail other than that. I had like a 2.8 GPA that was only that high due to the fact I took a lot of earth science courses (which have no jobs in that area with just a bs degree).

[Anonymous No.2621748]

>>2621722
I forgot to add that if you go to grad school you'll be making twice that starting out. I'm just too lazy and not smart enough to have gotten in. I'm fine where I am for now, better than retail I guess.

[Anonymous No.2621756]

>>2621722
You suck, bro. That really gives me hope :D

I still find it hard to believe that you actually got a job applying online. Why didn't you get your master's?

[Anonymous No.2621767]

>>2621748
A lot of chemist tells me grad school is not worth it. I'm still undecided.

I thought that, like you, I would get a job as a technician in a lab somewhere and live out my days quietly.

But that's some really low pay. Do you live in a large city? That's barely enough to get by.

[Anonymous No.2621771]

>>2621756
GPA wasn't high enough to get into grad school and I would have to retake 2 years of courses at 1.5 times the tuition cost due to already having a degree. I might save up and go back to school to get a clinical lab degree so I can work in a hospital and get paid 25% more. Then while there I'm planning to get an MBA so I can become and administrator there. But that's in 5-6 years into the future.

[Anonymous No.2621783]

>>2621767
I get paid $500 per week after taxes. So ~2k per month.

Rent is $500/month and I've gotten everything else paid off right now so its $1500/month I have to spend on food, gas, and everything else.

Some large companies will pay you to go to grad school after you've worked with them as long as you stay with them after. I didn't get a job with one of these companies though.

[Anonymous No.2621787]

>>2621771
GPA doesn't matter so much, but what kills it is that you did no research.

What exactly do you do at your job? Is it really bad? Do you come in contacts with any dangerous chemicals daily?

I heard that there are oil rig jobs for chemist in the Arctic that pays quite well, and I read once that someone got a job formulating cosmetics makeup.

They had a master's and make 70k.

[Anonymous No.2621800]

>>2621783
Why not make lsd or MDMA and retire in a few years to the Caribbean?

[Anonymous No.2621815]

>>2621787
I just make sure the amount of active ingredient is in a certain range that corresponds to what it says on the package mainly using GC.

[Anonymous No.2621829]

>>2621787
I'm in an unrelated field, (considered a sophomore in my undergraduate program), and was wondering what type of research would be good for graduate school.

[Anonymous No.2621834]

>Earlier today
>Doing calorimetry lab in Chemistry
>Have to move quickly to get an accurate calculation of the heat of fusion (It's putting ice in a fucking beaker of water
>Get water at 50 degrees Celsius
>Shit gotta measure initial temperature
>Spill
>Fuck
>Try Again
>Lab partner puts ice in calorimeter, some of it falls out
>Try again

The entire fucking lab was like this. A SHITLOAD of material and calculations packed into a lab that I had ignored to study for a statistics midterm. Today literally taught me to despise chemistry.

[Anonymous No.2621836]

>>2621815
It's the easiest job int he world for a chemistry graduate. The chemicals aren't even dangerous you could drink them and be fine. I just come in, calibrate the machines and the run a few samples. Then spend hours and hours spending around in a chair waiting for samples to be brought in an ran and then run them. I work 9-5 and get weekends off.

[Anonymous No.2621850]

>>2621829
Not sure. I feel that it's really important that you know how to bs.

Bullshit on your resume, but know what you're talking about. Even if you really just washed the beakers, make it sound engaging, exciting, a novel experience.

It's the same way in grad school. Nobody cares what your phd research is about.

[Anonymous No.2621868]

>>2621850
Clarification, I'm in accounting. In a relatively dry field, I am not sure how to make it sound more exciting. The pay by itself sucks, (even with CPA), so graduate school is a must.

[Anonymous No.2621900]

>Lab instructor starts doing a demo of hydrofluoric acid to clean out oxides etching in glass titration equipment
>Try to speak up and say it dissolves glass
>Get evil look from everyone mid sentence
>Sit quietly
>Does
>HF everywhere in fume hood
>Fume hood base completely wrecked
>mfw

[Anonymous No.2621908]

>>2621836
That sounds awesome. Why do you not like this my friend?

If I were you, I would stick it out for 5 years to get the experience, then apply for work in exotic places like the Arctic. They usually pay a lot more, or just get a Master.
If that was paying 50k, I would gladly do it for the rest of my life.

Screw grad school.

[Anonymous No.2621918]

>>2621900
>hydrofluoric acid to clean out oxides from glass
please tell me this retard got fired

[Anonymous No.2621928]

>>2621918
Well, he doesn't teach labs anymore as far as I'm aware, honestly haven't seen him around the department lately either.

[Anonymous No.2621956]

>>2621908
The job is in a very rural area in the south. 60% poor blacks, 40% rednecks. Nothing to do in the town besides bowling I guess. Friends and family 5 hour drive away. Its ok pay I guess. The lab manager makes ~50k and does the same stuff the rest of us do except gets all the blame if something goes wrong.

[Anonymous No.2621957]

>>2621722
So it took you a whole year to find a job? How many applications did you send out?

[Anonymous No.2621984]

It was too easy to accidentally make thermite in high school.

[Anonymous No.2622002]

>>2621956
Bro, your life sounds depressing. Bowling?

What happened to FUCK YEA CHEMISTRY?
Why don't you buy some glasswares and do some experiment at home?

Don't tell me you're going to find a nice country girl to settle down with, take on a mortgage and have 2 perfectly average kids.

[Anonymous No.2622005]

>>2621957
Took me 8-9 months. I started by only applying to jobs close to home then as time went by I started applying for stuff further and further away in more rural places. I got 4 interviews screwed 2 of them due to nervousness and not knowing how to answer stupid questions that have nothing to do with he job at hand. The other 2 went well and I was offered both of them but took the one closest to friends and family. The other one was 10 hours away.

I sent out or applied to anywhere between 6-8 jobs on mondays when they were usually posted the most to only 1-2 by the time it was friday. No jobs ever got posted over the weekends. Keep in mind that I didn't a lot of send resumes when I first started because I wanted ones close to where I lived before I got desperate and expanded my search.

[Anonymous No.2622037]

>>2622002
I was about to but I got the job first. I live in an apartment not my own house so I'm limited with that. I was about to set up a few things like a algae ponds, centrifuge, distillation unit type thing so I could make my own bio-diesel from algae.

This is my current plan in this post >>2621771

[Anonymous No.2622069]

>>2622005
That's interesting. Seems like finding a job is harder than I thought.

Did you ever apply to places far away? I wonder how quick one could find a job doing it that way.

[Anonymous No.2622084]

>>2622069
And by far away, I mean the other side of the country.

Still, I'm impressed that you could find a job in this economy.
The are many unemployed phd who would love to be in your shoes right now.

[Anonymous No.2622094]

>>2622069
Applying far away can work only if its rural, this is why it worked for me. Or you have to have a better education than I do because most places want local people and have told me so when I've inquired about the job.

[Anonymous No.2622186]

>Cleaning glassware
>Friend playing around with a long, thin pipette absentmindedly, spinning it around etc.
>Make him laugh with a joke
>As he laughs, the pipette falls out of his hand/hits something (I'm not all that clear as to what exactly happened)
>It snaps lenghtwise
>A five inch long thin glass shard lodges itself deep in his wrist
>Blood everywhere

Took him months to fully recover. Glassware is serious business.

[Anonymous No.2622187]

there is $$ to be made as a qc chemist. working for any big corps blows though as QC is seen as the asshats holding up manufacturing and therefore preventing money from being made. want in? move to raleigh durham and sign up with a temp agency. they will find you something making a fraction of what you can make but this gets your foot in the door. dont be a total fuckup at the job (medium fuckup is fine). dont be a busy body. dont question why you gotta do things a certain way. just do what you are told. QC lab is like reading a cookbook. nobody gives a fuck about the actually chemistry, thats for r & d. hardest part for a new fish is nobody but small places will give someone without experience a chance. after being temp a while, if you are a total fuckup you will probably get hired permanet. learn to hplc/gc/wet chem and go somewhere else. the only way to increase you wages by any large % is to go somewhere else. all the qc chemists i know wish they were something else.

as for stories, ive seen people get nitric on their face. a person spill dichloromethane all over themselves. lots of cuts. ammonium spills. lots of spills of nasty things actually. imploding reservoirs. and a guy blow up a volumetric with methanol/nitric/sulfuric mix right in his face.

[Anonymous No.2622220]

If you don't have one of these you don't know SHIT about chemistry.

[Anonymous No.2622222]

>>2622220
>capcha fail

[Anonymous No.2622229]

>>2622222
I've got worse "scars" than that from fapping.

[Anonymous No.2622238]

>>2622229
those are blisters

[Anonymous No.2622239]

>>2622187
How hard is it to get a position at temp agency?
It's so depressing reading those chemistry blogs where all the unemployed phd chemists flock together.

It's a group therapy section. Some of them actually remove the phd title to apply for QC jobs.

[Anonymous No.2622243]

>>2621464

Fucking bump for hating DMSO

Greatest solvent, and worst solvent at the same time.

[Anonymous No.2622246]

>>2622229
Then you must be fapping with broken glass rods that went half way through your hand.

Not that there is anything wrong with that, just don't see the point.

[Anonymous No.2622252]

Back in highschool so my memory of what chemical was used is vague.

>Teacher is philipino so I cannot understand anything she is fucking saying.
>Ask her what to heat the white power (some salt) in. (obviously should have been a crucible.
>She rambles, I head watch glass and decide to just bust it
>Vigoriously heating a non pyrex watch glass full of some unknown white powder.
>Whole lab group is watching like 2 feet away, everyones goggles are on their heads.
>FUCKING BOOM watch glass explodes
>glass and white powder everywhere, no one was hurt.

[Anonymous No.2622256]

>>2622252
>>2622252

Another from me, same class different bullshit.

>Teacher gives us bunsen burners to light
>One is malfunctioning and somehow gas builds up in the burner to high pressure
>Trying to light it, it wont light so I tip it on its side above another bunsen burner that was lit
>Pressure releases
>Fucking 6 foot flame thrower
>Hits a chick in the face
>No injury but a few burnt hairs....

I felt bad.

[Anonymous No.2622268]

>>2622256
>>2622256
Same guy different shit.
>Doing a research project with a professor
>Filling a container with low molar NaOH
>Starts to leak, have no gloves
>Professor says fuck it well do it live
>Keep holding the container and trying to fill the leak with a fucking tube of cawking
>NaOH everywhere
>Had brown spotted hand for a week
>feel like leper

[Anonymous No.2622297]

>Second year chemistry lab.
>Prepare 200mL of HCl
>Check math again and see I need 50mL more
>Tell lab partner to add 50mL more
>He adds more, starts steaming orange
>Look where he got acid from
>NITRIC FUCKING ACID
>Lab partner goes and get WATER from the TAP to dilute it
>ohshitniggerwhatareyoudoing.wtf
>Stop him and tong the flask over to the fume hood
>mfw

[Anonymous No.2622307]

>>2622297
>>NITRIC FUCKING ACID
i dont know why but that made me laugh

[Anonymous No.2622324]

>>2622252
>>2622256
>>2622268
Wow, you are quite the walking catastrophe

[Anonymous No.2622330]

>>2622297
I wish I could say I haven't seen stuff like that happen before.

Watched a guy get second degree acid burns when he added water to high molar acid and it splashed up all over his hands.

[Anonymous No.2622340]

>>2622324

Since then I have improved quite a bit. But i did recently put my elbow in a plate of e coli. Lab strain so it wasnt too bad. Here is a more bio related one though

>In highschool dissecting a perch
>Go to open the swim bladder
>puncture it and fucking shit sprays in my eye
>next 20 minutes in the eyewash station
>Cont. the same lab
>trying to cut open the other side
>scales are hard as fuck and the scalpel breaks
>launches like a rocket into my hand
>blood everywhere and had to go to the nurse.

[Anonymous No.2622363]

>>2622340
Walking catastrophe indeed.

[htown No.2622380]

prolly should not say this but
there are lots of chemistry jobs in houston.
from pH D to just some college.
get a job. learn everything you can. get a higher paying job. repeat.
try and make some friends at each place you work. they will move up or to different places and can let you know about job openings.
if youre not making at least 40K with a bs youre not trying. you can make over 100K doing shift work.

[Anonymous No.2622385]

>>2621900

>using HF to clean oxides

holy fuck did your teacher graduate from Dumbfuck University?

[Anonymous No.2622391]

>>2621464
>DMSO
Spilled some of that on my wrist once, fucking awful taste in my mount for hours. Another for the love/hate of this stuff here.

>>2622297
>accidental aqua regia
You should have let him put that water in there to teach him a lesson for being a moron.

[Anonymous No.2622406]

>>2622385
Like I said, I tried to stop him cause I knew it was a really bad idea. It was really gratifying for me because everyone that gave me the "shut up" look earlier couldn't look me in the eye for a week.

[Anonymous No.2622425]

>major in chemistry
>use all my knowledge to make and sell LSD
>????
>profit

[Anonymous No.2622431]

>>2622425
You don't have a lot of knowledge if it takes all of it to make LSD.

[Anonymous No.2622468]

Not really that interesting but funny prank none the less
>Stick poison ivy leaves in alcohol overnight.
>Put a few droplets inside annoyingly stupid/whiny girl's chem gloves
>Poker face, laughing on the inside for the rest of the three hour lab.

[Anonymous No.2622477]

>after years of negotiations and favors, the guild in Baghdad sends me various forbidden alchemical agents
>preparing to use Akhem's syrup to extract the soul from a flask Mercury
>the flame in the calcinator had not yet reached celestial saturation
>decide to ponder my thoughts in the parlor as the flame is enriched
>hear crash in the workshop
>run back and see the phial of syrup smashed on the ground
>panic as the syrup, exposed to the starlight, begins to transmute
>quickly decide to counterbalance the syrup's natural blight with the rigorous spirit present in my very lifeblood
>use piece of broken glass to cut an incision across several major arteries
>throw myself in the puddle
>my last thoughts as a living man are that satisfaction in that I had saved my court and peasants from certain death
>wake up several hours later, just before the crack of dawn, on the workshop floor
>confused, I stare into the now inert liquid on the floor
>notice qualities described in Guizulvaldi's notes
>realize I have stumbled upon the elixir of life and have taken up never-ending life
>overjoyed, I run to inform my dear wife
>notice something peculiar about the mirror in the parlor: my reflection is missing
>come to more horrible realization: the elixir was not properly balanced and contained an excess of blight and darkness
>look down upon myself
>see fresh blood stained my body, but the self inflicted wounds were long gone
>open the door to the bedchamber
>discover my wife's mangled body
>realize I had unconsciously committed this sin in an attempt to balance the elements in my body with those in her
>I, Count Dracula, had become a monster

[Anonymous No.2622497]

>>2622468
You reminded me of a cunt roommate I had for a few months. She was horribly allergic to poison ivy, I have no reaction to it. I used to go wade through the thicket plots of PI I could find and come home and get the oils everywhere.

[Implying No.2622498]

>>2622477
Marry me. Take me now.

[Anonymous No.2622526]

>>2622477

10/10, 5 star post, would read again, etc.

[Anonymous No.2622527]

>teacher gives us francium to play with in class
>i fill a 5 gallon bucket with water
>I dunk a girls face in the water then drop the francium in there
> FUCKING BOOM! the cunts head explodes, brain matter flies all over the place
> classroom laughs hysterically
>MFW detention

[Anonymous No.2622540]

>>2622497
I'm a general dick to people and I love practical jokes.

Roommate in dorm used to take all my cutlery and never wash it afterward. Replaced them with nickel forks and spoons and watched as he developed an allergy every time he used them. Was my longest running practical joke I've done, 6 months~.

[Anonymous No.2622548]

>>2622498
girls are so willing to be princesses its disgusting

[Anonymous No.2622556]

>>2622540
This is great. If I ever have a shit roommate again I'll have to pull this one.

[Anonymous No.2622572]

>>2622540

Isn't nickel poisonous?

[Anonymous No.2622577]

Have I got a story for you guys
>cleaning up after a Gringard lab
>Putting my rinsed addition funnel and CaCl drying tube into oven.
>Oven isn't leveled properly so the drying tube starts to roll out
>I go down to make an epic save
>other hand is on the door
oh bloody hell.
>entire oven full of glassware on the floor.
>90%+ fatality rate
>The drying tube I tried to save is fine
>mfw

Also
>mfw the lab instructor mentioned to the lab tech that the oven needed something to keep glassware from falling out earlier that day

I was later told that the set was only 3yrs old and cost ~3k at the time.
>mfw my uni doesn't have a breakage policy so I don't have to pay for any of it.

Though I will likely make some large donation to the department for that loss in the future.

[Anonymous No.2622603]

>>2622572
Nah, the alloy coating just causes allergies if a fair number of people with repeated use.

I just made them with $25 cheap set of cutlery from Walmart and the Universities electroplating lab equipment(and a flat of beer for the lab attendants to let me use it off-hours).

[Anonymous No.2622630]

>Dissecting frog
>Too grossed out to actually do anything, but not pussy enough to leave
>Get paired with a girl with a loose shirt
>Have fun watching her dissect the frog as I look down her shirt at her preteen nipple buds
>best day ever

[Anonymous No.2622644]

>gen chem lab freshman year
>lab partner is a dumb but hot blonde chick
>partner heats up a test tube of HCl as per instruction
>fails to tell me she did so, even after i ask if she has
>i grab hot test tube out of rack to heat it
>test tube explodes in my hand
>scalding hot HCl is now on my hand and arm
>partner screams but i give her a stone cold look and ask calmly for her to gather some bicarb
>wind up sleeping with girl later in the semester because im alpha and have no shame

[Anonymous No.2622667]

>>2622630
>Too grossed out to actually do anything
Are you serious?
When I was a kid I remember everyone was waiting for this day to have fun and we played "whip your neighbor with intestines" and "throw eyes at your friends each time the teacher don't look"
And no one was grossed out

[Anonymous No.2622681]

>gen chem lab
>working with burners
>delicious loli-looking Asian girl attaches Bunsen burner tubing to gas
>turns on gas
>goes off to write shit down and ignores the fact that she left the gas on without igniting the burner
>ohshitnigger.jpg
>gas, gas everywhere
>turn it off, preventing a giant catastrophe

[Anonymous No.2622721]

>>2622667
Eh, I wasn't really grossed out. I just don't like to touch things that I deem unclean. Such as corpses, dirty plates, unwashed vegetables and computer mice used by other people. I keep rubbing alcohol in my room and put it in a spray bottle. I spray down all the door knobs in my house once a month, along with other things that may be unclean.

[Anonymous No.2622754]

>Make compression chamber with grain filter near bottom
>Fill with CO2 and coffee grinds and compress to 4~ atmospheres
>Liquid CO2
>Let coffee soak for a while
>Flip upside down and decompress
>Nearly pure caffeine powder
>MFW I did this in high school and won local area's science fair.

[Anonymous No.2622758]

>made chalcone in lab
>halfway through the lab after our professor abandoned us, another organic chem professor walks in
>YALL MAKIN CHALCONE? CAREFUL NOT TO GET IT ON YOUR SKIN, IT BURNS WHEN MOISTURE HITS IT

>driving home after lab
>car's getting warm inside
>start sweating
>start horrible itching all over face

feltbadman ):

[Anonymous No.2622785]

>>2622754
how did you not get to go to state or nationals with a project like that?

[Anonymous No.2622813]

>>2622785
Parents/School didn't want to pay to transport me and my equipment. Yet they spent money out the ass on a useless sports team that hadn't won anything for years. IMO, that's what is really wrong with the school system in America right now. Smart kids can't catch a break till Secondary.

Whatever, I'm laughing now.

[Anonymous No.2622830]

>>2622813
wtf, how much does it cost to rent a van for a few days and get a teacher to drive you

[Anonymous No.2622858]

>In geology lab looking at rocks
>Fuck this, shit sucks
>Go have a pitcher
>Fuck bitches

[Anonymous No.2622872]

>>2622830
>teacher to drive you
HA, ya right.

The teachers at my school where fucking lazy shits and most of them were under-qualified for what they taught. That and they had a really terrible science program in general. The biology/chemistry teacher was a creationist to the core and didn't know his ass from a hammer when it came to either, so I had no support there at all.

I'm so glad to be out of that shithole, never going back there.

[iron man !!WXS2cfNYu00 No.2622897]

>>2622630

>sure is 12 years old in here

[Anonymous No.2622898]

>>2622858
>Bring beer and bitches to class
>Look at rocks with bitches and give beer to professor
>Get 83% without doing any work
>Fuck Yea

[Anonymous No.2622925]

>>2622898
>phd in pimpin' hoes
>400k a year
>dont need an education

[Anonymous No.2622958]

>Sniff concentrated acetic acid
>Smell vinegar for three days
>smellsbadman

[Anonymous No.2623041]

??????
>walk into the middle of lab with just a bathrobe and nothing underneath
?????
>everyone stares as I grab a beaker full of HCl from some bitch's station
>pull out genatalia and proceed to soak it into the beaker
>the whole class erupts into gasps of shock and horror
>mfw I came

[Anonymous No.2623080]

>>2622667
Kids these days.

[Anonymous No.2623085]

>working in chem lab at highschool
>playing with bunsen burner
>teacher goes out of classroom for 5 minutes to wank or something
>accidently set wall on fire
>posters on the wall catch on fire, fire spreads
>everyone runs out onto playing fields
>entire building burns to ground, small gas explosion
>police ask wat happens
>one kid jokes "the chemical process of oxidation", everyone laughs. Police are pissed.
>noone says nothing more, I get off scott free.
>feelsgoodman.jpg

[Anonymous No.2623101]

>Qualitative Exam
>Bitch at the end of the table has been a huge bitch all year
>She brags like she knows everything about everything
>She asks the prof. stupid obvious questions to kiss ass
>She sits with dumber people and tells them how to do things
>Always points people out who are doing wrong to antogonize them
>Giggles with joy when prof tells her "good job" for any little thing
>Fat, ugly, her life is in her books, even though she really isnt as smart as she thinks

>See this all year
>Make it my duty to help her
>When no one is looking, I place half of my unknown into her unknown vile
>She fucking bombs the exam
>mfw

[Anonymous No.2623118]

>7th grade science class
>doing calorimetry
>some mercury thermometers, some alcohol thermometers
>teacher: whatever you do, DO NOT BREAK A MERCURY THERMOMETER
>after about five minutes, class clown leans over to mess with someone and smashes a mercury thermometer
>lab postponed while teacher scoops spilled mercury into a film canister

[Anonymous No.2623142]

>>2623101
So basically, she was really smart and always did well in class because she was curious and asked questions and then you sabotaged her because you were immature and jealous?

[Anonymous No.2623164]

>>2623142
>Beta fag gettin pissed
lol u mad?

[Anonymous No.2623166]

>>2623142
There's a difference between being smart and asking good questions and being smart and asking fucking annoying questions that make people facedesk 3-4 times a class.

[Anonymous No.2623168]

>>2623166
If she truly was stupid, she'd have failed the test anyways.

[Anonymous No.2623180]

>Last year in honors orgo:
>Lab partner and I are working on our synthesis>
>find it necessary to Rotavap off a shit ton of solvent
>Rotavap eats our product
>take fluid from Rotavap collection flask
>recrystallize
>Rotavap off the solvent again
>Rotavap eats our product once more
>FFFFFFUUUUUUUUUU---
>finally works the third time

[Anonymous No.2623187]

>10th grade
>Teacher leaves classroom
>Start playing around with a bunsen burner
>Catch my shirt on my fire
>Catch my hair on fire
>Start running around like a madman
>By the time it's put out all of my hair is gone
>Get made fun of constantly for a few weeks and occasionally for the rest of high school

I wish I was fucking kidding

[Anonymous No.2623203]

>>2622527

>francium

Nope.

[Anonymous No.2623210]

>>2623168
True, but revenge is all the more sweet when it's served on a warm bed of surprise.

Not that guy btw, I just hated the type of people he described with the same kind of passion. They are "smart" in the term that they can copy-pasta the text and ask the most retarded questions that given a few seconds of thought could have easily been solved without interrupting class.

I have no problem with dumb people asking legit questions, it's when people that are smart enough to answer, yet ask the question that they either know the answer to anyway that pisses me off.

What's worse is that these type of people interupt class repeatedly so the entirety of the course material never gets fully covered like its supposed to and most of the class ends up doing extra night classes to cover it;especially if there is more then one in a class, then the one-up shit happens and nothing gets done.

[Anonymous No.2623217]

>titration lab
>perfect drops
>more perfect drops
>almost there
>FUCKING BURETTE COMPLETELY DRAINS OUT OF FUCKING NOWHERE

[Anonymous No.2623307]

>mfw my TA suggested the next time the other class has a lab that uses HCl and Mg to produce hydrogen gas, we'll take the Magnesium and create our very own hydrogen implosions.
>TA confirmed for bro-tier

[Anonymous No.2623360]

>attempt to electrolyze pure potassium from molten salt peter
>goes good for about an hour
>blows up, shit and fire everywhere
>fire extinguisher does nothing
>did it in a concrete shop
>nothing damaged
>stillfeelsbadthough.png

[Anonymous No.2623490]

>>2622958

I'm like that with formaldehyde. The last time I dissected a pig I couldn't eat ANYTHING without thinking of dead pig fetus intestines because the smell stuck in my nostrils for days.

[Anonymous No.2623504]

>>2623101
>When no one is looking, I place half of my unknown into her unknown vile

I don't understand.

[Anonymous No.2623521]

>>2623504
The exam was to identify an unknown salt. He contaminated her sample, making positive identification impossible because they are assuming a pure sample.

[Anonymous No.2623524]

>in chem
>idiot across from me somehow manages to tip over
>his bunson burner and the tube comes loose, the fire
>catches the gas from the tube and the tube is flaling
>around
>he acts like a retard and doesn't know what to do
>i reach over and turn off his gas like a boss
>hot girl witnesses the whole thing
>fuck yeah

[Anonymous No.2623525]

ITT: Reasons why we hate Chemistry

[Anonymous No.2623541]

>>2623525
>ITT: Reasons why we hate stupid people doing Chemistry
fix'd

[Anonymous No.2623546]

>>2623541
Also,

ITT: Things we did in Chemistry to somehow get laid

[Anonymous No.2623552]

>highschool chemistry lab
>end of the year
>teacher asks us to help sort and clean the lab
>cleaning a shelf in a cabinet, start taking the bottles off the shelf one by one
>shelf becomes off balance and falls ontop of bottom shelf, broken glass and god knows what chemicals splash over me
>teacher freaks and throws me in the chemical shower.
>everyone sees me nude
>shrinkage

[Anonymous No.2623566]

>>2623546

Fix'd

ITT: Forever Alone fags making up stories of quasi-bravery and claiming they got laid for it.

[Anonymous No.2623568]

>>2623546
>50 parts bleach to 1 part acetone
>Keep cold as fuck
>profit

[Anonymous No.2623572]

>>2623552
I'd have been like "step off me, girl i fine." Geez can't believe that kina stuf happen to u lol cuz u no beein nude in publik is like, really hard for most people to take

[Anonymous No.2623576]

>>2623552
Should have grabbed one of the decontamination bottles and started singing/fapping.
>Maximum hardcore

[Anonymous No.2623578]

>>2623568
>whatisthisidonteven

[Anonymous No.2623584]

>>2623578
Precipitates chloroform

[Anonymous No.2623623]

>>2622268
>>Professor says fuck it well do it live
lol'd like a crazy man

[Anonymous No.2623645]

>>2623568
enjoy your cancer

[Anonymous No.2623652]

>teacher demonstrating Na reaction with water
>accidentally cuts off too much Na
>nearly sets ceiling on fire
>class panics
>pause
>class demands encore

[Anonymous No.2623661]

>>2623652
I find this hard to believe, unless he dumped a huge block(>10cm^3) it won't do more then fizzle and light a small hydrogen fire.

[Anonymous No.2623692]

>teacher lights Mg on fire
>look at it, image burned into my eyes for next 10 minutes

[Anonymous No.2623702]

>teacher tries to put glass in hydrofluoric acid
>"YO TEACH, I GOT A BAD FEELI-"
>Am promptly told to stfu
>Teacher puts glass in Hydrofluoric acid
>Nothing happens.
>I go home and cry
>Come back next day
>Teacher died
>wut

[Anonymous No.2623728]

>bringing BuLi flask out of glovebox for schlenk work
>BuLi flask unstoppers, spills in antechamber
>Refill BuLi flask, put in ante, forget I spilled
>Open antechamber, BuLi lights on fire
>grab flask like BAMF, go clamp it
>Boss walks in
>"smells like somethings on fire"
>we play with fire then put it out with by hand

I love the people I work with

[Anonymous No.2623762]

>H2SO4 on hand
>Wipe on pants
>Hole in skin, hole in pants
>Resume lab

[Anonymous No.2623776]

>Handle dry ice without gloves
>Sticks to skin, have to wait for it to melt or rip off top layer of skin

>Handle polyurethane foam compounds without gloves
>Tears off top layer of skin, dyes hands for months

>Finally wear some cryogloves when handling liquid nitrogen
>Gloves are old and don't work

[Anonymous No.2623789]

>>2623776

Boy you might be legally retarded...

The only way dry ice sticks to your skin is if its wet. Or you hold it WAAAY past when it starts to hurt.

Also, using gloves for liquid N2 is worse than not wearing gloves. Glove material can get soaked with it and burn you from the cold. And you can't get them off bc they're frozen. I've held my hands IN N2 for 5-10 seconds, and come out none the worse. your hands are too hot for it to touch them.

[Anonymous No.2623792]

>volunteering at college lab
>chick is a bitch to me
>intentionally leave HCL on the glass beakers she's using
>she puts beakers into muffle furnace, tops covered with metal foil
>lulz

[Anonymous No.2623800]

>>2623789
Well, proper cryogloves are uh.. waterproof, for lack of a more correct word.
One doesn't usually purchase watches because they're 'nitrogenproof up to 50m'.

[Anonymous No.2623806]

>taking bottles out of acid bath
>other guy at lab didnt roll his sleeves up far enough
>sleeves get in acid, acid soaks up sleeves
>his forearms are soaking in 1M HCL
>his arms start to burn
>he puts his hands in the air and runs into the wall

[Anonymous No.2623827]

>>2623800

My point was more that you shouldn't need them for any normal handling of liquid N2. Pouring/using you would never get enough on yourself to actually cause damage. You would only need PPE if you were to submerge yourself in the N2 for long periods, at which point I think someone else would have noticed your gloves werent sealed before you did.

[Anonymous No.2623828]

>leave lab early
>come in the next day and find out there was an explosion 10 minutes after I left
>20 people dead

Well I really dodged a bullet there

[Anonymous No.2623846]

>>2623828
>not go to school in afganistan or imaginary land like this guy
>green text in green text thread

[Anonymous No.2623847]

>>2623828
>Nope
http://www.google.ca/search?q=lab%20explosion%20kills%2020&um=1&ie=UTF-8&tbo=u&tbs=n
ws:1&source=og&sa=N&hl=en&tab=wn

[Anonymous No.2623859]

>in a rush to finish, got an exam to go to right after
>procedure: neutralize basic solution with conc. HCl dropwise
>miss the dropwise part, dump that shit in
>it explodes
>OH GOD IT BURNS
>right next to sink, wash acid off
>TA walks in (yeah, he left the room)
>lolwuthappen?
>acid, acid everywhere
>ask for base to neutralize
>just use paper towels kthxbye
>he leaves again
>...wut?

Fuck I hated that TA. Also, this is why I now feel it's never OK to think you can wing it and skip reading the procedure, you avoid retarded fucking mistakes even if you're in a rush or not concentrating properly.